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Speaking Sex to Power: The Politics of Queer Sex
Hailed "a revolutionary antidote to America's growing sexual conservatism," Patrick Califia is the most outspoken and intelligent commentator on sexual politics writing today. Following the acclaimed publication of Public Sex and Sex Changes, Califia once again exposes American mainstream culture with unrivaled brillance and integrity.
As controversial in writing about the private sphere as the public, Califia speaks intimately of changing his gender identy from female to male and becoming a parent in a two-fathered household. Speaking Sex to Power takes the reader on a remarkable intellectual journey with one of America's most audacious thinkers.
As controversial in writing about the private sphere as the public, Califia speaks intimately of changing his gender identy from female to male and becoming a parent in a two-fathered household. Speaking Sex to Power takes the reader on a remarkable intellectual journey with one of America's most audacious thinkers.
419 pages, Paperback
First published November 9, 2001
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486 people want to read
About the author
Patrick Califia
66 books161 followersPatrick Califia, who formerly wrote under the names Pat Califia and Patrick Califia-Rice, is a writer of nonfiction (on men, gender, transgender identity, and sexuality) and fiction (erotica, poetry, and short stories).
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
March 16, 2014
Look, I can appreciate any book that deviates from the safe, agreed upon discourse about the politics of anything to tell us "how they really feel." In truth, though, I just don't like Patrick Califia. I read an essay of his in the Ultimate Guide to Kink and crinkled my nose a bunch and had to look him up to see what place he had in writing anything anyone should listen to. A transman top who has had more than his fair share of play, okay, fine.
This book doesn't really give you what you think you're going to get with a subtitle like "The Politics of Queer Sex". It starts off with a lot of personal narratives (I love memoirs, but I wasn't trying to read one when I picked this up.) Califia has a really narrow view of transgender experience and seems skeptical of people who claim to have always been the gender they live as now (he has stated that he does not believe he was "always a man," and that's fine, but to each their own, dude.)
This book has essays that span from '96-'02 and I try to keep in mind that some of the language here is a little dated: "transgendered", referring to kink communities as "tribes", etc. Still, Califia's narrative is that of a very pompous top that I would not play with. The book reads like he feels everyone has the same underlying psychological desires for why they play the way they do, and if it deviates they are denying not only what they "should" really want but is an invalid kink practice.
Right, so that's another thing. This book is far more about the kink/bdsm community than about "queer" sex. One could argue that anything other than vanilla is "queer" but I think this could've used a better subtitle.
All in all, I found the essays in this book really boring. Califia slings big words around but the narrative is trite and self-important. There were a few good essays on AIDS that I enjoyed, which is where this extra star comes from (but then there was that one about crush videos, where he compares the necessities of eating animals for food versus killing them for sexual gratification.. ugh.)
This book doesn't really give you what you think you're going to get with a subtitle like "The Politics of Queer Sex". It starts off with a lot of personal narratives (I love memoirs, but I wasn't trying to read one when I picked this up.) Califia has a really narrow view of transgender experience and seems skeptical of people who claim to have always been the gender they live as now (he has stated that he does not believe he was "always a man," and that's fine, but to each their own, dude.)
This book has essays that span from '96-'02 and I try to keep in mind that some of the language here is a little dated: "transgendered", referring to kink communities as "tribes", etc. Still, Califia's narrative is that of a very pompous top that I would not play with. The book reads like he feels everyone has the same underlying psychological desires for why they play the way they do, and if it deviates they are denying not only what they "should" really want but is an invalid kink practice.
Right, so that's another thing. This book is far more about the kink/bdsm community than about "queer" sex. One could argue that anything other than vanilla is "queer" but I think this could've used a better subtitle.
All in all, I found the essays in this book really boring. Califia slings big words around but the narrative is trite and self-important. There were a few good essays on AIDS that I enjoyed, which is where this extra star comes from (but then there was that one about crush videos, where he compares the necessities of eating animals for food versus killing them for sexual gratification.. ugh.)
February 26, 2020
Overall an interesting essay collection addressing political topics around sexuality, transitioning, losing an abusive parent, queer parenting, AIDS, S/M, and more from the perspective of a transitioning person in the kink scene in the late 90s and early 2000s. Some of it's pretty dated and occasionally misogynistic, but nuanced enough to not totally break empathy. It's an interesting snapshot.
November 8, 2011
trying to finish it... this author is truly so narcissistic it's almost nauseating, but the content is ok and the historical content is interesting...
as of 11/7/11 I have given up, too many other good reads out there to waste my brain cells on this anymore, better writing next time, (to the author)
as of 11/7/11 I have given up, too many other good reads out there to waste my brain cells on this anymore, better writing next time, (to the author)
February 19, 2008
This is a good book, kind of a narrow outlook on trans identity. Seems to be caught up in the "dykes don't accept us trans people" argument. But it's a good historical account of non - normative sexuality.
February 9, 2023
Finally! Jesus Christ this was a long one. I will say reading a queer elder on kink and the community was really lovely at some points, if at other times it was really long. Highly recommend for folks interested in kink, leather, HIV crisis, and gender!
February 21, 2018
Some of these essays are well worth your time, but it's tough to recommend the collection as a whole. Many pieces hold a similar message but come at it from slightly different directions, making it feel redundant in places. Further contributing to that feeling, Califia-Rice discusses as if new (because maybe at the time they were, relatively) subjects that people who've read a few books on gender are probably already well familiar with.
Still, there are certain essays I don't think any other writer is quite as outspoken about, and for these it's worth checking out. For instance, I've always been confused why the BDSM community has been a part of LGBTQ activism, and the essay on the persecution of BDSM bar patrons and consensual S&M relationships cleared that up for me. His essays explaining his relationship to the LDS church and the exploration of bloodplay and knives in sex were also really interesting reads. Loses me a bit when he gets into pagan worship in sex practices, but to each their own. The more niche subject matters are definitely where this book is at its strongest.
The language is outdated (ie "biological sex" and "transgendered", casual use of the t slur), but given the time of writing and the fact that the author is trans, this isn't so much a problem as something worth noting.
Other reviewers seem to find Califia-Rice narcissistic, but I think anybody risks coming across that way when you collect numerous self-reflective essays like this. It's probably best to just pick out the essays that most interest you, rather than go through the whole thing cover to cover.
Still, there are certain essays I don't think any other writer is quite as outspoken about, and for these it's worth checking out. For instance, I've always been confused why the BDSM community has been a part of LGBTQ activism, and the essay on the persecution of BDSM bar patrons and consensual S&M relationships cleared that up for me. His essays explaining his relationship to the LDS church and the exploration of bloodplay and knives in sex were also really interesting reads. Loses me a bit when he gets into pagan worship in sex practices, but to each their own. The more niche subject matters are definitely where this book is at its strongest.
The language is outdated (ie "biological sex" and "transgendered", casual use of the t slur), but given the time of writing and the fact that the author is trans, this isn't so much a problem as something worth noting.
Other reviewers seem to find Califia-Rice narcissistic, but I think anybody risks coming across that way when you collect numerous self-reflective essays like this. It's probably best to just pick out the essays that most interest you, rather than go through the whole thing cover to cover.
August 8, 2022
Interesting collection that covers history and political movements of queer leatherdykes, particularly from Califa's position. It's not an overarching historical analysis and is twenty years old, so is rooted in trans context from that cultural moment.
January 27, 2015
"Perhaps the only thing that makes it possible for this caravan of sex and gender outlaws to trundle on toward a frontier of greater freedom is a concomitant drive to examine identity politics and possibly even do away with it. It is more and more common for people who want to work for social change to try to build coalitions or to eschew loyalty to any particular group and instead seek out comrades who share their values and agendas. This approach to radicalism will probably reveal some flaws or shortcomings along the way, but for now it is a great relief to be able to hope that empathy and education can heal some of the schisms that have hampered us in the past. Being outnumbered, we naturally wanted to gather together in as large a mass as possible, and responding as one is often a very effective tactic. But smaller groups of like-minded people can also be quite powerful. We need to remember that the labels we are sometimes very attached to were originally foisted on us by a people who hate us. Part of the work that we need to do is an examination of all these categories, so that we can determine when they serve us and when they divide us or distort our self-perception."
Patrick Califia. "Move Along, Now, Move Along: An Introduction." in Speaking Sex to Power: The Politics of Queer Sex (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2002), 73.
This quote from Patrick Califia's book Speaking Sex to Power reminds all of who have become invested in the power of identity politics to be wary of its essentialist and fracturing nature. While identity politics in the twentieth-century have proven to be a powerful mobilizing force for minority groups in Western based capitalist, liberal, democratic societies it has none the less led to banner waving dissension between groups. One only need think of the disenfranchisement of radical gay and lebian (and transgendered) groups from Lesbian and Gay Pride parades to see how the need to develop strong minority "stable" identities in the larger public domain has sometimes led to dropping groups of people who are too radical, either politically or sexually from these designations. Queer radicals must always try to embrace sexuality and identity as constantly changing and mutable categories. Something that "proper, heteronormative" society finds scary and problematic. While we push for political agendas on the one hand. To be recognized politically by groups that have always seen us as outsiders it is dangerous to jetison those individuals we perceive for what ever reason as being outside the purview of our limited constructions of our current political and ideological identities. To do so is to risk replicating what heterosexual society has done with queers in the past (and the present). While political rights are important, and lobbying for them is a powerful force in helping to destabilize heteronormative rules we risk nonethelles gaining a few political points (for those who are entitled) while risking losing social cohesion through our political movements. Califia's suggestion that collective action in small groups reminds me of Hannah Arendt's arguments that in post-war Europe this could be the only appropriate democratic response to the totalitarian regimes of the second world war. Arendt's political theorizing arrived at the same conclusions of Califia, albeit thirty years ago, that political organizing on a small scale allowed dissension to be played out in a meaningful manner. In samll groups democracy was fostered and larger political action came about through the interaction of numerous different groups in federations which according to Arendt, could come together when required over certain political issues and reformulate themselves for other issues. I must admit that I like both of these authors have come full circle myself. while originally being very invested in the power that identity politics seemed to offer on an individual and a collective level, I too have come to distrust larger political entities by virtue of the fact that they minimize dissension in the name of cohesion and solidarity. Always a dangerous agenda. For who knows, who's voice is lost amongst democratic agreement. The rule of the majority always involves silencing a minority and there must be political and ideological ways to achieve democracy on a larger scale while not allowing voices to become silent. It is certainly possible to agree with the general goals of a group while remaining obstinate that the politics and ideological methodologies are problematic and dangerous. To throw even one person out the boat of collective action, no matter the reason, is to place the boat itself in jeopardy on the high seas.
Patrick Califia. "Move Along, Now, Move Along: An Introduction." in Speaking Sex to Power: The Politics of Queer Sex (San Francisco: Cleis Press, 2002), 73.
This quote from Patrick Califia's book Speaking Sex to Power reminds all of who have become invested in the power of identity politics to be wary of its essentialist and fracturing nature. While identity politics in the twentieth-century have proven to be a powerful mobilizing force for minority groups in Western based capitalist, liberal, democratic societies it has none the less led to banner waving dissension between groups. One only need think of the disenfranchisement of radical gay and lebian (and transgendered) groups from Lesbian and Gay Pride parades to see how the need to develop strong minority "stable" identities in the larger public domain has sometimes led to dropping groups of people who are too radical, either politically or sexually from these designations. Queer radicals must always try to embrace sexuality and identity as constantly changing and mutable categories. Something that "proper, heteronormative" society finds scary and problematic. While we push for political agendas on the one hand. To be recognized politically by groups that have always seen us as outsiders it is dangerous to jetison those individuals we perceive for what ever reason as being outside the purview of our limited constructions of our current political and ideological identities. To do so is to risk replicating what heterosexual society has done with queers in the past (and the present). While political rights are important, and lobbying for them is a powerful force in helping to destabilize heteronormative rules we risk nonethelles gaining a few political points (for those who are entitled) while risking losing social cohesion through our political movements. Califia's suggestion that collective action in small groups reminds me of Hannah Arendt's arguments that in post-war Europe this could be the only appropriate democratic response to the totalitarian regimes of the second world war. Arendt's political theorizing arrived at the same conclusions of Califia, albeit thirty years ago, that political organizing on a small scale allowed dissension to be played out in a meaningful manner. In samll groups democracy was fostered and larger political action came about through the interaction of numerous different groups in federations which according to Arendt, could come together when required over certain political issues and reformulate themselves for other issues. I must admit that I like both of these authors have come full circle myself. while originally being very invested in the power that identity politics seemed to offer on an individual and a collective level, I too have come to distrust larger political entities by virtue of the fact that they minimize dissension in the name of cohesion and solidarity. Always a dangerous agenda. For who knows, who's voice is lost amongst democratic agreement. The rule of the majority always involves silencing a minority and there must be political and ideological ways to achieve democracy on a larger scale while not allowing voices to become silent. It is certainly possible to agree with the general goals of a group while remaining obstinate that the politics and ideological methodologies are problematic and dangerous. To throw even one person out the boat of collective action, no matter the reason, is to place the boat itself in jeopardy on the high seas.
October 20, 2010
Pre-finishing-the-book first impressions:It's hard getting used to Pat/Patrick as an FTM rather than a butch dyke, and a married parent to boot! But he approaches it with the same kinky iconoclasm he's so justifiably known well for, with humor, perversity and originality. He's the first person to bring up queer divorce as the corrolary to queer marriage whom I've read. God, he's wonderful. It's a good thing I borrowed something newer, or I'd be stuck reading his older essays, _Macho Sluts_ and especially _Doc and Fluff_ (oooooh, especially!) forever.
It's really nice to get a more detailed glimpse of his past then I'm used to. You can tell he's grown more comfortable and confident in his own skin, and that's not just the transition talking. There's less bravura here and more genuine courage, not that he wasn't always courageous.
It's really nice to get a more detailed glimpse of his past then I'm used to. You can tell he's grown more comfortable and confident in his own skin, and that's not just the transition talking. There's less bravura here and more genuine courage, not that he wasn't always courageous.
June 19, 2009
This collection of essays from Pat Califia is enlightening, and at times completely heartbreaking. Great for those who want to learn more about BDSM lifestyles, trans issues and the history of queerness in the United States. Note that there is a great temporal separation between essays, which sometimes shows a great contrast in Califia's views. Nevertheless, this is a strong collection, recommended.
June 30, 2008
This is an amazing book about framing a politics of desire. Taken from Califia's numerous articles and essays, it also serves as a historical document of the numerous culture wars of the last 10 years.
January 15, 2008
My copy was borrowed and never returned, so its hard for me to remember it so well. But being a fan of Patrick's work, it was quite a joy to see some of his personal essays regarding his transition.
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews