5 *Call Me When You're Older* Stars
“You’re a bad man, Andrea Delarosa.” I nodded, laying my hand over the one she had on my face.
"I'll be good to you."
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
I love E.V.E.R.Y.T.H.I.N.G about this book. A mafia Don who once loved, suffered great loss and thinks he'll never find love again. A young girl who wants nothing more than to find love, but knows that she shouldn't, as she will die sooner rather than later.
Mallory Hart has woven such a great story of forbidden love. Unrequited love. A slow burn wrought with sexual tension. Claire and Andrea's story takes years to unfold. At first, she's too young. Andrea won't have anything to do with her...but, yet, he's still drawn to her. It starts with a conversation on a balcony, then a dance in a ballroom, then a kiss on the cheek. The pacing of this book is just perfection and really shows how their attraction grew over the years.
And, Andrea Delarosa is the perfect MMC. He's the right amount of jealous/possessive with a heavy dose of protectiveness. He's always kept an eye on Claire, as he didn't feel her family did, nor did he feel that they educated her in the ways of the mafia and the things she should/should not be doing. He recognized her innocence and knew if would be her undoing.
This whole series is about life in mafia...especially what it means to be a girl growing up in the life. Although not quite as well known as Danielle Lori or some of the other authors in the mafia world, Mallory Hart is a hidden gem. This book and the series is right up there with all of my other favorites. I love her writing. She writes with such intimacy, catching all of the tiny nuances of each character. I love her storytelling. And, above all, I love the characters she's created. This is a world I could get lost in and not leave. If you are a fan of slow burn, character-driven mafia stories, I cannot recommend this enough. It will be one I read over and over.
Song: Claire de Lune, The Cure's 'Just Like Heaven'
Nicknames/Endearments: Piccola Rossa {Little Red}, Rossa {Red}, Principessa, Bellissima
When you spent every day waiting for the inevitable, Death wasn’t so taboo. I didn’t fear her. We were old friends.
“Didn’t your mother teach you not to talk to strangers?” I shrugged.
“Strangers are just friends you haven’t yet met.”
“Call me when you’re a little older.”
Dark eyes flashed. In the strange red light, I realized why everyone talked about him in whispers. He didn’t look like a man. He looked like the devil. Good thing Death and I were best friends.
“Tanya?” I asked, refusing to look at her. I couldn’t ask it if I did. Beneath my breath, I murmured, “What does it mean if a man tells you to ‘call him when you’re older’?”
“Usually, that he wants to fuck you but thinks you’re too young. If you have to ask that, he’s probably right.”
“You can’t control other people, piccola rossa."
“Sorry,” I whispered, stumbling on my heel. “It’s fine. I’ll find another broody man to dance with.”
Arms hung limply at his sides, he stared at me like this was, in fact, the stupidest thing he’d ever done. I kind of felt the same.
I yelped as he tugged me forward, the only room for Jesus if the Son was a piece of paper. Every point of contact—and there were a lot of them—set on fire beneath my dress. One hand roamed up my side as his hips rolled against mine. When that hand fisted my hair, I told myself this was still very cousinly.
I took a moment to look at her. For some reason, I wanted to remember the exact way her breath sounded when she realized what I was about to do.
A lesson I took away—morbid curiosity was that for a reason. For some reason, I wanted to remember. For another, I wanted the taste of her to be a lot more than just a memory.
“You can’t please everyone, piccola rossa.”
“Is it better to be like you, then? Always displeasing people?” His gaze turned on me, slow and lazy. He didn’t appear amused at all as he asked, “Do I displease you?”
That electric current sang beneath my skin, mouth tingling in anticipation as he stared at me long and hard, taking a deep sip of bourbon with his lips right over where mine had been.
“Your comment was still unnecessary.” Frowning, I added, “It displeased me.”
An old friend. As in, he had friends. Friends, dimples, a smile, a cozy apartment, and a messy bed. A person. He was a person.
Standing in the center of the apartment, he clutched his glass in one hand and shoved the other in his pocket. Whiskey irises roamed over me, like he was deciding if I fit into the layout or not.
It was only a few hours ago, but the memory of him drinking bourbon flashed in my head. The way he held my eyes as he raised the glass to his lips, the curve of them as they brushed the remnant of my lipstick. In a way, it was our first kiss.
A black cross inked over his heart gleamed under the lights, and then I was shoved down to the cushions.
“You taste even better.”
“Are you going to come for me, piccola rossa?"
Taking her home, not a part of the plan. But she’d agreed to it, and I wrongly assumed she knew what she was getting into. I felt as much for Claire McGowan as I felt for the wall. The only difference, Claire had a better ass.
I’m not shy. I’ve done this before. There was absolutely no reason those seven words should have infuriated me the way they did.
So I could admit it bothered me a bit. Along with those brilliant smiles she gave everyone else while in the same breath threw a shoe at my head. In addition to the way she was a ball of sunshine to the world but viewed me like Satan. While we were completely fucking candid, I also hated the way she always looked at me like I was about to snuff the light out of her.
But mostly, because she was the first woman in years I didn’t picture as a blonde. It would have been an injustice—piccola rossa’s hair was as integral to her as her hatred for me.
“Go back to sleep, Claire.”
“Were you playing for me?”
“It’s ‘Clair de Lune,’” I whispered, leaning my head against his chest. “My favorite.”
“Because it has your name?” I shook my head, stumbling with the effort. Warmth and citrus caught me, holding me up.
“My music box."
“Go back to sleep, piccola rossa.”
“Am I old enough yet?”
Bitter tears clogged my throat, but I shoved those down too. I wanted a life where it was okay to cry because I didn’t have to live every day to the fullest. Enough time to take a couple of bad days and take a rain check on being happy for once.
Her mass-murdering, criminal-syndicate-running, gun-wielding uncle. The perfect babysitter.
“You can’t just walk wherever you want, Claire. You’re smarter than that.”
I stared out the window instead of answering him. Everyone always had these cryptic warnings, but I was yet to run into any trouble. In fact, the only trouble I seemed to get into was with the knight in shining armor next to me.
“Everyone thinks you’re a god, but you look like a man to me.”
“Is it about last night?”
“No.”
“You sure?”
“Oui, I’m sure. I get drugged and kidnapped by crime lords all the time.”
“I don’t drug women.”
“I’m pretty sure I was drugged."
“You were.” His cold words swam around us, thickening the air. “But I didn’t do it.”
“I woke up in your bed.”
“You did. You’re welcome for that. The alternative would have been displeasing."
There were things I didn’t understand, him most of all. Because if my parents could kiss me good night and kill people, then it was possible he loved like that too.
“I didn’t realize God tasked you with delivering judgment.”
“I don’t need the bible to know you’re a bad man."
"Am I?" “Then maybe it’s time I start living up to your expectations." “You want me to be the bad one between us?” “Is that what you want?” “Yeah, that’s what you want."
He claimed his own section of my psyche. The last person who should invade my thoughts ruled them.
“I’m sorry." “I didn’t realize.” He bit the inside of his cheek, the most nervous look I'd ever seen on him. “I’m going to make it up to you, okay?" “I want you to listen to me for a minute." “I would have never done that if I knew. I shouldn’t have done it anyway.” His lips drifted down, leaving a tender kiss over that fluttering pulse. “I was frustrated, and I took it out on you.” His thumb brushed over my cheek, pulling me tight against his mouth. “You can tell me no. You can tell me to take you home. But I don't want that to be your first time, so let me do it better."
“I’m not going to sleep with you to ease your conscience.” The corner of his lip tugged up, holding no humor. “I think I proved my desire to sleep with you goes beyond guilt."
"Then why haven't you?"
“Because I shouldn't."
"And now?"
"Our secret," he murmured.
“Things could get complicated with your family, so I want this between me and you." “Our secret. If you’re okay with that, I’ll make it up to you as many times as you want."
“You’re so good, getting so wet for me."
“What’s wrong?"
“I’m a little nervous.”
“Don’t be.” His hand came back between us, rubbing my clit. “I’ll take care of you.” Then he grabbed my hand, bringing it lower . . . lower. My fingers brushed over his cock, and he wrapped my hand around it. "I want to take care of you so fucking badly."
“You’ll fit, right?”
“You can take it."
“You’ll let me stretch you out and fuck every inch of you."
“I’ve wanted you for a long time."
“You feel so good it’s a fucking sin."
“You’re gonna come around my cock, piccola rossa."
He didn’t need to make it up to me. He didn’t need to fix this. It could have been his own selfish desire to get me in bed, but the way he looked at me warped my perceptions. Of him, of us, of whatever this was, because he no longer looked at me like he hated me. He looked at me like I was the only thing he ever wanted.
I liked how she looked at me on New Year’s. I liked her shy smile after I kissed her cheek on Christmas. I liked how she looked with my finger in her mouth, wide eyes staring at me like I was God as I fucked her. Those little looks were few and far between, and I pathetically held on to each one. I didn’t want her smiling at waiters, at her friends, at strangers in a bar. I wanted her smiling at me.
“We’ll talk later.”
“We’ll talk now.”
“It’s your daughter’s baptism. Maybe this should wait.”
“Stay the fuck away from my cousin.” Turning his harsh glare on me, Darragh hissed, "And you stay the fuck away from him."
“I’ll never understand your vices.” He stared at me, something unreadable in his face.
"Me neither."
“If you planned on staying in, why did you tell me to wear something nice?"
“Because I wanted to see you in something nice?"
“This isn’t a thing,” I said. I waved my free hand between us and took a healthy sip of wine. “Sorry if I gave you the wrong idea the other week, but I'm not sleeping with you."
“You are,” he said. Simple. Matter-of-fact.
“Are you, Mr. Andrea Delarosa, having intercourse with any other human females?"
“Not as long as you’re taking those."
“This is not a thing."
“Our secret."
“Ask me nicely,” I whispered.
His gaze turned serious. “Please let me do dirty things to you."
“I’ll consider it. With condoms.”
“As long as I’m sleeping with you, I won’t be with anyone else.” He crossed one ankle over the other, a movement I was distinctly aware of even though his ankles were under my chair. "So I'm not fucking you with a condom on."
The killer with a picture of his niece on his desk. The manwhore who kept toiletries for his sister at his place. I didn’t think a lifetime would be enough to figure him out.
“As long as our little arrangement is going, there won’t be anyone else. You have my word."
“And what if I want to sleep with other people?"
“If you sleep with anyone else, Claire, I will fucking kill them."
“I like you better without makeup."
“I like makeup,” I whispered, hating how it sounded. Like a plea. His voice came out a low murmur. “Can't see your freckles with it."
“Piccola rossa,” he said, my nickname harboring a threat. “Why aren’t you coming for me?"
“You need to do a little better than that."
"Do I?"
“The faster you come for me, the sooner I'll fuck you."
“I’ll come with you inside me.”
“You’ll come then too,” he growled. “But first, I’m going to taste every dirty thought you've had while you finish."
“Now you can come with me inside you."
He tasted like darkness, sin, death, all the things I resisted and craved so deeply at the same time. I knew right then I’d lied to myself before. I didn’t resist him because I feared him. I did it because nothing would match this. Not the sensual books, not my own fingers, not another man. I craved Andrea. The darkness, the sin, all of it. I didn’t want to finish with another man’s cock inside me. I wanted rough hands gripping my face, telling me to watch him while that dangerous current wrapped around my skin.
“Do you want to watch me fuck you, principessa?"
“You want to watch me take care of you?"
“I’m going to be very, very nice to you now."
“Ti voglio così tanto che fa male." {I want you so much it hurts}
“I want you to come for me, rossa."
Unlike her cousins, I wasn’t going to be fucking nice about it either. I was pissed. Pissed that she didn’t think, again. Pissed that she would do this to herself. Pissed that I knew exactly how to handle this shit after a lifetime of it.
Right now, anger was control. The opposite of my usual methods, but if that anger bled out of me completely, it’d be replaced with something else. Something scented like cotton candy, breathing my name in the dark with a blush coating her face.
"Look at me." "Where's my sunshine?"
"I don't know anymore."
Dark clouds had cleared, letting a bright, silvery moon hang in the sky. Moonlight washed the room, clinging to her soaked skin like glitter. For a moment, I just stared. Peacefulness stole her expression while she slept. It didn’t matter she still had makeup running down her face, that her soaked hair lay in a matted mess on top of her head. When I said Claire glowed, I truly meant it. It was the worst circumstances imaginable, but she was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Shadows and darkness beside glitter and light.
Pressing my lips together, I fought to control the anger constricting my throat. The same rage demanded to pry open those soft, pink lips and make her tell me exactly what happened. Because if it was someone else, if someone did that to her, they’d be begging for hell by the time I killed them. Nobody fucking touched piccola rossa.
“Claire.” Her name was her undoing but also mine. I only used it when I needed something: her attention, her forgiveness, her time.
“It’s a pacemaker.” Soft words caught around her trembling breath. “My heart stopped. It doesn't work right anymore."
It worked just fine if you asked me. Maybe a little too well. It was a miracle she was alive at all, with the way her heart bled for everything and everyone around her.
My hands remained on her hips. Hands covered in blood, filth, things that didn’t belong on skin that glowed for the moonlight. Everything I touched I destroyed. Death followed me like an old friend.
“Don’t look at me like that,” she whispered.
“Like what?”
“Broken.”
"You're not broken."
I wasn’t letting her go home.
“You’re not broken.” She finally looked at me. Really looked at me. “I promise, alright? I’ve seen a lot worse than you."
“You don’t have to hide with me," I said.
“To everyone else, fine,” I continued.
“Put the mask on, I don’t care. You know I’ll do the same.” Leaning forward, I pressed a kiss to her cheek. Her answering breath all but ruined me. “But here...I'll commit your sins if you take my virtues."
“You’re a bad man, Andrea Delarosa.” I nodded, laying my hand over the one she had on my face.
"I'll be good to you."
“What happens when a crime boss takes a sick day?” My eyes traced the curves of her hips, barely hearing a thing she said. “The usual. Cocaine trade collapses, an entire precinct retires, shootings go down by two hundred percent."
If we did things my way, it’d go a little something like this: I’d place my hands on either side of her, boxing her in against the counter. Then, I’d give her ten seconds to tell me exactly what she needed from her apartment and to write it down. She’d dutifully do it because she was a good little rossa before slipping off that T-shirt and dropping to her knees. And just for disobeying me before it was even nine, she'd wrap those soft lips around my dick until I can on her tits.
“Since when do you care about me?” She was going to give me a fucking stroke. “Since you were drugged on my property, walk my streets unsupervised, and showed up at my door on the brink of death."
“You shouldn’t care about me.” My eyes narrowed on her. How about she didn’t tell me what to do? “Well, I do. You can get the fuck over it now and make me that list."
I slapped her ass again. Harder. Her following yelp put more than a few dirty ideas in my head. I slapped her one more time for good measure. She glared. “What was the last one for?" I winked.
"To remind you I own it."
The scent wrapped around me like a sin. God really was fucking good sometimes.
Claire was nothing but a passing phase. If I fucked her enough, I’d get her out of my system, and then we’d never speak of this again. In my ideal situation, that’d be exactly how it went. But there seemed to be Claire's way, my way, and the way shit decided to go.
Three hours ago, I’d been told I only had ten years with her. Three hours ago, ten years seemed like nothing. Two hours ago, I learned just how long twenty seconds was when someone’s heart stopped beating. Right now, I realized just how much I’d trade for five hours. Minutes. Seconds. Claire could kiss me back in five seconds.
“I don’t think it’ll be easy. Honestly, you probably deserve a lot better than me. But I’ll try for you, rossa. I’ll never stop trying. And whether I get fifty years with you or five minutes, I'd rather have that than nothing at all. Every second I have with you is the most I could ever ask for."