"You Just Need to Lose Weight": And 19 Other Myths About Fat People

Myths Made in America

by Aubrey Gordon

A NEW YORK TIMES BESTSELLER
AN INDIE BESTSELLER

“One of the great thinkers of our generation . . . I feel fresher and smarter and happier for sitting down with her.”—Jameela Jamil, iWeigh Podcast

The co-host of the Maintenance Phase podcast and creator of Your Fat Friend equips you with the facts to debunk common anti-fat myths and with tools to take action for fat justice

The pushback that shows up in conversations about fat justice takes exceedingly predicable form. Losing weight is easy—calories in, calories out. Fat people are unhealthy. We’re in the midst of an obesity epidemic. Fat acceptance “glorifies obesity.” The BMI is an objective measure of size and health. Yet, these myths are as readily debunked as they are pervasive.

In “You Just Need to Lose Weight,” Aubrey Gordon equips readers with the facts and figures to reframe myths about fatness in order to dismantle the anti-fat bias ingrained in how we think about and treat fat people. Bringing her dozen years of community organizing and training to bear, Gordon shares the rhetorical approaches she and other organizers employ to not only counter these pernicious myths, but to dismantle the anti-fat bias that so often underpin them.

As conversations about fat acceptance and fat justice continue to grow, “You Just Need to Lose Weight” will be essential to ensure that those conversations are informed, effective, and grounded in both research and history.

Genres: Nonfiction, Audiobook, Health, Social Justice, Feminism, Essays, Science

228 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 10, 2023

About the author

Aubrey Gordon is an American writer, columnist and podcaster, best known under the pseudonym, "Your Fat Friend".

She is a columnist for Self magazine, a co-host of the podcast "Maintenance Phase".

Reviews

[Candace · Rating 5 out of 5]

I would like to buy a copy of this book for everyone I know and maybe put a copy in every hotel room drawer just like the Gideons do for the New Testament.

[destiny ♡ howling libraries]

DNF @ 24%

"You Just Need to Lose Weight" is a valuable resource that has a lot to offer for the right audience — most notably, people who want to learn how to fight anti-fatness from ground zero.

As someone who has dealt with this in my own life and the lives of my loved ones since I was born, I didn't feel like I was gaining anything except the feeling of being generally miserable because the entire book up to my stopping point was such a painfully honest reminder of how so many people view fat bodies (and even "average" bodies in many countries).

Great book for a lot of people, just way too high-risk/low-reward for me with the impact this author's blunt prose had on my mental health.

Thank you to the publisher for the review copy! All thoughts are honest and my own.

✨ Representation: the author takes care to discuss the impacts of anti-fatness on BIPOC fat individuals as well as using trans-inclusive terms.

✨ Content warnings for: graphic anti-fatness, medical trauma, mentions of fat children being removed from families due to their fatness, mentions of racism

———
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[Traci Thomas · Rating 4 out of 5]

Really good work on anti fat discrimination. Detailed and organized in a very clear effective way. For both fat and thin people. A really commitment to intersectionality and activism. Only drawback is that it got redundant by the end.

[Tom Johnson · Rating 1 out of 5]

Aubrey’s heart is in the right place wanting to fight against anti-fat bias, but her lack of formal training in science and logic are quite apparent. She sets up straw man arguments then cherry picks the evidence to knock them down. This book preaches to the choir of people who experience and resent anti-fat bias by making one sided arguments that often skirt important truths. It is unconvincing to those who don’t already share her beliefs.

[Dean Malenko · Rating 1 out of 5]

The fact is that this book is absolutely full of cherry-picked half-truths, equivocations, and outright lies. If you'd like a full and complete rebuttal, check out the 1 and 2-star reviews of the author's other book (I could just copy and paste). These reviews also contain nods to the times the author makes a good point, to be fair. This is enabling of harmful behavior, denial of facts, and embracing victimhood status as a weird power play. And a good deal of it is couched in terms of gender and sexual identity, lending a threatening air to anyone who dares criticize (or at the very least, dismissing them as being phobic). That is a lazy rhetorical play, and it's unfortunate that an honest discussion can't be had here, because there are outlets and places of information that exist to help folks who can handle the truth. Just a tidbit if you don't want to go over to the other reviews: you can't deny the law of thermodynamics (calories in, calories out), even if you shout and point at how mean and unjust it all seems, or how people talk down to you when explaining it. The FACT is that if you take in more energy (calories) than you burn, you will gain weight, and vice versa. There's no logical leap around this, no other way to frame it.
There's a lot of misinformation out there on both sides, and that is extremely unfortunate. If someone tries to change the argument and misconstrue facts, they are contributing to that misinformation.

[Nathan Shuherk · Rating 4 out of 5]

A very good exploration of ideas, but that doesn’t feel like a book. It’s a slightly disjointed series of posts that too often overlap each other, but for those new to the topic, would still be incredibly insightful and helpful to read.

[Lisa Vegan · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is structured almost like a textbook for a class or a seminar. There are lists/exercises on which to reflect at the end of most of the chapters. There is an extensive notes section. The book proper is enjoyable to read and not at all dry despite it being able to function as a textbook.

The author suggests extensive reading on this subject and mentions many other books to read. I appreciate all the other resources on the subject that the author provides.

The 20 Myths written about in this book: Being fat is a choice. Any fat person can become thin. Parents are responsible for their child’s weight. Thin people should help fat people lose weight. Weight loss is the result of healthy choices and should be celebrated. Obesity is the leading cause of death in the U.S. The BMI is an objective measure of size and health. Doctors are unbiased judges of fat people’s health. Fat people are emotionally damaged and cope by “eating their feelings.” Accepting fat people glorifies obesity. Body positivity is about feeling better about yourself as long as you’re happy and healthy. We’re in the middle of an obesity epidemic. Fat people don’t experience discrimination. I don’t like gaining weight but I don’t treat fat people differently. Fat people shouldn’t call themselves fat. People who have never been fat have internalized fatphobia. No one is attracted to fat people and anyone who is has a fat fetish. Fat people should pay for a second airline seat. Skinny shaming is just as bad as fat shaming. Anti-fatness is the last socially acceptable form of discrimination.

https://implicit.harvard.edu/implicit... This site is listed for testing implicit biases and there are a list of issues and a list of questions for each one. I plan to take most of them.

I’ve watched only part of this video so far. It’s the author doing an interview as part of her tour for this book: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=v-qlR...

I simultaneously read a Kindle e-book and listened to an audiobook. It was read by the author and she did a great job with the narration.

I found the book very thought-provoking. As I read, my mind felt stretched, in a good way. I think it’s an important book. I got a lot out of reading it and I think (or at least hope) that most other readers will feel the same way.

I think that every doctor & health professional should be required to read this book. For that matter, I think that everyone, no matter what their size, should read this book. EVERY MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL! EVERY ONE!

5 full stars.

[Beth Menendez · Rating 5 out of 5]

Yep, I’m an unapologetic Aubrey Gordon fan. Read this book for a lot of reasons- read it to support your friends, your family, that coworker who cracks you up. Read it to learn more about how the numbers and catch phrases we bandy about maybe aren’t so accurate. That those “ideals” we think we should uphold are really made out of straw. Read it to realize that every body is it’s own beautiful creation. Love love love this book

[Sunny Lu · Rating 4 out of 5]

Simple, effective, necessary

[CaseyTheCanadianLesbrarian · Rating 4 out of 5]

I learned a ton from this book and throught the author narration in the audiobook was excellent! (No surprise since Aubrey Gordon is a podcaster and I also happen to find her voice sexy).

I did find it a bit repetitive, which I think is the nature of all of these myths and tackling a big topic like anti-fatness in this structure, because of course information that Gordon used to dispel one myth is also relevant to others.

I'm off to read some of her recommendations for other books on fat acceptance and anti-fatphobia.

[Lynda Lippin · Rating 2 out of 5]

As a woman who has struggled with weight for decades, and as a well-known fitness professional, I have seen the dirty side of diet culture. However, I don't lie to myself about the negative health effects of too much body fat. It's not sustainable. There are many compassionate coaches out there who actually focus on health and longevity, and not on shaming.

[Jenny Del toro · Rating 1 out of 5]

Delusional

[Chapters & Chives · Rating 5 out of 5]

Well-researched and informative text. I’m making my way through texts in this genre to learn more about how weight and appearance have been looked at through the centuries and why. Some highlights - BMI originally wasn’t even created to measure health from weight, most health averages and indexes since the 90s were created from info of white men, and many more!

Learning this history of the roots of fat-phobia and disgust for heavier-set bodies in our current society is eye-opening to me. It is significantly helping me in my own personal journey to finally love myself and my body. My value and worth cannot be based solely on how thin I am, or how well I can conform for a patriarchal ideal appearance for a woman. I am exhausted from constantly failing in being thin like I used to be and in the self-hatred and frustration for my body that I’ve been brainwashed into believing by society, social media, and the film industry. Books like this one are helping me become free of fat-phobia against my own self and to come to a place of love and care for myself, and to hopefully help others in this journey too!

What society has led us to believe about appearance and weight is all a lie. It’s man-made and isn’t reality for most women, and even men. Please take care and know that you are beautiful and VALUABLE as your own unique self, no matter your size!!

[Kaethe · Rating 5 out of 5]

"A diet is a cure that doesn't work for a disease that doesn't exist." - The Fat Underground

The Maintenance Phase podcast that Gordon does with Michael Hobbs was recommended to me pretty recently and I got hooked immediately. They're both funny and they choose bizarre bits of history to share. I don't listen, though, I read the transcripts because I am weird like that.

Gordon's experience in community organizing runs shows all over: she offers ways to learn more, to examine our experiences and history and she offers lots of suggestions from the personal, through the public, into the political. She is also impassioned, but without all the research or rhe practical grounding it wouldn't be such a great book. We should all be so fortunate as to have her as our fat friend.

Highly recommended.

Library copy

[Sierra · Rating 1 out of 5]

Boring and whiny. If you want a book full of excuses as to why people are fat, should stay fat, and need pity and special accommodations for being fat. Then read this!

[Jessica - How Jessica Reads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Not as funny or profane as Maintenance Phase; but Gordon's voice still clearly resonates.

Each chapter includes a fat-related myth that is carefully debunked, and then ends with reflection questions and action steps, making You Just Need to Lose Weight an excellent tool for those working to end anti-fat bias.

[K · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book is pretty entry level and good for people who aren't politicized around issues of fatness. But the action items were often redundant, and very basic such as "read this book" over and over again. It would have been great to actually have tangible steps that can help fat people and non fat people build power towards ending anti fatness. But since they weren't, they kind of fell flat and made the book suffer as a whole

[Shirl Kennedy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Picked this up to more deeply examine my own prejudices, but it was a little too black-and-white for me. This book labels you as either fat or thin. While I am not obese, I don't think anyone would look at me and call me thin. I'm a shortish woman with a muscular build. The author is absolutely right that BMI as a indicator of health/fitness is total crap. This alone has launched God-knows-how-many eating disorders, especially...we are learning...now in the military. I kept searching for nuance in this book and found none. Could not go on.

[Bethany (Beautifully Bookish Bethany) · Rating 5 out of 5]

A really thoughtful and useful primer on anti-fat bias, widespread misconceptions, and the ways that these things impact people living in larger bodies. It's interesting reading this now when ozempic is being hailed as a panacea of sorts, despite its limitations and cost. Living in a society that so often hates and publicly denounces fatness, it can be a hard pill to swallow that there has never been a safe method of weight loss that allows most people to lose significant amounts of weights and keep it off for more than a year or two.

And if anything, weight-cycling is hard on your body and decimates your metabolism, making it even more difficult. As someone who did at one point lose a dramatic amount of weight (complete with somewhat disordered eating and feeling far less good in my skin than I do now) only to gain it back and then some with pregnancy and life, I wish I had access to this information much earlier. Lifestyle changes such as a nutrient dense diet and exercise (for people for whom those things are accessible) can have a significant impact on health outcomes, regardless of whether they lead to weight loss. AND people who cannot engage in those things, due to disability, poverty etc. still deserve basic respect and human decency.

While I've been reading and thinking about these topics for years, this book was still helpful for confronting some of my remaining internal biases. For example, the author highlights how some fat people will feel superior to others because they are happy and healthy and engage in healthful behaviors. That is something I've been guilty of and as the author says, it is ableist. We tend to place ourselves in these hierarchies, which is sort of messed up. At the same time, it's frustrating that the dialogue around fatness is that it's a result of eating junk and not exercising. That is often not the case, but also being able to do healthy behaviors shouldn't be a prerequisite for fair treatment and respect. I recommend reading Sabrina Strings Fearing the Black Body which talks about the racist and eugenicist origins of anti-fat bias and the BMI.

[Nancy · Rating 1 out of 5]

Absolute trash. A whole book of entitled whining, a whole lot of manipulation, and gross contradictions.

[Kara Babcock · Rating 4 out of 5]

Embodiment is so strange. We all have bodies, but we don’t all have the same body. Some bodies are judged more than others. In “You Just Need to Lose Weight”: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People, Aubrey Gordon debunks twenty prevalent anti-fatness myths. Anti-fat bias is consistently the only form of discrimination that has increased over the past decades (other types have decreased or stayed roughly the same), and sometimes it is so pervasive that we don’t even realize we are engaging in it.

Gordon, a white fat woman and cohost of the podcast Maintenance Phase, organizes her myth-busting into four parts: “Being Fat Is a Choice,” “But What About Your Health?,” “Fat Acceptance Glorifies Obesity,” and “Fat People Should….” She makes it clear that this book is an introductory guide aimed at thin readers like myself and designed to get us thinking about our implicit biases and the systemic biases of society. Most chapters include calls to action at the end: concrete steps someone can take to challenge the discrimination described in that chapter.

Some of these myths I had already heard debunked, many from a longread written by Michael Hobbes, Gordon’s podcast cohost, in The Huffington Post called “Everything You Know About Obesity Is Wrong.”. I already knew that being fat is not a choice, that exercise is not usually an effective way to lose weight, that there are many factors—some genetic or epigenetic—that contribute to weight gain. I knew the BMI is racist and anti-fat bullshit. Nevertheless, it was good to refresh myself and to hear about more of the science (or questionable science, in the case of studies that supposedly validate anti-fatness).

I’ve long wondered how to take action against anti-fatness with what power I have as a thin person and an educator. Once upon a time, a student of mine chose to write a research essay all about the obesity epidemic. She tried to argue that fat acceptance is unhealthy. I remember being so uncomfortable reading it, but I also wasn’t sure how to challenge the student effectively. How do I speak up on an issue with which I have so little experience? Then again, I challenge students who inadvertently share racist myths all the time—why should this be different? So reading “You Just Need to Lose Weight” is important to me professionally as well as personally.

On a personal note, there are connections I made while reading between Gordon’s discussion of body acceptance and my own journey in my thirties with transition. Even as my dysphoria decreases, I find myself surprisingly vulnerable to the anti-fat messages our society targets all women with. I find myself far more concerned about, obsessing over, my weight and my body shape than I did pre-transition. I won’t equate this to the struggles of fat people (especially fat trans women), for that would put me into Myth Nineteen territory—but I wanted to share for a moment the connections I was making to my own experiences. What I took from this was how, like any liberation in our society, challenging anti-fatness “lifts all boats.” It helps thin people as well as fat people—and I am not saying that’s why we should do it; obviously we should challenge anti-fatness simply because it’s the right thing to do. But I think it is important to note that anti-fatness shares its roots with anti-transness, anti-Blackness, etc.: white supremacist and patriarchal desires to control people’s bodies, particularly the bodies of people who aren’t white men.

For that reason, I’m pleased that Gordon’s thesis trends more towards the systemic rather than the individual. Her points at the end of each chapter are individual actions (because that’s all we can do as individual readers). Yet her aims are social and systemic. This isn’t just about being “nicer” to fat people or more tolerant. This is about moving the fucking needle, about dismantling the systems that make it hard and expensive for fat people to fly or find clothing, the medical biases that prevent fat people from receiving dignified care.

This slim volume packs more of a punch than you would expect, and I highly recommend every thin person reads it. I love how careful and inclusive it is when talking about gender, race, and disability. I love how focused and organized it is. I love how Gordon doesn’t coddle the reader, challenging us while simultaneously—I hope—motivating us to do better. This is a book that should make a difference.

Originally posted on Kara.Reviews.

[pugs · Rating 2 out of 5]

up front: 'what we don't talk about when we talk about fat' is one of the best books on the topic of being fat in america, it hits deeply and is well told, good job at raising empathy. 'you just need to lose weight' however is a catchall effort that comes off more concerned about not being offensive than straight facts. i get not wanting to sound like a medical journal, but the extensive prefacing and repetition of - it's not me, it's you - dialogue feels like a tremendous amount of filler. i get wanting to be thorough, but reads like a tumblr master post. it feels like a lot of reference pulls but not diving deeper, not interviewing people who ran or participated in studies. a lot of survey statistics, very white/western focused. my main criticism is the complete lack of linking anti-fatness to capitalism, it's often a list of complaints and a loose wish list of things that would make life better for fat people (that is, anecdotally, which i typically agree with, but could be fleshed out more). there's a general anger at industries and society that push for thin privilege, but it all feels like a rather empty, idealistic attack-- even the word attack is too strong, neglecting the root cause, a white supremacist, patriarchal capitalism. gordon mentions 'fearing the black body' a lot, to the point where 'you just need to lose weight' feels like a watered down version. 'fearing the black body' meanwhile is indeed one of the best books written in general, and always the first i recommend for covering sexist, racist, and anti-fat ideologies. unless your fight for fat rights and revolutionizing the way we comprehend fatness is anti-capitalist, it's a losing effort, if not counterproductive. gordon is an important voice, so it's hard to criticize her work, but the organization and argumentation of the material was amiss. read or re-read 'fearing the black body' instead.

[Sasha · Rating 4 out of 5]

Everything I signed up for! Concise, thorough, nuanced, and accessible takedowns of anti-fat sentiments that have been repeated so much that many of us take them as fact. I will definitely be returning to this as a resource for interrupting anti-fatness.

[January]

“You Just Need to Lose Weight”: And 19 Other Myths About Fat People by Aubrey Gordon
7h 11m narrated by the author, 224 pages

Genre: Nonfiction, Feminism, Health, Essays, Science, Social Justice, Mental Health, Adult, Self Help, Self-Improvement, Sociology

Featuring: Anti-Fat Myths and Biases, Suggested Reading, Opportunities For Action, Fat Activism, List of Terms, Diet Culture,

Rating as a movie: PG-13

My rating: DNF @ 17% 1:13:04 15 minutes into Myth 2- Any fat person can become thin if they try hard enough. It's just a matter of 'calories in, calories out."

My thoughts: 📱14% 58:34 Myth 2- Any fat person can become thin if they try hard enough. It's just a matter of 'calories in, calories out." - Oh, boy! This is going to take a while. It comes off very preachy and the narration sounds like the author is yelling at you.
📱17% 1:13:04 15 minutes into Myth 2- Any fat person can become thin if they try hard enough. It's just a matter of 'calories in, calories out." - I'm done with this rant.

Why I quit: I wanted to like this book but I don't think I'll get much out of it. So far it is more about the author's personal issues than the topic at hand. She's very passionate about this topic but her passion comes off as aggressive speech and I'm not doing hours of her yelling at me. I don't relate to this topic on that level, I breezed over the myths and no thank you based on the explanations of the first two.

Recommend to others?: Honestly no. This story seems very personalized and less about enlightening people and more about sharing a personal agenda disguised as understanding a group.

[Leah]

does a great job of explaining anti-fatness as a systemic issue instead of just an interpersonal one. if you listen to maintenance phase already, it covers many of the same topics. aubrey has such a nice voice I like listening to it :)

[Becca Boland · Rating 5 out of 5]

Please read this book. Please.

[max theodore · Rating 4 out of 5]

we know i'm an aubrey gordon stan forever, right? we know that, right? gordon is one of the first authors i personally have read who discusses antifatness, and she does so with frankness and ease and a perfect blend of scientific research & discussion of her own experiences as a fat woman. every time i read her writing, i'm blown away by how much research there is that disproves common fatphobic myths, and how eloquent and persistent she is in laying that research out and fighting back.

personally, i think i prefer her first book, probably because the formatting there (long chapters dissecting various aspects of fat experiences and antifatness) engaged me more than the formatting here (this is a handbook of short chapters, each debunking specific antifat myths, plus actionable steps/reflection questions). because of the overlap inherent in a lot of antifat myths (ex. "we're in an obesity epidemic" and "thousands of people die of obesity each year," which are analyzed differently but similar in subject), this book sometimes bordered on repetitive. but honestly i still think literally everyone in the world should read this, so there we are.

[Jessica McSweeney · Rating 5 out of 5]

I highly recommend this book to everyone, but most especially to people who consider themselves social justice-minded and who haven’t had the chance to really unpack their own anti-fat bias yet.

I wish someone had handed me this book anytime between the ages of 16-29 — I was deep in my own ED and body dysmorphic disorder, and was causing harm left and right. Aubrey does a really wonderful job of not only making this information digestible (I’d say definitely moreso than her last book given the chapter breakdowns) but also the tough, compassionate love people who are not superfat need to hear. The reflection questions at the end of each chapter are wonderful, too.

For people who’ve done a ton of work around fat activism, I don’t think you’ll necessarily learn anything new, but it never hurts to have the refresher and to feel seen by Aubrey’s words. I both picked up a new book rec from her as well as solidified some of my feelings around the body positive movement’s centering of thin, white bodies while reading this, and think anyone will find something valuable. For people who’ve never really touched this work in a big way, prepare to have a lot of things challenged — in the best way. ❤️

[K. · Rating 4 out of 5]

Trigger warnings: fatphobia, body shaming, eating disorder, transphobia, racism, classism

3.5 stars

I am a huge fan of Maintenance Phase, so I was really excited to read this because I love Aubrey Gordon and the way she talks about diet culture and fatness on the podcast.

And I did like the way that this discussed a variety of myths about fatness and weight stigma, but there were times when it felt repetitive and a little too surface-level. I think in part it's the length - it's only 230 pages including references and footnotes and it covers 20 different myths, so that doesn't allow a lot of time to discuss each one especially if you're going to include questions to think about and ways to challenge behaviour that you witness.

Ultimately, it felt a little...impersonal? It's a lot of facts and figures to support Gordon's arguments and while I appreciate WHY it was the way that it was, I feel like fewer myths or a larger page count would have made this a more engaging reading experience for me.

That being said, some of the discussion around family members "just trying to help" with their fatphobic comments hit a little closer to home than I thought they would...

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is a nice, brisk introduction to a lot of the myths that are constantly repeated about fatness and fat people. It won't be revelatory (or even very new) to people who are familiar with Gordon's work--a lot of this is straight from episodes of Maintenance Phase--but it's a lot shorter than listening to many hours of the podcast! So it's good that it exists, and a worthwhile read for people who are deciding to educate themselves a bit.

Gordon does frame this as social justice work and part of the larger project of dismantling oppressive systems, which I largely agree with, but it does mean that it won't be as effective if you're just trying to convince your sister to stop telling you to lose weight. On the other hand, I'm not sure it's possible to deal with many of the issues without working in this framework, since even many of the scientific issues stem directly from anti-fat prejudice.