Si Amas A Tu Adolescente

by Ross Campbell

Ayuda a resolver las dificultades relacionadas con los adolescentes. La mayor parte de los problemas con los adolescentes se puede mitigar o rectificar si se corrigen las tensiones existentes en la relacion entre la madre (o el padre) y su hijo. Si amas a tu adolescente es una ayuda practica para los padres que quieren comunicar a sus hijos adolescentes que realmente son aceptados y amados.

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, Self Help, Relationships, Family, Family Life

144 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1981

Reviews

[Mackenzie babst · Rating 5 out of 5]

Ross Campbell really knows what’s up when it comes to parenting and love in general. I’ve read the majority of his books and I’m never disappointed. I always learn so much more with each one. I feel like a much more patient parent after reading all of the books I’ve read of his.

[Saulius · Rating 3 out of 5]

Knyga yra iš dalies profesionali ir kupina naudingos bei teisingos informacijos. Deja, ji taip pat užteršta beverčiais religiniais intarpais, kurie kai kur perauga į ištisus skyrius. Nepaisant to ir remiantis sveika logika iš šios knygos galima atsirinkti objektyvios ir naudingos gyvenimiškos išminties.

[Stacy Myers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I love all of Mr Campbell’s books! They’re easy to read with ACTUAL applications. I hate parenting books that are just general ideas. I want to know HOW to do things.

I also appreciate that he’s a dad on the other side. He’s not giving me advice while he’s in the thick of things. He’s your mentor, guiding you along.

I learned a lot of things to help me connect better with my teen and for that I am thankful.

Also, bonus points for short books. Why blather on and on? 😜😉

[Daniel Kleven · Rating 5 out of 5]

I'm skeptical of frameworks claiming to be The One And Only Way to do anything, and certainly there are a lot of these Ways that have been marketed to parents over the years. However, it is helpful to have a framework to fall back on when things are tough, or some sense of direction when thing are confusing or difficult, especially when it comes to parenting, and as far as A Philosophy and Methodology of Parenting, it's hard to beat "unconditional love" as a bedrock principle.

All of Campbell's work (How to Really Love Your Child, How to Really Love Your Angry Child, and his collaboration with Chapman The Five Love Languages of Children) simply fleshes out the many facets of this one principle: unconditional love -- what it looks like and feels like; how it applies to different situations; pitfalls and obstacles to living it out; what it looks like for young children, angry children, teens, and even grandchildren.

Anyway, thoughtful parents and readers will not always agree with every single jot and tittle, &c, &c, but thoughtful parents and readers will find themselves deeply encouraged and empowered to love their children, and to do everything they do out of that love. Hard to beat that!

[Brandi D'Angelo · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a book on "the softer side" of parenting, focusing mostly on positive things you can do to foster your relationship with your teen. Some things were obvious like spending time with them and pointing out positive things. Other things weren't so obvious like watching your moods and making sure you are training your older teen to take on adult responsibilities. If you're like me, sometimes you just forget that they're a year older and can do ____ on their own now. I just got my own kids washing dishes- a long time a-coming!

One thing I liked and copied from the book was the "anger ladder." It lists out the progression from immature anger to mature anger, which gives you a good snapshot of where your child is. Does he destroy items when he's mad? (bottom of the ladder) Can he verbalize anger and work towards a solution? (higher rung on the ladder!) The goal is to get them moving to the next rung, one at a time. And most importantly, let them express their anger

[Meghan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Classic book, got it free on kindle, but lots of great advice still pertinent for today. A good reminder about being an example to your kids on how you want them to handle their emotions, and emphasis on "connect before you correct."

[Aija Ekmane · Rating 3 out of 5]

Lasīju latviski.
Daži vērtīgi padomi, bet svarīgi atcerēties, ka "Pusaudži ir bērni pārejas vecumā. Viņi nav jauni pieauguši cilvēki. Viņu emocionālās vajadzības ir tādas pašas kā bērnam."

[Charley Rains · Rating 1 out of 5]

did not finish. anyone who calls his own daughter retarded is not someone I trust to know how to treat teenagers.

[Ann · Rating 2 out of 5]

Rather dated and language patronizing in places. Loved the part where he advised his daughter (heading off to college) to write down the names of all her friends so she could keep in touch with them!!! Obviously written pre-Facebook ;-) By the end I felt like we were going round in circles looking at more and more problems and just being told 'love your teenager'. Glad I've read it as a starting point for thinking about the next phase in our kids' development but will definitely be on the lookout for other books with a fresher and more positive outlook

[Jill · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was first published in 1981 (which explains The Love Boat example) and revised in 1993. Yes, it is dated....no technology references because cell phones were huge bag phones and social media was decades in the future. That being said, there are still timeless principles for all parents of teenagers. Campbell explains that just because we love our children doesn't mean that they feel loved by us. He gives practical advice in a nonjudgmental way. It's only 140 pages and worth the read if you have or will have teenagers.

[YAMILETH GUERRERO · Rating 5 out of 5]

Una excelente guia para conocer a nuestros adolescentes

El autor enseña y da tips de como podemos conversar y ser amigos de nuestros hijos sin dejar de ser padres. Tambien nos alienta afirmando que no es facil criarlos pero que la recompensa vale la pena.

[Mercedes de Agüero · Rating 4 out of 5]

Es un libro accesible, puntual, fundamentado y amoroso para mejora la relación familiar y parental con nuestros hijos adolescentes.

[Terri Frank · Rating 4 out of 5]

Remember the newborn care manuals we all thumbed through often when our kids were little? Ever wish you had one for the teen years? Now you do!!! I took notes while reading this book. There are some really good tips. The most important advice I think is to keep tabs on your kids all the way through college and young adulthood. In high school, when your child wants to go to a party, call the parents to get a feel for the party. Are the parents open to your questions? That can tell you a lot. In college, don't underestimate your child's need for mail, phone calls and visits from you. As a Christian counselor, the author does cite some verses from the Bible. They are fairly well-known verses (the golden rule) that shouldn't offend non-Christians as long as you know they're coming. His psychological advice and descriptions of different medical issues (teenage depression) are top notch. He gives examples from both his private practice (with names changed) and his own children's teenage years to effectively drive home a principle. I agree with the author's recommendation to read this book once through to get an overview and, then, to keep on hand as specific issues come up over the years.

[Brenten Gilbert · Rating 4 out of 5]

RATING 3.67 STARS

I didn't realize when I started reading this that it was an old book. Like almost as old as me.

Fortunately, it was updated a few years ago and much of the advice is timeless. This is a nice complement to the books I've been reading about managing technology in the household and exploring generational differences, so it was helpful in many regards.

One downside is the repetitive nature of the writing. I get driving your point home and I remember being taught to state your point, explain your point, and then state your point again... but it's a bit distracting.

Worth reading overall, though.

[John · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really good contiuation to "How to really love your Child" but for parenting your teenagers. Not much repetition from the first, but rather a lot of good guiding for when your little one grows up. I may need to revisit this when mine grow up in a few years. Many of the advice from here still rings true today, and Ross Campbell is worth listening to. Of course, the field has evolved, so I would not say that this is THE book to read anymore - but it sure must have been one of the top ones not too far back in time.

Especially important is the part showing us the dangers of passive agressiveness.

[Siobhan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Read this for psychology. Pretty good ideas in it. I especially liked the part about how it important it is to teach your teenager how to deal with anger. It's not good for parents to expect their kids to bottle everything up or to just not express anger at all. Very dangerous. I was glad the book talked about that important subject because learning how to deal correctly with anger is an important life skill that leads to a mature, well-functioning adult.

[Wade · Rating 4 out of 5]

Returned to this book recently when I was teaching a class to parents of teenagers on the topic of teenage anger. The chapter entitled “Teenage Anger” is worth the price of admission for this book. The “Anger Ladder” in that chapter is extremely helpful. Seriously, buy the book and just read that chapter. Very helpful.

[Sherilyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

A lot of great things came out of the 80’s and this is one of them. Lots of gold nuggets about parenting. Yes, some of it is dated but the majority of it stands the test of time! If you can find a copy, read it!

[Martha Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of the most PRACTICAL books on relating to young people that I have read...practical in explanation of behavior, in methods of connecting and correcting, and in explaining exactly the parents' appropriate role is in a teen's (and beyond) life.
Definitely going to re-read this one.

[Rayis Imayev · Rating 4 out of 5]

Finished reading the book "How to Really Love Your Teenager". Liked parts about passive-aggressive behaviour, unconditional love and several other topics. Purchased it in a used-book store, but it still provided some valuable lessons for modern-age kids.

[Vilma · Rating 5 out of 5]

Nepaisant to, kad ši knyga pirmą kartą išleista 1981 metais ir joje nėra nieko apie moderniųjų technologijų poveikį, tačiau pagrindiniai dalykai čia labai gerai išdėstyti.
Pats autorius yra religingas, tačiau man tai per daug netrukdė. Bendrai tekste šis reikalas nebuvo akcentuojamas, o skyrių apie religiją auklėjime tiesiog praleidau.
Man ši knyga iš ties patiko, nes tarp jau žinomų tiesų (besąlyginė tėvų meilė) perskaičiau ir kai ką naujo ir/arba naudingo:
1. kokie dideli paaugliai beatrodytų (mano dvylikametis jau lygus su manimi - 170 cm), jie vis dar vaikai, ne suaugusieji.
2. Normalus, sveikas paauglys turi vesti tėvus iš proto ir pusiausvyros.
3. 12-15 amžiaus laikotarpyje nuotaikų kaita dažnai susijusi su praeities nuoskaudomis. Vaikas prisiminęs nuoskaudą grįžtą į tą situaciją, laiką pilnai - mąstymu, elgesiu. Todėl sprendžiant šią nuoskaudą ir reikia su juo bendrauti kaip su to laikmečio vaiku, net jei tai reikš, kad su trylikamečiu bendrausite kaip su penkiamečiu.
4. Pyktis ir jo išraiška. Čia apskritai aukso vertė, mano nuomone, ir šią dalį turėtų perskaityti dar tik kūdikių tėveliai, kurie nuo pat pradžių kartu su vaiku mokytųsi teisingai išreikšti pyktį. Arba suaugę žmonės, taip ir neišmokę pykti nekenkiant sau ir aplinkiniams. Pyktis nėra blogas ar geras jausmas savaime. Svarbu ne pats pyktis, bet kaip jį suvaldyti.

[Jurate · Rating 3 out of 5]

The title is unfortunate as I feel it implies you don’t love your child, where only people that really love children will read these books to begin with . That aside, there are some good nuggets to prepare parents for teen years and what to look for. A lot of common sense though

[Linda Rooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

Great book for helping your child through their teenage years! I loved this book and read it over and over.

[Aubrey Dutcher · Rating 4 out of 5]

Some good information but also quite outdated.

[The Book Man · Rating 5 out of 5]

I still remember 15th of October when I was shocked after realizing that all my classmates were 4 years younger than me. It was very hard in the beginning because we had different thoughts. But, today, I am very thankful to God that made it up because I felt during all this year as a person that they could believe to share from their own personal life. Indeed, God does everything for a purpose, doesn’t He?!
I decided to spend time with an extreme cigarette user, poor grades, and a defiant attitude guy. When I met him alone, he was a calm, polite boy and exceptionally easy to communicate with.
After a long shocking conversation with him about the relationship he has with his parents I decided to read this book, "How To Really Love Your Teenager" by Ross Campbell.
Dear parents,
This book on teenagers was written expressly for you by another parent. His strongest desire was to see his children grow into strong, healthy, happy, and independent adults—and they did, thank God. He desires the same for your teenager as well.
Parents,
I am not criticizing you today, but I am just writing down what I learned from this amazing book.
Please, make sure your teenager feels unconditionally loved, through use of eye contact, physical contact, and focused attention. Give intellectual affirmation by listening and carefully noticing the way he or she thinks and comes to conclusions. Respect your teen by giving your opinion without criticizing or denouncing your child’s thinking.

Here are some advices for you :D
1. Parents must teach their teenager spiritual concerns.
2. Parents must share their own spiritual experiences.
3. Parents should be examples of forgiveness.
4. Parents must train teenagers how to handle anger maturely.

God bless you hard challengers by being a PARENT!

(I would highly suggest this book if one of you wants to learn more in parent-child/teenager relationship. D. Ross Campbell, M.D., is a psychiatrist serving adults, adolescents, and children. He is a noted author and lecturer on parent-child relationships)

[Audrey · Rating 5 out of 5]

While this book was originally written in 1981 (I was in preschool!), I read the Kindle version which was published in 2004, and updated. I thought it was a great book - it was recommended to me even though I don't have teens, I have pre-teens and OMG I am so glad I read it now, before hormones kick in and emotions go wild. Alot of the principles we already hold to as a strong Christian family, like unconditional love and talking things out, and showing lots of love verbally and physically, while still setting and maintaining boundaries.

But there were some great chapters on anger management and depression which were amazingly eye-opening. It not only gave me a lot of insight and tools to use with my own kids as they continue to grow and mature, but it provided good perspective on ministering to other people's kids too - kids who may or may not come from Christian homes. This would be a great book for youth workers and youth pastors to read as well as parents.

Strongly recommend!

[Renee · Rating 5 out of 5]

Every parent should read this book! With the 13th birthday of my oldest, I sat down for a reread of this important book this summer, and was promptly pummeled by Dr. Campbell's hard-hitting truths. I am continually grateful for Dr. Campbell and his simple yet profound insights into godly parenting, chiefly the filling of the child's emotional tank, which becomes more difficult and complex with the hormonal vicissitudes of adolescence. Regardless, this book will remind you of what is most important, how to parent with evenness and control (the chapter on Anger is heavily marked ), and the timing and steps for child independence by age 18. With only five years left, this book helped me get my parenting game face on.

[Sue · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent, reassuring advice about showing older children that they are loved by their parents. The book deals with potential areas of conflict, and explains how to create good environments for listening and sharing, and increased communication.

As well as reading it in full in 2000 - when my sons were 13 and 11 - I dipped into this repeatedly, just about every year until they left home, and each time found more gems of wisdom.

Highly recommended, to all parents of pre-teens and teenagers, whether or not problems are occurring.

[Theresa Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Good reminders inside. It does what it sets out to do (ideas for communicating unconditional love, handling teen anger (and your own), dealing with adolescent depression, helping your teen grow spiritually and intellectually) but no earthshattering revelations or pure gold advice. Dr. Ross is a professor of pediatrics and psychiatry, and while the book is easy reading, he uses some psychological 'tools' (like the 'Anger Ladder'), which I just don't relate to. The book is Christian, not Catholic. Overall, certainly worth a peruse at the library.

[Elin · Rating 4 out of 5]

November 2009: I suddenly have a teenager in my house, and feel the need for some advice. I have a feeling this book might be helpful....

March 2010: I'm reading this book slowly. I think I need to, cuz with it I'm discovering things I need to re-think and work with as a mom. This book challenges me over and over again. And it actually helps me more aware of what the young man in front of me may need from his mother. I'm on page 103 now.