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How To Get A Girlfriend When You're Dead
A lesbian paranormal murder mystery with demons, witches, and a sprinkling of the undead!
Curses aren’t real, are they?
Easy-going genealogist Ally Brooker knows three things. First, she’s in love with best friend, Char Daniels. Second, there’s a chance Char might love her back. Third, she won’t live long enough to find out because of the curse.
You shall know undying death!
The witch’s words have haunted Ally for decades, and now her fortieth birthday has arrived. Deep down, she doesn’t believe the curse is real, and neither does Char. But later that night, undying death arrives to prove them both wrong.
But there’s good news; Ally can break the curse. The bad news is that to do it, she must find and help the one who won’t be helped, then source a soul for Azagor the crow demon, and deliver it to him in Hell. Easier said than done when the only clues available are a handful of long-lost items from her childhood; one of them possessed by the restless spirit of Elvis Presley.
Assisted by Char and her thirteen-year-old sister Emma, Ally sets out to solve the mystery. If she does, she might recover her soul. If she fails, it won’t just be her soul she loses, it’ll be Char, the love of her life. She has forty days, and they started yesterday.
Curses aren’t real, are they?
Easy-going genealogist Ally Brooker knows three things. First, she’s in love with best friend, Char Daniels. Second, there’s a chance Char might love her back. Third, she won’t live long enough to find out because of the curse.
You shall know undying death!
The witch’s words have haunted Ally for decades, and now her fortieth birthday has arrived. Deep down, she doesn’t believe the curse is real, and neither does Char. But later that night, undying death arrives to prove them both wrong.
But there’s good news; Ally can break the curse. The bad news is that to do it, she must find and help the one who won’t be helped, then source a soul for Azagor the crow demon, and deliver it to him in Hell. Easier said than done when the only clues available are a handful of long-lost items from her childhood; one of them possessed by the restless spirit of Elvis Presley.
Assisted by Char and her thirteen-year-old sister Emma, Ally sets out to solve the mystery. If she does, she might recover her soul. If she fails, it won’t just be her soul she loses, it’ll be Char, the love of her life. She has forty days, and they started yesterday.
270 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 26, 2022
12 people are currently reading
56 people want to read
About the author
Angela McKenna
4 books9 followersFor as long as she can remember, books have been part of Angela McKenna's life. Angela started writing from an early age and her favourite authors include Bill Bryson, Stephen King and Christopher Brookmyre. 'The Visitor' is her first full length novel.
Angela's most productive time for writing is in the evenings after a busy day at work. She also likes to write if she feels inspired on Sundays. She credits some of her early writing confidence to her primary school teacher, Mr McDonald, who was an avid fan of her poetry.
'The Visitor' tells the story of Dr Helen Miller, an economics professor from San Francisco who is visiting England to work on a project. Unexpectedly she finds herself mixed up in family drama and a love story that not only captures Helen's heart but hopefully the reader's imagination. Helen must navigate her way through the drama and find what she has always wanted; love and acceptance..
When Angela is not writing, she enjoys reading 'Tartan Noir' at home near Glasgow. She's also very fond of science fiction and dystopian stories.
Angela's most productive time for writing is in the evenings after a busy day at work. She also likes to write if she feels inspired on Sundays. She credits some of her early writing confidence to her primary school teacher, Mr McDonald, who was an avid fan of her poetry.
'The Visitor' tells the story of Dr Helen Miller, an economics professor from San Francisco who is visiting England to work on a project. Unexpectedly she finds herself mixed up in family drama and a love story that not only captures Helen's heart but hopefully the reader's imagination. Helen must navigate her way through the drama and find what she has always wanted; love and acceptance..
When Angela is not writing, she enjoys reading 'Tartan Noir' at home near Glasgow. She's also very fond of science fiction and dystopian stories.
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Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews
August 31, 2022
Kindle Unlimited Paranormal Lesfic, with a lot of good tropes and an intriguing storyline.
This really kept me rivetted and reading along, it had some Spooktacular stuff, but also good British Humour which I always relate more to. Our MC's are lifelong besties, both 40, who are just about to embark on a relationship with each other - after finally admitting their feelings. But then one has to up and die, setting their future plans into disarray!
There's a curse, demons, and the very real threat of human-evils, as the pair race against the clock to try and save Ally from the grasp of death. Char is her lifelong crush and bestie, and along with her little sister Emma, the trio make a loving family all their own.
But blasts from the past need to be dealt with, and many clues to sort out how to break the curse and save Ally. Sometimes you have to go back to go forward. With the help from Elvis, crows, a witch and souls of the dead, Ally and Char will fight for their love, family and future. Or Die trying.
Highly Recommend the read, on KU.
This really kept me rivetted and reading along, it had some Spooktacular stuff, but also good British Humour which I always relate more to. Our MC's are lifelong besties, both 40, who are just about to embark on a relationship with each other - after finally admitting their feelings. But then one has to up and die, setting their future plans into disarray!
There's a curse, demons, and the very real threat of human-evils, as the pair race against the clock to try and save Ally from the grasp of death. Char is her lifelong crush and bestie, and along with her little sister Emma, the trio make a loving family all their own.
But blasts from the past need to be dealt with, and many clues to sort out how to break the curse and save Ally. Sometimes you have to go back to go forward. With the help from Elvis, crows, a witch and souls of the dead, Ally and Char will fight for their love, family and future. Or Die trying.
Highly Recommend the read, on KU.
August 31, 2022
A fun paranormal read
SAPPHIC BOOK BINGO: not a romance, non-human character, favorite trope, possibly other categories
A woman with a secret crush on her best friend was cursed to die when she turned forty. After that fateful day, Ally was in a transitional phase that would only last forty days before she was completely dead. Unfortunately, she and Char finally admitted their feelings, but preventing Ally's death was their biggest priority, so the romance was put on hold. The curse happened in her childhood, and the witch that had hexed her with it had followed Ally throughout her life to try to remove it from her. It got even more complicated when she discovered that she was half demon. The witch gave Ally tasks to complete in order to make her fully alive again, but one ended up putting her, Char, and Char's little sister Emma into danger. Along the way, Ally found her deceased, estranged mother, and they managed to repair and renew their relationship. There was a happy ending, but it was a bit unusual, as far as Ally's family was concerned.
It was a lighthearted story, even though it contained death, dead characters, and demons. There were some cute moments, but I don't think that it would make it a comedy. I enjoyed the characters and plot, and it seemed like it set up far a sequel. I'd definitely read it!
SAPPHIC BOOK BINGO: not a romance, non-human character, favorite trope, possibly other categories
A woman with a secret crush on her best friend was cursed to die when she turned forty. After that fateful day, Ally was in a transitional phase that would only last forty days before she was completely dead. Unfortunately, she and Char finally admitted their feelings, but preventing Ally's death was their biggest priority, so the romance was put on hold. The curse happened in her childhood, and the witch that had hexed her with it had followed Ally throughout her life to try to remove it from her. It got even more complicated when she discovered that she was half demon. The witch gave Ally tasks to complete in order to make her fully alive again, but one ended up putting her, Char, and Char's little sister Emma into danger. Along the way, Ally found her deceased, estranged mother, and they managed to repair and renew their relationship. There was a happy ending, but it was a bit unusual, as far as Ally's family was concerned.
It was a lighthearted story, even though it contained death, dead characters, and demons. There were some cute moments, but I don't think that it would make it a comedy. I enjoyed the characters and plot, and it seemed like it set up far a sequel. I'd definitely read it!
September 11, 2022
I'm sad to have to give this book 1 star. I wanted to like it, the plot seemed a bit unique - perfect for a rom-com kind of light fantasy/mystery. This book was not that, and to be honest, the words than repeatedly crossed my mind while reading it were "lame" and "banal".
While the bones (the basic premise) were great and had me really intrigued initially, I quickly realized that there was just no meat to it; it lacked depth of characters, plot points, and any real tension. The plot was extremely contrived and full of convenient solutions that only served two purposes: to have me rolling my eyes numerous times, and to abscond with what little tension the story might have had (because you know there'll be some handy demon-sense or convenient crow sidekick to solve any issues that crop up). There were no surprising twists, so it all felt very been-there-done-that in a weird way because the story really was a bit unique, but everything that happened in it felt like scenes borrowed from a handful of low-budget B movies.
The characters were boring and flat; I didn't care about the MC or her love interest at all. And I'm just going to put it out there in case you're like me and get disappointed when you read a sapphic romance that isn't a YA, but still has no sex...there is no sex scene in this book! The humour was mildly entertaining at points, but mostly, it just gave me that feeling of like an old person making an awkward joke that you feel like you should laugh at, but it isn't really funny, you know?
I really, really wanted to like this book, but it was nearly a DNF for me (saved only by the fact that the completionist in me won't DNF a book on pain of death!)
While the bones (the basic premise) were great and had me really intrigued initially, I quickly realized that there was just no meat to it; it lacked depth of characters, plot points, and any real tension. The plot was extremely contrived and full of convenient solutions that only served two purposes: to have me rolling my eyes numerous times, and to abscond with what little tension the story might have had (because you know there'll be some handy demon-sense or convenient crow sidekick to solve any issues that crop up). There were no surprising twists, so it all felt very been-there-done-that in a weird way because the story really was a bit unique, but everything that happened in it felt like scenes borrowed from a handful of low-budget B movies.
The characters were boring and flat; I didn't care about the MC or her love interest at all. And I'm just going to put it out there in case you're like me and get disappointed when you read a sapphic romance that isn't a YA, but still has no sex...there is no sex scene in this book! The humour was mildly entertaining at points, but mostly, it just gave me that feeling of like an old person making an awkward joke that you feel like you should laugh at, but it isn't really funny, you know?
I really, really wanted to like this book, but it was nearly a DNF for me (saved only by the fact that the completionist in me won't DNF a book on pain of death!)
September 15, 2024
Rounding down.
This turned out to be surprisingly fun. The beginning 20% was weirdly paced. Almost too fast with little explanation. It sorted itself out, and by the time the book ended, I was having lots of fun witht he weird little quirky world of demons and ghosts and whatnot.
There were surprisingly some parts that creeped me out. So there was some extra depth I wasn't expecting.
If you like creepy things and british humor, I would highly recommend. I will also add this is a rare book where a couple works together as a couple and the problems are not couple related.
This turned out to be surprisingly fun. The beginning 20% was weirdly paced. Almost too fast with little explanation. It sorted itself out, and by the time the book ended, I was having lots of fun witht he weird little quirky world of demons and ghosts and whatnot.
There were surprisingly some parts that creeped me out. So there was some extra depth I wasn't expecting.
If you like creepy things and british humor, I would highly recommend. I will also add this is a rare book where a couple works together as a couple and the problems are not couple related.
November 13, 2024
Two women have been, basically, circling each other for roughly 20 or 30 years (if I recall correctly, both are in their forties and meet when . . . younger). One has always fancied the other, while the other has been wandering around various other people.
The two finally agree to be "something more" and, before they can get very far into the fun stuff . . ., I don't recall if the kid sister popped up or the "other thing" occurred. Eh, one or the other, I know the kid sister accidentally stopped them once. And I know the "other thing" occurred before stuff could advance.
That "other thing"? Well, the book has that particular title, so not sure why I was being odd. See, that "other thing" is that Ally, the main character, died. The fantasy book kind of died. Paranormal fantasy type of died? Eh, basically, her heart doesn't beat but her "death" has been temporarily stopped by a witch. The same witch that originally cursed her to die on the occurrence of a certain birthday.
Odd-ish story, but fun.
Rated: 4.32
November 12 2024
The two finally agree to be "something more" and, before they can get very far into the fun stuff . . ., I don't recall if the kid sister popped up or the "other thing" occurred. Eh, one or the other, I know the kid sister accidentally stopped them once. And I know the "other thing" occurred before stuff could advance.
That "other thing"? Well, the book has that particular title, so not sure why I was being odd. See, that "other thing" is that Ally, the main character, died. The fantasy book kind of died. Paranormal fantasy type of died? Eh, basically, her heart doesn't beat but her "death" has been temporarily stopped by a witch. The same witch that originally cursed her to die on the occurrence of a certain birthday.
Odd-ish story, but fun.
Rated: 4.32
November 12 2024
February 12, 2023
loved it!
A completely unexpected gem!! There’s a curse that needs to be solved, cute love between best friends, a baby witch and demons and ghosts. Plus a HEA.
Overall: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice: none but it’s not needed.
A completely unexpected gem!! There’s a curse that needs to be solved, cute love between best friends, a baby witch and demons and ghosts. Plus a HEA.
Overall: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Spice: none but it’s not needed.
September 25, 2023
Dead to Wrights
Fun fae world of witches and such. A great read to twiddle the time away. A interesting story about how to Not do something.
Fun fae world of witches and such. A great read to twiddle the time away. A interesting story about how to Not do something.
January 3, 2025
A very funny book. I loved it!
May 5, 2025
This seems like a great paranormal dark comedy with some suspense and a dash of horror, starring a demon, a witch, and lots of dead ppl.
But actually, it is a sweet story about best friends to lovers with a difficult background on one side and neglecting parents on the other. The friends conquer everything thanks to open and honest communication, trust, and a little genius sister.
This is so wholesome, with a side of British humor, that I find myself putting it under the cozy horror genre, and i just love it.
I can't wait to read more books by this author.
Highly recommended!
Rating: 4 5 stars
But actually, it is a sweet story about best friends to lovers with a difficult background on one side and neglecting parents on the other. The friends conquer everything thanks to open and honest communication, trust, and a little genius sister.
This is so wholesome, with a side of British humor, that I find myself putting it under the cozy horror genre, and i just love it.
I can't wait to read more books by this author.
Highly recommended!
Rating: 4 5 stars
Displaying 1 - 10 of 10 reviews