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The Double Life
ASIN moved from less recent edition
Sidney diverted her heavy eyes away from the family portrait sitting atop her desk.
"The need for her was raw, tender, and insatiable. A blend of painful pleasure that soothed and tortured. I wanted to stop wanting her, but I found I could not. Sitting at my desk, I forced my eyes to stay on my computer screen and kept my fingers moving across the keyboard. I could almost feel the scrutiny of my husband peering out at me from the photo and searing into my soul.
I kept working. Kept typing. Kept stalling.
When Dayna finally arrived, the guilt and unease seemed to vanish. In seconds she was in my arms, my hands slipping beneath her shirt to nestle into the smooth skin at her sides. Her smell drew me in closer, the fragrance of her was intoxicating and I found my lips gently pressed against hers.
She was all that mattered. Being with her was all that mattered.
Those soft, painted lips and feminine curves calmed the tempest of anxiousness swirling about just moments before.
Dayna was the quieting balm that soothed me. And yet, her presence was the embodiment of evil I’d been taught to eschew. She was a distraction. Pulling me away from my home, family, and the intimacy I was supposed to share with my husband.
How could I possibly choose her? I would lose everything, my marriage, my family, my church, and my God. I would lose the image of me; the smart, sensible, Christian woman raised on the sacrifices borne of my parents. Was there even a choice? This was ludicrous. An exercise in futility. I could never choose her.
But, with the strength of this thing, we were building, this insatiable need to be with her, the completeness I felt in her presence, how could I not?"
Sidney diverted her heavy eyes away from the family portrait sitting atop her desk.
"The need for her was raw, tender, and insatiable. A blend of painful pleasure that soothed and tortured. I wanted to stop wanting her, but I found I could not. Sitting at my desk, I forced my eyes to stay on my computer screen and kept my fingers moving across the keyboard. I could almost feel the scrutiny of my husband peering out at me from the photo and searing into my soul.
I kept working. Kept typing. Kept stalling.
When Dayna finally arrived, the guilt and unease seemed to vanish. In seconds she was in my arms, my hands slipping beneath her shirt to nestle into the smooth skin at her sides. Her smell drew me in closer, the fragrance of her was intoxicating and I found my lips gently pressed against hers.
She was all that mattered. Being with her was all that mattered.
Those soft, painted lips and feminine curves calmed the tempest of anxiousness swirling about just moments before.
Dayna was the quieting balm that soothed me. And yet, her presence was the embodiment of evil I’d been taught to eschew. She was a distraction. Pulling me away from my home, family, and the intimacy I was supposed to share with my husband.
How could I possibly choose her? I would lose everything, my marriage, my family, my church, and my God. I would lose the image of me; the smart, sensible, Christian woman raised on the sacrifices borne of my parents. Was there even a choice? This was ludicrous. An exercise in futility. I could never choose her.
But, with the strength of this thing, we were building, this insatiable need to be with her, the completeness I felt in her presence, how could I not?"
371 pages, Kindle Edition
First published December 19, 2010
156 people are currently reading
48 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews
June 6, 2024
Double Life, Double Good
The story Shea Lynn has written is relevant to what has been an issue with religion and sexuality in America and especially ostracized members, who contribute time and talent, of the black church. The issues of belonging, displacement, fear of loss of family and friends, what others will think or say, putting in context personal truths and denials, they are all real. I love that therapy for her mental health was introduced in a way to make a statement about the strength in therapy and the need for it. Sidney was suffering with the emotional jungle gym she had going on within her mind and emotions. She was boarding on a breakdown, but was strong enough to move forward, which is where the mental health and the therapist came in. Without the therapy I think she could have taken a bad turn. All the characters were flushed out well, including some of the important elements of their background that provided insight to their adult development. The book is worth a re-read.
There should have been better proofing so some of the grammatical mistakes could have been caught. Proof reading, especially ebooks As I was reading I would re-read a phrase or sentence to make sure the correct meaning as applied to the story and to make sense of what I was reading. Because of the grammatical issues, Sometimes it was hard to differentiate between the protagonist voices because of grammatical issues.
All in all, a great read. The first person narrations from the characters was awesome and refreshing. I will recommend this book to others. A very nice read.
The story Shea Lynn has written is relevant to what has been an issue with religion and sexuality in America and especially ostracized members, who contribute time and talent, of the black church. The issues of belonging, displacement, fear of loss of family and friends, what others will think or say, putting in context personal truths and denials, they are all real. I love that therapy for her mental health was introduced in a way to make a statement about the strength in therapy and the need for it. Sidney was suffering with the emotional jungle gym she had going on within her mind and emotions. She was boarding on a breakdown, but was strong enough to move forward, which is where the mental health and the therapist came in. Without the therapy I think she could have taken a bad turn. All the characters were flushed out well, including some of the important elements of their background that provided insight to their adult development. The book is worth a re-read.
There should have been better proofing so some of the grammatical mistakes could have been caught. Proof reading, especially ebooks As I was reading I would re-read a phrase or sentence to make sure the correct meaning as applied to the story and to make sense of what I was reading. Because of the grammatical issues, Sometimes it was hard to differentiate between the protagonist voices because of grammatical issues.
All in all, a great read. The first person narrations from the characters was awesome and refreshing. I will recommend this book to others. A very nice read.
April 1, 2022
I was so ready for this book to end
Very drawn out, so much dialogue, often times the voices of the two protagonists often sound like each other. Chemistry outside of sexual chemistry wasn't really developed. I appreciated the themes around navigating sexuality, love, relationships, religion but this story was exhausting.
Very drawn out, so much dialogue, often times the voices of the two protagonists often sound like each other. Chemistry outside of sexual chemistry wasn't really developed. I appreciated the themes around navigating sexuality, love, relationships, religion but this story was exhausting.
October 5, 2012
Arresting novel, full of angst...kept me going till the end. I look forward to future works by this author.
June 28, 2024
3.5 out of 5
Ok, Book Club, I see you.
This book could have been 5 stars!
Realism 5/5.
This book could easily be anyone's life. It could also easily be turned into a movie. So real.
Character Development/Depth 3/5.
The characters weren't developed enough as individuals early on, so it was often hard to tell them apart.
Supporting Characters 3/5.
These characters also lacked individual depth. I couldn't tell the family members apart from one family to the next, too similar.
Writing style 3/5.
The number of typos and grammar issues were a bit upsetting because they interrupted the flow of the story. The story hopped from present to past and vice versa in a way that was almost too spontaneous. There should have been clearer breaks in the text indicating a shift.
Book Length vs Depth 3/5.
There were parts of the story that felt unnecessary and other parts that felt as if they lacked.
Spice 2/5.
If you're looking for spice, this not it. Spice scenes are literally ok and felt somewhat rushed. They are not the main focal point of the story.
I'll likely read additional books by this author.
Ok, Book Club, I see you.
This book could have been 5 stars!
Realism 5/5.
This book could easily be anyone's life. It could also easily be turned into a movie. So real.
Character Development/Depth 3/5.
The characters weren't developed enough as individuals early on, so it was often hard to tell them apart.
Supporting Characters 3/5.
These characters also lacked individual depth. I couldn't tell the family members apart from one family to the next, too similar.
Writing style 3/5.
The number of typos and grammar issues were a bit upsetting because they interrupted the flow of the story. The story hopped from present to past and vice versa in a way that was almost too spontaneous. There should have been clearer breaks in the text indicating a shift.
Book Length vs Depth 3/5.
There were parts of the story that felt unnecessary and other parts that felt as if they lacked.
Spice 2/5.
If you're looking for spice, this not it. Spice scenes are literally ok and felt somewhat rushed. They are not the main focal point of the story.
I'll likely read additional books by this author.
December 8, 2019
If I read "swallowed thickly" one more time . . .
To begin, the book is a page-turner. But for at least a third of the book, Dayna and Sidney feel like the same person. The build-up to who they are takes more time than I like. The descriptions are repetitive. The character building falls a little flat at times. But once they are finally more fleshed-out, the story gets good. Getting insider access to Cameron and Aaron's reactions to all that is transpiring is enlightening. There is depth to the spiritual as well as the relational sides of the main characters as well as their families and friends. It was a very mature and careful handling of the subject matter. It took a long time to get to the point and then it tied up into a neat little bow and that felt gimmicky, but I don't know how else it could have ended. I'd read this author again if I could be sure to not have to read about "swallowing thickly" every other paragraph. I gave it three stars for a nicely told story but deducted two stars for repetition and taking so long to get to the finish line.
To begin, the book is a page-turner. But for at least a third of the book, Dayna and Sidney feel like the same person. The build-up to who they are takes more time than I like. The descriptions are repetitive. The character building falls a little flat at times. But once they are finally more fleshed-out, the story gets good. Getting insider access to Cameron and Aaron's reactions to all that is transpiring is enlightening. There is depth to the spiritual as well as the relational sides of the main characters as well as their families and friends. It was a very mature and careful handling of the subject matter. It took a long time to get to the point and then it tied up into a neat little bow and that felt gimmicky, but I don't know how else it could have ended. I'd read this author again if I could be sure to not have to read about "swallowing thickly" every other paragraph. I gave it three stars for a nicely told story but deducted two stars for repetition and taking so long to get to the finish line.
March 8, 2020
Awesome story about the struggle between faith and sexuality
This story really hit home with me because this was my struggle. I am a woman of faith that struggled with being attracted to women, so much that I didn’t come out until my late thirties. Sidney and Dayna’s story is the cautionary tale I wanted to avoid—getting into a committed relationship with a man and having an extramarital affair with a woman. I believe in marriage and commitment so much that if I cheated it would have destroyed me.
I, too, went to therapy to work on issues with stress and my sexuality. In the end, I choose to live my truth and deal with the consequences instead of lying about who I was. I changed my denomination from Missionary Baptist as well because although my faith is ingrained so are my values. I want to honor my life partner in the light and in the dark. Everything is not perfect but I have been so much happier living in truth.
This story really hit home with me because this was my struggle. I am a woman of faith that struggled with being attracted to women, so much that I didn’t come out until my late thirties. Sidney and Dayna’s story is the cautionary tale I wanted to avoid—getting into a committed relationship with a man and having an extramarital affair with a woman. I believe in marriage and commitment so much that if I cheated it would have destroyed me.
I, too, went to therapy to work on issues with stress and my sexuality. In the end, I choose to live my truth and deal with the consequences instead of lying about who I was. I changed my denomination from Missionary Baptist as well because although my faith is ingrained so are my values. I want to honor my life partner in the light and in the dark. Everything is not perfect but I have been so much happier living in truth.
December 20, 2021
Too Long for Nothing
The beginning was rushed. I’d like to have a reason to root for the relationship, but the author did not give me that. From the very beginning they were in this crazy, mad, passionate love affair. Because I never had the chance to experience it happen, I never quite felt the passion. I also hate that everybody’s eyes were always referred to as orbs and the author kept saying “padding” instead of walking. One or two times for a little variation would’ve been fine, but over and over throughout the whole book…overkill. Also she used random words like “sui generis,” just say unique. I felt like she was trying to hard to sound like a writer…made reading tedious and uninteresting. I tried to read all the way through but at a little more than 1/2 through I had to quit.
The beginning was rushed. I’d like to have a reason to root for the relationship, but the author did not give me that. From the very beginning they were in this crazy, mad, passionate love affair. Because I never had the chance to experience it happen, I never quite felt the passion. I also hate that everybody’s eyes were always referred to as orbs and the author kept saying “padding” instead of walking. One or two times for a little variation would’ve been fine, but over and over throughout the whole book…overkill. Also she used random words like “sui generis,” just say unique. I felt like she was trying to hard to sound like a writer…made reading tedious and uninteresting. I tried to read all the way through but at a little more than 1/2 through I had to quit.
July 1, 2019
Great Story
I have to say, I usually won't read stories about people who cheat on their partners but for some reason this book drew me in. And I'm very glad I read it. It highlights the fact that fate is real. Sometimes , even if it seems wrong, it really is the only way to go. Great job by the author on keeping it real!
I have to say, I usually won't read stories about people who cheat on their partners but for some reason this book drew me in. And I'm very glad I read it. It highlights the fact that fate is real. Sometimes , even if it seems wrong, it really is the only way to go. Great job by the author on keeping it real!
January 24, 2021
Hey secret love
This is a book about love and how it can’t be kept a secret. The characters are very real and the situation that they find themselves and are also very real. The characters are African-American The plot is very good and the emotions are raw and heartwarming. They are both good and bad. I enjoyed this book and I recommend it for those who like romance.
This is a book about love and how it can’t be kept a secret. The characters are very real and the situation that they find themselves and are also very real. The characters are African-American The plot is very good and the emotions are raw and heartwarming. They are both good and bad. I enjoyed this book and I recommend it for those who like romance.
April 21, 2019
Good not great
I really enjoyed the beginning and the women’s story it got boring when they kept going back to the husbands I wanted more of the ladies but besides that it was a good well written book kept me entertained
I really enjoyed the beginning and the women’s story it got boring when they kept going back to the husbands I wanted more of the ladies but besides that it was a good well written book kept me entertained
May 24, 2020
Wow
Dayna and Sidney’s story was nothing short of spectacular. The four POVs were seamlessly interwoven and I couldn’t put this novel down! I will pray to someday garner the strength of Dayna and Sidney.
Dayna and Sidney’s story was nothing short of spectacular. The four POVs were seamlessly interwoven and I couldn’t put this novel down! I will pray to someday garner the strength of Dayna and Sidney.
August 6, 2020
Loved this book!
I’m looking forward to more books from Shea Lynn. This will be in my kindle library forever, I’ve already read this book 3 times, and I’m sure I will read it again!
I’m looking forward to more books from Shea Lynn. This will be in my kindle library forever, I’ve already read this book 3 times, and I’m sure I will read it again!
March 27, 2023
great read
This book was a great LGBT read. I love that we got all sides of the experience from the men involved with the women. The flash back to how they met was steamy and filled in the blanks for questions I had. The ending made me tear up.
This book was a great LGBT read. I love that we got all sides of the experience from the men involved with the women. The flash back to how they met was steamy and filled in the blanks for questions I had. The ending made me tear up.
February 19, 2024
Great Read!
I loved the storyline, the characters, the growth and how true love prevailed all odds. I would have loved more of how their story began, but I loved how it was told from the perspective of ALL parties involved.
I loved the storyline, the characters, the growth and how true love prevailed all odds. I would have loved more of how their story began, but I loved how it was told from the perspective of ALL parties involved.
February 18, 2019
Great read!
One of the best novels I’ve read in a while. It mirrors my life at the moment. I couldn’t believe it. Awesome read!
One of the best novels I’ve read in a while. It mirrors my life at the moment. I couldn’t believe it. Awesome read!
March 31, 2019
Good read!
I really enjoyed this book, always follow your heart no matter what others may think of you. Your happiness comes first.
I really enjoyed this book, always follow your heart no matter what others may think of you. Your happiness comes first.
June 20, 2019
The Human Condition! Stories like this always get me!
That was an absolutely amazing read! I’ve shared it with a couple of my friends. I believe that it is a story worth sharing.
That was an absolutely amazing read! I’ve shared it with a couple of my friends. I believe that it is a story worth sharing.
October 4, 2019
Great reading
I love their love .. Sorry. Arron had to get hurt but love is love. So did they get married
I love their love .. Sorry. Arron had to get hurt but love is love. So did they get married
May 16, 2021
Enjoyed the book
This book was good. Super well written , I liked the story. Kept me engaged and was a great read
This book was good. Super well written , I liked the story. Kept me engaged and was a great read
March 28, 2022
What you want isn't considered what is right
What happens when what you want doesn't line up with what's considered right? A damn good story in this case…
What happens when what you want doesn't line up with what's considered right? A damn good story in this case…
July 13, 2024
Great Read!
I loved this book and the realization that some couples are dealing with as we speak! I definitely could relate!
I loved this book and the realization that some couples are dealing with as we speak! I definitely could relate!
August 18, 2025
.... a hot mess.
March 1, 2022
I really enjoyed the book. Of course there were certain things that drove me crazy…if I had read one more “miss you” “miss you too” I would have gone mad.
The ending seemed a little bit rushed.
Not the best book ever, but definitely worth reading.
The ending seemed a little bit rushed.
Not the best book ever, but definitely worth reading.
October 10, 2019
🏳️🌈❤️
After my second time reading this book, I’m even happier that I found it that first time.
The struggles of both Sidney and Dayna are very relatable. Knowing and loving yourself enough to love another. Knowing that your faith in God won’t be disturbed no matter who you love. Those are necessary revelations that I’m I glad I came to realize.
The first time I read this I needed it and this second reading really confirms that for me.
Thank you for writing this book.
After my second time reading this book, I’m even happier that I found it that first time.
The struggles of both Sidney and Dayna are very relatable. Knowing and loving yourself enough to love another. Knowing that your faith in God won’t be disturbed no matter who you love. Those are necessary revelations that I’m I glad I came to realize.
The first time I read this I needed it and this second reading really confirms that for me.
Thank you for writing this book.
September 27, 2014
Loved this book! Really wasn't interested in the typical straight and married gone gay story line, but this was different from what I expected and I enjoyed that.
September 27, 2014
Great read!
Displaying 1 - 26 of 26 reviews