Tumbling After: Pedaling Like Crazy After Life Goes Downhill

by Susan Parker

“I think Ralph fell in love with the uphillness in me. I could keep up with him on windy passes and minor climbing peaks. But I never stayed with him on the downhill. He was always too fast. He’d wait patiently for me at the bottom of a black diamond run, at the end of a long, winding mountain road, or at the foot of a crag. He was happy when I could get to the bottom of anything. I wasn’t with him the day he had the accident that left him a C-4 quadriplegic. Perhaps it’s the uphillness in me that is keeping me with him now. It’s all uphill from here. No more downhills to carve through gracefully or sail down safely; only up, up, up.” —from the Introduction

Suzy Parker and her husband, Ralph Hager, spent every free moment together biking, skiing, and hiking. All that changed in a split second when a freak cycling accident left Ralph permanently paralyzed below the shoulders. In that moment, Suzy’s old life fell away and her new one began. In Tumbling After, Suzy chronicles her transformation from carefree outdoorswoman to full-time caregiver, and paints a loving portrait of the impromptu, oddball family of concerned neighbors and friends who become her new lifeline. With Jerry, the tender ex-con; Momma Scott, a guardian angel and force of nature in a feather boa; and Harka, the culture-shocked Nepalese, at their side, Suzy and Ralph weather the loss of old friends and learn to embrace a new way of life with hope and a healing dose of the absurd.

This astonishing memoir, devoid of self-pity and told with breathtaking candor and a wry sense of humor, is an inspiring journey that is ultimately a story of survival and second chances—and the unexpected joy and love that can grow out of grief if given the slightest encouragement.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction

304 pages, Hardcover

First published April 16, 2002

Reviews

[Joe · Rating 5 out of 5]

Some readers might find this story depressing, but I found it funny, inspirational, and wise - because it was such familiar territory. Like Susan Parker with her husband, my journey began in the same Highland Hospital Emergency Room in Oakland, California except that in my case the victim was my brother. What Susan quickly learned, as did I, is that there are two victims in these tragedies: the one receiving emergency treatment, and the other who has to cope with years of ongoing care. Susan - and I - were plunged into a chaotic world of unexpected kindness and unspeakable suffering. What makes the book so good is that she describes the third world underground subculture of caregivers and con men who you come to rely on, sometimes in a most intimate manner. Unlike Susan, I didn’t sleep with the help, but I respect her choice and admire her honesty. It's like an adventure in a foreign land. You come to know and love caregivers who are of entirely different cultures, backgrounds, world views, and attitudes toward the law. You learn total humility and sometimes lose all dignity. You cope. You laugh. You love. It's a great book without self-pity, astonishingly clear-eyed and direct.

[Sherry · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book was so easy to read, the pages turned themselves. I especially liked it because I know the author -- Suzy Parker was working at our climbing gym when we were climbing, and when all this was going on. She mentioned other people that we knew in the text, and places we know and go, too, so it was nice to have that local perspective.

The book is about how her life changed after her husband crashed in a bicycle accident and became a quadriplegic. Also a good book to read when your ankle is in a cast, because it puts things in perspective.

[Laura Walker · Rating 4 out of 5]

The story line sounds depressing—woman cares for husband rendered paraplegic after a cycling accident—but it is told with humor. She finds a new village of neighbors and caretakers to assist with daily tasks. A motley assortment of characters. There are plenty of struggles with expenses and health issues, but life goes on. The husband’s character is not the center of the story and at times, he almost seems like a piece of furniture in the background, but occasionally, the author focuses on him.

[Jean · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of my favorite books. Honest, funny, real, heartbreaking. If I were as brave, smart, and witty as Susan Parker, I would write every single day of my life.

[Mary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Since I read this a while ago, here is an overview from the Amazon site. I found this book amazing, because the woman was so honest about what it was like.

“I think Ralph fell in love with the uphillness in me. I could keep up with him on windy passes and minor climbing peaks. But I never stayed with him on the downhill. He was always too fast. He’d wait patiently for me at the bottom of a black diamond run, at the end of a long, winding mountain road, or at the foot of a crag. He was happy when I could get to the bottom of anything. I wasn’t with him the day he had the accident that left him a C-4 quadriplegic. Perhaps it’s the uphillness in me that is keeping me with him now. It’s all uphill from here. No more downhills to carve through gracefully or sail down safely; only up, up, up.” —from the Introduction

Suzy Parker and her husband, Ralph Hager, spent every free moment together biking, skiing, and hiking. All that changed in a split second when a freak cycling accident left Ralph permanently paralyzed below the shoulders. In that moment, Suzy’s old life fell away and her new one began. In Tumbling After, Suzy chronicles her transformation from carefree outdoorswoman to full-time caregiver, and paints a loving portrait of the impromptu, oddball family of concerned neighbors and friends who become her new lifeline. With Jerry, the tender ex-con; Momma Scott, a guardian angel and force of nature in a feather boa; and Harka, the culture-shocked Nepalese, at their side, Suzy and Ralph weather the loss of old friends and learn to embrace a new way of life with hope and a healing dose of the absurd.

This astonishing memoir, devoid of self-pity and told with breathtaking candor and a wry sense of humor, is an inspiring journey that is ultimately a story of survival and second chances—and the unexpected joy and love that can grow out of grief if given the slightest encouragement.

[Susan · Rating 3 out of 5]

Blunt, honest story of a local woman whose husband becomes quadriplegic.
Written in a choppy style, like short vignettes. I know this is from her perspective, but I found it seemed like her relationship with her husband disappeared after the accident. We learn a lot about home aides and neighbors.

[Chelsea · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a joy this book was. I will recommend this book to everyone. Susan Parker wrote this memoir with humor and with honesty. A GoodRead!!!

[Karen · Rating 4 out of 5]

wow. wow. wow. Brutally honest account of a very unexpected change of life. Candid to the last page. Not the Disney version of handling a tragic accident for sure.

[Laura · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is so honest and truthful....and you cannot put it down.

[Shadoh · Rating 4 out of 5]

unique story, not so unique event. surprisingly good and original.