The Benefits of Friends: Inside the Complicated World of Today's Sororities and Fraternities

by Jana Mathews

In 2011, Jana Mathews's career took a surprising turn. What began as an effort for a newly minted college professor to get to know her students turned into an invitation to be initiated into a National Panhellenic Conference sorority and serve as its faculty advisor. For the next seven years, Mathews attended sorority and fraternity chapter meetings, Greek Week competitions, leadership retreats, and mixers and formals. She also counseled young men and women through mental health crises, experiences of sexual violence, and drug and alcohol abuse. Combining her personal observations with ethnographic field analysis and research culled from the fields of sociology, economics, and cognitive psychology, this thought-provoking book examines how white Greek letter organizations help reshape the conceptual boundaries of society's most foundational relationship categories—including friend, romantic partner, and family.

Mathews illuminates how organizations manipulate campus sex ratios to foster hookup culture, broker romantic relationships, transfer intimacy to straight same-sex friends, and create fictive family units that hoard social and economic opportunity for their members. In their idealized form, sororities and fraternities function as familial surrogates that tether their members together in economically and socially productive ways. In their most warped manifestations, however, these fictive familial bonds reinforce insularity, entrench privilege, and—at times—threaten physical safety.

Genres: Nonfiction

338 pages, Kindle Edition

Published August 2, 2022

Reviews

[Madison · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 - sometimes read like an academic paper but I appreciated Mathews's perspective

[Matt Ely · Rating 5 out of 5]

Although it's an academic text, it's very readable and engaging. Mathews breaks down big ideas into digestible topics, and just about every time I thought "Okay, but what about..." she was already ahead of me and responded to the question.

This is an effective, broad inquiry into the experience of "top-tier" fraternities and sororities at the colleges in which they have the largest impact. I never had the opportunity to be in a frat as my college didn't have them (alas and alack), but I still found myself identifying with much that the author found about homosocial bonding and its role in the college campus.

The text reads quickly and helped me develop the language to ask further questions. I think it satisfied all it attempted to do and was engaging all the while.

[Jennifer · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book truly makes you wonder why the Greek system continues to exist in the 21st century. Written by an alumnae initiation and both a sorority and fraternity advisor, the author didn’t have a traditional college Greek experience, which I would like to think grants her impartiality.

As someone who joined a sorority last century, I recognize that students today are different. Unfortunately, the march of time does not seem to have benefitted these groups. If anything, the worst parts of the system: hazing, binge drinking and sexual misconduct continue to flourish.

The one section I wish was highlighted in the book is whether the groups contribute anything of value in today’s society. I would like to believe that the leadership skills and philanthropy support I learned at university are still good reasons for students to join.

Alas, one of the few membership benefits she cites is how ardently fraternity brothers work to get jobs for their progeny. That in the time when they can no longer directly hire their own sons, they help their fraternity brothers ensure their sons are hired at investment banks, consulting firms and think tanks, through internships and post-graduation jobs.

Maybe this continuation of the patriarchy by white men isn’t the only reason to burn down the whole system. It’s certainly not one that makes me feel good about how young men and women are being prepared for adulthood.

[Edward Hansen · Rating 3 out of 5]

I have mixed thoughts on this. Going in, I didn’t realize how much this was an academic book. While surprising. I enjoyed many of the facts and stories that went into the text. The title, however, was a bit misleading. The author didn’t discuss the benefits until the end of the book, and limited those to post graduation.

When I look back on my experience in the fraternity, I have memories of shared activities, joining together to accomplish more than you could as individuals, having help when needed, and feeling supported.

I don’t think the money and time I put into fraternity life would be well spent if it was just about my career, or just about the social aspect. There was an intangible “more” that I experienced, which I hoped World have been captured in this book. It wasn’t.

Maybe in the sequel?

[Charlotte Hogg · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is ambitious in scope and carefully researched with a voice both critical and generous. This is a must-read for anyone who wants to know about the culture of Greek-letter organizations without the "gotcha," expose feel of many in this genre.

[Logan Frederick Ly · Rating 5 out of 5]

Brilliantly researched - it took me right back to my Sigma Chi fraternity days (with all the beautiful and harrowing memories of it). This book really lifts a veil on the inner sociological workings of Greek letter secret societies quite accurately, and that’s all I’ll say on it.

[Charles Hawes · Rating 5 out of 5]

A deep dive into FSL, looking at the good, the dangerous, and the psychological realities behind both.