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"...but that's not me.": Changing the Story of Interpersonal Abuse
Domestic abuse can happen to anyone.
But because no one likes to think of themselves as a victim, too often we miss the red flags that signal patterns of abuse in our relationships. "...but that's not me" helps us identify the traps, both systemic and personal, that keep us locked in patterns of interpersonal abuse, so we can escape the traps we’re in, avoid falling into new ones, and serve as effective allies to those in need.
Following one journey into, through, and beyond domestic abuse--a single storyline that weaves the voices of multiple women into one--the reader will learn how to differentiate between types of abuse, recognize abusive patterns, find the courage to leave, handle the aftermath, prevent unhealthy patterns from reoccurring, and heal from the compounded trauma of abuse and its ongoing fallout.
Readers of this book will
How to identify abuse
An in-depth examination of all types of abuse
How to break the cycle of abuse
How to be a good ally to yourself and others
Anyone can experience abuse, but no one should have to go it alone. Let the collective wisdom of all the abuse survivors who collaborated to bring you this empowering guidebook surround and support you on your journey to wholeness.
But because no one likes to think of themselves as a victim, too often we miss the red flags that signal patterns of abuse in our relationships. "...but that's not me" helps us identify the traps, both systemic and personal, that keep us locked in patterns of interpersonal abuse, so we can escape the traps we’re in, avoid falling into new ones, and serve as effective allies to those in need.
Following one journey into, through, and beyond domestic abuse--a single storyline that weaves the voices of multiple women into one--the reader will learn how to differentiate between types of abuse, recognize abusive patterns, find the courage to leave, handle the aftermath, prevent unhealthy patterns from reoccurring, and heal from the compounded trauma of abuse and its ongoing fallout.
Readers of this book will
How to identify abuse
An in-depth examination of all types of abuse
How to break the cycle of abuse
How to be a good ally to yourself and others
Anyone can experience abuse, but no one should have to go it alone. Let the collective wisdom of all the abuse survivors who collaborated to bring you this empowering guidebook surround and support you on your journey to wholeness.
456 pages, Kindle Edition
Published October 4, 2022
8 people are currently reading
16 people want to read
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Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews
October 6, 2022
Powerful life-experienced stories that serve as examples to give clear understanding for the vocabulary to define what each type of abuse is that is broken down in simple terms. A must read for everyone, men and women. This book gives the knowledge to recognize behaviors and patterns in order to break the cycle in every aspect of life from the workplace to home.
February 8, 2025
"…but that’s not me.": Changing the Story of Interpersonal Abuse is a compelling and insightful self-help book that sheds light on the complexities of abusive relationships. It challenges conventional perceptions of abuse, revealing that it extends far beyond physical violence. Through the powerful testimonies of domestic abuse survivors and authors Erika Shalene Hull and Dr. Cheryl LeJewell Jackson, the book underscores a universal truth, at the heart of every abusive dynamic lies an imbalance of power. By sharing their personal experiences, Erika and Cheryl have created a practical guide to recognizing, addressing, and, when necessary, escaping abusive relationships.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its seamless integration of raw and deeply personal stories with psychological insights and precise definitions of various forms of abuse. Erika and Cheryl’s narratives captivate, weaving a tapestry of pain, resilience, and ultimate empowerment. Erika’s harrowing account of financial exploitation, her husband siphoning money to fuel his addictions while she was pregnant with their third child, is particularly haunting. The contrast between the relationship dynamics she observed growing up and those she later endured as an adult highlights a chilling reality: abuse is often normalized before it is recognized.
Cheryl’s experience, shaped by different social circumstances, mirrors Erika’s. Both women initially rationalized and excused the mistreatment they suffered. This universal tendency to downplay or justify abuse is one of the book’s most thought-provoking themes. Many readers will likely see echoes of their own experiences or those of loved ones, reinforcing the importance of recognizing and addressing abusive patterns before they escalate.
This book serves as a crucial tool for identifying the often-overlooked red flags of psychological, financial, and emotional abuse. While the focus remains on domestic violence within romantic relationships, the authors emphasize that abuse knows no gender and can manifest in various interpersonal dynamics. The message is particularly urgent for women, who are often conditioned to overlook or rationalize coercive control in non-physical forms.
I highly recommend …but that’s not me. to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the psychology behind both abusers and survivors. It is an essential read for those looking to safeguard themselves from toxic relationships, as well as for professionals and individuals passionate about psychology and mental health. Be prepared to feel educated, enraged, heartbroken, and ultimately inspired.
One of the book’s greatest strengths is its seamless integration of raw and deeply personal stories with psychological insights and precise definitions of various forms of abuse. Erika and Cheryl’s narratives captivate, weaving a tapestry of pain, resilience, and ultimate empowerment. Erika’s harrowing account of financial exploitation, her husband siphoning money to fuel his addictions while she was pregnant with their third child, is particularly haunting. The contrast between the relationship dynamics she observed growing up and those she later endured as an adult highlights a chilling reality: abuse is often normalized before it is recognized.
Cheryl’s experience, shaped by different social circumstances, mirrors Erika’s. Both women initially rationalized and excused the mistreatment they suffered. This universal tendency to downplay or justify abuse is one of the book’s most thought-provoking themes. Many readers will likely see echoes of their own experiences or those of loved ones, reinforcing the importance of recognizing and addressing abusive patterns before they escalate.
This book serves as a crucial tool for identifying the often-overlooked red flags of psychological, financial, and emotional abuse. While the focus remains on domestic violence within romantic relationships, the authors emphasize that abuse knows no gender and can manifest in various interpersonal dynamics. The message is particularly urgent for women, who are often conditioned to overlook or rationalize coercive control in non-physical forms.
I highly recommend …but that’s not me. to anyone seeking a deeper understanding of the psychology behind both abusers and survivors. It is an essential read for those looking to safeguard themselves from toxic relationships, as well as for professionals and individuals passionate about psychology and mental health. Be prepared to feel educated, enraged, heartbroken, and ultimately inspired.
Displaying 1 - 2 of 2 reviews