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I'm Learning to Be Flexible! : A Book for Children Who Have a Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) Profile or Simply Like to Control
Does your child or student like to control?They may refuse to follow your instructions or complete daily routines. They may insist on doing things their way. They may even control what others do or think....I’m Learning to Be Flexible! is a children’s book for children who like to control or have a Pathological Demand Avoidance (PDA) profile. The author has uniquely applied contextual behavioural science to children’s literature.In this book, young readers become the writer and illustrator of their own book where they can draw their own character, decide who they want to be, and choose what is important to them. Then, instead of being told what they should and should not do (towards what is important to them), young readers will help another child in the story who also likes to control become more flexible by working out step-by-step strategies using an adapted ACT Matrix (Polk & Schoendorff, 2014). By reading another child’s non-examples, young readers are more willing to help and thus engage in the learning process themselves.The story is grounded on evidence-based Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT).
31 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 6, 2022
8 people are currently reading
41 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews
October 9, 2023
I guess I’m the only one who thought this book was terrible? I’m genuinely confused as to how people with PDA kids are finding this helpful. It felt like a shame based approach to modifying behavior, rather than a tool for managing nervous system distress. Tools of deep breathing and mindfulness are implemented at the end, but they aren’t given any space in the story. The story doesn’t even mention the panic our PDA kids are going through when they feel loss of control—it only looks at how their need for control makes their parents and teachers sad/angry/worried—so basically “never mind your own suffering, look at how your need to wear a green shirt or color with a blue crayon has caused your mom to suffer” (actual inane examples from the book! PDA 101: let your kids pick out their clothes and crayons!).
I guess the decision to make the main character a “good” (neurotypical?) kid was based on the author’s expertise, but to me it just otherized the PDA kid. It also felt like a weird subtle anti fat jab to make the kid whose always struggling fat, and the one who makes “good” decisions thin. Some reviewers mentioned that by showing PDAers how their behaviors effect others it teaches empathy, but I don’t believe shame is a tool for teaching empathy. Empathy requires a regulated nervous system, which is achieved through self-compassion, not shame.
I was hoping this book would help my daughter find her way to a feeling of safety when her sense of control is reduced— it that wasn’t even the goal of this book. Back to inventing my own tools…
I guess the decision to make the main character a “good” (neurotypical?) kid was based on the author’s expertise, but to me it just otherized the PDA kid. It also felt like a weird subtle anti fat jab to make the kid whose always struggling fat, and the one who makes “good” decisions thin. Some reviewers mentioned that by showing PDAers how their behaviors effect others it teaches empathy, but I don’t believe shame is a tool for teaching empathy. Empathy requires a regulated nervous system, which is achieved through self-compassion, not shame.
I was hoping this book would help my daughter find her way to a feeling of safety when her sense of control is reduced— it that wasn’t even the goal of this book. Back to inventing my own tools…
April 2, 2023
Great for kids and parents
This is an eye-opening book for children to see themselves in a different light. It will help them develop a self-awareness that they might not otherwise achieve. Another aspect of this book is that since it is parent child interactive, parents can also learn to modify their own behaviors when expressing why they want their child to do things certain ways. Expectations are a two-way street.
This is an eye-opening book for children to see themselves in a different light. It will help them develop a self-awareness that they might not otherwise achieve. Another aspect of this book is that since it is parent child interactive, parents can also learn to modify their own behaviors when expressing why they want their child to do things certain ways. Expectations are a two-way street.
November 6, 2022
fill in the blanks
I think little kids will enjoy filling in the blanks and completing the story. The illustrations are cute and colorful. With the loving guidance of an adult, the book can help kids who have a PDA profile introspect and reflect on how their behaviors affect others. I think the matrix can be hard to grasp for younger kids, and I wish that in some of the situations, the adults in the story could be more flexible as well and explain the reasoning behind their rules/ requests. Why does jason have to wear that specific shirt- can it be another shirt? Why can’t jason use a different color of crayon? I feel it would be nice to give kids choices as well instead of asking them to always follow adults. These are good talking points to have with kids when reading the book.
I think little kids will enjoy filling in the blanks and completing the story. The illustrations are cute and colorful. With the loving guidance of an adult, the book can help kids who have a PDA profile introspect and reflect on how their behaviors affect others. I think the matrix can be hard to grasp for younger kids, and I wish that in some of the situations, the adults in the story could be more flexible as well and explain the reasoning behind their rules/ requests. Why does jason have to wear that specific shirt- can it be another shirt? Why can’t jason use a different color of crayon? I feel it would be nice to give kids choices as well instead of asking them to always follow adults. These are good talking points to have with kids when reading the book.
February 22, 2023
This book is a must-read for children who have a PDA profile and who may need help managing their emotions. The book offers an interactive and personalized approach to understanding and coping with feelings. I loved how original it was, and really made kids think about ways they can learn to self regulate their behavior.
It allows children to fill in the blanks and select what fits for them, ultimately creating a tailored approach to understanding their emotions. I found the illustrations bright and appealing and the written exercises engaging.
It allows children to fill in the blanks and select what fits for them, ultimately creating a tailored approach to understanding their emotions. I found the illustrations bright and appealing and the written exercises engaging.
January 5, 2023
It’s All About You and Your Choices
I love that this book provides the fill in the blank options for the child to choose what is best for him/her. This also allows the child to move toward or away from and recognize what is clearly most important to them. The child will essentially be creating a customized book about their thoughts and feelings through illustrations and words. Very creative!
I love that this book provides the fill in the blank options for the child to choose what is best for him/her. This also allows the child to move toward or away from and recognize what is clearly most important to them. The child will essentially be creating a customized book about their thoughts and feelings through illustrations and words. Very creative!
March 30, 2023
great tool for kids to learn to be flexible
This interactive book is a helpful tool for children. Easy to understand, the children will draw their own characters and decide who they want to be. This book reflects on what is essential and how to get there with daily life scenarios as examples. Highly recommended for any child, but especially for children who struggle with flexibility. (PDA)
This interactive book is a helpful tool for children. Easy to understand, the children will draw their own characters and decide who they want to be. This book reflects on what is essential and how to get there with daily life scenarios as examples. Highly recommended for any child, but especially for children who struggle with flexibility. (PDA)
November 8, 2022
Being Flexible
A nice book for children to overcome negative emotions. Jason learns to manage his feelings and thoughts. The book includes a practice time page with different situations. Throughout the book the children can write what they think about Jason's feelings. There are further questions asked at the end of the book.
A nice book for children to overcome negative emotions. Jason learns to manage his feelings and thoughts. The book includes a practice time page with different situations. Throughout the book the children can write what they think about Jason's feelings. There are further questions asked at the end of the book.
November 22, 2022
This is a great book. It is interactive that I enjoyed. I know that kids will enjoy learning, understanding how behaviour affects not only them but the people that care about are affected as well. This will make a great addition to the family library. ee
I choose discarding because this book is well written and helpful to kids with the lessons all throughout the book.
I choose discarding because this book is well written and helpful to kids with the lessons all throughout the book.
December 12, 2022
Great book!
My son and I have read this book together twice and it has been helpful. His teacher has even commented that he sees him using some of the tools during class.
Written to support a child begin to understand strategies to help self-regulation.
Beautifully illustrated.
Fully recommend!
My son and I have read this book together twice and it has been helpful. His teacher has even commented that he sees him using some of the tools during class.
Written to support a child begin to understand strategies to help self-regulation.
Beautifully illustrated.
Fully recommend!
January 29, 2023
Great activity book
This workbook has great ideas to help kids to learn how to react in certain situations. Fun activities for children to help them think through situations. We’re going to use this book for my niece who needs a little guidance in situational thinking. Loved the illustrations and fill in the blank sections.
This workbook has great ideas to help kids to learn how to react in certain situations. Fun activities for children to help them think through situations. We’re going to use this book for my niece who needs a little guidance in situational thinking. Loved the illustrations and fill in the blank sections.
May 12, 2023
The book is Not An Ordinary story book, it's a interesting educational book cum journal. I liked the concept very much. It interact with the reader and brings out the direction from the kid... Book hover around day to day options and kids choice to opt for the better one... Illustration and the diagrams are easy and good. It's a innovative book.
September 1, 2023
creative problem solving and beautiful pictures
I really enjoy “I’m learning to be flexible”. I got the e-book version on my Kindle unlimited but me and my nephew was able to still do some of the activities. We will be buying the regular version so that we can write inside of the book. I really like how the book teaches about behavior and problem-solving skills.
I really enjoy “I’m learning to be flexible”. I got the e-book version on my Kindle unlimited but me and my nephew was able to still do some of the activities. We will be buying the regular version so that we can write inside of the book. I really like how the book teaches about behavior and problem-solving skills.
November 10, 2022
A very introspective book
A truly lovely book. A good way for children to learn how to self regulate their behaviour and emotions, written in a simple yet engaging way, with colourful vivid illustrations.
A truly lovely book. A good way for children to learn how to self regulate their behaviour and emotions, written in a simple yet engaging way, with colourful vivid illustrations.
December 31, 2022
Great resource for families
This children's book is ideal to help learn coping skills. By seeing different possible outcomes as results from their behavior, they can rethink their actions. Excellent resource for families to use.
This children's book is ideal to help learn coping skills. By seeing different possible outcomes as results from their behavior, they can rethink their actions. Excellent resource for families to use.
January 4, 2023
helpful
Nice book introducing a new concept to kid’s behaviour. I was not aware of the PDA condition before, but I do think any kid with over caring parents, have a problem with overcontrol. Illustrations are beautiful!
Nice book introducing a new concept to kid’s behaviour. I was not aware of the PDA condition before, but I do think any kid with over caring parents, have a problem with overcontrol. Illustrations are beautiful!
March 2, 2023
Help Your Child Get Unstuck
Sometimes behaviors make your child feel stuck. This book introduces ways to work through certain behaviors toward becoming more flexible, which leads to greater happiness. It’s a great book to use as you work through behaviors with your child.
Sometimes behaviors make your child feel stuck. This book introduces ways to work through certain behaviors toward becoming more flexible, which leads to greater happiness. It’s a great book to use as you work through behaviors with your child.
March 30, 2023
Book teaches how to be flexible in a relatable way
I love the way this book uses behavior science to help children with PDA or who simply like to control. Young readers will find the well-illustrated book easy to read and the activities helpful and relatable.
I love the way this book uses behavior science to help children with PDA or who simply like to control. Young readers will find the well-illustrated book easy to read and the activities helpful and relatable.
April 29, 2023
This is an interactive and engaging book for kids and adults alike. It promotes self-confidence, improves writing and drawing skills, and helps kids explore their feelings. It's practical and the provided tools are self-explanatory.
May 15, 2023
Tips for the Stubborn Ones!
Maybe stubborn isn’t a PC term, but I hear many parents expressing frustration about their kids’ “inflexibility!” This seems like a great workbook for the strong-willed child and am looking forward to trying it out!
Maybe stubborn isn’t a PC term, but I hear many parents expressing frustration about their kids’ “inflexibility!” This seems like a great workbook for the strong-willed child and am looking forward to trying it out!
August 29, 2023
Your Choices Matter
Being flexible is an important part of growing up for children. There are always options to pick a behavior that everyone will be happy with. This book has many activities and suggestions for children. Highly recommended
Being flexible is an important part of growing up for children. There are always options to pick a behavior that everyone will be happy with. This book has many activities and suggestions for children. Highly recommended
September 7, 2023
Beautiful and easy to use picture book for children from an expert
I have come across other books in behavioral science which are too wordy and complex for the child and or parent. This book makes it very easy for children to comprehend and understand and apply the learning activities. It is beautifully, illustrated easy to use, and helps students with PDA problems or profile. I love the QR code at the back for supplemental resources.
I have come across other books in behavioral science which are too wordy and complex for the child and or parent. This book makes it very easy for children to comprehend and understand and apply the learning activities. It is beautifully, illustrated easy to use, and helps students with PDA problems or profile. I love the QR code at the back for supplemental resources.
April 10, 2023
interactive workbook
Very interactive workbook targeting PDA & inflexibility with questions that require responses which will help a child understand their thoughts and feelings.
Very interactive workbook targeting PDA & inflexibility with questions that require responses which will help a child understand their thoughts and feelings.
July 25, 2023
Amazing
A great book filled with lots of activities and tips for kids. Absolutely loved it. Adorable and cute illustrations. Loved it.
A great book filled with lots of activities and tips for kids. Absolutely loved it. Adorable and cute illustrations. Loved it.
Displaying 1 - 23 of 23 reviews