Gone: A Mother's 14 Year Search For Her Abducted Daughter

by Margaret Wilcox

'In total confusion I clutched the lambskin to my chest. It was still perfumed with Tanya's baby scent. Surely he would not have taken her without her security blanket?'In 1977, Margaret Wilcox faces every mother's worst nightmare - the abduction of her child. The kidnapper is not a stranger but the child's father, Hadi. Gone tells the dramatic story of Margaret's long search to be reunited with Tanya, a journey that takes her all over the world and into the darkest corners of the human psyche. At every turn she is thwarted by uncaring bureaucracies and clumsy legal systems that insist when it comes to child custody, possession is nine-tenths of the law. Inspiring, unforgettable and profoundly moving, this is the story of hope against reason, and the determination of a mother whose only dream is to once again hold her child in her arms.'It was 14 long years before Margaret Wilcox got to hug her daughter again, yet not for one second does this gutsy Australian contemplate giving up. Bravo.' Australian Women's Weekly'A dramatic and absorbing read about heartache and the strength of the mother-child bond.'Australian Bookseller and Publisher'Impossible to stop reading.'Sunday Mail

Genres: True Crime, Nonfiction

Paperback

First published January 1, 2008

Reviews

[Jeannie · Rating 3 out of 5]

Maybe I should of given this another star, it was a good read and moved along nicely...but...
I've read enough of this type of book- woman marries Middle Eastern man- to understand how this could happen. Her knowing what and how her husband was and what he was capable of, she should NEVER have left her daughter alone with him, not for one second!! She does agonize over this fateful decision more than once in the book and my heart goes out to her for that. I can forgive her that. But when she had the opportunity, more than once, to steal her daughter back, does she do it? No! Instead of listening to her heart,she asks the advice of several psycologists and is told it would cause her daughter trauma. Well excuse me!! I believe it was a greater trauma that this little girl was manipulated and controlled by her psycotic father on top of being told her mother was dead!! Instead she went back to her fancy life in Dubai, going on holidays, enjoying fancy dinners out, etc...all, as she says, to keep her mind occupied. Sorry! This mom right here doesn't understand.
And then in the end, they don't end up having a proper mother-daughter relationship. How could they ever?
Good read, but disappointing for me with the outcome.

[Aranka · Rating 4 out of 5]

I'm surprised that this book's rating is generally low, but then I can see some parts of the writing not so refined or intensely informative compared with others, presumably because it is non-fiction.

Overall, I think it is a worthwhile book, definitely belong to the sort that "take you to the world".

I was intrigued by Margaret's endurance to thrive in her career while going through all the bureaucracies and ups and downs to unite with her daughter, using her wits occasionally to resolve unexpected situations, and even dangers. I was also mesmerised by her exposure to different culture in a range of places like Dubai, Spain, Libya, Australia and the UK. Her struggles in communications and acclimation in Spain makes me feel more imperative to learn new languages, considering that working in a different culture is not a distant thing. It was also interesting to see how the personal story can intertwine with historic events like the Libyan coup and Gulf war.

I was most shocked when the paediatricians in the book told Margaret not to reunite with Tanya until Tanya turns 16. I would think kids are probably more capable to deal with situations than adults assume. I also get a sense from the book that there is a long way to go before women are truly empowered.

[Suzanne · Rating 4 out of 5]

Earlier this year at a PROBUS talk I had organised in Sydney, I met an elegant, tall and worldy Australian woman who introduced herself as Margaret. After only a few minutes I felt a connection with her. When she told me about the book that she had written I knew I had to find and read it.

Gone: A Mother’s 14 Year Search for her Abducted Daughter is a memoir and work of love from Margaret Wilcox to her daughter Tanya.

How was this woman in front of me still standing? How could a 14 year search for your child not turn you into a crumpled mess and swallow you up into a deep, dark void?

Margaret’s story is real and raw. It shows the love of a mother for her child and the lengths a mother would go to in order to protect her child. I found myself wanting to yell at Margaret at times, “stop, don’t go” or “but why?”. I know all too well though that when the life is not yours and with the knowledge of what is to come under my belt my decisions for Margaret were much easier to make.

Libya, Spain, London and Dubai - Margaret lived a life of adventure, a life of beauty and tumult. Without Tanya she managed to survive but you will be left to decide if she truly was able to live.

Thank you Margaret for sharing your truth with us.
- Mariah and Me
(Review by Me)

[Raquel Cunha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Adoro ler histórias destas. Reais, que nos fazem abrir os olhos e perceber que nem tudo é como estamos habituados como seja. Que nem todas as vidas tem um rumo fácil e normal. Que existe dor e sofrimento na vida das pessoas. Preferia não ter estas histórias para ler e que não existissem ou fossem reais, mas não é uma realidade. Então dos livros que mais gosto de ler são estes porque me ensinam e me fazem crescer como pessoa. Não foi dos livros que mais gostei, confesso, demorei o meu tempo e não pré prendeu, pela maneira como está escrito talvez, mas quanto á história de vida não há muito acrescentar senão ficar boca aberta a cada página que se vai sabendo o rumo da vida das pessoas em questão. Chocante como as diferenças culturais podem causar tanta dor e impacto na vida de três pessoas. No final tudo teve um final melhor, mas quanto tempo precisam esperar para um final destes? E quantas histórias não tem um final tão bom assim?

[Rat · Rating 3 out of 5]

It was an OK book, it could go for exceedingly dull to fast paced and exiting at the turn of a page. I would recommend to anyone who doesn't mind a slow paced book and enjoys true story's.

[Alexandra Araújo · Rating 4 out of 5]

Uma vida perdida durante 14 anos... Uma luta para ter direito a ver a sua filha. Uma mulher lutadora!

[Zara Mitchell]

L

[Nadia Kebaier · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5

[Claudia Janeiro · Rating 5 out of 5]

Este livro saiu da estante onde estava a ganhar pó há algum tempo, em participação num Book Bingo, precisamente para ler livros perdidos na estante. Já nem me lembrava se o tinha comprado ou como tinha ido parar à estante.

Adorei este livro! Já tem uns anos, a narrativa inicia-se nos anos 70 e acompanhamos esta luta desta mãe por recuperar a sua filha raptada, numa altura em que a violência doméstica era considerada aceitável, em que não se falava de alienação parental, em que os recursos e os tribunais não estavam preparados para lidar com certas situações.

Não tinha ideia de ser uma história verídica, foi interessante por ser escrito em primeira mão e achei surpreendente a capacidade da escrita, que me fez sentir sempre num sufoco e correria até ao fim, sem querer largar o livro.

A história inicia-se na Líbia, e vai mudando de cenários, ora Espanha (Málaga, Marbella - onde estive no verão passado), ora Inglaterra, ora Emirados Árabes Unidos.

Além da história nuclear, também foi interessante acompanhar alguma história e evolução que iam acontecendo no Médio Oriente, nomeadamente na indústria do petróleo e gás natural, sempre a mais relevante nesses países e outros acontecimentos de instabilidade política.

Achei que a situação sobre o rapto iria resolver-se mais cedo, era um sufoco ver o tempo passar e o quanto se perdeu. Muita coisa foi conseguida a poder de muito dinheiro, porque felizmente a situação profissional de Margaret o permitiu, mas mesmo com rios de dinheiro, boas relações e conhecimentos, a coisa foi difícil.

A dada altura temi o pior. A autora de repente escreve uma frase que me fez pensar que estava tudo perdido. Mas pronto, a coisa melhorou e terminou bem.

Recomendo este livro. 🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟

[Melanie · Rating 4 out of 5]

What a heartbreaking story this was. A story about manipulation, heartbreak and oppression.

It was a wonderful insight into the trauma of forced separation and years of wondering, longing and searching.

I highly recommend this wonderful book.

[Kimberly · Rating 1 out of 5]

Crap

[Helen · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really interesting book. I found it sad that one parent can be so cruel to another to deny them watching their daughter growing up, I guess it takes all kinds. A good book.

[Michaela Smith · Rating 1 out of 5]

Badly written and boring. Ugh.