If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules: 10 Rules for Finding Love and Creating Long-Lasting, Authentic Relationships

by Cherie Carter-Scott

Do you wish you knew the rules for the game of love?

In her #1 New York Times bestseller If Life Is a Game, These Are the Rules , Chérie Carter-Scott gave us ten rules for conquering life's challenges and managing its unpredictable ups and downs. Now, in If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules , she presents ten simple rules to help us find true love and create long-lasting, authentic relationships.

After twenty-five years of conducting workshops and seminars, Chérie has discovered that the most important--and often the most difficult--part of the human experience is partnership. Everyone is either looking for love or trying to find a way to sustain and feed the love that they already have. Chérie's ten rules are universal truths that we inherently know but often lose sight of in the confusing game of romance--rules as simple as "You Must Love Yourself First," "Communication Is Essential," and "You Must Nurture the Relationship for It to Thrive." Once understood and embraced, her rules help us learn more about our true selves and our needs--and make us better able to meet the needs of others.

As the ten rules show, building and sustaining authentic love is a delicate process that requires negotiation and communication, and while love is often challenged by change, it provides a variety of opportunities for us to grow as individuals. In her inimitably warm and inviting style, Chérie shares her own insights into love's  journey, from building intimacy and taking the risk of commitment to rekindling the faded flame by bringing back the "sizzle factor." Her inspirational stories, coupled with practical exercises--such as creating a criteria list for a potential mate or making an outline for a formal relationship "check-in"--will bring out the authentic lover in each of us. Fresh and inspiring, If Love Is a Game, These Are the Rules is a perfect guide to living a real-life "happily ever after".

Genres: Relationships, Self Help, Nonfiction, Love, Psychology

272 pages, Hardcover

First published October 12, 1999

Reviews

[hanan al-herbish al-herbish · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب قيم ومفيد

فحواه اسس وقواعد بناء علاقة ثنائية مكتملة

من الضروري فعلاً أن يكون تحفة تزدان بها اي مكتبة عامرة ...

تعلمت منه ان احب ذاتي ...

ان احترم رغباتي , وصفاتي,ان انصت الي الصوت

النابع من اعماقي...

تعلمت ان الحب ينبع من حب الذات أولاً...

و هو السبيل الوحيد لعلاقة سليمة ذات اساس قوي ومتين..

تعلمت كيف يكون الآخرين مرآة تعكس علينا خبراتهم ومهارتهم

وميولهم ..

تعلمت ان الحياة بمن فيها مدرسة...

الكتاب بكل بساطةتحفة غنية ..

والقوانين كلها حكمة...

اتمنى من الجميع ان يقرأه

في حال اتخذ قرار بناء علاقة..

جاو مقدم علي مرحلة زوا

[Sarah Al Hajri · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب رائع وهادف ، أكثر شئ أعجبني الترتيب المواضيعي للكتاب ، فالفصل الأول والأخير من الكتاب كلها تتحدث عن حب الذات وضرورة الإيمان بالنفس ، فإن آمنت بذاتك ووثقت بها ، حينها ستكون قادرا على التفاعل مع الآخرين بشكل صحيح ، ومن ثم القدرة على إيجاد الشريك المناسب لك ، ثم يتسلسل الكتاب في موضوعاته إلى كيفية المحافظة على علاقة الحب فور نشؤها وأثناء تطورها وحتى بعد مرور سنوات عدة على الإرتباط ، ويتناول الأسس التي يجب أن تبنى عليها هذه العلاقة، يمكن قراءة الكتاب من البداية حتى النهاية أو التعاطي معه كمرجع بحسب الموضوع من حين لآخر.

[خديجة أحمد (أم سندس) · Rating 3 out of 5]

كان بالإمكان اختصار الكثير ولكنه يظل كتابا مليئا بالأفكار والقوانين الصحيحة 💌

[Tamara Minawi · Rating 4 out of 5]

شخصياً ..
استمتعتُ حقاً بالابحار مع هذا الكتاب ..
لانه بحق مرشدٌ جيد للعلاقات الاكثر روحانية وعاطفية ..


" لا يتاح لنا مصادفة الحب كثيراً , وهذا الكتاب
يقدم لنا الارشادات التي نحتاج اليها في تكوين روابط صادقة وحقيقية من شأنها
ان تدوم , ويمكن للعلاقات بأنواعها ان تستفيد من تلك الادوات القيمة

ان يتفهم الازواج
بعضهم البعض وان يكون بقدرتهم التعبير عن حبهم بصدق .
انه مع الادوار المتغيرة ومعدلات الطلاق المرتفعة يحتاج الرجال والنساء اليوم
الى مزيد من المساعدة عما قبل حتى يتمكنوا من العثور على الحب في حياتهم
والاحتفاظ به . اننا في افضل الاحوال نتعلم من العلاقات الموجودة حولنا , والعديد
منها لا يصل الى المستوى النموذجي الذي يستحق الاتباع , نحن نرتكب اخطاء
ثم نبدأ الكرّة من جديد ,ونتساءل دائماً :ماذا احتاج عمله لبناء علاقة غنية ومشبعة؟"

قد يبدو الحب جذابا أو مثير بل قد يبدو مغو أحيانا وربما يبدو في أحيان أخرى غير واضح ,او مربكا ومثيرا للقلق.
لماذا يبدو الحب سهلا جدا للبعض وصعبا جدا على البعض الأخر؟
كيف يمكن لشخصين متوافقين أن يعثرا على بعضهما البعض ؟
كيف لنا ان ندرك الحقيقه في هذا العالم المحير القاسي والمتغير ؟؟
كيف لنا أن نشعر بأن الحب الحب الذي نعيش ونخوض فيه حب طاهر لايملك زيف أوخداع ؟
المنتشر والواضح أن للحياة قوانين ,للسعاده قوانين ,للتعامل قوانين لكل عمل في هذه الحياة قوانين ,فهل لجعل الحب لعبة أيضا قوانين؟؟؟

" إذا كان الحب لعبة , فهذه هي قوانينه " كتابٌ تم تأليفه من أجلك , فهو يقدّم
عشرة قوانين للعلاقة الصحيحة والمبادئ التي تعارف العالم عليها والتي تحكم
العلاقات العاطفية , ويمكن ان تستخدم هذا الكتاب كدليل لك في رحلتك مع الحب ,
كما يمكنك ان تستخدمه في مراحل حياتك .ارجع اليه عندما يكون لديك اسئله او
عندما تكون مرتبكاً او حائراً , او عندما تساورك الشكوك , او عندما تخشى
ان تكون قد اتخذت الخيار الخاطئ .

قسّـمت المؤلفة الكتاب الى عشرة قوانين , وهي :


القانون الاول :
" يجب ان تحب ذاتك في المقام الاول "


القانون الثاني :
" ان يكون لك شريك هو خيارك "

القانون الثالث :
" الحب عملية تتكون من خطوات "

القانون الرابع :
" تبادل العلاقات سيُنمّي الشخصية "

القانون الخامس :
" التواصل يُعدُ امراً جوهرياً "

القانون السادس :
" التفاوض امر مطلوب "

القانون السابع :
" علاقتك العاطفية ستكون عُرضةً لتحدي التغيير "

القانون الثامن :
" عليك ان تُغذي العلاقة لتزدهر "

القانون التاسع :
" التجديد هو سر طول العمر "

القانون العاشر :
" سوف تنسى كل ذلك لحظة ان تقع في الحب "

[Tarek El Tabey · Rating 5 out of 5]

First perception would be: Rules for Love?? Impossible.. the idea will be stupid. However when starting the book it mentions nothing about How To Love, because just like the Oracle in "The Matrix" said, no body can tell you how to love except you, not even Lil' Wayne.
Nevertheless, the book is a well-built to the point manual for how to find peace with yourself (the one who will experience the love) then the most important part of the book: How to RELATE.. Love is easy, it's a feeling, that you feel, or Not.
But relating with your loved one and creating life-lasting authentic relationship with him/her is what eventually matters, and Dr. Cherie did her best showing us the way how to do just that.
Highly recommended for Lovers, Wanna-be Lovers, or life wanderers who are learning about life and love.

[April · Rating 5 out of 5]

I appreciate very much all these If ___ is a Game, These Are the Rules books. I love the reminders in this one. They resonate and just make for a healthy, conscious, intentional, authentic relationship experience. Especially Rule #1!

“Authentic love is choosing your partner exactly as he is; it is putting your energy behind your choice and causing the relationship to be magical, rather than searching for reasons why it can’t work. Love is supporting your partner in her choices, urging her to fulfill her heart’s desires and go for all of her dreams.
Authentic love is honoring your partner’s truth and wanting the very best for him. It is not controlling or possessing but rather respecting and trusting his unique path in life. Love is the courage to tell the truth especially when you believe it is unspeakable.
Authentic love means knowing your boundaries and respecting those of your partner; it means reaching out when you don’t want to, communicating rather than assuming, and asking questions rather than jumping to conclusions. Authentic love means working things out rather than fighting, fighting rather than leaving, and staying through the misunderstandings, hurt feelings, and disappointments, knowing that through commitment all can be healed. It means staying when you want to give up, and honoring your commitment to work things out with the one you have chosen.” pg. xvi-xvii

“The place within that generates self-love is the exact same place that attracts authentic love from others. If that source is clouded, your ability to attract a relationship that glistens with the magical sparkle of love is eclipsed. In order to bring light to that inner source, you will need first to learn how to give to yourself what you are seeking from another. Love creates more love, and when your own inner love light shines, you open yourself to experience the beautiful wonder of a deep and powerful connection with another being.” pg. 3

“Authentic love is attracted by those who desire it and is repelled by those who need it. Wanting connotes sufficiency and desire; needing connotes insufficiency and dependency. I need creates a vacuum effect that forces you to clutch, grab, cling, and consume; I want creates an openness that enables you to explore, consider, and shape the relationship you desire. It is only when you operate from the basis of being a whole person that you can find love based on want and not on need.” pg. 6

“Start with yourself. You have today. You have yourself. You have what it takes to love yourself. Start showing yourself and others how you should be treated, and soon you will understand the meaning of true, unconditional, and authentic love. From there, the wonderful experience of loving and being loved by another will be like a miraculous gift.” pg. 18

“It matters not what tools you use to build your sense of self-worth. What matters is that you put forth the time and energy to learn to love the one person who will absolutely be with you for the rest of your life—yourself.” pg. 18

“In the love arena, partnerships occur when two people come together to create a new reality. As both people move toward each other and connect in the physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual realms, they begin to move from separate ‘I’ realities into a combined ‘we’ reality, in which both ‘I’s’ contribute to the greater ‘we.’ Neither ‘I’ is obliterated; both are simply augmented and enhanced by the chemical fusion with the other. Becoming a ‘we’ reality means that you form a team whose intent is to travel through life together as a unified force.” pg. 21

“Making the conscious choice to partner greatly increases your chances of finding a true and authentic union. When you choose from that inner-centered place within you that dictates what you know to be right for you, you alert the universe that you are ready for an authentic and meaningful partnership and you are led toward situations that are aligned with your intentions.” pg. 30-31

“In its purest energetic sense, manifesting occurs as a result of magnetically drawing to you that which you desire. By putting forth your intention into the universe, you are setting the energy wheels in motion so that you may receive exactly what you requested.” pg. 49

“If your desire to be in love is taking precedence over your desire to be in love with the right person, you may find yourself grasping at any available candidate who comes along, usually with disappointing ends. Trying to rush love is as futile as trying to rush time; each must evolve as it was meant to. This is not an easy lesson to learn, but learn it you must if your desire is for a truly authentic relationship.” pg. 57

“Of course, both partners have to commit if the relationship is to last. If one person is committed and the other is not, the relationship can sustain such an imbalance for only a short period of time before impatience and resentments creep in.” pg. 75

“Creating love is a process that will require your patience, resources, and faculties. When you make the necessary shifts in energy and perspective, you invite love in and give it space to grow. By trusting the process and allowing your love to evolve consciously and naturally, you greatly increase your chances of creating a strong and durable foundation that will weather the test of time.” pg. 81

“Your relationship provides many different avenues through which you can grow. Primarily, the presence of a beloved in your life creates new possibilities for you. He or she can open doors you never knew existed and present options you might not have considered when you were on your own. Your relationship will excavate your personal issues that need to be healed, stretch your boundaries, and teach you how to relate on an advanced level. Your beloved becomes your partner in your growth process, as you do in his or hers, leading each other down exciting paths and through life-altering challenges.” pg. 83

“Your partner’s support can lead you to new heights (or depths). It can be the pillar that props you up when you feel weak or it can be the wind beneath your wings that allows you to fly. In return, you support can move your partner from ‘I can’t’ to ‘I can’ and give him the inspiration to expand into greater levels. This is the essence of what it means to be there for each other.” pg. 87

“Neither person in a relationship arrives perfect. Every individual is on a path of continuous improvement, and one of the main benefits of having a loving partner is the support that she offers as you make your way along your path. Two whole people supporting each other is a powerful combination that can ultimately help you both in your personal growth processes.” pg. 89

“You will need to learn the valuable lesson of sharing within the context of your relationship. Without sharing, a partnership is merely a grouping of two individuals looking out only for themselves. Sharing is the essence of teamwork and partnership. Each person will need to learn it and remember it whenever the urge to withhold arises to ensure that the dynamic of ‘we’ is maintained.
In relationships, sharing extends to your body, emotions, thoughts, time, space, and personal belongings.” pg. 98-99

“Communication acts as the medium through which you build bridges to your partner. Each person comes to a relationship with his or her own perception of reality, and it is only through communication that two people can connect those two realities. By building those bridges, partners begin to create a hallowed space between them that will serve as the foundation of every interaction they have with each other and lead them toward greater and deeper intimacy.” pg. 108

“Without clear communication, there is no means through which partners can bridge their inner realities. They remain two single people engaged in a paired dynamic, which looks like a partnership from the outside but lacks the invisible webbing that connects their hearts and souls. They may experience feelings of isolation and loneliness despite the presence of their partner in their life, for nothing creates a more poignant ache than being in close proximity yet emotionally distant.” pg. 109

“The essence of true communication is disclosure. With each exchange, partners have a choice to draw closer to each other by disclosing their truths or to move further apart by keeping secrets, refusing to share what is inside them. As I said in chapter three, withholding builds walls while disclosing builds bridges. It’s your choice—walls or bridges.” pg. 115

“Most disagreements that arise between partners get pulled into a cycle of attack, defend, retaliate, and so on until one is wounded, both are exhausted, or one gives up. The only way out of this cycle is for both people to change it by listening to what the other person has to say without reacting defensively and retaliating. It takes one of you moving out of ‘fight’ and ’right’ mode for the exchange to lose its heat and return the environment to one that is emotionally safe for both of you.” pg. 124

“Listening without defensiveness requires that you deactivate your reactor button. You may initially feel hurt by what your partner says, because you are human and no one enjoys hearing about his or her imperfections. The key is to notice the hurt and recognize that you can feel it and still not have to operate from it. This will allow you to step outside of yourself to receive your partner’s truth objectively, then assess clearly whether you think what he or she is saying is valid. If you do not think it is, then you can respond accordingly. If you do think your partner’s comments have merit, you can use the information constructively toward your own improvement.” pg. 124

“Of course, this is much easier said than done. It requires the will-power to refrain from judging your partner’s actions when they have a direct impact on you. Those are the moments you must choose in a split second whether to take a step toward intimacy by listening without judging or toward damage by reacting with defensiveness, anger, or criticism.” pg. 125

“At the heart of the ‘No Stones in the Basket’ theory is the cardinal commandment of telling your truth. You may believe that you could never tell your truth for fear of the consequences. If you withhold your truth because you believe that the other person can’t handle it and will be hurt or angry or offended beyond repair, then you are doing her an even bigger disservice than you know. By withholding your truth, you not only weigh down your own basket, which affects her anyway, but you also deny her the opportunity to grow from your feedback.” pg. 129

“Nothing creates a stone faster than not asking for what you want. It is the quickest way for resentments to form, as it not only impacts your tangible reality but your self-respect as well.” pg. 131

“How can you deal with someone who is completely different from you in one aspect or another? By simply letting them be and resisting the impulse to change them into your clone. They are fine just the way they are.” pg. 137

“An impasse is a misalignment that results in a standstill. When you and your partner put forward your views or desires and you discover they are in opposition, then you will be faced with a choice: to either move into ‘needing to be right’ or ‘wanting the outcome to work for both of us.’ The scenario you choose will determine whether you embark on an effective negotiation or a battle royal.” pg. 139

“An argument is similar to a disagreement in content but vastly different in intent. Disagreeing means holding opposing views. Arguing means holding opposing views and investing energy into winning the other person over to your position. When a disagreement escalates into an argument, the partners dig their heels in and take on the role of warriors seeking to best their opponent.” pg. 139-140

“Fights damage the connective tissue of your relationship. If hurtful words are exchanged in the heat of anger, the trust between you can get bruised. Hostile words can slice wounds deeper than any dagger. If you or your partner do not feel safe to disagree with the other, then opposing desires or needs may be suppressed, only to resurface later as resentments.” pg. 140

“What is unacceptable is hurting the one you love just to be right. Be careful what you say in the heat of passion. Focus on the issue at hand and remember that assassinating your mate’s character will cause damage far greater than the satisfaction you may feel from getting your way in the moment.” pg. 141

“The successful outcome came about because both partners scored a victory for their own needs without winning at the other’s expense.” pg. 150

“As W. Mitchell, one of my dear friends, says, ‘It’s not what happens to you, but what you do about it that matters.’” pg. 160

“Being flexible requires that you be unattached to what was. Each time a change occurs, what was ceases to exist and what has become is the norm. Change signals a new chapter. Flexibility is what allows you to be quick on your feet rather than digging in your heels and clinging to what you once knew.” pg. 163

“Change is not a temporary thing. You do not pass through it and then return to normal. What was normal has been altered, either slightly or radically, and you will need to accommodate whatever new elements are called for into your shared life in order to make it run smoothly again.” pg. 164

“Challenges, hardships, and crises will happen, so it is best to use them as opportunities to strengthen your bond. Pulling together in crises is what partnership is all about, and it is what will enable you and your partner to move into greater realms of intimacy.” pg. 171

“If you could take a picture of your life as it is right now and freeze it for eternity, it might be great for antiquity, but the stagnation would eventually grow tiresome. Change is what makes life interesting and keeps people and relationships continuously evolving.” pg. 173

“If you treat your relationship with appreciation and respect, it will remain strong. If you give it your time, attention, and effort, it will continue to grow with each passing day. However, if you take it for granted and assume it will just continue along as it is, chances are it, too, will wither and die.” pg. 174-175

“It can be so easy to take a love relationship for granted. Once the ‘hard part’ of finding and creating love is done, many people then declare themselves ‘set,’ and turn their attention to other areas; they check it off their list of things they need to do. A relationship, however, is an ever-evolving entity that demands nurturing in order to survive; like a garden, it has basic requirements. When the first harvest season is over, it still needs to be cared for with love, appreciation, and respect if it is to continue to bloom year after year.” pg. 175

“Nurturing the connection between your partner and you is what sustains your relationship. That connection must be reinforced each and every day to remain strong. This reinforcement is not something only to be done annually, on anniversaries or birthdays, but rather it must become as normal to you as waking up in the morning and brushing your teeth. It is easy to feel this magic in the beginning of your relationship, when passions are high and emotions are flowing. The challenge is to maintain it through daily sustenance and nurturing of each other.” pg. 175

“At the heart of nurturing your relationship is the act of treasuring your beloved. Treasuring your beloved means that you hold him dear to you. It means that you appreciate him for all his wonderful qualities and demonstrate as often as you can how important and special he is to you. In the act of treasuring, you show your partner in direct and subtle ways that he is the person who still makes your heart race and your stomach flutter.” pg. 175-176

“There is a distinct difference to being there and being there. Being there means you are present and accounted for in physical form. Being there means you show up not just in body but in mind, heart, and spirit. It means that you are actively engaged in relating with your partner, and it means that you are fully present.” pg. 176

“Relationship check-ins are tune-ups for your union. When partners check in, it means they set aside a few moments to touch base and connect with one another. Are they happy? Did they solve that problem at work? How are they feeling about themselves? You share with each other the joys, sorrows, challenges, breakthroughs, stresses, and victories that occur in each of your individual lives. You discover your partner’s concerns and you share yours. You update each other on your current priorities and what has changed, both intrinsically and extrinsically, since you last touched base. In essence, checking in means pausing amidst your busy life to ask your partner with sincerity, ‘How are you?’ and truly listening to the answer.” pg. 180

“At the heart of treasuring your loved one lies the energy of giving. Giving is the way you manifest your feelings into tangible form. It is how you extend generosity to your mate, how you reach out with affection, and how you offer your devotion. To give to your partner is to give your love.” pg. 190-191

“You can give your partner your time, attention, or energy—all gifts that are immeasurably valuable. The greatest gift you can give your partner is something you cannot buy—the gift of yourself.” pg. 191

“You must love yourself first. If you feel fully loved by yourself, you will not be tempted to lose yourself in another. If you are whole and complete within yourself, then you will maintain your center. If you feel cared for and honored at your core, the signs will be only too clear. If you have clear criteria for how you want to be treated, then you will have a ballast to keep you on course. If you require respect, kindness, caring, and integrity, then any behavior that is other than that will be obvious. If you accept yourself for who and what you are, then you will recognize anyone who is not equally validating. If you have trustworthy anchors surrounding you who will tell you the truth, you only have to pay attention to those you love and trust over time. If you are firmly grounded in who you are, you will never find yourself in a relationship that puts you at risk. Even though you will forget all these rules the moment you fall in love, you can remember them, and awaken from your dreamlike state by remembering who [the f*ck] you are.” pg. 245

Book: borrowed from SSF Main Library.

[N. Nawar · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب قيّم هادف … بنصح فيو … سهل سلس الأبجدية … مدعم بالأمثلة العملية بشكل جيد ووافي لشرح أفكار الكاتبة … المحتوى أعمق بكتير من مدلول العنوان … كتاب يحتاجه أي شخص بمرحلة ما من العمر للارتقاء أعلى بالنضج العقلي العاطفي!
مما أعجبني:(( ثم إن الألفة تعني في جوهرها إلى أي مدى يسمح أحد الطرفين للآخر بالاقتراب من ذاته ، وإلى أي مدى يكون متاحا له على المستويين الشخصي والعاطفي ، فالألفة تعني أن تسمح لنفسك بأن تكون ضعيفا وفي نفس الوقت أن تجعل محبوبك يشعر بالأمان وهو يفصح عما بداخل نفسه …))

[Marwah wm · Rating 5 out of 5]

إذا كان الحب لعبة ، فهذه هي قوانينها، كتاب يقدم عشرة قوانين للعلاقة الصحيحة والمبادئ التي تعارف العالم عليها والتي تحكم العلاقات العاطفية ، كذلك يمكن ان تستخدم هذه القوانين في رحله الحياه، وعندما يكون الانسان مرتبكا أو حائرا او تساوره الشكوك ، او عندما يخشى الخيارات الخاطئه قد يجد في هذه القوانين مرجع ودليل في سفر الحياه ..
هذه القوانين العشره
١- يجب أن تحب ذاتك في المقام الأول ، فصلب علاقتك كلها هو علاقتك بذاتك ، فمن شروط إيجاد رابطة حب حقيقة ناجحة مع شخص أخر آن تحب ذاتك أولا ..
٢-أن يكون لك شريك هو خيارك ، آن يكون لك علاقة مع أخر هو خيار متروك لك ، فلديك القدرة على جذب شريكك والدخول معه في العلاقة التي ترغبها .
٣- الحب عملية تتكون من خطوات ، التحول من أنا إلى نحن يتطلب تغييرا في المفهوم والطاقة ، فالتحول إلئ ثنائي حقيقى يعد تقدما في حد ذاته ..
٤-تبادل العلاقات سينمى الشخصية ، إن ماتقيمه من علاقات هو بمثابة مدرسه للحياة تتعلم فيها أشياء عن نفسك وكيف يمكن لشخصيتك أن تنمو وتنضج
٥-التواصل يعد آمرا جوهريا ، التبادل الصريح للأفكار والمشاعر هو قوام الحياة في علاقتكما ..
٦- التفاوض أمر مطلوب ، سيكون هناك أوقات يتعين عليك وعلى شريك مناقشة العراقيل التي تعترض طريكما ، إذا فعلت ذلك عن وعي وباحترام ، ستتعلن كيف تحصل على نتائج تعود بالنفع على كليكما ..
٧- علاقتك العاطفية ستكون عرضة لتحدي التغيير، لاتسير الحياة في خط مستقيم ، وكيفية تعاملك مع تقلبات الحياة هي التي تحدد مدى نجاح علاقتك ..
٨-عليك أن تغذى العلاقة لتزدهر ، قدر من تحب وستزدهر علاقتكما
٩- التجديد هو سر طول العمر ، السعادة الدائمة تعني القدرة على إبقاء العلاقة متجددة وحيوية
١٠- سوف تنسي كل ذلك لحظة أن تقع في الحب ، آنت على علم بكل هذه القوانين بصورة متأصلة ، والتحدي هنا هو أن تتذكرها عندما تقع في الحب ..
كل هذه القوانين مصحوبة بالتجارب والقصص الأجتماعيه الي عملت عليها الباحثه ، هذه القوانين ليست مثاليه ، فقط تحتاج الى قدر كبير من الجهد والصبر والعناء لأنجاحها ، فالحب ذاته أمر يسير وطبيعي ولكنه يضع أمامنا الكثير من التحديات التي يجب أن نتخطها بقوانين مبسطه لتوطيد علاقاتنا مع الأخرين .. رحله جميله مع الحب ..

[هَنَادِيِ أَبُوسَيفْ HMA · Rating 4 out of 5]

كتاب حول الحب كممارسة يومية والعيش كشركاء محبين ، متفهمين ومخلصين!
كتاب قيم لكل ثنائي يسعى للأفضل في علاقته ، أنصح به
و أدخره لقراءة ثانية مستقبلاً إن شاء الله تعالى مع شريك حياتي.

[Kathi · Rating 5 out of 5]

this is a great book for anyone, but is great if you are single. it helps bring clarity to the importance of taking care of yourself first and being clear about what you want in your soulmate. we often make exceptions and allow ourselves to be in relationships that do not serve us. those relationships eventually end because they were not sustainable.

[Mufidha Brilian · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is great motivation especially while you broke your heart. I red this book about 6 years ago and still remember every part of it. this book tells us to love ourself first before decide to love other, and i think its work.. hehe..
may be you will not agree with every rules she give you, but some of them is brilliant. happy reading :)

[Karishma · Rating 5 out of 5]

The book is more than amazing and really I hope if we can follow these rules in actual life in addition I like her theory of "you have to love and respect yourself before thinking hw to love others.Really Amazing!

[Turki Ali · Rating 5 out of 5]

للكاتبة نظرة في الحب وقواعد 10
أحببت الكتاب جدا أفدادني كثيرا بالإمكان تطبيقة القواعد العشرة في كثير من مجالات الحياة وليس في الزواج فقط

[عبدالرحمن الراشد]

http://smawt.net/?p=899

[Ahmed El-dressi]

كلام مكرر حشو من الي تلقاه في أي كتاب من نفس النوع. 3 نجوم لا يخلو من كم فقرة جيدة وقصة ممتعة فيها العبرة.

[Aljo San Pedro · Rating 4 out of 5]

I liked this book because it delivers on its premise that most of its contents is common sense and a review for practically anyone old enough and has experienced love-relationships. It genuinely does provide a solid grasp on the “Rules of Love” and O’ve learned quite a lot in the process and know that I can apply a lot of what I’ve learned from notes I’ve made along the way. Some complaints I have, however, are that the examples could’ve been fewer in amount and the explanations be simplified because I really think a book like this didn’t need that much expounding, especially if it aims to help more people. All in all, really recommend it, not just for those who want to have an edge in love but any relationships in general because the rules can be applied there as well.

(Also, a little thank you to the author because a friend of mine really benefited from the idea of making lists of required, desired, and deal-breaking characteristics in a partner/friend. He said, “Oh, so that’s why my problems keep coming back: because K didn’t recognize it in plain sight.”

[Aboaqeel · Rating 5 out of 5]

اسم الكتاب : اذا كان الحب لعبة
اسم المؤلف : شيري كارتر
عدد الصفحات : 282
التصنيف : رومانسي
هو كتاب يتكلم عن قواعد لحب صادق وناجح ومستمر وكيف اكون موفق في اختيار الشريك . الكتاب جميل حيث عرض امور مهمة في الحياة وتوثر على مستقبل الناس من خلال اختيار الشركاء ولازم يعرفوا كيف يحلو مشاكلهم وغيرها من الامور . اسلوب الكاتبة جميل ودعمت الكتاب بقصص حقيقة اعطت الكتاب واقعية اكثر . الراي الشخصي : انصح بقراءته
التقييم : 5/5

[Christine L · Rating 2 out of 5]

I found this book pretty boring actually but then again I'm not much into self-help books either. The reviews are great from pretty much everyone so don't let my assessment sway you to not read this book.

Basically it boils down to, you have to love and respect yourself before you can receive it from or give it to others.

[Samar · Rating 3 out of 5]

هذا الكتاب من أخف الكتب الممكن قرائتها ، يحتوي على الكثير من البديهيات والأفكار المتعارفة بالنسبة لنا في اللاوعي والقليل من الأفكار الجديدة المصاغة بشكل مختلف .
أستغرقني وقتًا طويلاً نظرًا لأنني قرأت أكثر من فصل مرات عدة قبل الإنتقال لفصل آخر ، بالتأكيد سأعيد قرأته مجددًا لأتذكر بعض النقاط، بعض الفصول ممتازة لمن هو بحاجة للتوجيه بخصوص العلاقات .

[Dalia Alwakel · Rating 5 out of 5]

كتاب لذيذ

[Tranhuyen · Rating 5 out of 5]

rất hay ạ

[Raghad Alakhras · Rating 5 out of 5]

لو كان التقدير اكثر من 5 نجمات لوضعت الف نجمة
شيري شكراً لتعريفك الحب بطريقة نحتاج تعديل مفاهيمنا اتجاهه ، الكتاب مجنون و لا يصدق

[Mary Maria · Rating 5 out of 5]

الكتاب اكثر من رائع كما قالت الكاتبة نحن نعرفها القواعد لكن يجب ان نتذكرها عندما نحب

[Alexandra Cathrine · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is an important read for everyone, I'm going to treat this like a Bible.

[سارة عادل · Rating 4 out of 5]

كلنا نعرف كيف نقع في الحب ولكننا لا نعرف كيف نحافظ عليه ، وهذا من الكتب الذي يعلمك كيف تحافظ على حبك وتجعله حب وعلاقة صحية كيف ما أمكن.

[Marge Shelton · Rating 4 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I don't usually read non-fiction because I need a plot to hold my interest. But this cute little book caught my eye. I read half of it months ago and then set it down. I picked it up yesterday to finish it off so I could achieve my goal of 20 books in 2015 ~ I took it down to the wire and needed a book that I had almost finished.

This book has good thoughts regarding maintaining an authentic relationship. It is written as ten rules. Each rule is explained and supported with sample relationships dealing with the issue the rule addresses. The book discusses romantic relationships but also applies to platonic relationships. I may read this book again some time.

[Indigo Deville · Rating 5 out of 5]

Mungkin pas baca buku ini, aku lagi dalam masa recovery dari hancurnya sebuah hubungan yg sudah begitu lama dibina, mangkanya benar-benar merasuk kalbu.

Pertanyaan2 yg begitu mengganggu pikiran: "WHAT HAVE I DONE TO DESERVE THIS?" seakan-akan dijawab halaman demi halaman.

Saya STRONGLY RECOMMEND buku ini kepada mereka yg akan / sedang membina hubungan supaya bisa long-lasting!

[Novy Khayra · Rating 4 out of 5]

Cinta sejati adalah memilih pasangan Anda persis seperti apa adanya, mengerahkan energi dibalik pilihan Anda dan membuat hubungan itu menjadi mempesona. Cinta sejati adalah menghargai kebenaran pasangan Anda dan menginginkan yang terbaik baginya.

Sumber: http://id.shvoong.com/social-sciences...

[Azmir Ismail · Rating 3 out of 5]

Finally finished this book. Full of good advicse on love and relationships. Some of the stuff mentioned here are things that we are familiar and have heard, but Ms Cherie gives in a patient tone. Recommended for those looking for love advice from a gentle point of view.

[Latham · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have a huge backlog of self-help books...I think it's the psyc major in me...Anyway, this book makes some good points, nothing ground-breaking. However, it highlights the value of treating a loved ones with the utmost respect and NOT taking them granted~ Always a good reminder!