A Mom Just Like You

by Vickie Farris, Jayme Farris Metzgar

Let's face it ... the bulk of the everyday work of home schooling falls on Mon's shoulders. A rewarding and fulfilling as it is, it is no easy task. No one knows this better than home schooling mother of ten, Vickie Farris. If you've ever wondered, "Okay, so how do you do it?" you just picked up the right book! Through her warm, practical style, Vickie will fill you with encouragement and practical suggestions for those days when the challenge seems overwhelming.

And for those thinking of embarking on the home schooling adventure, she offers her insights gleaned from years of experience, giving confidence and resolve. After all, she's a mom just like you. "Hey Mom ... you can do it!"

Genres: Parenting, Nonfiction, Christian, School, Education

287 pages, Paperback

First published December 1, 2000

Reviews

[Christa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have to first say that a friend reccommended this book as one of her top reads. It is written to homeschooling moms, but applicable to any mom who wants to be a "fly on a wall" seeing how another moms does it all day.

I appreciate the heart of Vicki Farris. She really bares all in her struggle to cling to Christ in all things and scripture is always driving her. I really struggled with this book in the begginning because of the chapter on birth control - I thought, "I'm reading this to hear about your homeschooling experience - why are you sharing your very strong opinion about birth control?? And in the beginning of all things - I think this is more appropriate in an appendix as optional reading." Anyway, I told myself to keep reading because I decided to hear her out and figure out why she felt this was a necessary preamble to a book about homeschooling. I am glad I heard her out - not for the birth control content, but more I really appreciated seeing her struggle through her convictions and how she really just wanted to honor God and that Scripture directed her heart. Am I ready to publish my hardest areas of surrender for others to read? No way! So she gained my respect. I am now on page 160, and remarked to Joel that this book has proved to be birth control for me --- I DO NOT WANT 10 kids - I do not want my days to be THAT busy!! I love to rest with my children and have quality time with each of them. I love to be spontaneous about when we pick up a book or can go for a walk together.

From the beginning, my personal preferences diverged greatly from the author, but I find the book a personal challenge to surrender all things to Christ. And I find myself loving her heart eventhough our daily lives are so different.

[Sarah S · Rating 1 out of 5]

While there are a few chapters that are encouraging to mothers, particularly homeschooling mothers, some chapters feel more like reading an emotional woman’s diary as she laments over being pregnant again. The birth control chapter is one of the wildest things I have ever read…and I’m a constant reader. Some sections in the book have good Biblical principles, while others are just rephrasing Bill Gothard’s teachings, which I disagree with. In fact, the author states early on that her husband went to the Gothard conferences and his teachings heavily influenced them…this likely is why the author frequently talks about Christian Nationalism and things like courtship. This book is meant to encourage homeschooling mothers but it seems like this woman’s best solutions to having many children are to hire help for yard work, hire a nanny/tutor and to hire housekeepers. That simply isn’t practical or affordable for the average homeschooling family. She states she sleeps in until 9am and rarely cooks anything for the family except for dinner…kids are on their own for food. This book doesn’t provide much practical advice. There are so many other better books on these topics, that I wouldn’t recommend wasting your time on this one.

[Havebooks Willread · Rating 4 out of 5]

I started a review of A Mom Just Like You by homeschooling mother of ten, Vicki Farris, yesterday, but got sidetracked as I reflected on why it was such a blessing to me to read it as I was plugging along through the end of our school year in survival mode. While I don't share her every conviction, Vicki's transparency and wealth of experience gave me the encouragement and focus to finish this school year strong. Amazon describes the book with

Let's face it...the bulk of home schooling falls on mom's shoulders. Although very rewarding, it is not an easy task.
No one knows this better than home schooling mother of 10, Vickie Farris. Through her warm, practical style, Farris, will fill you with encouragement and practical suggestions for those days when the challenge seems overwhelming. And for those thinking of embarking on the home school adventure, she offers her insights gleaned from years of experience, giving confidence and resolve. After all, she's a mom just like you. Hey Mom...you can do it!

She had me at hello (well, okay, it was a few pages in) with her disclaimer "It's not that I'm all that patient or organized. It's pretty much just the grace of God that gets me through" (26). Okay, good, cuz if it requires an incredibly patient or ultra-organized mom, I give up.

I appreciated several messages she wove throughout the book.

1. Children are a blessing and God uses them to shape us into the image of Christ.

"The reason most people do not want a lot of children is that--let's face it--children are a lot of trouble and a lot of work. . .They require us to grow up and shape up, to deny ourselves and become more like Christ if we are to have any measure of success with them. And what a genuine blessing that is! Children force us onto our knees, drive us to the Lord, and sharpen us for even greater service (104).

"With little ones utterly dependent on us, we have a special chance to model God's self-giving love for His children. Remember that with greater 'freedom' comes greater temptation to live for our own pleasure. Rather than complaining about your current situation, or envying those who do not have small children, rejoice that your life naturally compels you to the kind of service to which God calls each of us" (207).

2. Stop striving to be The Perfect Mom or The Perfect Homeschooling Mom. Our hope is in God alone and as a friend said to me this weekend "________ isn't what's going to get me into heaven" (you fill in the blank with whatever it is you're trying to kill yourself to do perfectly).

"Curriculum and schedules are helpful tools, but they are not "miracle solutions" that will make us perfect teachers and mothers. Our hope is in God alone" (133).

"We eat simple meals for breakfast and lunch, with most of the kids getting the food themselves. Yes, this usually means cold cereal instead of eggs and toast, and hot pockets or macaroni and cheese more often than homemade soup and sandwiches, but I know I would go crazy if I tried to be "The Perfect Mom" in everything" (214). (I signed her up to be my new best friend, right here!! No condemnation from this mama in the trenches!)

3. Examine God's purpose for you in your current stage of life and take each opportunity for service to the Lord in prayer before giving an answer.

"I want to encourage you that God gives each of us different seasons of life in which to accomplish different tasks for Him. When you have young children, God's primary assignment for you is in the home. When they are grown and gone, He will have other jobs for you to do. But there are certain things we can and should do to serve others even now. When approached with a new job or project, do we automatically take it to prayer and determine whether or not it is something God would have us do? Or do we simply act on the spur of the moment, and under the influence of our current emotions?" (167).

4. Develop the proper attitude toward times of refreshment as gifts from God

"When you do have a chance for a break, receive it not with a sense of guilt, nor with a sense of entitlement, but with simple gratitude to the God who cares for your every need" (216).

She also shared several encouraging passages from Scripture, stories from her experiences, and practical tips that anyone can apply to enhance their days of parenting and educating. My favorite one that I immediately applied involved our daily Bible study. When we lived in Missouri, we had a great daily routine in which everyone met at the table at 7 am to read the Bible with Daddy before he went to work. Since he now has to be AT work at 7, this wonderful routine has gone to the wayside and we have had a difficult time establishing a consistent method of Bible reading with all five children together. Vicki's suggestion is perfect for this season of our life:

"Each child has an assigned day for selecting a passage of Scripture and reading it aloud for the rest of us. I am often blessed to hear the Bible verses that my children choose, and it sets a good tone for the entire school day" (52).

I am so thrilled to have "happened upon" this book on the shelf of my local library while helping my son find books about small-engine repair. The Lord certainly used it for refreshment for this tired mama.

[Melanie · Rating 3 out of 5]

This book was Dewey Decimaled in the homeschooling section (371) but it was pretty much just a Christian memoir of a woman who had ten kids and homeschooled them, and her husband is Mike Farris, the president of HSLDA. Small to no focus on her methodologies of homeschooling or household logistics, and bigger focus on her own faith development as well as that of her three eldest daughters.

Also a solid emphasis on letting God take control of your womb to give you as many children as He sees fit. The majority of her ten children were conceived after she turned 35.

It was interesting but more of a family/marital/Christian resource, NOT a homeschooling resource.

[Pam Barnhill · Rating 5 out of 5]

Can not say enough good things about this book. It is for homeschooling moms, but really every Christian mom should read it. If you don't homeschool, just skip those chapters. Farris is uplifting and inspiring throughout. I borrowed a copy from a friend, but may have to buy my own to keep on the nightstand. One of the best mom books I have read, ever.

[Leigh · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this while I was really burned out and it brought me right out of it. Vickie Farris is a homeschooling mom of 10. In fact her daughter actually wrote the book for her because she didn't have the time. Her use a scripture is beautiful and very helpful.

[Christy Diane · Rating 2 out of 5]

I was so eager to hear how this mom of ten gets through her days. It was a lot of work to trudge through all the talk about her birth control issues...not what I was looking for in a "homeschool" book.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is a good book for a homeschool Mom to read to remember the why of homeschooling. Vickie Farris has homeschooled a large family and has dealt with many of the same struggles we all face in homeschooling. It’s refreshing to read how she did it.

[Hannah · Rating 3 out of 5]

This was a hard one to rate, most of it was a 3 for me, but the last couple of chapters on service and seeing your children as a heritage were really good.

Most of the book is more a memoir than tips on how to homeschool, which is fine, but not what I was expecting. It definitely felt dated at points, and some of the advice seemed thrown out there without much context, more of a random opinion without much explanation. She also uses a very different homeschool style than I do, so that made it difficult to relate to some of her homeschool advice and experience. I also did not think that the chapters on marriage and homeschooling were fleshed out enough, and I didn’t agree with some of the points in the marriage and family chapters.

Overall it was a fine read, but if you have limited time to read books about homeschooling and the homeschooling life, there are much better ones out there.

[Laurie Wheeler · Rating 5 out of 5]

Very much enjoyed this book which goes into how she chose to homeschool. Her husband, Constitutional lawyer Michael Farris, forms HSLDA to help homeschoolers, through which homeschooling becomes legal throughout America.
She shares their personal story of homeschooling their own children. Lots of valuable information.

[Lexi Zuo · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this book! It was very different from what I expected, but it was a sweet encouragement to me. I especially liked how Vicky Harris gives advice and shares her deep convictions, while at the same time being gracious and gentle through out.

[Kat · Rating 1 out of 5]

As soon as I read the husband went to hear cult IBLP’s former abusive leader Bill Gothard speak at a conference I knew it wouldn’t be for me.

[Anna · Rating 3 out of 5]

Interesting to read this, as I've heard about the Farris family for years through my own family's involvement in HSLDA, and I met Mike Farris when I went to PHC for camp one year. She seems to be a genuine woman--sharing freely and honestly of the joys--and struggles of homeschooling/working with a large family. I enjoyed the book.

[Madonna · Rating 2 out of 5]

I really enjoyed this book. It was about homeschooling and it brought back some good memories and also, some stressful ones. But, all in all, I was grateful for my homeschooling years with my children.

[Sally · Rating 3 out of 5]

A good book though I could have done without all the birth control talk - though I do understand the author's reasoning for sharing her thoughts on the matter. It still just didn't seem to fit the book. It is a good book to read if you are looking for some encouragement & a homeschooling mom.

[Amy · Rating 3 out of 5]

Although some of this book was not applicable to me as I do not have a big family, it was encouraging as a homeschool mom. I like the fact that she shares her victories and areas of weakness, it makes her real and her wisdom/advice attainable. I would give it 3 1/2 Stars!

[Briana · Rating 5 out of 5]

This was so motivational and uplifting! I read this just as I was starting the new school year out and it gave me the extra push that I needed! I loved her perspective on birth control and handing over trust to God in all aspects of your life. Very Good!

[Shyla · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is my get out to encourage myself when I'm afraid I'm a total failure at homeschooling and mothering. It is amazing, a must have for any homeschooling mom!

[Misty Lynne · Rating 4 out of 5]

I very much appreciated the author's opennes and honesty. I learned a lot from this seasoned homeschooling mother.

[Winnie Thornton · Rating 3 out of 5]

I remember liking it a lot at the time, but I'd have to re-read to make sure I agree with everything she says.

[Bookwyrmgyrl]

Well worth the read - I found it compelling.

[Debbie Gibbs · Rating 5 out of 5]

One of absolutely best books for homeschooling moms of many !!!

[Nikki Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

Written by a homeschool Mom of several kids to homeschool Moms. Tremendously encouraging!

[grllopez ~ with freedom and books · Rating 5 out of 5]

So far I've read it three times. This book changed my life - literally!!!!!

[Donna · Rating 1 out of 5]

This was not the book for me. I wanted more homeschool advice and less religion/birth control.

[Marcy W · Rating 5 out of 5]

love it! Would recommend to any mother but especially one with many children or a homeschool mom!

[Bonnie DeZelar · Rating 4 out of 5]

Yep, we moms can do anything! Look out Superman!