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Have at It, Sister
Gloria Burtzlaff feared for her life one day back in April of 1991 when her abusive husband, Larry, drunk and violent, slapped her, hit her, and began pelting her with glasses. After he tried to drown her in a tub, she got the family shotgun and confronted him in his underwear. “Larry, I’m going to kill you,” she declared. Defense lawyers would later claim he lifted a glass as if to say, “Have at it, sister.”
Have at It, Sister is a true-crime tale about Gloria, a South Dakota woman who shot her abusive husband and was put on trial in a precedent-setting case. She’s also a cousin of the wife of Bill Griffeth, a retired TV anchor on CNBC and PBS, and her story drew him into a years-long obsession to try to understand what was really at the heart of the shocking killing. How does a seemingly ordinary South Dakota marriage descend into abuse and murder? How have our views on abuse and justifiable homicide changed since the 1990s?
This is a true-crime story that’s not just about murder and mayhem; it’s about something real, relevant, and important. At the time that Gloria’s trial was held in the summer of 1991, South Dakota was the only state in the country not to allow expert witnesses to offer a diagnosis that a female defendant suffered from a psychological condition called “battered woman syndrome” as part of a self-defense plea in a murder trial. Gloria’s case helped lead to a change in the law, and Bill looks into why the case made legal waves and struck such a nerve with the public. Through the up and downs and appeals of her case, we see how society’s view of domestic violence in general, and battered women in particular, evolve.
As #MeToo continues to empower women, her case has become increasingly relevant. Like I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, this is a true-crime story that hits close to home. Bill Griffeth has served as an anchor at CNBC and a former cohost of PBS’ Nightly Business Report.
Have at It, Sister is a true-crime tale about Gloria, a South Dakota woman who shot her abusive husband and was put on trial in a precedent-setting case. She’s also a cousin of the wife of Bill Griffeth, a retired TV anchor on CNBC and PBS, and her story drew him into a years-long obsession to try to understand what was really at the heart of the shocking killing. How does a seemingly ordinary South Dakota marriage descend into abuse and murder? How have our views on abuse and justifiable homicide changed since the 1990s?
This is a true-crime story that’s not just about murder and mayhem; it’s about something real, relevant, and important. At the time that Gloria’s trial was held in the summer of 1991, South Dakota was the only state in the country not to allow expert witnesses to offer a diagnosis that a female defendant suffered from a psychological condition called “battered woman syndrome” as part of a self-defense plea in a murder trial. Gloria’s case helped lead to a change in the law, and Bill looks into why the case made legal waves and struck such a nerve with the public. Through the up and downs and appeals of her case, we see how society’s view of domestic violence in general, and battered women in particular, evolve.
As #MeToo continues to empower women, her case has become increasingly relevant. Like I’ll Be Gone in the Dark, this is a true-crime story that hits close to home. Bill Griffeth has served as an anchor at CNBC and a former cohost of PBS’ Nightly Business Report.
Audible Audio
Published August 25, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
December 10, 2022
I listened to the audiobook, which was well narrated by the author, but with actors playing some specific events, which I enjoyed, as it brought the scenes to life. The story itself is the true tale of an abused wife who kills her abusive husband, but it takes years to finally get justice. The misogynist attitudes are actually shocking to hear, even when expected! All in all, though, a very engrossing experience.
January 14, 2023
This is my first Audible Originals title, and it definitely set the bar high. I was very impressed with the full cast of narrators as well as reenactments of the courtroom proceedings and the 911 call. What I loved most about this book, though, is that it prompts listeners/readers to think critically about domestic violence.
“The problem of domestic violence is so insidious — it sneaks up on you.” — Gloria Burtzlaff, wife of the late Larry Burtzlaff
Gloria wanted to be married. Not only that — she wanted to be married to Larry. Why, then, did she kill him while he was sitting on the couch and minding his own business? Or, as the prosecutor of the case would question, “How is a woman in imminent danger when her husband is just sitting there?” The answer is prolonged domestic violence.
This book was an interesting look at batter spouse syndrome and how tough it can be to build a defense upon it. How can we judge whether a woman felt that she was in imminent danger after she was abused over and over for years? Sure, her husband sat on the couch when she pointed a gun at him and announced that she was going to kill him. He didn’t have her by the neck threatening to take her life. There is so much more to it than meets the eye, though, and this book helps readers to understand that.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to further understand domestic abuse. This is also a great read for true crime buffs who enjoy the ins-and-outs of the courtroom during high profile cases.
The full cast of narrators among other listening pleasantries made this an easy listen. This type of book can be super heavy, and on audio, it can be easy for the mind to wander. That is not the case in Bill Griffeth’s Have At It, Sister.
“The problem of domestic violence is so insidious — it sneaks up on you.” — Gloria Burtzlaff, wife of the late Larry Burtzlaff
Gloria wanted to be married. Not only that — she wanted to be married to Larry. Why, then, did she kill him while he was sitting on the couch and minding his own business? Or, as the prosecutor of the case would question, “How is a woman in imminent danger when her husband is just sitting there?” The answer is prolonged domestic violence.
This book was an interesting look at batter spouse syndrome and how tough it can be to build a defense upon it. How can we judge whether a woman felt that she was in imminent danger after she was abused over and over for years? Sure, her husband sat on the couch when she pointed a gun at him and announced that she was going to kill him. He didn’t have her by the neck threatening to take her life. There is so much more to it than meets the eye, though, and this book helps readers to understand that.
I recommend this book to anyone who wants to further understand domestic abuse. This is also a great read for true crime buffs who enjoy the ins-and-outs of the courtroom during high profile cases.
The full cast of narrators among other listening pleasantries made this an easy listen. This type of book can be super heavy, and on audio, it can be easy for the mind to wander. That is not the case in Bill Griffeth’s Have At It, Sister.
November 21, 2022
Very detailed recounting of a monumental moment in the history of law making. When does an action go beyond the law? This book really takes you a journey of a woman’s awful predicament and the good that came from it.
I especially like how the reporter is a family member of the victim.
I especially like how the reporter is a family member of the victim.
October 30, 2022
This story had me thinking. What’s right, what’s wrong, how do things go so badly without people knowing.
August 30, 2022
This is the story of Gloria Burtzlaff and her relationship with her husband, Lance. Lance was a domineering man who became increasingly abusive as his marriage deteriorated and Gloria had an affair. The situation is complicated by Lance’s illness which clearly lessened his sense of self-worth which led to more abuse of Gloria until one night when he tried to drown her before deciding that drowning was too easy a death. While he sat on his couch getting drunker, Gloria decided she’d had enough and shot him.
What follows is Gloria’s experience with the court system and later in prison as she, her attorneys, and her sons try to get her freed to return to her life. It’s a fascinating, and often heart wrenching story which highlights many of the challenges and problems with our legal system. While Gloria is in prison in effect for not leaving her husband, another case in South Dakota spotlights a woman who did the “right thing” only to have her husband murder her and her children. Shortly thereafter, a man who kills his girlfriend in a case that is less stark than Gloria’s is given four years (instead of the twenty that Gloria received) and then let out of prison before his first year is completed. These cases highlight both the inequities in the legal system and the extraordinary difficulty in handling these cases.
Another fascinating part of the story are the many letters to the editors written by Gloria or about her case by members of the community showing differing perspectives on her actions. The biggest challenge to determining the correct outcome of Gloria’s situation is that when all is said and done we only have Gloria’s account of her abuse and the events of the final night. Abusers are often clever enough to hide their actions from the community, so it is not widely known that the abuse is happening. This is reflected in the letters to the editors as people anguish over the lack of external evidence that Gloria and Lance’s marriage had become abusive. This is really the only place in the book where that complexity comes through because Griffeth accepts Gloria’s claims wholeheartedly and following his narrative it is easy to forget that all the critical information comes from her. This doesn’t mean she was lying, it’s just the reality of the source of the evidence.
Gloria’s fight for her freedom is a fascinating story, but what is even more interesting is the growing public awareness of a serious problem and how that awareness impacts the South Dakota legislature, the governor, and the court system.
What follows is Gloria’s experience with the court system and later in prison as she, her attorneys, and her sons try to get her freed to return to her life. It’s a fascinating, and often heart wrenching story which highlights many of the challenges and problems with our legal system. While Gloria is in prison in effect for not leaving her husband, another case in South Dakota spotlights a woman who did the “right thing” only to have her husband murder her and her children. Shortly thereafter, a man who kills his girlfriend in a case that is less stark than Gloria’s is given four years (instead of the twenty that Gloria received) and then let out of prison before his first year is completed. These cases highlight both the inequities in the legal system and the extraordinary difficulty in handling these cases.
Another fascinating part of the story are the many letters to the editors written by Gloria or about her case by members of the community showing differing perspectives on her actions. The biggest challenge to determining the correct outcome of Gloria’s situation is that when all is said and done we only have Gloria’s account of her abuse and the events of the final night. Abusers are often clever enough to hide their actions from the community, so it is not widely known that the abuse is happening. This is reflected in the letters to the editors as people anguish over the lack of external evidence that Gloria and Lance’s marriage had become abusive. This is really the only place in the book where that complexity comes through because Griffeth accepts Gloria’s claims wholeheartedly and following his narrative it is easy to forget that all the critical information comes from her. This doesn’t mean she was lying, it’s just the reality of the source of the evidence.
Gloria’s fight for her freedom is a fascinating story, but what is even more interesting is the growing public awareness of a serious problem and how that awareness impacts the South Dakota legislature, the governor, and the court system.
February 7, 2025
Set in 1991, when women's rights were still a buzz word, this book deals with a case of a wife who shot her husband point blank. Gloria has sustained physical threat and trauma over a period of time and the book talks about a fair trial and talks about "battered woman syndrome".
The first part explains the life of Gloria and Larry - from their courtship period till the date of the crime. During this period, they have three sons who are settled and Gloria even has an affair for four years with Larry's colleague. There are minor episodes of physical violence and a lot of verbal abuse - but not even their closest friends know about it. When Larry is diagnosed with cancer and he turns abusive more frequent. One night, under the influence of alcohol he tries to drown Gloria. She gets up, goes and gets a gun and shoots him.
The second part is the trial - which seems pretty open and shut. While the defense tries to justify the imminent danger as perceived by a "battered woman" due to the technicality of not allowing expert witness. The jury in this case returns a verdict of manslaughter.
The last part of her time in jail trying to find justice for women like her also highlights the difference in treatment to men and women. This book also tries to be a commentary on how laws caught up with equality for women.
I picked this book for a true crime prompt since it deals with a bit more than the crime.
The first part explains the life of Gloria and Larry - from their courtship period till the date of the crime. During this period, they have three sons who are settled and Gloria even has an affair for four years with Larry's colleague. There are minor episodes of physical violence and a lot of verbal abuse - but not even their closest friends know about it. When Larry is diagnosed with cancer and he turns abusive more frequent. One night, under the influence of alcohol he tries to drown Gloria. She gets up, goes and gets a gun and shoots him.
The second part is the trial - which seems pretty open and shut. While the defense tries to justify the imminent danger as perceived by a "battered woman" due to the technicality of not allowing expert witness. The jury in this case returns a verdict of manslaughter.
The last part of her time in jail trying to find justice for women like her also highlights the difference in treatment to men and women. This book also tries to be a commentary on how laws caught up with equality for women.
I picked this book for a true crime prompt since it deals with a bit more than the crime.
October 7, 2022
I listened to this book, going through the case of Gloria Burtzlaff, who was convicted, and incarcerated for many years, for killing her husband when she feared for her life.
One thing that really struck me: how women receive an average of 15yrs sentencing, while men receive 2-6yrs, when sentenced for killing an intimate partner. 🤯
It is shocking how the American justice system is basically saying it’s more acceptable for a men to kill his partner, than a women to kill hers. Sexism runs deep in our North American society.
Bringing awareness to domestic violence is SO important. Helping people realize how domestic violence takes place, the cyclical nature of it, how abusive men may look completely fine to others, cause disbelief when a woman comes forward with her abuse.
Domestic violence is so many layers: the gaslighting, manipulation, use shame and guilt, knowing how to control… “battered women syndrome”.
One thing that really struck me: how women receive an average of 15yrs sentencing, while men receive 2-6yrs, when sentenced for killing an intimate partner. 🤯
It is shocking how the American justice system is basically saying it’s more acceptable for a men to kill his partner, than a women to kill hers. Sexism runs deep in our North American society.
Bringing awareness to domestic violence is SO important. Helping people realize how domestic violence takes place, the cyclical nature of it, how abusive men may look completely fine to others, cause disbelief when a woman comes forward with her abuse.
Domestic violence is so many layers: the gaslighting, manipulation, use shame and guilt, knowing how to control… “battered women syndrome”.
October 29, 2022
A true story of love, devotion, and domestic violence. Written by Bill Griffeth, a journalist, news anchor, and writer, "Have at it, Sister" tells the story of a seemingly "normal and happy" family followed by murder and courtroom drama. The woman at the center of this case is a member of the author's family but in no way does this color the facts. If anything, it adds to the reality that domestic violence is incessant. With October being Domestic Violence Awareness Month, domesticviolence.org reports that: "America has some pretty alarming statistics concerning intimate partner domestic violence. Every day, there are almost 20 people a minute that are physically abused by someone close to them."
"Have at It, Sister" is a new release and available on Audibles (free to members). An excellent, unfortunate listen.
"Have at It, Sister" is a new release and available on Audibles (free to members). An excellent, unfortunate listen.
October 31, 2022
For my True Crime or Horror October read I selected "Have At It Sister" by Bill Griffeths. It is True Crime (battered woman kills her spouse) and appropriate because October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. The book was written in three parts - Gloria's story & crime, the trial, and how her trial impacted South Dakota state law and the changes that have occurred in battered women cases since then. It's an Audible Original (Audible only) so its accessibility is limited. While the history, crime, and trial made me think through available options for battered woman and how the criminal justice system judges women versus men, the audio editing was disappointing. It was more audio-drama than audiobook and there were several mistakes (repeated passages).
December 27, 2022
I listened to this audiobook and I’m glad I did. I loved the way this real life story was told. My heart went out to the abused wife and it showed me how screwed up the system was. I know many women who have been in her situation and never told anyone about the abuse. My heart broke at how bad the system treated her and how other women in other states got off for doing the same thing or worse. I was angry when a man committed the same crime she was accused of but for a lighter sentence. I am happy the self defense of battered wives law was changed but the victim in this book never got the justice she deserved. It is a must read to see how far we’ve come but also how much farther we need to go for women’s rights.
October 8, 2022
Loved this story. The raw, open truth isn't always pretty, and sometimes not necessary. However, in this case it was all needed in order for the story to make sense. Bill Griffith did a masterful job of telling his cousin-in-law's life story. It is so similar to The Burning Bed, but still not quite the same. Domestic violence is evil, hateful, and painful, and I am so glad this story ended the way it did. Bravo to everyone involved!!!
September 4, 2022
This is a true "crime" story and as with most well written stories, I have so many questions of what happen and how did she live her life after prison. Unfortunately, Google has no real info and perhaps that is best because maybe that's just me being nosey. I could relate on so many levels so I just guess I wanted hope for after the abuse has ended...however that comes about.
September 7, 2022
An amazing story and TRUE. My heart went out to this woman and the life she had to live with an abusive husband no one knows what goes son behind closed door. Verbal abuse as well as physical is so hard to tell other people about. You are ashamed to tell people it is going on. I am so glad she shared her story so it can inspire others to leave before its to late to leave.
September 7, 2022
This one hit home. I was in an abusive marriage for 7 long years. I finally did get the courage up to leave and go to a shelter. I don't like to think about that time in my life. I hate seeing how different men and women get treated in the judicial system. I hope books like this help get the word out. I highly recommend this book, especially for women in current abusive situations.
October 12, 2023
Very surprised at how much i enjoyed this. I listened to the audio version on audible and the voice acting and sound effects made it feel like you were in the courtroom. The story itself is an important one (& true!) sending out a strong message about domestic abuse. Really felt for Gloria Burtzlaff and what she and her family went through.
October 15, 2025
The Griffin Sisters’ Greatest Hits by Jennifer Weiner was a tale of sisters, love, grief, and loneliness. I enjoyed the trajectory of the story and the characters. I have been a Jennifer Weiner fan since reading Good in Bed in high school. Her writing does not disappoint. It is easy to digest and relatable.
August 14, 2023
I would have preferred a single narrator, but hearing from Gloria herself was inpactful. I was shaken, saddened, and angry at different points throughout the book. Not the usual book I go for, but it was definitely worth picking up.
October 2, 2022
This poor women.
Glad all worked out in the end.
Domestic violence comes in many forms and just because no one sees it but you doesnt mean it is not happening.
Glad all worked out in the end.
Domestic violence comes in many forms and just because no one sees it but you doesnt mean it is not happening.
October 4, 2022
A true story. Wow
August 2, 2023
A must read for South Dakotans.
August 5, 2023
Interesting and got me thinking about the many dimensions of domestic abuse.
October 8, 2023
A true crime retelling of Gloria Burtzlaff and how she murdered her abusive husband. Her case was precedent-setting and very intriguing. A page-turner for true crime enthusiasts!
May 2, 2024
This is a must-read.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews