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Paris or Die
Sharp, funny and unflinchingly honest, Jayne Tuttle’s memoir lifts you off the page and into a Paris far beyond the postcards. This new edition of Paris or Die is a headlong plunge into not just life in Paris, but life itself.
Aspiring actor Jayne lives in Melbourne, where she dreams of a creative life. But after her mother dies unexpectedly, Jayne loses her bearings. Untethered, heartsick, she is soon on a plane to Paris with no return ticket. The city, it seems, has its own plans for her.
She finds herself in a vibrant and dizzying neighbourhood, living in a former monastery, studying at a famous theatre school, falling in love with a Frenchman too beautiful to be real. She will forget her past and disappear into the culture if it kills her. And one strange night, it nearly does.
Raw, real and evocative, Paris or Die is an unforgettable picture of love, grief and adventure.
Aspiring actor Jayne lives in Melbourne, where she dreams of a creative life. But after her mother dies unexpectedly, Jayne loses her bearings. Untethered, heartsick, she is soon on a plane to Paris with no return ticket. The city, it seems, has its own plans for her.
She finds herself in a vibrant and dizzying neighbourhood, living in a former monastery, studying at a famous theatre school, falling in love with a Frenchman too beautiful to be real. She will forget her past and disappear into the culture if it kills her. And one strange night, it nearly does.
Raw, real and evocative, Paris or Die is an unforgettable picture of love, grief and adventure.
256 pages, Paperback
First published December 1, 2019
32 people are currently reading
896 people want to read
About the author
Jayne Tuttle
4 books34 followersJayne Tuttle is the author of Paris or Die (2019) and My Sweet Guillotine (2022).
Jayne graduated from the École Internationale de Théâtre Jacques Lecoq in 2006 and went on to live and work in France as an actor, voice-over artist, playwright, translator and bilingual copywriter.
Jayne has received fellowships from the Ville de Paris, the Centre les Récollets, the La Napoule Art Foundation, Varuna Writers House and Bundanon, and has written for outlets including The Guardian, The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald.
Jayne graduated from the École Internationale de Théâtre Jacques Lecoq in 2006 and went on to live and work in France as an actor, voice-over artist, playwright, translator and bilingual copywriter.
Jayne has received fellowships from the Ville de Paris, the Centre les Récollets, the La Napoule Art Foundation, Varuna Writers House and Bundanon, and has written for outlets including The Guardian, The Age and The Sydney Morning Herald.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews
October 18, 2019
Thanks to Hardie Grant Books for the copy I received. Paris or Die is an evocative memoir of Jayne’s time in Paris. I wanted to eat the buttery croissants, the baguettes, the cheese and drink the wine. I felt like I was in Paris with her.
November 8, 2019
Really enjoyed this one. Was scared it was going to be another running away to Paris story but it actually had depth and resonated so much with my own story (swap Paris for Barcelona though) The honesty was raw and it was beautifully written. I devoured it in two sittings.
December 3, 2022
‘Sharp, funny, and unflinchingly honest’ is what’s listed on the back cover, and I’d agree with that 100%. I bought this book as the author’s second one had just been released, and I’ve done my thing with leaping in at book 2, being bewildered as I experience the sensation that I’ve walked into a half-finished conversation. I thought I was done with the ‘lol, ran away to France’ genre, big as it was several years ago, but the consistent good things I’d read made me go back, and I’m glad I did. This memoir, of running off to France to do a theatre course is at turns instructive (how to buy a baguette), touching (her mum), and hilarious in the view of an Australian in Paris. She falls in love, as one does, with the city and a man, although the love endures with only one of these, and is one-sided at many times with both of them. The book starts and finishes with a life-defining accident, but the how did we get from the beginning to the end is the real deal. I’m onto her second book this evening, in preparation to head to France (temporarily, and with a husband in tow.) Lost a few mini-marks for the repeated mentions of their ‘little deaths’. We get it.
March 19, 2020
I have such a massive crush on this book. Recommended for anyone who would rather be riding a bicycle aimlessly around the streets of Paris than doing whatever it is they are doing right now. Hot, honest, heartbreaking/heartbuilding. Just the best.
August 9, 2020
I've just finished Paris or Die, and I utterly adored it! It's been a beautiful thing to read while stuck, literally, at home during the pandemic, so what better alternative to find myself traipsing through Paris.
Tuttle's memoir is an honest, joyful delight, with said honesty shining on every page. Jayne lays herself bare - her rude thoughts, her fiery passions, her pains, her delights - in such a way that the book feels very both very generous and also very precious.
Jaye writes about moving into a new city, with its particularities, oddities, differences and treasures with such zeal that it's infectious. And it's beautiful watching her navigating it and, through it, herself: when she discovers that to get the best bread at the local boulangerie she has to excise any politeness, we're there with her cheering her on as she unlocks of one of Paris' unwritten rules. Later, Jayne's told that the reason people know she's not French is because she speaks with a smile in her voice, and we rejoice at her eventual acceptance of this.
The writing is bubbly, sharp, funny and often very beautiful, which I think shows most prominently in how I felt about the people who share the pages with Jayne. I loved her friends and their generosities, I was thrilled and devastated throughout her relationship with Adrien, I admired and feared her teachers. Jayne brings you in close and invites you in: the death of her mother, the freezing European cold, trips away from Paris, theater school, the falling in love, the falling in friend-love, all of which moves you along steadily and easily, with nothing going on too long, no sequence becoming hammy, and no point being ground into dust.
Jayne clearly adores language, and communicates everything clearly while also making the sentences fizz and pop. She also delights in how language can transform and highlight in translation - we learn that moth in French translates literally as night butterfly, for example. But, much like her teachers at Jacques Lecoq school, where she was required to, amongst other things, become a bushfire, Jayne also understands the power of a gesture, an action. Jayne's study and understanding of how the body works, and how it like language can be transformed in translation, means that her descriptions throughout the book are immediate, gripping and visceral. Thus when Jayne kisses her lover's cheek and feels a thousand tiny shocks of electricity, we feel that wholly, without it ever coming across as corny. I wondered if this understanding of physicality is what lent to me feeling so present while reading.
Towards the end of the novel, Jayne's best friend Kiki gets a job being a personal chef and assistant to a famous photographer named Al, which gets Jayne invited on a holiday with them. One night, Al asks Jayne to read some of her writing to her. Al is silent, possibly asleep, through most of of Jayne's works, and it's only when she reads something raw, a piece called I'm Sorry, We Still Have Time, a piece about her mother that Jayne feels is a betrayal in its attempt to capture any kind of experience, that Al says 'That's where it is, sweetie. That place.'
The place Al saw is what we as readers are lucky enough to get in this memoir: somewhere raw, unashamed, beautiful and funny.
Tuttle's memoir is an honest, joyful delight, with said honesty shining on every page. Jayne lays herself bare - her rude thoughts, her fiery passions, her pains, her delights - in such a way that the book feels very both very generous and also very precious.
Jaye writes about moving into a new city, with its particularities, oddities, differences and treasures with such zeal that it's infectious. And it's beautiful watching her navigating it and, through it, herself: when she discovers that to get the best bread at the local boulangerie she has to excise any politeness, we're there with her cheering her on as she unlocks of one of Paris' unwritten rules. Later, Jayne's told that the reason people know she's not French is because she speaks with a smile in her voice, and we rejoice at her eventual acceptance of this.
The writing is bubbly, sharp, funny and often very beautiful, which I think shows most prominently in how I felt about the people who share the pages with Jayne. I loved her friends and their generosities, I was thrilled and devastated throughout her relationship with Adrien, I admired and feared her teachers. Jayne brings you in close and invites you in: the death of her mother, the freezing European cold, trips away from Paris, theater school, the falling in love, the falling in friend-love, all of which moves you along steadily and easily, with nothing going on too long, no sequence becoming hammy, and no point being ground into dust.
Jayne clearly adores language, and communicates everything clearly while also making the sentences fizz and pop. She also delights in how language can transform and highlight in translation - we learn that moth in French translates literally as night butterfly, for example. But, much like her teachers at Jacques Lecoq school, where she was required to, amongst other things, become a bushfire, Jayne also understands the power of a gesture, an action. Jayne's study and understanding of how the body works, and how it like language can be transformed in translation, means that her descriptions throughout the book are immediate, gripping and visceral. Thus when Jayne kisses her lover's cheek and feels a thousand tiny shocks of electricity, we feel that wholly, without it ever coming across as corny. I wondered if this understanding of physicality is what lent to me feeling so present while reading.
Towards the end of the novel, Jayne's best friend Kiki gets a job being a personal chef and assistant to a famous photographer named Al, which gets Jayne invited on a holiday with them. One night, Al asks Jayne to read some of her writing to her. Al is silent, possibly asleep, through most of of Jayne's works, and it's only when she reads something raw, a piece called I'm Sorry, We Still Have Time, a piece about her mother that Jayne feels is a betrayal in its attempt to capture any kind of experience, that Al says 'That's where it is, sweetie. That place.'
The place Al saw is what we as readers are lucky enough to get in this memoir: somewhere raw, unashamed, beautiful and funny.
January 23, 2023
Vivid and real descriptions of Paris, Tuttle captures its magic and frustrations. Looking forward to reading her next book.
January 27, 2024
Loved it!
January 22, 2023
The first time Jayne goes to Paris it's kind of a solution to not knowing what else to do. Why not Paris? This sort of flinging yourself to the other side of the world with little plan was a hard relate moment for me. Didn't we all do that in our twenties?
Once her visa runs out, she returns home, to endure a heartbreaking loss. Her world shattered, and at a loss again, what to do?
Soon enough, she finds herself in Paris again. This time with a 2 year plan, lodgings and a stipend. She can step into the very real side of this city - which she does, in full. The grit and tucked away, every day descriptions make it come alive from the page.
"Where some days I dress up for the city and not for anybody else, put lipstick on for her, some eyeshadow, my nicest shoes, and just walk in her. Where the completion of a task as menial as buying a stamp and sending a letter feels like a major accomplishment. Where I feel alive, more alive than ever before."
Jayne forms a little social circle, and a regular set of eating, shopping and drinking establishments, a routine - and a gorgeous Frenchman who adores her. And hones her French.
This literary memoir of auto-fiction is compelling, and will set your own memories of Paris alight. Jayne is endearing and real, so Aussie and authentic, you cannot help but adore her too.
Through confused, upending times, and the need to stay true to herself, she begins to re-establish a Paris for herself again towards the end, before a shocking cliff-hanger ending has me glad I have the next book, in what is planned as a Trilogy.
Once her visa runs out, she returns home, to endure a heartbreaking loss. Her world shattered, and at a loss again, what to do?
Soon enough, she finds herself in Paris again. This time with a 2 year plan, lodgings and a stipend. She can step into the very real side of this city - which she does, in full. The grit and tucked away, every day descriptions make it come alive from the page.
"Where some days I dress up for the city and not for anybody else, put lipstick on for her, some eyeshadow, my nicest shoes, and just walk in her. Where the completion of a task as menial as buying a stamp and sending a letter feels like a major accomplishment. Where I feel alive, more alive than ever before."
Jayne forms a little social circle, and a regular set of eating, shopping and drinking establishments, a routine - and a gorgeous Frenchman who adores her. And hones her French.
This literary memoir of auto-fiction is compelling, and will set your own memories of Paris alight. Jayne is endearing and real, so Aussie and authentic, you cannot help but adore her too.
Through confused, upending times, and the need to stay true to herself, she begins to re-establish a Paris for herself again towards the end, before a shocking cliff-hanger ending has me glad I have the next book, in what is planned as a Trilogy.
February 14, 2021
Wow! I just want to start this book all over again. Being from Paris and having moved away, this book resonated particularly with me, but I’m sure anyone could enjoy it. It’s written so beautifully, raw and poetic. I loved following young Jayne in her Parisian adventures, with friends and boyfriend, and rediscovering my city through her eyes, as she makes it hers little by little. It made me want to jump on a bike and cycle around the streets aimlessly, only to take in Paris’ beauty and grim alike.
Everything about it is stunning, fun, poignant, inspiring. Read it at once!
Everything about it is stunning, fun, poignant, inspiring. Read it at once!
December 29, 2019
I wanted to read this, and won an uncorrected proof. How exciting, I thought, get an insider's view of an Aussie living in Paris, something I will never do in my lifetime. But I did not care for Jayne enough. I liked some of her friends; the people she met along the way were interesting, finding herself was only mildly interesting.
Unfortunately, I was only ever partially invested in this memoir, so it took a longer time to read than it should have.
Unfortunately, I was only ever partially invested in this memoir, so it took a longer time to read than it should have.
January 19, 2020
This book is beautifully written and Tuttle is masterful with her language. I loved how it gave me an insider's experience of Paris, beyond the tourist traps. It gave a real insight into the culture and the people and the pitfalls of a cross-cultural romance. Found myself wanting to eat croissants and drink wine the entire way through though! Highly recommended.
January 4, 2023
As much as this is a memoir of being a young artist in Paris, it’s equally a grief memoir as Tuttle moves to Paris soon after the death of her mother. Finding home in a foreign place is a beautiful thing to behold. Braced and bookended with the accident that abruptly ended Tuttle’s time in Paris, I was captivated by the story of becoming between.
March 19, 2020
Honest and punchy, Jayne’s incredibly personal recount of her life in Paris is totally enchanting. She somehow manages to steer clear of the dreaded “I found myself in Paris” story for something more vulnerable, heartfelt and utterly charming.
July 23, 2020
I loved this book. I couldn't put it down. I felt like I was there with Jayne as she navigated love, loss, life and everything in between. I love the rawness and honesty in this book and Jayne's all round brilliant writing.
May 24, 2024
I was gonna give this 2 stars because I thought the plot was too unbelievable but then I realised it’s a memoir and so I guess can’t argue with that.
Feel like the narrative could’ve been told in a better way. Where this shone was in its descriptions of friendship and the central relationship, which felt very real (because it was - duh). Nice as a holiday read but for a more enjoyable Australian-in-France memoir (can’t believe I’ve read more than one) I’d recommend ‘Almost French’ by Sarah Turnball which I’ve read twice and much prefer the style of.
Feel like the narrative could’ve been told in a better way. Where this shone was in its descriptions of friendship and the central relationship, which felt very real (because it was - duh). Nice as a holiday read but for a more enjoyable Australian-in-France memoir (can’t believe I’ve read more than one) I’d recommend ‘Almost French’ by Sarah Turnball which I’ve read twice and much prefer the style of.
July 21, 2025
The first time I’ve read a book that basically takes place in my neighborhood 😍 I just loved being able to envision the setting so vividly, because I walk these exact Gare de l’Est streets every day
March 19, 2020
It was laugh out loud funny in parts, steamy in others, atmospheric throughout. The book transports you to Paris for the many highs (e.g. les croissants) and the various lows (e.g. piss-filled puddles). I loved a fellow Aussie’s take on Paris and all things French.
March 8, 2024
Lovely. Evocative of my time in Paris. And crazily - Maryville Street too!
February 10, 2021
My issue with memoirs is that I get really scared not liking them because I feel like I’m saying that I don’t like someone else’s life. It’s pretty rough. And we all know that’s not the case.
I really didn’t love this, I was trying hard to continue through and by the end I wasn’t really taking much in and just reading the words. I did love the talk of Paris life, I mean who seriously wouldn’t live in Paris if they could. A beautifully, romantic city with culture, history and endless croissants 🥐. Jayne does a great job in ensuring the reader is there for every part of her journey but I just couldn’t feel it.
In other news, lots of other people have loved this so it’s definitely worth the try!
I really didn’t love this, I was trying hard to continue through and by the end I wasn’t really taking much in and just reading the words. I did love the talk of Paris life, I mean who seriously wouldn’t live in Paris if they could. A beautifully, romantic city with culture, history and endless croissants 🥐. Jayne does a great job in ensuring the reader is there for every part of her journey but I just couldn’t feel it.
In other news, lots of other people have loved this so it’s definitely worth the try!
August 16, 2020
A strong and spirited opening, lurching to a dull middle, and a sour, quick ending. Enjoyable reflection of outsiders life in Paris, but the writing is patchy, and the story loses its way somewhat. I wanted to like this book more than I actually did.
April 15, 2020
I’m always drawn to books about Paris. With good reason Paris is one of the most popular cities in the world for tourists. It always gives me a little thrill when reading a book and the author talks about a street or a landmark I have been too. This book is full of beautiful descriptions of Paris life. You can almost smell the city as you read. The book is well written and easy to read. However I did not find the descriptions of study at theatre school interesting and overall found Jayne not very likeable. Maybe I’m showing my age but at times struggled to believe Jayne was actually 30 years old and not an 18 year old pot smoking backpacker. I’m not sure why she found it necessary to talk repeatedly about masturbating and having sex but I suppose the book is her memoir. The reflections on the death of her mother were quite sad and will resonate with lots of readers. I was expecting of this book something similar to Sarah Trumbull’s Almost French which I liked better. Overall the book is worth reading and the ending seems to leave an opening for future books.
August 17, 2024
While browsing Shakepeare and Company in Paris, this book caught my attention.
I rarely read memoir but I find Tuttle's story highly relatable. Our experience of living in a foreign city (London for myself) is quite similar. We arrived at a city barely knowing anyone and immersing ourselves in a different culture. We had our struggles, especially financially ones. But despite all these difficulties, we're doing fine eventually, with the support of very nice people who we have befriended with along the way. By reading Tuttle's memoir I'm glad that I can reflect on myself and revisit all the decisions I made, which culminate in my relocation, and I don't have any regret at all.
I rarely read memoir but I find Tuttle's story highly relatable. Our experience of living in a foreign city (London for myself) is quite similar. We arrived at a city barely knowing anyone and immersing ourselves in a different culture. We had our struggles, especially financially ones. But despite all these difficulties, we're doing fine eventually, with the support of very nice people who we have befriended with along the way. By reading Tuttle's memoir I'm glad that I can reflect on myself and revisit all the decisions I made, which culminate in my relocation, and I don't have any regret at all.
January 21, 2023
Jayne Tuttle's account of a period of several years in Paris is a page turner. It's raw, and she manages to imbue even the most mundane of everyday experiences with a fresh eye and fresh language.
I found her personality at times annoying, at other admirable, sometimes vulnerable, but never dull. It reads as a completely fresh take on the done to death move-to-Paris trope. I would have liked a bit more depth/understanding of some of her friends, and even the boyfriend Adrien; it feels like they eluded me. However, there's enough going and Paris as a character is fully formed.
I found her personality at times annoying, at other admirable, sometimes vulnerable, but never dull. It reads as a completely fresh take on the done to death move-to-Paris trope. I would have liked a bit more depth/understanding of some of her friends, and even the boyfriend Adrien; it feels like they eluded me. However, there's enough going and Paris as a character is fully formed.
July 23, 2020
Run 🏃♂️ to get this from your local indie as soon as you can! I savoured every word and got deliciously lost in this rollercoaster story of love, loss and friendship that’s also a story of personal resilience and one of the city of Paris. Jayne writes with depth, beauty and insight - and she has a unique way of revealing Paris as it is in its grime as well as gloss so it feels raw and real. Fabulous writing and story.
August 26, 2021
Young woman searched for herself in a city she lo
This is a young woman trying to find herself in Paris . We laugh with her and cry a bit and get angry as she stumbled on her journey. It is for adults. At times it reads like soft porn. All in all a well written guide to individual growth with all the pain described in detail. I also love Paris and did a search of addresses and placed so I could place myself within the story.
This is a young woman trying to find herself in Paris . We laugh with her and cry a bit and get angry as she stumbled on her journey. It is for adults. At times it reads like soft porn. All in all a well written guide to individual growth with all the pain described in detail. I also love Paris and did a search of addresses and placed so I could place myself within the story.
December 7, 2025
Total immersion
This book took me on a total immersion into Jayne’s life in Paris, prior to her accident. That is no spoiler: she talks about it in the book’s preface. I actually heard her interviewed, and it drew me to her story. I am glad I read this one first (the second is My Sweet Guillotine). I think the immersion into her life gives context and richness, because she is more than what happened to her. Great self narration.
This book took me on a total immersion into Jayne’s life in Paris, prior to her accident. That is no spoiler: she talks about it in the book’s preface. I actually heard her interviewed, and it drew me to her story. I am glad I read this one first (the second is My Sweet Guillotine). I think the immersion into her life gives context and richness, because she is more than what happened to her. Great self narration.
January 31, 2021
“I want to be in Paris,” I moan while reading this. However considering everything I am very glad I’m not there at this moment. Put Paris in any form of literature and I will ingest it. Jayne Tuttle is fearless and full of gusto. She’s raw and she’s unapologetic. I wish I had it in me to pack up, move to Paris and ride my bike around Paris collecting friends, but perhaps my time will come.
May 25, 2024
Really enjoyed Paris or Die, Jayne’s first part of her life story. Loved the intimate, eloquent and at times raw account of Jayne’s story and early adult years. I admire Jayne’s courage and going out and following her dreams then hearing of how Jayne handled the ups and downs that came with her new life in Paris. Looking forward to reading the next part, My Sweet Guillotine
May 8, 2020
I couldn’t put this down. Well written. Her humour brought tears of laughter and her vulnerability and sorrows equally brought fat tears of sadness. Thanks Jayne I felt as though I was there watching from the sides. Beautiful
Highly recommend 👏🏼
Highly recommend 👏🏼
July 28, 2020
Interested to read this as the author has bought a nearby bookshop and I’ve heard good things. An entertaining read and immersive experience of Paris from the eyes of a pretty penniless (at the time!) Australian theatre student.
Displaying 1 - 30 of 72 reviews