Born to Win: Transactional Analysis with Gestalt Experiments

by Muriel James, Dorothy Jongeward

One of the all-time classic self-help books--with over four million in print


Twenty-five years and four million readers show that Born to Win can change lives for the better. This bestselling classic uses the well-known psychological method called transactional analysis (TA) to uncover the roles we unconsciously act out day after day. Its fifty gestalt exercises have helped a generation realize how they communicate with others and think about themselves. If you want to have more control over your life, work more efficiently, and love others happily, Born to Win will help bring out the insight and confidence of a born winner.
"For the general reader [Born to Win] is probably the clearest and most up-to-date statement of the current thinking in transactional analysis, and easily the best of the popular books."--Psychology Today

"Enriching, stimulating, rewarding reading is here for anyone interested in understanding himself, his relationship with others, and his goals."--Kansas City Times

Genres: Psychology, Nonfiction, Self Help, Personal Development, Philosophy, Business, Leadership

320 pages, Paperback

First published January 1, 1971

Reviews

[Cathy · Rating 5 out of 5]

Of the books my older sister has given me, this one book supercedes any other book since. I got it as a gift around 1984, when my life was upside down and I was drowning. It became my liferaft in a world that did not include psychology or psychiatry. The door swung open and the light of this book burned off the thunder clouds. With it, I began to live life rather than life living me.

[Liz · Rating 4 out of 5]

A book I would recommend everyone should read. The title sounds so naff, but this is not your 'run of the mill' self-help book. Written in the 70's, but still as relevant today, the book explains the influences that affect personal development and how to identify and overcome entrenched behaviour patterns that ultimately hold us back. Cheaper than psychotherapy!

[Kirtida Gautam · Rating 4 out of 5]

Last year, when my moods started their sea-saw game, I didn't pay much attention. I take pride in being a brilliant psychologist. "I can handle my own sh*t." I could not have been more wrong.
My moods took the best of me.
I ruined some relations.
I created havoc in certain aspects of my professional life.
It was like my mind was hell bent to make me lose.
This is what I learnt: Never ever take your mind for granted. Just the way, you take out time every day to take care of your body, (I hope you do-- exercise and diet!) Take out time every day to take care of your mind.
And reading the books that increases your understanding of your own mind is the A-B-C to start from.
Born To Win (1971 Transactional Analysis Classic) is one of the best TA books and I highly recommend it to anyone who wants to increase their knowledge of TA and their own minds.

[Yitzchok · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is my second of three books that I have recently purchased on Transactional Analysis (TA). I find the concept invigorating and freeing. When someone asks me how I feel about something, rather than struggle to make sense of my mixed feelings, I can clearly respond from three different places within myself. I can explain how my Inner Child feels about it. I can explain how my Inner Parent feels about it and how my Adult feels about it. In my opinion this helps incredibly to avoid hurt feelings or people taking how you feel in the wrong way when they know its your Inner Child talking and that your Adult recognizes the more objective truth. More importantly it helps me work through ALL of my feelings about an issue or incident. Incredibly helpful!

Its really amazing to look at a heated thread on Facebook about any controversial topic and you can clearly see this dynamic playing out. People are responding to each other at cross-currents with Adult trying to reason with Inner Child or Inner Parent scolding another persons Adult.

I liked this book much better then Games People Play, as that was much more about the title of the book and scripts that stay with us from childhood. The basic three levels of TA speak to me much more then the games aspect, although I am sure if you are familiar with people who utilize such games, it may be rewarding to read as well.

I am looking forward to reading the third book I bought on TA, I am OK, You're OK, which received very high ratings on Amazon.

[Anna Elissa · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is one of the compulsory textbooks for our psychiatry residency program. It is a very good explanation of transactional analysis, and an eye-opening introduction for anyone new to TA, including myself. I am really grateful to have read it! TA turns out to be very useful in understanding not only people with psychiatric problems but also people and relationships in general, even the culture of the family and the society at large. Highly recommended read!

[Banu Prakash Raje Urs M S · Rating 5 out of 5]

Must read for everyone. Detailed insight to the world of psychology. Beautifully written with examples which helps to understand psychology and human behaviour.

[Jill]

Why do all the great books on TA have such cheesy titles? Just wondering...

[Aditya · Rating 4 out of 5]

The first book which my therapist then has asked me to read. It was the beginning of a life changing time in my life and i was at film school. This is a very very insightful first book to understanding the way our mind carries baggage from the past into the present and future and a little about how we could let it down. Can't sustitute for a therapist but can help you understand the need for one. :)

[WordCount Library · Rating 3 out of 5]

A great book for those who wish to learn, apply, study and teach Transactional Analysis. A great read for people in leadership positions, educators and parents. The impact of these ideas drives home deeper when followed-up by a TA workshop with a good facilitator.

[Lisa Powers · Rating 5 out of 5]

I worked as a substance abuse counselor in a residential facility for adolescents and this was the manuel/guide-book/how to, be all/end all that we used. It changed my life, for the better.

[Marilù · Rating 3 out of 5]

A tratti molto interessante. Tuttavia, si percepiscono tutti i limiti di una proposta di psicologia superata, scritta nel 1970 da due donne che consideravano la non-eterosessualitá una malattia psichiatrica, con tutto ciò che ne consegue sulla loro filosofia di netta separazione tra i ruoli uomo-donna.

[Nott]

Dnf @11%

Написано живо и интересно, но я 1. Уже не так интересуюсь трансактным анализом и 2. У моей книги ужасное оформление файла, читать очень тяжело.

[Kristian · Rating 4 out of 5]

A brilliant read and much easier than reading the book this was based! I enjoyed it so much as well as learned much from it, that I bought copies of it for all my adult children.....hopefully they will come to read and appreciate this book for what it is......a great tool for learning life skills and more!

[Gordan Karlic · Rating 4 out of 5]

There are some good psychological advice from this book, but also some convoluted graphs that don't really work like that in real life, because there are a lot more going on at a particular moment, but it can help.

[Emily · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this as an assigned text for a class, not pleasure reading. I found it interesting, though the Parent/Child/Adult ego stages are very reminiscent of Freud at times. There are some good lessons in this book, though I don't see it as the all-encompassing, world-altering text many people seem to believe it it. Occasionally the language gets too 'buzz word' for me...sometimes I think he wanted to cram as many clinically popular words into one phrase as he could. The contrast between formal and informal writing at times can be jarring, but this isn't a pleasure read so it doesn't matter all that much. I think most folks should read this, though I found the first half of the book more useful than the last couple of chapters. There are good lessons here, but hopefully by the time you're an adult you've already learned at least a handful of them.

[Nat · Rating 4 out of 5]

To the best of my knowledge, this 1971 book has never been updated; and that's a real shame, because this book was an eye-opener for me. I wish that I could recommend this book; I really do, but I cannot because it has not been updated.

Forget the above; I have just learned that it was re-issued in '96. Gonna have to get that reissue and carefully read it.....

[Nubia · Rating 4 out of 5]

I read this book in my early teens when I was not aware of pych terminology, I enjoyed the reading, though.
It is a study of transactional analysis with a lot of excercises for the reader. A very good example of self help book.

Lei este libro en mis primeros anos de adolescencia, para ese entonces no conocia bien la terminologia en psiquiatria pero de todas forma lo disfrute. Se trata de el estudio del Analisis Transaccional y presenta muchos ejercicios para ser realizados por el lector. Es un buen ejemplar de libros de auto ayuda.

[Prashanth Bhat · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing book. It helps explain in one of the most fundamental way, why we behave the way we do. Why we are 'The product of our times'. How parents behaviour that we grow up seeing, the environment we grow up largely defines our attitudes. How are the winner traits vs traits of a loser and how we develop attitudes in each of the buckets. More importantly it also talks about Gestalt and transaction analysis to understand oneself in a deeper way. Awesome must read !

[Kristine · Rating 3 out of 5]

A text book read of Transactional Analysis, the understanding of unconscious roles and behaviors we play and how that affects the way we communicate and relate to the world/others. I don’t believe simply reading this book and doing the exercises will free your mind and pre-programming from childhood trauma, but it is a start on the road to awareness and recovery.

[Anshuman Damani · Rating 4 out of 5]

Human's have always been fascinating. To understand humans is not just mere instincts, but also science. This book helps us read humans through the science of Transactional Analysis. All in all - a good read, beautiful examples and loved the path of introspection this book instigates.

[Yoric · Rating 4 out of 5]

A profound book. This is the psychology everyone is concerned with, and everyone should know about.
I'm not sure if I heard about it through Steve Chandler, or Jim Rohn, or Zig Ziglar.
Whatever the source, I'm not disappointed.

[M Sands · Rating 3 out of 5]

Dated

[yulian · Rating 4 out of 5]

Each human being is born as something new, something that never existed before. Each is born with the capacity to win at life. I do believe in that. There are lotta quotes i loved here!

[Maria Cristina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Premettendo che io non ho alcuna conoscenza in ambito psicologico e non mi permetto di giudicare un libro così dal punto di vista tecnico.. devo dire che mi ha dato molti spunti di riflessione.. la cosa interessante è che ponendo una propria visione schematica delle possibili divisioni dell'IO da un'immagine molto chiara di quello che può succedere internamente in ognuno di noi nella nostra vita quotidiana e questo offre a chi legge la possibilità di analizzarli sin da subito attivamente non solo nel momento in cui legge, ma anche nel momento in cui entrano in gioco i meccanismi esposti nel libro!
Ho avuto come la sensazione di ricevere uno kit molto semplice e chiaro grazie al quale notare efficacemente certi meccanismi interni e osservarli in maniera molto più consapevole nel momento stesso in cui avvengono o stanno per avvenire!
Una stellina in meno solo perché su alcuni punti lho trovato un po ripetitivo.
In generale credo che a livello di tematiche non sia un libro da cui iniziare..forse io sono arrivata a queste conclusioni perché prima ho letto molti altri libri sul tema e simili! Nel caso vi consiglio di dare una sguardo alle mie letture passate per capire a quali libri mi riferisco.
Il libro è chiaro e schematico (presenta addirittura una sintesi alla fine di ogni capitolo per fissare meglio i concetti TOP!!!) consigliato per chi vuole davvero lavorare su se stesso al fine di migliorarsi. <3

[#DÏ4B7Ø Chinnamasta-Bhairav]

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[Enrico Finocchiaro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Superato il titolo infelice e fuorviante (non è un testo di "motivazione manageriale"), la lettura di questo saggio è la scoperta di un metodo formale, analitico e di ampio respiro, per capire sé stessi e il rapporto con gli altri, con l'obiettivo di migliorarsi e vivere la vita appieno. Come tutte le teorie o metodi, è una semplificazione ed è soggetta a critiche; ciò nonostante, il messaggio è potente e, grazie all'approccio pratico con esercizi, promette di accompagnare anche dopo aver terminato la lettura.

[Becca Kemp · Rating 4 out of 5]

I bought this book because I was curious to learn more about transactional analysis and the three ego states: Parent, Adult, and Child. I found the concept of the three egos to be fascinating and was able to quickly identify these states in my daily life. I thought the book was informative, but didn't necessarily agree with some of the nomenclature (winners vs losers kinda made me cringe), and also felt the authors to be a bit reductive at times. Regardless, I definitely gained insight into my own personality through this book and am grateful for that knowledge.

[Cristian Keller · Rating 2 out of 5]

Volevo leggere qualcosa per conoscere meglio l'analisi transazionale.
Purtroppo non credo di aver trovato il testo adatto. Di per sé sono argomenti interessanti ma non sono riuscito ad entrare un sintonia con l'autore. Non sono riuscito a fare gli esercizi proposti, forse per mia mancanza personale di immaginazione.
Probabilmente è solo che il testo è troppo vecchio, gli esempi sono tutti riguardanti un paio di generazioni passate. In alcuni casi sono anche piene zeppe di quelli che ora noi valutiamo come vecchi stereotipi.

[Ellie Hull · Rating 4 out of 5]

For a 50 year old book, I do agree it’s written very well if some of the content has not aged well at all. As someone working in publishing, I also find it’s title completely mystifying and not something I’d have chosen! But a very good intro to TA and the parent, adult and child states so I’d be keen to read something newer on the subject. Definitely more interesting as a layperson than Games People Play!

[Diane · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am enjoying this book so far. Based on the Born to Win part of the title, you might think that it's like a Tony Robbins motivational/self-help book, but it's far more interesting than that in that it delves into ego states and how people react to situations based on Adult, Parent and Child ego states.