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The Unscratchables
Animal Farm meets The Simpsons in this inventive twist on the hard-boiled detective novel, featuring a world made up exclusively of cats, dogs, and one ruthless fox...
Bull terrier Crusher McNash is a no-nonsense homicide detective who eats out of the can and only bathes when his boss orders him to. He’s just been thrownaboneaboutagruesome case involving Rottweilers torn apart by a savage killer, and the only lead he’s been able to sniff out is “an impression of movement” at the murder scene. Crusher suspects the killer is a cat, and there’s nothing he hates more than “the whole cream-lapping, wool-juggling, pajama-wearing, fence-sitting, bird-torturing, furball-coughing lot of them.” But he’ll have to start barking up a different tree if he wants help solving this case as his partner on this case is soymilk-drinking, pressed-suit- wearing Cassius Lap, an agent for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation).
As this odd couple puts their paws together, their investiga- tion takes them from the bow- els of the Kennel into the tony streets of Kathattan. Soon, they begin to uncover a vast con- spiracy involving a cat who has been trained as a super-killer, capable of growing in size and ferocity and killing any dog who gets in his way—and who may be working for a media baron fox. But they’ll need to unravel the conspiracy, and quickly, if they want to stop the next killing before it’s too late.
Witty and irresistibly entertaining, this genre- bending mystery boldly mixes human and animal sensibilities in an entertaining satire of our cur- rent society.
Bull terrier Crusher McNash is a no-nonsense homicide detective who eats out of the can and only bathes when his boss orders him to. He’s just been thrownaboneaboutagruesome case involving Rottweilers torn apart by a savage killer, and the only lead he’s been able to sniff out is “an impression of movement” at the murder scene. Crusher suspects the killer is a cat, and there’s nothing he hates more than “the whole cream-lapping, wool-juggling, pajama-wearing, fence-sitting, bird-torturing, furball-coughing lot of them.” But he’ll have to start barking up a different tree if he wants help solving this case as his partner on this case is soymilk-drinking, pressed-suit- wearing Cassius Lap, an agent for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation).
As this odd couple puts their paws together, their investiga- tion takes them from the bow- els of the Kennel into the tony streets of Kathattan. Soon, they begin to uncover a vast con- spiracy involving a cat who has been trained as a super-killer, capable of growing in size and ferocity and killing any dog who gets in his way—and who may be working for a media baron fox. But they’ll need to unravel the conspiracy, and quickly, if they want to stop the next killing before it’s too late.
Witty and irresistibly entertaining, this genre- bending mystery boldly mixes human and animal sensibilities in an entertaining satire of our cur- rent society.
259 pages, Paperback
First published February 2, 2009
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 65 reviews
November 6, 2025
I really liked this book! It was silly and ridiculous and extra fun telling an old-fashioned hard-boiled, noir detective story. Now, some reviewers found the puns to be a bit much but I thought they made the book….just give yourself time to get used to them and then you will find yourself looking for them! Fun characters and a unique story-I smiled and giggled throughout the whole novel. I actually wouldn’t mind a sequel! Pure entertainment and one of my favorite books of the year!
From the book blurb: “Animal Farm meets The Simpsons in this inventive twist on the hard-boiled detective novel, featuring a world made up exclusively of cats, dogs, and one ruthless fox...
Bull terrier Crusher McNash is a no-nonsense homicide detective who eats out of the can and only bathes when his boss orders him to. He’s just been thrownaboneaboutagruesome case involving Rottweilers torn apart by a savage killer, and the only lead he’s been able to sniff out is “an impression of movement” at the murder scene. Crusher suspects the killer is a cat, and there’s nothing he hates more than “the whole cream-lapping, wool-juggling, pajama-wearing, fence-sitting, bird-torturing, furball-coughing lot of them.” But he’ll have to start barking up a different tree if he wants help solving this case as his partner on this case is soymilk-drinking, pressed-suit- wearing Cassius Lap, an agent for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation).”
From the book blurb: “Animal Farm meets The Simpsons in this inventive twist on the hard-boiled detective novel, featuring a world made up exclusively of cats, dogs, and one ruthless fox...
Bull terrier Crusher McNash is a no-nonsense homicide detective who eats out of the can and only bathes when his boss orders him to. He’s just been thrownaboneaboutagruesome case involving Rottweilers torn apart by a savage killer, and the only lead he’s been able to sniff out is “an impression of movement” at the murder scene. Crusher suspects the killer is a cat, and there’s nothing he hates more than “the whole cream-lapping, wool-juggling, pajama-wearing, fence-sitting, bird-torturing, furball-coughing lot of them.” But he’ll have to start barking up a different tree if he wants help solving this case as his partner on this case is soymilk-drinking, pressed-suit- wearing Cassius Lap, an agent for the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation).”
January 28, 2015
When I was reading The Unscratchables by Cornelius Kane I could not stop smiling. I just really enjoyed reading this book. And when it was done, I was sad to know that he never went on to write more in what easily could have been and entertaining series of novels. But when I sat down to write this review and really started thinking about why I liked the book I became stumped. Why did I like this novel? Looking at it critically all I can do is scratch my head in confusion and wonderment.
Let’s start out by looking at it on face value. It is on the surface a novel set in an alternate reality world in which anthropomorphized cats, dogs, and at least two foxes live in a New York City-like city. The novel it written in a classic noir mystery style to start with a hard-nosed police detective investigating the apparent gangland murder of two known gangster muscle. Think Mickey Spillane or Dashiell Hammett. This right here might be the answer to why I loved this novel. I love noir in movies and novels and I love Dogs. Combine the two and it almost guarantees that the book is going to be a hit, at least for me. I mean, isn’t Asta the best character in the Nick and Nora movies (Movies, not books I said). Now think how awesome it would have been if Asta had been solving the crimes! 5 star book so far.
Ok let’s discuss puns. The puns were never ending and just awful in this book. Here let me add to them, you could not swing a cat without hitting on pun on every page of this book. From a Whippet named “Flasha Lightning”, to an island named “Kathattan”, Mr. Kane punned, and punned until I thought my eyeballs were going to bleed. I swear the author even named one character Quentin Riossiti just so he could end the novel with the worst pun of the entire novel. The thing is the there were so many puns and they were so bad, that after a while they actually did become funny. Still I’m taking off ½ a star for the pun-torture. 4.5 star book.
Mr. Kane begged, borrowed, and “paid homage” to several sources for his plots. His FBI, Feline Bureau of Investigation, agent Cassius Lap, was definitely a cat version of the famous FBI agent Aloysius Prendergast from Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs novels. His character “Quentin Riossiti” is an obvious “homage” of Thomas Harris’s character “Hannibal Lecter.” This sort of begs the question; did I like the novel because it reminded me of other, better novels? Sorry Mr. Kane but I think I’m going to have to take of ½ a star for the possible plagiarism. Now a 4 star book.
The thing is once you get past the puns, the pop culture references and the obvious rip-offs from other novels, there was some real meat on this light-hearted bone of a story. The novel was written in 2009, a full 2 years before the “Occupy Wall Street” movement, but could have been used as a primer for the movement. That the author was able to wrap a satire of general society being kept ignorant and under control by the wealthy elite with mindless entertainments designed to delight but not to enlighten in an enjoyable murder mystery was ingenious. And in this Cornelius Kane stands and delivers. I’m giving this novel 4 stars.
Let’s start out by looking at it on face value. It is on the surface a novel set in an alternate reality world in which anthropomorphized cats, dogs, and at least two foxes live in a New York City-like city. The novel it written in a classic noir mystery style to start with a hard-nosed police detective investigating the apparent gangland murder of two known gangster muscle. Think Mickey Spillane or Dashiell Hammett. This right here might be the answer to why I loved this novel. I love noir in movies and novels and I love Dogs. Combine the two and it almost guarantees that the book is going to be a hit, at least for me. I mean, isn’t Asta the best character in the Nick and Nora movies (Movies, not books I said). Now think how awesome it would have been if Asta had been solving the crimes! 5 star book so far.
Ok let’s discuss puns. The puns were never ending and just awful in this book. Here let me add to them, you could not swing a cat without hitting on pun on every page of this book. From a Whippet named “Flasha Lightning”, to an island named “Kathattan”, Mr. Kane punned, and punned until I thought my eyeballs were going to bleed. I swear the author even named one character Quentin Riossiti just so he could end the novel with the worst pun of the entire novel. The thing is the there were so many puns and they were so bad, that after a while they actually did become funny. Still I’m taking off ½ a star for the pun-torture. 4.5 star book.
Mr. Kane begged, borrowed, and “paid homage” to several sources for his plots. His FBI, Feline Bureau of Investigation, agent Cassius Lap, was definitely a cat version of the famous FBI agent Aloysius Prendergast from Douglas Preston and Lincoln Childs novels. His character “Quentin Riossiti” is an obvious “homage” of Thomas Harris’s character “Hannibal Lecter.” This sort of begs the question; did I like the novel because it reminded me of other, better novels? Sorry Mr. Kane but I think I’m going to have to take of ½ a star for the possible plagiarism. Now a 4 star book.
The thing is once you get past the puns, the pop culture references and the obvious rip-offs from other novels, there was some real meat on this light-hearted bone of a story. The novel was written in 2009, a full 2 years before the “Occupy Wall Street” movement, but could have been used as a primer for the movement. That the author was able to wrap a satire of general society being kept ignorant and under control by the wealthy elite with mindless entertainments designed to delight but not to enlighten in an enjoyable murder mystery was ingenious. And in this Cornelius Kane stands and delivers. I’m giving this novel 4 stars.
December 2, 2009
The observant among my followers and friends may have observed that I added this book to the Currently Reading shelf and it moved to the Read shelf in less than 24 hours.
This celerity reflects two things: (1) I'm on vacation at the moment and have even more time than usual to read; and (2) the literary heft of this social satire.
It's not a bad or unenjoyable read. Kane creates a world of Dogs and Cats that mirrors modern Western civilization in its growing inequality between Haves (mainly the Cats) and the Have-Nots (mainly the Dogs), celebrity culture, media manipulation, and the dumbing down of culture, among other topical issues. The two main characters are "Crash" McNash, a bull terrier cop, and Cassius Lap, a Siamese cat agent of the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) who's called in to help investigate a murder that may involve a feral cat. There's also a cast of stock characters one might find in more human-centered crime books - the gruff but basically decent precinct captain, a couple of Mafiosi dons w/ bad Italian accents, and an evil media mogul (Phineas Reynard, clearly a mix of Rupert Murdoch and Silvio Berlusconi), for example.
Kane skewers both the bread-and-circuses culture of the hoi polloi as well as the hedonistic, me-culture of the elite but the greatest failure of the book, and what makes it a 2-star, is that there's no anger behind the satire, or at least outrage. Without that underlying passion, it's just an amusing trifle soon forgotten.
This celerity reflects two things: (1) I'm on vacation at the moment and have even more time than usual to read; and (2) the literary heft of this social satire.
It's not a bad or unenjoyable read. Kane creates a world of Dogs and Cats that mirrors modern Western civilization in its growing inequality between Haves (mainly the Cats) and the Have-Nots (mainly the Dogs), celebrity culture, media manipulation, and the dumbing down of culture, among other topical issues. The two main characters are "Crash" McNash, a bull terrier cop, and Cassius Lap, a Siamese cat agent of the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) who's called in to help investigate a murder that may involve a feral cat. There's also a cast of stock characters one might find in more human-centered crime books - the gruff but basically decent precinct captain, a couple of Mafiosi dons w/ bad Italian accents, and an evil media mogul (Phineas Reynard, clearly a mix of Rupert Murdoch and Silvio Berlusconi), for example.
Kane skewers both the bread-and-circuses culture of the hoi polloi as well as the hedonistic, me-culture of the elite but the greatest failure of the book, and what makes it a 2-star, is that there's no anger behind the satire, or at least outrage. Without that underlying passion, it's just an amusing trifle soon forgotten.
October 16, 2020
So there's a dog detective trying to solve a gruesome murder. Clues begin to point to the murderer being... A CAT! So a prissy cat from Kathattan, from the FBI (Feline Bureau of Investigation) joins the investigation. But the dog detective hates Siamese cats! Will they get along? No. But then yes.
There are all the archetypes of the dime store novel, but as dogs or cats. Mob bosses, corrupt side kick cops, insane serial killers, etc. The "Hannibal Lector" character is named Quentin Riossiti. Q. Riossiti. Get it?
There are a million dog or cat puns in this novel. There's also a somewhat interesting undercurrent of a conspiracy that lampoons American infantilism through consumerism, and so you are led to believe there will be a big pay off at the end. This novel, while sort of silly, will lead to something. Right?
When the dog detective and cat agent finally, finally find the feral murderer, finally there will be some point to all of it? Right? RIGHT?
No. Q. Riossiti "redeems" himself by saving the life of the dog detective.
And the big payoff...
is the line...
"'Twas Q. Riossiti killed the Cat."
THE END.
THAT'S IT.
WHAT.
NO.
But yes.
*sigh*
That is not a spoiler, no, nothing is spoiled, because the entire book leads up to the exact absence of substance.
Okay, so there's an Epilogue about the dog and cat teaming up and taking on corruption as the Unscratchables, but really, what a lazy ending. Awful. Or should I say, "pawful."
There are all the archetypes of the dime store novel, but as dogs or cats. Mob bosses, corrupt side kick cops, insane serial killers, etc. The "Hannibal Lector" character is named Quentin Riossiti. Q. Riossiti. Get it?
There are a million dog or cat puns in this novel. There's also a somewhat interesting undercurrent of a conspiracy that lampoons American infantilism through consumerism, and so you are led to believe there will be a big pay off at the end. This novel, while sort of silly, will lead to something. Right?
When the dog detective and cat agent finally, finally find the feral murderer, finally there will be some point to all of it? Right? RIGHT?
No. Q. Riossiti "redeems" himself by saving the life of the dog detective.
And the big payoff...
is the line...
"'Twas Q. Riossiti killed the Cat."
THE END.
THAT'S IT.
WHAT.
NO.
But yes.
*sigh*
That is not a spoiler, no, nothing is spoiled, because the entire book leads up to the exact absence of substance.
Okay, so there's an Epilogue about the dog and cat teaming up and taking on corruption as the Unscratchables, but really, what a lazy ending. Awful. Or should I say, "pawful."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
December 21, 2012
Crusher McNash is not thrilled when a murder case gets him paired with Siamese cat Cassius Lap. Crusher, a bull terrier, is not only worried about his image having to be seen around town with a cat, he also doesn’t like the way Lap is able to make him obey commands. The pair investigate some mysterious murders where rottweillers are torn apart by an ordinary housecat, which is only the tip of the iceberg in a nefarious scheme. While they try to solve the crime, Lap makes McNash aware of the psychological warfare going on everywhere around them, and in the end they become the Unscratchables.
I generally enjoy a creative allegory, and while this book did have a few recommendable aspects, they couldn’t overcome its flaws. Bad puns are taken to a brand-new level here, appearing in every paragraph and encompassing every aspect of the story. I was already rolling my eyes just a few pages in, and it only got more tedious as the story wore on. Though some skill was used in the differing personas of Lap and McNash, I found Crusher’s inner dialogue more than just slightly annoying. One of the best things I can say is that this book was short, and I won’t be seeking out any more of its kind.
I generally enjoy a creative allegory, and while this book did have a few recommendable aspects, they couldn’t overcome its flaws. Bad puns are taken to a brand-new level here, appearing in every paragraph and encompassing every aspect of the story. I was already rolling my eyes just a few pages in, and it only got more tedious as the story wore on. Though some skill was used in the differing personas of Lap and McNash, I found Crusher’s inner dialogue more than just slightly annoying. One of the best things I can say is that this book was short, and I won’t be seeking out any more of its kind.
Read
May 2, 2011L'arcinoto dilemma se faccia più notizia un cane che morde il padrone o viceversa si adatta bene a questo tentativo, tutto sommato non privo di interesse, di portare una critica di stampo sociale non proprio originale in una realtà a quattro zampe.
Una serie di omicidi rischiano di portare a galla la trama che si nasconde dietro una campagna elettorale "strana" e gettano squarci di luce sinistra sul tentativo del gotha finanziario di prendere il controllo dell'umanità. Pardon, della caninità e della felinità.
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Una serie di omicidi rischiano di portare a galla la trama che si nasconde dietro una campagna elettorale "strana" e gettano squarci di luce sinistra sul tentativo del gotha finanziario di prendere il controllo dell'umanità. Pardon, della caninità e della felinità.
Continua su
http://ghettodeilettori.blogspot.com/...
Read
October 26, 2016 When I started reading this, I thought I might not get far as it seemed kind of corny at first, the feline and canine puns were a bit much. But as I ventured further into The Kennels and Kathattan I realized this crime tale was much more than cheesy jokes. It really had claws, it had bite, and actually turned out to be a decent social commentary on today's society. Very good read, I'm glad I stuck with it.
April 4, 2015
Interesting read. I both loved and hated it. Hilarious at some moments and idiotically inane at others, it has a brilliance unto itself. As a writer, I can't imagine how complicated rewriting our world into a world of cats and dogs, so in that way, I tip my hat to Mr. Kane. I can't say the book was completely my taste however relying on puns and turns of common phrases into dog- and catspeak.
May 29, 2019
I picked up this book mostly because I wanted something mindless and dumb to read over the Memorial day weekend. It takes about a weekend to read too.
This book met that goal to a degree, but it also surprised me in it's biting satire (sorry, pun intended).
It's an old plot. Hard boiled detective forced to work with a prissy FBI agent, somehow they come to respect and even like each other. Kane borrows a bit from the genre. There is even a serial killer straight out of "Silence of the Lambs"; and no it's not Buffalo Bill.
The detective is an anthropomorphized dog and the FBI stands for the Feline Bureau of Investigation. What I like is that Kane does something that I've never really seen before in this type of fiction. The dogs, for the most part, act like dogs. For example, there is no indoor plumbing; and since dogs don't do well on ladders, roofs often leak. A dog will throw flea powder on like you and I use deodorant.
It's a nice touch and makes the world a little bit more believable. The cats have their own issues and their world, while not as drawn out as the dogs world, is still logical.
What really surprised me about the novel however is the social commentary. This world is split between the haves (the cats) and the have not's (the dogs). We get an earful about Fox News (in this case ran by an actual fox), social engineering, how politics use "command" words into tricking us - and their is such a thing as "Neuro-linguistic Programing" - and a variety of other social ills. All designed to keep the dogs in their place.
How the powers that be do this is exposed by a botched murder and the subsequent hunt for the murder.
I won't spoil any more of the plot.
Cornelius Kane (pen name for writer Anthony O'Neill) has a lot to tell, and frankly that's part of the problem for me. This book needs to be a bit longer, a few less puns are in order (and the book ends on a pun you can see from a mile away).
Frankly I didn't care for the ending that I'm not going to give away. I also thought that the ending felt rushed. This book felt like it was written for middle school age kids. Which is not a bad thing, but for more sophisticated readers it can be flat and boring in places, overall I think they will be disappointed in the book.
Now that being said, would I recommend this book to others? Yes.
This book met that goal to a degree, but it also surprised me in it's biting satire (sorry, pun intended).
It's an old plot. Hard boiled detective forced to work with a prissy FBI agent, somehow they come to respect and even like each other. Kane borrows a bit from the genre. There is even a serial killer straight out of "Silence of the Lambs"; and no it's not Buffalo Bill.
The detective is an anthropomorphized dog and the FBI stands for the Feline Bureau of Investigation. What I like is that Kane does something that I've never really seen before in this type of fiction. The dogs, for the most part, act like dogs. For example, there is no indoor plumbing; and since dogs don't do well on ladders, roofs often leak. A dog will throw flea powder on like you and I use deodorant.
It's a nice touch and makes the world a little bit more believable. The cats have their own issues and their world, while not as drawn out as the dogs world, is still logical.
What really surprised me about the novel however is the social commentary. This world is split between the haves (the cats) and the have not's (the dogs). We get an earful about Fox News (in this case ran by an actual fox), social engineering, how politics use "command" words into tricking us - and their is such a thing as "Neuro-linguistic Programing" - and a variety of other social ills. All designed to keep the dogs in their place.
How the powers that be do this is exposed by a botched murder and the subsequent hunt for the murder.
I won't spoil any more of the plot.
Cornelius Kane (pen name for writer Anthony O'Neill) has a lot to tell, and frankly that's part of the problem for me. This book needs to be a bit longer, a few less puns are in order (and the book ends on a pun you can see from a mile away).
Frankly I didn't care for the ending that I'm not going to give away. I also thought that the ending felt rushed. This book felt like it was written for middle school age kids. Which is not a bad thing, but for more sophisticated readers it can be flat and boring in places, overall I think they will be disappointed in the book.
Now that being said, would I recommend this book to others? Yes.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
September 28, 2018
Divertene e scorrevole, con riferimenti e rimandi a serie e personaggi presi dai thriller sia di carta che di pellicola. Una volta assodato che i protagonisti sono quelli classici da cartone animato (come Robin Hood della Disney, per intenderci) non è difficile smettere di immaginarli come animali che scimmiottano gli umani, ma come un gruppo male assortito (per via delle differenze tra le varie razze) di animali antropomorfi... con forse troppe abitudini collegate alla loro sudditanza con dal Grande Padrone, che compare solo come Entità da adorare.
Avrei voluto leggerlo in inglese, perché sono convinta che ci siano un sacco di giochi di parole tra i nomi dei luoghi, dei personaggi e delle situazioni che tradotti non rendono, ma recupererò con le prossime uscite. Banale forse l'intreccio, ma non più di tanti altri thriller del momento, ma con protagonisti ben definiti, proprio a causa della loro indole canina o felina (per non parlare di volpi, lupi e sottospecie varie).
Inutile dire che, tra la sua siamesitudine e la somiglianza con un altro Agente Speciale (altrettanto peculiare) di mia conoscenza, il mio preferito tra tutti sia Cassius Lap. Ma anche il povero Crusher, pur essendo un normalissimo cane, ha il suo perché...
Avrei voluto leggerlo in inglese, perché sono convinta che ci siano un sacco di giochi di parole tra i nomi dei luoghi, dei personaggi e delle situazioni che tradotti non rendono, ma recupererò con le prossime uscite. Banale forse l'intreccio, ma non più di tanti altri thriller del momento, ma con protagonisti ben definiti, proprio a causa della loro indole canina o felina (per non parlare di volpi, lupi e sottospecie varie).
Inutile dire che, tra la sua siamesitudine e la somiglianza con un altro Agente Speciale (altrettanto peculiare) di mia conoscenza, il mio preferito tra tutti sia Cassius Lap. Ma anche il povero Crusher, pur essendo un normalissimo cane, ha il suo perché...
October 23, 2023
This book is, on the surface, an easily read noir set with anthropomorphic characters in a fictional world that is peopled by dogs and cats. Very readable and entertaining with a fast-paced story and characters that are identifiable even as they are not human.
Looking closer, it is a scathing social commentary about the dangers of investing in a society above the communities and souls that reside in the political maps. Elitism is called out, as is racism and the use of a feeling of 'otherness' to set people at each other. When one reads this book, it urges the reader to examine their view of the world and look beneath surface, find what makes us uncomfortable, and actually confront it instead of just tucking it away for the sake of our material comforts.
If I could give this book ten stars, I would.
Looking closer, it is a scathing social commentary about the dangers of investing in a society above the communities and souls that reside in the political maps. Elitism is called out, as is racism and the use of a feeling of 'otherness' to set people at each other. When one reads this book, it urges the reader to examine their view of the world and look beneath surface, find what makes us uncomfortable, and actually confront it instead of just tucking it away for the sake of our material comforts.
If I could give this book ten stars, I would.
April 25, 2021
Detective Max “Crusher” McNash of the Dog Squad must set aside his past and distrust to work with his new partner, Cassius Lap from the Feline Bureau of Investigation to hunt down a feral killer.
A hardboiled mystery satire, featuring an anthropomorphic cast, set in a species stratified society. It’s riddled with groan inducing cat/dog puns, but entertaining.
A hardboiled mystery satire, featuring an anthropomorphic cast, set in a species stratified society. It’s riddled with groan inducing cat/dog puns, but entertaining.
March 8, 2025
A bull terrier and a siamese cat - "The Unscratchables"!
Too funny - these two ultimately team up to fight crime - foxy foxes, feral cats - no scoundrel is safe under the watchful eyes of this unlikely pair.
The book is filled with cute phrasing and corny situations - a real laugh fest!
Too funny - these two ultimately team up to fight crime - foxy foxes, feral cats - no scoundrel is safe under the watchful eyes of this unlikely pair.
The book is filled with cute phrasing and corny situations - a real laugh fest!
June 30, 2023
I liked the book, it was a little strange reading a book that a dogs and cats talked.
August 22, 2021
bello. vi piaciono i gialli ? leggetelo. amate gli animali ? leggettelo. ben scritto avvincente, fino all'ultimo ti tiene sospeso, la trasposizione nel mondo animale non toglie nulla al giallo, anzi.
February 3, 2010
This was a fun and surprisingly good murder mystery set in a world entirely populated by anthropomorphized dogs and cats. When two canine gangsters are murdered, no-nonsense bull terrier Detective Crusher McNash is paired (much to his chagrin) with a cultured Siamese from the Feline Bureau of Investigation, Cassius Lap. Together they make a sort of Oscar and Felix combo.
As you may predict, the pet puns come at you a mile a minute. With so much wordplay, it’s not surprising that many of the gags fall flat. The best jokes are those that are more subtle and aimed at readers who already have knowledge of the canine and feline worlds:
A seedy motel is called The In-Season. Crusher recalls a terrifying battle with blue-eyed foes at Seal Point. A doggie horror flick is called “The Unfamiliar.” And the city newspaper is titled The Daily Growl, a reference that should elicit instant recognition from anyone who’s shopped in the pet supply aisle any time in the past 30 years.
Interestingly, the author uses his furry heroes to make numerous points about the nature of society, as well. I laughed out loud at this passage, and it had nothing to do with Fido jokes:
Swerving around all of these I tried to map out an escape route, but all the streets branching off Conformist Way—Neurosis Alley, Depression Court, Futility Lane—were dead ends.
I like this guy.
Is it bad that the entire time I read this, I thought of what a good movie it would make? I recommend this welcome diversion to all animal lovers.
As you may predict, the pet puns come at you a mile a minute. With so much wordplay, it’s not surprising that many of the gags fall flat. The best jokes are those that are more subtle and aimed at readers who already have knowledge of the canine and feline worlds:
A seedy motel is called The In-Season. Crusher recalls a terrifying battle with blue-eyed foes at Seal Point. A doggie horror flick is called “The Unfamiliar.” And the city newspaper is titled The Daily Growl, a reference that should elicit instant recognition from anyone who’s shopped in the pet supply aisle any time in the past 30 years.
Interestingly, the author uses his furry heroes to make numerous points about the nature of society, as well. I laughed out loud at this passage, and it had nothing to do with Fido jokes:
Swerving around all of these I tried to map out an escape route, but all the streets branching off Conformist Way—Neurosis Alley, Depression Court, Futility Lane—were dead ends.
I like this guy.
Is it bad that the entire time I read this, I thought of what a good movie it would make? I recommend this welcome diversion to all animal lovers.
November 3, 2013
I found this book on the shelves in the rehab facility and it was peculiar, but intriguing.
The name Cornelius Kane is the pseudonym for a well known Australian author, but I have no idea who this might be. I went to the Cornelius Kane page on Simon and Schuster and enjoyed reading "Author Revealed" comments. For example: Q. WHAT ARE YOUR MOST OVERUSED WORDS OR PHRASES? A. Do that again and I'll kill ya. Q. WHAT DO YOU REGRET MOST? A. Last time I said that
- See more at: http://authors.simonandschuster.com/C...
Back to the book. The story involves a bull terrier detective named Crusher McNash who has to team up with a Siamese agent from the Feline Bureau of Investigation (yes, the FBI) from Kathatten named Cassius Lap to solve the brutal murders to two Rottweilers. The FBI is involved because evidence points to a feline as the murderer.
Puns abound: Brad Pitbull, Jack Russell Crowe, are mentioned in a list of celebrities, and McNash carries a Schnauzer gun.
Yes, there are obvious parallels to human behavior, and while bizarre, I found this book difficult to put down. It was written using the style and language of the hard boiled detectives like Marlowe and Dashiell Hammett's creations.
Now, if I could figure out who Cornelius Kane is...
The name Cornelius Kane is the pseudonym for a well known Australian author, but I have no idea who this might be. I went to the Cornelius Kane page on Simon and Schuster and enjoyed reading "Author Revealed" comments. For example: Q. WHAT ARE YOUR MOST OVERUSED WORDS OR PHRASES? A. Do that again and I'll kill ya. Q. WHAT DO YOU REGRET MOST? A. Last time I said that
- See more at: http://authors.simonandschuster.com/C...
Back to the book. The story involves a bull terrier detective named Crusher McNash who has to team up with a Siamese agent from the Feline Bureau of Investigation (yes, the FBI) from Kathatten named Cassius Lap to solve the brutal murders to two Rottweilers. The FBI is involved because evidence points to a feline as the murderer.
Puns abound: Brad Pitbull, Jack Russell Crowe, are mentioned in a list of celebrities, and McNash carries a Schnauzer gun.
Yes, there are obvious parallels to human behavior, and while bizarre, I found this book difficult to put down. It was written using the style and language of the hard boiled detectives like Marlowe and Dashiell Hammett's creations.
Now, if I could figure out who Cornelius Kane is...
October 14, 2011
This is one of the most unique and funny books I’ve read lately. It combines the style of a Raymond Chandler novel with the whimsy of Babe. Picture a world inhabited only by animals, where cats and dogs are the dominant species, but they go about their daily lives and jobs as humans would in our world.
The writing is brisk and sharp. I found it amazing how many items, acts, and events in our world could be transposed into feline and canine descriptions, as well as animal characters. McNash’s down-to-earth narrative style sets the stage and the pace, contrasting him with the well-to-do, upper class diction of Lap the Siamese. They are a perfect team of black and white, opposing forces, who are forced to work together to discover the mastermind behind the plot. The names of the characters fit perfectly, as well as some of them being perfect puns. I caught myself laughing aloud more than once at the opinions put into their mouths.
For something new and different and highly entertaining, try The Unscratchables. Dare I hope for a sequel?
The writing is brisk and sharp. I found it amazing how many items, acts, and events in our world could be transposed into feline and canine descriptions, as well as animal characters. McNash’s down-to-earth narrative style sets the stage and the pace, contrasting him with the well-to-do, upper class diction of Lap the Siamese. They are a perfect team of black and white, opposing forces, who are forced to work together to discover the mastermind behind the plot. The names of the characters fit perfectly, as well as some of them being perfect puns. I caught myself laughing aloud more than once at the opinions put into their mouths.
For something new and different and highly entertaining, try The Unscratchables. Dare I hope for a sequel?
July 24, 2009
This was a surprisingly good book. The author, Australian Cornelius Kane, has an impressive understanding of the noir genre. He has the ability to write a noir story with cats and dogs as the main characters, and write it as well as Dashiell Hammett or Raymond Chandler.
The Unscratchables is the story of a dog (a former POW and veteran of the Siamese war) who has to team up with a Siamese cat in order to capture a feral cat on a murderous rampage in the Kennels of Kathattan island. I don't want to give away the ending, so I won't say more than that. If you enjoy a good story filled with plot twists, you'll like The Unscratchables. If you like your books a little deeper, then you'll really enjoy the ongoing political, social and media commentary Mr. Kane weaves into the book.
I read it in less than twelve hours. It's that good.
The Unscratchables is the story of a dog (a former POW and veteran of the Siamese war) who has to team up with a Siamese cat in order to capture a feral cat on a murderous rampage in the Kennels of Kathattan island. I don't want to give away the ending, so I won't say more than that. If you enjoy a good story filled with plot twists, you'll like The Unscratchables. If you like your books a little deeper, then you'll really enjoy the ongoing political, social and media commentary Mr. Kane weaves into the book.
I read it in less than twelve hours. It's that good.
October 23, 2009
Great flop house reading. Loved it. Grab a bowl of cream and a red rubber bone.
So many good lines in this book. Two that I remember:
1-the umbrella was so small it could've been use for a pina colada
2-insanity-the diminished responsibility defense
So many great concepts in this book reflecting the likes of our human society:
"I suppose you think populations are suppressed with infantilization, Mr. McNash-is that what Dr. Riossiti told you? Nothing of the sort. They suppress themselves. With consumerism. With tribalism. With patriotism. And we in the media, far from being villains, are merely taking the edge off an insatiable hunger. Because if we didn't do it then someone truly dangerous-some dictator-surely would" He shook his head.
So many good lines in this book. Two that I remember:
1-the umbrella was so small it could've been use for a pina colada
2-insanity-the diminished responsibility defense
So many great concepts in this book reflecting the likes of our human society:
"I suppose you think populations are suppressed with infantilization, Mr. McNash-is that what Dr. Riossiti told you? Nothing of the sort. They suppress themselves. With consumerism. With tribalism. With patriotism. And we in the media, far from being villains, are merely taking the edge off an insatiable hunger. Because if we didn't do it then someone truly dangerous-some dictator-surely would" He shook his head.
February 4, 2010
When a couple of gangsters are brutally murdered and a unique killer is suspected, Detective Crusher McNash is forced to team up with a well-dressed, Jaguar-driving, FBI agent. The two must overcome their initial dislike as well as deeply held prejudices in order to work together to find the killer and unravel an awesome conspiracy that reaches from fixed boxing matches all the way to the Presidential election. Just your average hard-bitten crime story you think? Not quite! McNash is a take no prisoners bull terrier and Cassius Lap (the Feline Bureau of Investigations finest agent) is a Siamese. This fine mystery cleverly satirizes crime fiction and modern society, and is a fun, engrossing read at the same time. Hopefully the first in a series!
January 5, 2016
I will open with the one negative thing I have to say. I had trouble telling what the time frame was supposed to be. Based on Crusher’s past, it seemed like it might be post-WWII or possibly Vietnam since the main genre focus is on the 1950s detective genre. But there were references to Wizard Whelp, Jack Russell Crowe, and other more modern pop culture phenomena. It was hard to tell.
Other than that, Kane did a great job painting it like an animal’s world with language: janglers instead of phones, bobblers instead of heads, chasing tails instead of going in circles, etc. I enjoyed the puns like the street names, PAVLOV, and various character names. Kane included several different jokes that were fun to discover.
It's a light and easy read that I would definitely recommend.
Other than that, Kane did a great job painting it like an animal’s world with language: janglers instead of phones, bobblers instead of heads, chasing tails instead of going in circles, etc. I enjoyed the puns like the street names, PAVLOV, and various character names. Kane included several different jokes that were fun to discover.
It's a light and easy read that I would definitely recommend.
August 21, 2009
A detective novel set in a New York without humans, where the civilization consists of sentient dogs and cats with 1940s-era technology. (Must. Not. Make. Puns.) In true noir style, there are mobsters, drop-dead dames, and corruption in high places. But this isn't "Who Framed Roger Rabbit." The fantasy elements aren't played for laughs; they're an integral part of the story. Which isn't to say the book isn't funny in places - but what it sends up is crime movies, with homages to many of the genre's classics. Absolutely worth reading for being a "how is the author going to pull this off?" story that is more than just a gimmick.
September 1, 2013
(Humor, fiction 2009) A familiar theme - cat (Feline Bureau of Investigation) vs dog (police force detective), but must work together to achieve - set in a crime thriller. This book was a hoot! Totally enjoyed the plot development, the movie references, the social references, the ... whole book! I found myself laughing frequently as I raced through the story to find out who-dun-it after all. I don't know if it would do as a series, as part of the fun was the surprising way in which common phrases were morphed into cat-and-dog jokes, and that could get old really fast, but it was well worth the read.
August 25, 2009
I was intrigued by the premise of the book when I read a review somewhere. The cover definitely caught my eye. I liked the story for the most part, but had a hard time getting through the dog-talk, cat-talk, etc. It started distracting me from the story. I did finish it and if this is a series, I'll likely give the next one a try. Now that the relationship of Crusher and Cassius is established, they can get on with the crime solving....and butt sniffing and sandbox kicking and soy milk drinking and biscuit eatin'....
Three genre-bending beans......
Three genre-bending beans......
June 18, 2010
Un giallo animalesco simpaticissimo! Crusher fa sempre un po' la figura del beone e vicino a Lap ogni tanto passa per tonto, ma è davvero divertente leggere di due universi così diversi, come quelli degli abbaioni e dei miagolanti, riuniti in amicizia. Che poi Crusher ha bisogno di qualcuno che lo guidi e Lap, con le nozioni imparate al corso universitario di psicologia canina, sa sempre che parole usare: "Fermo!", "Qui, subito!". Uno scodinzolante può mica resistere! E Crusher arriva persino a bere insieme al suo collega un bicchiere di latte di soia. Più riappacificati di così!
November 3, 2011
3.5 stars. I picked up this book at a discount thinking I'd just get an extremely goofy, possibly unreadable animal mystery. Instead I got an extremely entertaining mystery-satire with two likeable leads and lots of nods to the mystery genre AND animals in pup--er, pop culture. Beware, though, if you aren't into puns. There are more of them than you can shake a stick at.
A very fun ride. There are some more serious themes, but I recommend taking it as a smarter-than-your-average-dog noir parody rather than as anything super serious.
A very fun ride. There are some more serious themes, but I recommend taking it as a smarter-than-your-average-dog noir parody rather than as anything super serious.
February 18, 2010
Very cute - crime novel a la noir stories of the past. Except instead of people, the stars are cats and dogs. Cats living in the high-society streets of Kathattan and dogs, considered the dumber and less worthy species, living in the The Kennels. Crusher McNash, bull terrier cop, teams with Cassius Lap, a siamese cat with the Feline Bureau of Investigation, to solve the mystery of murder, mind-control, and world domination. Fun read!
October 9, 2009
A campy play on the hard-boiled police procedural genre. In this world there are no humans, and the cats are the superior species who have kept the dogs down for centuries through a variety of subjugation tactics (mainly by stalling advances in anti-flea medicine). I liked the class struggle angle, because without it, this would have just been a cheesy spoof. Cassius Lap, the agent with the Feline Bureau of Investigation, is awesome. Lots of riffs on popular culture.
November 24, 2009
Cat & Dog Characters only -- no humans
A "noir" mystery featuring a serial killer ;-)
Exerpt:
http://www.nextreads.com/display2.asp...
Although I am in quite a reading slump, this book didn't even begin to interest me :-(. I bought this new-to-me author's book as I was tickled by the thought of a crime thriller featuring only dogs and cats as characters. For me it just fell flat.
A "noir" mystery featuring a serial killer ;-)
Exerpt:
http://www.nextreads.com/display2.asp...
Although I am in quite a reading slump, this book didn't even begin to interest me :-(. I bought this new-to-me author's book as I was tickled by the thought of a crime thriller featuring only dogs and cats as characters. For me it just fell flat.
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