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Diary of a Misfit: A Memoir and a Mystery
Part memoir, part investigative reporting, Diary of a Misfit is a sweeping journalistic saga about sexuality and gender, family trauma and the redemptive force of love.
When Casey Parks came out as a lesbian in college back in 2002, she assumed her life in the South was over. Her mother shunned her, and her pastor asked God to kill her. But then Parks's grandmother, a stern conservative who grew up picking cotton, pulled her aside and revealed a startling secret. I grew up across the street from a woman who lived as a man, and then implored Casey to find out what happened to him. Diary of a Misfit is the story of Parks's life-changing journey to unravel the mystery of Roy Hudgins, the small-town country singer from grandmother's youth, all the while confronting ghosts of her own.
For ten years, Parks traveled back to rural Louisiana and knocked on strangers' doors, dug through nursing home records, and doggedly searched for Roy's own diaries, trying to uncover what Roy was like as a person--what he felt; what he thought; and how he grappled with his sense of otherness. As Parks traces Roy's story, she is forced to reckon with long-buried memories and emotions surrounding her own sexuality, her fraught Southern identity, her tortured yet loving relationship with her mother, and the complicated role of faith in her life. With an enormous heart and an unstinting sense of vulnerability, Parks writes about finding oneself through someone else's story, and about forging connections across the gulfs that divide us.
When Casey Parks came out as a lesbian in college back in 2002, she assumed her life in the South was over. Her mother shunned her, and her pastor asked God to kill her. But then Parks's grandmother, a stern conservative who grew up picking cotton, pulled her aside and revealed a startling secret. I grew up across the street from a woman who lived as a man, and then implored Casey to find out what happened to him. Diary of a Misfit is the story of Parks's life-changing journey to unravel the mystery of Roy Hudgins, the small-town country singer from grandmother's youth, all the while confronting ghosts of her own.
For ten years, Parks traveled back to rural Louisiana and knocked on strangers' doors, dug through nursing home records, and doggedly searched for Roy's own diaries, trying to uncover what Roy was like as a person--what he felt; what he thought; and how he grappled with his sense of otherness. As Parks traces Roy's story, she is forced to reckon with long-buried memories and emotions surrounding her own sexuality, her fraught Southern identity, her tortured yet loving relationship with her mother, and the complicated role of faith in her life. With an enormous heart and an unstinting sense of vulnerability, Parks writes about finding oneself through someone else's story, and about forging connections across the gulfs that divide us.
357 pages, Kindle Edition
First published August 23, 2022
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February 16, 2023
Diary of a Misfit: A Memoir and a Mystery – Casey Parks - 2022 –
In her beautifully written multi-layered debut, Casey Parks chronicles her coming-of-age as a gay teen to the present time. From the pulpit, some bible belt preachers condemned LGBTQ people—resulting in shunning by their families and community. From the 1920’s, Casey Parks poor sharecropping family followed the cotton growers south until the picking was done by heavy machinery. People that remained in Delhi, Louisiana were hard-working and proud— including Roy Delois Hudgins (1925-2006), a landscaper, that lived with his animals in a ramshackle house and played music to entertain others from his front porch. According to Parks grandmother, Roy was actually a woman, his singing was the best music she had ever heard and always wondered whatever happened to him? Parks began to investigate Roy’s story.
By 2010, Parks had completed her college education and had accepted a newspaper job in the Pacific Northwest reporting for the Oregonian, hoping to attain career advancement in writing feature stories about Southern history and culture. Roy’s story was especially intriguing, he was highly regarded in his community, though he quit attending church services when told he would need to wear a dress. Roy unexpectedly passed away in a nursing facility under suspicious circumstances, everyone remembered him fondly. After almost a decade and many trips to Delhi, Parks examined Roy’s public records, interviewed the local historian and others suspicious of outsiders. Parks had to earn their trust and of a superstitious friend and neighbor to access Roy’s notebooks, papers and photographs. Two of Parks associates volunteered to assist in editing and filming the documentary at their own expense. Larger film sponsors were uninterested in the project, awards and funding were scarce.
Big Pharma is regularly held accountable for a major role in the U.S. opioid drug epidemic. In addition, black box warnings on benzodiazepines weren’t issued until 2020. Parks truthfully and painfully related the impact of substance abuse within her own family without mention of these powerful outside forces. Parks felt her mother initially rejected her due to homophobia—yet, Parks avoided and rejected her mother on many levels due to her substance abuse. Considering the conflicted mother-daughter dynamic, this seemed to be (understandably) a measure of self-protection. To her credit, Parks mother attended Parks impressive wedding ceremony and reception when she and her wife Frankie were married (2015). With Parks documentation of the past surrounding Roy’s life combined with her own story, we may reach a better and compassionate understanding of others and the connections we all universally share. ** With thanks to Alfred A. Knopf via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
In her beautifully written multi-layered debut, Casey Parks chronicles her coming-of-age as a gay teen to the present time. From the pulpit, some bible belt preachers condemned LGBTQ people—resulting in shunning by their families and community. From the 1920’s, Casey Parks poor sharecropping family followed the cotton growers south until the picking was done by heavy machinery. People that remained in Delhi, Louisiana were hard-working and proud— including Roy Delois Hudgins (1925-2006), a landscaper, that lived with his animals in a ramshackle house and played music to entertain others from his front porch. According to Parks grandmother, Roy was actually a woman, his singing was the best music she had ever heard and always wondered whatever happened to him? Parks began to investigate Roy’s story.
By 2010, Parks had completed her college education and had accepted a newspaper job in the Pacific Northwest reporting for the Oregonian, hoping to attain career advancement in writing feature stories about Southern history and culture. Roy’s story was especially intriguing, he was highly regarded in his community, though he quit attending church services when told he would need to wear a dress. Roy unexpectedly passed away in a nursing facility under suspicious circumstances, everyone remembered him fondly. After almost a decade and many trips to Delhi, Parks examined Roy’s public records, interviewed the local historian and others suspicious of outsiders. Parks had to earn their trust and of a superstitious friend and neighbor to access Roy’s notebooks, papers and photographs. Two of Parks associates volunteered to assist in editing and filming the documentary at their own expense. Larger film sponsors were uninterested in the project, awards and funding were scarce.
Big Pharma is regularly held accountable for a major role in the U.S. opioid drug epidemic. In addition, black box warnings on benzodiazepines weren’t issued until 2020. Parks truthfully and painfully related the impact of substance abuse within her own family without mention of these powerful outside forces. Parks felt her mother initially rejected her due to homophobia—yet, Parks avoided and rejected her mother on many levels due to her substance abuse. Considering the conflicted mother-daughter dynamic, this seemed to be (understandably) a measure of self-protection. To her credit, Parks mother attended Parks impressive wedding ceremony and reception when she and her wife Frankie were married (2015). With Parks documentation of the past surrounding Roy’s life combined with her own story, we may reach a better and compassionate understanding of others and the connections we all universally share. ** With thanks to Alfred A. Knopf via NetGalley for the DDC for the purpose of review.
June 29, 2023
I am a little surprised by initial rave reviews. There is nothing inherently wrong, per se, but it seems as though this is advertised as something different (The mystery of Roy) with a side memoir by the author. When it should be advertised as a pure memoir.
I agree with another reviewer who said this should be a long article/story— perhaps akin to a New Yorker piece. Otherwise, I personally felt there was a lot of unnecessary padding and repetitiveness. I personally would have enjoyed a separate New Yorker length article on just Roy and the hunt to uncover their backstory.
I agree with another reviewer who said this should be a long article/story— perhaps akin to a New Yorker piece. Otherwise, I personally felt there was a lot of unnecessary padding and repetitiveness. I personally would have enjoyed a separate New Yorker length article on just Roy and the hunt to uncover their backstory.
September 6, 2022
I couldn’t put this down, it was one of the most beautiful books I’ve ever read. Identity, family, acceptance, belonging and so many other big concepts bubble up in this incredibly written story. An uncommon depiction of the south that demonstrates the complexity of humanity. I absolutely loved this book and hope Casey gets all of the accolades she deserves, and helps those who find themselves in this story.
September 15, 2022
This is a hard one to rate, as I was very engaged by the premise initially, but it went on for what felt like far too long without arriving at any satisfying conclusions. It seemed like the author really just wanted to tell the story of her fraught relationship with her mother (which, to be fair, she tells very well), but the way the "mystery of Roy" frames the narrative felt very exploitative and never really sat right with me.
November 23, 2022
This book did not really work for me. I am apparently in the minority judging from the rave reviews. I listened to the audiobook read by the author. She was a good narrator, but a little flat. I found my mind wandering on numerous occasions. I have to agree with another reviewer who felt this book would have been better as a long story in a magazine, perhaps the New Yorker. I thought it was going to be more of a mystery about Roy, but much of the book was Casey’s memoir and stories about her dysfunctional family, in particular her mother and her numerous hospitalizations. The book was repetitive as Casey continues to hit dead ends surrounding Roy and his life. The “mystery” is never really resolved other than the title of the book, which stems from Roy’s diary.
December 4, 2024
this book was a really pleasant surprise, and i loved the audio narration by the author. while i think this is certainly more of a memoir than a mystery, i enjoyed hearing about how casey parks's journey to uncover roy's story led to a better understanding of her own identity. i don't know that i've read a book that more accurately describes the south's complicated relationship with queer people than this one, which was definitely my favorite thing about it. diary of a misfit portrays all of its characters, including the author herself, as messy and human, with both good and bad parts. i did feel that the narrative dragged a bit and became less cohesive in the latter half of the book, but overall this was an excellent memoir that i think more people should pick up!
September 4, 2022
Thanks to Netgalley for an ARC: This is a beautiful, complex book exploring ambiguity, ambivalence, dichotomy. Parks is an accomplished journalist --something I only learned after reading--and she chronicles her slow acceptance of her sexuality, her family and her love for the South while also not feeling welcomed or accepted. Her grandmother, after her mother reacts in horror at the news that she is gay, tells her of a woman who lived as a man: Roy and who was kind. Parks slowly documents and explores Roy's life and in the process explores her own life. At one point, her master's advisor asked if Roy's story is enough for a book--something I did wonder myself. Parks complex relationships with her mother, her grandmother, her extended family, her sexual identity and sense of self are all examined via the life of Roy. Ultimately, the book is a triumph of delving into a story and achieving hard won acceptance while embracing uncertainty and complexity.
September 26, 2022
1.75 rounded up.
'Diary of a Misfit' would have been better presented as a long-form article in a literary journal or Sunday paper as there is not enough interesting material here for a book well over 300 pages long. It's terribly padded, poorly structured, and mostly just really boring. Parks' prose is remarkably awkward and flat for a professional journalist and she seems to have no clue how to build suspense or sustain reader interest over the long haul. The "mystery" is more of a MacGuffin than anything Parks seriously explores, and the resolution to said mystery is deeply unsatisfying. I could not help but wonder where the editor was the entire time I read this book. A disappointment and not worth the time I spent on it (I should have followed my initial instinct and DNFd the book at 20%).
'Diary of a Misfit' would have been better presented as a long-form article in a literary journal or Sunday paper as there is not enough interesting material here for a book well over 300 pages long. It's terribly padded, poorly structured, and mostly just really boring. Parks' prose is remarkably awkward and flat for a professional journalist and she seems to have no clue how to build suspense or sustain reader interest over the long haul. The "mystery" is more of a MacGuffin than anything Parks seriously explores, and the resolution to said mystery is deeply unsatisfying. I could not help but wonder where the editor was the entire time I read this book. A disappointment and not worth the time I spent on it (I should have followed my initial instinct and DNFd the book at 20%).
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November 20, 2022I feel conflicted about writing reviews of memoirs. Parks puts her trauma out there for and that’s very real and very hard. I’m glad Parks put hers and Roy’s stories out there. Ultimately, there are parts I loved about this book and parts I didn’t, and in some ways I think there’s missed potential here.
Most of all I think I wish it had been structured differently. The mostly chronological structure wasn’t very creative. I don’t know if Parks’s intention was to mirror the long and drawn out and often hopeless feeling she had in pursuit of Roy’s story, but the title promised a mystery and I wanted more twists and turns. I do think there’s a way to structure this story so it would have delivered on this. The prologue and chapter one were killer. They had the feeling of a mystery with all the drama. The last two chapters had that sense of excitement, too. There was a major twist and I loved that Roy’s letters finally only appeared right at the end when I thought they never would. I thought that was a great choice. But everything in the middle felt like a slog at many points. Parks mentions quite a few times how the women in her family exaggerated their stories and I wish she’d adopted this trait in her own storytelling. Maybe that’s just not her style. There was also more tell than show overall, which likewise feels like a missed opportunity not the least because she could have painted such a vivid portrait of rural Louisiana.
I loved every part about her mother. What a complicated person who struggled so much. Everything about her mom from the wedding onward had me feeling feels. When she asked her mother to do her makeup at her brother’s wedding that had me almost getting weepy. When they went out together to the gay party in Mississippi and we got to witness all the growth her mother made that was so powerful. That her mother never got to hear the voicemail from Jennifer Finney Boylan was so fucking heartbreaking.
One thing that’s silly: I need to know why Parks didn’t wear her glasses to her wedding! As someone who can’t see without my glasses I cannot fathom why you’d want to show up to your wedding like that?! It sounded like another thing that held her back from fully participating and feeling joy in life, but that seems like it was a big part of her struggles that resulted from her trauma.
Also, is the documentary going to be a thing? Will we get to watch it?
One last stupid fun point. I lived in Portland for four years when Casey did. I was in college and going through my big gay college awakening in that lesbian ass town. I love thinking that I passed Parks on the street or saw her in New Seasons grocery store (that was somehow always teeming with the hottest dykes) and thought wow another hottie. 😂
Most of all I think I wish it had been structured differently. The mostly chronological structure wasn’t very creative. I don’t know if Parks’s intention was to mirror the long and drawn out and often hopeless feeling she had in pursuit of Roy’s story, but the title promised a mystery and I wanted more twists and turns. I do think there’s a way to structure this story so it would have delivered on this. The prologue and chapter one were killer. They had the feeling of a mystery with all the drama. The last two chapters had that sense of excitement, too. There was a major twist and I loved that Roy’s letters finally only appeared right at the end when I thought they never would. I thought that was a great choice. But everything in the middle felt like a slog at many points. Parks mentions quite a few times how the women in her family exaggerated their stories and I wish she’d adopted this trait in her own storytelling. Maybe that’s just not her style. There was also more tell than show overall, which likewise feels like a missed opportunity not the least because she could have painted such a vivid portrait of rural Louisiana.
I loved every part about her mother. What a complicated person who struggled so much. Everything about her mom from the wedding onward had me feeling feels. When she asked her mother to do her makeup at her brother’s wedding that had me almost getting weepy. When they went out together to the gay party in Mississippi and we got to witness all the growth her mother made that was so powerful. That her mother never got to hear the voicemail from Jennifer Finney Boylan was so fucking heartbreaking.
One thing that’s silly: I need to know why Parks didn’t wear her glasses to her wedding! As someone who can’t see without my glasses I cannot fathom why you’d want to show up to your wedding like that?! It sounded like another thing that held her back from fully participating and feeling joy in life, but that seems like it was a big part of her struggles that resulted from her trauma.
Also, is the documentary going to be a thing? Will we get to watch it?
One last stupid fun point. I lived in Portland for four years when Casey did. I was in college and going through my big gay college awakening in that lesbian ass town. I love thinking that I passed Parks on the street or saw her in New Seasons grocery store (that was somehow always teeming with the hottest dykes) and thought wow another hottie. 😂
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 18, 2022
A very interesting memoir of the author and a biography of sorts on a woman who lived as a man in the same southern town. Parks spent many years trying to tell the story of Roy Hudgins, but not feeling as though she could capture Roy’s essence. Only by working through many of her own issues of feeling disconnected, could she finally finish the story of Roy. This book was a beautifully written story of the difficulty of feeling that your mind doesn’t match your gender, and what those people have to negotiate to be able to feel accepted and normal.
October 15, 2022
I can definitely appreciate that there was not enough material to write a whole book about Roy, but those are the parts of the book that I found interesting and my reason for picking it up in the first place. I was far less interested in Casey Parks' life in Louisiana/Oregon. I do think it hangs together, but it just wasn't all that singular.
December 6, 2022
The subjects of this book (the author and Roy) are the story, but I found her journalistic process to be the most interesting subject, and the author’s mother (and even Pam, TBH) to be more interesting than either the author or Roy.
This is a quiet book where not much happens, which sometimes is just the type of book you're in the mood for.
This is a quiet book where not much happens, which sometimes is just the type of book you're in the mood for.
March 9, 2023
This was one of my favorite books I've read in a long time. Beautiful, devastating, epic. Larger than life and also the exact same size as life. Recommend for people who liked Andrew Solomon's Far From the Tree and Michelle Zauner's Crying in H-Mart.
September 30, 2022
One of the best books I have ever read.
July 5, 2023
Crying on the beach right now because I think this is the single most beautiful book I’ve ever read and I’ve never felt so seen in something. More thoughts later
September 28, 2025
3.5? I wanted to love it, but was left with a lot of open questions. Maybe that was intentional? I initially liked the switching between her own story and Roy's but then it just sort of dragged on.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 21, 2025
That day in Reno, I went to the library with the big staircase and spent an hour or so, or even more browsing through the shelves filled with books. And suddenly I saw this cover and the title Diary of a Misfit. I knew I had to get it despite its size and weight. I couldn’t buy too many books for my suitcase wasn’t that big.
But now, as I am done reading this book, I am so glad I did. It was definitely worth it. What a great read. Casey, her Mom, Roy and Cam. They touched me. Times are hard again.
But now, as I am done reading this book, I am so glad I did. It was definitely worth it. What a great read. Casey, her Mom, Roy and Cam. They touched me. Times are hard again.
September 15, 2022
It’s rare that I can’t put a book down for another one of the books I’m reading, or for work or parenting, but I both listened to Diary of a Misfit and read the hard copy so I could read it while I was making dinner and long after my kid was in bed. This book examines themes close to my heart — how identity is influenced by the people, places, and stories that give us context, the purpose of writing and sharing stories, the difference between projection and empathy, how certain internal longings cannot be satisfied by external sources, and so much more. It didn’t take long before I, too, became more curious about why Roy’s story meant so much to Parks than Roy’s story itself, and I found Parks’ reflections and hard-won self-compassion refreshing. It never felt like Parks was judging or blaming past versions of herself, only acknowledging how the people/places/stories/structures that were influencing her at the moment shaped her thinking. I also appreciated the nuanced rendering of the South, a region whose inhabitants are often written with pity or a fetishizing curiosity. Sure, the book faces some of the challenges almost all long narratives do — some self-analysis and details are rehashed in a way that felt repetitive to me, but I also know it’s hard to gauge how much a reader will remember over the course of 350 pages. All in all, I can’t recommend this book enough, especially for those with a tendency to look for themselves in stories, hoping for a hint of instruction on how to live.
August 16, 2023
Neither much of a mystery nor a memorable memoir, DIARY OF A MISFIT never really came together for me. As much as I liked some of the people and places Parks profiled along the way, they were not enough to elevate this disjointed material.
Nor were they even the focus. For too much of this book Parks insists on detailing how much time she spent crying. Sometimes I was not even sure if the author was trying to be funny, such as when she was so homesick she applied for a job in New Orleans, then turned down the job because she (a reporter in 2011) thought recycling might be illegal in Louisiana. Maybe this is a joke, but the author does not seem very curious for a reporter. "I never found out which story was true," she relates about the time her mother sent her a picture of her breasts "turning black with rot", attributed to either cancer, or a spider bite.
Still I was tempted to give this book another star for meeting some of the wonderful people Parks vividly introduces around Delhi - her mother, cousin Jennifer, cousin Christopher, Roy's friend Mark King, Delhi Chief of Police Rufus Carter, Delhi socialite Dorothy, or devoted Pam. Parks does a fantastic job of sharing all of them. But they can't make up for the lack of substance here. The inspiration we gain from growing up in small towns with people like Roy and Pam and all the others Parks introduces should have guided this book to a meaningful conclusion.
For more thoughtful and inspired memoirs on similar themes I highly recommend Chana Wilson's "Riding Fury Home" or Alison Bechdel's "Fun Home".
Nor were they even the focus. For too much of this book Parks insists on detailing how much time she spent crying. Sometimes I was not even sure if the author was trying to be funny, such as when she was so homesick she applied for a job in New Orleans, then turned down the job because she (a reporter in 2011) thought recycling might be illegal in Louisiana. Maybe this is a joke, but the author does not seem very curious for a reporter. "I never found out which story was true," she relates about the time her mother sent her a picture of her breasts "turning black with rot", attributed to either cancer, or a spider bite.
Still I was tempted to give this book another star for meeting some of the wonderful people Parks vividly introduces around Delhi - her mother, cousin Jennifer, cousin Christopher, Roy's friend Mark King, Delhi Chief of Police Rufus Carter, Delhi socialite Dorothy, or devoted Pam. Parks does a fantastic job of sharing all of them. But they can't make up for the lack of substance here. The inspiration we gain from growing up in small towns with people like Roy and Pam and all the others Parks introduces should have guided this book to a meaningful conclusion.
For more thoughtful and inspired memoirs on similar themes I highly recommend Chana Wilson's "Riding Fury Home" or Alison Bechdel's "Fun Home".
September 11, 2022
Could've been (and should've been) a longform article. There is a *lot* of padding in this book - every interview comes with a near-identical paragraph about the author's struggle being confrontational with her subjects - and she hasn't quite found the way yet to seamlessly integrate context (like Census statistics) with the narrative either.
August 30, 2022
A beautiful, sweeping memoir that shines a loving, searching light on trans and queer and working class histories of the American South and explores the complex pain and love of family and religion and the search for home.
October 28, 2024
This book was a grind. I really enjoyed Casey and her really skilled writing and personal reflection, but something didn’t click for me.
I do love how the title doesn’t necessarily specify who is the misfit, and the parallels of both Roy and Casey’s stories are really rich when we take a step back.
I think the format of the novel was wonderful, my only complaint is the fact that we had to wait until the last chapter and nearly the bitter end to finally find out *REDACTED.* I wish there was a little more time at the end to deep dive in and start connecting and challenging what Roy left us with.
I have some ethical questions and think this would make a great conversation. Would recommend for the most part.
I do love how the title doesn’t necessarily specify who is the misfit, and the parallels of both Roy and Casey’s stories are really rich when we take a step back.
I think the format of the novel was wonderful, my only complaint is the fact that we had to wait until the last chapter and nearly the bitter end to finally find out *REDACTED.* I wish there was a little more time at the end to deep dive in and start connecting and challenging what Roy left us with.
I have some ethical questions and think this would make a great conversation. Would recommend for the most part.
December 9, 2022
This book is excellent, a vulnerable beautifully-crafted and empathetic personal journey into queerness, belonging, and discovery. One of my favorites this year.
February 11, 2023
this book kept me listening on and on!!
September 17, 2022
Under the guise of researching a local misfit, Parks unpeels her own history.
June 8, 2025
I really wanted to love this one. And Casey Parks undoubtedly contributed in some meaningful ways to LGBTQ+ stories and chronicles.
Notably:
- bringing in queer voices often ignored notably both her story as a lesbian and her chronicles of a trans man Roy Hudgins (1925-2006) who were poor, queer and living in a rural southern town.
- there was beautiful self-reflections on how harm is done to queer folks who feel they must leave their rural towns when they find the "big gay cities" are not what they had hoped.
- Parks brought attention to transphobic harms often not spoken of - notably the mental deterioration, dysphoria, and distress Roy underwent when placed in a women's old folks home and forced to wear a pink gown
My issues:
- She deadnamed and misgendered Roy consistently. She fluctuated between using she/her and he/him pronouns for Roy (and other names) in reflecting what language interviewers used. I understand that there is often complexity surrounding the assignment of gender, pronouns, and identity to people in the past, particularly when we don't know how they viewed their own gender, and we want to avoid imposing our understandings on them. BUT Roy explicitly said he was a man and wanted the name Roy and he/him pronouns to many people who knew him best. So I don't understand why Casey continued to fluctuate? I hate that as trans people we need to continually defend that misgendering and deadnaming is not an option for people to take. I hate that we have to do this in life and death.
- The story was very heavily centred around Casey, which is great, as she has such an important story to tell. But I would have liked a little more on Roy. But more specifically, how she felt connected to him (it was very minor in this analysis), I was left wondering why she was combining her biography with his.
- I feel a bit uncomfortable with the inclusion of Roy's diaries. I understand that Casey was deeply invested and put great care into presenting Roy's life and his story. However, he explicitly told his neighbour that he wanted no one to read them, and he would put a curse on the neighbour if he ever let anyone read the pages. I don't think these should have been included if he was that expclit. And if they were to be included why were they the last couple pages of the book like an afterthought.
Notably:
- bringing in queer voices often ignored notably both her story as a lesbian and her chronicles of a trans man Roy Hudgins (1925-2006) who were poor, queer and living in a rural southern town.
- there was beautiful self-reflections on how harm is done to queer folks who feel they must leave their rural towns when they find the "big gay cities" are not what they had hoped.
- Parks brought attention to transphobic harms often not spoken of - notably the mental deterioration, dysphoria, and distress Roy underwent when placed in a women's old folks home and forced to wear a pink gown
My issues:
- She deadnamed and misgendered Roy consistently. She fluctuated between using she/her and he/him pronouns for Roy (and other names) in reflecting what language interviewers used. I understand that there is often complexity surrounding the assignment of gender, pronouns, and identity to people in the past, particularly when we don't know how they viewed their own gender, and we want to avoid imposing our understandings on them. BUT Roy explicitly said he was a man and wanted the name Roy and he/him pronouns to many people who knew him best. So I don't understand why Casey continued to fluctuate? I hate that as trans people we need to continually defend that misgendering and deadnaming is not an option for people to take. I hate that we have to do this in life and death.
- The story was very heavily centred around Casey, which is great, as she has such an important story to tell. But I would have liked a little more on Roy. But more specifically, how she felt connected to him (it was very minor in this analysis), I was left wondering why she was combining her biography with his.
- I feel a bit uncomfortable with the inclusion of Roy's diaries. I understand that Casey was deeply invested and put great care into presenting Roy's life and his story. However, he explicitly told his neighbour that he wanted no one to read them, and he would put a curse on the neighbour if he ever let anyone read the pages. I don't think these should have been included if he was that expclit. And if they were to be included why were they the last couple pages of the book like an afterthought.
July 10, 2024
I picked this up because the author's from Louisiana. I thought that Casey Parks was close to my age and I hoped that she'd write about people that I knew.
The problem is that I misread the summary on the inside flap. I though the author was from south Louisiana, but she's from Delhi, which is in the top northeast corner of the state.
The difference between north and south Louisiana matters. I grew up about an hour away from New Orleans. There were bayous, alligators, Creole French, Spanish moss and Catholicism. North Louisiana more closely resembles Arkansas, Texas, and Mississippi. People describe themselves as redneck and speak in a Texan drawl. Protestant churches are the norm. There's Spanish moss, but there are no bayous.
I've lived in south Louisiana, including New Orleans. And I've lived in Alexandria, which is on the border between north and south.
Still, Casey Park's memoir resonates. I grew up Protestant in Catholic south Louisiana. I know the style of worship she describes. I also know what she means when she describes conflicted feelings towards Louisiana. In some ways it's home, but in other ways it never was.
This is a really well done book. Don't approach it as a real-life true-crime missing person story. Roy's story is what starts everything, but what sustains it is Casey Park's life.
It's worth reading.
The problem is that I misread the summary on the inside flap. I though the author was from south Louisiana, but she's from Delhi, which is in the top northeast corner of the state.
The difference between north and south Louisiana matters. I grew up about an hour away from New Orleans. There were bayous, alligators, Creole French, Spanish moss and Catholicism. North Louisiana more closely resembles Arkansas, Texas, and Mississippi. People describe themselves as redneck and speak in a Texan drawl. Protestant churches are the norm. There's Spanish moss, but there are no bayous.
I've lived in south Louisiana, including New Orleans. And I've lived in Alexandria, which is on the border between north and south.
Still, Casey Park's memoir resonates. I grew up Protestant in Catholic south Louisiana. I know the style of worship she describes. I also know what she means when she describes conflicted feelings towards Louisiana. In some ways it's home, but in other ways it never was.
This is a really well done book. Don't approach it as a real-life true-crime missing person story. Roy's story is what starts everything, but what sustains it is Casey Park's life.
It's worth reading.
September 12, 2023
This was good. A little long and the marketing is a bit misguided (much more about Parks’ journalistic growth and relationship to her mother than about Roy), but it’s compelling. I think Parks-as-author’s writing gets stronger as the book goes on, which nicely parallels Parks-as-character’s growing confidence in her journalism and relationship with her mother, the South, and her interest in Roy.
I’ve also never read anything like it. That may just be because I don’t read a lot of journalistic memoirs, nor have I read much about Queer life in the South. The vivid setting and hyperrealist characters will stay with me for a long time (Roy and both Rhondas in particular.) But I’ll also remember this for how it eschews hard journalism in favor of a postmodern, slow-grown, process-focused take, one which presents a more slippery representation of history, but which is more authentic to its teller.
I’ve also never read anything like it. That may just be because I don’t read a lot of journalistic memoirs, nor have I read much about Queer life in the South. The vivid setting and hyperrealist characters will stay with me for a long time (Roy and both Rhondas in particular.) But I’ll also remember this for how it eschews hard journalism in favor of a postmodern, slow-grown, process-focused take, one which presents a more slippery representation of history, but which is more authentic to its teller.
September 13, 2022
I seem to be on a roll with finding amazing books to read right now. Growing up in a Pentecostal family in rural Louisiana, Casey Parks is initially rejected by her Mom when she came out as a lesbian — and then her grandmother intervened, telling her daughter (Casey’s Mom) to get over it because she herself had grown up across the street from a “woman who lived as a man” named Roy. Casey becomes obsessed with learning about Roy’s life and embarks on a two-decade odyssey to learn as much as she can about him. Her own personal journey is woven into her investigation of Roy’s life and the searing honesty with which she writes is deeply moving. I don’t want to spoil the book for you but I can say you’ll enjoy her hunt for the truth of Roy’s life. A must-read.
March 21, 2023
So interesting and touching wow. While I can see why roys life meant so much to the author, I feel like that narrative felt a little forced at times, especially as there weren’t any huge revelations and many questions were left unanswered. Also I feel like a lot of it was parks trying to justify reading roys diaries, which is tricky because there’s really no way to know what roy wanted, no matter the intentions. Personally I would’ve been just as interested in the book without such a focus on that narrative. The parts about parks and her mother were incredibly moving and overall it was just a really enlightening book. I found it so fascinating to read about parks’ view of Portland as well, as I’ve lived here almost my entire life.
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