One by One: A Memoir of Love and Loss in the Shadows of Opioid America

by Nicholas Bush

As seen on  The Today Show A page-turning memoir from a former opioid addict in an opioid addicted community—and an up-close look at America's new health crisis. Behind closed doors, millions of people abuse opioids. Nicholas Bush was one of them. In this beautifully poignant and refreshingly honest memoir, Bush boldly allows readers into his addiction-ravaged community. We see how heroin nearly claimed his life on multiple occasions, how it stole the lives of his young siblings and friends, and how it continues to wage a deadly toll on American neighborhoods—claiming thousands of lives and decreasing the average lifespan. But we also see that there is a way off of the devastating rollercoaster of opioid addiction, even for the most afflicted. Nicholas fights for recovery, claws his way out of a criminal livelihood, and finds his footing with faith and family, providing Americans with the inspirational story that is deeply needed today.

Genres: Memoir, Drugs, Nonfiction, Biography Memoir

248 pages, Paperback

First published November 13, 2018

Reviews

[Michelle Weeks · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's a general rule that addicts tend to be self-absorbed and this was of course a memoir, which can lead towards that, but it was hard to stomach how much the author made himself a victim and rationalized/glossed over all the hurt he was causing to his family and to those he committed crimes against. I found it odd that he dedicated the book to his parents but spoke harshly against them the entire rest of the book. The book just left me feeling unsettled.

[Purrltea · Rating 2 out of 5]

This book should be called A Million and One Second Chances: A Sociopath's Memoir of White Privilege in Opioid America. Ignoring the fact that he's a subpar writer, the "character" the author paints is shallow and loathsome. There's so much blame and entitlement within these pages. Even looking back on his lifestyle from what should be the perspective of a wiser self, stories of talking his way out of arrests and charges and tickets with police seem a point of pride. Things a non-white dude would have trouble getting away with--over and over and over again. It seems like he doesn't understand how to feel empathy, and often thinks of people in terms of how they are useful to him. I kept reading, hoping he would have some epiphany about how awful he had been, but he finds Jesus and then uses the church as a way to escape his circumstances without taking full responsibility for all the pain he caused other people. For example, he supported his years of drug abuse by stealing, robbing garages and empty homes and selling pot, but the full scope of what this means is always glossed over--there's never any thought of the ones whose homes were robbed (except once, when his thieving group of friends robs another friend of his) or the people he sold drugs to. Once, a girl dies of an overdose from drugs he says were provided by his partner-in-crime, and he feels sad, but avoids responsibility because it was his friend's issue (even though he and his friend are in business together). He doesn't even consider (at least within the confines of this book) all the nameless people he sold to and stole from.

And then there's the entitlement. He casually mentions his privilege as if he's mostly unaware. His family benefits from his grandfather, a wealthy businessman. His parents force him to vacation at their beach home each summer (though he also spends much time at his aunt's beautiful home on a lake), and his parents force him to go on another family vacation that his grandfather funds each year. His grandfather buys each grandkid a brand new car when they turn 16, and he does at least acknowledge he was lucky to get one, since he wasn't close to his grandfather (as if being close with your grandparent should entitle you to a new car...). I could go on, but it's just ridiculous.

Even after he has found Jesus, he brags about how important he now is, getting pulled over by cops and getting out of speeding tickets because they tell him to "keep up the good work."

[Mike Van de Kamp · Rating 5 out of 5]

Life after death...

A truly remarkable story of a boy who became an addict and the man who is beating it. You never truly beat it...that’s the problem with addiction. Yet you can fight it as Nic is....one day at a time. Best wishes Nicholas Bush...May God hold you in the palm of his or her hand!

[Jay · Rating 1 out of 5]

yeah i don't even know

poor writing, little remorse for all the people he hurt and stole from, but i kept reading hoping for a good outcome. then it got preachy and i checked right out. the little line he put about not pushing religion doesn't mean much when that's not how it FEELS while reading the last bits of the book. and some of that stuff at the end was straight up borderline religious psychosis, i'm not even joking. yes the chaplain you spoke to is who cleared up your hep C. it was definitely divine intervention. there has NEVER EVER EVER BEEN cases before where bodies clear up hep C on their own.

also, i've always been a critic of AA for hiding its religious undertones so well from the general public. i loathe the idea of "submitting to a higher power" to help one's addiction. in this memoir, the author boasts about how he proudly had the "courage" to submit to jesus, while another member of the AA group chose a "power ranger in space" as his higher power. the author goes on to insult this member and it just really rubbed me the wrong way, because i suspect the other member simply named another deity the author doesn't believe in, and not literally a "power ranger in space". not only that, but earlier in the book he mocks the beliefs of a family he's staying with as well.

all of that combined with how this book ended felt very "christianity is the only valid religion", and "jesus is the only way to heal and recover". pissed me right off.

[Kristy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I finished the book in a couple of days. I enjoyed reading the book but some parts are hard to read... As a former pain pill addict, I didn't appreciate the author talking about getting around the new additives Purdue Pharma put in their Oxycontin. & cooking up drugs, visually describing how great it felt! He also glamorizes the thug partying lifestyle. Addiction, to me, was NEVER fun. It's been 11yrs for me & he almost made me want to get high again! Why not better describe the lying, stealing, anxiety that goes with addiction. OH I was angry about the Suboxone comment, which saved my life! I never bought or sold it & using it with/between opioids will make you sick! Sure some people might but to throw out 50% of people misuse it...Ridiculous! Also, the author has a huge ego and fails to speak of the privilege of his upbringing/ life (summer homes, vacations, cars as gifts, etc) HELLO Mr. Privileged! I understand he cannot help his upbringing, much like his abuse, put he could have mentioned it. Anyway, I dont recommend any newly sober people read this book. My only hope is Nick remains clean so his wife & daughter dont have to deal with the devil.

[BookLover · Rating 5 out of 5]

Opioid addiction is the leading health crisis in America and finally someone is stepping up to talk about it. The author holds nothing back when he shares how he became an addict and the deep despair he felt when he learned of the deaths of his sister, brother, and friends from opioid overdoses. Opioids destroyed his family. I'm so glad he's brave enough to share his story. We need to recognize the crisis and do something about it! More people's stories need to be shared. I like the brutal honesty here. He admits his mistakes and now wants to help others. That's admirable.

[Whitney · Rating 1 out of 5]

The book started out great but about half way through it took a turn. When he said the suboxone users were just trying to get high thats where he lost me. As a nurse I know that's not true and you'd think with his past he'd be a little bit more educated on that. Then by the end I was rolling my eyes because it got so preachy. Plus I find it weird how he spent the whole book saying how abusive his parents were, then dedicated the book to them??? I hope the author well on his addictions but this was not a good book.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Mediocre book about a opioid addict in Green Bay, Wisconsin who loses 2 siblings to overdoses but eventually recovers through becoming a Christian. An abusive homelife and early heavy drink and marijuana drug use puts him on a path of low expectations and criminal behavior. He was lucky to get into his 20s alive. Not very well written and has an element of blaming others for his decisions but hopefully now, he is on a good path.

[Shelley Pineo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is dearie in its honest and depth .

Great book that gave me insight into what my step son lived with. It helped me forgive him and me. I'll never understand everything but I understand more now. I'll always wish for a different ending to our story but I am better off now after reading this book.

[Emily Corke · Rating 4 out of 5]

Inspirational & honest story. You'll develop empathy for this struggling with drug usage and the pain it takes on their family. Only thing that was strange is the lack of privilege awareness. Who can afford to not work but buy drugs and food for 20 years? That was a little baffling.

[Amanda · Rating 5 out of 5]

Story of God's redemptive love. Gripping and heart wrenching.

[Dana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Sad story of a young man and his way into a world of drugs, the losses he faced and his long and difficult journey to recovery and a new life for him.

[Melissa Smith · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was okay. The author was a little bit full of himself. He talked about his youth and his family . It was a sad memoir because of the deaths and drug addiction . I also talked about his discovery of religion and how it helped him . I do believe in God but i dont believe how it can save you . He said he prayed for a wife. and then got married . That is okay if that is for you . but not my cup of tea. I read because there was a snowstorm .