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201 pages, Paperback
Published October 14, 2022
Over the last four years, the87press’ bold and daring challenge to the failure of diversity and inclusion initiatives has been well received by a growing international grassroots readership. the87press focuses attention across spectrums of underrepresentation, featuring regular work from racialised, LGBTQ+, Neurodiverse, and working class writers across genres, forms, and contexts. This event marks the beginning of the fifth year of operations, against the backdrop of an increasingly hostile climate for the arts and humanities.
Lang was a man of science. But, in that first incision, a fleeting feeling arose; complex, multifaceted, yet fleeting nonetheless. All the compartments of his life began to collapse into one another; his own flesh opening beneath his instrument, his insides mixing with the air around him. A word he hated: contamination. Exposure. He nearly pulled the scalpel away, but the thing passed – he relaxed. He’d had a coffee later than normal, he was just jittery. This body is very well preserved, remarkably so, but that is no cause for alarm. These things happen. He shook his head side to side a little, and as he returned steadily to the performance of tasks that had long ago become habitual – the slicing, the peeling back, the extracting, the measuring, the stitching back together – his mind began to wander, the film of memory beginning to play
That thing she was telling me the other day, what was it, something about redistributing matter – the redistribution of matter – yes, you know I couldn’t stop thinking about it after she said it! But then I started to feel worried, and I couldn’t stop thinking about all the things that are not matter – the immeasurable things, and I started to think about what is lost, other than matter, which as you know, breaks down, becomes other. But what about that which was not matter to begin with, you know, the inner life, all of that. All of that too becomes lost. And I couldn’t stop thinking that no, surely it isn’t lost, it can’t just be obliterated like that. A whole life – the dreams we don’t remember, the fantasies that unspool in our heads before we fall asleep. The thoughts we have that are too terrible to name. The memories, memories of things that happened when we were the only ones there to witness them. Things that leave no record. The invisible things that expand within the self. They cannot disappear, that can’t simply vanish. Tell me, Doctor, where do they go? I am not religious, I will not say the soul. But the inner life, that suffuses the whole body. The limbs, the organs… all the desire that animates the flesh and voice. Oh, I am very worried about it