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I am not Raymond Wallace: one man's mistake is another man's making
Manhattan, 1963: weeks before the assassination of President Kennedy, fresh-faced Raymond Wallace lands in the New York Times newsroom on a three-month bursary from Cambridge University. He soon discovers his elusive boss, Bukowski, is being covertly blackmailed by an estranged wife, and that he himself is to assist the straight-laced Doty on an article about the ‘explosion of overt homosexuality’ in the city. On an undercover assignment, a secret world is revealed to Raymond: a world in which he need no longer pretend to be something or someone he cannot be; a world in which he meets Joey.
Like so many men of his time and of his kind, Raymond faces a choice between conformity, courage and compartmentalisation. The decision he makes will ricochet destructively through lives and decades until—in another time, another city; in Paris, 2003—Raymond’s son Joe finally meets Joey. And the healing begins.
I Am not Raymond Wallace is a multi-stranded story of queer redemption spanning multiple generations, told with precision-tooled prose, sharply-imagined settings and compassionately-observed characterisation.
Like so many men of his time and of his kind, Raymond faces a choice between conformity, courage and compartmentalisation. The decision he makes will ricochet destructively through lives and decades until—in another time, another city; in Paris, 2003—Raymond’s son Joe finally meets Joey. And the healing begins.
I Am not Raymond Wallace is a multi-stranded story of queer redemption spanning multiple generations, told with precision-tooled prose, sharply-imagined settings and compassionately-observed characterisation.
252 pages, Kindle Edition
Published September 15, 2022
24 people are currently reading
180 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews
December 5, 2022
There has been a much-deserved revision of Stonewall and pre-Stonewall history in recent years, shifting focus from white men to people of color - and in particular, trans people of color - who bore the brunt of police violence and who played an outsized role in activist circles. It is against this recontextualization that Sam Kenyon has written his debut novel, I am not Raymond Wallace, a story about closeted cis men set largely in 1963. It's unclear to me what purpose this novel serves, other than to reinforce an outdated narrative that featured privileged protagonists who had the luxury of a closet. In terms of execution, it’s well done for a straightforward novel. Kenyon does a nice job recreating the pre-Stonewall milieu and there are some nice touches to the story. As others have noted, this is a rather character-driven work, which veers into romance. I'm not a reader of MM romance, so perhaps this is nicely done for the genre, but in terms of the larger discussions taking place in the queer community, this seems to be a rather unsympathetically framed narrative.
February 16, 2023
I loved this book. I found it to be heart breaking, yet hopeful. It wasn't what I was expecting, in terms of the method of story telling, being a story within a story, but I just loved it. I strongly identified with the way that the internalised homophobia was portrayed and how it played out.
June 15, 2024
Underwhelming writing, decent plot. There’s a lot of better retrospective queer (white gay man) literature out there.
October 6, 2022
4.5 rounded up to 5
Raymond Wallace, a recent graduate of Cambridge of age 21, arrives in NYC in the summer of 1963 for a 3-month internship with the NY Times. He is assigned to assist newsman Doty with an article about the threat of homosexuality. The editor assigning him - Bukowski - is in the closet as is Bukowski's assistant Delores. They are using Raymond to help them tone down Doty's article.
Doty assigns Raymond to go undercover and discover the codes used by the homosexuals to identify themselves to each other. Doty tells Raymond he needs more fashionable clothes, gives Raymond $40, and tells him to ask Delores where to go. Raymond does just that. Then he goes for a long walk from midtown to Brooklyn. He serendipitously gets into a bar that requires a secret knock and meets Joey and feels a very strong attachment. It doesn't take long before Joey and Raymond are together and in love. Joey introduces him to his father Papi who Joey lives with. Raymond is comfortable for the first time in his life. But then ....
I thought this was a well-written debut novel by a not so young new author. It tells important history of what it was like to be homosexual in the 1950s and 1960s - fear of losing job, being blackmailed, thought to be sick, etc, etc. This history cannot be forgotten by younger generations, just like forgetting that abortion was once illegal and resulted in many tragedies (oh yeah, that's changed hasn't it).
Raymond Wallace, a recent graduate of Cambridge of age 21, arrives in NYC in the summer of 1963 for a 3-month internship with the NY Times. He is assigned to assist newsman Doty with an article about the threat of homosexuality. The editor assigning him - Bukowski - is in the closet as is Bukowski's assistant Delores. They are using Raymond to help them tone down Doty's article.
Doty assigns Raymond to go undercover and discover the codes used by the homosexuals to identify themselves to each other. Doty tells Raymond he needs more fashionable clothes, gives Raymond $40, and tells him to ask Delores where to go. Raymond does just that. Then he goes for a long walk from midtown to Brooklyn. He serendipitously gets into a bar that requires a secret knock and meets Joey and feels a very strong attachment. It doesn't take long before Joey and Raymond are together and in love. Joey introduces him to his father Papi who Joey lives with. Raymond is comfortable for the first time in his life. But then ....
I thought this was a well-written debut novel by a not so young new author. It tells important history of what it was like to be homosexual in the 1950s and 1960s - fear of losing job, being blackmailed, thought to be sick, etc, etc. This history cannot be forgotten by younger generations, just like forgetting that abortion was once illegal and resulted in many tragedies (oh yeah, that's changed hasn't it).
October 19, 2022
A beautifully written debut that speaks with a clear and concise voice. I couldn't put this book down, I had to make myself when I had things to do, otherwise I would have sat in one place until I finished it.
I feel that if you enjoyed books like Lie with Me or Swimming in the Dark (two of my absolute favourite books) you'll also love this book.
I can't wait to see what else Sam writes, but I know he has an audience in me going forward whatever he decided to write next.
I hope more discover his work.
I feel that if you enjoyed books like Lie with Me or Swimming in the Dark (two of my absolute favourite books) you'll also love this book.
I can't wait to see what else Sam writes, but I know he has an audience in me going forward whatever he decided to write next.
I hope more discover his work.
August 21, 2025
SO beautiful, SO heartbreaking, cried on the train
August 29, 2024
Absolutely loved this book, a slow gentle story told from three different perspectives, I enjoyed each voice and the symmetry of the last voice. Wonderfully written, a moving reminder that the challenges of being gay, were very different in the 1960’s, especially for a timid Englishman.
Another recommendation from Gays the Word books of the year, Jim's list, he hasn't steered me wrong yet...
Another recommendation from Gays the Word books of the year, Jim's list, he hasn't steered me wrong yet...
December 5, 2022
Beautifully crafted tale of love
It ticked all of the boxes for me. Delightfully chosen adjectives skilfully woven into a tale of hard choices in a difficult time, loss and being found. Although I needed to take a break during the Paris visit, and I wiped tears from my eyes more than once, it was a beautiful story crafted artfully. I’m looking forward to his next œvre.
It ticked all of the boxes for me. Delightfully chosen adjectives skilfully woven into a tale of hard choices in a difficult time, loss and being found. Although I needed to take a break during the Paris visit, and I wiped tears from my eyes more than once, it was a beautiful story crafted artfully. I’m looking forward to his next œvre.
November 23, 2022
Absolutely beautiful....
December 1, 2022
don’t hesitate on this one
It is a beautiful, sometimes painful read. A nearly perfect novel. To be honest, at the end I’m nearly speechless.
It is a beautiful, sometimes painful read. A nearly perfect novel. To be honest, at the end I’m nearly speechless.
December 5, 2022
A powerful and moving gay novel which has a superb sense of verisimilitude- richly rewarding despite the plaintive tone
May 14, 2023
Bravuro!! This debut novel by Sam Kenyon has got to be if NOT the BEST novel I have read in the last 3 years!!
1963. Manhattan New York. And Gay.
21 year old Raymond Wallace is going to Cambridge University and is sent to New York for a 3 month internship at the New York Times, and he has no idea that he is gay. When Raymond takes this 'job' and is told that he needs more 'appropriate for the times' clothing to fit in to the group that he is going to be doing undercover writing for; he has no idea that he is going to fall in love whole heartedly for the first time in his life with the young man at the clothier. Joey the young shop boy, and fashionista is immediately smitten with Raymond as soon as he walks into the door of the shop. What continues for the rest of the 300 plus pages of this debut novel has got to be the most beautifully written account of a 21 year old mans 'Sexual Awakenings' as I have ever read. I have read many!
As my self a gay boy growing up in the early 60's and knowing it at the age of 6, I could relate to SO MUCH of what was going on in this book made this THE story that i will NEVER ever forget, nor will I forget Raymond Wallace.
There are and were scenes of gay sex portrayed quite vividly, but this should be a story that anyone and not only gay men or boys, should read if you know what true and real love and love for LIFE is all about. Stunning.
HIGHLY recommended!
5 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
1963. Manhattan New York. And Gay.
21 year old Raymond Wallace is going to Cambridge University and is sent to New York for a 3 month internship at the New York Times, and he has no idea that he is gay. When Raymond takes this 'job' and is told that he needs more 'appropriate for the times' clothing to fit in to the group that he is going to be doing undercover writing for; he has no idea that he is going to fall in love whole heartedly for the first time in his life with the young man at the clothier. Joey the young shop boy, and fashionista is immediately smitten with Raymond as soon as he walks into the door of the shop. What continues for the rest of the 300 plus pages of this debut novel has got to be the most beautifully written account of a 21 year old mans 'Sexual Awakenings' as I have ever read. I have read many!
As my self a gay boy growing up in the early 60's and knowing it at the age of 6, I could relate to SO MUCH of what was going on in this book made this THE story that i will NEVER ever forget, nor will I forget Raymond Wallace.
There are and were scenes of gay sex portrayed quite vividly, but this should be a story that anyone and not only gay men or boys, should read if you know what true and real love and love for LIFE is all about. Stunning.
HIGHLY recommended!
5 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤
November 20, 2022
3.5 It's a good book, just not particularly my kind of thing. A "historical" novel that starts in 1963 with some looks back and an epilogue that is set in modern times. I guess you could call it a gay romance. There are several very graphic gay male sex scenes. The romance is pretty much doomed from the beginning, given that in 1963 homosexuality is still the love that dare not say its name. He does a good job of evoking those times, the shame, the fear and paranoia, the hiding and recognition codes. And the way that gay men of the time, under the pressure of all that, tended towards hot, furtive, anonymous sex with strangers. It's enough to make the reader feel pretty sleazy and dirty just reading it.
Raymond does manage to get through all that and make a real, lasting, loving connection with Joey. But then he does not have the courage to take all the risks he would need to take, to live out his romance. There's a kind of sad, dark, depressive ambiance suffusing much of the book, even though in both the historical and modern section there are gay men who accept themselves and live lives full of people, fun, art (but not mostly lasting relationships). There are lots of sort of philosophical themes about art, literature, identity.
This is a very character driven book. To the extent there is a plot (boy meets boy, boy loses boy...) it is very dependent on a lot of coincidences. Incidentally, this is the opposite of chick lit. There are few female characters and they mostly make brief appearances and have few lines to speak.
Raymond does manage to get through all that and make a real, lasting, loving connection with Joey. But then he does not have the courage to take all the risks he would need to take, to live out his romance. There's a kind of sad, dark, depressive ambiance suffusing much of the book, even though in both the historical and modern section there are gay men who accept themselves and live lives full of people, fun, art (but not mostly lasting relationships). There are lots of sort of philosophical themes about art, literature, identity.
This is a very character driven book. To the extent there is a plot (boy meets boy, boy loses boy...) it is very dependent on a lot of coincidences. Incidentally, this is the opposite of chick lit. There are few female characters and they mostly make brief appearances and have few lines to speak.
July 22, 2023
I will say straight away that I have known this author since he was six years old. This in no way makes me more likely to give the book a glowing review because when we used to sit together in school orchestra, he was quite annoying.
But I really do like this book. It reminded me a little of Patrick Gale and I mean that as a compliment, as I like Gale very much. It was moving, sad, but with enough hope not to be too depressing. There are some lovely major and minor characters - I particularly liked Dolores of the major characters and of the minor characters, Joshua (thrilled to be immortalised) and Sonia (70 but still sure of her sex appeal). Doty is suitably loathsome with his enthusiasm for a "cure". It reminds us how bad things were for LGBT+ people within living memory - and indeed continue to be in many countries around the world.
The sex scenes are quite frank, so I couldn't give it to my 88 year old mother, but if you're OK with those, I would recommend it and I look forward to any future novels.
So I hope Sam will let me off embarrassing him a bit.
But I really do like this book. It reminded me a little of Patrick Gale and I mean that as a compliment, as I like Gale very much. It was moving, sad, but with enough hope not to be too depressing. There are some lovely major and minor characters - I particularly liked Dolores of the major characters and of the minor characters, Joshua (thrilled to be immortalised) and Sonia (70 but still sure of her sex appeal). Doty is suitably loathsome with his enthusiasm for a "cure". It reminds us how bad things were for LGBT+ people within living memory - and indeed continue to be in many countries around the world.
The sex scenes are quite frank, so I couldn't give it to my 88 year old mother, but if you're OK with those, I would recommend it and I look forward to any future novels.
So I hope Sam will let me off embarrassing him a bit.
October 3, 2022
Everything from the cover, the styles of writing, and the story lines I adored about this book. It is a very strong debut for this writer, and one that I have recommended to a book group I have run as an ideal read going up to Christmas!
Surprisingly graphic in a few places, the story is lovely and warm, and you can fall in love with the protagonist of the title easily.
The story is highly evocative of Manhattan in 1963 at the start and written in a traditional novel style. In part two which is set in 2003 and starts two thirds of the way through the book - some of the characters use 'letters' to communicate with other people to continue the narrative. I thought this change would not work, but it did brilliantly!
A lovely, lovely book which I would thoroughly recommend!
Surprisingly graphic in a few places, the story is lovely and warm, and you can fall in love with the protagonist of the title easily.
The story is highly evocative of Manhattan in 1963 at the start and written in a traditional novel style. In part two which is set in 2003 and starts two thirds of the way through the book - some of the characters use 'letters' to communicate with other people to continue the narrative. I thought this change would not work, but it did brilliantly!
A lovely, lovely book which I would thoroughly recommend!
June 17, 2024
Brilliant: how can this be fiction?
As one of the publisher's older readers for whom this is a remarkable flashback, I am seriously overwhelmed with this erudite fictional biography. Albeit starting a decade before my own trail through life, Kenyon brushes against so many memories, desires, and frustration that I frequently teared up and need to share this novel with my friends.
As one of the publisher's older readers for whom this is a remarkable flashback, I am seriously overwhelmed with this erudite fictional biography. Albeit starting a decade before my own trail through life, Kenyon brushes against so many memories, desires, and frustration that I frequently teared up and need to share this novel with my friends.
June 11, 2023
too wordy about nothing….
Times change, but people really don’t….there were some good situations that could have been explained or explored…. Mostly, many people that live in their heads don’t off themselves. Could have been better. This author had too many opinions from others. I would have love to have read his first draft.
Times change, but people really don’t….there were some good situations that could have been explained or explored…. Mostly, many people that live in their heads don’t off themselves. Could have been better. This author had too many opinions from others. I would have love to have read his first draft.
November 5, 2024
Everything on the page was a gorgeous yet heart wrenching narrative that made me feel heard, seen and also just tragically sad. I read this in a single day and my tears probably still stain the paper in the pages to this day.
November 29, 2025
as if a mirror
Beautifully written and told. It well tells what life was like for many of us and still is for far too many. The line in the book, “as with all the best art, at its centre I find myself”, says all that needs to be said.
Beautifully written and told. It well tells what life was like for many of us and still is for far too many. The line in the book, “as with all the best art, at its centre I find myself”, says all that needs to be said.
November 19, 2022
A very nice,surprisingly moving read, but also one that is somewhat heartbreaking and tragic. Still, engaging and compelling.
November 24, 2022
U❤️N❤️P❤️U❤️T❤️D❤️O❤️W❤️N❤️A❤️B❤️L❤️E
February 22, 2023
Beautiful. Gripping. Moving.
May 23, 2025
It is a great story populated with two dimensanl characters. Well narrated for the audio version, to bring the words to life.
January 20, 2026
A heartfelt love story that spans generations
Such a lovely read. Crushing and sweet and full of a real human spirit that falls in love while squelching it at the same time.
Such a lovely read. Crushing and sweet and full of a real human spirit that falls in love while squelching it at the same time.
December 22, 2022
A beautiful piece of writing! The first part feels so vivid and powerful, and the second one just tears you apart. The big finale gets dragged a little bit, but the payoff is so worth it.
If you’re into romance stories, and believe in the power of love and how much it can change a person, I’d recommend you this book.
If you’re into romance stories, and believe in the power of love and how much it can change a person, I’d recommend you this book.
Displaying 1 - 25 of 25 reviews