Feed the Baby: An Inclusive Guide to Nursing, Bottle-Feeding, and Everything In Between

by Victoria Facelli IBCLC

Finally, a book on newborn feeding that focuses on the milks and the methods, for all families. Getting a baby fed is one of the most important tasks for a new parent. With straightforward advice and evidence-based reasoning, lactation consultant Victoria Facelli introduces her modern approach in Feed the Baby . Both bottle and breast are welcomed as equally valuable tools. Based on her years of experience in the field, Facelli understands what families and babies need to thrive. She explains the science behind the various options, from how milks are made to how a newborn’s sucking and swallowing skills develop. Here are dozens of nursing positions and paced bottle-feeding techniques, with suggested systems and methods for parents and partners, from those critical hours after birth through the early weeks and months to the first year. Includes detailed information on hunger cues, sleep, pumping, milk supply, and much-needed support and encouragement for challenging moments. Illustrations and links to video demonstrations make it easy to implement whatever protocol the reader decides will work best for them. 35 illustrations

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Audiobook

304 pages, Hardcover

Published August 1, 2023

Reviews

[Camryn Thompson · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so helpful, informative, and resourceful and I will definitely be referring back to it!

[Kersten Schubert · Rating 5 out of 5]

I wish I had this book during pregnancy rather than postpartum, although I read it after the fact, still very helpful to know I’m not alone in the breastfeeding struggle. Would recommend to anyone who is pregnant or struggling with feeding, it’s a topic hardly discussed and I was severely underprepared.

[Sam Lee · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is one of the best books on infant feeding I have come across. “Feed the Baby” provides evidence based information on infant feeding while also giving practical guidance and stories that make you feel like you aren’t alone, whatever your feeding experience may be. There is a lot of conflicting information on infant feeding in the world, and I appreciated how options were presented so I could make the best decision for our family and our situation. I was disappointed by other books I read because I left feeling shamed and pressured to achieve a specific delivery and feeding experience. Facelli offers the opposite - a warm and knowledgeable voice to guide you through the realities of feeding your baby. I was appreciative that the book covers not only breastfeeding but also pumping and formula feeding. As a pediatrician and mom, I would recommend this book to any parent wanting a good resource on infant feeding!

[Katherine Ellis · Rating 1 out of 5]

if I could give this book 0 stars I would. it was one of the worst books i’ve ever read in regards to breastfeeding/pregnancy/postpartum. I would never recommend this to a client…ever.

like truly this was a difficult read only because I flat out disagreed with 95% of this book. never buy. never recommend.

thanks and gig em

[Jessie Farris · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very similar information to my lactation consultant which is a good thing. I will refer back to this all year. Really loved how it was so inclusive; more so than any other baby book I’ve read.

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

In "Feed the Baby," lactation consultant Victoria Facelli attempts to provide new parents with a modern approach to feeding infants, emphasizing both bottle and breast as valuable tools. However, the book is marred by a significant ethical breach that undermines its credibility and trustworthiness.

Facelli, a certified IBCLC (International Board Certified Lactation Consultant), has unfortunately chosen to partner with a predatory formula company, a decision that contradicts the principles and ethical standards of her profession. This alliance compromises the integrity of the information presented in the book, as it introduces a potential bias towards formula feeding due to financial interests.

While the book claims to offer straightforward advice and evidence-based reasoning, it becomes evident that Facelli downplays the benefits of breastfeeding in favor of formula feeding. This shift in emphasis raises concerns about the author's motives, as her financial ties to a formula company may be influencing the content to prioritize commercial interests over the well-being of infants.

The book's discussion of the science behind feeding options and the various techniques is overshadowed by this ethical lapse. It leaves the reader questioning the authenticity of the information provided, particularly in the sections discussing hunger cues, sleep, pumping, and milk supply.

Moreover, the inclusion of illustrations and links to video demonstrations, intended to make implementation easier for readers, now serve to further promote a potentially biased agenda. The disappointment stemming from this betrayal of professional ethics is palpable, leaving readers with a sense of skepticism and mistrust.

In conclusion, "Feed the Baby" falls short of delivering the promised straightforward advice and evidence-based reasoning due to the author's compromised professional integrity. It is regrettable that what could have been a valuable resource for new parents is marred by a breach of ethical standards within the field of lactation consulting. Readers are advised to approach this book with caution and seek information from sources with a commitment to unbiased, evidence-based guidance.

[Rachana Sukhadia · Rating 5 out of 5]

One month after the traumatic birth of my baby, I found myself in the darkest corner of my postpartum recovery. My husband and I had been struggling with feeding our baby since day one, yet despite the challenges we persisted in searching for all the resources and answers to make it easier. WE TRIED IT ALL. We did tongue tie, consulted with numerous lactation consultants, feeding specialists, the list goes on. Nothing helped the feeding and weight gain improve, well except for ONE cranial sacral therapist, Ayden Love, who I give so much credit to for bringing harmony and balance into my baby's little body.

My baby presented all the typical feeding challenges - discoordinated tongue movements, poor latch, clicking, swallowing air, arching back from gas, crying then falling asleep while nursing, etc. Worst of all I was in severe pain from nursing and was later diagnosed with functional nerve pain in my breasts. I should've never continued breastfeeding for that long. Until one day I was graciously introduced to Victoria and her book. Victoria approached my challenge with such an inclusive, holistic lens. She was culturally aware and sensitive to our unique family dynamic. She centered my health and care while addressing the baby's needs and was able to course correct my situation. SHE SAVED MY LIFE.

My baby slowly began to improve, gain weight, and I was able to begin my pain free journey of enjoying life as a new mom, finally. Victoria was able to help me wean off nursing and provide critical nourishing formula-feeding guidance for my baby. In a few short weeks, most of my baby's feeding concerns resolved. My baby is six months old now and is on her own growth curve, healthy, alert and achieving all her milestones!

I owe so much to Victoria and this book- my new found strength and knowledge in feeding my baby and taking care of my body. This book is full of practical, affirming, gentle and fact-based guidance. I appreciate Victoria's extensive research and data driven information that equipped me with decision making power I needed to feed my baby.

I highly recommend you buy this book if you are pregnant, or know anyone who is about to have a baby - the last thing people talk about during prenatal care is how you plan and prepare to feed your baby. But this book does it all.

[Kate Copeseeley · Rating 4 out of 5]

Whooooo boy! This is a tricky review for me. As a person who spends most of her time supporting people in the field of lactation (human milk feeding) I appreciate that a book like this exists. A family member had a lot of issues feeding her daughter and ending up having to quit breastfeeding for her own mental health and I really do feel like there is a lot of guilt associated with people who have to choose another path. The author is obviously one of those people.
I also love the breadth of language put into use in this book, making it matter-of-fact and inclusive for so many who don't fit a traditional mold. I think this book is a MUST READ for anyone who is helping parents or for any parents who know ahead of time that they won't be breastfeeding.

HOWEVER. I do feel like the author is very dismissive of the magic, the incredible bio-active nature of human milk, in favor of being "feeding neutral" so people don't feel bad if they choose something else.
I always say in my breastfeeding classes: "Whatever you chose in the past, whatever you choose in the future, is not my business. I'm here to present you with information. You take that information and do what's best for your family in your situation."
I would never give this book to new parents or anyone who hasn't taken a breastfeeding class first. But I really do think every lactation provider should read it. We need to have this sort of calm, accepting neutral attitude when it comes to the choices people make for themselves. But I still believe strongly in good, solid education.

****Also, I wrote a bunch of notes about little things she said that are contrary to current evidence, but the one that bothered me most was about pumps. You should NOT borrow a pump from someone or buy a used pump unless you KNOW that it has a lot of pump hours left. If you can't afford a pump, most insurance companies cover them, and WIC will definitely give anyone enrolled in their program a free pump. A used pump can decrease your supply.

[A Cortina · Rating 1 out of 5]

Here is the thing - I can see how, if you are new to breastfeeding and infant feeding, you might think this is a helpful book. It’s unclear whether this author is lacking in basic skill and education in most of the areas she covers in this book, or if she’s deliberately misleading women. My guess would be some of both. Please remember that all providers - and everyone in their jobs - can vary in skill. Some nurses, personal trainers, hairdressers, chefs etc. will be excellent, and some will be quite terrible (and think they’re excellent). To address all of the incorrect information in this book would be to nearly rewrite the book. If you’re looking for helpful books on breastfeeding and infant feeding, there are my great options. Try Kathryn Stagg IBCLC, Emma Pickett IBCLC, Dr Jack Newman (he runs the International Breastfeeding Center), Carol Smyth IBCLC, Maddie McMahon IBCLC (Maddie’s Miracle Bus), Professor Amy Brown, Dr. Lyndsey Hookway. Most of these people also have instagram accounts which can be helpful.

After reading (not all of the book admittedly, I couldn’t do it) I was a bit suspicious so looked up the author and not surprisingly, she has partnered with one of the most predatory formula companies on the market, being proud of her “personal relationship” with them. She’s also being called out repeatedly for ethics violations. She gets publicly annoyed when people try and defend the WHO code against predatory formula marketing.

There are so many great resources for breastfeeding and infant feeding. Please choose another one.

[Emily Hancock · Rating 1 out of 5]

This book is incredibly surface level and lacks depth on a topic that deserves it. Yes, infant feeding information needs to be accessible, but this is very much in the realm of “books that didn’t need to be written” in the sense that it is essentially a collection of information that is already very easily accessible to new parents.

It is also written by a IBCLC, an internationally board certified lactation consultant, who writes and speaks about breastfeeding in a way that makes it seem burdensome and privileged, which is doing mothers a disservice and also is taking a lot away from the certification she holds.

I would encourage women who are seeking infant feeding advice to get it from other mothers who have done things in a way you appreciate and admire firstly, and secondly, when challenges occur that perhaps aren’t as easily addressed by your fellow mothers, from professionals who adhere to the standards of their profession (which in violating the WHO code, this woman does not). Particularly if you want to breastfeed, seek the care and guidance from women who truly love breastfeeding, not authors who promote their books on formula marketing podcasts.

[Marla_singer_818 · Rating 1 out of 5]

Do not buy this book if you want an in depth understanding of the various pros and cons of bottle feeding versus breastfeeding. You'll learn more -- and get more honesty-- from Wikipedia. In an attempt to be 'feeding neutral' the author glosses over the more challenging aspects of each practice and treats each as a consumer choice, equivalent to paper or plastic. This problem is particularly bad when it comes to formula. She states under the cons of formula that there are some "small health risks" and that studies show breastfed babies are less prone to gut and ear problems. She skips the risk of how cronobacter bacteria that can taint formula can kill babies, the supply chain issues with dairy farms, the indisputable rate of higher obesity linked with formula feeding for children, and the dark history of predatory marketing exploiting vulnerable mothers. She also never uses the word "mother" its always "parents" who have nipples. The author also appears in formula marketing materials online so buyer beware

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

She down plays all the benefits of breastfeeding while also downplaying the risks of formula. She says that nursing is “a baseline” and that people can “start there and see where it goes”. Nursing is survival. Nursing gives us our immune systems. Nursing is the right of every mammal infant. Formula is for emergencies when nursing is not available first, and then breastmilk from either mother or another is not available. This silencing in order to appeal to the masses, is extremely damaging to the future of our species. Because formula caries life long health risks of all the major lifestyle diseases that most of the population is already struggling with. Breastmilk has the power to turn the tides of our society. This “permission” to make any choice that feels right at the time, without speaking on involved importance or harm, creates more harm than good. Let’s not forget that we are mammals.

[Reader · Rating 1 out of 5]

This author is completely unethical as a IBCLC and promotes this book on formula platforms (unethical). This book stomps on breastfeeding. She is incredibly biased with a hidden agenda to influence mothers into seeing the “shiny side” of formula feeding. She understates the many health benefits of breastmilk for babies and benefits for the mother including mental health. Meanwhile, praising the many “benefits” of formula feeding. This author would love to “eat her cake and have it too”. She refers to woman as “feeding persons”. Her duty as a lactation consultant to help woman in their breastfeeding journeys and to have minimal influence in how the woman chooses to feed her babies. Writing a book with a biased goes against her code of ethics, by the World Health Organization. Don’t spend your money.

[Nicole · Rating 5 out of 5]

Extremely helpful information wrapped in a very non-judgemental way. As someone who planned to exclusively feed my child breast milk and was able to do so (at least so far), this book contained helpful info on anything from latching and how to tell baby is eating enough to how to maintain production when returning to work. I also appreciated that the author explained formula benefits as a "helping the whole family" kind of thing and in a very non-judgemental way. Breast milk is a superfood, but that doesn't mean it's the best way to go for every family and learning about other feeding options in such a loving way made me feel okay to do so if we do ever need to supplement.

[Charley · Rating 5 out of 5]

I greatly appreciated this book, as someone who is completely incapable of breastfeeding, and as a birthing parent who is not a woman. I know of only a handful of pregnancy and baby books that will even imply that people like me exist, and very few books which mention formula feeding that actually get into the ingredients lists of formula. Thank you so much for writing this.

[Miriam · Rating 3 out of 5]

BADT Doula Reading List

I thought it was a pretty good book and very helpful in reducing guilt around formula feeding. Reading reviews, it seems that she is acc paid by formula companies. As I get into my lactation educator training and am better able to determine what is true, I’ll probably have a different review

[Margo · Rating 2 out of 5]

About halfway through, she advocates in favor of falling asleep while nursing the baby in the adult bed with you, a practice so totally unsafe it made it hard to take anything else she said seriously and made the whole book feel like a waste of money, which was a shame, because I had been liking it okay until then

[Amy Green · Rating 5 out of 5]

Excellent guide to feeding a baby, including great nursing advice and information I didn't know about anatomy. I learned a lot, and skimmed some stuff I already know from prior experience, and it's very inclusive, positive, helpful, open. And funny! I would recommend this to new and re-new parents

[Steffy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Fascinating and practical advice (obviously only for people with babies). Seems super useful to have in hardcopy to flip through. Her approach is to tell you "what works" and prioritize getting things stable instead of committing to a strategy that isn't working.

[Allison · Rating 5 out of 5]

What an incredibly informative and kind book. The author’s vulnerability about her own story is amazing and she extends such generosity and care to her readers. I was totally unprepared for how difficult breastfeeding is and I wish I had read this book earlier.

[abbyobsessesoverbooks · Rating 5 out of 5]

If your are having a baby, READ THIS BOOK.

[Heng · Rating 4 out of 5]

Helpful and detailed book for an expecting parent on feeding the baby

[Nikki · Rating 5 out of 5]

I loved this one! I learned so much about each type of feeding style, postpartum, etc. It truly was an inclusive guide without a bias towards any specific method.

[Katie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very realistic advice, some humor mixed in. A little bit on preemies.

[Sabrina Ingram · Rating 4 out of 5]

Will be a book I always recommend to new moms

[Diana · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book 3 weeks postpartum, but I wish I had read it before I gave birth. This seems to be the best compilation of all the breastfeeding and bottle feeding information, along with hunger cues and other issues, that I've found. Some of the information in this book i haven't even been able to find easily online, such as how frequently feeding should occur by week and when I'll be able to taper down. This book is reassuring and so helpful. This book also has good information for my husband on acid reflux, other situations, and things to look for with the baby. Definitely leaving this one out until my son is substantially older and I'm not breastfeeding him anymore.