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The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays
2023 Story Circle Network Gilda Prize Winner
2023 American Bookfest Best Book Award: Winner in Creative Nonfiction, Finalist in Best New Nonfiction, Finalist in Parenting & Family
2023 Literary Titan Book Award Gold Winner
Every fall, millions of high school seniors agonize over how to respond to college application essay prompts. In a timely, incisive memoir that blends humor and heartache, Irena Smith takes a stab at answering them as an adult.
Irena is a Russian Jewish immigrant, a PhD in comparative literature, a former Stanford admissions officer, and a private college counselor in Palo Alto, California—a city where everyone has to be good at something and where success often means the name of a prestigious college on the back of a late-model luxury car. But as Irena works with some of the most ambitious, tightly wound students in the world, she struggles to keep her own family from unraveling, and that sharp-edged divide lies at the heart of her memoir.
The Golden Ticket is narrated using a form Irena knows best: college application essay prompts. In her responses, Irena weaves together personal history, sharp social commentary, and the lessons of literature ranging from The Odyssey to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Her memoir asks difficult questions—what exactly do parents mean when they say they want the best for their children? what happens when the best of intentions result in unexpected consequences?—and envisions a broader, more generous view of what it means to succeed.
2023 American Bookfest Best Book Award: Winner in Creative Nonfiction, Finalist in Best New Nonfiction, Finalist in Parenting & Family
2023 Literary Titan Book Award Gold Winner
Every fall, millions of high school seniors agonize over how to respond to college application essay prompts. In a timely, incisive memoir that blends humor and heartache, Irena Smith takes a stab at answering them as an adult.
Irena is a Russian Jewish immigrant, a PhD in comparative literature, a former Stanford admissions officer, and a private college counselor in Palo Alto, California—a city where everyone has to be good at something and where success often means the name of a prestigious college on the back of a late-model luxury car. But as Irena works with some of the most ambitious, tightly wound students in the world, she struggles to keep her own family from unraveling, and that sharp-edged divide lies at the heart of her memoir.
The Golden Ticket is narrated using a form Irena knows best: college application essay prompts. In her responses, Irena weaves together personal history, sharp social commentary, and the lessons of literature ranging from The Odyssey to Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. Her memoir asks difficult questions—what exactly do parents mean when they say they want the best for their children? what happens when the best of intentions result in unexpected consequences?—and envisions a broader, more generous view of what it means to succeed.
256 pages, Paperback
First published April 18, 2023
43 people are currently reading
2582 people want to read
About the author
Irena Smith
3 books36 followersIrena Smith is the author of the award-winning memoir, The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays and the forthcoming Troika: Three Generations, Three Days, and a Very American Road Trip. Her obsession with how words work began early (as a child growing up in Soviet Russia, she was known to occasionally stand on furniture and recite Pushkin poems). After emigrating to the United States with her parents and swearing up and down that she would never learn to speak English, she went on to earn a PhD in Comparative Literature and taught literature and writing at UCLA and Stanford before transitioning to college admissions work and writing.
Irena currently writes two Substacks—Personal Statements and The Curmudgeon’s Guide to College Admissions—and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she enjoys eavesdropping on conversations in public places, complaining about traffic, and championing the Oxford comma at every opportunity.
Irena currently writes two Substacks—Personal Statements and The Curmudgeon’s Guide to College Admissions—and lives in the San Francisco Bay Area, where she enjoys eavesdropping on conversations in public places, complaining about traffic, and championing the Oxford comma at every opportunity.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 103 reviews
June 9, 2023
If you, my fellow reader, have not already read The Golden Ticket then please know you are in for the dazzle and delight of spending time on the page with Irena Smith.
Now I am a little biased*, but to paraphrase Walt Whitman, The Golden Ticket is not a large book but it contains multitudes. It is a vivid personal memoir and a crackling social commentary; it is sometimes poignant, sometimes triumphant, and often snortingly funny; it is about being a college consultant to students (and their parents) who desperately want to get into the most selective colleges in the country and about being a parent who desperately wants to help her young son diagnosed with autism; it is a master class in the art of the personal essay and of how to bring a voice and character to life on the page.
Smith effortlessly weaves together her personal experiences and references to narratives up and down the card catalog—sometimes weighty (Homer, James, Bulgakov) and sometimes not (Wonka, Gilligan, Skywalker)—and typically with an emphasis on parents striving to make a better life for their families, to help their children be successful. However, how to define success—what exactly is the golden ticket?—that's the territory Smith explores.
So who is the book for? I think it is for:
● Students who would like to be inspired to read deeply and to write authentically.
● Students who could benefit from knowing that not getting into Stanford is okay.
● Parents wanting a behind the scenes look at the college admissions process.
● Parents who could benefit from knowing that not getting into Stanford is okay.
● People looking for a thoughtful and nuanced description of the blender of emotions, challenges, and gifts of being the parent of neurodiverse children.
● A look at American culture from a Soviet era Jewish emigree who came to the US as a 9 year old speaking no English and who then grew into a PhD in literature adept at using everything from Nabokov to The Brady Bunch as lenses into some of the tensions and paradoxes of what it means to be American.
● Anyone who wants to be inspired to read more. I can't emphasize enough how skilled Smith is at making literature engaging and enticing in just a sentence or two. I bet you will want to dive into every one of the books she mentions in The Golden Ticket. Her reference list at the end of the book is a delicious place to start.
● In other words, anyone who would like to read a crackerjack memoir written by a charming, perceptive, and witty new writer.
*full disclosure, I am married to Irena. I also read a lot (follow me for some usually pithy reviews) and Irena's book is really that good. Like book of the year good. Please read it, and if you enjoy it please recommend it. #HusbandoftheAuthor
Now I am a little biased*, but to paraphrase Walt Whitman, The Golden Ticket is not a large book but it contains multitudes. It is a vivid personal memoir and a crackling social commentary; it is sometimes poignant, sometimes triumphant, and often snortingly funny; it is about being a college consultant to students (and their parents) who desperately want to get into the most selective colleges in the country and about being a parent who desperately wants to help her young son diagnosed with autism; it is a master class in the art of the personal essay and of how to bring a voice and character to life on the page.
Smith effortlessly weaves together her personal experiences and references to narratives up and down the card catalog—sometimes weighty (Homer, James, Bulgakov) and sometimes not (Wonka, Gilligan, Skywalker)—and typically with an emphasis on parents striving to make a better life for their families, to help their children be successful. However, how to define success—what exactly is the golden ticket?—that's the territory Smith explores.
So who is the book for? I think it is for:
● Students who would like to be inspired to read deeply and to write authentically.
● Students who could benefit from knowing that not getting into Stanford is okay.
● Parents wanting a behind the scenes look at the college admissions process.
● Parents who could benefit from knowing that not getting into Stanford is okay.
● People looking for a thoughtful and nuanced description of the blender of emotions, challenges, and gifts of being the parent of neurodiverse children.
● A look at American culture from a Soviet era Jewish emigree who came to the US as a 9 year old speaking no English and who then grew into a PhD in literature adept at using everything from Nabokov to The Brady Bunch as lenses into some of the tensions and paradoxes of what it means to be American.
● Anyone who wants to be inspired to read more. I can't emphasize enough how skilled Smith is at making literature engaging and enticing in just a sentence or two. I bet you will want to dive into every one of the books she mentions in The Golden Ticket. Her reference list at the end of the book is a delicious place to start.
● In other words, anyone who would like to read a crackerjack memoir written by a charming, perceptive, and witty new writer.
*full disclosure, I am married to Irena. I also read a lot (follow me for some usually pithy reviews) and Irena's book is really that good. Like book of the year good. Please read it, and if you enjoy it please recommend it. #HusbandoftheAuthor
September 30, 2022
There’s nothing like watching your child grappling with college admissions essays—and wondering how to support him as he tries to answer big questions for (and about) himself—to make you think hard about both your parenting and this process. So Irena Smith’s gorgeous memoir about advising some of the most high-achieving students in the most pressure-cooker community—while her own three children floundered in various ways—dropped into my household at just the right time.
“I’ve been living,” she writes, “at the intersection of unbridled ambition and family dysfunction for two decades now, and you learn a thing or two living there – including that there are parents who will stop at nothing to do what they think is best for their children. Myself included.”
She is perfectly positioned to reflect on our (misguided) culture of achievement generally, the college admission process specifically, and parenting through all of it. But she doesn’t take that position for granted; she offers her hard-won insights with rueful honesty and wry humor (“Believe me,” she wants to tell a student, “nobody cares about your being treasurer of the French club, unless you embezzled money from the croissant fundraiser or some thing. That would be a good story, though not a good way to get into college.”) It is a compelling read for any parent.
I loved how beautifully her essays responded to the college essay prompts. Some are very direct, some more subtle, and some, like the response to the University of Chicago’s “Solve for X,” turn that frankly obnoxious open-ended prompt right on its head by telling the story of having, after two sons, a daughter.
The thing about a book written by a college counselor is not so much that it’s full of advice—she is too wise to offer it, knowing it would likely come back to bite her. Instead, the book is full of heart.
“Let’s face it: in the drama of our own lives, we all want to be both deserving and lucky. We want to be Odysseus, not the suitors; Cinderella, not the stepsisters; Charlie Bucket, not Verruca Salt or Augustus Gloop. And then David and I became parents, and parenthood undid us. It left us bruised and battered and humbled. It taught us things about ourselves we would have preferred not to know: that we were flawed, that they we were vain, and we cared more about what others thought than was probably healthy, that we sometimes sought refuge in work, which felt easier than parenting three children we couldn’t understand. But we also learned how fiercely we were capable of loving, how hard we were willing to fight, how deeply proud we would be of their victories, large as well as small.”
A disclaimer: I’ve worked with Irena and she’s become a friend over our years of sharing reading and writing.
“I’ve been living,” she writes, “at the intersection of unbridled ambition and family dysfunction for two decades now, and you learn a thing or two living there – including that there are parents who will stop at nothing to do what they think is best for their children. Myself included.”
She is perfectly positioned to reflect on our (misguided) culture of achievement generally, the college admission process specifically, and parenting through all of it. But she doesn’t take that position for granted; she offers her hard-won insights with rueful honesty and wry humor (“Believe me,” she wants to tell a student, “nobody cares about your being treasurer of the French club, unless you embezzled money from the croissant fundraiser or some thing. That would be a good story, though not a good way to get into college.”) It is a compelling read for any parent.
I loved how beautifully her essays responded to the college essay prompts. Some are very direct, some more subtle, and some, like the response to the University of Chicago’s “Solve for X,” turn that frankly obnoxious open-ended prompt right on its head by telling the story of having, after two sons, a daughter.
The thing about a book written by a college counselor is not so much that it’s full of advice—she is too wise to offer it, knowing it would likely come back to bite her. Instead, the book is full of heart.
“Let’s face it: in the drama of our own lives, we all want to be both deserving and lucky. We want to be Odysseus, not the suitors; Cinderella, not the stepsisters; Charlie Bucket, not Verruca Salt or Augustus Gloop. And then David and I became parents, and parenthood undid us. It left us bruised and battered and humbled. It taught us things about ourselves we would have preferred not to know: that we were flawed, that they we were vain, and we cared more about what others thought than was probably healthy, that we sometimes sought refuge in work, which felt easier than parenting three children we couldn’t understand. But we also learned how fiercely we were capable of loving, how hard we were willing to fight, how deeply proud we would be of their victories, large as well as small.”
A disclaimer: I’ve worked with Irena and she’s become a friend over our years of sharing reading and writing.
April 22, 2023
I loved these essays’ reflections on parenting, ambition, education, and their various intersections. There is so much thoughtful social commentary in these pages— so much we benefit from being shown and reminded of— but Smith’s tone is never sanctimonious (in fact, it is its opposite).
This should be recommended reading for every parent/teacher/ person working with teens (no matter what your kids’ or students’ future plans are/ whether they’re applying to college or not/ whether they are “exceptional” or struggling or have learning differences); these pages speak philosophically to a broad variety of circumstances, contexts, and choices.
This should be recommended reading for every parent/teacher/ person working with teens (no matter what your kids’ or students’ future plans are/ whether they’re applying to college or not/ whether they are “exceptional” or struggling or have learning differences); these pages speak philosophically to a broad variety of circumstances, contexts, and choices.
April 18, 2023
“What does it mean, really, to keep a child, safe? Does it means smoothing the road ahead of them, padding the corners, protecting them from disappointment, or does it mean putting them in a leaky boat on an ocean or pushing them into the thickets to find their own way or subjecting them to trials of strength and wit?”
Wow. The Golden Ticket: A Life In College Admissions Essays is powerful and raw and brutally honest and I read it in one sitting.
With humor and wit Irene tells her life story thus far, structured as answers to college application questions. Genius! This book dives deep into the pressure on kids to live up to their parents unmet dreams, the lunacy that is the result of this pressure, and why, exactly, is what college your kid gets into such a big deal anyway? Who said so? Fascinating.
She also gives the reader a raw and unfiltered look into her and her husbands own perceived shortcomings with their children and their struggles with autism and ADHD. We should all be that aware and honest in our own lives. I am moved. Truly.
Thank you to @BookSparks & @Irena.Smith for this #gifted copy.
Wow. The Golden Ticket: A Life In College Admissions Essays is powerful and raw and brutally honest and I read it in one sitting.
With humor and wit Irene tells her life story thus far, structured as answers to college application questions. Genius! This book dives deep into the pressure on kids to live up to their parents unmet dreams, the lunacy that is the result of this pressure, and why, exactly, is what college your kid gets into such a big deal anyway? Who said so? Fascinating.
She also gives the reader a raw and unfiltered look into her and her husbands own perceived shortcomings with their children and their struggles with autism and ADHD. We should all be that aware and honest in our own lives. I am moved. Truly.
Thank you to @BookSparks & @Irena.Smith for this #gifted copy.
June 12, 2023
WOW what a stunning reminder that where you go to school (or didn’t get in) is the least interesting part about you. going to high school where conversations seemed to focus solely on where you wanted to go and then shifted to where you got in made college applications and acceptance/rejection an anxiety-inducing and shame-provoking process. yet in her memoir, Irena Smith completely reshapes this idea, reminding us to live a life full of the things we love and then see where that lands us, rather than shaping and editing and packaging ourselves to fulfill an ideal.
so much wisdom, healing, and meaning-searching in such a small book. definitely one I would recommend to high schoolers applying, students attending, or anyone who exists at all, at least for the last vignette itself
“I liked the idea that words could be blazing hot or bone-cold, or even lukewarm.”
“there are times, and this was one of them, where x solves for itself” recalls yanagihara’s x=x, the reflexive property of us only ever getting to be who we are, yet adds a wrinkle in that i am a mirror of my mom… both a solution and an entirely new problem
“all good stories—tragedy and comedy both—are all about what isn’t supposed to happen, and about what happens after that. it’s the knot in the rope, it’s the irritation in the oyster, the disruption that drives narratives forward.”
so much wisdom, healing, and meaning-searching in such a small book. definitely one I would recommend to high schoolers applying, students attending, or anyone who exists at all, at least for the last vignette itself
“I liked the idea that words could be blazing hot or bone-cold, or even lukewarm.”
“there are times, and this was one of them, where x solves for itself” recalls yanagihara’s x=x, the reflexive property of us only ever getting to be who we are, yet adds a wrinkle in that i am a mirror of my mom… both a solution and an entirely new problem
“all good stories—tragedy and comedy both—are all about what isn’t supposed to happen, and about what happens after that. it’s the knot in the rope, it’s the irritation in the oyster, the disruption that drives narratives forward.”
May 5, 2023
In this memoir, college counselor Irena Smith tells the story of her life in a series of responses to college application essay questions. These essays cover her own childhood in the Soviet Union and later as an immigrant to the U.S., her relationship with her husband, their eldest son who is autistic, and their other two children, who have their own struggles, and anecdotes from her career helping the wealthy get their kids into the prestigious schools of their dreams.
This author's honesty and vulnerability had a strong impact on me as a reader and as a parent. Her candid discussions of her kids' difficulties and her own feelings of inadequacy were relatable, and I could really feel the tension between her daily reality and the lives of the students she helps apply to college. I was also fascinated by the behind-the-scenes look into the college admissions process and the somewhat arbitrary nature of how students are selected for admission.
I loved the format of this book and the author's writing style. I found it to be a perfect blend of the author's own story and interesting scenes from her work life. Any reader who is interested in higher education and parenting, or who loves a quick, enjoyable memoir should look for this book!
This author's honesty and vulnerability had a strong impact on me as a reader and as a parent. Her candid discussions of her kids' difficulties and her own feelings of inadequacy were relatable, and I could really feel the tension between her daily reality and the lives of the students she helps apply to college. I was also fascinated by the behind-the-scenes look into the college admissions process and the somewhat arbitrary nature of how students are selected for admission.
I loved the format of this book and the author's writing style. I found it to be a perfect blend of the author's own story and interesting scenes from her work life. Any reader who is interested in higher education and parenting, or who loves a quick, enjoyable memoir should look for this book!
July 7, 2023
I love this book! If you are a child of the 80s, a parent, or familiar with today’s college process, this should be your next read. At first glance, it could be perceived as a Stanford Admissions Counselor “tell all,” but it’s more personal and poignant than that. The author cleverly tells her story by responding to college essay prompts. Her wit and frequent literary references round it out to make it a near-perfect read.
April 13, 2023
I thoroughly enjoyed reading The Golden Ticket: A Life in College Admissions Essays by Irena Smith. The author uses college application prompts to share her story, the stories of her students and families while weaving in valuable lessons about living life. The author has the gift of sharing about her family while being real, funny and thoughtful. Her honesty is refreshing, and her story will resonate with anyone who has had a struggle with a child.
As the mom of students who have filled out many college applications I deeply appreciated her humorous, insightful and honest views on the college admittance process. She has a gracious way of putting the process in perspective, making you laugh out loud, and reminding you what is really important in life. I highly recommend The Golden Ticket by Irena Smith.
I was given a copy by the publisher and not required to write a positive review.
As the mom of students who have filled out many college applications I deeply appreciated her humorous, insightful and honest views on the college admittance process. She has a gracious way of putting the process in perspective, making you laugh out loud, and reminding you what is really important in life. I highly recommend The Golden Ticket by Irena Smith.
I was given a copy by the publisher and not required to write a positive review.
July 27, 2024
Honestly, this book took my breath away. Perhaps it is because I feel like I am in the middle of my own existential crisis, or because I’m looking so carefully at the stories others tell and the words they choose to give meaning to those experiences. Or maybe it’s because I’m trying to create something to send into the world, and I’m terrified that it will not live up to my expectations once It’s out there. Regardless of the reason, Irena Smith’s essays touched something deep inside of me, and I have so much more compassion for the parents of my students, and the students themselves—really everyone who is just doing the best they can regardless of appearances.
I know I made this review all about me. For an actual description, check out this review instead: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
I know I made this review all about me. For an actual description, check out this review instead: https://www.goodreads.com/review/show...
January 23, 2024
Wow. An amazing book and I’m a bit biased given I work at UCLA in the humanities and know and have my own stories of the Comparative Literature professors Smith talks lovingly about. What really hit home is the look into how college admission really parallels life and the author weaves her own life in a clever “answer these admissions questions” way to show you that - my favorite quote is “College admissions is arbitrary and howlingly unfair. As a matter of fact, it’s a lot like life” now I want Smith as our next Commencement speaker :)
February 21, 2024
Powerfully written and cleverly constructed. Alarmingly relatable in some ways. HIGHLY recommend. Will likely re-read at some point.
May 19, 2023
This is the kind of book that really haunts you. The author’s very genuine, authentic, raw and humorous story of her life, and that of her family, is very moving. At times you feel, as a reader, that you yourself are in the Hour of Lead referenced in the Emily Dickinson essay, right there in the trenches with the author. And the college-essay construction is thoughtful, and works elegantly.
The nervous anxiety of the high-performing Californian-based intellectual crackles off the page. The book had me in a state of tension even just reading about the almost-inevitably-doomed quest for college “prestige” and Ivy League success, let alone the author’s additional life challenges. It made me grateful for living where the whole life and college application experience is less fraught.
The nervous anxiety of the high-performing Californian-based intellectual crackles off the page. The book had me in a state of tension even just reading about the almost-inevitably-doomed quest for college “prestige” and Ivy League success, let alone the author’s additional life challenges. It made me grateful for living where the whole life and college application experience is less fraught.
October 24, 2023
I would have never picked up this book off a shelf. Reading (therefore stressing) about college admissions essays - No thank you! Been there done that for myself and I’d like to hide in a hole about the impending essays my children will have to write much sooner than I’d like to think about.
Reading about someone with relatable struggles who has the right amount of snark, yes please.
This is a satrical memoir that goes so much deeper than college admissions essays. I think the recommendation sweet spot for this book is any parent who has a kid that is OR is not college bound. I also think anyone who wants to read about being an immigrant, dealing with depression, neurodivergence, ADHD, therapy, suicide, and/or struggling to achieve the “American dream”, would enjoy this read as well. And there are indeed tips about writing the perfect college essay - but that’s not the point - which IS the point. Just read it.
Reading about someone with relatable struggles who has the right amount of snark, yes please.
This is a satrical memoir that goes so much deeper than college admissions essays. I think the recommendation sweet spot for this book is any parent who has a kid that is OR is not college bound. I also think anyone who wants to read about being an immigrant, dealing with depression, neurodivergence, ADHD, therapy, suicide, and/or struggling to achieve the “American dream”, would enjoy this read as well. And there are indeed tips about writing the perfect college essay - but that’s not the point - which IS the point. Just read it.
July 23, 2023
It is very odd that there are many glowing reviews of this book here and on StoryGraph by the author, her husband and people who have worked with her or know her personally. You’d think that a college admissions professional would know how fake that seems.
Strangely not really about college admissions but about this woman, the children she flat out says she has second thoughts about having (which is fine and honest) and sending them to “therapeutic” wilderness camps because they are autistic, using drugs and she doesn’t share why for the last child. It was honestly kind of disturbing. She can be funny at times but the way they dealt with the children and she talked about them, particularly her son is autistic was horrifying.
I guess it was a contrast between her helping children get into elite colleges and her and her mental health professional husband’s choice to send their children away to what has been known for many years to be an abusive “therapy” situation but her job was really irrelevant here.
It was a very different book than I expected. I’d love to know her children’s side of things, I’ve never read about parents who are so eager to try to ship their children off to boarding school or these wilderness camps for their behavior before. In one part, while their oldest child who is autistic is a teenager, a stranger is with him for a few minutes at a boarding school they are trying to off load him on and comes back and says how much their son loves them and wants their approval and she says it never occurred to her that their child loved her. Instead they end up sending him to Utah to a wilderness camp that has since shut down. He goes on to return home and graduate college. Her daughter is sent to the wilderness camp after it is found she had been self medicating for anxiety all through high school (despite being in therapy) and accidentally overdoes on some laced Xanax and being told that if she doesn’t go they are kicking her out of the house right at the beginning of the Covid lockdown.
I will say she is very honest in saying they had more children because they wanted neurotypical children after their first child was diagnosed as being autistic. She is honest about wanting them out of her house when they are having behavioral issues. Her husband seems very cold and ready to cut off the children at any moment and it’s a cliche but I feel bad for his patients.
She never seems to take any responsibility along with her husband for what is going on in their home. It’s like it’s a big mystery she blames on her children not being neurotypical (her other two children have ADHD) and their behavior even though they are children. She vaguely admits they tend to focus too much on their work but what is going on in this house?
Strangely not really about college admissions but about this woman, the children she flat out says she has second thoughts about having (which is fine and honest) and sending them to “therapeutic” wilderness camps because they are autistic, using drugs and she doesn’t share why for the last child. It was honestly kind of disturbing. She can be funny at times but the way they dealt with the children and she talked about them, particularly her son is autistic was horrifying.
I guess it was a contrast between her helping children get into elite colleges and her and her mental health professional husband’s choice to send their children away to what has been known for many years to be an abusive “therapy” situation but her job was really irrelevant here.
It was a very different book than I expected. I’d love to know her children’s side of things, I’ve never read about parents who are so eager to try to ship their children off to boarding school or these wilderness camps for their behavior before. In one part, while their oldest child who is autistic is a teenager, a stranger is with him for a few minutes at a boarding school they are trying to off load him on and comes back and says how much their son loves them and wants their approval and she says it never occurred to her that their child loved her. Instead they end up sending him to Utah to a wilderness camp that has since shut down. He goes on to return home and graduate college. Her daughter is sent to the wilderness camp after it is found she had been self medicating for anxiety all through high school (despite being in therapy) and accidentally overdoes on some laced Xanax and being told that if she doesn’t go they are kicking her out of the house right at the beginning of the Covid lockdown.
I will say she is very honest in saying they had more children because they wanted neurotypical children after their first child was diagnosed as being autistic. She is honest about wanting them out of her house when they are having behavioral issues. Her husband seems very cold and ready to cut off the children at any moment and it’s a cliche but I feel bad for his patients.
She never seems to take any responsibility along with her husband for what is going on in their home. It’s like it’s a big mystery she blames on her children not being neurotypical (her other two children have ADHD) and their behavior even though they are children. She vaguely admits they tend to focus too much on their work but what is going on in this house?
May 21, 2023
I love how raw and real the author was willing to be about parenting and her own immigrant experience. The state of affairs in college admissions is a capitalist fever dream that sickens me, but I loved hearing about the kids who struggle against all odds and all the literary references that inspire Irena. I grew very attached to her voice and will miss the book now that I’m finished. I hope she will write more books.
February 22, 2024
Thanks to Kevin J for the idea of reading this. I found the book fascinating, especially the juxtaposition of the author’s profession and her experience with her own children. This book made me glad that I’m not currently applying to college and grateful for what I recall as being a fairly pain-free process in 1999. Kudos to her for helping shepherd students through this process and for her patience and restraint when it came to dealing with demanding parents.
May 30, 2023
I dont even know how to begin my review of this book. 5-stars, sure, absolutely. But beyond that this was a deeply personal book because not only am I friends with the author Irena Smith, but her whole family, and getting to read her book while imagining her voice, tone, and inflection with every single syllable was an extremely special experience for me.
Oh yeah, and of course it's well written full of dark humor, sarcasm, wit, and an eye opening view of what "success" and "happiness" truly are and how people achieve that happiness or success. I learned plenty about an independent college admission counselor, sure, but more importantly I learned about Irena, her husband David, and their family who I already thought i knew, but my love, appreciation, admiration for them got even higher than what I thought was already the maximum.
I really adored how much detail Irena Smith went I to her life, not only as a Russian Jewish immigrant, but the intimate and maybe not so flattering side of raising her family while doing what she does. The parallel of what we think equals success or achievements or happiness in many ways to me I saw as parallels Irena being like her students: a plus b plus c equals success, right?
In no way am I saying Irena in all of her legitimate wisdom and experience is like a naive potential college entry student with desperation to achieve... something, but I saw it as a huge exercise in empathy and comparison. Irena has the intimate knowledge and empathy for her students and students parents which is what makes her an absolute ringer for extracting the pearl of what makes someone life story stand out. She knows that students and parents who are obsessed with grades, scores, essays, or simply the name of their prestigious school or city is what it takes for success. Her experiences in life gave her the empathy to be so successful in her career (imho) especially combined with her innate intelligence and go-get-'em attitude.
As Irena says, prestige is highly overrated compared to actual happiness. At the end of the day having your family in one happy piece (and peace) is the real version of success. Irena went through far more hardships growing up than I ever imagined, and to see this hilarious friend I've known for 20 years in even greater light was something I thought impossible. Same goes for her husband David Smith, and their 3 kids.
Selfishly my truly favorite parts of the book were the numerous chapters about her kids who I've also known for years and years. You'd think an author writing about her family would be like a lengthy Christmas card, filled with mostly positives and successes. But frankly, most of her content is the opposite. It gave me a new window of knowing who these people were and the deep honest of Irenas words kept me enthralled. I felt omnipresent reading her words about conflicts in the home. I felt like I was invisible hovering over these past events like Scrouge in A Christmas Carol (see, I can make literally allusions too!) Although allusion in omnipresentness only. I gained such a new appreciation for her family and what they've been through. I loved this somewhat "unflattering" (at times) exposition on a family I already cared so much for. It was like a 1 eay deep conversation you have with close friends far deeper than the surface level as we constantly experience. I felt I was in the bowels of what the truth is about the Smith family and how it tied to Irenas career.
I love that Irena went to all the vulnerable places in her life and wrote them into this book. It makes her story that much more honest, authentic, and devoid of any bullshit and fakeness. I can't say how much I appreciated this story and this book and how much more love I have for the Smith family. Now, how many sleeps till Montecito?
P.s. I kind of barfed this review out. I thought about holding off until I could relax and take my time. That way it would be more "accurate" about my true thought all neatly typed out. However I just wanted to speak from the heart. Each sentence was basically instinct, and that's how I wanted this to be. Perhaps disproportionate and not all that grammatically correct, I don't care, because I wrote from the heart in spite of a lack of grace. I did this because I wanted to, but also out of respect for my admiration for this book and the Smiths, and I hope it is taken that way.
Oh yeah, and of course it's well written full of dark humor, sarcasm, wit, and an eye opening view of what "success" and "happiness" truly are and how people achieve that happiness or success. I learned plenty about an independent college admission counselor, sure, but more importantly I learned about Irena, her husband David, and their family who I already thought i knew, but my love, appreciation, admiration for them got even higher than what I thought was already the maximum.
I really adored how much detail Irena Smith went I to her life, not only as a Russian Jewish immigrant, but the intimate and maybe not so flattering side of raising her family while doing what she does. The parallel of what we think equals success or achievements or happiness in many ways to me I saw as parallels Irena being like her students: a plus b plus c equals success, right?
In no way am I saying Irena in all of her legitimate wisdom and experience is like a naive potential college entry student with desperation to achieve... something, but I saw it as a huge exercise in empathy and comparison. Irena has the intimate knowledge and empathy for her students and students parents which is what makes her an absolute ringer for extracting the pearl of what makes someone life story stand out. She knows that students and parents who are obsessed with grades, scores, essays, or simply the name of their prestigious school or city is what it takes for success. Her experiences in life gave her the empathy to be so successful in her career (imho) especially combined with her innate intelligence and go-get-'em attitude.
As Irena says, prestige is highly overrated compared to actual happiness. At the end of the day having your family in one happy piece (and peace) is the real version of success. Irena went through far more hardships growing up than I ever imagined, and to see this hilarious friend I've known for 20 years in even greater light was something I thought impossible. Same goes for her husband David Smith, and their 3 kids.
Selfishly my truly favorite parts of the book were the numerous chapters about her kids who I've also known for years and years. You'd think an author writing about her family would be like a lengthy Christmas card, filled with mostly positives and successes. But frankly, most of her content is the opposite. It gave me a new window of knowing who these people were and the deep honest of Irenas words kept me enthralled. I felt omnipresent reading her words about conflicts in the home. I felt like I was invisible hovering over these past events like Scrouge in A Christmas Carol (see, I can make literally allusions too!) Although allusion in omnipresentness only. I gained such a new appreciation for her family and what they've been through. I loved this somewhat "unflattering" (at times) exposition on a family I already cared so much for. It was like a 1 eay deep conversation you have with close friends far deeper than the surface level as we constantly experience. I felt I was in the bowels of what the truth is about the Smith family and how it tied to Irenas career.
I love that Irena went to all the vulnerable places in her life and wrote them into this book. It makes her story that much more honest, authentic, and devoid of any bullshit and fakeness. I can't say how much I appreciated this story and this book and how much more love I have for the Smith family. Now, how many sleeps till Montecito?
P.s. I kind of barfed this review out. I thought about holding off until I could relax and take my time. That way it would be more "accurate" about my true thought all neatly typed out. However I just wanted to speak from the heart. Each sentence was basically instinct, and that's how I wanted this to be. Perhaps disproportionate and not all that grammatically correct, I don't care, because I wrote from the heart in spite of a lack of grace. I did this because I wanted to, but also out of respect for my admiration for this book and the Smiths, and I hope it is taken that way.
September 13, 2023
An incredibly engrossing, well-written, intelligent, funny, dark, and vivid memoir by Irena Smith, an independent college counselor who lives in the San Francisco Bay Area. This is a can't miss book and wildly exceeded my expectations.
Do not be fooled: If you are a student looking for a how-to book on how to write an exceptional college essay, or you are a parent who is looking for ways to maximize your child getting into an elite private school or prestigious public school, then this is not the book. Irena is more interested in imparting very important life lessons, and this book is a memoir, not a guidebook. Other than the first few pages of the book, she does not talk much about college admissions until page 106.
But the candor with which she writes about her childhood, from being born and spending the first few years of her life in the USSR, to moving with her family to San Francisco, is truly remarkable. Her perspective of being Jewish and of being an immigrant is so well-written. Her idyllic class trip to Europe that turns into a nightmare because of a Visa issue and a night of drinking and youthful indiscretion is one of the stories that for me was a metaphor of the entire book: Searingly honest, endearingly funny, and even head-shakingly tragic.
Irena also writes a no-holds-barred account of parenthood, of raising her son Jordan, who is diagnosed with autism, as well as her son Noah and daughter Mara, the latter two whom have ADHD. She talks about the hard decisions that she and her husband have to make and how difficult it can be for her to be seen one way by the students she advises on the college process and yet how her own kids can have such contempt for her. She talks about Jordan's attempt at committing suicide - he thinks about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge - to Mara's near death after a drug overdose - which took place in their own family home.
And then there are the admissions essay prompts to begin each chapter of the book. Some of my favorite ones:
"What is fairness in the world? Is merit always the pinnacle of fairness in education?" -Essay question from Penn State
"If you could change one thing to better your community, what would it be? Why is it important and how would you contribute to this change?" -Essay question, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
"Many of us have at least one issue or passion that we care deeply about - a topic on which we would love to share our opinions and insights in hopes of sparking intense interest and continued conversation. If you had ten minutes and the attention of a million people, what would your talk be about?" -Essay question, USC (University of Southern California)
As for Irena's insights into being an application reader for Stanford University, to her eventual transition into becoming an independent college counselor, those parts are so memorable that I would not even know where to begin in terms of incorporating those anecdotes into my review.
Even when she is talking about the admissions process, though, it is her insights into the family structure that are so thought-provoking. I really liked what she said here in her introduction:
"To conceive a child is to enter into a state of expectancy; to raise a child is to entertain an endless succession of expectations, major and minor, thwarted and fulfilled. This is a book about lofty expectations - my parents' for me, mine for my own children, my students' parents for their children - and about the consequences of those expectations."
Last, but not least, I love how much Irena Smith loves to read and I love how she talks about all the influential works of literature that have impacted her. Here is a paragraph that really gripped me:
"I find the idea of a world without meaning terrifying. I studied literature and continue to read indiscriminately and greedily, like I'm sinking and books are my lifeline. Literature provides reassurance that the world is not a meaningless place. It offers a mirror and a shield, a reflection of my own lived experience and a promise that our struggles matter. It offers lessons and morals, and when it doesn't, it offers the consolation that words can contain and shape, however briefly, the chaos, the messiness, and the pain of human existence."
How fitting that Irena Smith does such a good job of capturing all of the above paragraph in her own book. Do not miss out on reading this memoir!
Do not be fooled: If you are a student looking for a how-to book on how to write an exceptional college essay, or you are a parent who is looking for ways to maximize your child getting into an elite private school or prestigious public school, then this is not the book. Irena is more interested in imparting very important life lessons, and this book is a memoir, not a guidebook. Other than the first few pages of the book, she does not talk much about college admissions until page 106.
But the candor with which she writes about her childhood, from being born and spending the first few years of her life in the USSR, to moving with her family to San Francisco, is truly remarkable. Her perspective of being Jewish and of being an immigrant is so well-written. Her idyllic class trip to Europe that turns into a nightmare because of a Visa issue and a night of drinking and youthful indiscretion is one of the stories that for me was a metaphor of the entire book: Searingly honest, endearingly funny, and even head-shakingly tragic.
Irena also writes a no-holds-barred account of parenthood, of raising her son Jordan, who is diagnosed with autism, as well as her son Noah and daughter Mara, the latter two whom have ADHD. She talks about the hard decisions that she and her husband have to make and how difficult it can be for her to be seen one way by the students she advises on the college process and yet how her own kids can have such contempt for her. She talks about Jordan's attempt at committing suicide - he thinks about jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge - to Mara's near death after a drug overdose - which took place in their own family home.
And then there are the admissions essay prompts to begin each chapter of the book. Some of my favorite ones:
"What is fairness in the world? Is merit always the pinnacle of fairness in education?" -Essay question from Penn State
"If you could change one thing to better your community, what would it be? Why is it important and how would you contribute to this change?" -Essay question, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
"Many of us have at least one issue or passion that we care deeply about - a topic on which we would love to share our opinions and insights in hopes of sparking intense interest and continued conversation. If you had ten minutes and the attention of a million people, what would your talk be about?" -Essay question, USC (University of Southern California)
As for Irena's insights into being an application reader for Stanford University, to her eventual transition into becoming an independent college counselor, those parts are so memorable that I would not even know where to begin in terms of incorporating those anecdotes into my review.
Even when she is talking about the admissions process, though, it is her insights into the family structure that are so thought-provoking. I really liked what she said here in her introduction:
"To conceive a child is to enter into a state of expectancy; to raise a child is to entertain an endless succession of expectations, major and minor, thwarted and fulfilled. This is a book about lofty expectations - my parents' for me, mine for my own children, my students' parents for their children - and about the consequences of those expectations."
Last, but not least, I love how much Irena Smith loves to read and I love how she talks about all the influential works of literature that have impacted her. Here is a paragraph that really gripped me:
"I find the idea of a world without meaning terrifying. I studied literature and continue to read indiscriminately and greedily, like I'm sinking and books are my lifeline. Literature provides reassurance that the world is not a meaningless place. It offers a mirror and a shield, a reflection of my own lived experience and a promise that our struggles matter. It offers lessons and morals, and when it doesn't, it offers the consolation that words can contain and shape, however briefly, the chaos, the messiness, and the pain of human existence."
How fitting that Irena Smith does such a good job of capturing all of the above paragraph in her own book. Do not miss out on reading this memoir!
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
April 18, 2023
This book is for every parent and person fretting over college admissions! It is such a beautiful, thoughtful and hilarious set of essays about navigating life's unexpected challenges. I have worked at Stanford in admissions, have worked with families for almost a decade helping them with college admissions, have fretted over admissions of my own family members and found my self enthusiastically nodding along with almost every essay. The author's description of how fraught the admissions process is could not be more accurate (or funnier). I did tear up twice reading this book as well (yup- I laughed, I cried...) but so much of the story is told with a sharp sense of humor. In particular I loved her own immigrant story that was weaved in wonderfully.
I will be recommending this book to all the families I work with to gain perspective.
I will be recommending this book to all the families I work with to gain perspective.
May 18, 2023
I thoroughly enjoyed the book and found it very well written. Irena Smith tells a very personal story that weaves together threads of her life that initially seem quite different but come together in a way that tells us much about the challenges of the world we live in. Although I am not a parent, I nevertheless found her story interesting and compelling, and it helped me appreciate the often difficult circumstances young people and their parents find themselves in.
This is clearly a valuable book for parents who have children with special needs as well as those navigating the confounding world of competition and expense posed by our current system of higher education. I also found the description of Smith's own experiences as an immigrant from the Soviet Union fascinating.
This book is very readable and often quite funny. I hope the author has more books in mind.
This is clearly a valuable book for parents who have children with special needs as well as those navigating the confounding world of competition and expense posed by our current system of higher education. I also found the description of Smith's own experiences as an immigrant from the Soviet Union fascinating.
This book is very readable and often quite funny. I hope the author has more books in mind.
June 19, 2023
I picked up this book because as a college admissions counselor, I like to read the latest writing in my field. I certainly enjoyed how she structured the volume around different college admissions essay prompts, and then used them to tell her story. So really it's a memoir of sorts. But what really struck me the most is how she both shares the stories of her neurodivergent children, especially in the midst of fielding a lot of challenging helicopter parents whose expectations of their children tend towards the extreme. That contrast was powerful and heartening. Plus, the advice she has for students woven throughout is priceless!
May 13, 2023
Irena is my cousin, so I have known what an amazing storyteller she is for most of my life. I am so excited that she has now shared this talent with so many others. The Golden Ticket contributes to an important societal conversation about college, parenting, and the systems that are deeply harming our teens and young adults. Irena makes the case that the pressure for affluent families to send their children to highly rejective colleges not only contributes to growing inequality, but creates tremendous suffering for the kids being pushed through this process. And she does it in a funny, poignant, and incredibly brave way. I could not recommend this book more highly.
January 28, 2024
really, really well done. one of my favorites. sharp, witty, and more than you expect.
October 29, 2023
As this memoir begins, I was immediately drawn into the snarkily fun, intellectually crisp writing style of author Irena Smith, a private college entrance consultant who had worked as an admissions officer at Stanford. I gloried in her literary references and the fact that we were both reading adult material as children: "...[A]t barely nine, [I] had read Anna Karenina and Bulgakov’s The Master and Margarita." (Anna Karenina at 9, me, too! But she's got it all over me--I'll have to find The Master and Margarita, but the chances of my translating it from Russian are exactly nil.). "...[M]y mom seemed not to care that at age thirteen, I was reading material that by today’s standards would be highly unsuitable for an eighth-grader." (My mother wasn't even casually interested to know WHAT I was reading, never mind its suitability.)
When her memoir turned suddenly dark, I soon realized we basically lived in the same place:
"...[T]he echoes between the Greek tragedies referenced in Faulkner’s novel and my own life are uncanny. Misguided parents, outsized expectations, scarred children, relentless striving, a house doomed to devour itself, people blind to the seeds of destruction they themselves have sown, and terrible consequences to actions taken with the best of intentions. And that’s just at my own house."
But no. Her experiences vastly outweigh mine in every respect. As a Stanford admissions officer, she soon realized what a total crap shoot getting into a high altitude college is: "There is such an infinite variety of accomplishment, striving, and resilience that reading applications sometimes feels like drinking excellence through a fire hose." This is sheer brilliance.
Perhaps the best advice she offers is in this: "...[A]s much as I hate to acknowledge it, it’s entirely possible that this is exactly what the world is: a place where a bunch of stuff just happens for no reason, and where, as Mara’s preschool teacher liked to say, rather prosaically, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
In the end, she reminds us that there's more to life than a so-called winning ticket into the "best" college:
"There’s a whole universe out there, a universe independent of your alma mater, a universe of the imagination that Nabokov called “unreal estate.” Even if you’re not at your dream college, even if you’re in a place you hate, even if you’re discouraged and despairing, that universe—invisible, democratic, all-embracing, catholic—is right there for the taking. It’s a state of being that I aspire to every day. I hope I get in. I hope we all do."
When her memoir turned suddenly dark, I soon realized we basically lived in the same place:
"...[T]he echoes between the Greek tragedies referenced in Faulkner’s novel and my own life are uncanny. Misguided parents, outsized expectations, scarred children, relentless striving, a house doomed to devour itself, people blind to the seeds of destruction they themselves have sown, and terrible consequences to actions taken with the best of intentions. And that’s just at my own house."
But no. Her experiences vastly outweigh mine in every respect. As a Stanford admissions officer, she soon realized what a total crap shoot getting into a high altitude college is: "There is such an infinite variety of accomplishment, striving, and resilience that reading applications sometimes feels like drinking excellence through a fire hose." This is sheer brilliance.
Perhaps the best advice she offers is in this: "...[A]s much as I hate to acknowledge it, it’s entirely possible that this is exactly what the world is: a place where a bunch of stuff just happens for no reason, and where, as Mara’s preschool teacher liked to say, rather prosaically, “You get what you get and you don’t throw a fit.”
In the end, she reminds us that there's more to life than a so-called winning ticket into the "best" college:
"There’s a whole universe out there, a universe independent of your alma mater, a universe of the imagination that Nabokov called “unreal estate.” Even if you’re not at your dream college, even if you’re in a place you hate, even if you’re discouraged and despairing, that universe—invisible, democratic, all-embracing, catholic—is right there for the taking. It’s a state of being that I aspire to every day. I hope I get in. I hope we all do."
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
October 2, 2023
This is definitely an unusual book and probably the most moving collection of essays I've read this year. The first part is laugh-out-loud funny, as the author delightfully skewers the US college admissions process. Imagine an adult replying to any number of those inane admissions essay prompts, with the benefit of hindsight.
"Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities."
"While my parents were at work pursuing their version of the American dream, I was at home pursuing mine, the taste of Corn Pops and plastic mixing on my lips. This was the land where you were rewarded for wanting and consuming what you loved best, where if you ate Corn Pops faithfully and then waited patiently, good things would come to you."
Can you imagine colleges commending students for being honest?
"Why do you intend to pursue your chosen major?"
"I want to study computer science because you are about to charge me $300,000 for an undergrad degree and I need to get a high-paying job in order to have a shot at repaying my loans. What do you expect me to study, history? lol"
Only the US could have come up with a system that openly encourages narcissism (what makes YOU such a special individual that you are infinitely more special than all the other applicants?) and then rewards the excess wealth that is required to game the system (not sure how to answer the first question? hire a college counselor for $500/hour to find out. That's not an exaggeration--this is the rate the author charges).
But...it turns out college admissions is not the main theme of this book. The narrative unexpectedly veers from the college applications process to the at-times soul-crushing, sleepless nights that ensue while parenting three teenagers: one is neurodivergent, one only wants to play video games, and the last one suffers from anxiety and depression--plus, of course, then there was the pandemic and at-home lockdown. It's all very relevant to the experience of being a teen in the post iPhone world.
But far from being a tale where mom and dad are relentlessly beaten down until they simply can simply no longer cope (The End!) they still manage to find meaning in the journey.
"Briefly elaborate on one of your extracurricular activities."
"While my parents were at work pursuing their version of the American dream, I was at home pursuing mine, the taste of Corn Pops and plastic mixing on my lips. This was the land where you were rewarded for wanting and consuming what you loved best, where if you ate Corn Pops faithfully and then waited patiently, good things would come to you."
Can you imagine colleges commending students for being honest?
"Why do you intend to pursue your chosen major?"
"I want to study computer science because you are about to charge me $300,000 for an undergrad degree and I need to get a high-paying job in order to have a shot at repaying my loans. What do you expect me to study, history? lol"
Only the US could have come up with a system that openly encourages narcissism (what makes YOU such a special individual that you are infinitely more special than all the other applicants?) and then rewards the excess wealth that is required to game the system (not sure how to answer the first question? hire a college counselor for $500/hour to find out. That's not an exaggeration--this is the rate the author charges).
But...it turns out college admissions is not the main theme of this book. The narrative unexpectedly veers from the college applications process to the at-times soul-crushing, sleepless nights that ensue while parenting three teenagers: one is neurodivergent, one only wants to play video games, and the last one suffers from anxiety and depression--plus, of course, then there was the pandemic and at-home lockdown. It's all very relevant to the experience of being a teen in the post iPhone world.
But far from being a tale where mom and dad are relentlessly beaten down until they simply can simply no longer cope (The End!) they still manage to find meaning in the journey.
July 17, 2023
3.5 rounded down. I’m in the minority but I think you should be prepared for two things: 1) this book is very tangentially related to the college admissions process (although you may feel a deeper relationship if you’ve recently gone through the process as a parent or student) and seems to hint at but not really address everything happening right now in that space so that part feels a bit lacking and 2) it is a memoir but includes a lot of intimate details about the author’s 20-something year old children which made me a little uncomfortable. She’s also obviously a good writer (and mentions it often) but also sometimes feels like she’s trying too hard to teach us a bizarre message - even though she and her spouse are clearly brilliant they ended up having children who are challenging. I kind of wondered if the kids were okay with their still as yet undefined lives being put on display/up for judgment.
November 4, 2022
I LOVED this book. Irena artfully winds her life as a mother, wife and college admissions coach through answering actual college essay questions. We get a behind the scenes look at the college admissions process and its participants on both sides. Irena works with ambitious high school students (and their parents) looking to attend the most prestigious colleges while dealing with the ambitions and/or lack of her own children. I felt like a fly on the wall getting to see and hear the authentic life of Irena Smith and her family. I learned so much from this book and really just loved reading it.
November 29, 2023
Such a creative format for framing a memoir based on college essay prompts. I wouldn't want to hang out with Irena Smith--way too pretentious and annoying--but I was interested in the dueling tensions in her life. My biggest complaint was her integration of literature into her life story, which was super heavy handed.. . ."Look at me, I'm so well read. . ."
May 14, 2023
Raw, honest, surprising and insightful
This book isn't just a guide on college admissions, but a personal and raw story on what it means to be a parent. Can't recommend enough for every parent out there.
This book isn't just a guide on college admissions, but a personal and raw story on what it means to be a parent. Can't recommend enough for every parent out there.
April 14, 2024
On its surface, this book appears to be a discussion about college admissions (specifically, for Stanford), but it's actually an autobiography in the form of example answers to actual admissions questions asked (ignoring the word count limits for book purposes). This would've been handy when I was applying for college... except that I wasn't remotely the kind of go-getter "HYPS" was after, so I ended up attending one of the low-rejection colleges (conveniently, the one where my dad taught).
The curious thing is I've had a hard time reading (auto)biographies, because it feels too personal, like I'm intruding on a life I have no right to see, even if I WAS invited in. This is truer the more I respect the person: I read Frances Farmer's autobiography back in the day when I wasn't that interested in nonfiction reading at ALL, and I got through it because I was pretty detached from who she was as a person, where reading Pageboy was rough, since I knew he'd had a hard time... I just didn't know HOW hard until I read exactly what he'd been through (just of what he included in THAT volume, nevermind what he suggests he's saving for another!).
So, Irena Smith is not someone I would have heard of, at ALL. Yet I'm FASCINATED by her life as told through answers to college admissions essay questions! It's surprisingly easy to read—probably because she knows what the examiners are looking for in the answers to these questions—and I found I couldn't put the book down!
(I only did because I was reading at work, and... I shouldn't do that, haha)
It goes to show, this is exactly how to sell yourself in a college admissions process: The examiners don't know you from Adam, so the essay is exactly how to inform them who you are and what you've done/will do, and why they should accept YOU out of the THOUSANDS of applicants. Definitely great at teaching by example!
Edit: Forgot to mention, I agree with her on Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, except for the waiting for it with "breathless anticipation" (only to be completely over it the second time it happened)—it sounded like a "crock of shit" from the minute I read what it a period was, and I think it STILL is a crock of shit, frankly. "Intelligent Design," my ass.
Edit 2: The footnotes may be the best part of the book! Some of them are bitingly funny, like the one about the autofill text for queries from parents of sixth- and seventh-graders, paraphrased, "Thank you for your inquiry, but I don't even consider coaching anyone before ninth grade, since college is such a far-distant and vague notion until then." (but more flowery so to POLITELY say "hold your dang horses already")
Conclusion: I think it's worth reading the whole book, but the last question is perhaps the most relevant—in summary, "Doing all of the expected college-prep coursework and extracurricular activities will almost likely NOT get you into HYPS if you've done absolutely nothing else interesting with your life. You should be able to sell yourself as someone compelling, rather than someone who has lived strictly by a tiger-parent-approved checklist." The main reason is the people who have most changed the world were free spirits:
Absolutely recommended for anyone planning to go to college, of ANY age. If this book's too long, though, the last question is probably the one to read.
The curious thing is I've had a hard time reading (auto)biographies, because it feels too personal, like I'm intruding on a life I have no right to see, even if I WAS invited in. This is truer the more I respect the person: I read Frances Farmer's autobiography back in the day when I wasn't that interested in nonfiction reading at ALL, and I got through it because I was pretty detached from who she was as a person, where reading Pageboy was rough, since I knew he'd had a hard time... I just didn't know HOW hard until I read exactly what he'd been through (just of what he included in THAT volume, nevermind what he suggests he's saving for another!).
So, Irena Smith is not someone I would have heard of, at ALL. Yet I'm FASCINATED by her life as told through answers to college admissions essay questions! It's surprisingly easy to read—probably because she knows what the examiners are looking for in the answers to these questions—and I found I couldn't put the book down!
(I only did because I was reading at work, and... I shouldn't do that, haha)
It goes to show, this is exactly how to sell yourself in a college admissions process: The examiners don't know you from Adam, so the essay is exactly how to inform them who you are and what you've done/will do, and why they should accept YOU out of the THOUSANDS of applicants. Definitely great at teaching by example!
Edit: Forgot to mention, I agree with her on Are You There God? It's Me, Margaret, except for the waiting for it with "breathless anticipation" (only to be completely over it the second time it happened)—it sounded like a "crock of shit" from the minute I read what it a period was, and I think it STILL is a crock of shit, frankly. "Intelligent Design," my ass.
Edit 2: The footnotes may be the best part of the book! Some of them are bitingly funny, like the one about the autofill text for queries from parents of sixth- and seventh-graders, paraphrased, "Thank you for your inquiry, but I don't even consider coaching anyone before ninth grade, since college is such a far-distant and vague notion until then." (but more flowery so to POLITELY say "hold your dang horses already")
Conclusion: I think it's worth reading the whole book, but the last question is perhaps the most relevant—in summary, "Doing all of the expected college-prep coursework and extracurricular activities will almost likely NOT get you into HYPS if you've done absolutely nothing else interesting with your life. You should be able to sell yourself as someone compelling, rather than someone who has lived strictly by a tiger-parent-approved checklist." The main reason is the people who have most changed the world were free spirits:
They don't care that Steve Jobs dropped out of Reed (where he studied Japanese calligraphy) or that Sergei Brin went to University of Maryland as an undergrad and then dropped out of his graduate program at Stanford or that Michael Dell never graduated from UT Austin or that Peter Thiel majored in philosophy.Thing is, it's REALLY HARD to innovate by following a checklist. Innovation is thinking OUTSIDE the box, not checking it off! Smith notes, however, that some of the more interesting people who would be admitted are, most likely, doing too much LIVING to bother with college. Hmm...
Absolutely recommended for anyone planning to go to college, of ANY age. If this book's too long, though, the last question is probably the one to read.
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