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Love from the Pink Palace: Memories of Love, Loss and Cabaret through the AIDS Crisis
*SHORTLISTED FOR THE RSL CHRISTOPHER BLAND PRIZE 2023*
*LONGLISTED FOR THE POLARI FIRST BOOK PRIZE 2023*
'I read the book in one go. I laughed and cried like a baby, and was transported back to a time of innocence, clouded by the enormity of the harsh reality . . . Just amazing' CATHERINE ZETA JONES
'As it happens, I was also a Jill in the eighties - but not half as good a Jill as real Jill' DAWN FRENCH
'Jill met the crisis head on . . . She held the hands of so many men. She lost them, and remembered them, and somehow kept going' RUSSELL T DAVIES
A heartbreaking, life-affirming memoir of love, loss and cabaret through the AIDS crisis, from IT'S A SIN's Jill Nalder
When Jill Nalder arrived at drama school in London in the early 1980s, she was ready for her life to begin. With her band of best friends - of which many were young, talented gay men with big dreams of their own - she grabbed London by the partying with drag queens at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, hosting cabarets at her glamorous flat, flitting across town to any jobs she could get.
But soon rumours were spreading from America about a frightening illness being dubbed the 'gay flu', and Jill and her friends now found their formerly carefree existence under threat.
In this moving memoir, IT'S A SIN's Jill Nalder tells the true story of her and her friends' lives during the AIDS crisis -- juggling a busy West End career while campaigning for AIDS awareness and research, educating herself and caring for the sick. Most of all, she shines a light on those who were stigmatised and shamed, and remembers those brave and beautiful boys who were lost too soon.
'Thank God for people like [Jill] . . . I cannot recommend this book highly enough' MICHAEL BALL
'An engaging, moving account' TIMES SATURDAY REVIEW
'Simultaneously devastating and uplifting' GRAZIA
'Engrossing, heart-breaking and inspiring' MATT CAIN
*LONGLISTED FOR THE POLARI FIRST BOOK PRIZE 2023*
'I read the book in one go. I laughed and cried like a baby, and was transported back to a time of innocence, clouded by the enormity of the harsh reality . . . Just amazing' CATHERINE ZETA JONES
'As it happens, I was also a Jill in the eighties - but not half as good a Jill as real Jill' DAWN FRENCH
'Jill met the crisis head on . . . She held the hands of so many men. She lost them, and remembered them, and somehow kept going' RUSSELL T DAVIES
A heartbreaking, life-affirming memoir of love, loss and cabaret through the AIDS crisis, from IT'S A SIN's Jill Nalder
When Jill Nalder arrived at drama school in London in the early 1980s, she was ready for her life to begin. With her band of best friends - of which many were young, talented gay men with big dreams of their own - she grabbed London by the partying with drag queens at the Royal Vauxhall Tavern, hosting cabarets at her glamorous flat, flitting across town to any jobs she could get.
But soon rumours were spreading from America about a frightening illness being dubbed the 'gay flu', and Jill and her friends now found their formerly carefree existence under threat.
In this moving memoir, IT'S A SIN's Jill Nalder tells the true story of her and her friends' lives during the AIDS crisis -- juggling a busy West End career while campaigning for AIDS awareness and research, educating herself and caring for the sick. Most of all, she shines a light on those who were stigmatised and shamed, and remembers those brave and beautiful boys who were lost too soon.
'Thank God for people like [Jill] . . . I cannot recommend this book highly enough' MICHAEL BALL
'An engaging, moving account' TIMES SATURDAY REVIEW
'Simultaneously devastating and uplifting' GRAZIA
'Engrossing, heart-breaking and inspiring' MATT CAIN
320 pages, Paperback
First published July 7, 2022
43 people are currently reading
1083 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews
June 15, 2023
Brilliant!
If you were moved by the TV show 'It’s a sin' then be prepared for more tears.
If you were moved by the TV show 'It’s a sin' then be prepared for more tears.
March 2, 2023
A beautiful memoir about an extraordinary woman who loved during a time of great fear and grief as the men she called her friends and family were struck down by a terrifying illness that had no cure. Author Jill Nalder is the inspiration behind the character of Jill in It's A Sin (a brilliant show if you haven't seen it), and that's how I found out about this book and knew I needed to read it.
This story is a mix of things - creativity, and artistic dreams as well as friendship and family (both born and found), strength, grief, and most of all love. The love that shines through on every page of this book as Jill describes her life growing up in London, working in the theatre and West End, with a bunch of beautiful boys who made her laugh and whom she cared about deeply, is immense.
I actually liked how Jill made some references to the Covid-19 pandemic in her book, as really it's one of the closest things we have now in modern memory to compare to the terrifying era that was the AIDS epidemic including the fear and vilifying of a particular group of people. From healthcare to people in the street, it was too long a time before suffering gay men were treated with the respect that they and any human being deserves as their bodies were slowly ravaged by an illness that takes no prisoners. Jill also makes sure to point out in her book as well how AIDs diagnoses also affected many women and how testing procedure failed women and children who may have contracted the disease whether it be through sexual relations, blood transfusions, or in utero.
This book will make you cry and as Jill took the time to educate the reader about the wonderful people who were Colin, Derek, Juan and Dursley - and the many, many others who lost their lives, I knew if I allowed it, I would just become a bawling mess. This book is an absolute eye opener about a time that people are still affected and traumatised by, and while we know now that a HIV diagnosis isn't the death sentence it once was, we still have a long way to go before we overcome the stigma and fear that still rings around such a diagnosis.
On a lighter note, I think anyone who likes theatre or anything West End/Broadway would really enjoy this as that is the industry Jill and her friends all work in and there's mentions of loads of different shows as well as some names that people may recognise. Juan and Jill performed in the earlier versions of Les Mis in Paris and London, and Cameron Mackintosh himself called Dursley when he was in hospital, and Dame Judi Dench spoke at his service!
I highly recommend this book - it's beautifully written, brings people who should be alive and performing today back to life in a lovely way, and educates the reader brilliantly about a scary time in the world.
This story is a mix of things - creativity, and artistic dreams as well as friendship and family (both born and found), strength, grief, and most of all love. The love that shines through on every page of this book as Jill describes her life growing up in London, working in the theatre and West End, with a bunch of beautiful boys who made her laugh and whom she cared about deeply, is immense.
I actually liked how Jill made some references to the Covid-19 pandemic in her book, as really it's one of the closest things we have now in modern memory to compare to the terrifying era that was the AIDS epidemic including the fear and vilifying of a particular group of people. From healthcare to people in the street, it was too long a time before suffering gay men were treated with the respect that they and any human being deserves as their bodies were slowly ravaged by an illness that takes no prisoners. Jill also makes sure to point out in her book as well how AIDs diagnoses also affected many women and how testing procedure failed women and children who may have contracted the disease whether it be through sexual relations, blood transfusions, or in utero.
This book will make you cry and as Jill took the time to educate the reader about the wonderful people who were Colin, Derek, Juan and Dursley - and the many, many others who lost their lives, I knew if I allowed it, I would just become a bawling mess. This book is an absolute eye opener about a time that people are still affected and traumatised by, and while we know now that a HIV diagnosis isn't the death sentence it once was, we still have a long way to go before we overcome the stigma and fear that still rings around such a diagnosis.
On a lighter note, I think anyone who likes theatre or anything West End/Broadway would really enjoy this as that is the industry Jill and her friends all work in and there's mentions of loads of different shows as well as some names that people may recognise. Juan and Jill performed in the earlier versions of Les Mis in Paris and London, and Cameron Mackintosh himself called Dursley when he was in hospital, and Dame Judi Dench spoke at his service!
I highly recommend this book - it's beautifully written, brings people who should be alive and performing today back to life in a lovely way, and educates the reader brilliantly about a scary time in the world.
July 22, 2025
If you've not watched It's A Sin yet, do so IMMEDIATELY - and bring a box of tissues.
Then come back and read this.
This moving memoir should be required reading. Jill Nadler is the real-life inspiration for the character of the same name in It's A Sin, who was carer and confidante for countless gay male friends with AIDS in the eighties and nineties.
Gay millennials like me occupied a liminal space growing up between the end of the crisis and being peripherally aware of the damage it wreaked upon those only ten or fifteen years older, but still pre-Prep and other countless medical advancements. Delving more into that fear and uncertainty was both enlightening and unnerving.
While full of outrage and despair, there's also a pervading sense of love and hope through this book, primarily centred around London's West End, as Jill grows, laughs and learns with her friends Juan, Jae, Dursley, Derek and others. HIV and AIDS still carry stigma today, and this deeply human memoir dispels that stigma, highlighting the humanity of those unfortunate enough to have passed from the disease.
Read, as this deserves to be more widely known. Jill Nadler, you are an angel among humans, and an ally in every sense of the word.
Then come back and read this.
This moving memoir should be required reading. Jill Nadler is the real-life inspiration for the character of the same name in It's A Sin, who was carer and confidante for countless gay male friends with AIDS in the eighties and nineties.
Gay millennials like me occupied a liminal space growing up between the end of the crisis and being peripherally aware of the damage it wreaked upon those only ten or fifteen years older, but still pre-Prep and other countless medical advancements. Delving more into that fear and uncertainty was both enlightening and unnerving.
While full of outrage and despair, there's also a pervading sense of love and hope through this book, primarily centred around London's West End, as Jill grows, laughs and learns with her friends Juan, Jae, Dursley, Derek and others. HIV and AIDS still carry stigma today, and this deeply human memoir dispels that stigma, highlighting the humanity of those unfortunate enough to have passed from the disease.
Read, as this deserves to be more widely known. Jill Nadler, you are an angel among humans, and an ally in every sense of the word.
November 9, 2023
After leaving drama school Jill Nalder worked in numerous venues to gain an Equity Card & forge a career on the London theatre scene. Here she tells the true story of the highs & lows of life in 1980's London as the AIDS crisis emerged.
It's an emotional read & Jill's experiences inspired Russell T Davies to create the superb TV series It's A Sin. A highly recommeneded read full of injustice, ignorance & tradgedy....but above all love.
It's an emotional read & Jill's experiences inspired Russell T Davies to create the superb TV series It's A Sin. A highly recommeneded read full of injustice, ignorance & tradgedy....but above all love.
January 4, 2023
Too good. Incredible. Fantastic. Cried all the way through but also fell in love with Jill and all her lovely friends. Happy sad.
August 15, 2022
Heartbreaking and heartwarming. Just a really excellent book that was full of life while also talking about the loss of life in a very personal way.
My favourite part was that Nalder named any of the journalists who wrote unkind articles during the HIV/AIDS crisis.
My favourite part was that Nalder named any of the journalists who wrote unkind articles during the HIV/AIDS crisis.
August 8, 2022
What an amazing woman Jill Nalder is. Inspired by the C4 series ‘It’s a Sin’ and hearing Jill and Russell T Davies talk at a Q&A, I knew I had to read Jill’s book. Read it and hear Jill talk.
March 27, 2024
I will never be the same after this
February 8, 2024
5 Stars!
I AM UGLY CRYING.
At the start of the year, I asked 12 friends to recommend me 12 books, and my sister in law recommended this for me. To prepare myself I watched It's A Sin two weeks ago, and I cannot tell you how much I loved the series but I felt so so so sad whilst watching it.
I knew going in that this would make me cry and I was a mess at seeing this time period for the Aids Crisis and I cannot even begin to imagine what it was like. It just felt so raw and you really got a sense for just how scary it was at the time to see loved ones go through something like this. I honestly felt so attached to Jill and she comes across as such a wonderful person and seeing how much love her and her friends radiated and the bravery from all of them. I genuinely feel like this is a book that will stay with me for the longest time, it was honestly so heartbreaking, filled with so much love.
I AM UGLY CRYING.
At the start of the year, I asked 12 friends to recommend me 12 books, and my sister in law recommended this for me. To prepare myself I watched It's A Sin two weeks ago, and I cannot tell you how much I loved the series but I felt so so so sad whilst watching it.
I knew going in that this would make me cry and I was a mess at seeing this time period for the Aids Crisis and I cannot even begin to imagine what it was like. It just felt so raw and you really got a sense for just how scary it was at the time to see loved ones go through something like this. I honestly felt so attached to Jill and she comes across as such a wonderful person and seeing how much love her and her friends radiated and the bravery from all of them. I genuinely feel like this is a book that will stay with me for the longest time, it was honestly so heartbreaking, filled with so much love.
June 20, 2023
A fascinating look at the inspiration behind the TV series 'It's a Sin'. Jill is and was a true inspirational hero and support for a lot of gay men who suffered through the very worst of the AIDs pandemic. I didn't quite feel the full emotional impact I thought I might, which is the only reason that it's not 5*
July 24, 2023
so beautiful and provides the most necessary insight into our queer history in the uk.
loved learning all about derek juan and dursley and felt my heart break alongside them
loved learning all about derek juan and dursley and felt my heart break alongside them
February 28, 2025
I don’t have the right words to do this book justice but I have never cried so much as I did throughout this book. Yet it was still so full of joy and love. It was written beautifully and I couldn’t put it down and it will stay with me for a while.
March 7, 2024
Amazing but wouldn’t recommend reading in public (desperately trying not to bawl my eyes out on the train)
January 2, 2023
It fits that the first word in the title of this book is Love. This book exudes love, it pours from the page. Yes, there is tradegy, confusion, prejudice and fear found in this book, but it is love that you are left with. I found myself hugging this book when I went to put it down, just to keep all the friends, family, fun and love, safe within it 💗 A beautiful book
February 16, 2023
A traumatising subject that I’m normally deeply moved and passionate about. However, this book was disappointing. It read just as a list of famous people that the author knew and with too many people included it was difficult to attach to any of them. Far far too many references to theatres and plays, which lost me as someone who is not familiar with that world. Such a shame as such a devastating time and subject
June 4, 2023
I think I went into this with the wrong expectations, and also I think this is for people who are very into the theatre musical scene. I had no idea who anyone was, and so I didn’t feel much connection to the author or the stories she was telling.
Considering this was good for someone who had no context (me), I think that it would be a hit for anyone who is familiar with the author and her scene, and I would recommend the Audible read by Jill with her lovely Welsh accent.
Considering this was good for someone who had no context (me), I think that it would be a hit for anyone who is familiar with the author and her scene, and I would recommend the Audible read by Jill with her lovely Welsh accent.
July 31, 2022
A really well told memoir of the AIDS crisis and its effect on the West End community.
August 11, 2022
So so beautiful. A million stars out of 5.
October 23, 2022
hello new reading slump. I will be crying over these boys for the rest of the year.
July 6, 2024
Such a heart-wrenching memoir about Nalder's experience with supporting her best friends through the AIDS crisis in the 1980s and early 90s.
She talks about how she met Dursley, Juan and Derek, three gay men with dreams and ambitions who were sadly diagnosed with AIDs. Nalder talks of how they were all trying to put up a heroic fight against it and had to cope with the stigma and prejudice of the time. Nalder pays tribute to her best friends in such a beautiful way. I would make sure you had tissues at the ready whilst reading this book :(
This memoir was the inspiration behind the Channel 4 TV series It's a Sin, written by Russell T Davis. It was an amazing depiction of life in 80s London about a group of gay men who are devastatingly affected by AIDs.
She talks about how she met Dursley, Juan and Derek, three gay men with dreams and ambitions who were sadly diagnosed with AIDs. Nalder talks of how they were all trying to put up a heroic fight against it and had to cope with the stigma and prejudice of the time. Nalder pays tribute to her best friends in such a beautiful way. I would make sure you had tissues at the ready whilst reading this book :(
This memoir was the inspiration behind the Channel 4 TV series It's a Sin, written by Russell T Davis. It was an amazing depiction of life in 80s London about a group of gay men who are devastatingly affected by AIDs.
August 18, 2024
I laughed, I cried and I spent time reflecting on the pain that one generation went through, both physically and mentally - But mostly, I was just in awe of Jill. I can only hope to be as good a friend and ally to those around me as Jill was.
For fans of ‘Its a Sin’ I CANNOT recommend this enough - It’s a must read.
For those who weren’t a fan or haven’t watched ‘Its a Sin’ I also CANNOT recommend this enough ❤️
For fans of ‘Its a Sin’ I CANNOT recommend this enough - It’s a must read.
For those who weren’t a fan or haven’t watched ‘Its a Sin’ I also CANNOT recommend this enough ❤️
October 26, 2024
This made me desperate to rewatch It's A Sin. Lots of insight and information into the start of the AIDS crisis from a first-hand viewpoint. Very sad and really brought home to me the heartbreaking and unnecessary loss of so many people.
Working with quite a few HIV+ patients I still see too much discrimination against them to this day. It's good to read that there were so many people fighting this stigma from the beginning.
A lot of name-dropping but I guess that's to be expected in a memoir. I'm also really not a fan of musical theatre and there is A LOT about it in this book. Not a criticism of Jill Nalder at all but just something to be aware of. She seems like an amazing, vivacious woman with a great sense of humour
Working with quite a few HIV+ patients I still see too much discrimination against them to this day. It's good to read that there were so many people fighting this stigma from the beginning.
A lot of name-dropping but I guess that's to be expected in a memoir. I'm also really not a fan of musical theatre and there is A LOT about it in this book. Not a criticism of Jill Nalder at all but just something to be aware of. She seems like an amazing, vivacious woman with a great sense of humour
August 24, 2025
I’m never great at capturing why I love a book but this was incredibly heartbreaking yet beautiful and filled with so much love. It feels necessary to sing its praises. Jill is a phenomenal voice to capture this time and commemorate our remarkable elders. We mourn the generation we lost but this serves as a great reminder of the joy and brilliance that saturates the queer community, despite the struggle.
August 5, 2024
me after watching it’s a sin in 2021: that was the best thing i’ve ever watched but i can never watch it again
me upon discovering that the real life jill wrote an account of her actual experiences of the aids crisis: well!! here we go again!!
me upon discovering that the real life jill wrote an account of her actual experiences of the aids crisis: well!! here we go again!!
January 10, 2023
A heartbreaking yet funny read. Read at risk of profuse sobbing.
April 25, 2023
Did not anticipate the joy that radiates from Jill's story. I completely fell in love with her and her friends. Absolutely heartbreaking and a must-read. (Read as an audiobook)
August 12, 2024
I cried my eyes out. This is beautiful written.
July 2, 2024
A beautiful tribute to the victims of the HIV/AIDS pandemic❤️
February 3, 2023
Loved every page. Made me laugh & cry. What an inspiring woman and what a crazy time of history that feels so distant to those who didn’t love through it… la
January 23, 2025
This was just phenomenal. A must read for anyone in the LGBT community and beyond. Speaks to humanity, love, and connection to those all around us. Floored by Jill’s life and the story she has to tell. So so thankful she chose to share it ❤️
Displaying 1 - 30 of 117 reviews