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Beyond Rare: The INFJ's Guide to Cultivating Growth & Self-Awareness
It’s well-known within the personality community that, statistically speaking anyway, INFJs are the “rarest” of the 16 types. And because they grow up feeling “different” or misunderstood—possibly even like outsiders—they experience a profound sense of relief and validation upon discovering their personality type and its relative rarity. In this singular “aha” moment, whatever angst or confusion they may have been wrestling with is replaced by a sense of clarity and empowerment.
And while embracing the unique or “rare” aspects of their personality can be a useful first step toward self-understanding, it can only take INFJs so far. Past a certain point in the self-discovery process, holding fast to their rareness may actually deceive them into believing that they’ve come to end of the road, growth wise. In other words, awareness of their rarity may constitute knowledge, but not necessarily wisdom—a distinction only earned once they learn to redirect their focus from their status as outliers and black swans toward matters of personal development.
This book aims to shed light on what a successful path to growth and development might look like for INFJs. Not only does it explore INFJs’ exceptional qualities that are worth strengthening and honing, but also their blindspots and pitfalls, so they can manifest their full creative potential. It invites INFJs to embark on a journey of self-transformation—both conceptually and experientially—which can only be described as “beyond rare.”
And while embracing the unique or “rare” aspects of their personality can be a useful first step toward self-understanding, it can only take INFJs so far. Past a certain point in the self-discovery process, holding fast to their rareness may actually deceive them into believing that they’ve come to end of the road, growth wise. In other words, awareness of their rarity may constitute knowledge, but not necessarily wisdom—a distinction only earned once they learn to redirect their focus from their status as outliers and black swans toward matters of personal development.
This book aims to shed light on what a successful path to growth and development might look like for INFJs. Not only does it explore INFJs’ exceptional qualities that are worth strengthening and honing, but also their blindspots and pitfalls, so they can manifest their full creative potential. It invites INFJs to embark on a journey of self-transformation—both conceptually and experientially—which can only be described as “beyond rare.”
- GenresPsychology
193 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 23, 2022
40 people are currently reading
110 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
January 29, 2024
Simply amazing
September 13, 2022
Loved it!
Definitely a book I will return to repeatedly because there is so much insight to glean and layers to unpack. I finally feel like I have a real grasp on understanding Ni. So many "Ah ha!" moments.
Definitely a book I will return to repeatedly because there is so much insight to glean and layers to unpack. I finally feel like I have a real grasp on understanding Ni. So many "Ah ha!" moments.
December 14, 2022
This is the book I feel like I've been living my whole life to be ready to consume and understand. So well done and one of the best books on the INFJ personality type out there (for advanced readers who have studied Jung's cognitive functions).
January 7, 2025
This book has changed how I perceive myself and my life and I am very grateful to the Elaine Drenth for having written this pearl of a book!
I already had a good understanding of my personality type (which I recommend in order to get the most out of this read) but this book added so much depth to it. It was a very confrontational read, as it confirmed a lot of the challenges of being this type, while it doesn't provide easy solutions. On the contrary, what I considered to be my best chance of finding 'my place in this world' (becoming an artist, like so many INFJs, apparently) might really be an attempt to chase a rainbow in the hopes of finding a pot of gold.
I understand much better now why the desire for self-actualization -by developing all the four functions of your type- holds so much appeal, but is also an extremely risky endeavour. Trying to develop your weakest function (which is Se (extraverted sensing) in the case of the INFJ) can create a lot of emotional turmoil in your life and does not necessarily grant you with the rewards that you are hoping for.
The author's suggestion to remain faithful to your strongest function (Introverted Intuition) makes sense, and the last chapter about actualization is full of wisdom. The idea that the best contribution that an INFJ can make to the world is healing, developing and accepting himself/herself sounded true, but it's also somewhat of a bitter pill to swallow for those of us who cling to tangible, Se outcomes. If and how to develop Se, remains an ongoing question.
In any case, I will return to this bittersweet book many times in my life for guidance, confrontation and consolation.
I already had a good understanding of my personality type (which I recommend in order to get the most out of this read) but this book added so much depth to it. It was a very confrontational read, as it confirmed a lot of the challenges of being this type, while it doesn't provide easy solutions. On the contrary, what I considered to be my best chance of finding 'my place in this world' (becoming an artist, like so many INFJs, apparently) might really be an attempt to chase a rainbow in the hopes of finding a pot of gold.
I understand much better now why the desire for self-actualization -by developing all the four functions of your type- holds so much appeal, but is also an extremely risky endeavour. Trying to develop your weakest function (which is Se (extraverted sensing) in the case of the INFJ) can create a lot of emotional turmoil in your life and does not necessarily grant you with the rewards that you are hoping for.
The author's suggestion to remain faithful to your strongest function (Introverted Intuition) makes sense, and the last chapter about actualization is full of wisdom. The idea that the best contribution that an INFJ can make to the world is healing, developing and accepting himself/herself sounded true, but it's also somewhat of a bitter pill to swallow for those of us who cling to tangible, Se outcomes. If and how to develop Se, remains an ongoing question.
In any case, I will return to this bittersweet book many times in my life for guidance, confrontation and consolation.
June 15, 2025
I learned about this book on Personality Junkie. The articles there were so good, I was excited to see what more the book had to offer. I was disappointed to find it so stiffly written, often coming across like more of a dissertation. There are some nuggets of wisdom but I think I would have gotten more from it if she had used a more casual approach like the online articles. She also seems to repeat the same thoughts over and over, and quotes others rather than using her own words while simultaneously over explaining her original thought which comes off as offensive to an intelligent reader who got it the first time. Most ironic of all though is that she’s so focused on Ni that she rarely gets around to Se - providing real life examples and specific actions to take - the very thing her entire book focuses on as INFJ’s biggest blind spot. Might have helped to have a Sensor editor to fix such a glaring problem. As it was, I was generally just annoyed and bored
September 13, 2023
Absolutely gorgeous writing style, with a deeply introspective & awakening message to other INFJs.
Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews