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The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be: A Speculative Memoir of Transracial Adoption
Part memoir, part speculative fiction, The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be explores the often surreal experience of growing up as a mixed-Black transracial adoptee.
Dream Country author Shannon Gibney returns with The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be, a book woven from her true story of growing up as a mixed-Black transracial adoptee and fictional story of Erin Powers, the name Shannon was given at birth, a child raised by a white, closeted lesbian.
At its core, the novel is a tale of two girls on two different timelines occasionally bridged by a mysterious portal and their shared search for a complete picture of their origins. Gibney surrounds that story with reproductions of her own adoption documents, letters, family photographs, interviews, medical records, and brief essays on the surreal absurdities of the adoptee experience.
The end result is a remarkable portrait of an American experience rarely depicted in any form.
Dream Country author Shannon Gibney returns with The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be, a book woven from her true story of growing up as a mixed-Black transracial adoptee and fictional story of Erin Powers, the name Shannon was given at birth, a child raised by a white, closeted lesbian.
At its core, the novel is a tale of two girls on two different timelines occasionally bridged by a mysterious portal and their shared search for a complete picture of their origins. Gibney surrounds that story with reproductions of her own adoption documents, letters, family photographs, interviews, medical records, and brief essays on the surreal absurdities of the adoptee experience.
The end result is a remarkable portrait of an American experience rarely depicted in any form.
256 pages, Kindle Edition
First published January 10, 2023
61 people are currently reading
4577 people want to read
About the author
Shannon Gibney
25 books116 followersShannon Gibney was born in 1975, in Ann Arbor, Michigan. She was adopted by Jim and Sue Gibney about five months later, and grew up with her two (biological) brothers, Jon and Ben.
Shannon has loved to read and to write as far back as she can remember. When she was in second grade, she started making “books” about her family’s camping trips, and later graduated to a series on three sibling detectives in fourth grade.When she was 15, her father gave her James Baldwin’s Tell Me How Long the Train’s Been Gone, a book that changed her life and made her see the possibilities of the written word. The novel took a long, difficult look at relations between Blacks and Whites, the poor and the rich, gay and straight people, and fused searing honesty with metaphorical beauty. After this experience, Shannon knew that she needed to read everything Baldwin had ever written, and also that she wanted to emulate his strategy of telling the most dangerous, and therefore liberating kind of truth, through writing.
High school was a time for tremendous growth for Shannon, as she had the opportunity to attend Community High, a place that nurtured independence and creativity. At Carnegie Mellon University, Shannon majored in Creative Writing and Spanish, graduating with highest honors in 1997. She was awarded their Alumni Study/Travel Award, and used it to travel to Ghana to collect information for a short story collection on relationships between African Americans and continental Africans.
At Indiana University’s Graduate Creative Writing Program, Shannon honed her understanding of the basic elements of story-writing. She was in Bloomington from 1999 to 2002, and earned an M.A. in 20th Century African American Literature, as well as her M.F.A. while she was there. As Indiana Review editor, she conceived of the literary journal’s first “Writers of Color” special issue, and brought it to fruition, also in 2002.
Shannon has called Minneapolis home since 2002. She moved there right after completing her graduate work at Indiana, and took a job at the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder, the state’s oldest Black newspaper. A three-year stint as managing editor of this 75-year-old publication introduced Shannon to the vibrant, growing, and diverse Black community in the Twin Cities, and also gave her vital insight into the inner-workings of a weekly newspaper. When she left in 2005, Shannon had written well over 100 news and features stories for the paper.
The Bush Artist Fellows Program took Shannon’s daily life in a new direction. In 2005, she was awarded a grant, which allowed her to quit her job at the Spokesman, and devote most of her time to her creative work.
After completing her Bush fellowhip in summer 2007, Shannon joined the faculty in English at Minneapolis Community and Technical College (MCTC) in the fall, and became Full-Time Unlimited (FTU) faculty there in 2009. She lives with her son Boisey, and daughter Marwein, in the Powderhorn neighborhood of South Minneapolis.
Shannon’s Young Adult (YA) novel SEE NO COLOR was published by Carolrhoda Lab, a division of Lerner Publications, in November, 2015, and subsequently won a 2016 Minnesota Book Award in the category of Literature for Young Adults. She was also awarded a $25,000 2015 McKnight Artist Fellowship for Writers, administered by the Loft Literary Center. She used the funds to support work on a family memoir, tentatively titled Love Across the Middle Passage: Making an African/African American Family.
Other publications this year include a short story in the Sky Blue Water anthology of children’s literature from Minnesota writers, the opening essay in the critically-acclaimed and popular A Good Time for the Truth: Race in Minnesota anthology, edited by Sun Yung Shin. The Star Tribune published an excerpt of Shannon’s essay “Fear of a Black Mother,” which you can read here.
In 2017, look for Shannon’s short story “Salvation,” in Eric Smith’s new anthology of adoption-
Shannon has loved to read and to write as far back as she can remember. When she was in second grade, she started making “books” about her family’s camping trips, and later graduated to a series on three sibling detectives in fourth grade.When she was 15, her father gave her James Baldwin’s Tell Me How Long the Train’s Been Gone, a book that changed her life and made her see the possibilities of the written word. The novel took a long, difficult look at relations between Blacks and Whites, the poor and the rich, gay and straight people, and fused searing honesty with metaphorical beauty. After this experience, Shannon knew that she needed to read everything Baldwin had ever written, and also that she wanted to emulate his strategy of telling the most dangerous, and therefore liberating kind of truth, through writing.
High school was a time for tremendous growth for Shannon, as she had the opportunity to attend Community High, a place that nurtured independence and creativity. At Carnegie Mellon University, Shannon majored in Creative Writing and Spanish, graduating with highest honors in 1997. She was awarded their Alumni Study/Travel Award, and used it to travel to Ghana to collect information for a short story collection on relationships between African Americans and continental Africans.
At Indiana University’s Graduate Creative Writing Program, Shannon honed her understanding of the basic elements of story-writing. She was in Bloomington from 1999 to 2002, and earned an M.A. in 20th Century African American Literature, as well as her M.F.A. while she was there. As Indiana Review editor, she conceived of the literary journal’s first “Writers of Color” special issue, and brought it to fruition, also in 2002.
Shannon has called Minneapolis home since 2002. She moved there right after completing her graduate work at Indiana, and took a job at the Minnesota Spokesman-Recorder, the state’s oldest Black newspaper. A three-year stint as managing editor of this 75-year-old publication introduced Shannon to the vibrant, growing, and diverse Black community in the Twin Cities, and also gave her vital insight into the inner-workings of a weekly newspaper. When she left in 2005, Shannon had written well over 100 news and features stories for the paper.
The Bush Artist Fellows Program took Shannon’s daily life in a new direction. In 2005, she was awarded a grant, which allowed her to quit her job at the Spokesman, and devote most of her time to her creative work.
After completing her Bush fellowhip in summer 2007, Shannon joined the faculty in English at Minneapolis Community and Technical College (MCTC) in the fall, and became Full-Time Unlimited (FTU) faculty there in 2009. She lives with her son Boisey, and daughter Marwein, in the Powderhorn neighborhood of South Minneapolis.
Shannon’s Young Adult (YA) novel SEE NO COLOR was published by Carolrhoda Lab, a division of Lerner Publications, in November, 2015, and subsequently won a 2016 Minnesota Book Award in the category of Literature for Young Adults. She was also awarded a $25,000 2015 McKnight Artist Fellowship for Writers, administered by the Loft Literary Center. She used the funds to support work on a family memoir, tentatively titled Love Across the Middle Passage: Making an African/African American Family.
Other publications this year include a short story in the Sky Blue Water anthology of children’s literature from Minnesota writers, the opening essay in the critically-acclaimed and popular A Good Time for the Truth: Race in Minnesota anthology, edited by Sun Yung Shin. The Star Tribune published an excerpt of Shannon’s essay “Fear of a Black Mother,” which you can read here.
In 2017, look for Shannon’s short story “Salvation,” in Eric Smith’s new anthology of adoption-
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 163 reviews
January 8, 2023
I have never read a book quite like The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be by Shannon Gibney (released Jan 10th). This "speculative memoir of transracial adoption" covers so much ground, content-wise and literature-wise, from memoir to fantasy to found documents to critical commentary and research. It's brilliant, emotional, accessible (if complex), and thoroughly entertaining. Gibney's previously two novels are wonderful; this book is mind-blowing. An early candidate for best book of the year!
January 12, 2023
This isn’t a book you just blow through (like what you might do with a light romcom). It’s a lot to process and think about. I had to reread parts to remind myself of timelines and people.
March 31, 2024
The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be is two or more intertwined stories: Shannon Gibney's story of growing up as a biracial adoptee, adopted by a white family, and her speculations about who she might have been if she had grown up as Erin Powers, raised by her white, neurotic, lesbian birthmother. Erin's speculations feel, here, as real as Shannon's story.
In Shannon and Erin's shared search for a more complete picture of their origins and who they are, their stories are occasionally connected by a mysterious portal. The portal feels like an awkward narrative device to me, even though I like some kinds of science fiction. Perhaps I don't like my "peas" (memoir) and "carrots" (sci fi) to touch on my plate.
Gibney documents her/their story with reproductions of her own adoption documents, letters and cards from her birthmother, family photographs, interviews, medical records from her cancer diagnosis, and brief essays on the absurdities of the adoptee experience – and supplements this with still other stories of "the girl who is not me, who might have been me, who is me" (p. 135).
The end result is fascinating, something that those of us who are white parents of biracial adoptees or friends of transracial adoptees should consider reading, contemplating, and discussing. Certainly, two pieces that come up repeatedly, especially but not only in her birthfamily, are the random and uninformed racism and other microaggressions that she experienced, and the patriarchal and colonial attitudes that society has about white adoptive parents and their brown, black, or yellow adoptive children.
In sum, The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be was occasionally frustrating, but it was also eye-opening, a worldview rarely discussed outside of the therapy room.
In Shannon and Erin's shared search for a more complete picture of their origins and who they are, their stories are occasionally connected by a mysterious portal. The portal feels like an awkward narrative device to me, even though I like some kinds of science fiction. Perhaps I don't like my "peas" (memoir) and "carrots" (sci fi) to touch on my plate.
Gibney documents her/their story with reproductions of her own adoption documents, letters and cards from her birthmother, family photographs, interviews, medical records from her cancer diagnosis, and brief essays on the absurdities of the adoptee experience – and supplements this with still other stories of "the girl who is not me, who might have been me, who is me" (p. 135).
The end result is fascinating, something that those of us who are white parents of biracial adoptees or friends of transracial adoptees should consider reading, contemplating, and discussing. Certainly, two pieces that come up repeatedly, especially but not only in her birthfamily, are the random and uninformed racism and other microaggressions that she experienced, and the patriarchal and colonial attitudes that society has about white adoptive parents and their brown, black, or yellow adoptive children.
In sum, The Girl I Am, Was, and Never Will Be was occasionally frustrating, but it was also eye-opening, a worldview rarely discussed outside of the therapy room.
February 18, 2023
English below.
Батьки авторки/героїні цієї книжки - мама ірландського походження і чорношкірий тато. Але вона про них дізналась уже в дорослому віці, оскільки після народження її вдочерила інша біла родина. Шеннон Гібні уже писала про свій досвід як transracial adoptee в іншій книжці, художній на автобіографічній основі, а тут елементи автобіографічності і вигадки поєднуються у менш конвенційний спосіб. Деякі частини - це спогади ліричної героїні про її дорослішання і пошук контактів з біологічними родичами, прямо-таки підкріплений сканами документів, записок, медичних довідок... а частина - це "спекулятивний мемуар" про те, як би життя ліричної героїні виглядало, якби її біологічна мати її не віддала. Переключення між цими пластами створює цікавий ефект і ставить більш питань (про ідентичність, самість, зумовленість контекстом, у якому зростаємо, тощо), ніж дає відповідей, словом, те, що література-література і має по-хорошому робити. Я останнім часом здебільшого читаю формульні історії, тому ця книжка була несподівано цікава своєю експериментальною формою і відсутністю наперед відомої жанрової арки, яка може відповідати очікуванням або їх руйнувати, але має бути (у формульних жанрах).
--
So, I grabbed this book from the new arrivals shelf in the YA section of my library... Which I think is a great miscategorization. The only thing that would suggest YA is that some of the chapters depict the protagonist as a child/teenager. Otherwise, it touches on quite "adult" topics such as surviving breast cancer. YA is also most often genre fiction, while this book is definitely not genre fiction, but "real, real" literature, being very experimental in form. And trust me on this, I wrote a whole dissertation on YA and genre fiction, and this distinction is not a proxy for "good vs. junk" when I say it. Just what expectations are aroused in a reader and whether they are fulfilled.
The form is super experimental: "A speculative memoir." The author was given up for adoption as a newborn and grew up in a middle-class white family. Shannon Gibney's story is intertwined with the story of Erin Powers - herself that would have been, had her birth mother kept the child. It is partly a documentary - the story of Shannon discovering her biological relatives as an adult supported by letters and bureaucratic paraphernalia of conducting the search - and partly highly speculative. That raises many questions about personal identity and character and the measure to which the context of our growing up defines our personality and values.
The title makes emphasis that this was a transracial adoption, which, of course, was a factor in her impossibility to blend in fully with the adopted family. But, interestingly, had she remained with her birth mother, she would still be the only black person in a white family (but in one with more racial prejudice), and she would still be looking to find missing pieces of information about her relatives (on her father's side).
Батьки авторки/героїні цієї книжки - мама ірландського походження і чорношкірий тато. Але вона про них дізналась уже в дорослому віці, оскільки після народження її вдочерила інша біла родина. Шеннон Гібні уже писала про свій досвід як transracial adoptee в іншій книжці, художній на автобіографічній основі, а тут елементи автобіографічності і вигадки поєднуються у менш конвенційний спосіб. Деякі частини - це спогади ліричної героїні про її дорослішання і пошук контактів з біологічними родичами, прямо-таки підкріплений сканами документів, записок, медичних довідок... а частина - це "спекулятивний мемуар" про те, як би життя ліричної героїні виглядало, якби її біологічна мати її не віддала. Переключення між цими пластами створює цікавий ефект і ставить більш питань (про ідентичність, самість, зумовленість контекстом, у якому зростаємо, тощо), ніж дає відповідей, словом, те, що література-література і має по-хорошому робити. Я останнім часом здебільшого читаю формульні історії, тому ця книжка була несподівано цікава своєю експериментальною формою і відсутністю наперед відомої жанрової арки, яка може відповідати очікуванням або їх руйнувати, але має бути (у формульних жанрах).
--
So, I grabbed this book from the new arrivals shelf in the YA section of my library... Which I think is a great miscategorization. The only thing that would suggest YA is that some of the chapters depict the protagonist as a child/teenager. Otherwise, it touches on quite "adult" topics such as surviving breast cancer. YA is also most often genre fiction, while this book is definitely not genre fiction, but "real, real" literature, being very experimental in form. And trust me on this, I wrote a whole dissertation on YA and genre fiction, and this distinction is not a proxy for "good vs. junk" when I say it. Just what expectations are aroused in a reader and whether they are fulfilled.
The form is super experimental: "A speculative memoir." The author was given up for adoption as a newborn and grew up in a middle-class white family. Shannon Gibney's story is intertwined with the story of Erin Powers - herself that would have been, had her birth mother kept the child. It is partly a documentary - the story of Shannon discovering her biological relatives as an adult supported by letters and bureaucratic paraphernalia of conducting the search - and partly highly speculative. That raises many questions about personal identity and character and the measure to which the context of our growing up defines our personality and values.
The title makes emphasis that this was a transracial adoption, which, of course, was a factor in her impossibility to blend in fully with the adopted family. But, interestingly, had she remained with her birth mother, she would still be the only black person in a white family (but in one with more racial prejudice), and she would still be looking to find missing pieces of information about her relatives (on her father's side).
August 22, 2023
4.5 // what a unique and interesting format! I really enjoyed the speculative/fantasy aspects of this memoir—I believe the expansiveness of this format gave Shannon the opportunity to further explain the desires & struggles of connecting with your birth parents as an adoptee (to those who haven’t gone through and don’t understand that experience)
March 13, 2023
I struggled with this one…the changes in perspective/focus weren’t clear for me with the audiobook & I did not appreciate the speculative aspects of it. I wanted more of a straightforward, raw portrayal. It never truly gripped me emotionally.
February 3, 2024
Speculative memoir. What a beautiful, thought-provoking, amazing book.
It made me think long and hard about choices I have made and what could have been, but also seeing insight into a perspective on adoption I would have never looked at before.
Severely under-reviewed, this book needs more love because it’s brilliant.
It made me think long and hard about choices I have made and what could have been, but also seeing insight into a perspective on adoption I would have never looked at before.
Severely under-reviewed, this book needs more love because it’s brilliant.
February 26, 2024
I was like "what is a speculative memoir?" and now I understand--it's both a memoir of her actual life as an adoptee and a fictional account of what she imagines her life might have been with her birth mother, plus some extra narrative twists. Wow. This is the kind of mind-widening book that will stay with me for a long time.
July 17, 2023
An excellent memoir about Shannon Gibney’s experience, both real and imagined, as a transracial adoptee. The use of real letters and documents from her life explains how the what was and what-ifs define and shape our lives, especially for those who were adopted
Read
January 11, 2023One of the reasons I wanted to read this book was because I want to read more about adoptees’ experiences. This book did not disappoint in the slightest.
This book takes a unique spin on sharing the author’s experience as an adoptee—she shares real-life examples while also sharing an alternate timeline that could’ve happened. At first, it totally tripped me up. I kept switching between which one was “real.” However, in a sense, they *could* both be very real. Who is to say that it isn’t?
Because of this, you have to pay attention to details or you will get lost. Just trust me. This isn’t a book you just blow through (like what you might do with a light romcom). It’s a lot to process and think about. I had to reread parts to remind myself of timelines and people.
This book 100% has inspired me to read more books about adoption.
What’s unique about this book is the artistic nature of the speculative fiction part and how it really expresses the complexity of the adoptee’s experience. I have to say that I’ve never read a book quite like this.
I think it will resonate with a lot of people who were adopted.
Thank you PenguinTeen and NetGalley for this eARC!
This book takes a unique spin on sharing the author’s experience as an adoptee—she shares real-life examples while also sharing an alternate timeline that could’ve happened. At first, it totally tripped me up. I kept switching between which one was “real.” However, in a sense, they *could* both be very real. Who is to say that it isn’t?
Because of this, you have to pay attention to details or you will get lost. Just trust me. This isn’t a book you just blow through (like what you might do with a light romcom). It’s a lot to process and think about. I had to reread parts to remind myself of timelines and people.
This book 100% has inspired me to read more books about adoption.
What’s unique about this book is the artistic nature of the speculative fiction part and how it really expresses the complexity of the adoptee’s experience. I have to say that I’ve never read a book quite like this.
I think it will resonate with a lot of people who were adopted.
Thank you PenguinTeen and NetGalley for this eARC!
March 20, 2024
This book left me wanting to hear more from Shannon/Erin. I appreciated the unique angle of the story, but it felt like more attention was paid to the intricacies of the sci-fi elements than Gibney’s own experience as an adopted person.
This book has received some critical acclaim and Gibney seems to be highly esteemed within the adoptee community, so maybe this is just a case of the book not clicking with me or me “not getting it.”
This book has received some critical acclaim and Gibney seems to be highly esteemed within the adoptee community, so maybe this is just a case of the book not clicking with me or me “not getting it.”
June 26, 2023
Probably a 3.5 but I'm rounding down. Interesting style, a mix of fiction and memoir. That made it a bit confusing for me at the beginning because I wasn't sure what was actually happening and what the point of that set up was. I do think it paid off in the end and I was integral to the storytelling.
January 24, 2024
Wonderfully done. I wanted to be sure I wasn’t unintentionally writing something too similar with my hybrid memoir, and got so much more. Really appreciate Gibney’s storytelling. A brilliant way to convey the blurred lines between fiction and reality of adoptee life.
March 26, 2023
[5 stars] A speculative memoir in which a transracial adult adoptee explores possible timelines for her life depending on where, how, and by whom she had been raised. I loved loved loved the creativity of this book. As an adoptee and sci fi fan, Shannon Gibney’s use of the multiverse was such a relatable translation of family reunion conversation, adoption research, and personal processing. The use of pronouns to reflect the dissociative nature of adoptee trauma was especially powerful. I really enjoyed the arc of paternal reconnection for its empathy and framing since it’s an aspect of the narrative absent (for various reasons) from many adoptee stories. This is a great book for adoptees searching for reflections of their own lives as well as those wanting to learn and understand the emotional and mental impacts of transracial adoption from an adoptee’s perspective. Be sure to check out the resources list at the end; I know or have read several of the items listed and agree that they’re worth checking out. Highly recommended for fans of imaginative multi-genre writing, readers who enjoy non-linear timelines and m ensemble casts, and anyone who wonders what would’ve happened if the storytelling power of Everything Everywhere All At Once had combined with the MCU ability to jump through a spiraling portal after Annie sang “Maybe” as she dreamt of her birth parents and their lives.
Goodreads Challenge 2023: 13/52
Dates Read: 3/20/23-3/24/23
Goodreads Challenge 2023: 13/52
Dates Read: 3/20/23-3/24/23
July 21, 2025
This book, composed of documents, interviews, reflections, and inventions of the past, tells the stories, as well as the possibilities, of what the author’s lived experience is and what it might have been on a different branch of the timeline. Growing up as a mixed-Black girl adopted by a loving White family, the author shares information about her search for her adopted family and invents a parallel story of the girl who she might have been if her birth mother had made a different choice. Her interviews with relatives, along with documents from her own life, combine to tell her truths, but also to support the worlds that she creates to fill in some of the family history that she is missing. It is an interesting book that looks at the meaning of family and the difficulties of reclaiming your identity after adoption.
January 11, 2024
4.5 stars
The author is clearly very talented, and the writing style and format of this book is really cool.
I will say though that this book was kind of confusing; I kept forgetting whether I was reading Shanon or Erin. And the wormhole thing was very confusing. I know the switching between first and third person has to have some sort of meaning behind it, but I couldn’t figure out what that was.
Also I really liked the part where she talks about her overactive imagination causing anxiety as a child because I was also like that!
The author is clearly very talented, and the writing style and format of this book is really cool.
I will say though that this book was kind of confusing; I kept forgetting whether I was reading Shanon or Erin. And the wormhole thing was very confusing. I know the switching between first and third person has to have some sort of meaning behind it, but I couldn’t figure out what that was.
Also I really liked the part where she talks about her overactive imagination causing anxiety as a child because I was also like that!
September 14, 2024
As an interracial intercountry adoptee , I enjoyed the story by a fellow adoptee. It was the first time I had read a time traveling book about an adoptee and for that I was super invested in it because it was relatable to the what ifs. If I could time travel where would I go ? If I could time travel would people recognize me? So many questions.
I did have to reread certain parts a few times to make sure I understood what timeline we were in, overall it was really good and I am happy to have read it. ❤️
I did have to reread certain parts a few times to make sure I understood what timeline we were in, overall it was really good and I am happy to have read it. ❤️
February 20, 2023
This creative speculative memoir provides a glimpse into an adoptees’ ghost kingdom, termed by the late adoptee activist and psychologist Betty Jean Lifton, PhD. The ghost kingdom is the place where the you that never was exists/existed. The secrecy in adoption leads many of us to fantasize about what would have, could have been. Shannon masterfully brings us down both paths - of her as Shannon and of her as the maybe-Erin who never was. I particularly loved the artifacts (documents) included in the book.
July 22, 2023
Not sure I loved this? But did appreciate the complexity of what the author is trying to do. Definitely try it out if you're looking for something different. A very unique way to consider the experience of a transracial adoptee, and full of great resources.
February 1, 2024
I think the audio format was the issue for me. The author used an intriguing method to convey her story, but the complexity of moving through the wormholes was hard to follow on the audiobook for me.
June 10, 2025
This was an interesting book. It was a good blend of memoir and speculative fiction. I wish it would have had more information and experiences about transracial adoptions.
July 29, 2023
Spectacular. A trip.
January 26, 2025
Enjoyable read that leaves a lasting impression and gifts many ponderings.
May 2, 2023
The memoir plays with the idea of alternate histories, and of what could have been if the author had not been adopted. One wonders how much of the idea of wormholes actually figured in her childhood education.
It’s unlike any memoir you’ve read.
It’s unlike any memoir you’ve read.
March 2, 2023
A very unique adult voice and very relatable in many parts.
January 2, 2023
Shannon Gibney is an award-winning author of books of all kinds — from novels to anthologies to essays to picture books. She writes for adults, children, and everyone in-between. The through-line in all her work is stories that may have previously gone untold. What God Is Honored Here: Writings on Miscarriage and Infant Loss by and for Native Women and Women of Color, an anthology published by the University of Minnesota Press, exemplifies this approach, as does Gibney’s most recent novel, Dream Country, which was published by Dutton in 2018. Her newest book, released by Dutton this month, is billed as a speculative memoir, the provocative title is THE GIRL I AM, WAS, AND NEVER WILL BE, A SPECULATIVE MEMOIR OF TRANSRACIAL ADOPTION.
Gibney writes that the only way for an adoptee to tell her story, is to embrace that there are no singular truths. There are, she says, no stories without holes. For Gibney, there were many holes. Adopted by a white family at birth, Gibney’s birth mother was Irish-American and she’d had a brief and tumultuous relationship with her African American birth father. As a mixed-Black transracial adoptee, Gibney decided that the best vehicle to tell her story was with two different timelines bridged by a mysterious portal. In one timeline, she is Erin Powers, the name her birth mother gave her. In another, she is Shannon Gibney, a transracial adoptee in search of information about her birth parents and her identity. The portal between these two lives is where Gibney meets her birth father, who passed away before she could meet him, when she was six years old.
The memoir is interspersed with letters, documents, photographs, medical records, and interviews. The facts of these are juxtaposed against a time-traveling Erin/Shannon who meets her father in the portal, if every so briefly. It is a longing made more real through facts provided by family members and her own ingenious imagination.
Along the way, Gibney reads books, listens to podcasts, watches films, and discovers websites and organizations that support adoptees and she shares these in a list of resources at the end of the book.
Transracial adoption is never tidy, and cannot be encapsulated in an individual story, but Gibney does a masterful job of helping the reader understand the complexities of identity and the machinations of the adoption industrial complex. A writer with courage and heart, Gibney lays bare her experience for the benefit of us all.
Listen to my interview with Shannon Gibney on January 26 at 7:00 pm and January 28 at 6:00 am on WTIP Radio 90.7 Grand Marais, or stream it from the web at www.wtip.org.
Gibney writes that the only way for an adoptee to tell her story, is to embrace that there are no singular truths. There are, she says, no stories without holes. For Gibney, there were many holes. Adopted by a white family at birth, Gibney’s birth mother was Irish-American and she’d had a brief and tumultuous relationship with her African American birth father. As a mixed-Black transracial adoptee, Gibney decided that the best vehicle to tell her story was with two different timelines bridged by a mysterious portal. In one timeline, she is Erin Powers, the name her birth mother gave her. In another, she is Shannon Gibney, a transracial adoptee in search of information about her birth parents and her identity. The portal between these two lives is where Gibney meets her birth father, who passed away before she could meet him, when she was six years old.
The memoir is interspersed with letters, documents, photographs, medical records, and interviews. The facts of these are juxtaposed against a time-traveling Erin/Shannon who meets her father in the portal, if every so briefly. It is a longing made more real through facts provided by family members and her own ingenious imagination.
Along the way, Gibney reads books, listens to podcasts, watches films, and discovers websites and organizations that support adoptees and she shares these in a list of resources at the end of the book.
Transracial adoption is never tidy, and cannot be encapsulated in an individual story, but Gibney does a masterful job of helping the reader understand the complexities of identity and the machinations of the adoption industrial complex. A writer with courage and heart, Gibney lays bare her experience for the benefit of us all.
Listen to my interview with Shannon Gibney on January 26 at 7:00 pm and January 28 at 6:00 am on WTIP Radio 90.7 Grand Marais, or stream it from the web at www.wtip.org.
March 4, 2023
Part memoir, part science fiction, THE GIRL I AM, WAS, AND NEVER WILL BE is an incredibly unique book that explores the thoughts and feelings of an adoptee, working to understand her identify. The story really delves into the question of what would have happened if Shannon had not been given up for adoption; what her life may have looked like.
Gibney creates a fictional story around Erin Powers, the name given to her at birth, which is told alongside the story of Shannon. As the two stories flow and intertwine, Gibney adds layers of science fiction to imagine the two girls knowing of each others existence as they live parallel lives.
I thought this was a really interesting way of exploring the identity of an adoptee and the questions that exist as you reconcile your life with an adopted family versus that of your biological family. It really shines a light on what it’s like for children and adults who have been adopted and how that impacts their identity.
The most powerful part of Gibney’s story is the way she reconciles the time she lost or never had with her biological family and the way she explores that type of loss through the world of science fiction.
Overall this was a really beautiful and compelling story. I loved how the author approached this book and really made it a unique story.
Gibney creates a fictional story around Erin Powers, the name given to her at birth, which is told alongside the story of Shannon. As the two stories flow and intertwine, Gibney adds layers of science fiction to imagine the two girls knowing of each others existence as they live parallel lives.
I thought this was a really interesting way of exploring the identity of an adoptee and the questions that exist as you reconcile your life with an adopted family versus that of your biological family. It really shines a light on what it’s like for children and adults who have been adopted and how that impacts their identity.
The most powerful part of Gibney’s story is the way she reconciles the time she lost or never had with her biological family and the way she explores that type of loss through the world of science fiction.
Overall this was a really beautiful and compelling story. I loved how the author approached this book and really made it a unique story.
January 13, 2024
Wow, this is a new contender for best book I've read this year. It took me a while to get through only because it was HITTING. The title (describing this as a "speculative memoir of transracial adoption") and cover piqued my interest and I'm so glad I picked this one up. The book alternates between the author's real memories as Shannon Gibney, adopted by Sue and Jim Gibney, and Erin Powers, the name (and life) she would have had if her biological mother hadn't given her up for adoption. It jumps timelines and is interspersed with real scans and photos from Shannon's life and journey into discovering her heritage. It's weird, raw, unflinching, and trippy as you alternate between realities and uncover fact and fiction as you go. Paragraphs will shift from third to first person in a way that would be jarring if it weren't so well done. Everything about the story is immersive and transporting. Even though I am not an adoptee, I found Shannon's journey and her explored "what if's" resonating with my own fraught and unknown origins and heritage. This is written for and targeted to a young adult audience, but it definitely has a mature appeal and weight. The end of the book features references to other materials on transracial adoption, many of which I added to my tbr. Highly highly recommend to anyone looking to read something weird that will slice you open and leave you with lots to think about.
July 19, 2023
DNF(Did not Finish): 40%
It wasn't bad but I had a really hard time following the story because of the writing style and the overall structure of the story. I was really confused for a majority of what I read. I am 100% not the correct audience for this book as I'm not an adoptee. To be honest, I am a little disappointed.
It wasn't bad but I had a really hard time following the story because of the writing style and the overall structure of the story. I was really confused for a majority of what I read. I am 100% not the correct audience for this book as I'm not an adoptee. To be honest, I am a little disappointed.
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