How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference

by Allison Friederichs Atkison

Words. We use them all the time, every day, mostly without giving them much thought at all. We take for granted that they’re here at our disposal whenever we need them.

But if you’ve ever wished you could communicate more effectively, words are the place to start. It’s incumbent upon you to choose the best words to accomplish your goals, because how you choose to communicate influences—well, everything! The power of communication shapes our professional goals, our relationships, and our lives—so the words we choose to use carry a great deal of power.

Join Dr. Allison Friederichs to discover how every single interaction we have is an opportunity to use clear and compelling communication tactics. However daunting or unpredictable the situation, we have the power to strategically choose how we communicate. Every single time. And how we communicate can change everything.

Over the course of 10 lessons, you will have fun exploring words—what they offer us, where they come from, what influences their meaning and vice versa, and how to expand your vocabulary. You’ll learn how to choose the right words for every scenario, and you’ll learn how those words can revolutionize your personal and professional life.

Genres: Audiobook, Nonfiction, Communication, Writing, Self Help, Personal Development, Education

5 pages, Audible Audio

Published July 14, 2022

Reviews

[Kostas Kiousis · Rating 1 out of 5]

Some books are like Beethoven's 5th Symphony, Mozart's Requiem, or even Rachmaninov's Piano Concerto No. 3. If this book was a melody, it would be like the ones you hear inside hotels' elevators, moving from one floor to the other.
It has the inspirational flair of a recipe [not an exotic one], or a manual [though I've come across some really inspiring manuals in my life].
The "personality" of the narrator and author brings to mind that of "smiler" in the Emoji movie.
If she was a punch line, it would be: "Enough talking about me, let's talk about you; what do you think about me?".
The main narrative is that words matter, and you should use them strategically according to your purposes and goals, but without being manipulative [good luck with that].
The positive here is that it was included with my subscription and I didn't have to pay extra money for it [thank G].

[rebecca · Rating 2 out of 5]

It's a good book about linguistics, etymology and precise language, but not about how to say it. Also, the reader (author?) keeps pronouncing et cetera as exetera, even though she explicitly says that if you can't pronounce borrowed foreign words (i.e. rendezvous, faux pas, fait accompli) then DON'T USE THEM. The irony. I only listened to the end so I could give a review.

[Josh · Rating 3 out of 5]

Communicating effectively with others is one of the most important (and challenging!) tasks that we face each day. Achieving success depends on getting your message across to others and having them respond and react appropriately. How to Say it focuses on the words that we use to build our message, both their formal definition (dictionary meaning) and their connotation (what people think they mean).

How to Say it contains a few gems. It introduces the concept of disconfirming communication. Disconfirming communication occurs when you dismiss the value of the person you are communicating with; examples of disconfirming communication span from ignoring (ghosting) e-mails and messages to deliberately misunderstanding (intentionally not following directions or changing the subject). Everyone has experienced disconfirming communication in one way or another (giving someone the silent treatment), but what is missing in How to Say it are the tools and techniques to prevent and mitigate disconfirming communication.

How to Say it wanders around topics without clear direction. There is a chapter on etymology which bizarrely gets lost in the history of the military rank Colonel; How to Say it covers words with interesting histories instead of those directly related to effective communication. Additionally, despite covering the importance of accounting for gender in communication, the majority of the tips are for women and not men (I’m not sure replacing “You are welcome” with “My pleasure” with works as a man, but maybe I should try it!).

How to Say it covers an important topic, but other books cover the subject matter more directly and effectively.

[Joe Trahan · Rating 5 out of 5]

A very in depth look at words and communication. It has something for everyone ranging from general conversation to workplace communication and yes even strategic communication with friends, colleagues, family members and people you might not see eye to eye with.

[Pamela · Rating 3 out of 5]

I talk for a living and I have a fascination for words. Everything about words -- what they mean, where they come from, how they're spelled,how to use them effectively -- everything about words is endlessly interesting to me, and so I read and listen to everything I can find on the subject. Thus, I turned to this "book" in the Great Courses catalog. The author, Allison Friederichs Atkison, states her qualifications often throughout her narrative; she is superbly well-educated and widely read, and she shares my love of words. Her stated objective in the course is to teach "how to say it" so that our communication is most effective. Her speech is lively and swift, and she clearly articulates each word she uses so the hearer knows just how, precisely, to communicate most effectively. She gives examples, initiates excercises, offers multiple options, and clarifies each point she makes. In doing so, she points out how little mistakes or minor inaccuracies limit effective communication in accomplishing the writer's or speaker's goal of getting the message across. She gives insight into how language changes because of common usage, and quotes Merriam Webster on why they joyfully announce additions to the dictionary each year. She clearly practices what she preaches. With one exception: she frequently uses, or perhaps overuses, the term "et cetera", clearly and precisely pronouncing it, as it is often pronounced in common society, EK cetera. With this one term so often repeated throughout the almost 5 hours of lecture she made her ultimate point most clearly -- how we say what we say, and the word choices we make DOES DETERMINE the effectiveness of our communication.

[January · Rating 4 out of 5]

How to Say It: Words That Make a Difference by Allison Friederichs Atkison
The Great Courses
4h 44m narrated by the author

Genre: Self Help, Nonfiction, Communication, Writing, Communication & Social Skills, Words, Language & Grammar

Features: Strategic Language, Persuasive Language, Context Matters, Inspiring Language, Harmful Language, Creative Language, Underlying Goals, Denotation, Connotation, Letting Others Lead, Culture, Etymology of Words, Vocabulary Building, Redundant Language

Rating as a movie: PG

My rating: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Quotes: "One of the reasons Stephen King is a prolific horror writer is he relies on verbs to make you feel things, instead of adverbs to tell you how to feel."

My thoughts: Another audiobook I had to read before it expires from the Included catalog, which is odd to me for exclusives and originals, but it does happen. This was pretty good. It was like sitting in a classroom or conference. This is a series of lectures on how to communicate effectively by dissecting the use, evolution, and proper meanings of words and communication types.

Recommend to others?: I highly recommend this to people in leadership positions, including parents and teachers, as well as people in general, but I wouldn't pay much for it.

[Veronica Schwarz · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliant. Clear. Precise. Covers a tremendous range of topics relative to language, the brain, and how these two work, and the best ways to get them to create positive impacts and outcomes for you. No, not boring. A true delight. I will be re-reading this. Treat yourself to a fascinating, life-enhancing experience and read it.

[Soundarya Baswaraj · Rating 3 out of 5]

Kind communication only benefits if the other side is benevolent. It's not always good to put the ball in their court

[Rachel Coutinho · Rating 5 out of 5]

4.5⭐️
Practical tips on words, sequences of words and phrases on how to become more influential in communication. There is a bit of waffle but the nuggets of wisdom were worth it

[Kristin Rogers · Rating 4 out of 5]

I wish I learned these strategies and use of language when I was young!

[Melissa · Rating 2 out of 5]

this book is banal.
also, the author/narrator should learn how to pronounce "etcetera".

[Juanita · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a great book. I have no idea how I even stumbled upon it. But it is really interesting. I would reread this down the track as I am sure there are so many ideas I have not absorbed. Great book for anyone who has any interest in communication whether it be in a leadership position or you want to be a better communicator among your peers.

[Charles Reed · Rating 4 out of 5]

83%

How we use words, the language we choose, how we communicate non-verbally, verbally, are all super powerful things that we can use to enhance the quality of our communication, the lives. Big part that they don't tell you in this book, but I will emphasize, is shut the fuck up. Because the more time you spend listening, the more you can learn. You will frequently walk away from a thing. I remember Dave Carnegie telling me this, saying, do not talk to people. Just listen to them, and they'll tell you that you're a great conversationalist. It works very frequently. People don't want to hear you talk often. That's why when I want to say something, I'll look at someone's cues. I'll see if they're tensed up, if they're relaxed and ready and receptive for a question, by observing their body language. That's the non-verbal part of this. With the verbal partition, crafting and choosing your vocabulary is an extremely powerful tool. Choosing the words that are going to be in your vocabulary, choosing how you interact with others, the message that you send out and the messages that you craft by just receiving things. Since we're talking about purely output here. Because if someone perceives you as a great listener, they perceive you as a great conversationalist, because people are very focused on themselves. Since most people are just waiting for their opportunity to talk, and for you to stop talking, like, is it my turn yet? What I will counter to this, and as a supplement, is to say, when you're talking to someone, be very focused on listening and supporting them, because that is the most fundamental way that you are going to be able to send a message that is positive to someone.

[Anastasiya M · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was an absolutely gripping deep dive into a story that was as unsettling as it was fascinating. It unraveled a web of deception, power, and manipulation, exposing the darker corners of ambition and control. The narrative was immersive, walking the line between investigative journalism and psychological study, making every detail feel both chilling and impossible to ignore. The pacing was just right—fast enough to keep the tension high but steady enough to let the weight of each revelation sink in.

The themes were heavy, exploring how influence can be wielded in dangerous ways and how easily truth can be twisted to fit a more convenient narrative. The setting—both physical and psychological—added to the unease, painting a picture of a world where appearances deceive and trust is a fragile thing. The writing was sharp and direct, never sensationalizing the story but letting the facts speak for themselves. As an audiobook, it worked perfectly, pulling me in with compelling narration that made it impossible to pause. It wasn��t just a story—it was an experience, and one that lingered long after the final chapter.

Read more here: https://annietheinkdrinker.wordpress....

[Laura Buckley · Rating 3 out of 5]

Slow start. Some parts are so obvious you’d think it was marketed for a child but some bits are genuinely interesting - the gender chapter 4, etymology, and grammar choices like using verbs (although not a hard and fast rule and it doesn’t really nail what is said) instead of adjectives so that it’s not left to the reader to come up with what is meant - they are shown. There were little bits in it like that which were interesting, but you need to dive through a lot of drivel to find them. At one point there was almost a chapter (ok, not literally but…) on what IRONY is. My niece is 9, she knows what it means to be ironic, you can hold off on the examples and differences between coincidence and irony. There is a lot of repetition generally. I also found the focus on modal verbs to soften vocab a bit limp, if someone is offended by being told fact then I would recommend some therapy over the director of said conversation being given a puff thesaurus. But then again, perhaps this is why my review sounds negative, in which case, touché. I’ll give it 3/5 - after all, I wouldn’t have bothered finishing it if I didn’t think it was worth it.

[Seemy · Rating 3 out of 5]

While it might seem common sense it’s surprisingly common too to come across people or situations where they or us don’t articulate ourselves as we could have optimally — whether that be in business, personal and beyond — written or spoken — this book discusses some important things to bear in mind even if basic ..

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[Mike Cheng · Rating 2 out of 5]

Somewhat rudimentary imo, with a little too much emphasis on empathy and cultural sensitivity / political correctness. However, a couple of lectures do indeed give good basic advices about persuasion through word choice. These advices include: (i) use more verbs than adjectives because the active voice is more compelling; (ii) psychology has shown us that the word ‘because’, even when employed inanely, creates the perception of evidence and makes others comply; (iii) per Dale Carnegie, the sweetest sound is the listener’s name and so use their name frequently; (iv) words that evoke emotional responses are far more likely to stick and create the impression you wish to convey; and (v) redundancy (i.e., saying the same thing more than once) is not only inefficient but also signals a lack of confidence and precision, and so say it once and say it right.

[Alex Shrugged · Rating 3 out of 5]

It seems simpler to read a book on transactional analysis such as, "I'm OK - You're OK". Nevertheless, this is a reasonable audio course. The problem is that there are too many things to remember to make communication successful. There is really no unifying structure that a person could use to master communication. That is why I recommend reading, "I'm OK - You're OK".

I might read this audio course again.

[Ashwin Kamaldien · Rating 3 out of 5]

Friedrichs gives a great course on professional communication skills. The course reminded me of Carnegie’s classic “How to Win Friends and Influence People” but with a modern twist, and more actionable advice.

She puts forth chapters dedicated to several conversation types that people tend to struggle with. I particularly enjoyed the sections related to how we express meaning through words.
I would recommend this book as an introduction to communication sciences, but I wouldn’t put it above classics like Carnegie. The one benefit I see in this book is it’s shorter and more concise in some ways.

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this a lot, it was very informative and entertaining in places. It had a lot of useful communication tips with great explanations and background to everything.

I especially liked;
Lecture 2: how we make meaning through words
Lecture 3: language and culture
Lecture 5: the etymology of words
Lecture 7: choosing your words precisely

I learned through this that I'm not a terrible communicator, as I already do a lot of these things, but I am lazy in my word choices and I'm pretty rude! I don't take the perspective of others.

[Annie · Rating 3 out of 5]

The audiobook leans heavily into linguistics, etymology, and grammar, making it feel somewhat pedantic at times. While these topics may interest language enthusiasts, they can feel excessive for those simply looking to improve everyday communication. If the goal is to speak more clearly and effectively, a deep dive into word origins or perfectly structured grammar isn’t necessary. The audiobook could have been more impactful with a greater focus on practical, real-world speaking skills rather than academic language theory.

[Joanna · Rating 4 out of 5]

Notes:
Use the following words more
- if, could
- we, together
- Would you mind ...
- I may not …
- I will be a bit late (instead of I will be late)
- Ask for consensus: I have some ideas and would like to ask for your suggestions

Confirming message
- Instead of “Sure”, say “My pleasure”
- Change “No” to “Hmm". e.g., "Hmm...I was thinking the deadline is …, do you mind me checking on that?”

[♏Vanessa♏ · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting, but I realised that I communicate in the wrong way quite often, and use the least effective language in order to achieve my goals. I construct sentences that are far too long and repeat myself too much too, so I feel quite down now 🙄🤐😭. I feel that there was a need for more examples, so we could fully understand what she meant in practice.
Overall it was ok on catalogue plus, but I wouldn't pay for it.

[Caleb Mar · Rating 3 out of 5]

I think the reviews on this book are so funny when you can tell the person has not paid attention or valued what’s being taught.

This is book is not super revolutionary, I will say that, but it does help people who are struggling with communication and need a refresher on words and the way we use them in general.

This is a break down of words and how important they are, many people, like myself, forget that importance until we are reminded.

This book did what it set out to do.

[Claudia |✨Cushin Violeta's Bookish Realm✨ · Rating 2 out of 5]

🅼🆈 🆃🅷🅾🆄🅶🅷🆃🆂: 🄰🅄🄳🄸🄾🄱🄾🄾🄺

It's a good book but honestly, I felt like it didn't offer anything new or something that could be learned as crucial.

It does explain and puts light to communication tools and goes on to explain in detail the whys and hows of it.

I felt the lessons weren't telling something important but just talking about something that's quite commonly known, so I didn't really connect to it.

[Cristina G. · Rating 4 out of 5]

It contains useful tips on leadership, interhuman communication, relationships - delivered in an amusing way at times throughout the audiobook. There are explanations on each of the lectures not just plain information from different studies thrown at you. Broke down my belief that multitasking is a learnt skill and made me aware of the impact of our words choice.

[Baomin Li · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a useful audible book and there are some good takeaways for listeners.
One easiest thing I learn from the book: when people ask you to do something, and you are happy to do it, don't just say, "sure" or "okay", instead, say, "it's my pleasure" to express your real attitude towards the action itself.

[Lilia Popova · Rating 1 out of 5]

Why isn’t there a ZERO rating available for “books” like this! Trust me- don’t waste your time with this, i couldn’t even finish it! This book is like hearing the ads on your tv while you cook dinner -you hear the buzzing sound but nothing interesting registers in your mind. I don’t know what the purpose of this book is,to me honestly is a giant waste of time.

[Brooke · Rating 2 out of 5]

The concept of this book is better than the actual book. I think it has the fundamentals of using effective communication, but the depth of each topic is inefficient. One part described the purpose of a dictionary and thesaurus…. Pretty sure everyone choosing to read this book knows what those books are for.

[Steph · Rating 4 out of 5]

Came across this book when I was seeking guidance on how to communicate my boundaries to individuals after recent traumatic experiences. It gave me the confidence and necessary insight on the best way to express myself. It would make a great addition to new leader development as it calls out societal norms that impact how we both view others and express ourselves.