Por que ninguém me disse isso antes?: Ferramentas para enfrentar os altos e baixos da vida

by Julie Smith, Lúcia Ribeiro da Silva (Translator)

"Inteligente, perspicaz e caloroso. Dra. Julie é a amiga sábia de que todos nós precisamos." – Lori Gottlieb , autora de Talvez você deva conversar com alguém Por que ninguém me disse isso antes? Depois de ouvir essa frase repetidas vezes em seu consultório, a psicóloga Julie Smith decidiu que precisava fazer alguma coisa a respeito. Afinal, ela sempre acreditou que mais pessoas deveriam ter acesso a informações de qualidade sobre como cuidar da saúde mental. Foi então que começou a postar vídeos curtos na internet. Em pouco tempo, eles tiveram mais de meio bilhão de visualizações e a transformaram em um fenômeno das redes sociais. Agora, ela traz a mesma objetividade para oferecer ensinamentos reservados às sessões de terapia, de forma simples, sem perder a profundidade. Neste livro, a dra. Julie oferece um guia prático para ajudar você a compreender o que está sentindo, por que está sentindo e como lidar com isso da melhor forma possível. Você vai aprender, entre outras coisas, • Responder com sabedoria a críticas e rejeições • Acreditar que é capaz de superar os problemas • Evitar comportamentos que pioram seu estado de ânimo • Gerenciar o medo do fracasso e os pensamentos angustiantes • Fazer o que é necessário mesmo quando se sentir sem energia ou motivação • Preparar sua mente para enfrentar as dificuldades com coragem e resiliência

Genres: Nonfiction, Self Help, Psychology, Mental Health, Audiobook, Personal Development, Health

320 pages, Kindle Edition

First published January 11, 2022

About the author

Librarian Note: There is more than one author in the Goodreads database with this name.

Dr Julie Smith is a clinical psychologist with over a decade of professional experience. She is also an online educator and social media star with a combined following of more than 3 million.Julie launched her Tik Tok account to make her services more accessible; her posts on TikTok and Instagram have already amassed more than 20 million likes. She has appeared in two BBC films and on BBC Breakfast, CNN International and Radio 5 Live and has written for The Mail on Sunday, The Evening Standard and The Daily Telegraph.

Reviews

[Maria · Rating 2 out of 5]

somebody has told me this before

[Diane Dachota · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a veteran reader of self-help books I look for original content and information that can be actually put to use rather than theoretical prose. This book accomplishes both of these things and there are actual tools and ideas which can be put to use by those who need some help with emotional issues. Dr. Julie has a following on social media and this book is her way of putting together advise on a variety of subjects from self-esteem, to depression to grief. I appreciated the fact that the author did not start the book with chapters of scientific studies on the brain as I have read those many times and that type of information is not useful to someone who is suffering. Each chapter has a theme and she includes ideas which are identified with a light bulb graphic and tools which are identified with a wrench graphic. I would not say any of her tools are new but they are presented in a new way which makes it valuable.

The author suggests we identify our values and who we want to be and then analyze our thoughts and behaviors to see if we are going in the right direction. She also talks about identifying our emotions in more detail; instead of saying we are sad, are we really bored, anxious, frustrated? She suggests journaling and writing down our negative emotions to try to make some sense of how and why they appeared which will help us to understand them. One of the most important things to me was the idea of not stopping bad feelings but letting them flow through you while trying to identify what they are and where they came from. This is amazing advice as so many times we are told to stop negative feelings which can be impossible.

I did think there was some repetition, although this book is really set up to read sections as needed, If you are not currently grieving for example, you might not need that section at this time. There is a lot of emphasis on exercise, eating well and gratitude lists and I thought this information was perhaps repeated one too many times. Overall, I would recommend this book for people struggling with their emotions, particularly during the pandemic where our lives have become more stressful. I look forward to viewing some of her videos and following her on social media. Thank you to NetGalley for an ARC copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.

[Antigone · Rating 5 out of 5]

Isolation. Restriction. Vigilance. Anxiety. Aggravation. The soul-sucking misery of unwanted change.

We hear a lot about the coronavirus - its physical symptoms, its medical dangers, the residual effects of severe infection - but we hear next to nothing about the stress of living through an ongoing pandemic. Set the virus aside for a moment. Merely enduring the day-to-day of it all has been extremely hard. The psychological strain? Crushing. And many of the remedies for psychological strain (join a gym, take a class, visit loved ones, get a hug) have been forbidden to us for great stretches of time. This is worth someone's attention, and if the government isn't going to give it any, if the media isn't going to give it any, if Dr. Fauci has his hands full, then I guess we're on our own.

For my part, I'll be advancing this book. It's not about the pandemic. It's eight chapters of what our author rightly refers to as "a mental health toolbox." The topics covered are: dark places, motivation, emotional pain, grief, self-doubt, fear, stress, living a meaningful life. And she tells you right up front to skip to the section you need. The rest of the text will wait. She's also straight about exactly what you can expect from her. No cures available, just the means you'll need to persevere until Life loosens up that stranglehold a bit. This is purely pragmatic stuff. What to do to change how you feel. How to calm anxiety right now. How to respond to failure. The importance of routine. I think my favorite part dealt with self-criticism. It was a simple line at the top of Page 159:

"...if you want a man to get up off the ground, you have to stop beating him."

That's just sort of exceptional, you know?

So five fat, happy stars for this god-send of a book that will remain in my house on a shelf somewhere...possibly for the rest of my life.

[Carmina Stejar · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5.
I think this book is very helpful for someone who has no knowledge or background on psychology. The way the information is presented is structured and easy to understand for the general population. And I think for someone who needs a bit of clarity about anxiety, meaning and life in general this book can be valuable.
I liked the way it dived in situations where not being stressed is not an option and how to tackle this areas of life.
I only gave 3 stars because I didn't feel there was any new info for me and it only confirmed things I already know.

[CatReader · Rating 3 out of 5]

I didn't gain any insight from this book but I'm happy that books like this exist for people who need them.

[Lucy Fox · Rating 3 out of 5]

I really wanted to love this after following Dr Julie on social media for quite some time now, but I just didn’t. It was quite bland and I felt often like she only scratched the surface. I was expecting more science, more depth. But it just felt a bit like there were too many things covered in not enough depth.

There are some great points and things that resonated with me and I would still recommend it, especially to self help rookies or people struggling right now. But it just left me a bit disappointed.

[Nina (ninjasbooks) · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was a very useful and practical guide for mental health issues. I loved her short, to the point chapters with tools that were also summarized at the end. The tools fitted nicely to the themes, and I’m sure everyone will find tips that they can use to improve their well-being. The author also explains concepts in a way that is easy to grasp, and I kept thinking that I must use these explanations myself when talking with clients. She was also empathic and it shows how much she cares for others, genuinely wanting to help. The use of small self-revelation were also fitting, making the reader relate and believe in the tools presented.

I warmly recommend this book for everyone who wants to improve their mental health, and live more fulfilling lives.

[Maede · Rating 4 out of 5]

وقتی کمی سرما خوردید، مایعات و غذای مقوی می‌خورید و استراحت می‌کنید
روی یک زخم‌‌ سطحی رو با بتادین تمیز می‌کنید و بانداژ می‌کنید
برای دردهای بدن از کمپرس سرد و گرم استفاده می‌کنید

برای سلامت روانتون هم بلدید کارهای پایه رو انجام بدید؟

این دقیقاً هدف دکتر جولی اسمیت در این کتابه. به نظرم این کتابِ کمک‌های اولیه برای روانه. هر کس باید بدونه در مواجهه با غم، ناامیدی، افسردگی، اضطراب و سوگ باید در ابتدا چه کارهایی انجام بده و در صورتی که اوضاع بدتر شد به دنبال کمک تخصصی بره. همون‌طور که باید بدونی چطور زخمت رو ببندی که عفونت نکنه، اما اگر خونریزی بند نیاد باید خودت رو به دکتر برسونی

فکر می‌کنم اکثر ما هیچوقت این‌ها رو یاد نگرفتیم یا از راه سختش با آزمون و خطای فراوان فهمیدیم. جولی اسمیت این نیاز رو در مراجعانش شناسایی می‌کنه و اول ویدیوهای کوتاهی در اینستاگرام و تیک‌تاک درست می‌کنه تا این اطلاعات پایه رو به مردم بده. با موفقیت این ویدیوها، این کتاب رو هم می‌نویسه

هشتاد درصد کتاب رو قبلاً در کتاب‌های دیگه خونده بودم یا در پادکست‌ها شنیده بودم. اما به نظرم این نقطه ضعف کتاب نیست. همه نمی‌تونن تعداد زیادی کتاب و پادکست طولانی رو گوش بدن تا این‌ها رو یاد بگیرن. همه حوصله‌ی اطلاعات علمی و جزئیات تحقیقات رو ندارن. اینجا همه‌ی اون اطلاعات به خلاصه‌ترین شکل ممکن جمع شده و می‌تونه برای فردی که تازه می‌خواد در مورد مسائل روان بخونه عالی باشه. اما اگه در این مورد مطالعه عمیق داشتید، این کتاب می‌تونه تکراری و سطحی به نظر بیاد

کتاب رو مثل جعبه‌ی کمک‌های اولیه‌ در گوشیم نگه می‌دارم. دوست دارم به خیلی‌ها هم کادوش بدم. کتاب صوتیش هم توسط خود نویسنده خونده شده بود و خیلی خوب بود

۱۴۰۲/۹/۲۳

کانال تلگرام ریویوها و دانلود کتاب‌ها و صوتیشون
Maede's Books

[Julezreads · Rating 4 out of 5]

Empfehlung🥰! Ein Buch, das verschiedene Bereiche der mentalen Gesundheit thematisiert und Lösungsansätze/ Unterstützungswerkzeuge für Ängste, Stress, Selbstzweifel etc. anbietet. Der Schreibstil blieb durchgehend nahbar und einfühlsam, was das Lesen sehr angenehm gestaltet hat. Dennoch erfordert es Ruhe beim Lesen, um über die Aussagen auch wirklich reflektieren zu können. Es hat jetzt nicht die Erleuchtung dargeboten, die ich mir irgendwo erhofft habe - das ist aber sehr persönlich. Wenig hat sich wirklich in meinen Kopf festgesetzt, was eventuell auch an einigen inhaltlichen Wiederholungen liegt. Dennoch sehe ich das Potential dieses Ratgebers. Ich kann es in dem Sinne weiterempfehlen, dass es hilfreiche Aspekte und Aussagen beinhaltet, die ich mir auch in Zukunft anschauen werde☁️

[Lou Reckinger · Rating 2 out of 5]

The basic structure of this book goes: I won’t tell you to (insert common self help advice) like other self help books. Instead try (insert vaguely differently phrased but pretty much the same advice).

I really just can never connect with self help books that shit on other self help books. It’s just so painfully un-aware. And the title really didn’t hit for me. I’ve heard pretty much all of these things before.

[Gabrielė Bužinskaitė · Rating 2 out of 5]

I am just as puzzled. Why has nobody told the author this before?

As someone into psychology, self-help, and therapy, I learned nothing new from reading this book. The author's "knowledge" seems as basic and mainstream as it gets.

She reveals that most people struggle in some way, even if they do not show it. (groundbreaking, isn't it?). Then she introduces "revolutionary" concepts of mindfulness, gratitude, and self-compassion. She heavily relies on cognitive behaviour therapy's theory that by changing how you think, you can change how you feel and behave. And, of course, exercise, go outside, spend time with loved ones, she says.

I might be harsh with my rating, but this book is valid only for someone with little or no background in improving one's mental health. It is worth reading if you are starting out—you will learn the concepts psychotherapists charge fat money for.

[Hamad · Rating 4 out of 5]

This Review ✍️ Blog 📖 Twitter 🐦 Instagram 📷 Support me ☕

February's Non Fiction book of the month!

I don’t have a TikTok account and although this may be a weird way to start a review, I am saying it because apparently the author is a TikTok star with many followers. I stumbled upon this when I was browsing through Edelweiss for ARCs and the title caught my attention so I saved it as future reads and got it when it was published. This was my February’s Non-Fiction book of the month.

The book is a self-help one revolving around mental health and ways to cope with every day challenges. It is divided into main parts -each discussing a certain topic- with multiple chapters in each part. The chapters are short for the most part with a summary at the end of each chapter.

I read this because I wanted to learn more about mental health in general and specifically anxiety. I liked Dr. Smith’s writing style because she’s realistic and she does not like to be overly positive. She even criticizes some of the common advice given in real life and social media which can be more harmful than helpful.

The book sometimes only scratch the surface of important topics but I kind of understand that given that it is directed to the general population and it is not an academic book. Some of the chapters were very short, they felt like a summary of something larger and yet they had the bullet points summary at the end because that’s just the way the book is formatted. I think it could have been better if the summaries were at the end of each part rather than chapter with the most important things included.

Summary: I enjoyed the book and thought it was helpful at the same time which is what I am looking for when I am reading a non-fiction book. I believe the format could have been a bit better but the writing and information given were clear and interesting. The author is not preachy and is very realistic. There are some points that could have been expanded but I am okay with what he have. I don’t think it is a life changing book but it can certainly help!

[laviestlivre · Rating 1 out of 5]

2,5/5

high expectations but in the end i learned nothing new.. but it can be probably useful for some people

[Suz · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5⭐ rounded down.

I found this audiobook to be an easily digestible book, read well by the author. Initially uploading small videos during Covid, this psychologists presents ideas to the reader that are easily taken in. She explains her ideas are just that, ways to look at life in dealing with stressful situations, to make things easier at the time using simple explanations and scenarios that have worked for her clients, and for herself. I found one area I particularly related to, about becoming complacent with exercise, and depression, and the cycle that persists if one does not get out there and feel fresh air and even just to walk, small steps at first, building to attainable goals. I wanted to capture a great quote about depression and moving your body, but as I was driving I didn't do this. This book is not rocket science, it uses plain language and easily understood ideas, and using one's tool kit to better attack life. It was not preachy nor hard to understand. This possibly may be better as a physical book, to approach the exercises for reflection and planning.

I listened to this audiobook via the Libby app and my public library.

[Julian Worker · Rating 4 out of 5]

I will be using this book for reference. The various sections deal with moods, motivation, emotional pain, grief, self-doubt, fear, stress, and how to lead a meaningful life.

It's a really useful guide on how to recognise your behaviour for what it is and provides methods for understanding what's happening and for counteracting the behaviour if it's causing you stress or anxiety.

The power of any thought is in how much we buy into it and how much we believe it to be true and meaningful. Thoughts aren't facts, they're judgements, theories, memories, predictions, and interpretations about the future. The brain's job is to save us as much time and energy as possible and this means it takes short-cuts and makes guesses / predictions all the time but with limited information.

Mindfulness allows us to notice a thought and choose not to stick to it, but focus our attention somewhere else.

[Sophia M. Davis · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing. Just fantastic and life changing. After reading this you will shake your head and say “why has no one ever told me this?” Seriously. This is life insight that everyone needs to hear and it’s written in such a way that it’s easy to understand. I highly recommend reading this book. Thank you NetGalley for the opportunity to read an early copy!

[Celestina1210 · Rating 3 out of 5]

3,5⭐️
Un livre intéressant sur le sujet de la dépression qui a le mérite de remettre l’église au centre du village. Seul défaut j’aurais aimé que l’autrice développe un peu plus les idées présentes dans ce livre je file m’abonner à son compte Instagram.

[Miglė · Rating 4 out of 5]

it was recommended to me with a note that you probably know the theory, but it doesn’t hurt revisiting it - and that's exactly why I'd recommend it further, there's nothing groundbreaking, especially with a background in psychology, but it's well written and offers some insightful angles into this crazy hazy experience of being human.

[preru ♡ · Rating 4 out of 5]

⭐⭐⭐⭐ / ⭐⭐⭐⭐⭐

“Just as thoughts are not facts, feelings are not facts either. Emotions are information, but when that information is powerful, intense and loud, as emotions can be, then we are more vulnerable to believing in them as a true reflection of what is going on. I feel it therefore it must be a fact. Emotional reasoning is a thought bias that leads us to use what we feel as evidence for something to be true, even when there might be plenty of evidence to suggest otherwise.”

"Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" authored by the esteemed Julie Smith, emerges as a profound and invaluable literary gem that invites readers into a realm of transformative mental health strategies. Within the pages of this book, Dr. Smith generously shares her therapist's toolkit, offering an exquisite amalgamation of expert guidance and clandestine wisdom, intended to fortify and sustain our mental well-being even amidst the most arduous trials.

One of the standout features of this book is its organization. The bite-sized entries make it effortless to locate specific information and quickly absorb the knowledge provided. This structure is particularly helpful during challenging times when immediate support and guidance are needed.
Dr. Smith's writing style is empathetic and compassionate, creating a safe space for readers to explore their emotions and vulnerabilities. The book not only provides practical tools but also promotes a deeper understanding of how our minds work. This knowledge enables readers to fortify their mental health proactively, making it an essential companion in the journey towards self-care.

“If we associate failure with unworthiness, then starting anything new is going to feel overwhelming and procrastination will be front and centre. We protect ourselves from the psychological threat of shame by sabotaging the process before it gets started.”

I appreciate that the strategies presented in this book are backed by evidence and proven effectiveness. It is evident that Dr. Smith's expertise as a therapist shines through in her approach, providing readers with reliable and trustworthy advice.
"Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" serves as a wake-up call to the importance of prioritizing mental well-being alongside physical health. It emphasizes the need to nurture our minds and offers a blueprint for doing so effectively. The wisdom and practicality found within these pages have the potential to genuinely transform lives.

In conclusion, I highly recommend "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" to anyone seeking to improve their mental health and develop resilient coping mechanisms. Dr. Julie Smith's compassionate and insightful guidebook is an empowering resource that has the potential to positively impact your life. Embrace the opportunity to fortify your mental well-being with this exceptional book. It is with utmost conviction that I wholeheartedly endorse "Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before?" as an indispensable companion in the pursuit of mental fortitude and personal growth. Dr. Julie Smith's eloquent and enlightening guide is an invaluable resource, a beacon of empowerment capable of irrevocably transforming lives. Embrace the opportunity to embark upon the profound path of self-discovery and resilience that this exceptional book offers.

[Sadra Kharrazi · Rating 1 out of 5]

عجب اعتماد به سقفی داره این نویسندهه
یه جوری اسم کتاب رو گذاشته " چرا تا به حال این ها را کسی به من نگفته بود" که فکر کردم قراره فنون کیمیاگری و طریقه استفاده از جادوی سیاه رو آموزش بده
بعد دیدم نه یه مشت حرف تکراری که صدها کتاب در موردش نوشته شده رو داره تحویلم میده

[Nas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is like a mental health toolbox for anyone who concerns about mental health and well-being.

It filled with different tools for different challenges. Whatever it is you’re facing —stress, anxiety, low mood, lack of confidence,grief or self-criticism —you will find ideas and ways for processing how you’re feeling, getting new perspective and strategies to help you cope.

It is divided into 8 big chapters of different issues to tackle which are :

1. On dark places
2. On motivation
3. On emotional pain
4. On grief
5. On self-doubt
6. On fear
7. On stress
8. On a meaningful life

Every chapter is further discussed in a short sub chapters and it eases readers to just flip the page on any topic that concern them. But, reading the whole book won’t hurt😉

I find it helpful and beneficial as it comes with simple diagrams to illustrate why our mind works as it does, practical tools and strategies such as breathing techniques, visualizations and also journaling prompts for readers to document their thoughts and experiences.

[Scarlett.V. Clark · Rating 1 out of 5]

If you are new to content about mental health or if you are new to reading about improving your life this book could be for you. Personally, it read like a series of blog posts, even though I have enjoyed watching Dr. Julie on social media her book isn't any different to her 60-second videos. There wasn't anything refreshing or insightful, I feel very disappointed since I was so excited to finally get my hands on it but I do feel maybe it was a marketing strategy. Each chapter is only a few pages long and regurgitates the same information you can find online. I'm sorry to say I wouldn't recommend this.

[Dilovan Kovli · Rating 3 out of 5]

Why Has Nobody Told Me This Before? offers practical advice for mental well-being with clear, actionable tips. Julie Smith’s approach is straightforward and easy to understand.
Nevertheless, the book can be repetitive and doesn’t delve deeply into its topics. It’s useful for those new to self-help, but if you’ve read similar books before, it might not provide much new information.

[Mairita (Marii grāmatplaukts) · Rating 5 out of 5]

Šo grāmatu jātur pa rokai un jālieto tāpat kā citi lieto Bībeli. Kad vienreiz izlasīta, tad var atgriezties un atkārtot konkrētā brīdī noderīgo nodaļu (par motivāciju, šaubām, sāpēm, stresu u.c.), izmantot ieteiktās metodes un instrumentus kā sev palīdzēt.

[Charley Jenni · Rating 1 out of 5]

1.25⭐️ - had to read non-fiction books during the 75 hard challenge it was interesting but not that good but like it was okay it was bearable. I don’t really like non-fiction books at all but it was slightly interesting however I felt so bored reading it most of the time.

[Patrycja Krotowska]

25% i nic nowego - priorytetyzuj sen, odżywiaj się dobrze, SPOTYKAJ SIĘ Z LUDŹMI, zapisuj na karteczce, za co jesteś wdzięczna, nie myśl o tym, o czym nie chcesz myśleć. Jeeez, somebody has told me this before.

[simona.citeste · Rating 4 out of 5]

O carte folositoare la care te poți întoarce de fiecare dată când simți nevoia.

Explică pe înțelesul tuturor cum funcționează mintea noastră și ne împrietenește cu toate emoțiile pe care le simțim.

[shamim · Rating 4 out of 5]

در کل همین که حرف هاش خیلی تو طول کتاب تکرار نشده بود(تکرار داشت ولی نه خیلی)
و همین که چیزهایی رو گفته بود که علمی بودند با وجود اینکه بعضیاش رو میدونستم ولی همین که میدیدم صحبت هاش صرفا انگیزشی و زرد نبود
به نظرم این کتاب رو تبدیل به کتابی کرده که در کل ارزش خوندن داره

[Ana Claudia Santos-Cortez · Rating 2 out of 5]

I understand the intention behind compiling these pages yet I found no value in them. Oversimplification of complex topics tend to be perceived poorly, and this is how I see this book. Working as a revolutionary approach of 30 second videos on TikTok, where people are not willing to spend more than that time into a subject and value immediate rewards over anything else, does not mean it is a good idea to transfer that approach into a book format.

As someone who has read multiple books to understand emotions and feelings better as well as takes therapy sessions seriously, I don’t recommend reading this except if one has never heard about the basics of self awareness and emotions management through simple tips.

[Ian M. Pyatt · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a timely book for me - I been struggling with mental health issues for longer than I have admitted and this book has certainly made me open my eyes.

The book is divided into 8 sections and four or five chapters in each section and provides very detailed and relevant information on various coping methods on how to deal with stress, anxiety, grief, criticism, etc. Within each chapter there are charts and tables to complete and then a Q&A section to fill in - something for me to do after absorbing this book.

Like other self-help books I've read, I just wish I had post-it notes handy to mark pages I wanted to re-read again; so a trip to a stationary store is next.

Highly recommend for anyone who feels they are dealing with the same issues as me.