Seeing what some of my Goodreads friends rated this I am clearly in the minority here, but this did not do it for me at all. In fact, I'm probably among this book's top haters.
There's value in writing books about people with disabilities, and I'm of the belief that you can do it as an author even if you don't possess that disability yourself. However, the risk of creating questionable and bad representation is much higher. And even though this author seems to have done her research and has people in her life with dyslexia that she no doubt spoke to in creating her dyslexic character, Sam, the portrayal of dyslexia here just feels intensely dramatic.
Every conflict in Sam's life comes down to her being severely dyslexic: she suspects she was passed over for a promotion as a chef because of her disability, she's often embarrassed in front of peripheral characters in this book who want her to read on the spot, and her past intimate relationships have fallen apart because of her dyslexia, with one partner even telling her he wouldn't want to "pass on her disabled genes" to any future offspring they might have. Reader, when I tell you my jaw dropped. I have a really hard time believing anyone would even think this in the year of our lord, 2023, but if you *did* think it, why would you SAY it?! Other peripheral characters in this book are also cruel to Sam and it just feels very unrealistic? Like they shame and embarrass her and assume she's slow or that she can't read - I just have a hard time believing people would treat someone like this in the real world unless you're a supreme asshole and you don't have a verbal filter.
Sam's relationship with her dyslexia also feels very juvenile and immature. Her insecurity surrounding her dyslexia and her memory of the times she was embarrassed in high school or by past boyfriends still feels very fresh and it's like... girlie pop you need some therapy to process this. I don't know it just feels like if this were a real 28-year-old, they would have several coping mechanisms and they would likely have some level of peace with their insecurities? I might be biased because as a 27-year-old myself, I look back and feel sorry for how visceral my insecurities were as a teenager, and I think as you grow into your 20s, these feelings just become duller? Obviously people in their late 20s still have insecurities, but my personal experience and what I've heard and seen from my friends that are also in this age range support that these insecurities are not nearly as crippling as they were when we were teens. I don't know if I'm explaining this in any type of way that makes sense, but hopefully I got my idea across.
I think this over-dramatization of dyslexia leads Sam to lean into a victim mentality, and she doesn't seem to have made any strides towards working on this (or even realizing it) by the end of the book. I don't think the author put enough explanation into how Sam copes with her dyslexia. There are *so many* parts of your day that require reading, and it can be critical in emergency settings. Sam doesn't seem to have any coping techniques before the MMC and love interest, Ben, comes along, and this also feels like a shitty message to send. While Ben's reading to her is a way for them to build their bond as a couple and to spend time together, it genuinely comes off like this 28-year-old woman had never heard of audiobooks before Ben came along?
In case it wasn't clear already, Sam is defined by her dyslexia. She feels very one-note in this way - her past is colored by embarrassing experiences involving her dyslexia, she's nervous to tell Ben about her dyslexia because she thinks he won't be interested in her because of it? Like girlie no one thinks like this unless they're a psychopath, please get a grip. Sam isn't the only character that's one-note though: Ben is entirely defined by his absent father, and Emily is the bumbling and anxious librarian friend who gets absolutely nothing in terms of a satisfying character arc except (possibly) a job in another country? The book ends before this is ever concluded, though. Very disappointing because even if I don't like a book I generally care about at least one of the characters and I didn't give a single fuck about anyone in this story.
Another criticism I had of this book was the writing, particularly Sam's inner monologue and the dialogue in this book, which is CRINGY. Sam is 28 years old, but she genuinely speaks (both in her head and to others) like she's 14, and not like a modern 14-year-old but more like how a 40-year-old thinks a 14-year-old would speak in the early 2000s. Some words/phrases here that had me cringing and raising my eyebrows:
- "Parentals" - said unironically several times in reference to Sam's parents
- Sam says "OMG!" and in her head several times when anything shocking happens and it just feels very juvenile
- "Whatever" is said multiple times in Sam's head whenever something annoys her.
- "It was impossible not to bob my head to her groove." (this is 100% me being a hater, but I couldn't help my eye-roll at this line).
- Sam and Tyler call each other "bro" and "sis" in very serious settings. Like they'll be talking about something, and Tyler will be like "of course I'll be there for you, you're my sis." which just... I'm sorry, feels so unserious? Like it sucked all the emotional weight out of the scene for me because it didn't feel like how siblings would really speak to each other in a heavy emotional moment.
Also, I listened to parts of this on 1.5x speed and the audiobook narrator got on my nerves. She has a very smoky voice and her style of reading makes everything sound sensual which was just very bizarre.
This was a big old wop, which was sad because the premise seemed interesting. Unfortunately I don't think I'll leap to read more of this author's work - this was that bad.