Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family through Foster Care

by Tori Hope Petersen

If you’re wondering if God can truly move in the life of someone with all the odds stacked against her, look no further than Tori Hope Petersen.

Tori grew up in the foster care system, a bi-racial child in a confusing and volatile world. Growing up with a mentally ill mother and living in twelve different foster homes, nothing was in her favor. And yet, even with a minuscule chance of graduating college and a great risk of being homeless, jobless, and on drugs, Tori overcame every negative stereotype and assumption that attacked her identity. 

However, Tori will tell you she did not overcome. Christ did. In the face of the storm, Jesus made a way for Tori to find profound hope, deep faith, renewed purpose, and a loving family, too. After so many years of being on one side of foster care as a child, Tori is now on the other side as a foster mom, adoptive mom, and biological mom. On top of that, she became a Track and Field All-American in college and now works with nonprofits, ministries, and beyond advocating for foster care reform, adoption advocacy, and help for vulnerable populations.

If you want to hear the true tale of an unlikely overcomer, this book is for you. If you want to learn more about the foster care system from a former foster youth’s perspective, this book is for you. If you want to better dwell in the reality of your own spiritual adoption by our Heavenly Father and better understand the orphan and the widow that He loves dearly, this book is for you. Ultimately, if you want to remember who God is, and what He can do through the most unlikely of people, Fostered is for you.

Genres: Nonfiction, Memoir, Christian, Fostering, Biography, Adoption, Faith

168 pages, Kindle Edition

Published October 18, 2022

About the author

Tori Hope Petersen is a former foster youth letting her Abba be known. She is passionate about foster care reform, adoption advocacy, vulnerable populations, and seeing the love of God change people's lives! Tori speaks across the nation sharing her powerful story, but her favorite form of art and communication is writing. Tori and her husband, Jacob, have the three sweetest kids: a biological son and daughter, Leyonder and Ezzeri, and an adopted adult son, Sar. Follow her on Instagram @torihopepetersen.

Reviews

[Breny and Books · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my dreams is to foster children/teenagers.
Many people foster because they want or can’t have kids, if I foster it will be because I want to show others what true love looks like- holy, sweet, patient and kind.

I come from a family that has dealt with the foster/adoption system. I’ve seen what love and lack of it can do to the life of a child as he grows older.

But even so, I have not personally experienced what it is like, I haven’t been in the shoes of those struggling in the foster care system.

This book is so beautiful and raw. It is a collection of stories that highlight aspects of Tori’s foster care life but also shine truth with reflections of the past under the light of Jesus’ love.

My heart has been challenged- not only to just be an eventual foster parent that gives it’s all, but a loving neighbor, sister, friend, mentor, and daughter…
To be that person who makes you feel loved and heard when no one else does, to be hospitable and sacrifice my own comfort for those of others- to expect miracles in a world where they’ve been forgotten.

Tori, thank you for your beautiful words. You can be sure that God indeed used “what was intended for evil” for good. So much good.

[Clay Davis · Rating 4 out of 5]

A well written book, needs a better cover and every chapter ends with the same strange markings that look like punctuations of some kind. Learned about this author on The 700 Club t. v. program.

[Amy | Foxy Blogs · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wow! What a powerful story about Tori’s journey through the foster care system. It’s incredible how she came to faith after being let down by so many people along the way.

I have minimal experience with the foster care system myself, but my daughter is a foster parent to older teens. Spending time with the teens in her care has been eye-opening. They truly touch your heart. Knowing that Tori was once one of those teens and someone who broke the mold is encouraging. She now advocates for others and is making a difference.

Audiobook source: Hoopla
Narrator: Tori Hope Petersen
Length: 5h 7m

[Katie Powner]

This is a truly moving and amazing story. This woman's resiliency is inspiring, and her journey is almost unbelievable because frankly I don't *want* to believe it...I don't want to believe that the system could so utterly fail a child. But as a foster parent myself, I know it's all too believable and real. I love her message of faith and forgiveness and her call to stop stereotyping foster children and instead step in to help in ways that are actually helpful, as opposed to ways that are "easy" but don't actually impact a child's life.

We've all heard the saying "hurt people hurt people," but Tori also says "healed people heal people." Her story reaffirmed to me the kind of foster mother I want to and strive to be. And it reminded me of the power of love over fear.

I sobbed several times reading this, so please be aware that it is very intense. It deals with trauma, lots of it, and should be approached with care if you have a history of abuse in your life or are caring for children who have been abused. I had to walk away from reading for a few days at one point. This story and this woman's message should not be taken lightly. This is serious, real-life stuff that will change you and your perspective.

[Staci · Rating 4 out of 5]

Raw and transparent. The narrator is the author, a 24 year old married mother that spent many of her childhood years in foster care. Tori shares some realities about the foster care system that I didn't know about. One enlightening point made is that reunification nor adoption is always the best solution. There are so many variables and each situation is different. The novel is faith building and informative.

[Erin Stoneking · Rating 5 out of 5]

Powerful, vulnerable, honest, and humbling. Tori does a beautiful job at telling her story. I can honestly say this book has changed my life. I promise to love others better because of the lessons Tori has taught me through her book.

[Ginny Yurich · Rating 5 out of 5]

Wonderful, touching memoir of Tori’s childhood journey through foster care and her faith journey. I loved reading about how she turned her tragedies into triumphs and has learned from all the homes she lived in what kind of mother she wanted to be. I’m looking forward to reading her next book.

I finished this one in the last few months on our drive home from TN.

[Courtney Abdo · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was an emotional read. I cried over the brokenness of Tori’s past, felt so mad when caseworkers didn’t believe/advocate for her, and cheered her on as she persevered despite her trauma. I appreciate her vulnerability for sharing about the reality of being a foster youth and her spiritual journey. Life didn’t get easier for her when she started following Jesus yet she trusted in His sovereignty. Only through Jesus & those that follow Him has Tori found healing. Inspiring to say the least!

“The foster care system should not be used solely to house children but should be used to help them heal.”

[Erin Laramore · Rating 5 out of 5]

As a CASA who needs to obtain continuing education, books and documentaries/movies are one of the easier ways to get that with my schedule. When I first spotted this book, I knew it was one I was going to want to read, regardless of CE credit. This was such a poignant tale of hope amidst trauma. It was enlightening to hear the thoughts and feelings of one who was in foster care, who went through so many placements. Ms. Peterson had some good foster homes and some bad ones. She made some good decisions and some bad ones. But through it all, God brought her through. Ultimately, she tells her story of healing from her traumas. In order to get to that point, you have to read of the traumatic events that put her in the system and kept her there. Her story was heart-breaking..... but God......

This book is a memoir. It does not track on a linear timeline, but rather each chapter has a theme, and the author's experiences related to that theme all go together in that chapter. That said, I do believe I would have been able to keep up on her story a bit better on a linear timeline, but she does give a warning in the prologue on how the book was set up, so I was mentally prepared for the format. It does start at birth and ends at current and there is a lot of growth in between. Her vantage point is unique as she is a former foster child who is currently a foster parent, providing love in the way she so desired it as a child. She is also an advocate for those in foster care and has done a great deal to see changes in the system. I appreciated her views on the system and ways that would be ideal for it to change. This is a book I wish I'd read before I took on my first case in order to better prepare myself for how the kids I'd be working with would be experiencing the world. All in all, this was a very good read. I would definitely recommend to any who want to know more about foster care, who work or volunteer in the industry (case workers, foster parents, CASAs, etc.), and those who enjoy inspirational stories of people who overcome adversity with the help of God.

Special thanks to the publisher and NetGalley for an advance e-copy of this book. I was under no obligation to provide a review and the thoughts contained herein are my own.

[Patience · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a beautiful story of hope in the midst of suffering. Elements of Petersen's story are all too familiar to me, having walked alongside similar stories while growing up with foster siblings and as a current respite provider. Other elements, especially her detailed look at the experiences of youth who are placed in institutional settings, were less familiar and incredibly eye-opening. Her story broadened and deepened my perspective, caused me to weep and pray over the brokenness of a system that is supposed to facilitate safety and healing but so often does the opposite, and reminded me of the hope that exists in the midst of heartache.

I was frequently struck by her grace to forgive the many case workers and other adults who failed her, allowed her to endure maltreatment, and placed/kept her in harmful situations. While not excusing the injustices, she points out the very real ways in which under-resourced, overburdened caseworkers are put in situations that make it almost inevitable that kids will slip through the cracks. Petersen tells her story in a way that makes glibness impossible, while also pushing back on the hopeless narratives pushed by so many about children and youth in the foster care system.

One note of caution: as Petersen points out in her introduction, trigger warnings, however overapplied and misused they can be, do exist for a reason. She spares the reader many of the brutal details, but this is hard to read, and best avoided by a reader with unresolved primary or secondary trauma related to abuse, separation, or sexual assault.

[Bailey T. Hurley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Better than I expected — mostly because I wasn’t sure what to expect. A first account from foster care. Note: sexual abuse, physical abuse. A powerful story of making the best out of the worst situation and allowing faith to keep you grounded. I’ll be pondering on this one for a while.

[Mary Beth · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so powerful. I cried countless times as I read through Tori’s story. I couldn’t put it down.

[Megan Calkins · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5!! So vulnerable, and therefore powerful. We learn and grow from the word of testimony, and Tori uses her story to compel us all to do better. Great call-to-actions for Christ-followers, foster parents, social workers, government systems, nonprofits, or anyone with a stigma about foster care. She speaks the real & hard truth while modeling understanding/compassion for the other side.

[Terah DeBenedetto · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book made me cry a lot. Many parts of her story were difficult to read, especially as a current foster parent. So heartbreaking but hopeful!

[Gabby Tiesma · Rating 5 out of 5]

this story is hard and redemptive.

& it’s a calling
to open our eyes
to open our hearts
to open our homes
to the vulnerable in our community.

[Laura and Literature · Rating 3 out of 5]

I recently heard Tori Hope Peterson speak on a favorite podcast of mine. I loved the way she spoke with confidence and knowledge. At the end of this podcast, her book was mentioned and I immediately made the purchase.

‘Fostered’ has been sitting on my shelf for a bit now and I am so glad I picked it up. As this can be a triggering and is a heartbreaking read, it is also beautiful in spite of the ugly, redemptive in the face of evil, and a truly inspiring story of beating the stereotypes put against you.

Peterson sheds light on the foster community, the ups and downs, and what she thinks could make it better. I believe the main purpose of this story is to tell us what it’s like in foster care, some of the legalities behind it, a glimpse in to her personal struggles within foster care, and how faith helped her overcome it all.

Favorite quote:
“Hurt people hurt people and healed people heal people.”

Themes:
🍂 mental and physical trauma
🍂physical abuse
🍂sexual abuse
🍂driving under the influence
🍂drugs and alcohol
🍂eating disorder
🍂body dysphoria
🍂redemption
🍂Christian values
🍂coming to Christ
🍂overcoming stereotypes
🍂finding identity

⭐️⭐️⭐️✨

[Elliana Anderson (Salter) · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author’s story was eye-opening and such an important thing to read. I so appreciated her message and way of speaking her story with honest truth not to garner pity but to raise awareness of what is going wrong with the current foster-care system. I just wish it had been written with more of a structure and followed a timeline… instead it jumped all over the place and was really disjointed. Further, she couldn’t decide what she wanted it to be - a memoir pretending to be a theology book pretending to be a how-to book pretending to be an advocacy piece for foster-care reform. Honestly, it was really hard to follow her train of thought. Again, a necessary message and I’m glad I read it - just needed some major editing.

[C.G.Koens · Rating 2 out of 5]

The story of Tori Hope Peterson was interesting enough that I read it in one sitting. The heartbreak of her life story, and the viewpoint of our broken foster care system is both maddening and heart wrenching.

Only two stars because I don't think she was ready to write the story yet. I'd like a follow up to this in another 10 years.

[Saljo · Rating 2 out of 5]

I learnt more about the foster care system. Tori has an amazing story filled with sadness and trauma and eventually Jesus' grace.
But, the way it jumps around in timeline, sometimes in the same paragraph, is crazy. It was tricky to read. I feel like this book needs a good edit and re-do to make it awesome.

[Angela Blount · Rating 4 out of 5]

Heartbreaking, but inspiring--infuriating, yet ultimately hopeful.

This memoir is for anyone unfamiliar with the foster care system, but seeking to understand and/or looking to participate and aid in its reform. (Or perhaps for any YA fans who enjoyed the book Sadie, but would have liked a more satisfying ending.)

Tori Hope Petersen spent most of her young life enduring the most unstable of home environments--growing up with no father and a mentally ill, drug-peddling mother who seemed to love her at times, but at other times would lash out at her in wild jealousy.
Her mother's incarceration resulted in Tori and her much younger half-sister being removed and placed in foster care. When Tori tried to report her sister was being molested by a family member within this foster home, she was branded a liar and separated from her sister.

"Sometimes I feel the caseworkers deemed me a liar from the beginning because they knew there would be abuse in future homes. What better way not to have to investigate abuse and eliminate foster homes than to oppress the truth-telling voice that would report the abuse simply by labeling that voice "liar"?"

Tori was then bounced around to numerous homes and facilities over several years--filled with understandable anger and mistrust and acting out in destructive ways. Neglected, abused, betrayed, and desperate for love, she even fell prey to human trafficking (as is SO horribly common for this demographic, yet so often ignored.)

Petersen rightly has a lot to say about the foster system, taking it upon herself to bare parts of her soul in educating readers. She not only highlights the problems (observed from having personally been shuffled through 12 different foster homes), she also proposes solutions. And said solutions require both the spread of awareness and the spurring of direct involvement.

"When we place children to fill beds, we are creating a system of temporary housing rather than a long-term solution of finding children their forever, safe, and loving families."

"Too many people throw money and goods at vulnerable youth when they need time, basic skills, and long-term relationships."

"I didn't want to be treated like charity. I wanted to be invested in. If we want to see our foster youth empowered, we must grant them responsibility. I want vulnerable youth to have what they need for today, but more than that, I want vulnerable youth to obtain the skills they need for their families tomorrow."

At one point Tori acknowledges and explains an improvement that HAS been implemented in the foster care system, though it came too late to benefit her:

"In 2014, the year I graduated high school and emancipated out of the foster care system, The Strengthening Families Act was signed into law. It supports "normalcy" for youth, especially teens in foster care, and grants foster youth much-needed social freedom and opportunity."

Still, the negligence of social workers and those handling (i.e. mishandling) her case is retrospectively maddening. At one point in her early teens, she was given abortion pills with no consent or proper education as to what they would do or why, and no support as she suffered alone through what she even now doesn't seem to quite recognize as a forced miscarriage. In another instance, social workers wrongly told her she would have to choose between being emancipated from foster care and receiving financial aid for college. (Fortunately, she took research into her own hands and discovered this to be incorrect.)

That Petersen survived what she did (and is any degree of functional) is incredible enough. The fact that she has accomplished so much, by just the age of 24, is dumbfounding.
4-time state track champion, wife, bio mother, adoptive mother, foster mother, youth advocate, author, speaker, Miss Universe winner... It begs the obvious question of HOW she managed to overcome so many obstacles and traumas. First and foremost, she credits her faith--which is clearly a huge part of her worldview and driving purpose. It also becomes clear she had two additional aspects of intervention: a drive and discipline for Track, and a coach who wouldn't give up on her--neither personally nor as an athlete.

Although the telling is overall a little disjointed, and her writing often guarded or halting (as one would expect from someone so young, still healing from such traumas) Petersen's call to action is a resounding one. This reader has no doubt this woman will become and even greater force to be reckoned with as her writing and speaking chops mature over the next decade or so.

"Being a safe person is something I've strived for. When all is said and done, I don't care to be remembered as a powerhouse. I hope to be remembered as a safe house."

I will certainly be keeping an eye on this author.

[Leanne McElroy · Rating 3 out of 5]

What can I say? Tori’s story is heartfelt and raw.

The author’s life is summarized in this autobiography, told through a collection of key moments. It fit well to give us enough scope of the author’s life, while not being overwhelming or extensive.

I did not grow up in foster care, but Tori is brave for letting us into that world. It was very educational, and I’m happy to see that God turned her pain into power and trauma into triumph. That message really hit home for me.

For critique, I’d say the story jumps around a lot and could have been more streamlined. I was a tad confused at certain parts by the author skipping ahead, jumping back in time, or backtracking to explain something. This broke the flow and pacing at times. It was distracting enough that I took off a star.

Also, the writer kept going back to her abusive mother. Tori kept trying to establish a relationship with her, even though her mother brought nothing but pain and torture (common for abuse victims). While yes, the mom was suffering, and yes, needed love, I didn’t think encouraging others to simply love people like that more was good for the overall healthy message of the book. You can love someone dearly from a distance, while still putting up healthy boundaries.

Promoting contact with someone that unstable, even if unintentionally, especially someone who was physically, emotionally, verbally, and psychologically abusive, was a red flag to me. People can be complex, wanting to give and receive love while also not knowing how to deal with their own trauma and pain, inflicting it onto others. This book was sort of taking that on, but did not quite do the subject justice. Some parts were great, really solid, but others not so much.

As someone who experienced physical, psychological, and verbal abuse growing up (from people my mom wasn’t aware of at the time), I resonated with parts of this story. My mom, though not physically abusive herself, struggled with being verbally belittling and harsh, which she inherited from her own upbringing. Thankfully, after a lot of healthy conversations and prayer, our bond is stronger than ever. That’s why I would have loved to see a clearer representation of reconciliation and healthy boundaries in Tori’s story — though I understand everyone’s healing journey is personal.

To wrap up: Both Tori and I found that love and healing in Jesus, finding wholeness in our walk with God. I want to thank the author for sharing, and talking about her faith journey, too. These stories need to be written, they need to be told to help others. It’s why I picked up this book to support when I saw Tori’s story on social media, even though I’ve never been in foster care.

Overall, a solid book. Emotional though, there’s a lot of dark subject matter, so be warned. A much needed conversation otherwise, about what happens behind closed doors.

[Esther Filbrun · Rating 5 out of 5]

I learned about this book about a year ago, but didn’t pick it up until a couple of weeks ago. Whew. What a powerful story! Written with courage, heart, and a great deal of honesty, Tori’s story is one destined to be unlikely to forget. I haven’t read many stories written by former foster care children, nor, for that matter, that many adoption stories (although adoption is close to my heart). Tori experienced and saw things I can hardly comprehend, even though I’m guessing she’s only a few years older than me. What I could relate, to, though, was the hope she shared as her relationship with the Lord blossomed and grew. I cheered as she was able to do things most people would never expect from someone with the kind of upbringing she had. This was a hard, hard story, but also an ultimately beautiful one. I came away blessed, encouraged, and challenged to keep reaching out to people with the Lord’s love—no matter how “lost” or “off the rails” they might appear to be. If you enjoy true stories of hope coming out of some of the most difficult circumstances in life, or want to know how to support those in the foster care system better, this would be a great choice for you.

I was given a complimentary copy of this book, and this is my honest opinion of it.

CW: Substance abuse, beatings, and sleeping around are mentioned frequently (always as discreetly as possible)

[Heidi · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was incredibly moving. Heartbreaking. But also hopeful and uplifting. She lived through so many damaging situations and relationships and losses and betrayals and abuse. And yet, this book is written by a young woman who , while plainly recognizing the many strikes against her, does not identify herself as a helpless Victim, but as a woman whom Jesus called to Himself, a woman who is in the active process of healing but also actively serving foster kids as well as others within the foster care system. She calls it as she sees it, not only about her childhood, but also about her own wrong choices in young adulthood, exhibiting humility and a true faith in God’s power to forgive and transform. Her transparency and insight, her criticisms of the system and her grace toward those who failed her, leave me speechless.
If you want to witness what God can do in a life that few valued in her formative years, if you are interested in foster care, this is essential reading.

[BespectacledBookGirl · Rating 5 out of 5]

Thank you @netgalley and B+H Books for a free arc of this book, which is out now at your favorite bookstore and on audible 💫

Tori Hope Peterson’s memoir Fostered: One Woman’s Powerful Story of Finding Faith and Family Through Foster Care is an important personal account of a system that many gloss over or romanticize. As a member of the broader Christian community, I was relieved to read a memoir of foster care that wasn’t invested in “putting the best spin” its inherently traumatic nature with cheap, brainlessly applied Christian-ese. Rightfully, this was not a book for the egos of those of us interested in fostering; instead it is a heart-heavy glimpse into how this system and many foster parents can overlook, abandon, exploit, or even accidentally further traumatize the vulnerable kids who are just trying to survive, thrive, and be loved. Fostered is also partly an account of Tori’s faith formation, and I think her honesty about faith giving us a survival lifeline / identity framework—rather than being a cheap promise that once you believe things would immediately change for the better, as many of us were indoctrinated—is an incredible balm to those who have suffered spiritual abuse and also a picture of what healthy spirituality looks like: mistakes assessed with grace rather than condemnation. Tori shared her hardships, heartache, self formation and more in this powerful memoir that I encourage you to read!

#arctober #arc #20booksby20blackwomen #netgalley #memoir #readmorewomen #bookinhand #bookstagram #bookreview #recentreads #fostered #torihopepeterson #books #bookaesthetic #coverdesign #orangebooks #bookvibes #bookcollection #bookish #bookgirl #goodreads #bookreview #bookblog #ebooks #newbooks #nonfiction #socialjusticereads

[Kali · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this book! I deeply appreciated the way Tori wrote about the hard, hard parts of her story. Sometimes you don’t have to write every single detail to get the picture. Words are important and she uses them well. Also this book is my prayer for how my siblings will one day view their trauma, only God alone can heal them.

[Jessie Holbrook · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a beautiful story of redemption, healing, and hope for those who find themselves in the foster care system. I feel like I have a new understanding of the challenges those in the system face since reading Tori’s book. Highly recommend this read! Plus it’s free on Spotify if you have premium.

[Rebekah Miller · Rating 5 out of 5]

Inspiring and powerful story. By the end, you will feel like a close personal friend of Tori’s.

[Melissa Paisley · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well written. I feel like I have more knowledge of what needs to change in the foster system.

[Nicholas Bannister · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book provides a vulnerable, straight forward, yet tactful window into Tori’s experiences and reflections as a foster youth. I found her reflections on faith and Christ’s love for the sinner and sufferer deeply moving. She’s also clear about where and why advocacy and change is needed in the United States’ foster care system—words I hope many, including myself, hear carefully and act on.

[Amy Kannel · Rating 3 out of 5]

I always struggle to give a negative review to a memoir. It feels so personal. And honestly, in this case I think my criticism is more directed at the publisher than the author. This book needed a lot more/better editing work, both on a line-editing level (sloppy syntax, grammar mistakes all over the place) and on a developmental level.

The timeline (or lack thereof) was scattered and very confusing--and I say that as someone who does not usually complain about or have trouble with non-linear/non-chronological stories. The book also lacked focus. A fellow reviewer's comment captures it well: "Further, she couldn’t decide what she wanted it to be - a memoir pretending to be a theology book pretending to be a how-to book pretending to be an advocacy piece for foster-care reform." Normally I love it when a book weaves together a lot of topics, but this wasn't cohesive enough to pull that off.

I'm very confident there's a powerful, beautiful story here, well worth telling. But I think the publisher failed to empower Petersen to bring it out effectively. I appreciated Petersen's honesty, boldness, humility, and passion. Still, I think this was probably also written a bit too soon. It would likely be a better book in a few more years, with the benefit of additional maturity and distance from the events. (And better editing!) 2.5 stars, rounding up.