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Ask Your Husband: A Wife’s Guide to True Femininity
There is, perhaps, no more controversial statement today than “the husband is the boss of his wife.” In Ask Your Husband , Mrs. Timothy J. Gordon explains how this proposition proves to be required by Scripture and by two millennia of Catholic teaching. Ask Your Husband instructs Catholic wives how properly to serve their husbands in Christian by emulating our Lady and by embracing the household patriarchy, just as she did. Ask Your Husband is a counter-cultural manifesto of the domicile. Against the fetid rot of feminism, Christian wives should employ this book in their labors to rehabilitate the wayward popular Christian view of their sexual roles, their souls, their marriages, and their mothering.
“In 2,000 years of Christianity, this book will be considered a tour de force as it relates to authentic Catholic Christian femininity.”
-Jesse Romero
Retired Los Angeles Deputy Sheriff, Catholic lay evangelist
“ Ask Your Husband had the synapses in my brain connecting and my neurotransmitters lighting up. Finally, a woman writes what I have known and felt inside my soul for decades! This book clearly explains the role and structure of the male—husband, father, patriarch—and the female—wife, mother, matriarch, ‘helpmate’ (cf. Genesis 2:18). I congratulate Stephanie Gordon for her intellectual integrity and her respect for the evidence from divine natural law and divine revelation. This book contains wisdom and insight and moral clarity (and should be used by Catholic therapists in their counseling practices with both male and female patients). Had Gloria Steinem or Betty Friedan enjoyed access to the information in this book, there would never been a mainstream feminist revolution. Being a Catholic woman is neither bondage nor slavery, but rather ‘freedom in Christ’ (cf. Galatians 5:1).”
-Anita Romero
Retired Los Angeles County Nurse and wife, mother, grandmother, and manager to Jesse Romero
"As a strong woman, I applaud Stephanie's foray into an exploration of God's design for women in the midst of a hostile culture that hates everything about His Will and His ways for marriage. Every woman who reads this will find a better way to live and will know the great graces God has destined for those women who dare to live out the authentic design of God in their marriage."
-Stephanie Burke
Co-host, Divine Intimacy Radio
"Stephanie Gordon's Ask Your Husband is a brave, powerful book. In a world bullied by feminism, Mrs. Gordon has the courage and grace to say, 'ask your husband.' Imparting a precious secret—since the Church's words on the subject have effectively become a secret— Ask
Your Husband offers practical wisdom for living out a marriage of best friends in a divinely ordered patriarchy. This is a book filled with intelligence, wisdom, and that special brand of sanity which has today become a 'thoughtcrime.’”
-Julia Meloni
Author, The St. Gallen Mafia
“Mrs. Gordon’s witty and insightful Ask Your Husband exposes the modern lie of the ‘necessity’ of a dual-income household, while unveiling the beautiful Catholic vision of married life. As a Catholic priest and pastor, my care for souls and their sanctification through marriage has been renewed by this heartfelt work.”
⁃ Fr. Paul A. Clark
Archdiocese of New Orleans
“In 2,000 years of Christianity, this book will be considered a tour de force as it relates to authentic Catholic Christian femininity.”
-Jesse Romero
Retired Los Angeles Deputy Sheriff, Catholic lay evangelist
“ Ask Your Husband had the synapses in my brain connecting and my neurotransmitters lighting up. Finally, a woman writes what I have known and felt inside my soul for decades! This book clearly explains the role and structure of the male—husband, father, patriarch—and the female—wife, mother, matriarch, ‘helpmate’ (cf. Genesis 2:18). I congratulate Stephanie Gordon for her intellectual integrity and her respect for the evidence from divine natural law and divine revelation. This book contains wisdom and insight and moral clarity (and should be used by Catholic therapists in their counseling practices with both male and female patients). Had Gloria Steinem or Betty Friedan enjoyed access to the information in this book, there would never been a mainstream feminist revolution. Being a Catholic woman is neither bondage nor slavery, but rather ‘freedom in Christ’ (cf. Galatians 5:1).”
-Anita Romero
Retired Los Angeles County Nurse and wife, mother, grandmother, and manager to Jesse Romero
"As a strong woman, I applaud Stephanie's foray into an exploration of God's design for women in the midst of a hostile culture that hates everything about His Will and His ways for marriage. Every woman who reads this will find a better way to live and will know the great graces God has destined for those women who dare to live out the authentic design of God in their marriage."
-Stephanie Burke
Co-host, Divine Intimacy Radio
"Stephanie Gordon's Ask Your Husband is a brave, powerful book. In a world bullied by feminism, Mrs. Gordon has the courage and grace to say, 'ask your husband.' Imparting a precious secret—since the Church's words on the subject have effectively become a secret— Ask
Your Husband offers practical wisdom for living out a marriage of best friends in a divinely ordered patriarchy. This is a book filled with intelligence, wisdom, and that special brand of sanity which has today become a 'thoughtcrime.’”
-Julia Meloni
Author, The St. Gallen Mafia
“Mrs. Gordon’s witty and insightful Ask Your Husband exposes the modern lie of the ‘necessity’ of a dual-income household, while unveiling the beautiful Catholic vision of married life. As a Catholic priest and pastor, my care for souls and their sanctification through marriage has been renewed by this heartfelt work.”
⁃ Fr. Paul A. Clark
Archdiocese of New Orleans
288 pages, Paperback
Published May 11, 2022
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Displaying 1 - 14 of 14 reviews
February 12, 2025
2025 EDIT: While this book has some merits, I highly recommend reading Carrie Gress' books on Feminism (The End of Woman: How Smashing the Patriarchy Has Destroyed Us] ) as well as, if not instead of, this book.
2024 EDIT: I do think she could have been a bit less, aggressive in her tone overall. Telling the truth with charity is always the best way to be able to reach people. But I am glad she wrote this book, as most of what she says is something women don't hear...
3.5 Stars: 5 Star message (for the most part) but 3 star delivery and tone.
---------------
This one took me awhile to read, mainly because there was so much I wanted to soak up - so much wisdom !! I used up so many sticky notes while reading this book... and I probably hurt my neck nodding in agreement to most of the authors quips and one-liners.
I've been wanting to read this book for awhile now (ever since Tim began talking about it on his YouTube channel "Rules for Retrogrades") and, even though I consider myself an anti-feminist, and was born and raised in a pretty conservative household, this book still had so much wisdom and so many gems that I had never heard of! I consider this book a goldmine honestly. If I ever get married (God willing) and homeschool my own children, I think that this book would be a great schoolbook for my girls! Actually, Catholic homeschool curriculums, like Seton Home Study, should totally pick this up as a schoolbook! And then they should pick up Tim's book, The Case for Patriarchy (which I am reading next!) as a schoolbook for the boys! Seriously.
I can't say that some things in this book didn't make me squirm- its never easy to be faced with your own personal vices and bad habits that need to be confronted - but I can't tell you how refreshing it was to read something that didn't just try to coddle me and "my feelings" while telling me nothing of value in the end. I've read so many books by well-meaning Catholic women that, in the end, just fall flat for me because its written in such a way that they don't want to offend, and they end up saying nothing at all except "Jesus loves you!". I don't know... maybe it's just me. I want to know what the Church teaches concerning women! I don't want to be "shielded" from what others may think may "offend" me. Just the fact that so many Catholics do this is, in itself, offensive.
Moving on..
Let me share with you some of my favorite quotes from the book:
1. (The) "shock" at the simple description of Christian marriage tells the true narrative of what feminism has done to the popular view of men and women. (page 4)
2. We live in a world with "thin skins and strong stomachs." as my husband likes to say. As such, we have strong stomachs for anything that brings us illicit pleasure and thin skins for anything that gives us offense. (page 76)
3. If the popular culture hates anything in this world more than a Christian man enjoying his headship over a grateful, happy, dutiful, and obedient wife, let me know. Conversely, if the left loves anything more than the universal abidance of their preferences (un-biological pronouns, various sexual debaucheries, murder of the innocent, ect.), let me know. (page 173)
4. The first mark of a happy home is not organically, hand-washed laundering but rather the close union of its head and its heart. (page 198)
5. Sisters in Christ can laugh, disagree, cry, debate, and empathize all in one afternoon gathering and emerge better friends for it. (page 267)
Oh gosh, I could quote this entire book. (On the majority of the pages I have more than one sticky note!!) But on to my favorite things about this book, because I am too lazy to write a coherent, professional review.
What I Loved
* Not only is "Mrs. Gordon" 's writing easy to read and follow, it felt like a wise, old sister was giving me advice that I needed (much like one of my favorite youtubers, "Mrs. Midwest.") It was to the point, relatable, funny at times, and, most importantly, rooted in Church Teaching. I loved how I felt I could easily get along with the author if we met at a pot luck after Sunday Mass. It was comforting to read such, at times hard to heard, advice and Catholic truth from someone like that. There aren't enough Catholic women out there who not only desire to know the whole Truth of what the Church teaches, but also have a good sense of humor and enjoy a good belly laugh!
* The Chapter "Inerrant Catholic Teaching versus Working Wives" was very eye opening! I had done quite a bit of my own research into Papal letters and encyclicals for my own book, but I had never heard of some of these! What a goldmine! The section that quoted from Pope St. John Paul II was especially interesting. It's funny how we get so used to a narrative that repeats certain quotes from certain saints and Popes, that when we actually go back and read the saints writing in its entirety that it doesn't even go along with the narrative in the first place. Talk about a plot twist.
I also really appreciated how the author went down a list of Popes, as well, including "Post Vatican II" Popes, showing that these teachings didn't suddenly become null after Vatican II. It's really quite mind-blowing when you read the actual documents from the Church and it is actually the total opposite of what the majority of Church members have been "teaching". But I suppose it's like that for most of Catholic Teaching. Bottom line - read the official Church Documents, writings of the Fathers and Doctors of the Church, and Papal encyclicals!! Because it seems that many prominent Catholics out there haven't, and are instead, preaching what the world says is true and not what the Church says is true.
* "The Leader Who Won't Lead" chapter is so helpful. It answered many of my own questions on the issue. The author noted, truthfully, that the portrayal of the Christian husband by the godless left is pretty far from reality; Christian men are hardly bullying, male-chauvinists. As the section is titled, the "Most Common Situation" is "No Alpha in Your Beta Soup." She explains that "many modern men are followers and not leaders." This, I have certainly noticed everywhere, and it grieves me. Oh to see the day when Christian men rise up and take their responsibilities! And, in turn, Christian women embrace their own vocations as well!
* The section where the author quotes St. Josemaria Escriva is so, so good! It is not only helpful, but St. Josemaria wrote with such a clarity, and such an understanding of the daily struggles, that his advice is stellar.
* I could probably just save a lot of time and just say that I loved the whole book...
Complaints Concerning This Book
I've read some angry reviews and comments concerning this book, and now that I've finally read it myself, I'd like to counter some of them. I'm not saying these women didn't read the book but... their comments are literally the opposite of what I found in the book.
1. "'Mrs Gordon' is a hypocrite because she's writing a book when she says women shouldn't be working outside the home."
Really though, Mrs. Gordon dedicates an entire chapter on this very question and explains it fully. Spoiler alert: She's not a hypocrite. Please read the book, not just the blurb.
2. "This book totally goes against Church Teaching and the Bible!"
Goodness. I really don't know where this comes from to be honest. Not only is there an entire chapter (Chapter 5: Inerrant Church Teaching versus Working Wives) where the author dives deep into literal Church teaching, which not only supports the claims that the author makes in this book, but it seems to use even "harsher" tones than the author herself in some instances. And concerning the Bible? The author quotes from the Bible throughout the book, especially in the second Chapter, and pages 105 - 121 which is jam packed with scripture that supports the author. And again, the reader is given the impression that this book is instead writing about Church Teaching (which of course includes the Bible), instead of Church Teaching coming in and supporting the views of the author. If that makes sense?
3. "The author of this book promotes wife-beatings / abusive marriages."
Yeah, not really sure where they got this one... the whole book (especially Chapter 3, that speaks on how husband and wife should be best friends) promotes a Christian marriage. Last I checked, it was Christianity that began changing how the pagan world viewed women in marriage.
Not only does the author clearly show marriage as one of mutual love, respect, deep friendship, and holiness but she includes a whole section "Less Common and More Important: Submission When There Is Abuse, Neglect, or Addiction" starting on page 245, where she says, "The wife may, according to Church Teaching, protect her soul and body in instances where the husband is putting either in grave danger." (page 246) The whole section is well worth the read.
4. "The author annoyingly shows off her perfect marriage and expects all of us to live as she does"
Didn't see any of this, to be honest. The author clearly explains Church Teaching on the topic of marriage, women, submission, ect, and then gives examples of how she tries to put the Church's directives into practice in her own marriage, while stating "(here) is my unfashionable 'cutting-corners-laundry-list.' I'm sure many of you have developed lists similar to mine. Like many of you, over time I've added incrementally an item or two to my list -- usually after a new child is born." It was a helpful example of how she tries to put her husband and children first. An example. Not a dogma-that-every-wife-must-follow. Again, back to one of the quotes I shared above, "The first mark of a happy home is not organically, hand-washed laundering but rather the close union of its head and its heart. (page 198)" Close union? That doesn't sound abusive to me. The only thing the author might be "guilty" of is working hard at her own marriage and *gasp* reaping the good fruits.
Conclusion
This book is one that every Christian woman should read. It isn't fluff. It explains Church Teaching in an honest, down-to-earth way. And if women are truly getting angry about this book, then they are either confused as to what the Church really teaches on the matter or they simply haven't read the book in its entirety. It makes me sad that so many women have been raised in such feminized homes, that the idea of a rightly-ordered household, with the husband as leader and protector is something that makes then angry. The peace that comes from this rightly-ordered household is something that most women have never experienced and therefore, they seem to think its something they must rebel against. But let us take care. Let us open our wounded, feminized hearts to the Teaching of the Catholic Church. Pray about it, and then read this book!
2024 EDIT: I do think she could have been a bit less, aggressive in her tone overall. Telling the truth with charity is always the best way to be able to reach people. But I am glad she wrote this book, as most of what she says is something women don't hear...
3.5 Stars: 5 Star message (for the most part) but 3 star delivery and tone.
---------------
This one took me awhile to read, mainly because there was so much I wanted to soak up - so much wisdom !! I used up so many sticky notes while reading this book... and I probably hurt my neck nodding in agreement to most of the authors quips and one-liners.
I've been wanting to read this book for awhile now (ever since Tim began talking about it on his YouTube channel "Rules for Retrogrades") and, even though I consider myself an anti-feminist, and was born and raised in a pretty conservative household, this book still had so much wisdom and so many gems that I had never heard of! I consider this book a goldmine honestly. If I ever get married (God willing) and homeschool my own children, I think that this book would be a great schoolbook for my girls! Actually, Catholic homeschool curriculums, like Seton Home Study, should totally pick this up as a schoolbook! And then they should pick up Tim's book, The Case for Patriarchy (which I am reading next!) as a schoolbook for the boys! Seriously.
I can't say that some things in this book didn't make me squirm- its never easy to be faced with your own personal vices and bad habits that need to be confronted - but I can't tell you how refreshing it was to read something that didn't just try to coddle me and "my feelings" while telling me nothing of value in the end. I've read so many books by well-meaning Catholic women that, in the end, just fall flat for me because its written in such a way that they don't want to offend, and they end up saying nothing at all except "Jesus loves you!". I don't know... maybe it's just me. I want to know what the Church teaches concerning women! I don't want to be "shielded" from what others may think may "offend" me. Just the fact that so many Catholics do this is, in itself, offensive.
Moving on..
Let me share with you some of my favorite quotes from the book:
1. (The) "shock" at the simple description of Christian marriage tells the true narrative of what feminism has done to the popular view of men and women. (page 4)
2. We live in a world with "thin skins and strong stomachs." as my husband likes to say. As such, we have strong stomachs for anything that brings us illicit pleasure and thin skins for anything that gives us offense. (page 76)
3. If the popular culture hates anything in this world more than a Christian man enjoying his headship over a grateful, happy, dutiful, and obedient wife, let me know. Conversely, if the left loves anything more than the universal abidance of their preferences (un-biological pronouns, various sexual debaucheries, murder of the innocent, ect.), let me know. (page 173)
4. The first mark of a happy home is not organically, hand-washed laundering but rather the close union of its head and its heart. (page 198)
5. Sisters in Christ can laugh, disagree, cry, debate, and empathize all in one afternoon gathering and emerge better friends for it. (page 267)
Oh gosh, I could quote this entire book. (On the majority of the pages I have more than one sticky note!!) But on to my favorite things about this book, because I am too lazy to write a coherent, professional review.
What I Loved
* Not only is "Mrs. Gordon" 's writing easy to read and follow, it felt like a wise, old sister was giving me advice that I needed (much like one of my favorite youtubers, "Mrs. Midwest.") It was to the point, relatable, funny at times, and, most importantly, rooted in Church Teaching. I loved how I felt I could easily get along with the author if we met at a pot luck after Sunday Mass. It was comforting to read such, at times hard to heard, advice and Catholic truth from someone like that. There aren't enough Catholic women out there who not only desire to know the whole Truth of what the Church teaches, but also have a good sense of humor and enjoy a good belly laugh!
* The Chapter "Inerrant Catholic Teaching versus Working Wives" was very eye opening! I had done quite a bit of my own research into Papal letters and encyclicals for my own book, but I had never heard of some of these! What a goldmine! The section that quoted from Pope St. John Paul II was especially interesting. It's funny how we get so used to a narrative that repeats certain quotes from certain saints and Popes, that when we actually go back and read the saints writing in its entirety that it doesn't even go along with the narrative in the first place. Talk about a plot twist.
I also really appreciated how the author went down a list of Popes, as well, including "Post Vatican II" Popes, showing that these teachings didn't suddenly become null after Vatican II. It's really quite mind-blowing when you read the actual documents from the Church and it is actually the total opposite of what the majority of Church members have been "teaching". But I suppose it's like that for most of Catholic Teaching. Bottom line - read the official Church Documents, writings of the Fathers and Doctors of the Church, and Papal encyclicals!! Because it seems that many prominent Catholics out there haven't, and are instead, preaching what the world says is true and not what the Church says is true.
* "The Leader Who Won't Lead" chapter is so helpful. It answered many of my own questions on the issue. The author noted, truthfully, that the portrayal of the Christian husband by the godless left is pretty far from reality; Christian men are hardly bullying, male-chauvinists. As the section is titled, the "Most Common Situation" is "No Alpha in Your Beta Soup." She explains that "many modern men are followers and not leaders." This, I have certainly noticed everywhere, and it grieves me. Oh to see the day when Christian men rise up and take their responsibilities! And, in turn, Christian women embrace their own vocations as well!
* The section where the author quotes St. Josemaria Escriva is so, so good! It is not only helpful, but St. Josemaria wrote with such a clarity, and such an understanding of the daily struggles, that his advice is stellar.
* I could probably just save a lot of time and just say that I loved the whole book...
Complaints Concerning This Book
I've read some angry reviews and comments concerning this book, and now that I've finally read it myself, I'd like to counter some of them. I'm not saying these women didn't read the book but... their comments are literally the opposite of what I found in the book.
1. "'Mrs Gordon' is a hypocrite because she's writing a book when she says women shouldn't be working outside the home."
Really though, Mrs. Gordon dedicates an entire chapter on this very question and explains it fully. Spoiler alert: She's not a hypocrite. Please read the book, not just the blurb.
2. "This book totally goes against Church Teaching and the Bible!"
Goodness. I really don't know where this comes from to be honest. Not only is there an entire chapter (Chapter 5: Inerrant Church Teaching versus Working Wives) where the author dives deep into literal Church teaching, which not only supports the claims that the author makes in this book, but it seems to use even "harsher" tones than the author herself in some instances. And concerning the Bible? The author quotes from the Bible throughout the book, especially in the second Chapter, and pages 105 - 121 which is jam packed with scripture that supports the author. And again, the reader is given the impression that this book is instead writing about Church Teaching (which of course includes the Bible), instead of Church Teaching coming in and supporting the views of the author. If that makes sense?
3. "The author of this book promotes wife-beatings / abusive marriages."
Yeah, not really sure where they got this one... the whole book (especially Chapter 3, that speaks on how husband and wife should be best friends) promotes a Christian marriage. Last I checked, it was Christianity that began changing how the pagan world viewed women in marriage.
Not only does the author clearly show marriage as one of mutual love, respect, deep friendship, and holiness but she includes a whole section "Less Common and More Important: Submission When There Is Abuse, Neglect, or Addiction" starting on page 245, where she says, "The wife may, according to Church Teaching, protect her soul and body in instances where the husband is putting either in grave danger." (page 246) The whole section is well worth the read.
4. "The author annoyingly shows off her perfect marriage and expects all of us to live as she does"
Didn't see any of this, to be honest. The author clearly explains Church Teaching on the topic of marriage, women, submission, ect, and then gives examples of how she tries to put the Church's directives into practice in her own marriage, while stating "(here) is my unfashionable 'cutting-corners-laundry-list.' I'm sure many of you have developed lists similar to mine. Like many of you, over time I've added incrementally an item or two to my list -- usually after a new child is born." It was a helpful example of how she tries to put her husband and children first. An example. Not a dogma-that-every-wife-must-follow. Again, back to one of the quotes I shared above, "The first mark of a happy home is not organically, hand-washed laundering but rather the close union of its head and its heart. (page 198)" Close union? That doesn't sound abusive to me. The only thing the author might be "guilty" of is working hard at her own marriage and *gasp* reaping the good fruits.
Conclusion
This book is one that every Christian woman should read. It isn't fluff. It explains Church Teaching in an honest, down-to-earth way. And if women are truly getting angry about this book, then they are either confused as to what the Church really teaches on the matter or they simply haven't read the book in its entirety. It makes me sad that so many women have been raised in such feminized homes, that the idea of a rightly-ordered household, with the husband as leader and protector is something that makes then angry. The peace that comes from this rightly-ordered household is something that most women have never experienced and therefore, they seem to think its something they must rebel against. But let us take care. Let us open our wounded, feminized hearts to the Teaching of the Catholic Church. Pray about it, and then read this book!
July 14, 2025
My toxic trait is reading books I know I will disagree with for either the educational or entertainment value. It came as no surprise that I took issue with Ask Your Husband. My surprise is *where* I took issue with it.
Due to my proclivity to read books boasting hot takes, I have stumbled across my fair share of faulty theology and woke feminist nonsense, but never have I stumbled across an author toward whom I felt such personal disdain until I was introduced to this work by Mrs. Timothy J. Gordon.
As I began reading this book, I remarked to my husband that I would love to speak to the author in real life because this book is penned in such lofty language it is nigh unrelatable and I would like to hear her thoughts in “real talk.” Toward the middle of this book, I changed my stance to, “I would love to never have to speak to this woman in person because she sounds kind of terrible.” Toward the end of this book, I cried out in horrified dismay: “Wow, this woman is such a condescending bitch!”
Ask Your Husband. Ha! My husband asked me why I continued to subject myself to this torture if it was truly “that bad.” (It’s like a train wreck. I couldn’t look away.)
My issue is not with her belief about the Biblical role of women in the home; it’s in the way she cannot seem to present these facts without exhibiting a completely un-Biblical attitude toward her fellow woman.
While I thought her references to the “shrill-sounding, overtaxed vocal cords” of the screeching feminists were a bit much, I rolled my eyes and otherwise overlooked the petty digs because this is very obviously an anti-feminist book. But when she assaulted the “crunchy mom movement” (presumably for the sin of investing too much time in their homemade efforts when they could be working “smarter not harder”), I lost the remaining sliver of respect I was trying to hold onto for this author.
As a stay-at-home wife and mother (coming from a long line of stay-at-home wives and mothers), I wholeheartedly agree that our families need more godly women who are committed to hearth and home, which is why I was surprised to find Mrs. Gordon seemingly belittling an entire subset of women who share that sacred goal simply because they raise and butcher chickens while refusing to feed their children Lucky Charms.
What does it matter to her which homemaking skills a woman chooses to spend her time cultivating so long as her family is well cared for? The author’s list of corner-cutting time savers that immediately follows her critique of crunchy moms is a matter of personal preference (8 of the 13 suggestions did not appeal to me in the least), but the author appears to condemn anyone whose family life differs from own.
Consider her critique of families who “squander entire weekends shuttling children around town to some trifling activity” going so far as to say, “Most of these activities are self-evidently meaningless to both kids and parents—just a way of wasting valuable time.” (In case you’re wondering, this is where my “condescending bitch” comment slipped out.) The arrogance with which Mrs. Gordon assumes these “insipid activities” are meaningless to other families just because she does not personally see the appeal is astounding to me.
While I would agree that most American families are overcommitted and spread thin due to the many opportunities available to us, condemning their interests as a whole rather than gently suggesting that some things may need to be dropped from the schedule for the sake of providing more flexible family time is not the way to win converts.
If you cannot present your argument without attacking the character of those who think differently from you, I have little respect for your opinions (I say, after calling this author a nasty name 😂). I should have predicted the direction this book was going to take from the opening pages in which she remarks that Twitter is no place for a lady. No, my dear, Twitter is no place for a person who cannot disagree with another person without resorting to petty insults. But I digress.
I’d love to read some concept of this book written in more relatable speech by someone who is open to the idea that there are multiple ways to run a home while still adhering to Biblical standards.
Mrs. Gordon has the right idea, but due to her condescending approach, falls terribly short in application.
Due to my proclivity to read books boasting hot takes, I have stumbled across my fair share of faulty theology and woke feminist nonsense, but never have I stumbled across an author toward whom I felt such personal disdain until I was introduced to this work by Mrs. Timothy J. Gordon.
As I began reading this book, I remarked to my husband that I would love to speak to the author in real life because this book is penned in such lofty language it is nigh unrelatable and I would like to hear her thoughts in “real talk.” Toward the middle of this book, I changed my stance to, “I would love to never have to speak to this woman in person because she sounds kind of terrible.” Toward the end of this book, I cried out in horrified dismay: “Wow, this woman is such a condescending bitch!”
Ask Your Husband. Ha! My husband asked me why I continued to subject myself to this torture if it was truly “that bad.” (It’s like a train wreck. I couldn’t look away.)
My issue is not with her belief about the Biblical role of women in the home; it’s in the way she cannot seem to present these facts without exhibiting a completely un-Biblical attitude toward her fellow woman.
While I thought her references to the “shrill-sounding, overtaxed vocal cords” of the screeching feminists were a bit much, I rolled my eyes and otherwise overlooked the petty digs because this is very obviously an anti-feminist book. But when she assaulted the “crunchy mom movement” (presumably for the sin of investing too much time in their homemade efforts when they could be working “smarter not harder”), I lost the remaining sliver of respect I was trying to hold onto for this author.
As a stay-at-home wife and mother (coming from a long line of stay-at-home wives and mothers), I wholeheartedly agree that our families need more godly women who are committed to hearth and home, which is why I was surprised to find Mrs. Gordon seemingly belittling an entire subset of women who share that sacred goal simply because they raise and butcher chickens while refusing to feed their children Lucky Charms.
What does it matter to her which homemaking skills a woman chooses to spend her time cultivating so long as her family is well cared for? The author’s list of corner-cutting time savers that immediately follows her critique of crunchy moms is a matter of personal preference (8 of the 13 suggestions did not appeal to me in the least), but the author appears to condemn anyone whose family life differs from own.
Consider her critique of families who “squander entire weekends shuttling children around town to some trifling activity” going so far as to say, “Most of these activities are self-evidently meaningless to both kids and parents—just a way of wasting valuable time.” (In case you’re wondering, this is where my “condescending bitch” comment slipped out.) The arrogance with which Mrs. Gordon assumes these “insipid activities” are meaningless to other families just because she does not personally see the appeal is astounding to me.
While I would agree that most American families are overcommitted and spread thin due to the many opportunities available to us, condemning their interests as a whole rather than gently suggesting that some things may need to be dropped from the schedule for the sake of providing more flexible family time is not the way to win converts.
If you cannot present your argument without attacking the character of those who think differently from you, I have little respect for your opinions (I say, after calling this author a nasty name 😂). I should have predicted the direction this book was going to take from the opening pages in which she remarks that Twitter is no place for a lady. No, my dear, Twitter is no place for a person who cannot disagree with another person without resorting to petty insults. But I digress.
I’d love to read some concept of this book written in more relatable speech by someone who is open to the idea that there are multiple ways to run a home while still adhering to Biblical standards.
Mrs. Gordon has the right idea, but due to her condescending approach, falls terribly short in application.
October 12, 2025
I will say that Stephanie Gordon seems to be genuinely happy in her marriage and the life she has chosen. And good for her on that.
I have a splitting headache while writing this review, so I will stick with my main gripe rather than detail the MANY issues that my husband and I had with this book.
To claim that it is a mortal sin for a wife to work outside the home is wrong. End of discussion. That is not Church teaching. You can have an issue with the reasons why a wife is working outside the home, but it is downright lying and manipulative to tell women they are in mortal sin if they do so.
I have a splitting headache while writing this review, so I will stick with my main gripe rather than detail the MANY issues that my husband and I had with this book.
To claim that it is a mortal sin for a wife to work outside the home is wrong. End of discussion. That is not Church teaching. You can have an issue with the reasons why a wife is working outside the home, but it is downright lying and manipulative to tell women they are in mortal sin if they do so.
October 5, 2024
Sentence structure is frustrating, especially near the beginning. Good information but delivered obnoxiously at times.
October 8, 2024
Where I found it⬇️
-I actually asked my husband to pick out and buy me a book so I would keep it forever and it would stay special to me. He then picked this book off my amazon prime wish list, and had it sent to me.😍🥰
-281 pages
Summary⬇️
-The opposite of feminist, how to love and serve your husband by staying home and following God.
-Knowing when not to talk and when to talk.
-Why you shouldn’t work outside of the home, not even 2 days; due to the stress this will cause on your life.
-Follow your husband and do what he says in all ways, unless it’s criminal activities.
-Ask your husband when you have questions about faith, as he’s supposed to be the one to preach for his family.
-This book also explains where and how it says it In the Bible as well.
-Christian husbands shouldn’t criticize his wife, especially in public or flaunt his authority. Rather if a situation does need addressing, that he does it in a Christian manner.
-Husbands are to treat their wives generously & honorable with good morals.
-Education for women after a certain point isn’t needed, because after they get married most likely they will be staying home. You can learn things that will strengthen your homestead/homeschooling education always though.
-The husband should always put everything past his wife first, that doesn’t mean he has to listen to her opinion. However he does have to take into consideration what she wants or thinks before making the ultimate decisions for the household.
-Most importantly you must stay in shape and looking as good as you can, to stay physically attractive and healthy so your sex life stays on the same level as before y’all got older.
My thoughts💭⬇️
I like this book because we think and run our house hold mostly the same way. I do see the value in the wife staying home. As they put it, “the house without a wife is just four empty walls… every house needs a heart of the home.💜”
I myself didn’t enjoy staying home In the beginning. Honestly you have to get used to it and find your own hobbies and ways of making money if you need to all at your house/property. I’ve now come to enjoy it so much that I pray I’ll never have to work outside of my home ever again. It’s a privilege to be able to stay home all day and serve your family. I see that🥰. So I do understand what this book 📚 is saying. However this book is very direct about it, almost written in a yelling tone in some parts. I love how she brings up King Henry VIII & Queen Catherine of Aragon life, ive read about them before and find it intersting.
5 STARS ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - LOVED AND WILL KEEP READING OVER THE YEARS
-I actually asked my husband to pick out and buy me a book so I would keep it forever and it would stay special to me. He then picked this book off my amazon prime wish list, and had it sent to me.😍🥰
-281 pages
Summary⬇️
-The opposite of feminist, how to love and serve your husband by staying home and following God.
-Knowing when not to talk and when to talk.
-Why you shouldn’t work outside of the home, not even 2 days; due to the stress this will cause on your life.
-Follow your husband and do what he says in all ways, unless it’s criminal activities.
-Ask your husband when you have questions about faith, as he’s supposed to be the one to preach for his family.
-This book also explains where and how it says it In the Bible as well.
-Christian husbands shouldn’t criticize his wife, especially in public or flaunt his authority. Rather if a situation does need addressing, that he does it in a Christian manner.
-Husbands are to treat their wives generously & honorable with good morals.
-Education for women after a certain point isn’t needed, because after they get married most likely they will be staying home. You can learn things that will strengthen your homestead/homeschooling education always though.
-The husband should always put everything past his wife first, that doesn’t mean he has to listen to her opinion. However he does have to take into consideration what she wants or thinks before making the ultimate decisions for the household.
-Most importantly you must stay in shape and looking as good as you can, to stay physically attractive and healthy so your sex life stays on the same level as before y’all got older.
My thoughts💭⬇️
I like this book because we think and run our house hold mostly the same way. I do see the value in the wife staying home. As they put it, “the house without a wife is just four empty walls… every house needs a heart of the home.💜”
I myself didn’t enjoy staying home In the beginning. Honestly you have to get used to it and find your own hobbies and ways of making money if you need to all at your house/property. I’ve now come to enjoy it so much that I pray I’ll never have to work outside of my home ever again. It’s a privilege to be able to stay home all day and serve your family. I see that🥰. So I do understand what this book 📚 is saying. However this book is very direct about it, almost written in a yelling tone in some parts. I love how she brings up King Henry VIII & Queen Catherine of Aragon life, ive read about them before and find it intersting.
5 STARS ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ - LOVED AND WILL KEEP READING OVER THE YEARS
April 12, 2025
Lot of good points but the tone is horrible. This woman is so smug and she's already over 40. But she writes like a 18 years old know it all with no life experience gal.
Things I hated most:
1. Wives who work outside the home are sinful feminists.
This whole wives shouldn't work stuff is sooo American. I'm from Hungary and kids there go to kindergarten from age 3. You can't homeschool your kids. But why should you? Public schools are great, not woke at all, and Catholic schools are free. Now I have a 9 months old too, therefore I'm at home, but when all my kids will be in school from 8 a.m. to at least 2 p.m., I plan to work 4 hours a day from home as a private language tutor and translator. And if they'll be even more older, maybe I'll teach in a language school. Tim Gordon just LIES when he says that it's a sin for a wife to work outside the home. It can be, if she neglects the family and the home. But don't be a stupid American thinking that the whole world lives as you and should homeschool.
2. The have babies even when your doctors say
It's a very dangerous message. I'm happy Stephanie and her children are okay (except Abby) but girl, how can you advocate having kids in every medical circumstances? It's tempting God which is a huge sin.
Things I hated most:
1. Wives who work outside the home are sinful feminists.
This whole wives shouldn't work stuff is sooo American. I'm from Hungary and kids there go to kindergarten from age 3. You can't homeschool your kids. But why should you? Public schools are great, not woke at all, and Catholic schools are free. Now I have a 9 months old too, therefore I'm at home, but when all my kids will be in school from 8 a.m. to at least 2 p.m., I plan to work 4 hours a day from home as a private language tutor and translator. And if they'll be even more older, maybe I'll teach in a language school. Tim Gordon just LIES when he says that it's a sin for a wife to work outside the home. It can be, if she neglects the family and the home. But don't be a stupid American thinking that the whole world lives as you and should homeschool.
2. The have babies even when your doctors say
It's a very dangerous message. I'm happy Stephanie and her children are okay (except Abby) but girl, how can you advocate having kids in every medical circumstances? It's tempting God which is a huge sin.
July 27, 2024
🖍️ Reading this book was sometimes a struggle and sometimes the words flowed alright. I think I know where the author was trying to go in putting forth an opinion for women’s true roles in the family and in society. However, the author needed a good editor to remove the distraction of inconsistent and poor grammar including hints of aggression and disdain towards the reader.
The assertion that “Our Lady was a simple, uneducated housewife” really riled me. The nuns and priests that taught me never hinted or outrighted stated that Mary was “uneducated.” In fact, She was educated in reading, writing, and the religious laws – how could She not be and help Saint Joseph raise Jesus properly? Did Saints Anne and Joachim not provide Our Lady with some sort of necessary education? I believe so.
I agree with the author that
The above quoted passage correctly shows the error of modern feminism – that women can have it all. Yet, what modern feminism also does is to help to weaken and/or break up the family and provide a wider tax base for government spending.
I found the following passage to be an odd statement to focus not on Jesus’ Ascension into Heaven, but:
Stephanie C. Gordon states that, “a virtuous wife does not need a university education.” While perhaps true enough, a well-rounded wife and mother makes for a better woman to teach her children and to be a helpmate to her husband. Besides, as it was in the “olden days,” girls went to college to become women and meet eligible husbands. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with women going to a university.
Overall, as I stated earlier, I think the author is on the right track with her thesis, yet better editing will make this a better foray into putting forth her own thoughts. Sometimes Stephanie C. Gordon seems to parrot her husband, Dr. Timothy J. Gordon, too much, so that her writing does not come across as completely her own. I wish it did.
📌ˋ°•*⁀➷ In the meantime, read The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity by Carrie Gress. It is a much better book.
*˚˚*•̩̩͙How I happened upon this book: It was through Stephanie Gordon's husband's podcasts.
🟣 Kindle.
＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
The assertion that “Our Lady was a simple, uneducated housewife” really riled me. The nuns and priests that taught me never hinted or outrighted stated that Mary was “uneducated.” In fact, She was educated in reading, writing, and the religious laws – how could She not be and help Saint Joseph raise Jesus properly? Did Saints Anne and Joachim not provide Our Lady with some sort of necessary education? I believe so.
I agree with the author that
“most children (and husbands) today only have access to their mothers (or in the case of husbands, wives) in the evening. And during that brief window of time, such women must fit in all their mothering, housework, cooking, recreation, and husbandly attention.”
The above quoted passage correctly shows the error of modern feminism – that women can have it all. Yet, what modern feminism also does is to help to weaken and/or break up the family and provide a wider tax base for government spending.
I found the following passage to be an odd statement to focus not on Jesus’ Ascension into Heaven, but:
“After her [sic] Son died, she [sic] did not accompany the Apostles to the ends of the earth [sic] spreading the Gospel.”
Stephanie C. Gordon states that, “a virtuous wife does not need a university education.” While perhaps true enough, a well-rounded wife and mother makes for a better woman to teach her children and to be a helpmate to her husband. Besides, as it was in the “olden days,” girls went to college to become women and meet eligible husbands. Therefore, there is nothing wrong with women going to a university.
Overall, as I stated earlier, I think the author is on the right track with her thesis, yet better editing will make this a better foray into putting forth her own thoughts. Sometimes Stephanie C. Gordon seems to parrot her husband, Dr. Timothy J. Gordon, too much, so that her writing does not come across as completely her own. I wish it did.
📌ˋ°•*⁀➷ In the meantime, read The Anti-Mary Exposed: Rescuing the Culture from Toxic Femininity by Carrie Gress. It is a much better book.
*˚˚*•̩̩͙How I happened upon this book: It was through Stephanie Gordon's husband's podcasts.
🟣 Kindle.
＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚˚*•̩̩͙✩•̩̩͙*˚＊
June 10, 2025
In a world increasingly shaped by contemporary feminist ideals, Mrs. Timothy Gordon's 'Ask Your Husband' emerges as a truly indispensable resource, particularly for Catholic women. This book offers a much-needed antidote to the confusion many women face today, especially those who grew up without being thoroughly grounded in the foundational principles of what it truly means to be a Catholic wife and mother.
Mrs. Gordon provides remarkable clarity on these essential vocations, meticulously supporting her insights with rich citations from Scripture, the timeless wisdom of the Saints, the foundational Roman Catechism, and numerous papal encyclicals. For any Catholic woman aspiring to live a joy-filled and authentically Catholic married life, 'Ask Your Husband' is not merely recommended, but should be considered required reading. It's a guiding light, offering practical wisdom and spiritual depth that will undoubtedly lead many to greater peace and fulfillment in their vocations.
Mrs. Gordon provides remarkable clarity on these essential vocations, meticulously supporting her insights with rich citations from Scripture, the timeless wisdom of the Saints, the foundational Roman Catechism, and numerous papal encyclicals. For any Catholic woman aspiring to live a joy-filled and authentically Catholic married life, 'Ask Your Husband' is not merely recommended, but should be considered required reading. It's a guiding light, offering practical wisdom and spiritual depth that will undoubtedly lead many to greater peace and fulfillment in their vocations.
May 6, 2025
Superb!
This book is life-changing.
I loved reading it, and applying it in my marriage and family life. It is a must read for every wife, not just a Catholic one.
My favorite parts were about work. They helped me sort out my priorities as a wife and stay at home mother who also works part time from home.
I even translated parts of it into another language for my non-Christian sister. And it is really helping her heal her marriage. Plus she's now investigating Christianity, because she realizes how much time-tested wisdom and truth there is in it.
A huge thank you to the author for writing it!
PS I'm also reading Catholic Republic written by the author's husband and it's magnificent!
This book is life-changing.
I loved reading it, and applying it in my marriage and family life. It is a must read for every wife, not just a Catholic one.
My favorite parts were about work. They helped me sort out my priorities as a wife and stay at home mother who also works part time from home.
I even translated parts of it into another language for my non-Christian sister. And it is really helping her heal her marriage. Plus she's now investigating Christianity, because she realizes how much time-tested wisdom and truth there is in it.
A huge thank you to the author for writing it!
PS I'm also reading Catholic Republic written by the author's husband and it's magnificent!
July 1, 2024
Amazing
(ANDREWS wife) We have been lied to as women on how we should live and love. Here begins a great deal of suffering for our loved ones and ourselves. This book is a great resource to reset ourselves and our lives to God's Will. I believe that one could read it several times over the years and glean improvements.
(ANDREWS wife) We have been lied to as women on how we should live and love. Here begins a great deal of suffering for our loved ones and ourselves. This book is a great resource to reset ourselves and our lives to God's Will. I believe that one could read it several times over the years and glean improvements.
July 12, 2025
There is a great book, a necessary book to be written here...shes just not the one to deliver it. A lot of inaccurate superlatives, obscene critiques of the clergy and the church as a whole, and wrong assumptions about the reader's objections detract from the arguments and distract from the purpose. I hope someone else attempts this thesis!
December 4, 2023
Excellent
This book is truly an excellent message sorely needed in Western Christianity today. As a husband and father I appreciate a female author proclaiming what's true about the way the divine structure was laid out since the beginning.
This book is truly an excellent message sorely needed in Western Christianity today. As a husband and father I appreciate a female author proclaiming what's true about the way the divine structure was laid out since the beginning.
October 7, 2024
Rocked my world...in a good way
Rocked my world...in a good way. I was ready for the message and grateful Hod saw fit to help me on my journey to sainthood.
Rocked my world...in a good way. I was ready for the message and grateful Hod saw fit to help me on my journey to sainthood.
April 6, 2025
I think this book had some good advice. A few parts felt a bit much for me. It was very repetitive, I wish it covered more topics.
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