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Building a Home with My Husband: A Journey Through the Renovation of Love
The new memoir from the author of Riding the Bus with My Sister describes the unexpected emotional journey resulting from her and her husband’s decision to renovate their small, historic home.
272 pages, Hardcover
First published March 24, 2009
13 people are currently reading
318 people want to read
About the author
Rachel Simon
22 books341 followersRachel Simon is the author of six books.
The Story of Beautiful Girl
The House On Teacher's Lane
Riding The Bus With My Sister
The Writer's Survival Guide
The Magic Touch
Little Nightmares Little Dreams
In 2005, Hallmark Hall of Fame adapted Riding The Bus With My Sister for a film by the same name. It starred Rosie O'Donnell as Rachel's sister Beth and Andie MacDowell as Rachel, and it was directed by Anjelica Huston.
NPR adapted the title story from Little Nightmares, Little Dreams for the program "Selected Shorts," which was also adapted for an episode of the Lifetime program "The Hidden Room." The short story "Paint," from the same book, was adapted for the stage by The Arden Theatre Company in Philadelphia, PA.
Rachel is one of the only authors to have been selected twice for the Barnes & Noble Discover New Writers Program, once in fiction and once in nonfiction. She has received a Secretary Tommy G. Thompson's Recognition Award from the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, for contributions to the field of disability. Among Rachel's other awards have been two creative writing fellowships from the Delaware Division of the Arts, three creative writing fellowships from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, and a fiction fellowship from the Ludwig Vogelstein Foundation.
Rachel Simon went to high school at Solebury School, a small, co-ed boarding school in New Hope, PA. She then attended Bryn Mawr College, graduating with a degree in Anthropology in 1981.
Rachel's jobs have included being a community relations manager at a large bookstore, and a creative writing teacher at several colleges. She now makes her living as a writer and a speaker on topics related to disability.
Rachel Simon lives in Delaware with her husband, the architect Hal Dean.
The Story of Beautiful Girl
The House On Teacher's Lane
Riding The Bus With My Sister
The Writer's Survival Guide
The Magic Touch
Little Nightmares Little Dreams
In 2005, Hallmark Hall of Fame adapted Riding The Bus With My Sister for a film by the same name. It starred Rosie O'Donnell as Rachel's sister Beth and Andie MacDowell as Rachel, and it was directed by Anjelica Huston.
NPR adapted the title story from Little Nightmares, Little Dreams for the program "Selected Shorts," which was also adapted for an episode of the Lifetime program "The Hidden Room." The short story "Paint," from the same book, was adapted for the stage by The Arden Theatre Company in Philadelphia, PA.
Rachel is one of the only authors to have been selected twice for the Barnes & Noble Discover New Writers Program, once in fiction and once in nonfiction. She has received a Secretary Tommy G. Thompson's Recognition Award from the U.S. Dept. of Health and Human Services, for contributions to the field of disability. Among Rachel's other awards have been two creative writing fellowships from the Delaware Division of the Arts, three creative writing fellowships from the Pennsylvania Council on the Arts, and a fiction fellowship from the Ludwig Vogelstein Foundation.
Rachel Simon went to high school at Solebury School, a small, co-ed boarding school in New Hope, PA. She then attended Bryn Mawr College, graduating with a degree in Anthropology in 1981.
Rachel's jobs have included being a community relations manager at a large bookstore, and a creative writing teacher at several colleges. She now makes her living as a writer and a speaker on topics related to disability.
Rachel Simon lives in Delaware with her husband, the architect Hal Dean.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 77 reviews
October 18, 2009
Seldom has an author irritated me more! I thought this would be a nice account of home renovation and instead got the most self-absorbed whiner I've come across in a long time. I just find most of it hard to believe. First clue: she claims when she met the man that would become her husband he asked "May I be so brazen as to ask for your number?" Seriously? Nobody talks like that in real life, if he did say that she should have run the other way. Another time when they are building a stone wall in the backyard she is in such pain from hauling stone that her entire body goes numb. Of course it doesn't stop her from finishing the job but I'm thinking she might be just a little too much of a drama queen. Because I'm pretty sure if my pain was causing my entire body to go numb...I just might take a break and finish up the next day. The entire book goes on and on like this, her horrific childhood is brought up again and again. I'm sure she suffered what with her parent's breakup and her distant mother but again...I don't want to burst her self absorbed bubble but plenty of people have lived through a lot worse. Sorry to be so harsh (even I'm wondering why this woman has touched such a nerve).Anyway if anyone knows a good house building/renovation story please pass it along and hold the whining.
September 29, 2009
There were parts of this book that were enjoyable and funny but it was a bit too preachy at times. I think if I knew Rachel, I'd find her annoying and exhausting. I felt as if she wanted this book to somehow be incredibly deep and meaningful instead of simply telling her story and letting the reader find the meaning for themselves and how it applied to them.
August 4, 2012
I had first read "Building a Home with My Husband: A Journey through the Renovation of Love" when it was published in hardcover under that title. It was released in paperback under the title "The House on Teacher's Lane."
Recently, I had a long drive ahead of me, and settled in to listen to the audiobook version of "Building a Home with My Husband." I had listened to Simon's "Riding the Bus with My Sister" on the drive to Philadelphia and absolutely loved it (also having read the book years earlier). Simon narrated "Riding the Bus..." and I found her voice, pacing, inflection just perfect to narrate her story. The drive flew by listening to her experiences with her sister Beth and, having an adult son with disabilities, I could relate to so much in "Riding the Bus with My Sister."
Having already read "Building a Home with My Husband", I knew what it was about and had enjoyed the story when I read it, particularly because at the time I read it I was thinking a lot about marriage and home-making and the nature of relationships between people who love each other, especially if those people are creative types.
As I listened to the audiobook version of "Building a Home with My Husband/The House on Teacher's Lane" I was again struck by Simon's honest, open-hearted style of writing...how she builds a story, weaving the very personal events of her life, but in a way that never sounds self-absorbed or egocentric. Simon tells of her personal experiences as if to say "Have you felt like this? Have you experienced this? I have too. Here's what happened and where it led...Here is what I was able to make of it."
There are several themes within this book, but first I should point out that while the book is about physically constructing a home (a substantial renovation in this case) it is also about the psychological work involved in creating the sense of Home with the person you love. Simon reveals, through glances back to her childhood, just what home and the security or insecurity of it has meant to her throughout her life. Some of her experiences are heart-wrenching and while you may not share those same experiences, the feelings and the effects on a child's and young woman's heart may be familiar to readers.
But, this is not a sad memoir at all. It is one of hope and the hard work that gives hope the impetus it needs to made dreams become reality. If you've ever built a home or undertaken major renovations (I have, more than once), then you will laugh and groan at Simon's experiences. Her descriptions of paint color and budget overruns and subcontractors are lively and wonderful. The author and her husband had to leave their home for a while as the construction on "Teacher's Lane" was so extensive. Simon writes about possessions and packing and trusting that the vision of her husband, an architect who designs with particular attention to the environment and sustainable materials, would come to fruition.
Be aware that Rachel Simon did not narrate "Building a Home with My Husband." It is narrated by Laural Merlington, who, according to the back cover, has recorded over 100 audiobooks. I preferred Simon's voice, as I'd heard it in "Riding the Bus with My Sister," but certainly Merlington is an experienced narrator and this is just my personal preference.
From the back of the audiobook: "Like most people, Rachel Simon lives in an imperfect house. The historic row home has charm, but it's small, dark, and has a gaping hole in the dining room ceiling. Unfortunately, selling is not an option, and Rachel and her husband, Hal, realize they have only one option, renovate.
"Rachel is prepared for the ups and downs that come with any major life change. But what she isn't prepared for are the ways the renovation forces her to confront memories she had long since tucked away and inspires her to repair fractured bonds with those closest to her. From Hal's first design sketch to the last stroke of paint, recollections of a difficult childhood, friendships left behind, challenges with siblings, and an improbably path to marriage come bursting out. Once the dust settles, Rachel comes to profound insights about the construction, demolition, and renovation of personal relationships."
Recently, I had a long drive ahead of me, and settled in to listen to the audiobook version of "Building a Home with My Husband." I had listened to Simon's "Riding the Bus with My Sister" on the drive to Philadelphia and absolutely loved it (also having read the book years earlier). Simon narrated "Riding the Bus..." and I found her voice, pacing, inflection just perfect to narrate her story. The drive flew by listening to her experiences with her sister Beth and, having an adult son with disabilities, I could relate to so much in "Riding the Bus with My Sister."
Having already read "Building a Home with My Husband", I knew what it was about and had enjoyed the story when I read it, particularly because at the time I read it I was thinking a lot about marriage and home-making and the nature of relationships between people who love each other, especially if those people are creative types.
As I listened to the audiobook version of "Building a Home with My Husband/The House on Teacher's Lane" I was again struck by Simon's honest, open-hearted style of writing...how she builds a story, weaving the very personal events of her life, but in a way that never sounds self-absorbed or egocentric. Simon tells of her personal experiences as if to say "Have you felt like this? Have you experienced this? I have too. Here's what happened and where it led...Here is what I was able to make of it."
There are several themes within this book, but first I should point out that while the book is about physically constructing a home (a substantial renovation in this case) it is also about the psychological work involved in creating the sense of Home with the person you love. Simon reveals, through glances back to her childhood, just what home and the security or insecurity of it has meant to her throughout her life. Some of her experiences are heart-wrenching and while you may not share those same experiences, the feelings and the effects on a child's and young woman's heart may be familiar to readers.
But, this is not a sad memoir at all. It is one of hope and the hard work that gives hope the impetus it needs to made dreams become reality. If you've ever built a home or undertaken major renovations (I have, more than once), then you will laugh and groan at Simon's experiences. Her descriptions of paint color and budget overruns and subcontractors are lively and wonderful. The author and her husband had to leave their home for a while as the construction on "Teacher's Lane" was so extensive. Simon writes about possessions and packing and trusting that the vision of her husband, an architect who designs with particular attention to the environment and sustainable materials, would come to fruition.
Be aware that Rachel Simon did not narrate "Building a Home with My Husband." It is narrated by Laural Merlington, who, according to the back cover, has recorded over 100 audiobooks. I preferred Simon's voice, as I'd heard it in "Riding the Bus with My Sister," but certainly Merlington is an experienced narrator and this is just my personal preference.
From the back of the audiobook: "Like most people, Rachel Simon lives in an imperfect house. The historic row home has charm, but it's small, dark, and has a gaping hole in the dining room ceiling. Unfortunately, selling is not an option, and Rachel and her husband, Hal, realize they have only one option, renovate.
"Rachel is prepared for the ups and downs that come with any major life change. But what she isn't prepared for are the ways the renovation forces her to confront memories she had long since tucked away and inspires her to repair fractured bonds with those closest to her. From Hal's first design sketch to the last stroke of paint, recollections of a difficult childhood, friendships left behind, challenges with siblings, and an improbably path to marriage come bursting out. Once the dust settles, Rachel comes to profound insights about the construction, demolition, and renovation of personal relationships."
December 26, 2012
I'll admit that I haven't read Riding the Bus with My Sister, so I wasn't entirely sure what to expect when I picked up this book. The idea, using a home renovation as a metaphor for building relationships, is a good one. There are many parallels that can be drawn between the two; Simon pointed out the need for understanding, allies, and good structure to name a few.
However, I never fully embraced the book. The author uses high vocabulary, appropriate for her job as a professor, but lending a formal air to a book that is clearly about deeply personal experiences. The development and change in theme is spread so far throughout the book that I found it difficult to build a connection. I always felt a distance from the character/author.
This could also be from the negative perspective the author faces again and again. She is (admittingly) always waiting for the other shoe to drop, a habit she recognizes and attempts to battle, but never quite breaks. For much of the book, she starts over at zero with each new problem, not progressing from previous experience. Perhaps reading the prior book would help me see character development, but should I even be looking for it? Using this narrative introspection, she takes inventory for herself more than for us to learn from or enjoy.
Because I didn't really enjoy it. It made me wonder if I'm as easily off balance, distraught, or pessimistic. Her fears about the house and memories of a troublesome childhood and previous relationships are understandable. Yet the house building metaphor weakens as progress takes so long to occur. For each stage in the renovation, Simon revisits three or four different time periods in her own life, cramming memory after memory into a single crawl space. Ultimately I learned about building a house, but not a lot about building a life.
However, I never fully embraced the book. The author uses high vocabulary, appropriate for her job as a professor, but lending a formal air to a book that is clearly about deeply personal experiences. The development and change in theme is spread so far throughout the book that I found it difficult to build a connection. I always felt a distance from the character/author.
This could also be from the negative perspective the author faces again and again. She is (admittingly) always waiting for the other shoe to drop, a habit she recognizes and attempts to battle, but never quite breaks. For much of the book, she starts over at zero with each new problem, not progressing from previous experience. Perhaps reading the prior book would help me see character development, but should I even be looking for it? Using this narrative introspection, she takes inventory for herself more than for us to learn from or enjoy.
Because I didn't really enjoy it. It made me wonder if I'm as easily off balance, distraught, or pessimistic. Her fears about the house and memories of a troublesome childhood and previous relationships are understandable. Yet the house building metaphor weakens as progress takes so long to occur. For each stage in the renovation, Simon revisits three or four different time periods in her own life, cramming memory after memory into a single crawl space. Ultimately I learned about building a house, but not a lot about building a life.
June 8, 2011
Before I tell you about the book, throw on your shoes and RUN not walk to your local book store and buy a copy of this fabulous book. Or, click on over to Amazon and buy a copy of The House on Teacher's Lane. Go ahead and buy a digital copy while you are at it. I'll wait.
Are you back? Good. Now I can tell you all about why you need to read this book NOW. The House on Teacher's Lane tells the story of the adventures and misadventures Rachel Simon and her husband go through while remodeling their house. While that alone would make it an entertaining tale, what makes this book truly amazing is Ms. Simon's masterful storytelling abilities and her knack for pulling you in so you feel what she's feeling. On top of that, Ms. Simon makes some truly profound observations about life, love, and friendship. I truly treasure my books and, while they always show wear and tear from being read and reread, I can rarely bring myself to mark in a book. Ms. Simon made comments so profound and so relevant that I found myself marking passages with a highlighter. For example, she says that "Family was the very house in which my thoughts had come into being, and they remained around and inside me all the time...But friends? In the house of me, my friends were the rooms themselves, each a private haven where I could be a different version of myself, as could they, each decorated by our unique camaraderie." I truly love that description of family and friendship. For me, it captures the essence of what family and friends are to me. And later, when Ms. Simon is musing about what brings two like souls together, "what gets us to recognize and speak to others who rhyme with us", she concludes that while she may never understand that, the one thing she can do is "Just keep paying attention. Look around. See all that you don't let yourself see." I think that is incredibly important advice for all of us. What I truly adore about this book is all these brilliant observations seem to just flow as part of the story. Not once does it seem like Ms. Simon is being preachy.
Guys, I could go on and on about this book but I don't want to tell you all the secrets about it. I want you to have the immense pleasure of discovering this book yourself. I do have one last teaser for you. Like any excellent story, there is a completely unforeseen twist near the end. Now, go pick up that copy of the book your rushed out to buy earlier and get reading.
Are you back? Good. Now I can tell you all about why you need to read this book NOW. The House on Teacher's Lane tells the story of the adventures and misadventures Rachel Simon and her husband go through while remodeling their house. While that alone would make it an entertaining tale, what makes this book truly amazing is Ms. Simon's masterful storytelling abilities and her knack for pulling you in so you feel what she's feeling. On top of that, Ms. Simon makes some truly profound observations about life, love, and friendship. I truly treasure my books and, while they always show wear and tear from being read and reread, I can rarely bring myself to mark in a book. Ms. Simon made comments so profound and so relevant that I found myself marking passages with a highlighter. For example, she says that "Family was the very house in which my thoughts had come into being, and they remained around and inside me all the time...But friends? In the house of me, my friends were the rooms themselves, each a private haven where I could be a different version of myself, as could they, each decorated by our unique camaraderie." I truly love that description of family and friendship. For me, it captures the essence of what family and friends are to me. And later, when Ms. Simon is musing about what brings two like souls together, "what gets us to recognize and speak to others who rhyme with us", she concludes that while she may never understand that, the one thing she can do is "Just keep paying attention. Look around. See all that you don't let yourself see." I think that is incredibly important advice for all of us. What I truly adore about this book is all these brilliant observations seem to just flow as part of the story. Not once does it seem like Ms. Simon is being preachy.
Guys, I could go on and on about this book but I don't want to tell you all the secrets about it. I want you to have the immense pleasure of discovering this book yourself. I do have one last teaser for you. Like any excellent story, there is a completely unforeseen twist near the end. Now, go pick up that copy of the book your rushed out to buy earlier and get reading.
August 28, 2010
I requested this from the library after hearing part of a review on NPR about it and in the first chapter I thought I was going to have difficulty liking this woman. She does a lot of things that I have little patience for--looking for a Life Purpose and taking nineteen years (including a six-year break) to figure out that she had a great guy and there's no such thing as True Love, whining about her First World Problems (oh noes, they'll have to cut their renovation plans back to only $130,000!). But the prose was very readable--except for the jarring tense shifts--and as I kept turning the pages and learned more of her story, I found myself having more compassion for Rachel Simon.
The framing device for this memoir is the renovation of their home in Wilmington, Delaware. But the real story is the personal history that Simon rehashes and the realizations that she allows to come to her through the process. She deals with that pesky Life Purpose question. She struggles with worry for her aging parents, with her own decision not to have children, with her fraught relationships with her sibling, with her ideas about commitment, and many more. She is remarkably honest about her own flaws and personal demons and brings the reader with her to new levels of understanding, even as she relates the setbacks and frustrations of the building project.
There are so many quotable passages and important life lessons that she relates along the way. But I think the one that I will really take with me is her husband's response to the question "Why me?!" which is "I think there's only one answer and that's 'Why not me?' None of us is so special that we can avoid suffering."
I think I may have to buy several copies of this book and give them to people in my life that I think would find other passages to be their favorites, who would enjoy this story of a woman rebuilding her home and her idea of herself.
The framing device for this memoir is the renovation of their home in Wilmington, Delaware. But the real story is the personal history that Simon rehashes and the realizations that she allows to come to her through the process. She deals with that pesky Life Purpose question. She struggles with worry for her aging parents, with her own decision not to have children, with her fraught relationships with her sibling, with her ideas about commitment, and many more. She is remarkably honest about her own flaws and personal demons and brings the reader with her to new levels of understanding, even as she relates the setbacks and frustrations of the building project.
There are so many quotable passages and important life lessons that she relates along the way. But I think the one that I will really take with me is her husband's response to the question "Why me?!" which is "I think there's only one answer and that's 'Why not me?' None of us is so special that we can avoid suffering."
I think I may have to buy several copies of this book and give them to people in my life that I think would find other passages to be their favorites, who would enjoy this story of a woman rebuilding her home and her idea of herself.
June 19, 2011
Rachel Simon's tender memoir, Building a Home with My Husband, is not something you should rush through, or read in small doses. It's one of those books where you want to set aside a good block of time, curl up in your favorite chair, and savor a leisurely read.
Any couple that has survived a home renovation can attest to the utter chaos that ensues during that process, putting the best of relationships to the test. As Rachel and her husband forge through the process of blueprints and paint chips and deal with finances and insecurity, long-buried feelings bubble to the surface, as Rachel begins a journey of self-discovery and renewal.
The problem with home renovation is that time will not stand still while we choose doorknobs and install flooring. Rachel's world beyond the doors of this home spins on. Work pressures, siblings, parents, and friendships must be tended to and nurtured. Things go wrong and plans go awry in home renovation and in life. How we choose to deal with those circumstances determines the final outcome.
It's not really about the house. Building a Home with My Husband is about trust and compassion. It's about love and acceptance. It's about attempting to understand the complexities of the human spirit. It is about, as the title suggests, building a home.
Beautifully written!
Now it looks like I'm going to have to pick up a copy of Rachel's first memoir, Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey.
Any couple that has survived a home renovation can attest to the utter chaos that ensues during that process, putting the best of relationships to the test. As Rachel and her husband forge through the process of blueprints and paint chips and deal with finances and insecurity, long-buried feelings bubble to the surface, as Rachel begins a journey of self-discovery and renewal.
The problem with home renovation is that time will not stand still while we choose doorknobs and install flooring. Rachel's world beyond the doors of this home spins on. Work pressures, siblings, parents, and friendships must be tended to and nurtured. Things go wrong and plans go awry in home renovation and in life. How we choose to deal with those circumstances determines the final outcome.
It's not really about the house. Building a Home with My Husband is about trust and compassion. It's about love and acceptance. It's about attempting to understand the complexities of the human spirit. It is about, as the title suggests, building a home.
Beautifully written!
Now it looks like I'm going to have to pick up a copy of Rachel's first memoir, Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey.
July 5, 2009
It's a wonder that Rachel and her husband Hal are together at all--they are very different people. Rachel is a writer and an advocate for people with disabilities with an admitted problem with physical things like the third dimension. Hal is an architect who designs the physical world and a musician who creates his own world. These two dated/lived together for 13 years, broke up for 6 years, and then, finally, got married. Then their house got burglarized, prompting at first the need to move, but that was just not affordable in the current economy. So they decided on a green renovation. This of course results in all the expected trauma and drama--though their's goes to an extreme not experienced by many (I don't want to spoil it for you). But the interesting thing about this book is that it's not only the house that gets renovated--it's Rachel and Hal and who they are together that goes through the most amazing overhaul. This book is full of insights and philosophical ponderings about the relationships of people to each other, their geographic place, their material things, their memories and much more. It certainly has it's funny moments, but don't be fooled by them--this is a book with great depth.
June 18, 2009
As the second book of Rachel Simon's I've read, I can say I'm now a fan. Her style and ability to paint word pictures pulls me right into the room - or renovation - with her. After reading her tales of the journey to a "new" old house and her insights into her life and those around her, I would hire her husband as my architect and his general contractor without seeing a single photo. Her descriptions has me bundling up with them in the winter and enjoying the sunlight dancing in the rooms.
Having read, "Riding the Bus with My Sister" allowed me to feel that I somewhat know her story. I felt a little more like an insider without needing the same recaps others may need. She references, "Riding the Bus..." throughout the book, but not enough to drag it out for those of us who read it, but enough to catch up a new reader so they didn't feel in the dark.
As the book drew to a close and the renovations were done - inside and out - I found myself a bit sad that it was over. I wanted to continue reading to see how some of the other sub stories ended.
This is a great read for trips, light days, before bed - any time. Don't miss this beautiful love story dusted with drywall.
Having read, "Riding the Bus with My Sister" allowed me to feel that I somewhat know her story. I felt a little more like an insider without needing the same recaps others may need. She references, "Riding the Bus..." throughout the book, but not enough to drag it out for those of us who read it, but enough to catch up a new reader so they didn't feel in the dark.
As the book drew to a close and the renovations were done - inside and out - I found myself a bit sad that it was over. I wanted to continue reading to see how some of the other sub stories ended.
This is a great read for trips, light days, before bed - any time. Don't miss this beautiful love story dusted with drywall.
July 8, 2009
Building A Home With My Husband is a well written memoir. It is a nice blend of HGTV and Lifetime television. Although, I would have loved to see Before & After pictures. How cruel is it to write a book about home renovation and not include Before & After pictures?
If you can forgive that minor oversight, you will find Building A Home With My Husband to be one woman's insightful look at unconditional love, and how hard it is to give and receive it.
http://charlotteswebofbooks.blogspot....
If you can forgive that minor oversight, you will find Building A Home With My Husband to be one woman's insightful look at unconditional love, and how hard it is to give and receive it.
http://charlotteswebofbooks.blogspot....
May 3, 2011
This was a tough one to get through due to Simon’s whine fest extraordinaire. Yes, home renovations can–and often are—stressful, and hers was no different. But her over-analysis of her past with the various stages of her home reno really stretched beyond a reasonable point for me. Also, unlike many who go through home construction, Simon’s extremely unfunny husband--maybe he's just a nerd, but I could have done without her relating his jokes throughout--is an architect and is hands-on throughout the entire process. Her neurotic nature was just too much for me.
Read
April 19, 2020Having also renovated a house with my husband, the title caught my eye first. But this book is about so much more than how a large scale home renovation changes you and your marriage forever. If you are continually fascinated by how your relationships work and how to improve them, then this one's for you. I had many "aha" moments. Here's one: "There is a kind of relationship that transcends all others...rarely discussed except in terms of warfare, yet it can be found anywhere and get us through anything. Allies. I want to be an ally." So do I.
January 26, 2011
This was a heartfelt book, but I got tired of it and did not finish. It could have been better edited. The remodel and the couple's relationship was interesting to me, but the prose was not so much. I'm always interested to know what someone went through with a home renovation, and if you are, check this out anyway.
July 7, 2009
I love memoirs and I had high hopes for this one. I figured if anyone could relate to the subject-it would be me. Truthfully, the writing didn't pull me in and I frankly stopped caring about the home. I had to force myself to finish it.
July 19, 2013
I expected a nice story of a couple doing a home renovation together. Instead I got a whiny tome about Buddhism and the author's family while contractors do all the work and the couple chooses ugly paint colors and get into fights. Not super impressed.
March 24, 2012
my favorite of all of Rachel's books.
May 1, 2015
One of the best books read this year. Like walking a labyrinth the author goes through a transformative experience. Her sharing it with the reader brings us with her.
January 24, 2018
At times wise, at times irritating, Rachel Simon and her architect husband set out to renovate their house in Wilmington, Delaware. The house belonged to her husband before they married and needed updating and renovating to make the space usable for them. Rachel thought they needed to sell, but after looking at the market, they decided to make use of her husband's profession and building contacts to renovate.
Rachel had a bad childhood and had many issues with her mother who had abandoned Rachel and her brother and sisters. So Rachel approached love and life and building a home in a completely different way than most. She occupied a space but apparently made no attempt to make it her own.
Through the building process, she was able to learn to look at love, making a home, and accepting family in a completely different way. Instead of the idealized way she thought love should feel like, she realized that her husband's solid calmness was a form of love for her.
There were many times when I had to shake my head such as the time when she decided to "enter in" to her husband's building profession and followed the contractor around for a while, asking questions. She never seemed to realize that in her zest to know her husband better, she might have overstepped her boundaries with the contractor's work. Dan had to be a very patient man indeed. Rachel found strength she didn't know she had when misfortune hit the house when it was near completion and she actually pitched in to help when they were under a deadline to finish for the Certificate of Occupancy. As the house grew, so did she.
So, lurching, starting, stopping, Rachel and Hal completed this project and found themselves in a home, and no longer a house. Being an HGTV fan, I wish she had included some before and after pictures. I gave this 3 stars because it was a good book, but found Rachel too introspective. Available at the Duncan Public Library.
Rachel had a bad childhood and had many issues with her mother who had abandoned Rachel and her brother and sisters. So Rachel approached love and life and building a home in a completely different way than most. She occupied a space but apparently made no attempt to make it her own.
Through the building process, she was able to learn to look at love, making a home, and accepting family in a completely different way. Instead of the idealized way she thought love should feel like, she realized that her husband's solid calmness was a form of love for her.
There were many times when I had to shake my head such as the time when she decided to "enter in" to her husband's building profession and followed the contractor around for a while, asking questions. She never seemed to realize that in her zest to know her husband better, she might have overstepped her boundaries with the contractor's work. Dan had to be a very patient man indeed. Rachel found strength she didn't know she had when misfortune hit the house when it was near completion and she actually pitched in to help when they were under a deadline to finish for the Certificate of Occupancy. As the house grew, so did she.
So, lurching, starting, stopping, Rachel and Hal completed this project and found themselves in a home, and no longer a house. Being an HGTV fan, I wish she had included some before and after pictures. I gave this 3 stars because it was a good book, but found Rachel too introspective. Available at the Duncan Public Library.
October 10, 2018
This book is mawkish, tedious, and irritating. I only stayed for the nuggets that actually pertain to the renovation. The interwoven segments about her childhood and family life were a slog I resorted to skimming through about halfway through the book. A writer this self-absorbed needs an exacting editor to kill her darlings, because frankly most of this book holds no interest except to the writer herself and would serve better as an exercise in unshared journaling (a point that is particularly proven in one of the closing chapters when she abruptly changes the narrative form to a rapid fire journal entry style, to no great effect). I groaned audibly many times throughout this eye-rolling book-just ask my husband who had to endure my sighs and “ughs”. The only words truly worth reading here come from her long-suffering, ever-patient and dreamily perfect husband, Hal, whom she doesn’t understand and whose devotion seems undeserved. I wish he had written the book instead.
August 12, 2017
I really enjoyed all of the insights the author discovered during their renovation. One quote I wanted to note on p. 45 "In the house of me, my friends were the rooms themselves, each a private haven where I could be a different version of myself, as could they, each decorated by our unique camaraderie. That was what friends were - two people who so delight in each other's company, they make their own sanctuary from everyone else."
November 4, 2024
The author overthinks a lot about life, love, the why and the how of things, and that transformed into some long drawn out stories about her life. Overall the book was o.k. Stories about her family were good but when she had to follow her contractor and delve into his life she seemed overly and unnecessarily intrusive on people who were working on the house
May 12, 2017
I would have given this 3.5 stars if I could have. Lots of people have written so much about this book, I'm going to keep this short and sweet. I liked it. Thank you author for writing this book.
April 30, 2019
Great memoir detailing a major home renovation. Enjoyed this novel so much that I wrote to Rachel Simon. She graciously responded promptly.
July 12, 2019
not my favourite book - didn't enjoy all the dialogue - I was hoping for more.
August 26, 2019
Too many books, not enough time. Could not get past about page 40. Abandoned.
September 6, 2010
The House On Teacher’s Lane: A Memoir of Home, Healing, and Love’s Hardest Questions by Rachel Simon is not a story of disability per se. This new release by the author of Riding the Bus with My Sister: A True Life Journey looks more at the handicaps of our souls.
Set in the New England home that came with her marriage to her long-time sweetheart, Hal, Simon shares the travails
of a crisis that leads her and her husband to commit to an extremely involved renovation. While the construction stories are remarkable on numerous levels, from the bidding process to landscaping and actual completion, the volume contains far more than the reader might anticipate. Yes, you may find yourself laughing, gasping or shaking your head at what Simon and her husband endure, but there’s so much more.
A deeply personal story, Simon is incredibly inspiring by transparently sharing the inhibitions of her life through faulty thinking, injured emotions or lack of perspective. With each phase of the remodeling, a coinciding psychological reconstruction occurs. Rudimentary processes like the “Design Phase”, “Packing” and “Moving Day” all become more rich as examinations of relationships with friend, family and self enter in. Deep honesty prevails in situations like deciding to close the door on child-bearing and revisiting the hurts of a childhood abandonment. And the entire nexus of the book as “Repair” parallels with our human need for allies. Simon does also weave relationship issues with her disabled sister into much of the text.
Readers will find themselves pleasantly surprised by where this tale takes them. Looking into ones own closely held belief system and values is a natural result of Simon’s poignant sharing. The book is a journey that will not leave readers where it finds them.
Of special note is the successful way the author addresses the inevitable emotional wrestling involved in marriage. A fresh vision of what might be a reasonable expectation between partners leaves those perusing these pages with hope.
From the things that define us as a couple to what we’re willing to settle for in a home, the penetrating narrative of The House on Teacher’s Lane makes this a book that is worthy of your time. You will be a better person for having read it!
Set in the New England home that came with her marriage to her long-time sweetheart, Hal, Simon shares the travails
of a crisis that leads her and her husband to commit to an extremely involved renovation. While the construction stories are remarkable on numerous levels, from the bidding process to landscaping and actual completion, the volume contains far more than the reader might anticipate. Yes, you may find yourself laughing, gasping or shaking your head at what Simon and her husband endure, but there’s so much more.
A deeply personal story, Simon is incredibly inspiring by transparently sharing the inhibitions of her life through faulty thinking, injured emotions or lack of perspective. With each phase of the remodeling, a coinciding psychological reconstruction occurs. Rudimentary processes like the “Design Phase”, “Packing” and “Moving Day” all become more rich as examinations of relationships with friend, family and self enter in. Deep honesty prevails in situations like deciding to close the door on child-bearing and revisiting the hurts of a childhood abandonment. And the entire nexus of the book as “Repair” parallels with our human need for allies. Simon does also weave relationship issues with her disabled sister into much of the text.
Readers will find themselves pleasantly surprised by where this tale takes them. Looking into ones own closely held belief system and values is a natural result of Simon’s poignant sharing. The book is a journey that will not leave readers where it finds them.
Of special note is the successful way the author addresses the inevitable emotional wrestling involved in marriage. A fresh vision of what might be a reasonable expectation between partners leaves those perusing these pages with hope.
From the things that define us as a couple to what we’re willing to settle for in a home, the penetrating narrative of The House on Teacher’s Lane makes this a book that is worthy of your time. You will be a better person for having read it!
October 11, 2009
i admit, i am getting mighty sick of writing these reviews. so, in sum, this book follows the journey of a couple's adventure renovating their home using sustainable materials & environmentally-conscious design (the dude half of the couple is an architect who specializes in sustainable design, & he came up with the renovations, although the wife signed off on all of them & they were implemented by a contractor). the book follows along throughout the entire renovation process & the memories & life lessons gleaned from it all by the wife in the situation, who is a writer. it gets very, very self-help-y at times. like so much so that i flipped to the library of congress info at the front of the book to see if i'd accidentally picked up a cleverly disguised self-help book by mistake (really). it was a decent book & everything, but wow. rachel simon does a LOT of navel-gazing for someone who didn't know better than to pick a 1am fight with her husband over a newel post paint color. & while i can relate to having a mother who is unlikely to be winning any child-rearing contests any time soon, i can't really get on bored with all the forgiveness & emotional investment shit. possibly my mom would be secretly pleased if i tracked her down in whatever homeless shelter she is bunking at in new orleans right now & decided to be involved in her life & listen to her pine over her 27-year-old iraqui boyfriend until the cows come home, but i'm not going to do it & i doubt getting older & renovating my house will change my mind on that front. but i'll be sure to write a book about it if i am wrong!
January 17, 2014
The first book read for 2014.
A thoughtful, sincere, lovely memoir focused on approximately 2 years in the author's life.
If you think this is a story about living through a renovation you would be wrong. The renovation simply provides the frame for the memoir.
Our ordinary lives and experiences create endless opportunities for introspection, growth and change.
Simon, who had a childhood disrupted by her parents' choices, shares her journey of reattachment, forgiveness and love. As an adult, she comes to the realization that her mother, who in essence abandoned her children, did so out of her own human weakness, rather than from malice. Simon's willingness and ability to truly see her mother lovingly and to forgive her mother for hurting her and her siblings is one of the most beautiful examples of love and forgiveness I have ever encountered.
Her thoughts on what marital love really is, less about lust and passion and more about caring and companionship is thought provoking. A take away thought from this story is the idea that each of us can be an ally for others as others are allies for us. A new way of looking at love and caring.
I highly recommend this book.
A thoughtful, sincere, lovely memoir focused on approximately 2 years in the author's life.
If you think this is a story about living through a renovation you would be wrong. The renovation simply provides the frame for the memoir.
Our ordinary lives and experiences create endless opportunities for introspection, growth and change.
Simon, who had a childhood disrupted by her parents' choices, shares her journey of reattachment, forgiveness and love. As an adult, she comes to the realization that her mother, who in essence abandoned her children, did so out of her own human weakness, rather than from malice. Simon's willingness and ability to truly see her mother lovingly and to forgive her mother for hurting her and her siblings is one of the most beautiful examples of love and forgiveness I have ever encountered.
Her thoughts on what marital love really is, less about lust and passion and more about caring and companionship is thought provoking. A take away thought from this story is the idea that each of us can be an ally for others as others are allies for us. A new way of looking at love and caring.
I highly recommend this book.
August 13, 2011
I initially was a bit skeptical about this book, but I thought the writing was truly sophisticated and I was intrigued what all this building talk was leading to. Come to find out the literal renovation, although interesting, was not what kept me reading - it was the metaphor of said renovation. The writer's exploration of her own life decisions in the midst of picking cabinets and paints - deciding against having children, her relationship with her mother, her interpretation of feelings within her own signicant other relationship, her work pitfalls - plays a part in making her house a home. We have all been there - whether it's moving, renovating, or simply painting a room, but she takes a fresh approach to what this all really means on another level. Nicely done. It makes me want to redo my house!
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