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A Paper Life
At the age of ten, Tatum O'Neal was at the pinnacle of her Hollywood career, starring as a precocious sidekick in the 1973 film Paper Moon. The role won her an Oscar, making O'Neal the youngest Academy Award winner in history. By 1982, though, this angel-face was a full-blown cocaine addict, a teenage victim of depression, parental neglect, and abuse. A Paper Life recounts the actress's fragile passage through decades of adversity and personal turmoil to sobriety and spiritual peace. With astonishing candor, O'Neal discusses her destructive relationships with her father, Ryan O'Neal, her mother, Joanna Moore, and her ex-husband, tennis pro John McEnroe.
285 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 2004
About the author
Tatum O'Neal
5 books35 followersTatum Beatrice O'Neal is an American actress best known for her film work as a child actress in the 1970s. She is the youngest to win a competitive Academy Award, at the age of 10.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 281 reviews
April 23, 2013
04/2013
Maybe it's just my slant, but if ever there was a real life gothic tale, it's this one.
First raised by a speed freak ex actress mom, eight year old Tatum was put in a movie (with no training or experience) with her movie star dad, and went on to win an Academy Award for the film at age ten (still the youngest Oscar winner in history) thus incurring nothing but jealousy and anger forever from movie star dad. What followed was a messed up 1970's youth involving things like starring in The Bad News Bears (a high point). Gothic themes include her brother being involved in the death of Coppola's son, Farrah Fawcett as her stepmother, and marriage to John McEnroe, which mirrored her relationship with her lunatic control freak dad.
This book was honest and readable, and written without a ghostwriter or apparent help. I enjoyed the first half more, as I am into 70s film much more than tennis or hard drugs. But Tatum is creditable and sympathetic.
And if it helps at all to balance such a dark life, Paper Moon is a timeless classic film which will always be loved. I know I do.
Maybe it's just my slant, but if ever there was a real life gothic tale, it's this one.
First raised by a speed freak ex actress mom, eight year old Tatum was put in a movie (with no training or experience) with her movie star dad, and went on to win an Academy Award for the film at age ten (still the youngest Oscar winner in history) thus incurring nothing but jealousy and anger forever from movie star dad. What followed was a messed up 1970's youth involving things like starring in The Bad News Bears (a high point). Gothic themes include her brother being involved in the death of Coppola's son, Farrah Fawcett as her stepmother, and marriage to John McEnroe, which mirrored her relationship with her lunatic control freak dad.
This book was honest and readable, and written without a ghostwriter or apparent help. I enjoyed the first half more, as I am into 70s film much more than tennis or hard drugs. But Tatum is creditable and sympathetic.
And if it helps at all to balance such a dark life, Paper Moon is a timeless classic film which will always be loved. I know I do.
November 30, 2010
I listened to the 5CD audiobook version.
I'm not sure I've ever heard a more self-serving autobiography. Even if everything she says is true, she rarely accepts responsibility for her actions. She has very little good to say about anyone. Her Mom, Dad, ex-husband, most of her friends, etc. Everyone is trashed and caused her self-destructive behavior.
It is obvious she grew up in a situation where it would have been very difficult to avoid many of the issues she has dealt with. Still, she rarely accepts responsibility even as she gets older. And she has had drug issues since this book was released. So she still hasn't learned her lesson. One nice aspect is she was keeping a diary for most of her life to draw from. She doesn't read from it alot, but there are some times she recalls exactly how she felt at the time, which can be illuminating when compared to how one feels about that time later on.
The production is not very good. There are very obvious cuts in the reading and she stumbles on her words more than a professional voice actor would. Instead of telling her story, it is obvious she is simply reading it.
I read the autobiography of John McEnroe, her ex, a few years ago and still have it. I am going to revisit that and see what he has to say about that period. I have never had the opportunity to compare different sides of the same story thru autobiographies. I will update this when I have done that.
12/3: I went back and read the section of John McEnroe's book dealing with their relationship. Altho his book is much more a reflection on his tennis career than his personal life, he does recount alot of the same instances she does, but not in nearly as much detail. Whereas Tatum blames John for most everything, he says both were equally at fault.
I'm not sure I've ever heard a more self-serving autobiography. Even if everything she says is true, she rarely accepts responsibility for her actions. She has very little good to say about anyone. Her Mom, Dad, ex-husband, most of her friends, etc. Everyone is trashed and caused her self-destructive behavior.
It is obvious she grew up in a situation where it would have been very difficult to avoid many of the issues she has dealt with. Still, she rarely accepts responsibility even as she gets older. And she has had drug issues since this book was released. So she still hasn't learned her lesson. One nice aspect is she was keeping a diary for most of her life to draw from. She doesn't read from it alot, but there are some times she recalls exactly how she felt at the time, which can be illuminating when compared to how one feels about that time later on.
The production is not very good. There are very obvious cuts in the reading and she stumbles on her words more than a professional voice actor would. Instead of telling her story, it is obvious she is simply reading it.
I read the autobiography of John McEnroe, her ex, a few years ago and still have it. I am going to revisit that and see what he has to say about that period. I have never had the opportunity to compare different sides of the same story thru autobiographies. I will update this when I have done that.
12/3: I went back and read the section of John McEnroe's book dealing with their relationship. Altho his book is much more a reflection on his tennis career than his personal life, he does recount alot of the same instances she does, but not in nearly as much detail. Whereas Tatum blames John for most everything, he says both were equally at fault.
July 15, 2018
Growing up, Little Darlings was one of my favorite movies and I'd look forward to watching it whenever it came on TV. I was really excited to read this and I was not disappointed. I could not put this book down. I'm surprised at how Tatum has survived all the bad things she went through in her childhood with such an abusive father and so many irresponsible adults around her. Man, what a jerk Ryan was and is based on some of the interviews I've seen of his. I don't believe Tatum is lying about the abuse that went on and frankly I don't get when people have accused her of playing the victim in some of the reviews I read. How is a child responsible for the parents actions and expected to take her part in the blame of the dynamics in that relationship?
This is everything bad sex, drugs, and Hollywood that you'd expect. My one complaint is that we didn't get enough story on her relationship with Farrah. It was somewhat brushed over. I would have also wanted to see more glimpses on her relationship with her brothers Griffin and Redmond. And I did feel a little cheated out on hearing about her experience on filming Little Darlings. I loved that movie and it was barely brought up. I was so looking forward to reading about that.
Overall, this was one of my favorite memoirs to read. There were lots of jaw-dropping moments in the book that I wish I could have included here, but to get an idea of some, see some of my updates I added as I read this.
This is everything bad sex, drugs, and Hollywood that you'd expect. My one complaint is that we didn't get enough story on her relationship with Farrah. It was somewhat brushed over. I would have also wanted to see more glimpses on her relationship with her brothers Griffin and Redmond. And I did feel a little cheated out on hearing about her experience on filming Little Darlings. I loved that movie and it was barely brought up. I was so looking forward to reading about that.
Overall, this was one of my favorite memoirs to read. There were lots of jaw-dropping moments in the book that I wish I could have included here, but to get an idea of some, see some of my updates I added as I read this.
November 11, 2008
This book was ok. I knew Ryan ONeal was an A-hole however this book confirmed that he in fact was the biggest A-hole ever. Tatum ONeal had a rough life but you know what so did alot of other people. I feel that she could have done alot more personal reflextion instead of so much whoa is me. Life is a bitch Tatum...we have already established that. What we want to hear is what you learned from your bitch of a life and what people can take from those lessons to improve their own lives. But maybe that is just me....
January 19, 2011
Anyone who knows me well knows my love of Tatum O'Neal. Her role in the "The Bad News Bears" was everything I wanted to be, but wasn't, as a child--tough, brazen, independent, athletic. Then, in real life, Tatum married my all-time favorite tennis player, John McEnroe (I may have crushed on Boris Becker and Mats Wilander then, but do I have either of their pictures on my refrigerator now? I do not. McEnroe? Yes.).
Her memoir is a juicy gossip-fest. Angelica Huston would drive her to riding practice (for "International Velvet"), but was usually so stoned she got lost. Melanie Griffith, then 18 and idolized by Tatum, had a three-way with Ryan O'Neal and a stranger while in France. Diana Ross loved Ryan, but he was such a jerk she had to leave him. And Ryan O'Neal is such a son of a bitch. I can not believe that Tatum has made nice with him, and that they are soon to star in a reality show on the Oprah Winfrey Network (and you know I'll be watching). Both of Tatum's parents were useless in that regard, and she and brother Griffin (whose teeth Ryan famously knocked out) were not "raised" by them at all, but left to fend for themselves as feral animals, practically.
This book, written in 2004, needs an update. So much has happened since then--her great turn on the F/X series "Rescue Me" (as Denis Leary's character's sister, Maggie), her 2008 crack arrest, "Dancing With the Stars," Farrah's death, and Tatum's subsequent one-millionth reconciliation with Ryan. I need more! I hear she's might be writing a sequel soon; I look forward to it.
Her memoir is a juicy gossip-fest. Angelica Huston would drive her to riding practice (for "International Velvet"), but was usually so stoned she got lost. Melanie Griffith, then 18 and idolized by Tatum, had a three-way with Ryan O'Neal and a stranger while in France. Diana Ross loved Ryan, but he was such a jerk she had to leave him. And Ryan O'Neal is such a son of a bitch. I can not believe that Tatum has made nice with him, and that they are soon to star in a reality show on the Oprah Winfrey Network (and you know I'll be watching). Both of Tatum's parents were useless in that regard, and she and brother Griffin (whose teeth Ryan famously knocked out) were not "raised" by them at all, but left to fend for themselves as feral animals, practically.
This book, written in 2004, needs an update. So much has happened since then--her great turn on the F/X series "Rescue Me" (as Denis Leary's character's sister, Maggie), her 2008 crack arrest, "Dancing With the Stars," Farrah's death, and Tatum's subsequent one-millionth reconciliation with Ryan. I need more! I hear she's might be writing a sequel soon; I look forward to it.
August 29, 2014
Ryan O'Neal is a bastard. He and Tatum's mother shouldn't have had a gerbil, much less a child. Ryan rescued her from the feral existence she had with her mother, and for a while they had a warm, loving relationship. Then she out-shined him in Paper Moon and became the youngest Oscar winner in history. He has never forgiven her for that moment of glory and has been punishing her brutally ever since. I've read about a lot of crappy celebrity parenting, but I think this takes the cake. At one point in the book he claims to have been a good father to Tatum because he never slept with her. News flash Ryan, not boning your daughter is considered the default setting in the real world, not an achievement to be congratulated. However, that assertion led me to compare him with another abysmal father, John Phillips. Both men neglected their daughters and encouraged their drug use, and John Phillips actually did sleep with his daughter, if Mackenzie is to be believed, but he did not continually rain verbal and physical abuse upon her.It's kind of a toss up, and that's really sad. I spent a lot of the book just wanting to hug her, and the rest of it wanting to smack her. John McEnroe? Why don't you just marry your father? I guess if abuse is all you know, it's what you gravitate toward. She has never had a single family member she could count on for love and support. She should really be bigger mess than she is, but it appears that motherhood has been her salvation. She is determined to break the "O'Neal Curse" with her own children. I need to read her second book to see how that's going.
August 13, 2012
Tatum's story brought tears to my eyes. Many do not believe the horrendous events that took place in her life at the hands of her father, Ryan O'neal and her husband, John McEnroe. But she is believable. She spares not even herself, going on to tell the reader many embarrassing accounts of the things she did as a child, wife, and mother. If she was lying, then why bother to display her own embarrassing faults and poor decisions.
I understand that she still has problems at times with drugs. But her moral compass was intact, only yielding to drugs to take away her pain. She took the high road when all others around her did everything in their power to make her fail. Her story of survival is amazing and inspiring.
I understand that she still has problems at times with drugs. But her moral compass was intact, only yielding to drugs to take away her pain. She took the high road when all others around her did everything in their power to make her fail. Her story of survival is amazing and inspiring.
December 13, 2009
I thought Ryan O'neal and Farrah Fawcett were shallow humans before I read
this book ....but was surprised how they only thought of themselves their
entire lives....but the proof of that life is their incarcerated son
Redmond
this book ....but was surprised how they only thought of themselves their
entire lives....but the proof of that life is their incarcerated son
Redmond
January 17, 2016
This is one of those need to stop reading because it is making my blood boil but can't because it is just to juicy kind of books. Her father was not a father, he was just another sperm donor with a fake smile and a cheap line of BS.
March 29, 2012
My heart went out to Tatum O'Neal while reading this. She came from a broken home and pretty much grew up without someone who had her back. Her father was verbally abusive (I hated him while reading this) and she went on to marry John McEnroe who was verbally abusive. One thing I learned while reading this is that Ryan O'neal and Diana Ross dated, never knew that. Tatum also spills some juicy celebrity tea one being about Melanie Griffith. Tatum went into detail about her drug use and her road to recovery. A real solid read that kept me rooting for her and shaking my head at some of the people in her life.
August 21, 2011
The story is horrific and heartbreaking and paints a terrible picture of some well-known Hollywood stars. One definitely feels for her, but as so many celebrity autobiographies are, this one is so full of name dropping and playing the victim game that it buries what I think is the true story: how an abused little girl learns how to be a mother. A little less "this is who owned this mega mansion before us" and a little more introspection please.
July 9, 2019
Brutally honest, Tatum O’Neal holds back nothing regarding her famous dad and the Hollywood circle she grew up in. From her sad childhood, drug abuse, broken marriage and love of her children, Tatum takes you through it all.
March 5, 2012
She grew up among the most famous Hollywood stars. She had a handsome movie actor father and a beautiful mother who had been an actress. She was a cute and spunky little girl who won an Oscar at age nine, the youngest ever to win the award. Tatum O'Neal's real life was far from ideal. Her mother had a zest for life but was also a drug addict. Her father was tyrannical and abusive. It's so sad to see that the children of the rich, famous and successful can be so badly neglected and abused in life.
Tatum was much like the sassy little character she played in Paper Moon. She was a scrappy, wild child, left to her own devices too often. In one part of the book they said she had never been to a dentist until she was nine. They promised her that she wouldn't get a shot but she had so many cavities she needed Novocaine. She bit and kicked the dentist where it hurts. The shot was one kind of hurt but another longer lasting more serious hurt had been inflicted on Tatum throughout her life.
Tatum's childhood seemed a long unending nightmare. She idolized her father but he seemed resentful of her and reminded her in unkind ways that he 'made her'. He ridiculed and belittled his precious daughter and never provided a stable or loving environment for her even though she considered living with him a rescue from the mother she always loved.
Party people shouldn't have children as is well illustrated in this book. Tatum grew up in the 70's in a highly charged sexual environment where drugs ran rampant. I think much of her father's problems with anger may have also been a result of drug use, though she never said so. Tatum, her brother Griffin and half brothers Patrick and Redmond all suffered at the hands of Ryan O'Neal who had choir boy good looks but a temper to be reckoned with.
I admire Tatum's honesty and integrity which always showed through even in her darkest times, her motives were true and good. She did an excellent job on the book chronicling the story of her life and her climb back out of despair. Though many famous names are mentioned here, she stayed to the point and was tactful in the disclosure of information.
Tatum seems like a genuine, caring and passionate person. To overcome the obstacles she did is truly amazing. She's a beautiful woman and I hope she finds more of the acting success she deserves at this time of her life.
Tatum was much like the sassy little character she played in Paper Moon. She was a scrappy, wild child, left to her own devices too often. In one part of the book they said she had never been to a dentist until she was nine. They promised her that she wouldn't get a shot but she had so many cavities she needed Novocaine. She bit and kicked the dentist where it hurts. The shot was one kind of hurt but another longer lasting more serious hurt had been inflicted on Tatum throughout her life.
Tatum's childhood seemed a long unending nightmare. She idolized her father but he seemed resentful of her and reminded her in unkind ways that he 'made her'. He ridiculed and belittled his precious daughter and never provided a stable or loving environment for her even though she considered living with him a rescue from the mother she always loved.
Party people shouldn't have children as is well illustrated in this book. Tatum grew up in the 70's in a highly charged sexual environment where drugs ran rampant. I think much of her father's problems with anger may have also been a result of drug use, though she never said so. Tatum, her brother Griffin and half brothers Patrick and Redmond all suffered at the hands of Ryan O'Neal who had choir boy good looks but a temper to be reckoned with.
I admire Tatum's honesty and integrity which always showed through even in her darkest times, her motives were true and good. She did an excellent job on the book chronicling the story of her life and her climb back out of despair. Though many famous names are mentioned here, she stayed to the point and was tactful in the disclosure of information.
Tatum seems like a genuine, caring and passionate person. To overcome the obstacles she did is truly amazing. She's a beautiful woman and I hope she finds more of the acting success she deserves at this time of her life.
June 14, 2013
What a story. A PAPER LIFE by actress Tatum O'Neal is a fascinating read. How many times have we all been bit by the jealousy bug only to learn our lesson, because things aren't always what they seem?
Everyday on TV screens and magazines we are bombarded with images of celebrity life, and how great it is to live that way, but how do we know what really torments and haunts these people?
In O'Neal's tell-all autobiography we get an elicit view on this famous actresses troubled past. From her abusive father, to her neglegent drug-addicted mother who left her and her young brother locked in a bathroom, somedays forced to eat dog food.
My heart broke for the young girl who craved attention, and a normal life despite all the fame she received after becoming the very first child to win an Oscar at a very young age.
Its no holds barred as she also spewed out and confessed to her own drug problem, as well as the abuse she suffered at the hands of her then husband, tennis player John McEnroe.
There's also plenty of celebrity name dropping, so detailed that I would not be surprised if she ended up on the "Most Hated" list, as she speaks of renowened actors, actresses, musicians, comedians from days of old, to now. Overall, a pretty gripping read.
Everyday on TV screens and magazines we are bombarded with images of celebrity life, and how great it is to live that way, but how do we know what really torments and haunts these people?
In O'Neal's tell-all autobiography we get an elicit view on this famous actresses troubled past. From her abusive father, to her neglegent drug-addicted mother who left her and her young brother locked in a bathroom, somedays forced to eat dog food.
My heart broke for the young girl who craved attention, and a normal life despite all the fame she received after becoming the very first child to win an Oscar at a very young age.
Its no holds barred as she also spewed out and confessed to her own drug problem, as well as the abuse she suffered at the hands of her then husband, tennis player John McEnroe.
There's also plenty of celebrity name dropping, so detailed that I would not be surprised if she ended up on the "Most Hated" list, as she speaks of renowened actors, actresses, musicians, comedians from days of old, to now. Overall, a pretty gripping read.
April 6, 2019
A Paper Life by Tatum O'Neal is definitely a page turner. Tatum openly talks about her family relationships--her actress mother, Joanna Moore, a troubled woman who relied on alcohol & various medications to keep her demons away, her many siblings and her marriage to John McEnroe (yes, the ranting, obnoxious "bad boy" of tennis), along with hearty partying that (not surprisingly) often ended up with multiple one-night stands. She saves her harshest criticism for her father, Ryan O'Neal. Tatum's main issue with Ryan is his unrelenting jealousy and constant belittling of her talent, her intelligence--in short, basically in everything she does. He also was jealous of Tatum's Academy Award for Paper Moon (in which Ryan also starred) and, in general, bullied & belittled her as often as possible...often in front of others. I found her narrative credible and I never felt she was exaggerating; also, that she wanted no pity. Tatum O'Neal delivered her story in a rational, calm way that engaged me from the start. It also reminded me to appreciate the parents who raised me.
July 18, 2011
A painfully honest story of a little girl that grew up abused and neglected who grew into a lost, drug addicted woman and mother. Tatum O'Neal had famous parents, an Oscar-winning movie role and ran with A-list Hollywood friends but all she wanted was love, to belong and to be protected. But this story is more than just the poor little rich girl she gets raw, emotional, and real about what went wrong and the mistakes she made. Parts of the book are hard to read, but I believe she is as transparent and honest as she can be about her story. Tatum isn't asking for pity but rather an understanding of where she is and how she got there. She was trying to put her life back together so she could be the mother she never had. She wanted her kids to have a better life and is on the road to finding herself.
June 17, 2022
I read this the first time when it came out in 2004 but on a re-read I was surprised by much I had remembered. I mean, it's memorable. If Hayley Mill's autobiography was a little too tame, this is the cure, it will have your hair standing on end. (She did write a follow up, which I have not read.)
Too bad Ryan O'Neal ended up tanking his own career by being such a jerk; These-Kids-Today probably have no idea what a big star he was for a time. (My sister had a Ryan O'Neal poster on her closet door, little did we know....)
Too bad Ryan O'Neal ended up tanking his own career by being such a jerk; These-Kids-Today probably have no idea what a big star he was for a time. (My sister had a Ryan O'Neal poster on her closet door, little did we know....)
October 29, 2022
A harrowing life story reminiscent of Mackenzie Phillips memoir but with less self-reflection. I remain endlessly fascinated by this under-parented/under-protected generation of Hollywood. I would be so curious to know what this book would be like had she written it now. Probably would have been awesome.
November 23, 2024
In the film 'Paper Moon' Tatum O'neal portrayed Addie Pray, the toughest kid in depression era America. After reading 'A Paper Life' it turns out that she is probably the toughest actress that Hollywood has ever produced. Tatum, I salute you!!!
October 24, 2025
Interesting book. I started out feeling so bad for her - she was truly horrifically abused as a child and teen. But then, somehow, she just never seemed to learn a lesson. Very “woe is me” while making poor choice after poor choice. I wish her the best though.
July 7, 2026
No llega al nivel de profundidad y análisis social e histórico de, por ejemplo, las memorias de Jane Fonda, pero basándome en la cantidad de escándalos, la sinceridad incluso en sus partes humillantes y el name dropping de primera, le pongo cinco estrellas como cinco soles.
August 21, 2019
I imagine it must be nice to go through life blaming others for everything.
December 23, 2021
What a read! A rollercoaster of a life with huge highs and lows. Extremely well written and a revelation on every page. Not to give it all away but her dad Ryan was a narcissist ass. To say it kindly. Her whole family were a messed up bunch with no support growing up. Amazing that she made it through at all. A truly interesting life to say the least.
April 6, 2021
It was hard to get into this book because the writing style was a bit juvenile but when she started name dropping, I was hooked!
May 31, 2022
Guess i've led a sheltered life.
July 4, 2019
Far better than I expected it to be. Good read.
February 9, 2025
A Paper Life by Tatum O’Neal (Harper Entertainment 2004) (Biography) (4022).
As soon as I get through writing this review of Tatum O’Neal’s first autobiography A Paper Life (2004) which was written when O’Neal was 40 years old, I’m going to begin reading her second (ghostwritten) autobiography Found: A Daughter’s Journey Home (2011) which was published when O’Neal was 47. Before cracking open the second book, I can say this with absolute certainty: One can only pray that O’Neal finally developed some self-awareness and insight, for she was totally devoid of any when she wrote A Paper Life.
A Paper Life convinced me that Tatum O’Neal drew the short straw when it came to her own parents. If Tatum’s childhood stories are to be believed (and whether her “truths” should be believed is an open question based on the word of her inncer circle), the child Tatum O’Neal never had a chance. She portrays her mother as a full time speed-addicted alcoholic and her father as a whorish bully without a loyal bone in his body.
That may be completely true, but the dumpster fire that Tatum’s life had become by the end of A Paper Life can’t possibly be completely blamed on outside influences and forces. Nevertheless that is what the author asserts is the truth and what she asks readers to believe.
O’Neal is dismissive of the thought that she played any part in wrecking her own life. She imagines herself as a virtuous heroine surrounded on all sides by dastardly villains. Here’s a quote from a review of a 1993 trashy “made for television” film called A Woman on the Run in which she played a female police officer who murdered a romantic rival. O’Neal quotes from an unnamed review to support the proposition that she (Tatum) is the same type of victim as the murderer: “Tatum O’Neal’s performance in the title role steadily conveyed the impression of a virtuous woman undone by diabolical men.” (p.233). In other words, “a victim.” Even more galling, O’Neal adds this prescient thought: “I felt a certain resonance with the story of a tough determined female underdog.” (p. 232).
That’s lunacy. It’s also almost as incredible as O’Neal trying to capture some credit for her ex-husband’s successful tennis career. (He was the number-one-ranked player in the world before they knew each other.) Poor Tatum felt victimized by the fact that she didn’t receive sufficient credit for the career that her spouse had built before they had even met.
A Paper Life concludes with the author having been through at least four bouts of drug rehab after becoming a hard-core IV-heroin addict. After O’Neal's husband filed for divorce, the parties had reached a workable child custody arrangement where the three children alternated two-week stays between households. This arrangement worked for a time, but O’Neal completely lost custody of her three young children after her seven year old daughter found mommy’s drug syringe in her bedroom and told her father about what she had seen. After this, the courts allowed O’Neal to have only supervised visitation with the children, and the visits were contingent upon O’Neal producing clean urine specimens. O’Neal’s response was, in essence, “Everybody is so mean to poor poor poor ME-ME-ME…” (p.260-61).
To sum up, at the end of A Paper Life, forty-year-old Tatum O’Neal was estranged from her parents, her siblings, the father of her children, and Hollywood. Her relationship with her children had to have been rocky at best. One would think - or at least assume - that Tatum O’Neal had learned her lesson, or at least “a” lesson.
Had Tatum O’Neal - poor, poor little victim - learned a lesson and turned over a new leaf? That’s what I hope to learn from her second autobiography Found: A Daughter’s Journey Home. I am not optimistic that she learned much, for here is a quote from O’Neal as she tried to distance herself from her prior calamities: “I’d felt victimized because of my guilt over using drugs…” (p.275).
There’s that word again. Poor poor little victim!
Yeesh.
My rating: 7/10, finished 2/25 (4022).
July 6, 2024
STORY ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️+ PERFORMANCE ⭐️⭐️⭐️-
I knew that Tatum was an addict, but I was surprised to learn that she was an outright junkie. It’s no surprise, given her parents. Her siblings faired no better than she. After the abuse and neglect by both parents, plus by their parents partners after their divorce (and including Farrah Fawcett), it’s surprising any of the offspring are still alive and functioning. The fact that in retrospect, but not in this book, she says about John McEnroe, “ I was loved, I was cared for… That’s it, that’s what one wants, isn’t it, in a marriage? I’ve never met anyone who even comes close to my ex-husband,” is very sad and after much therapy, still telling of the damage she sustained. He was a narcissistic mentally and physically abusive powder keg, yet she still thinks that’s what she deserves.
I knew that Tatum was an addict, but I was surprised to learn that she was an outright junkie. It’s no surprise, given her parents. Her siblings faired no better than she. After the abuse and neglect by both parents, plus by their parents partners after their divorce (and including Farrah Fawcett), it’s surprising any of the offspring are still alive and functioning. The fact that in retrospect, but not in this book, she says about John McEnroe, “ I was loved, I was cared for… That’s it, that’s what one wants, isn’t it, in a marriage? I’ve never met anyone who even comes close to my ex-husband,” is very sad and after much therapy, still telling of the damage she sustained. He was a narcissistic mentally and physically abusive powder keg, yet she still thinks that’s what she deserves.
July 10, 2021
O'Neal had an interesting life, even assuming only half the stories in this book are true, and this is a quick read, basically a chronological journey through her early career successes and long personal decline. That said, it's not well-written and it's ultimately very flat and forgettable.
O'Neal's life, in her telling, portrays her as a victim of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse from various parties (her parents, her grandparents, her parents' various friends and significant others, and her ex-husband John McEnroe) starting in her childhood and continuing until the end of the book. The details of the abuse are heartbreaking, but told at a distance, almost as though O'Neal is unable to look closely at the violations she experienced.
Moreover, O'Neal never takes responsibility for any choices she made. I'm not talking about the abuse she suffered as a kid -- but as an adult, she always sees herself as a victim of McEnroe and others. She even blames McEnroe for having her drug tested during the period she was an active drug user and shared custody of her minor children. I don't think McEnroe was a prize and I wouldn't want to marry him, but as a parent, he seemed more consistent and more stable than O'Neal, which she only halfheartedly acknowledges. O'Neal also continually returns again and again and AGAIN to her abusive parents, always expecting a different result, which never comes. (I have no doubt this pattern is continuing to this day.) After a while, the only obvious conclusion is that O'Neal is either unable to stop allowing herself to be victimized or at the very least, she can't portray herself as anything but a victim.
I think the book is ultimately a failure because O'Neal doesn't seem to have examined her life, or thought about how to express what she went through in an evocative or meaningful way. It's possible to write an interesting autobiography about even the most mundane life, and it's also possible to make a fascinating life seem dull, based on the level of the writing. This book is an example of the latter category. In a more gifted writer's hands, if O'Neal had reflected more deeply, this would have been a much better book.
O'Neal's life, in her telling, portrays her as a victim of physical, emotional, sexual, and psychological abuse from various parties (her parents, her grandparents, her parents' various friends and significant others, and her ex-husband John McEnroe) starting in her childhood and continuing until the end of the book. The details of the abuse are heartbreaking, but told at a distance, almost as though O'Neal is unable to look closely at the violations she experienced.
Moreover, O'Neal never takes responsibility for any choices she made. I'm not talking about the abuse she suffered as a kid -- but as an adult, she always sees herself as a victim of McEnroe and others. She even blames McEnroe for having her drug tested during the period she was an active drug user and shared custody of her minor children. I don't think McEnroe was a prize and I wouldn't want to marry him, but as a parent, he seemed more consistent and more stable than O'Neal, which she only halfheartedly acknowledges. O'Neal also continually returns again and again and AGAIN to her abusive parents, always expecting a different result, which never comes. (I have no doubt this pattern is continuing to this day.) After a while, the only obvious conclusion is that O'Neal is either unable to stop allowing herself to be victimized or at the very least, she can't portray herself as anything but a victim.
I think the book is ultimately a failure because O'Neal doesn't seem to have examined her life, or thought about how to express what she went through in an evocative or meaningful way. It's possible to write an interesting autobiography about even the most mundane life, and it's also possible to make a fascinating life seem dull, based on the level of the writing. This book is an example of the latter category. In a more gifted writer's hands, if O'Neal had reflected more deeply, this would have been a much better book.
February 21, 2012
Tatum O'Neal's autobiography is shocking, tragic, and makes exciting reading. In the first part, about growing up with two of the most demonic parents ever, I couldn't turn the pages fast enough to see what horrible event would befall little Tatum next - would it be a beating, sexual abuse, or doing drugs with her father? In the next section, about her marriage to tennis bad-boy, John McEnroe, she played the martyr and devoted mother. This was the most frustrating because she allowed her children to grow up in a miserable family just like she did. The last part focused on her many drug relapses; here she painted a picture of the helpless victim, powerless to stop smoking, snorting, or shooting. It disgusted me.
Here, she tells in graphic detail what it's like to be an Oscar-winner at age ten and grow up as Ryan O'Neal's child in a world of money, drugs, and brutality. Not a page goes by that she isn't suffering at her own hands or someone else's. Who knows how much of it is true? This is indeed a jaw-dropping, eye-popping memoir.
Here, she tells in graphic detail what it's like to be an Oscar-winner at age ten and grow up as Ryan O'Neal's child in a world of money, drugs, and brutality. Not a page goes by that she isn't suffering at her own hands or someone else's. Who knows how much of it is true? This is indeed a jaw-dropping, eye-popping memoir.
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