The Parenting Map: Step-By-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship

by Shefali Tsabary

A revolutionary new parenting method by the New York Times bestselling author of The Conscious Parent and The Awakened Family.

Every parent is capable of raising happy, healthy, and emotionally grounded children. Despite this, too many of us struggle along the journey. From the fast-changing realities of social media to the fear that permeates our culture, to the generational expectations that are unconsciously placed on children, the pressures on parents and children have reached a critical moment. We feel it and our children feel it. But there is a solution.

With over two decades experience working directly with parents, acclaimed clinical psychologist and multiple bestselling author Dr. Shefali offers a profoundly practical and groundbreaking parenting solution that helps parents actualize their deepest desires for their children. This step-by-step guide disrupts toxic inherited patterns and replaces them with authentic connections that allow us to see and respond to our children for who they are and who they can become. The result is that our children emerge more empowered, healthy, and thriving in the freedom of their true expression.

Complete with paradigm shifting wisdom, illuminating client stories, and detailed practices, The Parenting Map is that evidenced based, solution-oriented manual that every parent has been searching for and the one that we all wish our parents had.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Audiobook, Family, Childrens

15 pages, Audio CD

Published February 28, 2023

About the author

Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., was exposed to Eastern philosophy at an early age and integrates its teachings with Western psychology, having received her doctorate in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University in New York. This blend of East and West allow her to reach a global audience and establishes her as one of a kind in the field of mindfulness psychology for families.

Dr. Shefali Tsabary lectures extensively on conscious parenting around the world and is in private practice. She is author of the award winning parenting book, The Conscious Parent as the newly released Out of Control: Why Disciplining Your Child Won't Work and What Will, as well as It's a Mom: What You Should Know About the Early Years of Motherhood, which debuted on the Indian National bestseller list for four weeks. Dr. Tsabary lives in New York City.

Reviews

[Megan · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first heard Dr. Shefali on Jen Hatmaker’s podcast Season 51 Episode 4. It was an inspiring podcast and if you like this author, you should give that a listen. In that podcast, Dr. Shefali actually recommends spending time with your kids and to be present, just be a regular person to your kids and only offering them tips and tricks if they ask you for your advice. Who knew that information so basic could be so powerful? This book is extremely eye opening. It has the clues I was looking for when I felt like something was tweaked with my parenting style. It was me! I’ve always been open with my kids and let them show me who they were but I never thought about how my advice might not even apply to their generation or most importantly their personality. Things are forever changing and what I might think of as the right thing to do, might not actually be right anymore. I really resonated with the first part of the book, but then the next half with the different egos lost me a bit. None of those examples were a good description of me or my kids so I just couldn’t relate with anything that was said from that moment on because it was all in relation to those categories. I almost wish it was broken down into two separate books. Here are some takeaways I wrote down from her book:

Steps to consider:
1. Realize it was your own ego that was the reason you had children. You didn’t do it for them, you had them for yourself or from what you thought society wanted out of you. Either way, it wasn’t for them, they didn’t exist.

2. You had a plan in your head about what kind of opportunities you were going to give your kid - opportunities that you never had. You honestly thought that if you fixed those things for them, it could create a perfect childhood and they would be adults with a strong base to stand on. Dr. Shefali challenges us to instead, view what that image looks like as if it were a movie and see how you can stop being a director and let them write their own story as you become an audience member or helping in the background with the sets.

3. Anything you plot out for your child and don’t ask their opinion is setting them up to create a blockage of their true self. Dr s writes: “When humans are allowed to carve out their own life experiences, based on their own authentic dreams and visions, they grow resilient and worthy. They see themselves as intrinsically “good enough.” We think if we could only right the wrongs that happened to us, we could create a perfect life for our kids. But we sometimes aren’t factoring in their specific personality…which would throw our tips off the mark in a big way. When you insert a completely different human being into your equation, the variables in the equation have now changed. Did your parents impose their expectations for you in these categories? Are you imposing any of your own likes and dislikes onto your children? Success, happiness, good/bad, love, marriage, parenthood, money, sex, beauty. My parents did a pretty amazing job raising me but I noticed that there were 3 categories they imposed their views and it really messed with my path. Those are Success, marriage and parenthood. From my dad, he made comments under his breath that I was expected to go to a State college (or he would think less of me), I had to get married locally (he made it known he thought little of people who chose to have a destination wedding), and both him and my mom made it clear they really wanted grandchildren (as if that doesn’t put pressure on my body to preform-yikes). So I told myself I would never do that to my children. But it doesn’t come easy, you have to keep your thoughts inside. Dr. Shefali says that it still works if both parents aren’t on board, but I don’t think I agree. Some kids want the approval of both parents and so, even one parent who is telling you that you are doing life wrong is going to shake your confidence. But yeah, it doesn’t hurt to know that one parent believes in your choices.

Here is one example from my life… I always wished my parents had started me learning a second language when I was younger so that I could communicate to another group of people when I got older. So I pushed my agenda off on my daughter with Spanish classes. She liked the first teacher but when she transferred to another class, she told me she didn’t want to keep doing it. She even looked visibly un-excited and not her usual passionate self. With sadness in my heart I agreed with her. I thought maybe it was may fault that I sent her to a bad class or maybe I should have started her in immersion when she was a baby. But we had looked at some of those immersion programs and one of them had a bad vibe and the other was too far away for me to have a good quality of life. So I made the best choice with what I had available at the time. I had tried to offer her something I had always wanted for myself, but it turns out she didn’t want it. The important thing is that I believed her and she knew she could count on me to stand up for her. It later was revealed that there were really were some bad kids in the classroom-one even through a shoe at the teacher. Not more than one month later, she said that her and her friends wanted to speak to each other in sign language. They formed a group, she rented books from the library, she found a teacher at her after care that knew how to sign and helped her with questions she had. When it seemed like she wanted to keep up with it, I went online and found a 30 minute sign language zoom class with kids her age. She loved it! After the class, I asked her if she wanted to book another session, if she said no, then I was easily prepared to just back away and not go any further with it. But she said yes, she really liked being able to use her new skills with people who are fluent with sign language. I am so happy I listened to what she was telling me instead of pushing my agenda. How many other things are we pushing? If you are a pushing parent, reading this book is so important.

From the book:

“As parents, we need to ask, “Does this choice allow my child to feel liberated or encaged?”

“…children feel seen and honored for their feelings and trust that the parents will consider these with respect and gravity.”

“When we give our opinion without being asked or before listening fully to someone’s experience, we inadvertently communicate that their response is wrong. This message robs them of their voice and their right to their own authentic experience.”

[Rachel Hills · Rating 5 out of 5]

I picked up this book because I’d read an interview with Dr Shefali talking about the importance of parenting children as who they are, not as who we want them to be. I expected a book on identifying your child’s core essence, and adapting your parenting to their needs. What I found was something much deeper: years of excellent therapy wrapped up in a week-long read that will make you rethink not just your relationship with your children, but your relationship with your own parents, and of course, with yourself.

[Stephanie Winn · Rating 5 out of 5]

The author continually talked about how ground breaking and life changing this book is and that grated on my nerves. But, the content was really good and has actually impacted how I think about and parent my kids.

[Heather Welch · Rating 5 out of 5]

AMAZING! I learned so much about myself personally and professionally. I have learned so much about others and their styles, which has allowed me to understand them more. Every parent should read this. Looking forward to breaking the cycle and being a better parent.

[Andrada Papatoiu · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book like a glass of wine: One sip at a time! There is so much we still have to discover about ourselves. This book focuses on the parent, because parenting is a skill nobody has in the beginning; we all have to learn how to parent a child. In its pages I found more about myself, about my husband, my parents and my boy. We are unique inviduals, but we have so much in common with other people. If we are able to understand our roots, our instincts, our reactions, this makes it easier to break cycles and build a happy and strong bond with our children.
As a minus for the book, I always have trouble with this awakening concept (Yes, I am looking at you Eckhart Tolle) - but I agree that knowledge is power and changing habits is possible.

[Eu și cărțile · Rating 4 out of 5]

3,5⭐

[Natalie]

I read all of Shefali’s books. East meets west psychology is my jam. Her tone can be a little off putting for some but it’s only because she’s so passionate. Also, her ideas are complex, multifaceted, and require a hard look in the mirror.

I get it, people like and want actionable steps. But I think it’s hard to put such a complex, intuitive journey into actionable steps. However, this book will be a good start for a lot of people.

[Erin Gainey · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5

[Jenna · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was timely. Quite literally after finishing the book I was able to immediately apply the tools I learned to help my 14-year-old daughter. I was able to overcome my ego and truly listen to her, accept her fully, help us to understand her mental-health struggle, and take steps toward wellness. I am so grateful.
I have read so many parenting books, and this one, hands down, has brought my understanding of the parent/child relationship to the next level. So many books cover the surface of problems and tools for parenting and can be very helpful, but this book dives deep, allowing for true transformation.
That being said, this book takes work. You need time to hear/heal/understand your own inner child and understand the cycles of shame and fear that need to be broken in your life. And you need time to understand your ego and those of your children. Along the way there is compassion and understanding, and lots of helpful acronyms to help remember the goals and tools.
The book references Dr. Kristin Neff, who wrote a book about self compassion which helped me so much. I believe Dr. Kristin Neff's work prepared me for this book, and would recommend anyone reading my review to accompany Dr. Kristin Neff's work with that of Dr. Shefali Tsabary's.

[Diana Coralia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excepțională cartea! Conduce la multa introspecție, iertare de sine și crearea unui nou eu mai puternic. Abordarea directă a aspectelor de parenting te scutură, dar sunt un instrument puternic de a te face mai conștient de propria persoana.

[Maria · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good book, gives you a lot of interesting informations and maybe a new perspective about parenting. For me, a little bit too long (o got bored at the end); it kind of repeats the same ideas.

[Mădălina Turcu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Very nice and useful. I feel the book could have been a lot shorter, as many of the ideas are repeated many times.

[Adelina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Practical easy read! Feeling very fortunate to have read it while only having a 9 month old.

[Anmolbir Randhawa · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dr Shefali is the author of the book. Trust me she has divided the book into 3 stages.
Stage 1: It explores your relationship with your child in great detail
Stage 2: It explores your relationship as a child with your parents.
Stage 3: Conflict Resolution


Stage 1:
• Focus on the right problem: The author advises us to focus on the correct problem. If you feel frustrated regarding some acts of you child, asking this question might help: “Is it really because of my frustration or is it the past emotional baggage, I am carrying from my own childhood”
• Destroy the fantasy: Parents have certain expectations related to their children which might be exact opposite to the reality. For e.g., a mother wants her child to be a good athlete. But in reality her child is not good in sports, rather he is good at debate.
• Stop controlling your children: As the famous poet, Khalil Gibran said: “Your kids come from you, not through you.” Thus, one should stop controlling each and every action of their child. At the best, you can advise them not to do so. Let them learn from failures, they have their own share of struggles. Don’t ease you their take. Sometimes, it is out of our own personal guilt: “Am I giving my 100% to my children”. Remember, no one is perfect.
• Stop the endless chase of happiness and success: We want our children to be happy and successful as the same time. When asked about the notion of happiness to a group of people, everyone had their own answers. For one, happiness was getting a promotion in job, while for other it was spending more time with his family. Thus, these terms are subjective.
• Dump your Savior Complex: We want to save our kids from each bad part of life, whether it is sex, drugs or other practices. It genetically, our savior complex. According to psychology, too much control might actually leads to the opposite.
Example: forcing our children to do exceptionally well in exams, might actually lead them feeling burned out and stressed.
• Discard the labels: Many a times, we tend to label our children.
Example: my child is so lazy, stubborn, stupid, arrogant, socially introvert etc. According to psychology, out thoughts, emotions and behaviors are directly linked to each other. Thus, refrain from labelling your child as bad or even good. People are what they are i.e. neutral.

PART 2 of the book:


1. Parent’s own childhood experiences

This part states that the how the parents raise their child is in direct co- relation with how they wanted to be raised in their own childhood.

For example: A parent wanted to learn violin in his childhood. But due to the dogmatic view of the society and his parents, he never got the opportunity to do so. Now, as a parent, he would want his own child to play violin. But, does the child actually want to be a violinist. Maybe the child is a strong athlete and want to invest more time in it.

2. Parents need to face their own fears:
Parents themselves have their own fears, such as fear of being rejected or abandoned. These fears trigger them to show some kind of maladaptive behavior. So, it is very important for the parents themselves to be aware of their own insecurities.
3. Types of imposter ego parents wear:

Let’s take a scenario.
A child said the following wordings to his parent:
“I hate you, you are the worst parent in the world. Life would have been much better, if I were an orphan”.

The ego of the parent will emerge in the following ways:

FIGHTER EGO: A parent with this ego might respond back, “What the fu*k did you say?” Thus, he will show “anger”

FIXER EGO: A parent with this ego might try to control the child’s perception towards him, instead of controlling the child’s behavior.

FRIGNER EGO: Such people our attention- seekers. They might think, “How this situation might look to the outside world”. They would tend to find all the ways in order to avoid being perceived negatively by the society.

FREEZER EGO: Such parent will be paralyzed or will feel freeze by these wordings. Such people will prefer to tend to their own comfort and will hide behind an emotionless, cold wall.

FLEER LOOP: Such parents will not take it personally, since they are completely disconnected from any personal responsibility due to their own traumas. Their children might feel themselves as invisible, and realize that they are insignificant to their parents.


Stage 3: Conflict Resolution

1. Setting boundaries?
The author shares the experience of her client. His name was Mr. John (name changed). He made a strict routine for her daughter, Marsha. It included, to get up at 7 a.m., have breakfast by 8 a.m., go to school etc. The bedtime was sharp at 9.00 p.m. John made her daughter to strictly follow the routine.
As parents we could be more empathetic towards our kid’s situation. When John realized this, he was able to mold the routine. Letting Marsha get up at 9.00 am on the weekends was perfectly alright for him

2. Author’s view related to making mistakes
It’s completely normal for the kids to make mistakes. Mistakes are first hand experiences, which teaches a lot. Parents should not spoon feed their kids. Rather, parents should empower the kids’ by showing compassion and humility. Mistakes teach the children how to problem solve and find ways to recover and rebirth. One should have unconditional positive regard.
3. VENT:
It’s the author’s way to communicate their feelings effectively to their children:

1. Validate: It means meeting the children exactly where they are.
For example: The child comes home crying since his friend teased him at school. Rather than saying, “stop overreacting, it happens with everyone”, one can validate it by saying, “I know, how you feel. Tell me more about it. This might ease out the emotional burden on you.”
2. Empathize:
What is not empathy?
a. One doesn’t have to go through the exact same experience in order to empathize with anyone.
b. One doesn’t have to solve somebody else’s problem in order to feel empathy.
c. One doesn’t have to micromanage anyone’s life situations, create insight, or to help the other person come to a new awareness of their own reality.
d. One doesn’t have to judge the other person. Rather empathy is being non- judgmental.
How to effectively empathize:
a. Show detachment: Detachment and depersonalization are important in order to make the children feel heard. Instead of saying, “Don’t blame me for it, it’s your own mistake that you earned less marks”, say this, “I know how you feel, it might be quite difficult to get less marks, but don’t worry, talk things out.”
b. Show respect and recognition: If the kid is having an angry outburst. Say this, “I know what you are feeling, but can you lower down your voice a little bit, if it’s ok”, rather than shouting back in return.
c. Apologize: Saying sorry doesn’t make oneself small. Rather it make the person much bigger. Apology should be from the heart, rather than just words.
3. Normalize/ Neutral: It means to stay neutral in the state of chaos. For example: Your kid is really scared after seeing a spider. Instead of reacting with terror, just say, “Son, if ok to feel this was, I was the same during my childhood, but it just a living creature, no?”
4. Transform: It doesn’t mean transforming you child situation yourself. Rather it includes giving reassance so that the child is able to transform his/her situation all by himself.

Always say YES:
There are two modes of the brain: doing mode and being mode. The doing mode lives in present, in the moment. While, the being mode resides in the past or the future, thinking about the various possibilities.
The kids are always in the doing mode. They are not thinking about the future.
Thus, when the kid makes a plan whether to buy something, never say no. Always say yes. Saying no might make the child fixated on just one thing, while saying yes might make him think about the next moment.

Embrace the new you:
You might feel, if the information regarding how to raise my children now, I had 10 years ago, life would have been so easy. Why to think like that?
Think this way: “You have woken from a long sleep of 1 decade”. Now make the changes which you always wanted to make, in order to make the life more full filled. After all you only live once.

[Karolina · Rating 2 out of 5]

I listened to this book as an audiobook. The first third of the book (Part 1) felt like I was being yelled at/sternly lectured by the author, it was quite condescending. Maybe if you have never considered that certain parental actions or behaviours could be problematic or negative, then this part of the book could be eye opening. To me, it was information I'd already heard and thought about before, but presented in a very accusatory way. I almost stopped listening at this point but all the positive reviews made me persevere. I'd recommend skipping this first part, it is completely unnecessary and you can pick up the book from Part 2. Part 2 is basically a summary of emotionally immature behaviours as presented in parents. Nothing revolutionary here, but an easy to digest overview if you've never looked into this before. Part 3 contained what I felt was the most valuable information, how to approach our kids given our "egos" and our child's personality. The last two steps were also very wishy washy about rebirthing yourself, I'd skip them.

[Lynae Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was powerful and perspective changing. This is one of the best parenting & self-help books I have read yet and is the closest thing I have seen to an actual parenting instruction manual. Dr. Shefali explains things wonderfully, empathetically and realistically. It is a challenging read in the sense that it is very personally revealing and hard to discover difficult truths about oneself. But it is amazingly insightful at the same time. I found it enlightening to many of my relationships, not just the ones I parent. I know I will be recommending this often and I'm headed straight to buy a hard copy so I can mark it up and revisit it again and again.

[Alli Wilson · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is more of a therapy session than a map. It makes a couple assumptions:
-All people had a horrible childhood and unresolved issues from it
-Parents will take out these issues on their children
-The American way of parenting is both normal around the world and traditional

If those are true for you, then it is worth reading. If you were actually just looking for tips on connecting better with your children, I would recommend reading:
-Hunt, Gather, Parent
-The Self-Driven Child

Good luck!!!

[Ashley Connolly · Rating 3 out of 5]

Great principles but nothing she didn't already say in her landmark book the Conscious Parent.

[Tim O'neill · Rating 4 out of 5]

Valuable. The section that spoke to my needs most effectively was the one that had types and subtypes of responses that parents used, and the feelings these responses are actually covering up. It was helpful, later on, that the narrative returned to these responses as one kids can use as well.

But this is a full semester-long (at least!) course on parenting—conscious parenting—and it’s a little bewildering reading (or listening to) it as a book: each chapter has valuable insight, but each one had a new acronym to remember and you would have to make this book your at-least part-time job to get it all in. For my purposes, it would have been more effective had it stuck to that one types-and-subtypes theme thruöut, returning to it with each scenaiö.

Also, like others, I was a little put off by her tone. She dœs have a lot to contribute, but hearing up front how mind-blowing it was gonna be really took away from that effect. Like, other mind-blowing works like Thinking, Fast and Slow or The New Jim Crow: Mass Incarceration in the Age of Colorblindness don’t, if I recall, spend much wording on how worldview-altering the ensuïng book was goïng to be, they were just content to blow your mind.

[Rayfienta Gumay · Rating 4 out of 5]

The book is intriguing and easy to read. It is very practical in engaging readers to look within themselves and be conscious of the ways they approach parenting, which may be affected by self-centered needs and even childhood traumas. Some chapters are helpful to make me reflect and identify how annoying I might be, and how I can grow both as a parent and as an (adult) person.

While I agree with most of what the author says, I have to say that some contents of this book will likely appeal more to secular families and not for or value-driven or religious ones. In some parts, I find the author’s encouragement to let children experience and make trial and error (yes, including criminal behavior and drug/substance use) rather than teaching them what’s right or wrong, as crossing the line of my parental values. I personally would never risk my children becoming criminals, which in most cases means hurting themselves and others, just for them to learn a lesson I can teach beforehand.

The author also calls out parents who influence their children through traditions and religion as “prescriptive.” This is a perspective I find difficult to entirely accept, as I believe that as a family, we should be able to share together what we hold dear, including our traditions and faith. In spite of how different experiences will shape them, I personally think that raising our children without those values and wisdom is to deprive them of the love, care, even sense of belonging that are foundational to our lives.

[Heather · Rating 4 out of 5]

I listened via Hoopla and it is read by the author. I have not read Tsabary's other books.

I think I stumbled upon "conscious parenting" on my own and had already incorporated a lot of this book in my life, though it's always a good idea to freshen up and listen. The examples earlier in the book didn't particularly resonate with me, mostly I think because I've been incorporating this. However, there's always something to think about. While reading this book, I had a conflict with a kid about how they reacted to a particular family activity. I really had my identity caught up in it and was following a particular story for my kid. But stories are expectations and expectations lead to suffering and I have to let go of that story so that I don't get hung up about my kid's reaction.

Anyway, if you're used to regular punishment-style (grounding, yelling, time-outs, etc) parenting then this probably has more for you. I did find value in reading this, even though a lot of it was already familiar.

[Austin Hope · Rating 5 out of 5]

“My child is a human being experiencing human feelings of pain and struggle. These are normal feelings for a human. Every human has these messy feelings. These are not bad feelings. These are worthy feelings that will allow my child to grow into a resilient being who can self-regulate and self-govern. If I wipe away these feelings, my child will lose an opportunity to be authentic. I do not need my child to be happy or successful in order to feel good as a parent. My worth doesn’t come from their grades, moods, or experiences; it comes from my own. I will hold space for all that shows up authentically for my child, and through my embrace of the is-ness, I will teach my child to embrace their is-ness as well.”
― Shefali Tsabary, The Parenting Map: Step-by-Step Solutions to Consciously Create the Ultimate Parent-Child Relationship

We are the guardians of our children's essence

[Pula Takwana · Rating 4 out of 5]

Being a parent is hard. Like, really hard. But Dr. Shefali's "The Parenting Map" dropped a truth bomb on me: the toughest kid we'll ever parent is ourselves. Her chapter on guilt, blame, and regret really resonated with me as I find myself in that black hole more often than I’d like.

The book's not about quick fixes, it's about the messy, often painful work of self-discovery. It's about facing our own baggage, the stuff we carry from our childhood, and how it shapes our parenting. It's about becoming more aware, more compassionate, not just for our kids, but for ourselves.

"The Parenting Map" isn't a magic wand, but it's a powerful tool. It's a reminder that awareness is just the first step. The real work is in taking action, in changing our patterns, in becoming the parents we want to be. And that's a journey worth taking. So onward we go!

[Amber · Rating 4 out of 5]

Dr Shefali really has a unique way of looking at and explaining the child/parent relationship. She is quite brilliant in her POV and studies looking in the dynamic. I am a child of the 80's and now have children myself and as most all generations can say, I am not raising my kids with a lot of the parenting techniques that my parents used. Not a good/bad thing...just a times-are-different thing. If you're looking for a way to connect with your kids and really see them, this book is a great one to pick up!

[Cynthia Navarrete · Rating 5 out of 5]

This one I listened in audiobook, narrated by the author. What makes this parenthood so different from others is that it focuses on the adult. How we as parents need to learn first to mabage our ego, traumas, learned behaviors around parenting that breaks the connection with our kids. I loved the mask concept that she brings visibility on how we automatically react depending the mask we put on unconsciously. Amazing parenthood book that drives to work towards our inner self and peace before to deeply connect woth our kids.

[Diana Cristea · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book gives a deep understanding of parenting concepts, with a focus on the parent’s own growth and transformation. I found it fascinating to notice patterns and character traits I see in everyday life. The book presents its ideas clearly and provides practical tools for parents to better understand themselves, while acknowledging that simply engaging with the process is already a meaningful step. I really enjoyed reading it during a holiday, when I had time to reflect, absorb, and start applying its lessons.

[Gillian Scahill · Rating 5 out of 5]

The Parenting Map will make you wake up!!! We cannot control our children nor should we try. But we can take care of them and we can guide and influence them. But we to acknowledge that we are deeply conditioned from culture and our own child hood. We need to clean up our stuff so that we can succeed in having deeper connection with our children. It is their birth right. READ this book and then read The Conscious Parent and The awakened family.

[Gretchen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I was disappointed thinking this would be revelatory. The first 200 pages were irrellevent to me, the examples all being parents using harsh words etc. The remainder of the book was much better with practical application. I guess the value of this book depends on how messed up your inner child is and how you are responding to your children.

[Mary Rolston · Rating 5 out of 5]

A book to be read by all! It is critical for parents, grandparents, educators and medical professionals AND I’d argue people who do not have children or seniors. It enlightens us all on how we unconsciously allow ‘old world’ thinking to perpetuate a negative/bully/ineffective cycle of acting and reacting. Bravo Dr Shefali!

[Alexandru Cucu · Rating 5 out of 5]

O carte care te pune pe gânduri si te face sa-ti analizezi comportamentul fata de copilul tau. Iti sugerez să citești cartea cu mintea si sufletul deschise. Îmbrățișarea parentajului conștient, despre care vorbește autoarea mi se pare o misiune destul de grea, mai ales când ai fost crescut într-un mod in care controlul si supunerea au fost la ordinea zilei.