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Nevertold: The Son
A rare male born to a hidden tribe begins a journey destined to branch into an intricate epic in the sprawling fantasy world of Nevold.
The beast-like Valkys, great in number and with innate magical abilities, were unable to stand against the Children of Man’s artificial perversion of the world’s energy. After the tireless wars ended, a tentative peace settled over Nevold. Now, scattered to the far reaches, many beasts try to scrape out a living, but none so unique as the Manyari, creatures that exist from a forgotten union of Man and Valkys, not fully of both and without either side accepting them as their own.
But today, one tribe of Manyari has reason to celebrate. A rarely seen male has been born. Raised in his remote village of Orahai, Kemahni is unknowingly held captive by his sisters and mothers to be used for their continued salvation. His chosen guardian, Ashava, along with her companion, Tahdwi, fight to keep him safe, despite him vying to live his own life. His birth mother, Saleal, watches him grow, hiding the secrets of his true purpose and nature, while finding it increasingly difficult to fulfill her duty.
When Kemahni's friend Kiyadeh returns home after years away, trained but rattled by the outside world, he is unprepared for her arrival or what she asks of him. Few know his true purpose, and when the truth is revealed, a choice must be made between freedom and duty.
The beast-like Valkys, great in number and with innate magical abilities, were unable to stand against the Children of Man’s artificial perversion of the world’s energy. After the tireless wars ended, a tentative peace settled over Nevold. Now, scattered to the far reaches, many beasts try to scrape out a living, but none so unique as the Manyari, creatures that exist from a forgotten union of Man and Valkys, not fully of both and without either side accepting them as their own.
But today, one tribe of Manyari has reason to celebrate. A rarely seen male has been born. Raised in his remote village of Orahai, Kemahni is unknowingly held captive by his sisters and mothers to be used for their continued salvation. His chosen guardian, Ashava, along with her companion, Tahdwi, fight to keep him safe, despite him vying to live his own life. His birth mother, Saleal, watches him grow, hiding the secrets of his true purpose and nature, while finding it increasingly difficult to fulfill her duty.
When Kemahni's friend Kiyadeh returns home after years away, trained but rattled by the outside world, he is unprepared for her arrival or what she asks of him. Few know his true purpose, and when the truth is revealed, a choice must be made between freedom and duty.
235 pages, Kindle Edition
Published July 20, 2022
About the author
M. R. Moraine
5 books8 followersM. R. Moraine has never thought of himself as a writer, just an adult with a runaway imagination.
Influenced by movies and video games alike, he enjoys dreaming big with his stories. Nevertold: Ascend brings the world of Nevold to life, hoping to captivate readers of all kinds. With his wife and two cats, he aims to create small but meaningful changes in the world, keeping it alive through stories he hopes you will love and share.
Influenced by movies and video games alike, he enjoys dreaming big with his stories. Nevertold: Ascend brings the world of Nevold to life, hoping to captivate readers of all kinds. With his wife and two cats, he aims to create small but meaningful changes in the world, keeping it alive through stories he hopes you will love and share.
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Displaying 1 - 7 of 7 reviews
November 21, 2023
The story M. R. Moraine has started in this book is so promising. The characters are believable and the world building has a great foundation. I enjoyed the magic system the author has created. It's interesting and different than what we get in most fantasy books.
I like how we get some LGBTQ+ representation in the story. Too many authors write about all female villages/communities, but don't utilize any LGBTQ+ themes.
The story could have used another round of editing to catch the grammatical errors (personally it took me out of the story), and to polish up the big fight scene towards the end.
Overall, I really enjoyed "Nevertold: The Son" and I can't wait to read the next one!
I like how we get some LGBTQ+ representation in the story. Too many authors write about all female villages/communities, but don't utilize any LGBTQ+ themes.
The story could have used another round of editing to catch the grammatical errors (personally it took me out of the story), and to polish up the big fight scene towards the end.
Overall, I really enjoyed "Nevertold: The Son" and I can't wait to read the next one!
July 1, 2025
As a fellow writer, I believe it would be a disservice to the author to withhold my thoughts and criticisms of his work. Doubly so, because we have met and encouraged each other in our respective writing pursuits at VGMCon over the past few years. Sorry I hadn't gotten to The Son sooner, but now I can finally say I have read it, and will be starting book 2 very soon. Now for my thoughts...
I'll begin with the positive. The setting of this world has a lot of promise. The Manyari as a species are visually interesting as a humanoid race with scales, horns, and long, flexible ears. It's a breath of fresh air to have a lead cast be something a bit different than the standard human, elf, dwarf, etc. in a fantasy setting like this. I hope book 2 goes even further in setting them apart from the usual human types in movement and utility.
I also like what we have of the magic system, or yarik, in this world so far. While naturally, it is a means of giving weapons like spears and daggers a means of having mystical properties with the use of stones imbued with yarik; I especially liked the creative uses the Manyari have for them in everyday life. There's a scene with two characters fishing, and instead of carrying their bait in a bucket, they use a yarik stone to form a ball of water that stores their bait and their catch of the day on the way back. Such a simple thing, but it helps establish that this magic is a part of this world.
Now, before I begin my criticisms, I want to be clear that this is intended to be constructive feedback. It is far easier to point out flaws or mistakes in someone else's work than it is with your own. And I want to see Moraine continue to learn and grow as a writer. This world has potential and I hope to see it realized.
I'll start with the technical stuff. There were a lot of typos. The author is aware and I'm confident book 2 will have far fewer of them. But also, I found some parts a bit meandering at times. The use of overly flowery language got distracting at times as well. Sometimes less is more, though there are certainly cases to be made for more color in the narration. Practice helps you find the balance.
Speaking of narration, there were certain points where the narrator divulged information that would have been better revealed by the characters involved. The most egregious instance I can recall was actually near the end of the story. To put it vaguely, one character was secretly responsible for arranging an event to happen. The event failed, but instead of having some kind of interaction or visual sign of displeasure, the narrator basically just points a finger at the character and says "By the way, it was them."
The other biggest thing that struck me is the inconsistency of the consequences of a character's actions carrying over beyond the chapter they occur in. Ashava and Kiyadeh both failed in crucial duties and were treated harshly in the moment, but by the next chapter or two, they were still given the most important role in the village as if the past events did not actually matter. In other cases, it felt like the emotional state of certain characters were bouncing back and forth from one extreme to the other between chapters. While character development should rarely be in a straight line, the amount of swerving was dizzying in the most extreme cases.
The final critique I'll give here today will probably sound harsher than I intend it to. The story didn't truly feel like it was moving in a meaningful direction until the third act (The leadup to the Bonding Ceremony) began. It's easier for me to say as the reader, but I think the story would have been stronger had it put more focus on this point. I'm sure some of that material will pay off in the next book or book 3, but it's important for the first book of a new series to be able to stand on its own, while still leaving room for more to come. I hope that made sense.
I believe I've said enough for one day. Apologies to the author if this comes off as a lecture. I'm genuinely trying to help, and as I've said before, I want to see him continue to grow and improve. By next VGMCon, I hope to be all caught up on the stories of Nevertold. I'll be looking forward to talking to M.R. Moraine and C.E. Linares about them then.
I'll begin with the positive. The setting of this world has a lot of promise. The Manyari as a species are visually interesting as a humanoid race with scales, horns, and long, flexible ears. It's a breath of fresh air to have a lead cast be something a bit different than the standard human, elf, dwarf, etc. in a fantasy setting like this. I hope book 2 goes even further in setting them apart from the usual human types in movement and utility.
I also like what we have of the magic system, or yarik, in this world so far. While naturally, it is a means of giving weapons like spears and daggers a means of having mystical properties with the use of stones imbued with yarik; I especially liked the creative uses the Manyari have for them in everyday life. There's a scene with two characters fishing, and instead of carrying their bait in a bucket, they use a yarik stone to form a ball of water that stores their bait and their catch of the day on the way back. Such a simple thing, but it helps establish that this magic is a part of this world.
Now, before I begin my criticisms, I want to be clear that this is intended to be constructive feedback. It is far easier to point out flaws or mistakes in someone else's work than it is with your own. And I want to see Moraine continue to learn and grow as a writer. This world has potential and I hope to see it realized.
I'll start with the technical stuff. There were a lot of typos. The author is aware and I'm confident book 2 will have far fewer of them. But also, I found some parts a bit meandering at times. The use of overly flowery language got distracting at times as well. Sometimes less is more, though there are certainly cases to be made for more color in the narration. Practice helps you find the balance.
Speaking of narration, there were certain points where the narrator divulged information that would have been better revealed by the characters involved. The most egregious instance I can recall was actually near the end of the story. To put it vaguely, one character was secretly responsible for arranging an event to happen. The event failed, but instead of having some kind of interaction or visual sign of displeasure, the narrator basically just points a finger at the character and says "By the way, it was them."
The other biggest thing that struck me is the inconsistency of the consequences of a character's actions carrying over beyond the chapter they occur in. Ashava and Kiyadeh both failed in crucial duties and were treated harshly in the moment, but by the next chapter or two, they were still given the most important role in the village as if the past events did not actually matter. In other cases, it felt like the emotional state of certain characters were bouncing back and forth from one extreme to the other between chapters. While character development should rarely be in a straight line, the amount of swerving was dizzying in the most extreme cases.
The final critique I'll give here today will probably sound harsher than I intend it to. The story didn't truly feel like it was moving in a meaningful direction until the third act (The leadup to the Bonding Ceremony) began. It's easier for me to say as the reader, but I think the story would have been stronger had it put more focus on this point. I'm sure some of that material will pay off in the next book or book 3, but it's important for the first book of a new series to be able to stand on its own, while still leaving room for more to come. I hope that made sense.
I believe I've said enough for one day. Apologies to the author if this comes off as a lecture. I'm genuinely trying to help, and as I've said before, I want to see him continue to grow and improve. By next VGMCon, I hope to be all caught up on the stories of Nevertold. I'll be looking forward to talking to M.R. Moraine and C.E. Linares about them then.
June 13, 2026
I've actually met Mr. Moraine in person at a book fair, and he seems like a cool guy. So its with a heavy heart that I'm about to criticize his work.
First things first. There definitely some strong points in this novel that Moraine should be proud of. I like most of the worldbuilding pillars. The main characters are a race of Amazonian beast/human hybrids with scales and fox ears. They use an interesting kind of magic, too: yarik, which I guess is life/world essence of some kind. Only, they don't do it by manipulating magic directly and casting spells the way a typical D&D wizard would. They imbue it into runic stones that store it like a battery, allowing them to create magic weapons and items sort of like an artificer. If I had to describe the aesthetic in a few words, I'd say something like "pastoral crystalpunk". Very refreshing and original.
Yet for each of these worldbuilding wins, there are also some setbacks. The biggest one I can think of is the Valkys. They're the faux antagonists of the novel, but by the end I wasn't even sure what they really are. They show up three times and each time they are characterized a totally different way. First as mindless wind-magic wielding buffalo things, again as weird bird things, and the third time as humanoid spellcasting lizard people that can be summoned by malicious magic users. Of the three, only the last incarnation shows any intelligence, but their motives still aren't explained. It kind of seems like they just like killing Manyari (whom they are related to via breeding with humans, which poses some disturbing lore implications) for...some reason. Honestly, it kind of felt like the author just needed some monsters the heroes could beat up for the action sequences, and that's about all the thought that went into them.
You could cut the Valkys out of the story entirely and it would actually improve the work. Not least because I don't think the action scenes are even that good. They're overly technical and confusing, mostly because the magic system, while interesting on the surface, isn't really explained in depth. So it was very hard to keep track of what was going on.
Actually, that goes for the first half of the book (about 100 pages) pretty much. Nothing really happens aside from some inconsistent character development told over random time skips. One character has this big failure towards the beginning that is supposed to define her entire arc going forward. She was supposed to be punished in some harsh but vague way for what was honestly kind of a BS reason, and its supposed to explain why she is so angry and eager to prove herself for the rest of the book. But in the next time skip, people talk about her as if that just didn't happen. She even has her old job and everything. Little moments of inconsistency like these (and there are plenty of them) had me scratching my head and gaslighting myself about what I'd just read.
The plot does finally start getting interesting somewhere past the halfway mark, in the lead up to the Bonding ceremony. I can't really talk about this without spoilers so consider yourself warned.
***SPOILERS***
Ok, so it turns out the entire purpose of the titular Son is to act as a sort of breeding slave for all the women of the tribe prior to a ritual that will kill him. The reasons why are not exactly clear, but if I had to guess: it seems like yarik actually originates from male manyari, and the tribe is scared of what they might do if they fully mature into their power. So they use special powder along with sex to somehow get the yarik out of males and into the females so they can use it. I guess the moral quandary is that they sort of NEED the yarik to create wards that protect themselves from the Valkys. But exactly why the Valkys want to kill the Manyari isn't explained, and neither is it explained why a male manyari can't just create and power wards himself. So maybe there was supposed to be some sort of moral ambiguity here, but as is, the female manyari end up looking cartoonishly evil. Like, they're just raping and stealing magical gifts from male children because it makes their lives slightly easier and cooler.
Predictable? Perhaps. Still very vague and unsatisfying? Absolutely. But I at least found something redeeming in this section, if only momentarily. The whole "breeding slave" thing isn't played for laughs. I know that's a low bar, but the trauma and hopelessness of the Son is taken seriously and explored in depth rather than dismissed just because "he's a man and men obviously like sex" as many authors would be tempted to do. There is a clear gender role reversal here where the Son is being treated how women all too often were (and still are) in real life history. That instantly made me want to root for him to escape the clutches of an evil society that wants to use and discard him like a mindless object.
I got major punk vibes from this setup and was voraciously reading to the end. I wanted to see The Son learn to harness his special gifts and transform into a badass, or at least reclaim some agency somehow.
That doesn't happen. Instead, his mommy comes and saves him. The story itself essentially treats him the same way as all the women of the tribe view him: as an object with no agency or power, even though he is literally the one with all the power. This immediately ruined all of the good will the Bonding Ceremony initially provoked in me. It would have been so cool to see him learn to use his gifts and lay the smackdown on these assholes. Sure, mommy or another benevolent female member of the tribe could have helped him, but he should have had some kind of agency. Instead he ends the book the same way as he started: a helpless object.
Considering the next book is called "The Mother" and she already overshadowed the protagonist in the first book that is named after him, I don't feel particularly compelled to read the second.
P.S. I wasn't really sure where to fit this in, but the book also has many spelling and grammatical errors. The most annoying one was that it sometimes switches tense not only between sentences, but also sometimes within the same sentence. This really could have used a lot more editing.
First things first. There definitely some strong points in this novel that Moraine should be proud of. I like most of the worldbuilding pillars. The main characters are a race of Amazonian beast/human hybrids with scales and fox ears. They use an interesting kind of magic, too: yarik, which I guess is life/world essence of some kind. Only, they don't do it by manipulating magic directly and casting spells the way a typical D&D wizard would. They imbue it into runic stones that store it like a battery, allowing them to create magic weapons and items sort of like an artificer. If I had to describe the aesthetic in a few words, I'd say something like "pastoral crystalpunk". Very refreshing and original.
Yet for each of these worldbuilding wins, there are also some setbacks. The biggest one I can think of is the Valkys. They're the faux antagonists of the novel, but by the end I wasn't even sure what they really are. They show up three times and each time they are characterized a totally different way. First as mindless wind-magic wielding buffalo things, again as weird bird things, and the third time as humanoid spellcasting lizard people that can be summoned by malicious magic users. Of the three, only the last incarnation shows any intelligence, but their motives still aren't explained. It kind of seems like they just like killing Manyari (whom they are related to via breeding with humans, which poses some disturbing lore implications) for...some reason. Honestly, it kind of felt like the author just needed some monsters the heroes could beat up for the action sequences, and that's about all the thought that went into them.
You could cut the Valkys out of the story entirely and it would actually improve the work. Not least because I don't think the action scenes are even that good. They're overly technical and confusing, mostly because the magic system, while interesting on the surface, isn't really explained in depth. So it was very hard to keep track of what was going on.
Actually, that goes for the first half of the book (about 100 pages) pretty much. Nothing really happens aside from some inconsistent character development told over random time skips. One character has this big failure towards the beginning that is supposed to define her entire arc going forward. She was supposed to be punished in some harsh but vague way for what was honestly kind of a BS reason, and its supposed to explain why she is so angry and eager to prove herself for the rest of the book. But in the next time skip, people talk about her as if that just didn't happen. She even has her old job and everything. Little moments of inconsistency like these (and there are plenty of them) had me scratching my head and gaslighting myself about what I'd just read.
The plot does finally start getting interesting somewhere past the halfway mark, in the lead up to the Bonding ceremony. I can't really talk about this without spoilers so consider yourself warned.
***SPOILERS***
Ok, so it turns out the entire purpose of the titular Son is to act as a sort of breeding slave for all the women of the tribe prior to a ritual that will kill him. The reasons why are not exactly clear, but if I had to guess: it seems like yarik actually originates from male manyari, and the tribe is scared of what they might do if they fully mature into their power. So they use special powder along with sex to somehow get the yarik out of males and into the females so they can use it. I guess the moral quandary is that they sort of NEED the yarik to create wards that protect themselves from the Valkys. But exactly why the Valkys want to kill the Manyari isn't explained, and neither is it explained why a male manyari can't just create and power wards himself. So maybe there was supposed to be some sort of moral ambiguity here, but as is, the female manyari end up looking cartoonishly evil. Like, they're just raping and stealing magical gifts from male children because it makes their lives slightly easier and cooler.
Predictable? Perhaps. Still very vague and unsatisfying? Absolutely. But I at least found something redeeming in this section, if only momentarily. The whole "breeding slave" thing isn't played for laughs. I know that's a low bar, but the trauma and hopelessness of the Son is taken seriously and explored in depth rather than dismissed just because "he's a man and men obviously like sex" as many authors would be tempted to do. There is a clear gender role reversal here where the Son is being treated how women all too often were (and still are) in real life history. That instantly made me want to root for him to escape the clutches of an evil society that wants to use and discard him like a mindless object.
I got major punk vibes from this setup and was voraciously reading to the end. I wanted to see The Son learn to harness his special gifts and transform into a badass, or at least reclaim some agency somehow.
That doesn't happen. Instead, his mommy comes and saves him. The story itself essentially treats him the same way as all the women of the tribe view him: as an object with no agency or power, even though he is literally the one with all the power. This immediately ruined all of the good will the Bonding Ceremony initially provoked in me. It would have been so cool to see him learn to use his gifts and lay the smackdown on these assholes. Sure, mommy or another benevolent female member of the tribe could have helped him, but he should have had some kind of agency. Instead he ends the book the same way as he started: a helpless object.
Considering the next book is called "The Mother" and she already overshadowed the protagonist in the first book that is named after him, I don't feel particularly compelled to read the second.
P.S. I wasn't really sure where to fit this in, but the book also has many spelling and grammatical errors. The most annoying one was that it sometimes switches tense not only between sentences, but also sometimes within the same sentence. This really could have used a lot more editing.
June 9, 2024
I can't wait for the sequel! My husband isn't a reader, but Nevertold: The Son caught his interest at ValleyCon last year so he bought it for me; he knows that I will tell him all about the books I am reading, whether he wants me to or not. I enjoyed the whole book and enjoyed talking to my husband about it more; I'm hoping that he'll pick it up and give it a read sometime.
March 20, 2026
I do think this story was doing interesting things. The magic system is intriguing, the basis of their community seems unusual, and the prologue and epilouge being told about completely different characters elsewhere in the world made me wonder how that might be connected to the main story.
That being said, I don't think I enjoyed the book enough to read the second one. I think it needed another editing pass, there were some gramatical errors and inconsistencies in the story that kinda took me out of it. One small example is when Kiyadeh and Noriendi are travelling back to Orahai and are described as passing a "shared flask of a vibrantly green liquid called Shardroot," but later when they're in camp, Kiyadeh says she's never tried it and Noriendi warns her it can be strong..... so I guess they weren't sharing it earlier?
I think I wish we got to spend more time with the characters to better understand their motives and relationships with each other. Later on the book, Ashava acts out since her punishment for the one time Kemahni and her were ambushed by Valkys was so terrible, but I'm not sure we ever got a description of what her punishment was? And considering how pivotal Kemahni's character is to the story, I think it would have been helpful to get to know him more and how he was sheltered from the truth of his purpose for his entire life. It would have been interesting to see just how that secret was being kept from him.
One last thing I'll touch on is the appendix. And I do appreciate an appendix especially when getting to know characters and concepts for the first time. But in some ways there was more info revealed in there than the story itself. There's some characters being described that were either in the book so litte I forgot who they were (Chae/Stell/Tobia) or weren't in there at all, and concepts/creatures that are not named in the story itself.
But I'll reiterate, I do think this book has some interesting ideas! I almost wish there was just a little more info revealed in this first novel to keep me hooked.
That being said, I don't think I enjoyed the book enough to read the second one. I think it needed another editing pass, there were some gramatical errors and inconsistencies in the story that kinda took me out of it. One small example is when Kiyadeh and Noriendi are travelling back to Orahai and are described as passing a "shared flask of a vibrantly green liquid called Shardroot," but later when they're in camp, Kiyadeh says she's never tried it and Noriendi warns her it can be strong..... so I guess they weren't sharing it earlier?
I think I wish we got to spend more time with the characters to better understand their motives and relationships with each other. Later on the book, Ashava acts out since her punishment for the one time Kemahni and her were ambushed by Valkys was so terrible, but I'm not sure we ever got a description of what her punishment was? And considering how pivotal Kemahni's character is to the story, I think it would have been helpful to get to know him more and how he was sheltered from the truth of his purpose for his entire life. It would have been interesting to see just how that secret was being kept from him.
One last thing I'll touch on is the appendix. And I do appreciate an appendix especially when getting to know characters and concepts for the first time. But in some ways there was more info revealed in there than the story itself. There's some characters being described that were either in the book so litte I forgot who they were (Chae/Stell/Tobia) or weren't in there at all, and concepts/creatures that are not named in the story itself.
But I'll reiterate, I do think this book has some interesting ideas! I almost wish there was just a little more info revealed in this first novel to keep me hooked.
October 7, 2024
I do think this book has a very promising plot with promising characters and promising world building. I do think it could've been a bit more polished with another round of editing to polish up a couple more grammatical errors.
I do like how there is a glossary at the end of the book that details the elements that are mentioned. However, I feel like those details could have been incorporated more into the story to the point where a glossary wouldn't be needed because a reader would have better understanding if those details had been included within the plot itself.
I do like how there is a glossary at the end of the book that details the elements that are mentioned. However, I feel like those details could have been incorporated more into the story to the point where a glossary wouldn't be needed because a reader would have better understanding if those details had been included within the plot itself.
September 10, 2024
This book just wasn’t for me. There is some interesting world building, but I think another pass with a good editor could have made that clearer.
It was also hard for me to connect with any of the main characters. They are interesting characters but I never felt like I got a peek beneath their surface.
The story has some great potential, but it just didn’t click for me.
It was also hard for me to connect with any of the main characters. They are interesting characters but I never felt like I got a peek beneath their surface.
The story has some great potential, but it just didn’t click for me.
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