Almost Brown

by Charlotte Gill

An award-winning writer retraces her dysfunctional, biracial, globe-trotting family's journey as she reckons with ethnicity and belonging, diversity and race, and the complexities of life within a multicultural household.

Charlotte Gill's father is Indian. Her mother is English. They meet in 1960's London when the world is not quite ready for interracial love. Their union, a revolutionary act, results in a total meltdown of familial relations, a lot of immigration paperwork, and three children, all in varying shades of tan. Together they set off on a journey from the United Kingdom to Canada and to the United States in elusive pursuit of life, liberty, and happiness--a dream that eventually tears them apart.

Almost Brown is an exploration of diasporic intermingling involving parents of two different races and their half-brown children as they experience the paradoxes and conundrums of life as it's lived between race checkboxes. Eventually, her parents drift apart because they just aren't compatible. But as she finds herself distancing from her father too--why is she embarrassed to walk down the street with him and not her mom?--she doesn't know if it's because of his personality or his race. As a mixed-race child, was this her own unconscious bias favoring one parent over the other in the racial tug-of-war that plagues our society? Almost Brown looks for answers to questions shared by many mixed-race people: What are you? What does it mean to be a person of color when the concept is a societal invention and really only applies halfway if you are half white? And how does your relationship with your parents change as you change and grow older?

In a funny, turbulent, and ultimately heartwarming story, Gill examines the brilliant messiness of ancestry, "diversity," and the idea of "race," a historical concept that still informs our beliefs about ethnicity today.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Race, Biography, Family, Canada, Biography Memoir

256 pages, Hardcover

First published June 6, 2023

About the author

Charlotte Gill is the author of three books, including EATING DIRT, a tree-planting memoir, and LADYKILLER, a collection of short fiction. Her work has appeared in Vogue, Hazlitt, Best Canadian Stories, The Journey Prize Stories and elsewhere. Her latest title, ALMOST BROWN, a mixed-race family memoir, is published by Penguin Random House.

Reviews

[Samantha · Rating 3 out of 5]

Not quite sure who the audience for this memoir is, but it's probably a good read for those who can't relate but can learn something and for those who can relate. I'm somewhat in the latter category, and while it's hard to know what to feel about seeing your marginal identity represented but not identifying with all of it (which is a whole other discussion), I give Charlotte Gill props for writing about mixed race families and identity. Especially the more nuanced challenges of it, like one's own internalized racism when favoring the more westernized parent over the other ("other") one who doesn't comfortably slot into society. That is a tough thing to reckon with, much less write about publicly.

[Mark · Rating 4 out of 5]

In Almost Brown, Charlotte Gill offers a charming, lively, extraordinarily well-written memoir of being the product of a mixed-race family. Her father was a turban-wearing Sikh born in India, but raised in Kenya before making his way to England. Gill’s mother was English and Catholic, and given Gill’s parents met and married in the 1960s, that union probably broke a number of rules, if not formal legal ones, then plenty of informal religious and societal ones.

With such a marital mix, there were inevitable clashes, not just over culture, traditions, and values, but also personalities. Both of Gill’s parents had demanding, busy medical careers. In addition, her father displayed quite openly many of the stereotypical characteristics Indian men have about family roles related to children, wives, and mothers. The net result was that Gill’s father was essentially a hands-off father for all things domestic and administrative. True to form, though, he scrutinized the children’s academic performance with a steely, unforgiving eye.

The family moved to Canada, and from there, to the United States. A good part of the memoir is about Gill’s adolescence, when she navigated towards an understanding of who she was, packaged in this light-brown skin, with a mother who was as distinctly white as her father was unmistakably “coffee-bean” brown. She had a brother and sister, but doesn’t offer a great deal of biographical detail on them.

In the years that Gill raced towards her middle teens, her parents—more her father than her mother—began marching to their own drums. It seems as if money wasn’t an issue, but after contributing to the family budget, Gill’s father maintained a larger-than-life existence of flashy cars, snappy clothes, and regular unexplained weekend absences from the domestic hearth. Gill’s mother was more grounded in her traditional parenting role, which she appears to have performed heroically.

The parents divorced when Gill was 16: the mother stayed put with custody of the kids; the father drifted to parts unknown. Gill herself connects enough dots for the reader to witness school and college graduations and a budding career as a tree planter (?), then teacher and writer, and eventual marriage. She stays connected to her mother but is estranged from her father for a couple of decades.

And yet, Almost Brown is book-ended with chapters about her father, who finally established himself in McAllen, Texas, of all places. The reconciliation with her father is poignant and even seems organically sound. By the end of the book, one is certainly aware of, and appreciates, Gill’s exploration into race, identity, and the life experiences of an “almost brown” female growing up and living in three different countries. Since readers may see this book as predominantly about a father-daughter relationship, Gill may have cleverly and tantalizingly left room for a follow-up mother-daughter sequel (I hope).

I enjoyed Almost Brown —the honest story, the sparkling prose—because much of it resonated personally with me, a fourth-generation (possibly fifth) mixed-race, brown person (I’m way past the “almost” stage!) who has perceived, in a variety of networks through 70-plus years, different and interesting reactions to my color, accent, and history.

[Alex · Rating 5 out of 5]

Essential reading for first-gen Americans, people identifying as mixed race or any other racial minority in America... and also probably everyone else.

As a mixed-race, first-gen American kid, so many things in here felt familiar, which was eerie, but also comforting. From the comedic bits to the existential ones, this is such an accurate depiction of the experience of being mixed-race in America (or anywhere, really). Gill examines what it means to not belong to any one racial group, and what it means to be able to "pass" in certain circles while acknowledging that you can't really claim any circles as your own. Whether they want to or not, people of mixed race—really minorities in general—are often forced to confront their identities within the context of their parents' experiences, their grandparents' experiences, and so on. Gill weaves family history and world events into her memoir, not necessarily to justify her parents' behavior, but as a means of exploring the rationale behind it. I appreciate that she didn't write her parents into the background, or use them solely for comic relief or as simple symbols of "traditional values", which I feel is an easy trap to fall into. Rather, she fleshed them out into full human beings who probably deserve their own memoirs.

[nitya · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 ⭐️
i had to read this for school, we all had to pick a memoir.
i didn't think i would resonate with a character so much, or relate to it to this extent.
of course, the author and i have very different life stories, but as an Indian, i related to this a lot and it was truly so well written. i found myself highlighting so many quotes, even if it wasn't a relatable sentence.
i listened to it an audiobook too and the reader's voice was nice lol
it did get a BITTT slow for me towards the middle, which is why my rating is 4.5 stars, but other than that it was stellar <3

[Zuri · Rating 4 out of 5]

As the parent of a mixed-race child, I loved gaining insight into Gill's "almost brown" life. Additionally, this surprisingly comforting memoir echoed so much of my own father-child relationship. Gill's narrative felt like chatting with a long-lost cousin, discovering the similarities between our "identical" twin fathers. A straightforward, lovely read.

[Theresa · Rating 3 out of 5]

I am an Irish Canadian wife of a Japanese Canadian man married in 1979. One of our daughters had a child with a man whose mother is Jamaican and whose father is Guyanese. Our other two children have partners who are Pakistani and Vietnamese. We all live in Toronto. I’m the only white member of my family. I guess I was hoping to gain some greater understanding of the way my spouse, children and grandchild navigate the world.

[K.S.C. · Rating 2 out of 5]

DNF at 100 pages.
I was so excited to read this book as someone who also has mixed ancestry of colonizer/colonized, and for the smallest bit, this book was fascinating and relatable. But it began to drag. I kept trying to figure out why I wasn’t enjoying it and I realised: there is no story. No scenes to carry the tension. It’s just so much exposition about her parents’ behaviours and attitudes but nothing to show it AND it seems entirely irrelevant to the theme of ambiguous mixedness.

I just couldn’t anymore at it was feeling like a real chore to keep going. This book is fine if you just want constant exposition and facts.

[Wendy J. Whittingham · Rating 4 out of 5]

This story of a dysfunctional mixed race family tugged at my heartstrings. Some parts made me smile, others were nostalgic and there were some I found quite disturbing. You will want to yell: Don't Say That!
The father is a colourful Sikh character, however I would have liked to read more about the English mother in all fairness. Infrequently mentioned, the mother seems to have also had a great deal of influence.
A very good read. Some phrases from the book are ingrained in my mind possibly forever.

[☆ Mya ☆ · Rating 3 out of 5]

⭐️⭐️⭐️.75 stars rounded down because i found some of it to be incredibly wordy when not necessary.
as a mixed kid myself and one of my parents being an immigrant, i found this book to be incredibly relatable and insanely validating. i’ll be writing a lengthy review on this once i get over my sickness!! I LOVED THISSSSS!!!

[Alex Anderson · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not enjoyable. The author’s tone is quite dull and generally depressing. It was nice to see the evolution of her relationship with her father, who clearly was the star of the memoir (the alternate title of this book could have been Daddy Issues). Wish there were at least a few more positive experiences detailed versus the overwhelming negative attitude, despite a seemingly average amount of family drama.

[Leticia · Rating 1 out of 5]

I was hoping to hear more about her struggle with identity and race, which she only briefly mentioned at random times. Very dry and uneventful memoir.

[SundayAtDusk · Rating 3 out of 5]

Almost Brown is almost boring. Charlotte Gill spends way too much time talking about her father. He is not that interesting. All the mundane things about his life are not fascinating. It was hard to have any empathy for him, too, because he seemed self-centered. Even though his wife was also a working doctor, she was obviously the one who did everything at home, while he did nothing. He even went away on short trips to get away whenever he wanted. His trips eventually led to a divorce and later estrangement with the author, who did not see her father for eight years. She did not contact him and he did not contact her. Why should we spend so much time reading about this man? Because he had such an interesting ethnic background? Well, I guess the book is about being "almost brown", as opposed to being "almost white".

Ms. Gill's British mother married her father in England in the 1960s, where they faced scorn from others. (I do want to thank the author for affirming my beliefs that there is no way interracial couples were so well accepted in British society during the '40s, '50s and '60s, as strangely shown on British TV series that I have watched.) Her mother gets far less attention in the memoir, which only made me want to know so much more about her. The same with the author's younger sister. Was this interest a type of discrimination on my part? Did I want to know more about the white mother and the more white looking daughter because they were white? No, it was more like the little information about them made them seem more “mysterious” in a way. Or maybe I wished Ms. Gill would just stop talking so much about her father . . . and race.

It is a book about race, though, isn’t it? That’s the problem with full-length race memoirs, as opposed to essays on the topic. If you don’t think a person’s race is what’s most important about them, your attention can start to wane when there is so much talk about it. You want to know more about individuals as individuals, more about what makes them tick, and how they think and feel about all sorts of things. Things besides race issues. Not that those issues aren’t important. They certainly are for individuals who have faced prejudices and discrimination. Those matters have greatly defined them. Yet I wanted much more from Charlotte Gill’s memoir. I wanted more day-to-day life descriptions, more attention focused on all family members, more humor. I wanted more diversity.

(Note: I received a free e-ARC from NetGalley and the publisher.)

[JoAnn · Rating 4 out of 5]

As a historian I deeply appreciate Gill’s memoir, and for multiple reasons. Gill’s childhood experiences and those of her parents, captured from her memories and filtered through an adult lens retrospectively, highlights mid-twentieth century tensions of empire and our global journey towards decolonization. Moreover, Gill does it with a sensitivity to the internal, subjective conflict “colonials” often face as they grapple with their identities. The frustration of Self that Gill reveals to the reader, through her parents and her own struggles, is not an artifact of the past, singular to the decades of peak decolonization in the mid-twentieth century; these are still liminal spaces individuals occupy and traverse today.

In that respect, Gill’s memoir not only captures a particular zeitgeist of the 1950s-1980s — decades which saw a mass migration of colonials across the world, decolonization and independence movements coming to fruition, and a general cultural revolution across the world in terms of race, racism, and anti-paternalism — it also makes the reader aware of the continuity of this historical spirit and its legacy as it is lived today.

The success of this memoir is in large part due to Gill’s self awareness and willingness to see her parents (and herself) for the people they are; Gill examines them with an academic eye, as historical subjects, but also as emotional, affective beings whose desires and needs are universal across time and cultures. The result is a very relatable, human memoir, one which draws the reader into the nucleus of Gill’s family as well as the age in which they lived.

Some of Almost Brown‘s success must also be attributed to the fanciful and (for their time) outrageous characters her parents are, for the daring ways they each challenged the norms of their age in terms of race/racism, gender, and transnationality. This is where Gill’s memoir appeals to more than the smallish subset of readers whose interest is in post-colonial subjectivities; for while the memoir hinges on post-coloniality as its primary locus, it is also about the oppressions we inflict upon each other, the intersectionality of our daily lives, and the myriad of ways in which power flows or not even within a family. Gill’s mixed-race family serves as the perfect case study in which brown people and white people — that is, race — can be upended by gendered expectations, or vice versa. Gill’s white mother was submerged under her brown husband, even while he was marginalized by a society that saw him as inferior by dint of his skin color. She, in turn, was snubbed by both her husband and society for daring to be that which society deemed heroic: an independent-minded mother.

In short, Almost Brown is a memoir well worth the reading.

[Kathy · Rating 3 out of 5]

I received a digital ARC from the publisher in exchange for an honest review.

Almost Brown is a hybrid of narrative nonfiction and memoir that explores race through Gill's lens of growing up half English and half Indian, mostly in Canada and the United States. I loved the early chapters of the book, and Gill has a knack for depicting her father (in particular) as a larger than life character. As fascinating as her father is, Gill doesn't shed nearly as much light on the rest of her family (perhaps because her father is the link to her Indian/"almost brown" roots), to the point that I assumed for a large chunk of the book that her mother had passed away (she had not).

Gill does shed light on the history of being biracial, particularly in British societies/colonies, and illuminates many fascinating factoids, such as the history of the term "mulatto." She shares personal anecdotes of being questioned about her ethnicity, and professional anecdotes about the expectations to diversify college settings. However, she could have succinctly expressed her views in a handful of essays. Her exchanges with her father become repetitive, as do her discomforts with not fitting in easily in many settings. I wanted to know more about her siblings' experiences and views having grown up in the same family, and less about her father's politics. Gill is an adept writer, though, and I would probably try another book by her.

[Sharon · Rating 5 out of 5]

Charlotte Gill and her twin brother Alex are the children of a British mother and a Sikh father. The first part of the book is given over to the conflicted relationships in her family and the history behind their tensions.

The title, almost brown, comes from the difficulties she faced as she struggled to find where she fit in. She found information online on how to present a diversity statement in an interview process. The suggestion was to “openly declare one’s own subjective positioning. But I shrink from that task, too. I don’t want to state my race.”

Her brother looks like their father but she, favoring her white blonde, blue eyed mother, passes for white. She didn’t want to be given a position because of her race - “I’m not sure I want to be ambiguously, ethnic —just brown enough to pull it off, but sufficiently white to make a good ‘fit.”

Her parents marriage collapsed when she was in her teens and then she entered the competitive world of academia. She asks, “What does it mean to be brown? And where does this racial compartment cleave to whiteness?” The bookends of the book are her relationship with her father which was absolutely lovely. Redemption.

While tedious at times, I still give this two thumbs up.

[Enid Wray · Rating 5 out of 5]

Reminiscent of recent memoirs by the likes of Eternity Martis, Kamal al-Solyalee, Jesse Wente and others, this is a compelling and deeply personal meditation on race - and what it means to be a bi-racial person today in Canada - and in the world.

It is interesting that I’ve read this so soon after reading A History of Burning by Janika Oza. Like Oza, Charlotte Gill traces her family back to India - the Punjab in specific - pre-partition… and her family found their way to the UK, and then North America, also by way of East Africa.

I thoroughly enjoyed her trip down memory lane. She does a brilliant job of interrogating the past, and assessing her family's experience from a nuanced contemporary lens. I was swept up in her analysis of how the fact of her parents - their personalities and their histories, both individually and together - served to shape her experiences… and lead her on her journey to where she finds herself today.

The writing is beautiful - lyrical - and there was lots to like about this…

Another must-read title from Charlotte Gill.

Thanks to the publisher and Edelweiss for granting me access to an early digital review copy.

[Anna Bussabarger-Graf · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book was great at discussing the struggles of living in between identities and how that struggle never gets easier- despite changing dialogues on the topic and it being more out in the open now. In the story of her parents, where do the personal flaws come to blame or the more cross-cultural inflexibility? Both parents came from different places then chose to come settle down into an entirely different place than either of them were familiar with. Her personal story is interspersed with statistics on the state of affairs nowadays and issues pertaining to race. My favorite part was seeing how her relationship with her dad grew and changed over the years- that's a heartwarming part.

A fascinating read about cross-cultural relationships (+ children), difficulties in identifying and where to truly fit in, and success being different from STEM careers as laid out by your parents.

[Sahar Golshan · Rating 5 out of 5]

Happy publication day, ALMOST BROWN!

Thank you to Charlotte for sending me an advanced copy.

I was moved (emotionally and via the momentum of the text) by the experience of reading this work of meticulous observation. This multi-generational story is bolstered by intricately woven sociological and historical research about the powerful forces that shape notions and lived experiences of multiraciality.

Several scenes have stayed with me: vignettes that capture moments of vivid reflection. Still in my mind is the narrator’s contemplation of the dynamics of walking down the street with her father. Her meditations while people-watching in an airport. Many days have passed since I finished the memoir, but I am still pondering the questions it asks of the reader.

[Michelle Garrett · Rating 4 out of 5]

Thank you NetGalley for an advanced copy of ALMOST BROWN by Charlotte Gill. This was a bit of a slow read for me, but I enjoyed learning about Gill's unique point of view from the diverse background of her parents, to her nostalgic small town 80s upbringing, to her complicated relationship to her father, to her analysis of race and how its affected her personally. Her writing was visceral and richly detailed—she brought all the senses to life. She dove deep into all kinds of historical context for her background and it really was interesting to find out more about. I appreciated her nuanced perspective and the depth and beauty of her storytelling, even if it got a bit dense sometimes.

[Barbara Brydges · Rating 3 out of 5]

I’m giving this three stars even though I quit before the end, because for a large part of the book I enjoyed reading about Gill’s life as the child of a white mother and an East Indian (by way of Kenya) father. By and large, she didn’t seem to encounter much racism but was conflicted about her identify, and why her father was so difficult and demanding. By the end, she’s reconciled with him but I lost interest when the last chapters are focused on him. I wondered why he deserved all this attention, when it was her mother who not only bore the burden of child raising but did it without burdening her children.

[Alexis · Rating 5 out of 5]

I absolutely loved this book. Fiction and non-fiction author Charlotte Gill turns the lens towards her own childhood and family. She was born to a Sikh father and a white British mother. Her childhood was somewhat tumultous. But as a result of being mixed, she lives in the "between space." As a mixed race person, there was a lot I could relate to in the book. There were so many times I wanted to message Charlotte while I was reading. I also appreciate her examination of mixed race life, and some of the work that has been done in mixed race studies. Also, she included a section on the Partition of India, which is a major world event that very few people even know about.

[Floral-Aesthetic · Rating 5 out of 5]

~ 4.5 Stars ~

Basic Plot: This book is the memoir of Charlotte Gill, writing about her experiences as a biracial person and society’s views among other things.

My Thoughts: As a biracial person I throughly enjoyed (and related) to what Charlotte expresses in the book. I like how in some chapters she was more discussing society and its views of biracial people while in others it was more about her personal life experiences. It mentions that whole issue of belonging and examines race in ways I found myself relating too. Pretty good book, so 4.5 stars (though I am on the fence about rounding it to a 5).

[Phyllis Bernstein · Rating 4 out of 5]

3.5 stars. A unique memoir about growing up in a mixed racial household. Dad is brown and mom is white. The parents met in the 1960’s when a mixed marriage wasn’t accepted. They relocated several times, but ultimately their marriage did not work and they divorced. The author writes about situations of discrimination she endured growing up. Interestingly, she writes much more about her dad than her mom. I would have liked more info on the mom as well as on the other siblings. Overall an interesting book told from the author’s point of view growing up in her family situation

[Rom · Rating 4 out of 5]

A great memoir! I read this alongside my social justice course and enjoyed it more than I expected. Charlotte is an excellent writer, extremely eloquent. The at times lengthy elaborations on her father’s personality were a little too repetitive and dominant for my liking, but I nevertheless understand how that relationship plays a big role in her life and therefore occupied more space in her biography. I found the pieces in which she wrote on her mixed heritage, thoughts, feelings, concerns and experiences that come with it very valuable.

[Brenda D · Rating 4 out of 5]

This a unique book - an autobiography that is a slice of life about a young woman and her family which in her words is"a mixed-race family memoir". While this makes the book of significant importance for our times when so many children are born in families that combine diverse cultural heritages, however what I really enjoyed and I think is the greatest strength comes from the detailed description of people (particularly her father) that are so well drawn, that I feel I now know them personally. Definitely worth the read!

[Danny Corigliano · Rating 5 out of 5]

This is very well written book. Charlotte Gill opens up her life telling her story of growing up with parents from very different ethnicities. She describes her childhood to her adult life. I enjoy her use of humor to describe things. She puts things into a perspective you can relate to or understand. Thank you Charlotte for giving me the opportunity to read an advanced copy and review this book.

[HadiDee · Rating 3 out of 5]

Well written but ultimately rather thin with not a lot new or fresh to say. The run through her childhood was kinda par for biographies and reminisces, and her later reflections on being mixed race never delved very deep.

Her father sounds like an utter asshole, a selfish and immature man. By the end of the book they are not just reconciled but have love and affection for each other.

It’s puzzles me that the book is so much about the absent father (who was absent before her parents divorced) and not the mother who raised her. I guess we always yearn for what we do not have.

[Victoria · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

I really liked this read, it was a simple memoir and an enlightening perspective on being a mixed child. This book caught my attention as the mother of a mixed son is mixed (Indian and Canadian). I adore how Charlotte referred to both parents with humility, affection and humor. The book does focus on her father because I think that trying to understand his life was both healing and revealing for her and her readers.

[Pam Mooney · Rating 3 out of 5]

An important topic in today's America. I really related to Charlotte Gill's early life and school days. I enjoyed her perspective on white America family life. Sometimes real life and other times a complete miss - at least in my experience. It is essential to respect each other's story and continue to share our experiences across cultures.

[Yesmila · Rating 2 out of 5]

It was really difficult for me to read this book. The author depicted her father in a way i couldn’t bear him anymore. I would appreciated the book more if she had described her mother more often.
English is not my 1st language and the vocabulary used was a little complicated for me, maybe because I used to hear the American English.