The Blend: How to Successfully Manage a Career and a Family

by Tobi Asare

Whether you are a new mother, just thinking about it or already trying to combine a career and children, working motherhood can sometimes seem like an impossible balancing act. That's why Tobi Asare, founder of My Bump Pay, doesn't talk about juggling or balancing, but instead about The Blend.

In this book, Tobi shares her hard-won wisdom and advice on how to make working work for you, covering everything from the financial to the emotional aspects of working motherhood, and from preparing for maternity leave to returning with confidence. This is not just about making it work or staying sane, this is about how to thrive while successfully blending work and family life. This book will help you set yourself up for success before the baby comes along, during the pregnancy and beyond.

With chapters focusing on navigating work while pregnant, freelancers, childcare, future babies and mum guilt, each section also has advice and career tips from successful women who are already making the best of the blend.

Genres: Nonfiction

240 pages, Hardcover

Published October 10, 2023

Reviews

[Chloe Lovell-Shannon · Rating 4 out of 5]

If you are a expecting your first child or already a mother this is a must read. In a time where I questioned who I could or would be if I wasn't actively working in my career and if I could do both the way I wanted and needed, Tobi's words gave me comfort in that I was exactly where I needed to be - with my little one. Advocating for redefining success on your own terms, Tobi helped me mentally reframe my maternity leave and embrace the messiness of motherhood. Reading this gave me confidence it was okay not to be working in my career, that my new role was just as important and I would draw on skills from either role to excel at both. My career wasn't dead, I was just building another role along side it.

[Solveiga Stonkute · Rating 3 out of 5]

This could have been an email.

Or whatever is the equivalent for books. Generally very good ideas and good insights but felt like the same ones repeated multiple times with way too many words than necessary.

[Emma · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a busy working mum who is constantly juggling the work/life balance, I saw this book about making ‘The Blend’ (as opposed to the juggle) and knew I wanted to read it. Sadly, it wasn’t quite the book I was expecting.

Although there are some good points and tangible advice, it was much more geared up towards pregnancy, maternity and the immediate return to work after mat-leave. The two chapters at the end which focused on life beyond the return to work and the stories from aspirational working mums who are at the top of the game were the best and most relevant to me. I realise this isn’t the author’s fault, but I do feel the title and blurb are misleading as to the content.

The author consistently points out the realities of the gender pay gap and lack of women in leadership roles and highlights the research behind why we need more equality in the workplace. I felt she could have gone further to champion the injustices and push for change rather than accepting them.

My other niggles throughout was that this book is written from a place of privilege. There are assumptions made throughout that simply would not be feasible for many working families; for example the advice to outsource time consuming tasks such as cleaning or gardening. That’s unlikely to be a financial possibility for many.

[Laura · Rating 3 out of 5]

I heard Tobi Asare on the Happy Mum Happy Baby podcast and immediately ordered this book. From the earliest pages of the introduction, I love that Asare acknowledges that there is no balance, just a blend, where sometimes work and sometimes parenthood takes center stage. This whole mindset is so refreshing after trying to have it all and feeling like a failure when nothing ever feels balanced: something is always going to take up more bandwidth than other things.

I think the message behind this book is important, but the actual content within the book was a little surface level and repetitive. It could’ve been significantly shorter (as one reviewer put it: the equivalent to “this meeting could’ve been an email”). Also, as someone living and employed within the US, there was quite a bit that wasn’t relevant to me (but interesting). But, it was enjoyable to read at a time where I was interviewing (successfully!) for a promotion within a month of going on parental leave — so lots of relevant info about progressing your career and motherhood!

[Emma Marns · Rating 4 out of 5]

I am really glad books like this exist and that a successful woman of colour has been given a platform to share her experiences and advice, which I'm sure have been, are and will continue to be helpful to working parents everywhere. I am wondering if I read it too late in the game though - most of the first half is about (in the context of how it relates to work of course) trying to conceive, pregnancy, maternity leave etc and I read this with a daughter of 20 months old. Also it is very corporate-centred, city-centred, and I couldn't relate to whole chapters devoted to training and developing a 'side hustle' whilst on maternity leave, when my own ML was spent trying not to die from post-natal depression.
Has its place, for sure, and very well-written.

[Angharad Elin · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is genuinely brilliant, and I would really recommend it.  It is very helpful in explaining how maternity and paternity pay works,  giving guidance on when to let your Team know, how long to be away from work on Maternity Leave, when to look at nurseries, and what questions to ask when you view them (super helpful!) and many, many other things.

Going to be buying this book for all of my pregnant friends and colleagues going forward, as there is so much I didn't know and felt overwhelmed about. I should definitely have read this book before now!  It's also a good resource for managers, particularly the last but one chapter about allies.

Brilliant.

[Vida · Rating 5 out of 5]

This book is what every working woman needs! It is highly practical, inspiring and very helpful when trying to navigate working life with children. Tobi addresses everything you could think of! A must read!