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IN SEARCH: Living without Love - The Real Truth About Men and Their Relationships
In Living without Love is a explicit, personal, honest perspective about what makes men tick when it comes to sex and the opposite sex.
- GenresSelf Help
271 pages, Paperback
First published August 1, 1992
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Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews
September 25, 2018
Specifically written, targeted, and geared solely for the consumption of Black-American men. Don Spear’s highlights the angst, often unspoken nuances, and overall mental exhaustion associated with being a man of African-American descent; striving to exist in a country that has both benefited from their exploitation, and garnered entertainment from their carnage. In Search of Good Pussy: Living Without Love, is not for the faint of heart; imploring harsh testaments, biting language, and general Barbershop satire to paint a vivid picture. Spear’s lays out the importance for young men to always retain a sense of awareness, and never to allow oneself to get bogged down with feelings of victimology, blind-rage, emotionalism, or inadequacy. Good Pussy, according to Spears, is anything that drives you wild, whether it be a young lady, a car, a certain job or lifestyle, or even a drug. The eternal quest to claim “Good Pussy” can either aid a man in claiming his righteous destiny, or drive him into a drug crazed stupor, insanity, prison, death, or worst; marriage to a woman hell bent on tearing down your peace of mind.
Don Spear’s writes in a tone that is akin to a wise-uncle who has bedded more women than the average professional sports hero, yet was sharp enough to dodge the hassle of child-support and homicidal rage associated with modern day matrimony. This is not at all a book for women, and will easily be viewed as crass, sexiest, and a host of other euphemisms that indeed make it a worthwhile read. Unlike the overly saturated majority of self-help books, targeted to women and the simp’s trying to appease those women, Spear’s has produced a book intended to aid young Black men in navigated the warped reality that is the modern day dating scene. This is a worthwhile read for its target audience, although fans of titan’s such as Tom Leykis, comedian Patrice O’neal whose shortly lived “the Black Phillip Show” has attained cult like status, and general MGTOW advocates, will also garner enough wisdom to aid them, despite their racial demographic.
Don Spear’s writes in a tone that is akin to a wise-uncle who has bedded more women than the average professional sports hero, yet was sharp enough to dodge the hassle of child-support and homicidal rage associated with modern day matrimony. This is not at all a book for women, and will easily be viewed as crass, sexiest, and a host of other euphemisms that indeed make it a worthwhile read. Unlike the overly saturated majority of self-help books, targeted to women and the simp’s trying to appease those women, Spear’s has produced a book intended to aid young Black men in navigated the warped reality that is the modern day dating scene. This is a worthwhile read for its target audience, although fans of titan’s such as Tom Leykis, comedian Patrice O’neal whose shortly lived “the Black Phillip Show” has attained cult like status, and general MGTOW advocates, will also garner enough wisdom to aid them, despite their racial demographic.
May 1, 2019
it's easy to be misled by the title, and, while some of his observations about sexuality and gender do seem dated, towards the end (and throughout the book, as well) he speaks some real truth about the situation of African Americans that feel as true today as they did in the early 90s when he wrote this.
April 25, 2020
This was a very good book detailing the problems facing the black man and how it is that he has ended up in the position he is in. The title is a bit misleading- but accurate in how he describes 'goodpussy'- I was not intending to rate this book highly, but I am glad to have been proven wrong...definitely worth reading 2x!!!!
July 25, 2021
A book by a self proclaimed "man of leisure". I read this because David Cross used to read it onstage in his act and it was funny when he performed it. Overall it is amusing in doses as something to goof on with your friends.
April 12, 2012
haha we totally found this at the bargain barn and had it in our house on laurel street in santa cruz for years.
priceless bullshit
priceless bullshit
April 7, 2021
Read this book back when it was released back in 1992.i enjoyed the the book however, I am interested in re-reading it now especially due to our ever changing social dynamics and community interactions
July 30, 2021
Awesome read
January 28, 2014
This self-help books attempts to explain the trouble African-American men face in intimate relationships due to their unique history, psychology, and social situation. Don Spears, a former celebrity of the New Orleans nightclub circuit, states in the Preface that only a black man can truly explain how a black man feels. Certainly a white person can't and neither can a black woman. Fair enough. He goes on to explain his theory of Goodpussy, a "unisexual term" that is "neither sexist nor demeaning...a 'new age' word that reflects and engenders a higher level or awareness" (2) suggesting the very height of happiness. If you find yourself questioning whether or not its possible for a man to a reclaim derogatory word for a woman, don't worry. You're not the only one. Anyway, African-American men are constantly in search of their Goodpussy, but because of an active nationwide conspiracy by white men (my summation) and the very specific behaviors of post-Lib black women (his claim), they will never find it.
The precise reasons why are spelled out in 43 vague, pseudo-psychological, rambling discussions peppered with insane declamations, about one every other paragraph, that are bold and CAPITALIZED. Topics include the vital importance of penis size (Chapter 30), the white conspiracy to destroy black men by giving them cocaine and AIDS (Chapter 38), the eventual reintroduction of black slavery in North America when the Japanese take over (Chapter 39), and those out-of-control black women who like go out with their wicked girlfriends (Chapter 12) on the weekend (Chapter 11). Juxtaposed alongside conservative moralizing on traditional family values are very frank, explicit discussions of non-missionary, casual sex, which explains the rampant misogyny (sometimes, it permitted to beat your uppity wife (Chapter 14)) but not so much the warm acceptance of homosexuality (Chapters 27 & 28). Really, the only actual self-help advice in the book is a tutorial (if you will) on how to give yourself a hand job (152). If that doesn't give you a headache, the text itself is full of flagrant contradictions - sometimes within the same paragraph - that are so obvious to the reader that one wonders how the author doesn't immediately see them himself.
As difficult as the reading may be, it isn't what makes this book so strange. The bizarre flavoring comes from Spears' frequent and very serious use of the word 'Goodpussy'. We all know what "good pussy" is and we all snickered when we used it as little kids, because it was a lewd, vulgar phrase that referenced secret, filthy things that grown-ups did in the dark. Even as adults we don't use it in polite conversation, much less in a serious discussion, because it's a nasty, sexy phrase. Hehehe. So it's near impossible to take seriously anything being said when 'Goodpussy' pops up. A non-nonsense chapter on AIDS, for instance, ends by stating, "...Goodpussy is about not making the wrong move" (170). Or, "REMEMBER, LIFE IS A TWO-WAY STREET...Goodpussy is carefully watching your step and making sure you're not fatally run over by something you can't possibly handle" (124). And a real head-scratcher: "Goodpussy then, [sic] becomes your final reward as you are placed in a solitary coffin in a lonely cemetery, lowered into dear mother earth and covered with dirt, hopefully to once again share communion with your maker" (31). Whether or not you agree with Spears, I do think you need to actively turn off some of your social conditioning in order not to laugh your ass off (another reviewer described this book as "hilarious bullshit") or drown in a bottomless lake of perplexity whenever the term 'Goodpussy' is used. As an experiment, just try using 'Goodpussy' in casual conversation when talking about your plans and hopes for the future and see what happens.
This book is an oddball on many levels. It takes contradictory stances on all kinds of subjects; makes bizarre, insubstantial claims; and is completely ignorant when comes to women as social beings (if not as sex objects). But it's that word 'Goodpussy' - noun, one word, capitalized as other nouns in English are not - that makes In Search of Goodpussy incredibly strange. Flip through a copy when it comes your way. You'll be confused as hell, but not disappointed.
The precise reasons why are spelled out in 43 vague, pseudo-psychological, rambling discussions peppered with insane declamations, about one every other paragraph, that are bold and CAPITALIZED. Topics include the vital importance of penis size (Chapter 30), the white conspiracy to destroy black men by giving them cocaine and AIDS (Chapter 38), the eventual reintroduction of black slavery in North America when the Japanese take over (Chapter 39), and those out-of-control black women who like go out with their wicked girlfriends (Chapter 12) on the weekend (Chapter 11). Juxtaposed alongside conservative moralizing on traditional family values are very frank, explicit discussions of non-missionary, casual sex, which explains the rampant misogyny (sometimes, it permitted to beat your uppity wife (Chapter 14)) but not so much the warm acceptance of homosexuality (Chapters 27 & 28). Really, the only actual self-help advice in the book is a tutorial (if you will) on how to give yourself a hand job (152). If that doesn't give you a headache, the text itself is full of flagrant contradictions - sometimes within the same paragraph - that are so obvious to the reader that one wonders how the author doesn't immediately see them himself.
As difficult as the reading may be, it isn't what makes this book so strange. The bizarre flavoring comes from Spears' frequent and very serious use of the word 'Goodpussy'. We all know what "good pussy" is and we all snickered when we used it as little kids, because it was a lewd, vulgar phrase that referenced secret, filthy things that grown-ups did in the dark. Even as adults we don't use it in polite conversation, much less in a serious discussion, because it's a nasty, sexy phrase. Hehehe. So it's near impossible to take seriously anything being said when 'Goodpussy' pops up. A non-nonsense chapter on AIDS, for instance, ends by stating, "...Goodpussy is about not making the wrong move" (170). Or, "REMEMBER, LIFE IS A TWO-WAY STREET...Goodpussy is carefully watching your step and making sure you're not fatally run over by something you can't possibly handle" (124). And a real head-scratcher: "Goodpussy then, [sic] becomes your final reward as you are placed in a solitary coffin in a lonely cemetery, lowered into dear mother earth and covered with dirt, hopefully to once again share communion with your maker" (31). Whether or not you agree with Spears, I do think you need to actively turn off some of your social conditioning in order not to laugh your ass off (another reviewer described this book as "hilarious bullshit") or drown in a bottomless lake of perplexity whenever the term 'Goodpussy' is used. As an experiment, just try using 'Goodpussy' in casual conversation when talking about your plans and hopes for the future and see what happens.
This book is an oddball on many levels. It takes contradictory stances on all kinds of subjects; makes bizarre, insubstantial claims; and is completely ignorant when comes to women as social beings (if not as sex objects). But it's that word 'Goodpussy' - noun, one word, capitalized as other nouns in English are not - that makes In Search of Goodpussy incredibly strange. Flip through a copy when it comes your way. You'll be confused as hell, but not disappointed.
May 7, 2007
In Search of Good pussy: Living without Love. Gives wonderful insight into the concerns and anxieties that most African Americans go through on a day to day basis. This book forces the reader to step outside of oneself and face the black experience head on.
Read
May 13, 2010The truth.
January 14, 2016
Deliciously stupid, found it on Amazon for cheap, David Cross' bit in which he narrates a few choice passages has me in stitches.
February 3, 2016
This book is unlike anything that you would expect from the title!
Displaying 1 - 12 of 12 reviews