Andy Roddick Beat Me with a Frying Pan: Taking the Field with Pro Athletes and Olympic Legends to Answer Sports Fans' Burning Questions

by Todd Gallagher

Massive goalies, midget batters, and Mike Tyson...
Todd Gallagher faced them all to answer your questions

Every sports fan knows that the debates can be almost as interesting as the games themselves (unless you’re a Tampa Bay Devil Rays fan, in which case they're much more interesting). But some debates can never be settled no matter how much you run up your bar tab arguing with your friends.

Well, it’s time to answer your questions once and for

• Could an average guy start in the WNBA?
• Would sumo wrestlers make great NFL linemen?
• How easy is it for pro athletes to get laid?
• How good are pro golfers at miniature golf?
• Do pro athletes really play drunk or high?
• How would a fan hit against a major league pitcher?

To settle more than thirty of sports’ greatest (and most ridiculous) debates, Todd Gallagher has teamed up with coaches, general managers, and athletes—including LeBron James, Mike Tyson, Dwyane Wade, Johan Santana, Eddie George, Jose Canseco, and many others.

But Gallagher didn’t just ask questions. He put these debates to the test—literally. He sent an all-midget lineup up against a pro baseball team. He swam freestyle against a doggie-paddling Olympic gold medalist. He recruited America's #1 darts player to test that uncanny accuracy in beer pong. And, yes, he stuck a frying pan in tennis star Andy Roddick’s hands and went to battle.

The results are hilarious and enlightening. Best of all, once you have the answers you’ll be able to shut up the next loudmouth who tries to debate you at the bar.

Genres: Sports, Nonfiction, Humor

288 pages, Paperback

First published October 2, 2007

Reviews

[Holly Cline · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars. Fun read. Todd Gallagher suffers from the all too common writer's problem where he thinks he's way funnier than he actually is. So many unfunny jokes and unwarranted jabs are stuffed into the book that you could just eye roll yourself to death.

With that said, the book is still fun. It's worth reading for any sports fan. I guarantee almost everyone has taken part in a conversation regarding one of the questions 'answered' within. I guess what keeps this from being the better book it could have been is the inconsistency. Some chapters are well executed with fun experiments. Other chapters are mere summaries of all the bar arguments Gallagher is claiming to settle once and for all.

[Stephanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud read - people stare at me on the train!!

[Joseph Pinchback · Rating 2 out of 5]

You ever read a book and say to yourself, "I'll be willing to bet good money that this author is just a tremendous asshole"? Well, that's the kind of book we are dealing with here. The premise is terrific. The book attempts to answer goofy sports questions, like "What would happen if a team of all midgets played in a Major League Baseball game?" and "Why don't NHL teams just hire really fat goalies and stuff them into the nets?" Some of the questions are really funny, and some of the answers are really fascinating. The deep flaw in this book is that the author lets too much of his personality shine through into his writing. He writes conversationally. If he would have just written the book in a straightforward manner, all would be well. But Gallagher insists on inserting lame little jokes and snarky comments into otherwise interesting material. It's like he took a good idea and covered it with a thin layer of shit. If you are an author and it occurs to you that no one likes you, keep yourself the hell out of your writing.

[Artie · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is SPECTACULAR! for sports fans, especially ones like me who spend too much time watching sports, talking about sports, reading about sports, and generally meditating on the greatness of sports. Todd Gallagher is able to get serious, credible pro athletes to help him gauge his ridiculous ideas (that we've all had or heard about). Can anyone, like Earl "The Goat" Menigault, make change off the backboard? Would a team of midgets be unstoppable in the MLB? How much of a head starts, or what method of cheating would allow some random fatass to beat Olympic Gold Medalist Mo Greene in a sprint? Man... this book is fantastic... but I'd recommend trying to find it in a library or something, because I don't think I'm going to re-read this one all the time.

[Chris · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is for all sports fans. The author goes to great lengths to answers ridiculous sports questions that are only asked after drinking for hours. As the title suggests, he actually played a game of tennis with Andy Roddick, wherein Roddick used a frying pan as a racket. He also has his friend race an Olympic sprinter with the aid of one of those walkways in the airport. He even plays beer pong with a professional dart player! This book is hilarious, and it's very interesting to see how these athletes fair in competition outside of their normal environment. This is a real fast read. You could probably finish this in a day or two with proper time and motivation.

[Brian Sison · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is an amusing collection of essays researching some great sports debates. He touches on pretty much all of the big sports, football, baseball, basketball, hockey, tennis, golf, even NASCAR.

Some of the highlights include an olympic swimmer doggie-paddling, sumo wrestlers as NFL linemen, and the awe-inspiring offense of midget baseball players. Lowlights include the chapters on groupies and the psychic at the rock-paper-scissors tournament.

The writing is good enough, but not spectacular. He seems to only go half-way on some debates jumping to some conclusions while just plain giving up a couple of times. Still, it qualifies as persuasive, informative, and entertaining.

[sncottle · Rating 2 out of 5]

this was a quick and entertaining read. some of the questions that gallagher set out to answer interested me more than others and a few were even answers to arguments that i'd had. for example, could mlb pitchers strike out midgets? and are nascar drivers considered athletes? (answers: no and no). i'm going with just 2 stars, though, because i didn't care for gallagher's tone. mainly, he thinks he much funnier than he actually is. i had the experience several times of reading something and thinking "wait, what? oh...he's trying to be funny." and then mentally, if not actually, rolling my eyes. it certainly detracted from my enjoyment of the book.

[Jim V · Rating 3 out of 5]

This is a wild, entertaing read. The author went around to various sports personalities and dreamed up competitions between himself and the sports star. This isn't just about playing a tennis match vs. Andy Roddick who had to use a frying pan. Each chapter chronicles this guy's "match" with a star(s). For instance, one dealth with the time he played goalie with immensely oversized goalie gear that put him from goalpost to goalpost in width to see if he could shut out the Washington Capitals NHL team in a practice. Another chapter carries the title "Can an Olympic Swimmer Doggie Paddle and Still Beat a Regular Guy?" I found it cute. I'm not too "deep." LOL

[Andy · Rating 3 out of 5]

It's kind of uneven so far. The experiments that come to fruition are generally satisfying, but some of them never go past the the discussion phase. When this happens, there are more attempted jokes, which often feel like weak Dave Barry asides. But it's still pretty enjoyable.

additions after finishing:
The last few segments were very good, and made up for some of the shaky things at the beginning. There's no great build throughout the book, so feel free to dip in and just read the questions that seem interesting.

[Oliver Bateman · Rating 4 out of 5]

A clever, entertaining read. Gallagher isn't half as funny as he thinks he is, but the overall plan of the book is nothing short of brilliant. Questions about obese goalies and frying pan-wielding tennis players have long been the stuff of meandering sports fan chat sessions, so it's about time we got some debate-ending answers.

[Dave · Rating 3 out of 5]

I enjoyed this book. I'm not a sports guy and some of the references, okay, a lot of the references I didn't get...But Gallagher is such a funny writer that it didn't matter that I couldn't care less about the answers to these burning questions.

[Megan · Rating 4 out of 5]

This isn't one of my traditional types of book but after buying it for my husband, I ended up reading the entire thing in a day. It was smart, funny and interesting--especially if you are a sports fan.

[John · Rating 3 out of 5]

this is a funny little book. Nothing deep, just a lot of oddball things.

[Melissa]

I first heard about this book on a morning talk radio show and finally got around to adding it, after the radio show decided to attempt to beat the Washington Mystics women's basketball team.

[amy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Ugh, this is too much of a dude book. But I laughed a lot.

[L · Rating 4 out of 5]

Laugh out loud funny... the kind of book that earns you weird looks on the subway. Not all of the essays were hilarious, but those that were made up for those that weren't.

[Alpha · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really liked this, but it combines sports and random hypotheticals, so how could I not?