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A Love & Bullets Hookup #1
A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps
Bill is a hustler’s hustler with a taste for the high life. He pulls off big scores for one of New York City’s more vicious gangs…until he suddenly grows a conscience. However, living the clean life takes a whole lot of money, and so Bill decides to steal a fortune from his employer before skipping town. With a bag of cash in the trunk of his car, Bill heads west, ready for a new life. But all that money makes him a tempting target for some bad people he meets on the road—and if that wasn’t dangerous enough, some old friends are close behind him, and they intend to make a trophy of his head. Pursued by crooked cops, dimwitted bouncers, and a wisecracking assassin in the midst of a midlife crisis, Bill will need to be a quick study in the way of the gun if he wants to survive his own getaway. Who knew that an honest attempt at redemption could rack up a body count like this?
A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a gonzo noir journey into obsession, violence, and the power of love.
Praise for A BRUTAL BUNCH OF HEARTBROKEN SAPS:“Kolakowski’s got a gift of scratching his readers’ itch for pulpy, gut-wrenching narrative that moves a mile a minute and never lets you go. A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a hell of a yarn that sets the stage for what should be an essential series for fans of the genre.” —Angel Luis Colón, author of No Happy Endings and The Fury of Blacky Jaguar .
“Ruthless, off-the-wall and surprisingly heartfelt, A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is much more than a heist book, and showcases the skills of an emerging writer in Nick Kolakowski. Featuring memorable characters, a down-on-his-luck protagonist and a story that’s equal parts insane and sincere, Saps is the kind of book you read fast and revisit immediately to savor the experience again.” —Alex Segura, acclaimed author of Dangerous Ends and Down the Dark Street .
“ A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a hell of a ride. Put on the Elvis tunes, or your best glittery suit, and enjoy Bill's escape from the boys in New York. He's trying to ditch his life of crime but it's pretty hard to do when you have a bunch of stolen money in your trunk and a band of people on your tail. Maybe a woman could save Bill's body and soul, and all that money? Whatever the outcome, Kolakowski's fabulous writing shines and the twists and turns will keep you reading to the very last page. A wonderful, entertaining read.” —Jen Conley, author of Stories from the Edge of the Pine Barrens .
A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a gonzo noir journey into obsession, violence, and the power of love.
Praise for A BRUTAL BUNCH OF HEARTBROKEN SAPS:“Kolakowski’s got a gift of scratching his readers’ itch for pulpy, gut-wrenching narrative that moves a mile a minute and never lets you go. A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a hell of a yarn that sets the stage for what should be an essential series for fans of the genre.” —Angel Luis Colón, author of No Happy Endings and The Fury of Blacky Jaguar .
“Ruthless, off-the-wall and surprisingly heartfelt, A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is much more than a heist book, and showcases the skills of an emerging writer in Nick Kolakowski. Featuring memorable characters, a down-on-his-luck protagonist and a story that’s equal parts insane and sincere, Saps is the kind of book you read fast and revisit immediately to savor the experience again.” —Alex Segura, acclaimed author of Dangerous Ends and Down the Dark Street .
“ A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a hell of a ride. Put on the Elvis tunes, or your best glittery suit, and enjoy Bill's escape from the boys in New York. He's trying to ditch his life of crime but it's pretty hard to do when you have a bunch of stolen money in your trunk and a band of people on your tail. Maybe a woman could save Bill's body and soul, and all that money? Whatever the outcome, Kolakowski's fabulous writing shines and the twists and turns will keep you reading to the very last page. A wonderful, entertaining read.” —Jen Conley, author of Stories from the Edge of the Pine Barrens .
- GenresThriller
138 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 29, 2022
9 people are currently reading
233 people want to read
About the author
Nick Kolakowski
65 books119 followersNick Kolakowski is the author of several horror and crime novels, including “Absolute Unit” (Crystal Lake Publishing) and “Where the Bones Lie” (Datura Books). His short stories and nonfiction essays have appeared in various anthologies and magazines, including House of Gamut, Mystery Magazine, Shotgun Honey, Rock & A Hard Place, and (upcoming) Best American Mystery & Suspense 2024. He lives and writes in New York City.
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Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews
July 22, 2018
This is crime fiction galore. Yes, it's a story about a guy who embezzled millions from the mob and is now on the run with all the hellhounds of hell on his trail. Yes, not only are the mob enforcers and hit men after him but he's stepped into a backwoods torture chamber where the locals don't give a crap about any outsiders. And if that's not enough of a rip roaring adventure for you, just close your eyes and picture Elvis in his later years all jumpsuit sequined up with a rocket launcher.
This novellete has got a whole lotta fun going on. The pace is frenetic. The full scale battle never lets up and there is simply no relaxation. Just get your motor running and get ready for action.
This novellete has got a whole lotta fun going on. The pace is frenetic. The full scale battle never lets up and there is simply no relaxation. Just get your motor running and get ready for action.
March 3, 2021
This is crime fiction galore. Yes, it's a story about a guy who embezzled millions from the mob and is now on the run with all the hellhounds of hell on his trail. Yes, not only are the mob enforcers and hit men after him but he's stepped into a backwoods torture chamber where the locals don't give a crap about any outsiders. And if that's not enough of a rip roaring adventure for you, just close your eyes and picture Elvis in his later years all jumpsuit sequined up with a rocket launcher.
This novellete has got a whole lotta fun going on. The pace is frenetic. The full scale battle never lets up and there is simply no relaxation. Just get your motor running and get ready for action.
At first, the switching between two first-person points of view was a little confusing. But overall it was just such a blast to read anyway.
This novellete has got a whole lotta fun going on. The pace is frenetic. The full scale battle never lets up and there is simply no relaxation. Just get your motor running and get ready for action.
At first, the switching between two first-person points of view was a little confusing. But overall it was just such a blast to read anyway.
May 24, 2017
Elvis with a rocket launcher.
Do I really need to say more? You either read a line like the one above and know this book is for you, or you're a person I really don't want to know.
Nick Kolakowski crafts a hell of a tale here, one that doesn't let up until the last man is dead and in hell (and even then...). This is is no small feat considering there are a multiple point of views, but somehow it works here. Probably because each character, from Elvis, the hitman who hates to be called a hitman, to Bill and Fiona, two of the screwiest couple I've read in a while, are a blast to get to know. And wonder if they're going get together or kill each other at the end.
This appears to be the start of a series, and I for one can't wait to read the ensuing tales. And hope that somehow The King makes a reappearance.
Do I really need to say more? You either read a line like the one above and know this book is for you, or you're a person I really don't want to know.
Nick Kolakowski crafts a hell of a tale here, one that doesn't let up until the last man is dead and in hell (and even then...). This is is no small feat considering there are a multiple point of views, but somehow it works here. Probably because each character, from Elvis, the hitman who hates to be called a hitman, to Bill and Fiona, two of the screwiest couple I've read in a while, are a blast to get to know. And wonder if they're going get together or kill each other at the end.
This appears to be the start of a series, and I for one can't wait to read the ensuing tales. And hope that somehow The King makes a reappearance.
May 3, 2017
Kolakowski follows up his cracking debut short story collection with a full-on slice of hard-boiled pulp fiction. Blackly comic, violent and jam-packed with richly drawn characters, A Brutal Bunch Of Heartbroken Saps is a hell of a read.
July 28, 2017
Being a confirmed fan of deep down and dirty hardboiled American crime, and in the style of Castle Freeman’s Go With Me, or Denis Johnson’s Nobody Move, Kolakowski ticks all the boxes in this pert and stripped down tale of cross and double cross. Inhabited by a marvellous cast of emotionally battered, violent, scheming, characters all on the make, and up to their necks in trouble, the story veers between biting, razor sharp humour, punchy visceral violence, and a strangely unsettling probing of the character’s inner lives exposing a strange degree of emotional frailty, and the need to be loved. Despite being a relatively slim read, Kolakowski packs it to the gills with movement and action, and also has the good sense to include a feisty kick-assing female character in the testosterone -fuelled mix, who proves a perfect foil to the hapless Bill.
It’s a maelstrom of fast, furious action with Coen-esque tendencies that I whipped through at a cracking pace, fully appreciative of the more surreal concept of a hitman in strange attire that comes out of nowhere, before a brilliantly violent, and strangely pathos filled conclusion.
I have my concerns over how Kolakowski’s mind works, but I found this deliciously deranged and very pleasing indeed. Worryingly, perhaps this also says something about me. Recommended.
It’s a maelstrom of fast, furious action with Coen-esque tendencies that I whipped through at a cracking pace, fully appreciative of the more surreal concept of a hitman in strange attire that comes out of nowhere, before a brilliantly violent, and strangely pathos filled conclusion.
I have my concerns over how Kolakowski’s mind works, but I found this deliciously deranged and very pleasing indeed. Worryingly, perhaps this also says something about me. Recommended.
June 7, 2017
A highly entertaining romp. The cast is not unusual -- a man with stolen mob money, the hitman, the dame -- but Kolakowski's writing makes everything new, vibrant, and un-put-downable till the finish. This Nick K guy writes first person almost as smoothly as F. Scott Fitzgerald. Swear to the god of writers. My favorite first person account ever is The Great Gatsby, and I think one day Kolakowski could write something as good or better. He writes first person like Willie Mays played centerfield. It looks SOOOO easy.
January 25, 2019
★ ★ ★ 1/2 (rounded up)
This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
---
Bill is a con man, a hustler, a grifter with a gift -- one that has been put to good use by the Rockaway Mob until the day that Bill has had enough. He just can't keep going the way he's been going. So he leaves New York and heads off on his secret plan to leave the country. Of course, before he left town, he helped himself to a large amount of the Mob's money to fund his retirement. Which is as popular a choice as you can expect.
Only . . . his plan isn't as secret as he thinks and people are on his tail immediately. A pair of employees are sent to take care of Bill and retrieve the cash. And then another is shooter is sent before those first two have even had a chance to fail. And it's a good thing that happened.
Which is all I should probably say about the plot. Very little goes the way you think it'll go once things get rolling. What follows is fast, fun and violent. It's the least subtle critique of civil forfeiture possible -- and a whole host of other things.
The backup assassin is our entry into this world, these characters -- .he's notorious, he's infamous, he's "that guy." And . . . he's kind of falling apart -- his wife can't handle his vocation any more and is divorcing him. His point of view chapters are a mix of attitude, a little snark, mayhem and despondency. Somehow, that mix is a blast.
On the other hand, we have Bill -- who you somehow can't believe was ever brought into the fold by the Rockaway Mob, but he's clearly good at what he does. But little else, it seems. He has a real knack for moving from fire to fireplace to somewhere hotter yet. One of the other assassins sent after him was the one who brought him to the Rockaway Mob, who vouched for him. Her name is Fiona, and she's one of the fiercest, deadly, aggressive characters you've met recently -- and at least until recently, was in love with Bill (not that he treated her too well in his exit, and probably cooled her affections as a result).
This is a novella -- and there's not a lot of space for character development, for fully drawing out a character -- and while these three aren't as well drawn as Kolakowski has in other work, they're good enough for what he's wanting to accomplish here. (I hope that doesn't sound like a slight -- it's not supposed to be). They may not be fully drawn, but they're a lot of fun -- and there's some intriguing emotional beats between them and some of the other characters in these pages.
This book is primarily an exercise in violence -- there's a hint of torture, just a hint (but most of it happens off-screen). What's not hinted at are explosions and gunfire. There's a lot of it -- the literary equivalent of so much of the stylized cinematic violence inspired by Tarantino in the 90's. It's adrenaline set to music -- think Edgar Wright action scenes, but more lethal -- to skip a couple of decades (actually, I bet this novella would pair well with much of the Baby Driver soundtrack).
I had a hard time accepting how the last few chapters went, because I had the wrong idea about what Kolakowski was up to with this book (and, I bet, the next two books that follow). But I had a blast with it -- even the last chapters, once I gave up my preconceptions.
This is a fast, lean novella -- there's not an ounce of fat, not one unnecessary sentence to this. Kolakowski has a story to tell and he tells it. I knew going in that this was going to be a fast read, but I couldn't believe how quickly I got through it -- between the lean prose, the fast pace of the book and the action scenes, this was just a bullet train of a read (no pun intended).
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the author. My opinions expressed above are my own. I appreciate the book, but I didn't sell out my opinions because of that..
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This originally appeared at The Irresponsible Reader.
---
Bill is a con man, a hustler, a grifter with a gift -- one that has been put to good use by the Rockaway Mob until the day that Bill has had enough. He just can't keep going the way he's been going. So he leaves New York and heads off on his secret plan to leave the country. Of course, before he left town, he helped himself to a large amount of the Mob's money to fund his retirement. Which is as popular a choice as you can expect.
Only . . . his plan isn't as secret as he thinks and people are on his tail immediately. A pair of employees are sent to take care of Bill and retrieve the cash. And then another is shooter is sent before those first two have even had a chance to fail. And it's a good thing that happened.
Which is all I should probably say about the plot. Very little goes the way you think it'll go once things get rolling. What follows is fast, fun and violent. It's the least subtle critique of civil forfeiture possible -- and a whole host of other things.
The backup assassin is our entry into this world, these characters -- .he's notorious, he's infamous, he's "that guy." And . . . he's kind of falling apart -- his wife can't handle his vocation any more and is divorcing him. His point of view chapters are a mix of attitude, a little snark, mayhem and despondency. Somehow, that mix is a blast.
On the other hand, we have Bill -- who you somehow can't believe was ever brought into the fold by the Rockaway Mob, but he's clearly good at what he does. But little else, it seems. He has a real knack for moving from fire to fireplace to somewhere hotter yet. One of the other assassins sent after him was the one who brought him to the Rockaway Mob, who vouched for him. Her name is Fiona, and she's one of the fiercest, deadly, aggressive characters you've met recently -- and at least until recently, was in love with Bill (not that he treated her too well in his exit, and probably cooled her affections as a result).
This is a novella -- and there's not a lot of space for character development, for fully drawing out a character -- and while these three aren't as well drawn as Kolakowski has in other work, they're good enough for what he's wanting to accomplish here. (I hope that doesn't sound like a slight -- it's not supposed to be). They may not be fully drawn, but they're a lot of fun -- and there's some intriguing emotional beats between them and some of the other characters in these pages.
This book is primarily an exercise in violence -- there's a hint of torture, just a hint (but most of it happens off-screen). What's not hinted at are explosions and gunfire. There's a lot of it -- the literary equivalent of so much of the stylized cinematic violence inspired by Tarantino in the 90's. It's adrenaline set to music -- think Edgar Wright action scenes, but more lethal -- to skip a couple of decades (actually, I bet this novella would pair well with much of the Baby Driver soundtrack).
I had a hard time accepting how the last few chapters went, because I had the wrong idea about what Kolakowski was up to with this book (and, I bet, the next two books that follow). But I had a blast with it -- even the last chapters, once I gave up my preconceptions.
This is a fast, lean novella -- there's not an ounce of fat, not one unnecessary sentence to this. Kolakowski has a story to tell and he tells it. I knew going in that this was going to be a fast read, but I couldn't believe how quickly I got through it -- between the lean prose, the fast pace of the book and the action scenes, this was just a bullet train of a read (no pun intended).
Disclaimer: I received a copy of this book from the author. My opinions expressed above are my own. I appreciate the book, but I didn't sell out my opinions because of that..
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November 8, 2018
Bill, Fiona, and the King? What more could go wrong? Or right I should say. A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps is a tight little punch to the jaw I thoroughly enjoyed. It blew by in two sittings, the story humming along at a great clip. Not for everyone, no, but may favorite line being, in reference to the King: his heart popping like a sad balloon as he strained to squeeze out a final nugget.
Man, if you can't appreciate a line like that, then hey, I will agree this book is not for you. I might suggest you try it anyway, you know, just to be sure. Anyway, go forth. Seek out. Purchase and enjoy.
Man, if you can't appreciate a line like that, then hey, I will agree this book is not for you. I might suggest you try it anyway, you know, just to be sure. Anyway, go forth. Seek out. Purchase and enjoy.
April 12, 2022
This is such a fun read. Wacky characters: A hitman who thinks it's a good idea to dress as Elvis? A lady killer in love with her target? An under duress quip-spouting conman? You get attached to these people and the writing is hilarious. One regret: it's too short!
February 9, 2024
Finished this long novella in one go. Loved the perfect mix of interesting characters, dark humor, and nonstop shenanigans. Plain old *fun* storytelling. A wild ride that I can’t recommend enough. Looking forward to the next book in the series.
June 23, 2025
What a trip..... 4.5 stars
February 5, 2018
Fun little book.
I had fun reading this. The story was fast-paced and exciting.
I had fun reading this. The story was fast-paced and exciting.
May 13, 2017
I would have wanted to be there. For when Cormac McCarthy and Elmore Leonard had a fist fight in Nick Kolakowski's brain. Of course, I was not there, but thankfully Mr. Kolakowski had the presence of mind to write down the results of that epic throw down.
'A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps' sets us on a chase full of twists and turns with a set of unlikely characters in even more unlikely settings. From the first page to the last you are on a full throttle race through a world that most of us are fortunate enough not to occupy.
Nick Kolakowski puts us in the drivers seats as he puts us through twists and turns with his trademark wit turned to eleven. I highly recommend his latest release 'A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps.'
'A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps' sets us on a chase full of twists and turns with a set of unlikely characters in even more unlikely settings. From the first page to the last you are on a full throttle race through a world that most of us are fortunate enough not to occupy.
Nick Kolakowski puts us in the drivers seats as he puts us through twists and turns with his trademark wit turned to eleven. I highly recommend his latest release 'A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps.'
October 28, 2017
Pretty good real. This is about a guy named Bill who is a con man and decides to ripoff the gang that he works for in New York City. Things are going pretty good til he stops off in a small town and then he gets kidnapped and ripped off.All the while there are two people after him hired by his previous boss, and another man that is after him. Well,you are going to have to find out what the rest of the story is about, also where his severed finger comes into play.
October 8, 2018
Strangely entertaining, with enough twists and turns to make it interesting. This very short Story covers just a short amount of time but it is filled with plenty of gritty action and sappy jokes.
February 7, 2019
Plain and simple a fun damn book. Action packed and exciting.
July 1, 2019
Fun stuff. Gotta get the next one.
August 3, 2017
I just turned the final page of Nick Kolakowski’s, A Brutal Bunch of Heartbroken Saps from Shotgun Honey and I am left with the feeling that I will watching out for his next book every day until news breaks it’s coming out. This novella is a lightening quick read and it’s full of memorable characters, great witty dialogue, and a plot which never lets off the throttle.
The plot is a strange one to sum up, as it’s simple in many ways, yet has quite a few complexities that keep the reader guessing where Kolakowski is taking them next. Bill comes to and finds himself chained up and dangling upside in an apparent robbery attempt. His backstory emerges that he has tried to rob a syndicate of a lot of money and make himself nothing more than a memory. In his attempt to vanish, car trouble forces him to stop in a rundown town and trouble ensues. He finds himself running from a crooked sheriff, a former lover may or may not be planning on killing him, and hitmen sent by the bad guys to retrieve the stolen money. Violence, hilarity, and a shitload of fun for the reader follow in short order.
I have to be honest, Kolakowski is a brand-new author to me. A bit of research tells me he has written some short stories in a few anthologies I have read, but for whatever reason, none of his stories have stuck with me. Sometimes all you need is more an awareness of an author to enjoy their work on a more personal level, so I am making it my business to seek out some of his older work and dive in. I have his noir collection, Somebody’s Trying to Kill Me, locked and loaded on my E-Reader, so I am anticipating a great weekend of reading in the near future.
With the warmer weather approaching, and a few beach days on the horizon, you would be doing yourself a favor to grab a copy of this novella and enjoy it in one sitting while you nurse a cold one.
Recommended.
The plot is a strange one to sum up, as it’s simple in many ways, yet has quite a few complexities that keep the reader guessing where Kolakowski is taking them next. Bill comes to and finds himself chained up and dangling upside in an apparent robbery attempt. His backstory emerges that he has tried to rob a syndicate of a lot of money and make himself nothing more than a memory. In his attempt to vanish, car trouble forces him to stop in a rundown town and trouble ensues. He finds himself running from a crooked sheriff, a former lover may or may not be planning on killing him, and hitmen sent by the bad guys to retrieve the stolen money. Violence, hilarity, and a shitload of fun for the reader follow in short order.
I have to be honest, Kolakowski is a brand-new author to me. A bit of research tells me he has written some short stories in a few anthologies I have read, but for whatever reason, none of his stories have stuck with me. Sometimes all you need is more an awareness of an author to enjoy their work on a more personal level, so I am making it my business to seek out some of his older work and dive in. I have his noir collection, Somebody’s Trying to Kill Me, locked and loaded on my E-Reader, so I am anticipating a great weekend of reading in the near future.
With the warmer weather approaching, and a few beach days on the horizon, you would be doing yourself a favor to grab a copy of this novella and enjoy it in one sitting while you nurse a cold one.
Recommended.
January 29, 2022
I wish this had been a full length novel. The characters and quick wit and bad jokes propel these characters off the page and into your mind.
Nick has created great characters here including "Elvis" himself appearing (well at least version off Elvis).
Running from gangsters is already hard but it gets harder than that for the cast of this book near the end.
Read and envision the cast and crew as they dance in Texas.
Nick has created great characters here including "Elvis" himself appearing (well at least version off Elvis).
Running from gangsters is already hard but it gets harder than that for the cast of this book near the end.
Read and envision the cast and crew as they dance in Texas.
November 10, 2022
A good idea for a story, but not something I normally would've read. It was short, quick-witted, and had an interesting premise. Overall, it seemed like a good book, but personally, I'd have rather been reading something that has a more fleshed-out storyline.
May 19, 2022
Quite an interesting story!
Displaying 1 - 21 of 21 reviews