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Retief #1
Retief: Envoy to New Worlds
Vice Counsul Retief an ambassodor from the CDT, negotiates control of the Sirenian system, settles a conflict between settlers and natives, and solves a labor shortage on the planet Lovenbroy
245 pages, Paperback
First published January 1, 1963
50 people are currently reading
732 people want to read
About the author
Keith Laumer
498 books225 followersJohn Keith Laumer was an American science fiction author. Prior to becoming a full-time writer, he was an officer in the U.S. Air Force and a U.S. diplomat. His brother March Laumer was also a writer, known for his adult reinterpretations of the Land of Oz (also mentioned in Keith's The Other Side of Time).
Keith Laumer (aka J.K Laumer, J. Keith Laumer) is best known for his Bolo stories and his satirical Retief series. The former chronicles the evolution of juggernaut-sized tanks that eventually become self-aware through the constant improvement resulting from centuries of intermittent warfare against various alien races. The latter deals with the adventures of a cynical spacefaring diplomat who constantly has to overcome the red-tape-infused failures of people with names like Ambassador Grossblunder. The Retief stories were greatly influenced by Laumer's earlier career in the United States Foreign Service. In an interview with Paul Walker of Luna Monthly, Laumer states "I had no shortage of iniquitous memories of the Foreign Service."
Four of his shorter works received Hugo or Nebula Award nominations (one of them, "In the Queue", received nominations for both) and his novel A Plague of Demons was nominated for the Nebula Award for Best Novel in 1966.
During the peak years of 1959–1971, Laumer was a prolific science fiction writer, with his novels tending to follow one of two patterns: fast-paced, straight adventures in time and space, with an emphasis on lone-wolf, latent superman protagonists, self-sacrifice and transcendence or, broad comedies, sometimes of the over-the-top variety.
In 1971, Laumer suffered a stroke while working on the novel The Ultimax Man. As a result, he was unable to write for a few years. As he explained in an interview with Charles Platt published in The Dream Makers (1987), he refused to accept the doctors' diagnosis. He came up with an alternative explanation and developed an alternative (and very painful) treatment program. Although he was unable to write in the early 1970s, he had a number of books which were in the pipeline at the time of the stroke published during that time.
In the mid-1970s, Laumer partially recovered from the stroke and resumed writing. However, the quality of his work suffered and his career declined (Piers Anthony, How Precious Was That While, 2002). In later years Laumer also reused scenarios and characters from his earlier works to create "new" books, which some critics felt was to their detriment:
Alas, Retief to the Rescue doesn't seem so much like a new Retief novel, but a kind of Cuisnart mélange of past books.
-- Somtow Sucharitkul (Washington Post, Mar 27, 1983. p. BW11)
His Bolo creations were popular enough that other authors have written standalone science-fiction novels about them.
Laumer was also a model airplane enthusiast, and published two dozen designs between 1956 and 1962 in the U.S. magazines Air Trails, Model Airplane News and Flying Models, as well as the British magazine Aero Modeler. He published one book on the subject, How to Design and Build Flying Models in 1960. His later designs were mostly gas-powered free flight planes, and had a whimsical charm with names to match, like the "Twin Lizzie" and the "Lulla-Bi". His designs are still being revisited, reinvented and built today.
Keith Laumer (aka J.K Laumer, J. Keith Laumer) is best known for his Bolo stories and his satirical Retief series. The former chronicles the evolution of juggernaut-sized tanks that eventually become self-aware through the constant improvement resulting from centuries of intermittent warfare against various alien races. The latter deals with the adventures of a cynical spacefaring diplomat who constantly has to overcome the red-tape-infused failures of people with names like Ambassador Grossblunder. The Retief stories were greatly influenced by Laumer's earlier career in the United States Foreign Service. In an interview with Paul Walker of Luna Monthly, Laumer states "I had no shortage of iniquitous memories of the Foreign Service."
Four of his shorter works received Hugo or Nebula Award nominations (one of them, "In the Queue", received nominations for both) and his novel A Plague of Demons was nominated for the Nebula Award for Best Novel in 1966.
During the peak years of 1959–1971, Laumer was a prolific science fiction writer, with his novels tending to follow one of two patterns: fast-paced, straight adventures in time and space, with an emphasis on lone-wolf, latent superman protagonists, self-sacrifice and transcendence or, broad comedies, sometimes of the over-the-top variety.
In 1971, Laumer suffered a stroke while working on the novel The Ultimax Man. As a result, he was unable to write for a few years. As he explained in an interview with Charles Platt published in The Dream Makers (1987), he refused to accept the doctors' diagnosis. He came up with an alternative explanation and developed an alternative (and very painful) treatment program. Although he was unable to write in the early 1970s, he had a number of books which were in the pipeline at the time of the stroke published during that time.
In the mid-1970s, Laumer partially recovered from the stroke and resumed writing. However, the quality of his work suffered and his career declined (Piers Anthony, How Precious Was That While, 2002). In later years Laumer also reused scenarios and characters from his earlier works to create "new" books, which some critics felt was to their detriment:
Alas, Retief to the Rescue doesn't seem so much like a new Retief novel, but a kind of Cuisnart mélange of past books.
-- Somtow Sucharitkul (Washington Post, Mar 27, 1983. p. BW11)
His Bolo creations were popular enough that other authors have written standalone science-fiction novels about them.
Laumer was also a model airplane enthusiast, and published two dozen designs between 1956 and 1962 in the U.S. magazines Air Trails, Model Airplane News and Flying Models, as well as the British magazine Aero Modeler. He published one book on the subject, How to Design and Build Flying Models in 1960. His later designs were mostly gas-powered free flight planes, and had a whimsical charm with names to match, like the "Twin Lizzie" and the "Lulla-Bi". His designs are still being revisited, reinvented and built today.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 45 reviews
June 4, 2019
Pure space opera Science Fiction short stories.
With no regard for protocol diplomat Retief takes short cuts through red tape to get the required results.
And if his superiors are temporarily annoyed so much the better.
Honorific names
"Well, let us dine," the mighty Flapjack said at last, "we can resolve these matters later.
I am called Hoshick of the Mosaic of the Two Dawns."
"I'm Retief." Hoshick waited expectantly. "... of the Mountain of Red Tape," Retief added.
Government agencies
"I don't appreciate frivolity with reference to this Division," Magnan said testily. "When I first came here, the Manpower Utilization Directorate, Division of Libraries and Education was a shambles. I fancy I've made MUDDLE what it is today.
. . .
Whaffle blinked. "You're the fellow who's filling in for Magnan, over at MUDDLE," he said. "Properly speaking, equipment grants are the sole concern of the Motorized Equipment Depot, Division of Loans and Exchanges." He pursed his lips. "However, I suppose there's no harm in my telling you. They'll be receiving heavy mining equipment."
"Why MUDDLE's interest in MEDDLE's activities?"
. . .
"Speaking of tractors," another man put in, "we over at the Special Committee for Rehabilitation and Overhaul of Underdeveloped Nations' General Economies have been trying for months to get a request for mining equipment for d'Land through MEDDLE-"
"SCROUNGE was late on the scene," Whaffle said. "First come, first served, that's our policy at MEDDLE."
More acronyms
"This group," he glanced at the paper, "known as the Sexual, Cultural and Athletic Recreational Society, or SCARS, for short, has been awaiting sponsorship for a matter of weeks now."
Follow the exploits of a hero who seems simple, but is really fiendishly clever.
Watch out for the subtle humor and the not-so-subtle puns.
Enjoy!
With no regard for protocol diplomat Retief takes short cuts through red tape to get the required results.
And if his superiors are temporarily annoyed so much the better.
Honorific names
"Well, let us dine," the mighty Flapjack said at last, "we can resolve these matters later.
I am called Hoshick of the Mosaic of the Two Dawns."
"I'm Retief." Hoshick waited expectantly. "... of the Mountain of Red Tape," Retief added.
Government agencies
"I don't appreciate frivolity with reference to this Division," Magnan said testily. "When I first came here, the Manpower Utilization Directorate, Division of Libraries and Education was a shambles. I fancy I've made MUDDLE what it is today.
. . .
Whaffle blinked. "You're the fellow who's filling in for Magnan, over at MUDDLE," he said. "Properly speaking, equipment grants are the sole concern of the Motorized Equipment Depot, Division of Loans and Exchanges." He pursed his lips. "However, I suppose there's no harm in my telling you. They'll be receiving heavy mining equipment."
"Why MUDDLE's interest in MEDDLE's activities?"
. . .
"Speaking of tractors," another man put in, "we over at the Special Committee for Rehabilitation and Overhaul of Underdeveloped Nations' General Economies have been trying for months to get a request for mining equipment for d'Land through MEDDLE-"
"SCROUNGE was late on the scene," Whaffle said. "First come, first served, that's our policy at MEDDLE."
More acronyms
"This group," he glanced at the paper, "known as the Sexual, Cultural and Athletic Recreational Society, or SCARS, for short, has been awaiting sponsorship for a matter of weeks now."
Follow the exploits of a hero who seems simple, but is really fiendishly clever.
Watch out for the subtle humor and the not-so-subtle puns.
Enjoy!
August 27, 2019
Very funny stories with a ring of truth
Review of Kindle editiom
Publication date: September 24, 2014
Publisher: Fiction Hunter Press
Language: English
ASIN: B00NWJ7446
136 pages
This is a 1963 collection of six Retief stories. All are stand-alone stories but in addition to Retief, there is one other recurring character in some of the stories. Mr. Laumer was a U. S. Air Force officer and later served in the U.S. Foreign Service. Those experiences add considerable authenticity to his stories of galactic diplomat Jame Retief. I think it safe to say that Laumer was not impressed with the leadership of the foreign service. The result is that he produced a number of very funny stories about diplomacy and politics. Unfortunately Laumer suffered a stroke in 1971. He partially recovered and began writing again in the mid-70's but the stories and novels produced after that time are not the same quality as his earlier work.
I have enjoyed Keith Laumer's fiction since high school. In all that time the only serious complaint I've ever had is the question of what motivates Retief. I can think of several possible answers but I don't remember Laumer ever addressing the question.
In addition to his Retief stories, Laumer is also known for the Bolo series about giant tanks which are so advanced that they eventually became self-aware. If I ever knew the origin of the name Bolo, I've forgotten it. The Bolos became so popular that other authors began to write stories and novels set in that universe. I believe that some are still being written.
Some of Laumer's fiction is available from Amazon as free Kindle editions.
Review of Kindle editiom
Publication date: September 24, 2014
Publisher: Fiction Hunter Press
Language: English
ASIN: B00NWJ7446
136 pages
This is a 1963 collection of six Retief stories. All are stand-alone stories but in addition to Retief, there is one other recurring character in some of the stories. Mr. Laumer was a U. S. Air Force officer and later served in the U.S. Foreign Service. Those experiences add considerable authenticity to his stories of galactic diplomat Jame Retief. I think it safe to say that Laumer was not impressed with the leadership of the foreign service. The result is that he produced a number of very funny stories about diplomacy and politics. Unfortunately Laumer suffered a stroke in 1971. He partially recovered and began writing again in the mid-70's but the stories and novels produced after that time are not the same quality as his earlier work.
I have enjoyed Keith Laumer's fiction since high school. In all that time the only serious complaint I've ever had is the question of what motivates Retief. I can think of several possible answers but I don't remember Laumer ever addressing the question.
In addition to his Retief stories, Laumer is also known for the Bolo series about giant tanks which are so advanced that they eventually became self-aware. If I ever knew the origin of the name Bolo, I've forgotten it. The Bolos became so popular that other authors began to write stories and novels set in that universe. I believe that some are still being written.
Some of Laumer's fiction is available from Amazon as free Kindle editions.
April 27, 2017
The cover says this is the first book about Retief - Machiavelli of cosmic diplomacy. Not a bad description, but Retief is less Machiavelli & more the MacGuyver (which was on 20 years after this book was published) of diplomacy. He's a big, strong guy with firm ideas of fair play no matter what protocol might get trampled. Basically, Laumer used these stories as a way to thumb his nose at silly diplomatic practices.
The stories follow a formula. They start with a quote out of diplomatic history text praising the head diplomat of the incident. Then we get the real story which is that the head diplomat is an idiot & intentionally ignorant of the real situation. Jame Retief figures out what is really going on & fixes the situation in some dashing manner. Few know this, so Retief often gets a scolding which he pays no attention to. They're fun, quick reads.
The stories follow a formula. They start with a quote out of diplomatic history text praising the head diplomat of the incident. Then we get the real story which is that the head diplomat is an idiot & intentionally ignorant of the real situation. Jame Retief figures out what is really going on & fixes the situation in some dashing manner. Few know this, so Retief often gets a scolding which he pays no attention to. They're fun, quick reads.
May 3, 2025
Envoy to New Worlds collects the first six stories in Laumer's very popular, very long-running series about a galactic diplomat named Jame Retief, who was something of an interstellar James Bond. The first story was published in If magazine in November of 1961 when H.L. Gold was listed as the editor, and all of the others also appeared in If, but in 1962 with Frederik Pohl's name on the masthead. They were published in book form as half of an Ace Double (backed by Flight from Yesterday by Robert Moore Williams, which I've not yet read) in 1963, and then by themselves in 1969 with the same Ed Emshwiller cover, on which Retief looks just like Mandrake the Magician from the comic strip. Like the early Bonds, the stories are remarkably sexist by current standards: for example, at the end of Aide Memoire, Retief meets a young woman named Delinda and asks why she didn't participate in a contest he won that was a main part of the story. She replies that she couldn't because she had a special assignment, takes his hand, and explains that she's the prize. (Oh dear...) Or, in Protocol, Retief is pleased to learn: "The Ministry of Culture has imported several Terrestrial joy-girls, said to be top-notch specimens. At least they have very fat whatchamacallits." It gets worse from there; it seems bad even for 1961. On the other hand, the stories themselves are clever bits of satire, lampoons of bureaucracy. They're clever and quick tales in which Retief outsmarts the aliens as well as his superiors and things work out better for everyone, more or less. As Retief himself says on page 126: "There's no phonier business in the galaxy than diplomacy."
February 22, 2015
I read this in college when I should have been studying. (Read a lot of other SF and fantasy the same way.) Laumer stood out from the pack of very capable authors because of his humor. The Retief tales were inherently funny, with gentle pokes at contemporary international relations.
A fun read.
A fun read.
May 7, 2025
An diesen Episoden-Roman kann ich mich noch gut erinnern. Daran ist auch das Cover mit den Aliens beteiligt. Der irdische Diplomat James Retief hat auf fremden Planeten mit außerirdischen Kulturen zu tun. Die auftretenden Probleme geht er recht unkonventionell, sprich jenseits der diplomatischen Etikette, an. Eine mitunter vergnügliche Lektüre, die nicht immer politisch korrekt ist, denn die außerirdischen Würdenträger und Machthaber sind manchmal Karikaturen. In den Nachschlagewerken steht dazu, dass Laumer hier seine persönlichen Erfahrungen als Luftwaffen-Attaché in Südostasien hat einfließen lassen.
September 12, 2016
This is the second time I've read this book. First time I've reviewed it.
Jaime Retief is a junior diplomat in the CDT, a bumbling, slapstick-comedy ambassador corps that mis-represents Terra (Earth) to the other races in the galaxy. He works under Ben Magnan, who is just barely competent, a middle-level bureaucrat in the Corps.
Laumer writes with a wry, humorous style that makes you wonder if ANY diplomat in real life or fiction is competent at any level. Only Retief can save the day to preserve peace and keep Terra supreme in the Galaxy.
The book is a series of 7 relatively short stories and all of them are fun to read. Once started, I couldn't go to bed until I'd read the last page of the story I was reading. I always went to bed in a good mood. Lots of fun to read.
Jaime Retief is a junior diplomat in the CDT, a bumbling, slapstick-comedy ambassador corps that mis-represents Terra (Earth) to the other races in the galaxy. He works under Ben Magnan, who is just barely competent, a middle-level bureaucrat in the Corps.
Laumer writes with a wry, humorous style that makes you wonder if ANY diplomat in real life or fiction is competent at any level. Only Retief can save the day to preserve peace and keep Terra supreme in the Galaxy.
The book is a series of 7 relatively short stories and all of them are fun to read. Once started, I couldn't go to bed until I'd read the last page of the story I was reading. I always went to bed in a good mood. Lots of fun to read.
June 14, 2021
3.6⭐
Read this collection of short stories decades ago; during the cold war period in which they were written. Laumer's barely concealed satire on the U.S - Soviet rivalry and the State Department was entertaining and just a little riske given the dominant ideology of the times.
I wouldn't mind reading these again, sometime, just for the nostalgia value and to see how well they've aged.
Read this collection of short stories decades ago; during the cold war period in which they were written. Laumer's barely concealed satire on the U.S - Soviet rivalry and the State Department was entertaining and just a little riske given the dominant ideology of the times.
I wouldn't mind reading these again, sometime, just for the nostalgia value and to see how well they've aged.
June 27, 2015
This was one of the (few) books I read in my formative years (aside from everything I read by Heinlein) that I really want to re-read. I found it quite dated (which would be expected, but is not a given: case in point, works by C.L. Moore from the 30s and 40s which haven't dated and are still amazingly good) and quite quaint. Also, John Scalzi has meanwhile created his own stylish SF CD (as in Diplomatic Corps) stories and Laumer isn't anymore the only show in town. It does happen that Ode Abumwe is infinitely more interesting than Magnan (and also competent, effective and believable) and I admit that Harry Wilson can give Retief a run for his value. This said, with the exception of Rank Injustice, which my edition included and is quite mediocre, the rest of the tales herein are quite entertaining, well plotted and yes, stylish.
“We may make a diplomat of you yet.” He smiled expansively.
“Maybe. But I refuse to let it depress me.”
“I hope he isn’t going to change the spontaneous speech he plans to make when the Potentate impulsively suggests a trade agreement along the lines they’ve been discussing for the last two months.”
Yeah, a few jewels here and there...
“We may make a diplomat of you yet.” He smiled expansively.
“Maybe. But I refuse to let it depress me.”
“I hope he isn’t going to change the spontaneous speech he plans to make when the Potentate impulsively suggests a trade agreement along the lines they’ve been discussing for the last two months.”
Yeah, a few jewels here and there...
June 21, 2022
Oh, what fun! ‘Retief: Envoy to New Worlds’ is a collection of six vignettes about the exploits of charismatic Earth diplomat Jame Retief, who needs to solve looming crises like interspecies war, corruption in high ranks, palace coups, or a pirate attack on a peace summit. His methods: unconventional. His greatest enemy: red tape.
Laumer was a former US diplomat, and this book is a riotously funny satire of over-bureaucratized diplomacy that at no point tries to take itself seriously. Retief himself is a power fantasy: he is handsome, intelligent, gets the job done despite every effort of his bosses, has a sarcastic one-liner at the ready for every occasion, enjoys his ladies and spirits, and is always prepared for a fistfight. Think any Bill Murray character stuck in Han Solo’s body doing Kissinger’s job.
Sure, it’s heavy on testosterone. But it is so much fun! The jokes land almost all the time, the satire is hilarious, and I simply cannot hate Retief.
My partner asked me multiple times what the hell I was reading. You know, because of all the chuckles.
Laumer was a former US diplomat, and this book is a riotously funny satire of over-bureaucratized diplomacy that at no point tries to take itself seriously. Retief himself is a power fantasy: he is handsome, intelligent, gets the job done despite every effort of his bosses, has a sarcastic one-liner at the ready for every occasion, enjoys his ladies and spirits, and is always prepared for a fistfight. Think any Bill Murray character stuck in Han Solo’s body doing Kissinger’s job.
Sure, it’s heavy on testosterone. But it is so much fun! The jokes land almost all the time, the satire is hilarious, and I simply cannot hate Retief.
My partner asked me multiple times what the hell I was reading. You know, because of all the chuckles.
February 16, 2014
As you learned in a recent episode of Rodent's Digest, I try not to bother reviewing or rating books that already have huge numbers of reviews and ratings because my little warblings just get lost in the noise. So I'm not going to rate all of the Retief books. This may be the only one, in fact. But I assure you, I have read them all. Some I've read several times, in several seasons. They are among the select few SciFi books I've carted around with me for decades. They're simply amusing. Like Godiva chocolate, with zero calories. Because of Retief, I love diplomats. Yes, if I were a lady, I'd do Retief. I've written characters who would do Retief, no questions asked. I mean, if you want clever, debonair Terran diplomatic males, look no further than Retief. He's kind of the suave James Bond of galactic diplomatic circles. Too bad his superiors don't have a bloody clue what's going on most of the time...
January 29, 2019
The Retief stories are always fun. This edition had been upgraded with a longer story from much later in the timeline of Retief stories called Rank Injustice, and I have to say, it was my least favorite.
December 15, 2014
1980 grade B+
2010 grade B+
Retief!
series book R1 (1968)
2010 grade B+
Retief!
series book R1 (1968)
December 26, 2020
It's definitely from the 60s, but I had a lot of fun. It's basically Jeeves in Space, where an minor flunky quietly saves the day behind the scenes, much to the consternation of his superiors.
March 31, 2019
This goes on the Books I Should Have Read Already shelf, as I'd carried around a couple in the series for decades without ever reading them. My father-in-law always wanted me to read Retief, as he knew my affinity to puns, but I never got around to them. Well, I always seemed to find something else to read, anyway. I suppose it is good that I've decided now at last to do so, because had I read this 40+ years ago, I'd likely never had read any others. I understand they do get better. They'd kind of have to. This intro collection of shorts was uneven. The first couple of stories were charming and engaging, while the last few were tedious. I do like Laumer's send up of diplomatic protocols, with Retief's fists over words approach, and look forward to seeing how Retief stories grow. One line that had me chuckling:
That'll serve to carry over to the next...
Retief took a last glance in the mirror. "I’m not sure I want a promotion. It would mean more lapels.”
That'll serve to carry over to the next...
November 24, 2025
I read this as a teenager and loved it. I'm pleased that it holds up as well as it does.
July 11, 2012
"Envoy to New Worlds" by Keith Laumer sends Corps Diplomatique Terran Jame Retief on six missions AD 2940+ where brain and brawn save land and lives despite red tape bound superiors amid conspiracy and conflct across alien planets. Always funny, re-read 4+ times. The digital era looks askance at reel and spool historical recordings, numerically specified for versimilitude p6. The heavy French lingual influence is forced in Canada; Chinese in dvd TV "Firefly" probable; USA likely southern Spanish influence. Say aloud for full tricksy silliness, goofy puns and plays - Yills Ambassador F'Kau-Kau-Kau, interpreter P'Toi. "Ka Swe in Burma" is real = khao swe burmese coconut chicken noodle dish, much tastier than "sheep's eyes in the Sudan" p13.
http://www.baenebooks.com/p-347-retie...
http://www.baenebooks.com/chapters/14... Retief's Peace sample
http://www.keithlaumer.com/books.htm
1 Protocol - Only Retief studied language tape before-hand, observes 'egg nog' symbol on their transport and kitchen garbage bin, hears servants discuss offensive seating and dog food,
2 Sealed Orders - Leaving the briefcase closed, Retief "of the Mountain of Red Tape" punches down a quick-tempered human settler bent on battle for oases, wrestles a tentacled Flap-jack winning with finger into sensitive orifice. "Tennessee rules" p35 allow opponents to bite, gouge, stomp, kneel, choke, punc, shove, kick, so addendum forbids tentacle twisting in decisive one-on-one with alien leader "Hoshick of the Mosaic of the Two Dawns" who mistakes aggression for skirmish game.
3 Cultural Exchange - Retief fills in for Magnan at MUDDLE Manpower Utilization Directorate, Division of Libraries and Education. Hank Arapoulous's planet Lovenbroy, in debt to Croanie, needs grape pickers for the Harvest Festival. and offers a taste of heavenly Bacchus wine.
R: "Drinking on duty is frowned on"
H: "This isn't drinking, it's just wine."
R: "We also have to be careful about violating quaint native customs."
4 Aide Memoire is an official protest note popular with Magnan, but Retief foils an eye-stalk Groaci plot
5 Policy - of Terrans allows Groaci coverup
6 Palace Revolution - against snobbish Nanni caste starts in the kitchen with knives.
Typos tricky to be sure of, because of purposeful alien translation bumbles::
p7 "junior member of the Terrestiral Embassy" maybe "Terrestrial"
p18 "my colleabues" for "colleagues" correctly by "Admirable" F'Kau
http://www.baenebooks.com/p-347-retie...
http://www.baenebooks.com/chapters/14... Retief's Peace sample
http://www.keithlaumer.com/books.htm
1 Protocol - Only Retief studied language tape before-hand, observes 'egg nog' symbol on their transport and kitchen garbage bin, hears servants discuss offensive seating and dog food,
2 Sealed Orders - Leaving the briefcase closed, Retief "of the Mountain of Red Tape" punches down a quick-tempered human settler bent on battle for oases, wrestles a tentacled Flap-jack winning with finger into sensitive orifice. "Tennessee rules" p35 allow opponents to bite, gouge, stomp, kneel, choke, punc, shove, kick, so addendum forbids tentacle twisting in decisive one-on-one with alien leader "Hoshick of the Mosaic of the Two Dawns" who mistakes aggression for skirmish game.
3 Cultural Exchange - Retief fills in for Magnan at MUDDLE Manpower Utilization Directorate, Division of Libraries and Education. Hank Arapoulous's planet Lovenbroy, in debt to Croanie, needs grape pickers for the Harvest Festival. and offers a taste of heavenly Bacchus wine.
R: "Drinking on duty is frowned on"
H: "This isn't drinking, it's just wine."
R: "We also have to be careful about violating quaint native customs."
4 Aide Memoire is an official protest note popular with Magnan, but Retief foils an eye-stalk Groaci plot
5 Policy - of Terrans allows Groaci coverup
6 Palace Revolution - against snobbish Nanni caste starts in the kitchen with knives.
Typos tricky to be sure of, because of purposeful alien translation bumbles::
p7 "junior member of the Terrestiral Embassy" maybe "Terrestrial"
p18 "my colleabues" for "colleagues" correctly by "Admirable" F'Kau
April 23, 2019
I have really gotten into old sci-fi books this year, they all do a great job even today having a mis of expected events to great twist that I love. This is the first book I read not about some great hero being a warrior or fighter, but a diplomat that does his best to work around the system that often times risks ruining everything.
I wish they would explain how a diplomat that hates diplomats got a job in the first place and why he puts up with it when he could leave, but maybe that's just me.
I wish they would explain how a diplomat that hates diplomats got a job in the first place and why he puts up with it when he could leave, but maybe that's just me.
April 11, 2022
Laumer, Keith. Retief: Envoy to New Worlds. 1963. Retief No. 1. Baen, 1987.
Imagine that James Bond turned in his license to kill for a good course in martial arts and a career in extraterrestrial diplomacy. That brings you close to Keith Laumer’s Retief. He is a diplomat in Earth’s Corps Diplomatique Terrestrienne. Their job is to spread goodwill to new races and keep their interstellar competitors from gaining influence. The Corps suffers from a bad case of red tape and rank inflation, but in any given mission, whatever his putative rank, Retief is always the third man in the diplomatic pecking order. At the top is a self-absorbed, grossly incompetent ambassador. The satirical attack on him reminded me of Joseph Heller’s satire of the military in Catch 22, published just two years before Envoy to New Worlds. The ambassador’s second in command is the well-meaning but none-too-bright Magnan. Retief is always Magnan’s subordinate. Magnan is often assigned to keep Retief out of trouble but usually needs to be rescued himself. Retief is observant and can always tell the good guys from the baddies, because unlike his colleagues, he bothers to learn the alien languages. He is always the epitome of cool. Retief began, I think, as a character in the science fiction pulps. Laumer recycled the stories in several collections, and the character became a 30-year favorite. This earliest collection was fun to reread. 4 stars.
Imagine that James Bond turned in his license to kill for a good course in martial arts and a career in extraterrestrial diplomacy. That brings you close to Keith Laumer’s Retief. He is a diplomat in Earth’s Corps Diplomatique Terrestrienne. Their job is to spread goodwill to new races and keep their interstellar competitors from gaining influence. The Corps suffers from a bad case of red tape and rank inflation, but in any given mission, whatever his putative rank, Retief is always the third man in the diplomatic pecking order. At the top is a self-absorbed, grossly incompetent ambassador. The satirical attack on him reminded me of Joseph Heller’s satire of the military in Catch 22, published just two years before Envoy to New Worlds. The ambassador’s second in command is the well-meaning but none-too-bright Magnan. Retief is always Magnan’s subordinate. Magnan is often assigned to keep Retief out of trouble but usually needs to be rescued himself. Retief is observant and can always tell the good guys from the baddies, because unlike his colleagues, he bothers to learn the alien languages. He is always the epitome of cool. Retief began, I think, as a character in the science fiction pulps. Laumer recycled the stories in several collections, and the character became a 30-year favorite. This earliest collection was fun to reread. 4 stars.
January 6, 2016
I had a lot of fun reading this book. It's a pseudo-short story collection. Or, really, highlight stories from the career of the main character. Six such stories total.
This is a super fun read. Real fun, not forced fun, or obnoxious fun. Laumer's sense of humor is direct and sarcastic. He's fairly good with wordplay.
The stories read like James Bond snippets. There is also a lot of kosmic creativity in all of the stories, though the stories move quickly and do not pause for anything. Laumer writes interesting scenarios that our hero always overcomes.
Recommended for folks tired of politicians, who love sci fi, and who demand books be entertaining.
This is a super fun read. Real fun, not forced fun, or obnoxious fun. Laumer's sense of humor is direct and sarcastic. He's fairly good with wordplay.
The stories read like James Bond snippets. There is also a lot of kosmic creativity in all of the stories, though the stories move quickly and do not pause for anything. Laumer writes interesting scenarios that our hero always overcomes.
Recommended for folks tired of politicians, who love sci fi, and who demand books be entertaining.
March 19, 2019
The Retief stories are essentially satire with humour arising from comical situations, colourful aliens, sarcastic dialogue, and cynical mocking of the Foreign Service. I found that these little adventures were tightly written, fast paced and very amusing.
Throughout the series, Laumer tended to bounce around Retief’s timeline such that this initial collection contains six stories from various stages in his career. And although they were published in a different order, they were arranged chronologically in Envoy to New Worlds.
June 9, 2012
A nice start to the Retief series. Not as slapstick as the later entries, and the plots to these short stories are sometimes a little dense, but it's good for more than a few good laughs and definitely an enjoyable quick read.
September 15, 2011
Oldstyle science fiction with a touch of irony - always a welcome mix on my shelf. While not a masterpiece, the book is a very light and satisfying read that leaves you wanting for more.
June 1, 2012
Hilarious! Though I would say the level of humor is not always the same in each story. Laumer did experiment. Still, Laumer is one of the few unsung greats of humor SF.
May 16, 2015
launcher, a former fighter pilot, knows his diplomats! Fun. Stuff!
it was a shame. he died way too young! Read Earthblood, you will be reminded of Heinlein at his best!
it was a shame. he died way too young! Read Earthblood, you will be reminded of Heinlein at his best!
January 9, 2019
Good fun read. Enjoyed the humor of sub-standard government service contrasted with competent efforts by the hero.
April 17, 2021
3.5 stars
Six fun, clever, action packed stories.
Six fun, clever, action packed stories.
August 29, 2022
A great collection of stories. Where other diplomats grovel Retief boldly shines
October 19, 2022
Light-hearted space opera filled with dry wit and still managing to have good, thoughtful, interspecies diplomatic misunderstandings that result in hijinks and hilarity. Seriously good fun.
February 27, 2020
There aren't too many people who can write humorous Science Fiction, but Keith Laumer does it in these classic stories. This book starts off the series, and the stories follow a formula, but an enjoyable one. Jame Retief is a lower-level staff member of the diplomatic service Corps Diplomatique Terrestrienne, and is the only one who can see clearly the problems they face. His superiors (always including Magnan) are bureaucratic ass-coverers who always follow the procedures, but Retief manages, by ignoring all of that, to save the day in the end. This is the kind of book you don't need to sit down and read cover-to-cover. Just pick it up and read a story when you want a lift.
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