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Een gewone jongen
Sebastian James Murphy is twintig jaar, zes maanden en twee dagen oud. Hij houdt van zwemmen, gebakken eieren en Billy Ocean. Sebastian heeft autisme en is net als elke jongen vervuld van dromen en verlangens. Veronica wil dat haar zoon Sebastian gelukkig is, en dat de wereld hem accepteert zoals hij is. Ze overweegt om een professional in te huren om hem te geven waar hij zo wanhopig naar verlangt.
Violetta is een escortdame die de nacht doorkomt door te denken aan het geld dat ze met haar werk verdient. Geld voor haar opleiding verpleegkunde. Voor het verpleeghuis waar haar vader ligt. Voor een uitweg. Maar soms is geld alleen niet reden genoeg…
Wanneer deze drie levens elkaar raken, verandert alles.
Violetta is een escortdame die de nacht doorkomt door te denken aan het geld dat ze met haar werk verdient. Geld voor haar opleiding verpleegkunde. Voor het verpleeghuis waar haar vader ligt. Voor een uitweg. Maar soms is geld alleen niet reden genoeg…
Wanneer deze drie levens elkaar raken, verandert alles.
288 pages, Paperback
First published April 10, 2021
46 people are currently reading
842 people want to read
About the author
Louise Beech
20 books353 followersAlso publishes under Louise Swanson.
Louise Beech is the author of eleven novels and a memoir, Eighteen Seconds (2023). Her debut, How to be Brave, was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; The Lion Tamer Who Lost shortlisted for the Romantic Novel Awards 2019 and longlisted for the Polari Prize the same year; Call Me Star Girl was Best magazine’s Book of the Year; This Is How We Are Human was a Clare Mackintosh Book Club pick; and the audiobook of her memoir, Daffodils, shortlisted for the Audies23. Her thrillers, End of Story and Lights Out, are written as Louise Swanson; the former was chosen by Sophie Hannah as a Book of the Year in the Daily Mail, and the latter was reviewed by The Times. Her debut play, How to be Brave, toured Yorkshire venues in 2024. Wonderful will be published 1st June 2026.
Louise also writes as Louise Swanson.
Louise Beech is the author of eleven novels and a memoir, Eighteen Seconds (2023). Her debut, How to be Brave, was a Guardian Readers’ Pick; The Lion Tamer Who Lost shortlisted for the Romantic Novel Awards 2019 and longlisted for the Polari Prize the same year; Call Me Star Girl was Best magazine’s Book of the Year; This Is How We Are Human was a Clare Mackintosh Book Club pick; and the audiobook of her memoir, Daffodils, shortlisted for the Audies23. Her thrillers, End of Story and Lights Out, are written as Louise Swanson; the former was chosen by Sophie Hannah as a Book of the Year in the Daily Mail, and the latter was reviewed by The Times. Her debut play, How to be Brave, toured Yorkshire venues in 2024. Wonderful will be published 1st June 2026.
Louise also writes as Louise Swanson.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 239 reviews
July 29, 2023
After reading ‘End of Story’ by the author (under the name Louise Swanson), I looked up other books of hers. I thought of next reading either this one or ‘The Lion Tamer Who Lost’, both of which have very good ratings & reviews. I was a little hesitant about this one initially as the subject matter seemed quite adult and more explicit than what I have been used to. I am happy I chose it as the treatment is very mature and this is a lovely story which I recommend to all without hesitation.
Veronica Murphy visits a sexual health clinic with her son Sebastian who is 20 years old. Sebastian is autistic, and has developed a strong urge for sex. His efforts towards that have invited ridicule and in many cases avoidance by others. Mel, the doctor, who speaks to them has no easy solution to offer either. The nurse who is present, Isabel, is sympathetic and speaks with understanding to Veronica. Isabel works part-time as an escort under the name Violeta, as she needs to fund the treatment of her dad. Veronica comes across this on a website and meets her to ask if she will help Sebastian get what he wants. She is willing to pay a good sum if she agrees to be with him for 6 months. Violeta feels this to be inappropriate, especially since Sebastian is not to know of this arrangement, and refuses. But with some very abusive experiences with a couple of men, she rethinks her position and agrees. Sebastian is overjoyed and also asks Isabel to make him eggs (as his mother used to do that for him) whenever they meet, which is thrice a week at a fixed time.
The story from this point on is about the complex relationships which develops between Sebastian, Isabel & Veronica. While initially it is about a mother’s love for her son and giving him what he wants, there is something which each of them offers the others and gets something in return. The characters of all three people are absolutely delightful – Sebastian’s charm, Isabel’s strength & grace, and Veronica’s love & character. As a result of being together, all of them change in ways neither they or you as a reader would anticipate. You find yourself rooting for the best possible outcome for all of them. Yet, you are left wondering at the end if what happened is good for them, and therein lies the charm of the story & the characters. While, the ending is not what I expected (with a touch of melancholy), it was still beautiful in its own way.
A lovely well-written story which I strongly recommend. I listened to the audiobook and the narrators Colleen Prendergast & James Dryden provide excellent distinctive personalities for Isabel and Sebastian.
My rating: 4.5 / 5.
Veronica Murphy visits a sexual health clinic with her son Sebastian who is 20 years old. Sebastian is autistic, and has developed a strong urge for sex. His efforts towards that have invited ridicule and in many cases avoidance by others. Mel, the doctor, who speaks to them has no easy solution to offer either. The nurse who is present, Isabel, is sympathetic and speaks with understanding to Veronica. Isabel works part-time as an escort under the name Violeta, as she needs to fund the treatment of her dad. Veronica comes across this on a website and meets her to ask if she will help Sebastian get what he wants. She is willing to pay a good sum if she agrees to be with him for 6 months. Violeta feels this to be inappropriate, especially since Sebastian is not to know of this arrangement, and refuses. But with some very abusive experiences with a couple of men, she rethinks her position and agrees. Sebastian is overjoyed and also asks Isabel to make him eggs (as his mother used to do that for him) whenever they meet, which is thrice a week at a fixed time.
The story from this point on is about the complex relationships which develops between Sebastian, Isabel & Veronica. While initially it is about a mother’s love for her son and giving him what he wants, there is something which each of them offers the others and gets something in return. The characters of all three people are absolutely delightful – Sebastian’s charm, Isabel’s strength & grace, and Veronica’s love & character. As a result of being together, all of them change in ways neither they or you as a reader would anticipate. You find yourself rooting for the best possible outcome for all of them. Yet, you are left wondering at the end if what happened is good for them, and therein lies the charm of the story & the characters. While, the ending is not what I expected (with a touch of melancholy), it was still beautiful in its own way.
A lovely well-written story which I strongly recommend. I listened to the audiobook and the narrators Colleen Prendergast & James Dryden provide excellent distinctive personalities for Isabel and Sebastian.
My rating: 4.5 / 5.
March 24, 2021
This Is How We Are Human is the most exquisite and moving story I have read in a very long time, so much so Louise Beech has left me a snivelling, snotty mess! I savoured every page of this thought-provoking and exquisitely told story of Sebastian twenty years, six months and two days old. Sebastian wants nothing more than to meet a woman, and have sex, but he’s autistic which makes forming any kind of relationship difficult, because of other’s prejudice and assumptions. Veronica feels the obvious solution to her sons ‘problem’ is to pay Violeta an escort to have sex with him.
Louise Beech hasn’t just created characters, she has created living people who literally leap from the pages. I absolutely loved Sebastian, he’s loving, funny, complex, a beautiful soul, he has no filter which can make things awkward for those around him, and yet his brutal honesty is refreshing. The author looks beyond Sebastian’s autism; we see him as the young man he is, someone with thoughts and feelings, wants and dreams. You feel his every emotion, frustration, anger, happiness and confusion as he forms a relationship of sorts with Violeta. Sebastian wants to be loved, but he also wants his voice to be heard, during his incredible journey of self-discovery he shows his mother and Violeta that sometimes that it’s the people who have the hardest journeys in life that could teach us lesser humans a thing or too. This book is one that will raise many a debate especially around the choices Veronica made regarding her son’s sex life and Violeta’s part in Sebastian’s story, but it’s not all black and white, there're many shades in-between that will make you consider your own thoughts and judgements.
Louise Beech is the “queen” of storytelling, her books don’t fit any genre, they are what I would call ‘unique’ story’s about the most extraordinary characters. It’s obvious the author has put her heart and soul into writing This Is How We Are Human, is a beautifully written story that touches the reader’s heart. It’s not a story that written to evoke pity for people with autism, it’s an incredible story of hope, understanding, love, family, discrimination, judgement and equality. Days after finishing this book I find my thoughts constantly returning to the characters and for me that’s a testament to Louise Beech skills as a writer, that she can forge a strong connection between her characters and her readers. This book has immediately gone to the top of my ‘best reads of 2021’ list. An outstanding read that I will recommend to anybody and everybody.
Louise Beech hasn’t just created characters, she has created living people who literally leap from the pages. I absolutely loved Sebastian, he’s loving, funny, complex, a beautiful soul, he has no filter which can make things awkward for those around him, and yet his brutal honesty is refreshing. The author looks beyond Sebastian’s autism; we see him as the young man he is, someone with thoughts and feelings, wants and dreams. You feel his every emotion, frustration, anger, happiness and confusion as he forms a relationship of sorts with Violeta. Sebastian wants to be loved, but he also wants his voice to be heard, during his incredible journey of self-discovery he shows his mother and Violeta that sometimes that it’s the people who have the hardest journeys in life that could teach us lesser humans a thing or too. This book is one that will raise many a debate especially around the choices Veronica made regarding her son’s sex life and Violeta’s part in Sebastian’s story, but it’s not all black and white, there're many shades in-between that will make you consider your own thoughts and judgements.
Louise Beech is the “queen” of storytelling, her books don’t fit any genre, they are what I would call ‘unique’ story’s about the most extraordinary characters. It’s obvious the author has put her heart and soul into writing This Is How We Are Human, is a beautifully written story that touches the reader’s heart. It’s not a story that written to evoke pity for people with autism, it’s an incredible story of hope, understanding, love, family, discrimination, judgement and equality. Days after finishing this book I find my thoughts constantly returning to the characters and for me that’s a testament to Louise Beech skills as a writer, that she can forge a strong connection between her characters and her readers. This book has immediately gone to the top of my ‘best reads of 2021’ list. An outstanding read that I will recommend to anybody and everybody.
June 1, 2021
Sebastian is twenty years, six months and two days old. He is fit, handsome and desperately wants to lose his virginity. He is also autistic.
His mother, single parent Veronica, will do anything for this wonderful and unique child of hers, to the extent that she contemplates arranging for a professional to attend to his needs.
Isabelle is a student nurse, desperate for cash to pay for her father’s burgeoning health bills. Her only answer is to reluctantly join an escort agency.
These three lives are about to collide, with unforeseen consequences that will redefine and shape their futures.
Ohh this book, this book, this book! Louise Beech has excelled herself here. It’s a heartwarming AND heartbreaking champion of a novel. Very much character led and oh, what characters they are! Sebastian’s perception of life is so honest and his candour so wonderfully refreshing that I defy any reader not to fall a little bit in love with him. He’s as straight talking as they come and you will laugh, smile and occasionally wince at his words. His mother Veronica’s tireless and unflinching devotion and defence of her son made me want to weep. She is a tiger with her cub, not realising that one day she has to let go and perhaps get a life of her own. And then there’s Isabelle, her desperation causes her to sink to depths she never imagined, will she ever find herself?
It’s a simple enough plot, but written so beautifully and so perfectly that it needs nothing more, in fact to do so would detract from the brilliance of these characters. This Is How We Are Human is a book that from the first chapter you will fall into, effortlessly observing and absorbing, and you will eventually leave with a hell of a lot more knowledge and empathy than you started with. I have no direct experience of anyone with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, but I’ve learnt more from this book than I ever could from a documentary.
Captivating, compelling and simply superb. I adored this book and didn’t want it to end. And I just know I’ll be thinking about Sebastian for a long, long time.
Thanks to Orenda Books & Anne Cater for my ARC. All views my own.
His mother, single parent Veronica, will do anything for this wonderful and unique child of hers, to the extent that she contemplates arranging for a professional to attend to his needs.
Isabelle is a student nurse, desperate for cash to pay for her father’s burgeoning health bills. Her only answer is to reluctantly join an escort agency.
These three lives are about to collide, with unforeseen consequences that will redefine and shape their futures.
Ohh this book, this book, this book! Louise Beech has excelled herself here. It’s a heartwarming AND heartbreaking champion of a novel. Very much character led and oh, what characters they are! Sebastian’s perception of life is so honest and his candour so wonderfully refreshing that I defy any reader not to fall a little bit in love with him. He’s as straight talking as they come and you will laugh, smile and occasionally wince at his words. His mother Veronica’s tireless and unflinching devotion and defence of her son made me want to weep. She is a tiger with her cub, not realising that one day she has to let go and perhaps get a life of her own. And then there’s Isabelle, her desperation causes her to sink to depths she never imagined, will she ever find herself?
It’s a simple enough plot, but written so beautifully and so perfectly that it needs nothing more, in fact to do so would detract from the brilliance of these characters. This Is How We Are Human is a book that from the first chapter you will fall into, effortlessly observing and absorbing, and you will eventually leave with a hell of a lot more knowledge and empathy than you started with. I have no direct experience of anyone with Autistic Spectrum Disorder, but I’ve learnt more from this book than I ever could from a documentary.
Captivating, compelling and simply superb. I adored this book and didn’t want it to end. And I just know I’ll be thinking about Sebastian for a long, long time.
Thanks to Orenda Books & Anne Cater for my ARC. All views my own.
June 20, 2021
This is Louise’s 7th standalone novel and in my humble opinion her best so far and I almost read this in one sitting which is quite unusual for me.
This is How We Are Human is a beautifully written story of one mother’s determination to give her son everything he needs and desires at whatever cost (both emotionally, morally and financially). Veronica is a widowed mother of Sebastian, a 20 year old high functioning autistic young man who loves swimming, eggs and really, really, really wants to have sex. Veronica is a patient, determined and protective mother who loves her son and knows that despite her own moral thinking wants to ensure Sebastian experiences sex in a safe environment.
Violetta is a high class escort, who works part-time supplementing her income whilst training as a nurse. She has huge financial commitments which the reader finds out about within the story and her situation is heart breaking to read so when she is approached by Veronica to “tutor” Sebastian having just been attacked, she reluctantly agrees and doesn’t for one moment think that her life will take this unexpected turn.
Meanwhile 20 year old Sebastian, lover of swimming, fried eggs and learning to be a brick layer is struggling to deal with his maturing body’s sexual urges despite his emotional immaturity.
I absolutely ADORED all three of these main characters and couldn’t get enough of them. Veronica’s selfless and unconditional love for her son was so real and natural and I felt her pain and concern about how Sebastian was feeling and being treated by everyone. Violetta proved to be the most loyal and dedicated daughter who would do anything to help her father and had to resort to working as an escort to provide him with everything he needed despite putting herself in danger and lovely, sweet Sebby, who simply says things as he sees them – direct, occasionally inappropriate, matter-of-factly and sometimes very funny who just wants to be loved for himself.
Louise has an incredible talent for bringing fictional characters to life in such clarity the reader can’t help caring about them as if they were actually human. This is without doubt a wonderful, thought-provoking, uplifting and emotional book which I urge everyone to read.
5 big shiny stars from me.
When the mother of an autistic young man hires a call girl to make him happy, three lives collide in unexpected and moving ways….. — with Louise Beech and Karen Sullivan.
This is How We Are Human is a beautifully written story of one mother’s determination to give her son everything he needs and desires at whatever cost (both emotionally, morally and financially). Veronica is a widowed mother of Sebastian, a 20 year old high functioning autistic young man who loves swimming, eggs and really, really, really wants to have sex. Veronica is a patient, determined and protective mother who loves her son and knows that despite her own moral thinking wants to ensure Sebastian experiences sex in a safe environment.
Violetta is a high class escort, who works part-time supplementing her income whilst training as a nurse. She has huge financial commitments which the reader finds out about within the story and her situation is heart breaking to read so when she is approached by Veronica to “tutor” Sebastian having just been attacked, she reluctantly agrees and doesn’t for one moment think that her life will take this unexpected turn.
Meanwhile 20 year old Sebastian, lover of swimming, fried eggs and learning to be a brick layer is struggling to deal with his maturing body’s sexual urges despite his emotional immaturity.
I absolutely ADORED all three of these main characters and couldn’t get enough of them. Veronica’s selfless and unconditional love for her son was so real and natural and I felt her pain and concern about how Sebastian was feeling and being treated by everyone. Violetta proved to be the most loyal and dedicated daughter who would do anything to help her father and had to resort to working as an escort to provide him with everything he needed despite putting herself in danger and lovely, sweet Sebby, who simply says things as he sees them – direct, occasionally inappropriate, matter-of-factly and sometimes very funny who just wants to be loved for himself.
Louise has an incredible talent for bringing fictional characters to life in such clarity the reader can’t help caring about them as if they were actually human. This is without doubt a wonderful, thought-provoking, uplifting and emotional book which I urge everyone to read.
5 big shiny stars from me.
When the mother of an autistic young man hires a call girl to make him happy, three lives collide in unexpected and moving ways….. — with Louise Beech and Karen Sullivan.
June 9, 2021
It takes an author of rare talent and emotional dexterity to tackle the story at the heart of This Is How We Are Human without it feeling insensitive, unrealistic or maudlin. Fortunately, this is Louise Beech we’re talking about who seems to have the unerring ability to draw a reader into a story so that they feel they actually know the characters.
And, as it happens, the story has personal meaning for Louise. As she explains, “Though This is How We Are Human is fiction, the premise was inspired by my friends, 20-year-old Sean, who is autistic, and his mum Fiona. Fiona had spoken to me about how much Sean longed to meet a girl and have sex. No one talks about this, she said – the difficulties navigating romance often faced by those on the spectrum. It ’s an issue that I wanted to explore. Fiona and Sean encouraged me and guided me through the book; Sean regularly consulted on dialogue, rightly insisting that his voice was heard, was strong, and was accurate. I cannot thank my extraordinary friends enough for their help and support.”
Sebastian is definitely a character I won’t forget in a hurry. After all, I know his precise age, his favourite music and how he likes his eggs cooked. And how could one not feel for his mother Veronica, who loves her ‘beautiful, complex, challenging, difficult, wonderful boy’ and just wants the best for him. But trying to do your best for someone you care about can get very complicated.
There were frequent occasions in the book when I felt sad for Sebastian and for Veronica. But, if anything, I felt saddest for the young woman we know as Violetta because of the many emotional and moral dilemmas she faces and because, at the point where it looks as if everything should start to go right for her, suddenly just the opposite looks likely.
If you’re looking for a reading experience that will encompass tears of sadness one moment and tears of joy the next – with a few chuckles in between – then This Is How To Be Human is the book for you. And although I’m not as clever as Sebastian, let me have a go…
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin love with this latest book by Louise Beech
And, as it happens, the story has personal meaning for Louise. As she explains, “Though This is How We Are Human is fiction, the premise was inspired by my friends, 20-year-old Sean, who is autistic, and his mum Fiona. Fiona had spoken to me about how much Sean longed to meet a girl and have sex. No one talks about this, she said – the difficulties navigating romance often faced by those on the spectrum. It ’s an issue that I wanted to explore. Fiona and Sean encouraged me and guided me through the book; Sean regularly consulted on dialogue, rightly insisting that his voice was heard, was strong, and was accurate. I cannot thank my extraordinary friends enough for their help and support.”
Sebastian is definitely a character I won’t forget in a hurry. After all, I know his precise age, his favourite music and how he likes his eggs cooked. And how could one not feel for his mother Veronica, who loves her ‘beautiful, complex, challenging, difficult, wonderful boy’ and just wants the best for him. But trying to do your best for someone you care about can get very complicated.
There were frequent occasions in the book when I felt sad for Sebastian and for Veronica. But, if anything, I felt saddest for the young woman we know as Violetta because of the many emotional and moral dilemmas she faces and because, at the point where it looks as if everything should start to go right for her, suddenly just the opposite looks likely.
If you’re looking for a reading experience that will encompass tears of sadness one moment and tears of joy the next – with a few chuckles in between – then This Is How To Be Human is the book for you. And although I’m not as clever as Sebastian, let me have a go…
Knock, knock
Who’s there?
Justin
Justin who?
Justin love with this latest book by Louise Beech
April 4, 2021
I have been a mega-fan of Louise Beech’s since her first novel, How to be Brave, and I’m delighted to tell you that this is her best yet, in a field where the bar is set incredibly high.
Sebastian is a true original: a 20-year-old boy/man with autism, who is at times wise and insightful, and at other times very stuck in his ways and keen on routine and repetition. I have a personal relationship with a man with autism, and Louise’s portrait has a ring of authenticity for me, capturing Sebastian’s vulnerability as well as his searing honesty. I fell head over heels in love with him.
Sebastian is desperate to have a sex life and, after much deliberation, his mother Veronica decides to hire a young woman called Isabelle who has been working as an escort to fund her father’s nursing care. The chapters about Isabelle’s sex work are disturbing and uncomfortable to read at times. It’s impossible to predict what will happen as Veronica and Isabelle make intimate decisions on behalf of Sebastian. Are they doing the right thing? There are chapters from the point of view of each of the three, inviting us to decide for ourselves, and this is part of the novel’s power.
The story is incredibly moving, gripping, and full of heart. It’s a page-turner that gets completely under your skin, and I bet everyone’s going to be talking about it. In my opinion, it’s a much better book than Eleanor Oliphant and if there’s any justice in the world it will be a huge bestseller.
Sebastian is a true original: a 20-year-old boy/man with autism, who is at times wise and insightful, and at other times very stuck in his ways and keen on routine and repetition. I have a personal relationship with a man with autism, and Louise’s portrait has a ring of authenticity for me, capturing Sebastian’s vulnerability as well as his searing honesty. I fell head over heels in love with him.
Sebastian is desperate to have a sex life and, after much deliberation, his mother Veronica decides to hire a young woman called Isabelle who has been working as an escort to fund her father’s nursing care. The chapters about Isabelle’s sex work are disturbing and uncomfortable to read at times. It’s impossible to predict what will happen as Veronica and Isabelle make intimate decisions on behalf of Sebastian. Are they doing the right thing? There are chapters from the point of view of each of the three, inviting us to decide for ourselves, and this is part of the novel’s power.
The story is incredibly moving, gripping, and full of heart. It’s a page-turner that gets completely under your skin, and I bet everyone’s going to be talking about it. In my opinion, it’s a much better book than Eleanor Oliphant and if there’s any justice in the world it will be a huge bestseller.
July 14, 2021
Ahh this book! This is how we are Human is beautifully crafted, compassionate, thought-provoking, stigma-smashing, and, to me, shows us just why fiction is so important. It can open our eyes to lives we don’t live, and shows us something about humanity. This book does this in spades. Not only about a man who happens to have autism, but about a woman who happens to have to turn to prostitution, motherhood and sex. Who should feel shame and for what? As this books shows, our society sometimes has this all upside down and wrong.
There is nothing sordid about this book (except in the bad behaviour of some). I also applaud the author for making the brave decision to write this book. I 100% support of #OwnVoices, but I also 100% support the ability of all writers to be able to write what they choose. Provided all the research is done well (as in this case) limiting who writes what is a dangerous idea.
In conclusion, I love this book and recommend it to everyone!!
There is nothing sordid about this book (except in the bad behaviour of some). I also applaud the author for making the brave decision to write this book. I 100% support of #OwnVoices, but I also 100% support the ability of all writers to be able to write what they choose. Provided all the research is done well (as in this case) limiting who writes what is a dangerous idea.
In conclusion, I love this book and recommend it to everyone!!
August 8, 2021
What are those shiny, vibrating things? Oh yes, my heart emojis are back!
I remember a reader saying 'your heart is in good hands with Louise Beech' and now I can see why!
This was my first Beech novel, but I am now going to buy every book of hers without even reading the blurbs!
I was mesmerised from the prologue and wasn't able to pull away my heart from these characters until the last page.
The characters are surely the shining stars in this book, and I get the feeling that is the same for Beech's other books too. I honestly loved them all, but Sebastian stole my heart. What a beautiful character, whose humour and pain were gently thread throughout the book with a fine balance.
Beech makes you aware of your own prejudices- how do you deal with your autistic son who is developing sexual urges, like any other 20 year old man has? This is an issue I have never even considered. And why? I am ashamed to admit it. But that's the beauty of Beech, she highlights an issue that the reader has not even considered.
The realtionship between Sebastian and Isabelle was absolutely glorious, as was his relationship with Veronica, his mother.
The plot was so gripping too, as much as any thriller.
Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
I remember a reader saying 'your heart is in good hands with Louise Beech' and now I can see why!
This was my first Beech novel, but I am now going to buy every book of hers without even reading the blurbs!
I was mesmerised from the prologue and wasn't able to pull away my heart from these characters until the last page.
The characters are surely the shining stars in this book, and I get the feeling that is the same for Beech's other books too. I honestly loved them all, but Sebastian stole my heart. What a beautiful character, whose humour and pain were gently thread throughout the book with a fine balance.
Beech makes you aware of your own prejudices- how do you deal with your autistic son who is developing sexual urges, like any other 20 year old man has? This is an issue I have never even considered. And why? I am ashamed to admit it. But that's the beauty of Beech, she highlights an issue that the reader has not even considered.
The realtionship between Sebastian and Isabelle was absolutely glorious, as was his relationship with Veronica, his mother.
The plot was so gripping too, as much as any thriller.
Wonderful, wonderful stuff.
April 4, 2021
A beautiful, yet thought provoking novel - once again from Louise Beech - that I couldn’t stop thinking about during breaks from reading it, and one which I am certain will stay with me. Just as The Lion Tamer who Lost did.
The writing is enchanting; it’s almost as if Beech puts a spell on you when you read her novel. The characters are fascinating, and marvellously written so as to create empathy and humour. I feel bereft at losing Sebastian now I’ve finished reading the novel now.
Beech has a way of offering insight to a situation and making you really feel for those involved.
TLTWL is still my favourite, but this is a very close second now. I love it 99%.
The writing is enchanting; it’s almost as if Beech puts a spell on you when you read her novel. The characters are fascinating, and marvellously written so as to create empathy and humour. I feel bereft at losing Sebastian now I’ve finished reading the novel now.
Beech has a way of offering insight to a situation and making you really feel for those involved.
TLTWL is still my favourite, but this is a very close second now. I love it 99%.
May 1, 2022
I loved the concept of this novel, and generally speaking, I really enjoyed the novel as well. I don't think I fell head over heels in love with it as other people have done, but it was a good read. I think my slight problem came in the fact that I found the concept amazing, but the story itself felt a little superficial. I think things could have gone much deeper, and the author could have gotten to the same outcome by going just a little bit deeper into certain things and in terms of the character building. The characters seemed just a little bit too likeable and too perfect and too idealistic. Yes, I know that Isabelle was portrayed as a more complicated character, but for me, she was just too sweet considering what she was forced to go through. Things like that would harden a person, and maybe even make them slightly disagreeable. It just seemed too perfect that an autistic man with certain needs happened to have those needs serviced by the nicest, kindest, sweetest, most caring escort in any city anywhere. So yeah, I had some small issues around things like that.
Overall though, an entertaining read, with characters to love if you tend to love nice, sweet, understanding, perfect characters. The novel isn't very long and you'll get through this one quickly. A feel good novel that had some people in tears by the end. I didn't shed any tears and didn't feel any real emotion on finishing this one but I can still see how it would appeal to many. My soul tends to gravitate towards darker novels and so this one was slightly too innocent for me.
Overall though, an entertaining read, with characters to love if you tend to love nice, sweet, understanding, perfect characters. The novel isn't very long and you'll get through this one quickly. A feel good novel that had some people in tears by the end. I didn't shed any tears and didn't feel any real emotion on finishing this one but I can still see how it would appeal to many. My soul tends to gravitate towards darker novels and so this one was slightly too innocent for me.
April 27, 2021
I’ve read and enjoyed every one of Louise Beech’s books. This is How We Are Human is another brilliant thought provoking and moving read from the pen of this extremely talented author.
Sebastian James Murphy is 20 years 6 months and 2 days old at the start of the book. Sebastian has autism and there are things that are very important to him – including his fish, eggs, and routines. He is also obsessed with sex, or rather the lack of it, which his mother Veronica seeks to resolve.
The characters in this story just broke my heart. Sebastian who is bullied for being different. He constantly faces prejudice but ultimately just wants to be loved and accepted for who he is. His devoted mother Veronica would go the ends of the earth for him to be happy, and then there is Violetta; who chooses a path that she would rather not follow but who can see no other way forward to help someone she loves.
With the story told from three perspectives, the way that these three worlds are brought together is written with compassion and sensitivity. I have no experience with autism but given the way that Sebastian’s character has been written and, with the information contained in the acknowledgements telling how Louise received guidance from the parents of an autistic child, I trust Louise to write an authentic character that I can believe in.
Sebastian is a lovely young man but one whose behaviour can sometimes be challenging to say the least. His lack of a filter can get him into trouble with those who don’t understand but it makes him who is he is. He is also intelligent, perceptive and understands more than he is given credit for.
Veronica is fiercely protective of Sebastian and a little jealous of anyone else who should come into his life. After his father died she has fought endlessly for Sebastian, he is her life. However there are times when she can’t always see that he doesn’t want or need her to fight all his battles and this is where she makes some questionable decisions.
Violetta’s story made me want to weep. What she has to endure to fulfil a promise is heartbreaking. I so wanted her to find her happy ever after.
This is How We Are Human is a extraordinary and powerful story and my review can’t possibly do it justice. Louise Beech has written another stunning book.
Sebastian James Murphy is 20 years 6 months and 2 days old at the start of the book. Sebastian has autism and there are things that are very important to him – including his fish, eggs, and routines. He is also obsessed with sex, or rather the lack of it, which his mother Veronica seeks to resolve.
The characters in this story just broke my heart. Sebastian who is bullied for being different. He constantly faces prejudice but ultimately just wants to be loved and accepted for who he is. His devoted mother Veronica would go the ends of the earth for him to be happy, and then there is Violetta; who chooses a path that she would rather not follow but who can see no other way forward to help someone she loves.
With the story told from three perspectives, the way that these three worlds are brought together is written with compassion and sensitivity. I have no experience with autism but given the way that Sebastian’s character has been written and, with the information contained in the acknowledgements telling how Louise received guidance from the parents of an autistic child, I trust Louise to write an authentic character that I can believe in.
Sebastian is a lovely young man but one whose behaviour can sometimes be challenging to say the least. His lack of a filter can get him into trouble with those who don’t understand but it makes him who is he is. He is also intelligent, perceptive and understands more than he is given credit for.
Veronica is fiercely protective of Sebastian and a little jealous of anyone else who should come into his life. After his father died she has fought endlessly for Sebastian, he is her life. However there are times when she can’t always see that he doesn’t want or need her to fight all his battles and this is where she makes some questionable decisions.
Violetta’s story made me want to weep. What she has to endure to fulfil a promise is heartbreaking. I so wanted her to find her happy ever after.
This is How We Are Human is a extraordinary and powerful story and my review can’t possibly do it justice. Louise Beech has written another stunning book.
April 30, 2021
I read this wonderful book over a week ago, loved it beyond reason, but every time I’ve sat at my keyboard to produce a review the words have failed to flow. It was a compelling and beautiful read, extremely moving, sometimes very funny, extraordinarily thought provoking, and entirely unlike anything I’ve ever read before – and I adored every single moment.
The story centres on three main characters, who we first meet through an appointment at a sexual health clinic. Veronica, mother to Sebastian, is at her wits’ end about how to handle her son’s obsession with sex – there’s nothing prurient or threatening about it, he’s just 20 years 6 months and 2 days old, and it’s all he can think about. Although that’s not entirely true – he’s almost equally obsessed with the songs of Billy Ocean, the perfect fried eggs, his swimming goggles (that nicely blur the edges) and organising his CDs in alphabetical order. Sebastian has autism, and wants a relationship so very badly – he also has absolutely no filter, and is entirely adorable from that very first encounter. In desperation, Veronica decides to turn to a professional sex worker – and that brings Violetta into their lives, although we’ve already met her in a rather different guise.
I really don’t want to tell the story, but essentially the book is the story of what happens next, while following the lives and journeys of all three characters. The power of the book to make you feel – and feel so very deeply – for them all is exceptional. While you might not agree with Veronica’s decision, or the way she sets about putting it into action, you really can’t help but identify with her and the deep love and desperation that drives her. You will fall in love with Sebastian, as anyone would if they only allowed him to get close enough. I had little understanding of autism and its many challenges when I approached this book, and it entirely altered my perceptions – not by preaching or labouring the point, but simply by presenting a character with depth and complexity who touched me at a deep emotional level. And Violetta’s journey was equally compelling – with no punches pulled on the dangers of her profession, we discover that she’s run out of choices too, and is also motivated by love.
I read this book from cover to cover in almost one sitting, and it hasn’t left my thoughts ever since. It’s so much more than a simple story, and the feelings it evokes are far greater than sympathy – the author exposes her characters in multiple dimensions, makes them so very human, laying their complex lives on the page in the way she does so very well. It makes you question how far it’s acceptable to go in the name of love, but also to examine your own prejudices and misconceptions. And I might not have mentioned the perfection of the writing – despite its themes, there’s a perfect balance between the moments of trauma and the well-judged humour that runs through the story, just before that next small moment that pierces you to the heart and moves you to tears.
This is an exceptional book, full of hope and love – and this is a woefully inadequate review. If you only pick up one book this year, this should be the one – stunning and totally unforgettable.
The story centres on three main characters, who we first meet through an appointment at a sexual health clinic. Veronica, mother to Sebastian, is at her wits’ end about how to handle her son’s obsession with sex – there’s nothing prurient or threatening about it, he’s just 20 years 6 months and 2 days old, and it’s all he can think about. Although that’s not entirely true – he’s almost equally obsessed with the songs of Billy Ocean, the perfect fried eggs, his swimming goggles (that nicely blur the edges) and organising his CDs in alphabetical order. Sebastian has autism, and wants a relationship so very badly – he also has absolutely no filter, and is entirely adorable from that very first encounter. In desperation, Veronica decides to turn to a professional sex worker – and that brings Violetta into their lives, although we’ve already met her in a rather different guise.
I really don’t want to tell the story, but essentially the book is the story of what happens next, while following the lives and journeys of all three characters. The power of the book to make you feel – and feel so very deeply – for them all is exceptional. While you might not agree with Veronica’s decision, or the way she sets about putting it into action, you really can’t help but identify with her and the deep love and desperation that drives her. You will fall in love with Sebastian, as anyone would if they only allowed him to get close enough. I had little understanding of autism and its many challenges when I approached this book, and it entirely altered my perceptions – not by preaching or labouring the point, but simply by presenting a character with depth and complexity who touched me at a deep emotional level. And Violetta’s journey was equally compelling – with no punches pulled on the dangers of her profession, we discover that she’s run out of choices too, and is also motivated by love.
I read this book from cover to cover in almost one sitting, and it hasn’t left my thoughts ever since. It’s so much more than a simple story, and the feelings it evokes are far greater than sympathy – the author exposes her characters in multiple dimensions, makes them so very human, laying their complex lives on the page in the way she does so very well. It makes you question how far it’s acceptable to go in the name of love, but also to examine your own prejudices and misconceptions. And I might not have mentioned the perfection of the writing – despite its themes, there’s a perfect balance between the moments of trauma and the well-judged humour that runs through the story, just before that next small moment that pierces you to the heart and moves you to tears.
This is an exceptional book, full of hope and love – and this is a woefully inadequate review. If you only pick up one book this year, this should be the one – stunning and totally unforgettable.
April 1, 2021
Achingly brilliant and totally compelling - 'This Is How We Are Human' made me laugh, made me cry, challenged some of my perceptions and above all made me made me care deeply for the three main characters..what more can you ask of an author?
I've adored Louise Beech's work from the start and once again she's ticked every single box for me - the writing is beautiful, her trademark honesty and empathy shine through. The characters are complex, human, flawed and fabulously drawn. The story is so well crafted and is intriguing, heartbreaking yet ultimately uplifting. I absolutely devoured this book!
I can't imagine what I would do in Veronica or Isabelle's positions but I can guarantee that you WILL fall a little in love with Sebastian, have empathy for Veronica and Isabelle and be rooting for them all to find happiness.
This is a book which will stay with me long after reading the last glorious word..
I've adored Louise Beech's work from the start and once again she's ticked every single box for me - the writing is beautiful, her trademark honesty and empathy shine through. The characters are complex, human, flawed and fabulously drawn. The story is so well crafted and is intriguing, heartbreaking yet ultimately uplifting. I absolutely devoured this book!
I can't imagine what I would do in Veronica or Isabelle's positions but I can guarantee that you WILL fall a little in love with Sebastian, have empathy for Veronica and Isabelle and be rooting for them all to find happiness.
This is a book which will stay with me long after reading the last glorious word..
November 4, 2021
I must be the only review on here that isn't a 5. I tried really hard to keep going with this book thinking surely this must get better. I just don't get why everyone else loves it so much. The writing is terrible. It's like everything is man-splained. I understand the internal dialogue from Sebastian, that makes sense and I wanted to his character. But Isabelle and Veronica are vacuous, there is no soul to them. It's not like you are hearing their thoughts and feelings, there is no real emotion in anything they say. it's like the author thinks you are too stupid to understand everything so is dumming down the entire book. I cannot believe for a second that this story would happen in real life. Everything is too convenient and happens just as you'd expect. I mean seriously, the money? Veronica just happens to have $250,000 spare so decides to spend it on a prostitute. And Isabelle's father goes from jetting around the world to leaving her destitute. She goes from nothing to earning thousands in a matter of 4 months. At one point Isabelle tells Veronica she's earned $60k in the last 6 months, so why does Veronica feel like she has to pay her $250k??The numbers just don't stack up for me and it becomes unbelievable that this is your first and only choice for both of them. It's a massive leap and just glances over the reasons why these women came to these decisions. Maybe the author needed to make this a longer book and develop the story and characters in more depth.
Could not finish this. 1 star
Could not finish this. 1 star
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
May 18, 2021
Louise Beech never fails to impress with her thought provoking, character driven and emotional writing. This Is How We Are Human is no exception and tells the story of Sebastian, his mother, Veronica and student nurse, Isabelle. Veronica is fiercely protective of Sebastian, who is autistic, and just wants him to be happy.
Sebastian needs routine, loves his fish, eggs cooked just the way he likes them and 1980s music. Now twenty years old his thoughts are centred around having sex. He’s lonely, desperately wanting a relationship, to be accepted and loved for who is.
Sebastian says exactly what he thinks, he doesn’t have any concept of the ‘normal’ social filters, which causes problems with people who don’t know/understand him and who have misconceptions and prejudices about people with autism.
Veronica, feeling she has run out of choices to get help for Sebastian, takes an unprecedented step which brings three people together in ways they never expected in this very moving and compelling tale.
This Is How We Are Human is a thought provoking, perceptive and wonderfully written book. Sebastian especially, but in fact all the characters, are portrayed with sensitivity and compassion. It gives pause for thought—what would any of us have done in Veronica’s situation, or for that matter in Isabelle’s.
Alternate chapters come from the perspective of a particular character, with a heading personal to them, and in this way we connect with them, following each journey of self discovery with all its emotional upheavals. I was invested in the story and the characters from the start.
Louise Beech writes with empathy for her incredibly well defined, realistic characters and the complexities of the subject matter are handled with great care.
Sebastian needs routine, loves his fish, eggs cooked just the way he likes them and 1980s music. Now twenty years old his thoughts are centred around having sex. He’s lonely, desperately wanting a relationship, to be accepted and loved for who is.
Sebastian says exactly what he thinks, he doesn’t have any concept of the ‘normal’ social filters, which causes problems with people who don’t know/understand him and who have misconceptions and prejudices about people with autism.
Veronica, feeling she has run out of choices to get help for Sebastian, takes an unprecedented step which brings three people together in ways they never expected in this very moving and compelling tale.
This Is How We Are Human is a thought provoking, perceptive and wonderfully written book. Sebastian especially, but in fact all the characters, are portrayed with sensitivity and compassion. It gives pause for thought—what would any of us have done in Veronica’s situation, or for that matter in Isabelle’s.
Alternate chapters come from the perspective of a particular character, with a heading personal to them, and in this way we connect with them, following each journey of self discovery with all its emotional upheavals. I was invested in the story and the characters from the start.
Louise Beech writes with empathy for her incredibly well defined, realistic characters and the complexities of the subject matter are handled with great care.
April 1, 2025
4.5
Niet het einde waar ik op had gehoopt maar blijft een mooi boek!
Niet het einde waar ik op had gehoopt maar blijft een mooi boek!
May 15, 2024
For me, this felt like a good and important opportunity that just missed the mark. Going off the average rating and my book club though, I'm very much in the minority!
In terms of what I did take from this book, I appreciated the focus that it put on sexual desire in adults with SEND and additional needs. As a society, I think we have a tendency to perceive these individuals in an almost childlike manner, addressing their immediate needs but putting to one side the conversations that could be perceived to be awkward or uncomfortable. What this book did was give a voice to an individual who was considered in that manner, but was vocal about their sexual desire and want to pursue sexual relations. In that regard, it was incredibly thought provoking on a personal level as I did struggle during the opening third as Sebastian vocally expressed his desires in situations that would be perceived to be socially uncouth. It made me ponder whether the chaste ringfencing around sex as a conversation is detrimental and my discomfort reflection of me, while also pondering whether adults with additional learning needs are being supported sufficiently in sex education to enable them to understand that their feelings are natural but that boundaries need to be respected.
In terms of those conversations, it was one of the areas where this book fell down for me. While I appreciated Veronica's anguish at seeing her son's plight and why she, ultimately, took the step that she did in paying Isabelle to have sexual relations with Sebastian, for her not to pre-empt this by having a conversation about consent was something that I really struggled with. It shouldn't have been Isabelle's role to have to explain consent having already had sexual relations with Sebastian and, frankly, it shouldn't have been Isabelle's role to "teach" Sebastian about sex. Not that this *should* have fallen to Veronica either, but when you look at the wider picture of what this novel is about, there should have been a presence - whether support workers or further back in Sebastian's education - that allowed Sebastian to have conversations about sex and consent in a safe, neutral environment. Perhaps Beech was trying to frame the fact that he had been denied this, but then surely it should have been an aspect that received some consideration within the book itself?
As for the overall plot, there were a few too many contrivances for me. The situation with Isabelle's father was plot-hole soup. They could probably re-earn the money that was spent on his care with the research into his miraculous recovery from being in a coma for months on end! The various contrivances that meant Veronica reached out to Isabelle and Isabelle accepted...one of which was which sat incredibly uncomfortably with me. It was unnecessary in this novel, a novel that didn't have the scope to explore the vulnerability, pain and trauma of experiencing that and to then place Isabelle in another transactional sexual relationship, regardless of her apparent financial need, felt tacky and, yes, contrived. That subject needed more exploration, particularly in the context of the progression of Sebastian and Isabelle's relationship which felt too sudden on Isabelle's part and weakly executed on Sebastian's part as Beech wanted to throw in a twist with regards to his feelings which meant we weren't permitted to see his increased social confidence which enabled him to pursue friendships.
So, lots that really didn't work for me and made me feel actively uncomfortable, but it was incredibly thought provoking and inspired a good chat at book club so not a write off by any means.
In terms of what I did take from this book, I appreciated the focus that it put on sexual desire in adults with SEND and additional needs. As a society, I think we have a tendency to perceive these individuals in an almost childlike manner, addressing their immediate needs but putting to one side the conversations that could be perceived to be awkward or uncomfortable. What this book did was give a voice to an individual who was considered in that manner, but was vocal about their sexual desire and want to pursue sexual relations. In that regard, it was incredibly thought provoking on a personal level as I did struggle during the opening third as Sebastian vocally expressed his desires in situations that would be perceived to be socially uncouth. It made me ponder whether the chaste ringfencing around sex as a conversation is detrimental and my discomfort reflection of me, while also pondering whether adults with additional learning needs are being supported sufficiently in sex education to enable them to understand that their feelings are natural but that boundaries need to be respected.
In terms of those conversations, it was one of the areas where this book fell down for me. While I appreciated Veronica's anguish at seeing her son's plight and why she, ultimately, took the step that she did in paying Isabelle to have sexual relations with Sebastian, for her not to pre-empt this by having a conversation about consent was something that I really struggled with. It shouldn't have been Isabelle's role to have to explain consent having already had sexual relations with Sebastian and, frankly, it shouldn't have been Isabelle's role to "teach" Sebastian about sex. Not that this *should* have fallen to Veronica either, but when you look at the wider picture of what this novel is about, there should have been a presence - whether support workers or further back in Sebastian's education - that allowed Sebastian to have conversations about sex and consent in a safe, neutral environment. Perhaps Beech was trying to frame the fact that he had been denied this, but then surely it should have been an aspect that received some consideration within the book itself?
As for the overall plot, there were a few too many contrivances for me. The situation with Isabelle's father was plot-hole soup. They could probably re-earn the money that was spent on his care with the research into his miraculous recovery from being in a coma for months on end! The various contrivances that meant Veronica reached out to Isabelle and Isabelle accepted...one of which was which sat incredibly uncomfortably with me. It was unnecessary in this novel, a novel that didn't have the scope to explore the vulnerability, pain and trauma of experiencing that and to then place Isabelle in another transactional sexual relationship, regardless of her apparent financial need, felt tacky and, yes, contrived. That subject needed more exploration, particularly in the context of the progression of Sebastian and Isabelle's relationship which felt too sudden on Isabelle's part and weakly executed on Sebastian's part as Beech wanted to throw in a twist with regards to his feelings which meant we weren't permitted to see his increased social confidence which enabled him to pursue friendships.
So, lots that really didn't work for me and made me feel actively uncomfortable, but it was incredibly thought provoking and inspired a good chat at book club so not a write off by any means.
July 3, 2021
Don't mind me I'm only still mopping up my bleeding heart! Louise Beech has a bit of a reputation of making tissues a necessary evil when reading her books and she certainly pulled at my heartstrings with This Is How We Are Human. It's obvious this is a novel written with heart which effortlessly speared mine!
I ended up loving The Lion Tamer Who Lost and I Am Dust, and this is now my third book by Louise Beech. I knew it was going to be amazing and touching before I even started it and that I might as well get myself a paper copy of this novel. I only buy those (or any book really) from authors I'm absolutely sure will deliver in the end, and I can assure you that she delivered everything I hoped for! So this face is now looking pretty smug about the fact that she owns a physical novel; it's one I know I want read it again.
This Is How We Are Human, blimey what a perfect title, you can feel the premise of this novel by that title alone. Between its pages lies an amazing story of love and friendship without it being a textbook romance novel. This Is How We Are Human is at times gentle but at other times cutting deep and it took me by surprise how deeply I cared for all three main characters and how touched I was by the whole story.
From the start I was on the fence about Veronica's plan though to secretly pay someone to sleep with her son Sebastian who has autism and is becoming a little obsessed with sex. There's an unspoken rule not to talk about such issues normally but Louise Beech is brave and there are no taboos for her. Anyway Sebastian thinks nobody will ever want to sleep with him and it breaks his mother's heart, hence her last resort resolution. I immediately felt it was morally wrong, the secrecy, the make belief, and I worried so much how it was going to end. A tiny part of me didn't like her for what she was doing, however much with good intentions. She wanted Sebastian to get the feeling that someone could be interested in him but what if he became too attached to HoneyBee? What if he didn't want it to ever end? Didn't she think about the possible consequences? The bubble someone with autism lives in is already small and they don't let just anybody in so my heart already broke just thinking about what could happen. Sebastian is so endearing, he's a man and he can give some very poignant comments but at other times he's disarmingly childlike too and it was stronger than myself but I felt a need to protect him, knowing from the very first pages of this novel that the world will fail him.
It mustn't have been easy to know how to write about sex, let alone from the viewpoints from someone who hasn't experienced it and from an escort's point of view but Louise Beech gave the reader an idea of what was happening without making it too awkward or spinning it out. I usually avoid books that have a lot of sex in them but this book does not include those cursed hot and graphic sex scenes so I was able to enjoy it all. I didn't even want anything else but to have Sebastian's dream come true.
If there's anything I take away from this story it is how we are all flawed, and that we are as prejudiced as the characters even if we say we're not. I made up assumptions while reading this novel and I was wrong to have them. This novel shoved my nose in it and I can't do anything other than admit this error, there's still work to be done. I'm sure I won't be the only one.
This Is How We Are Human is a beautiful and moving story, an eye-opener of a novel with a unique twist.
I ended up loving The Lion Tamer Who Lost and I Am Dust, and this is now my third book by Louise Beech. I knew it was going to be amazing and touching before I even started it and that I might as well get myself a paper copy of this novel. I only buy those (or any book really) from authors I'm absolutely sure will deliver in the end, and I can assure you that she delivered everything I hoped for! So this face is now looking pretty smug about the fact that she owns a physical novel; it's one I know I want read it again.
This Is How We Are Human, blimey what a perfect title, you can feel the premise of this novel by that title alone. Between its pages lies an amazing story of love and friendship without it being a textbook romance novel. This Is How We Are Human is at times gentle but at other times cutting deep and it took me by surprise how deeply I cared for all three main characters and how touched I was by the whole story.
From the start I was on the fence about Veronica's plan though to secretly pay someone to sleep with her son Sebastian who has autism and is becoming a little obsessed with sex. There's an unspoken rule not to talk about such issues normally but Louise Beech is brave and there are no taboos for her. Anyway Sebastian thinks nobody will ever want to sleep with him and it breaks his mother's heart, hence her last resort resolution. I immediately felt it was morally wrong, the secrecy, the make belief, and I worried so much how it was going to end. A tiny part of me didn't like her for what she was doing, however much with good intentions. She wanted Sebastian to get the feeling that someone could be interested in him but what if he became too attached to HoneyBee? What if he didn't want it to ever end? Didn't she think about the possible consequences? The bubble someone with autism lives in is already small and they don't let just anybody in so my heart already broke just thinking about what could happen. Sebastian is so endearing, he's a man and he can give some very poignant comments but at other times he's disarmingly childlike too and it was stronger than myself but I felt a need to protect him, knowing from the very first pages of this novel that the world will fail him.
It mustn't have been easy to know how to write about sex, let alone from the viewpoints from someone who hasn't experienced it and from an escort's point of view but Louise Beech gave the reader an idea of what was happening without making it too awkward or spinning it out. I usually avoid books that have a lot of sex in them but this book does not include those cursed hot and graphic sex scenes so I was able to enjoy it all. I didn't even want anything else but to have Sebastian's dream come true.
If there's anything I take away from this story it is how we are all flawed, and that we are as prejudiced as the characters even if we say we're not. I made up assumptions while reading this novel and I was wrong to have them. This novel shoved my nose in it and I can't do anything other than admit this error, there's still work to be done. I'm sure I won't be the only one.
This Is How We Are Human is a beautiful and moving story, an eye-opener of a novel with a unique twist.
March 20, 2023
Originele recensie: https://bazarow.com/recensie/een-gewo...
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Sebastian James Murphy heeft autisme. Dit is het eerste wat mensen over het algemeen over hem te weten komen. Maar Sebastian is ook een gewone jongen van 20 jaar (zes maanden en twee dagen oud, zoals hij het liever benoemd) met normale dromen en verlangens.
Veronica, Sebastian’s moeder, is de belangrijkste persoon in zijn leven. En andersom net zo. Ze kan het dan ook niet naast zich neerleggen dat Sebastian gevoelens en verlangens heeft waar ze hem niet bij kan helpen. Of misschien kan ze dat wel? Ze overweegt een escortdame voor Sebastian in te huren.
Violetta is een escortdame. Deze baan heeft ze hard nodig om zowel haar studie tot verpleegkundige als de zorgkosten voor haar vader te kunnen betalen. Wanneer deze drie levens elkaar raken, verandert alles.
Moeilijke beslissing
Veronica is altijd over alles eerlijk geweest tegen Sebastian en ging geen enkel gesprek uit de weg. Zijn seksuele verlangens kwamen hierdoor ook ter sprake en Veronica heeft er alle begrip voor dat hij ze heeft. Ze vraagt zich alleen af hoe ze hem hierbij kan helpen. Hij heeft geen vrienden, maakt moeilijk contact met mensen en hij is zeer gehecht aan zijn eigen rituelen. Naast de seksuele verlangens wil Sebastian zich ook geliefd voelen, door iemand anders dan zijn moeder. Veronica zit in dubio of ze een escortdame gaat inhuren, zonder dat hij dit weet, of dat ze zijn verlangens negeert. Hij flapt er echter tegen elk willekeurig persoon uit wat hij wil en Veronica beseft zich dat dit een probleem kan worden. Ze moet een keuze maken die geen enkele moeder zou moeten maken.
De twijfels die Veronica heeft worden heel sterk neergezet. Je kan niet anders dan met deze vrouw meeleven. De keus die ze maakt, begrijp je. Je snapt waar het vandaan komt. Maar tegelijkertijd heb je ook het gevoel dat dit niet eerlijk is tegenover Sebastian. Al vanaf het begin van het boek gooit Louise Beech je gevoelens overhoop en dit blijft ze gedurende de rest van het verhaal doen.
Regelmatig kreeg ik het gevoel dat het verhaal té intiem was. Je leest scènes waarbij je het idee krijgt dat dit niet voor jouw ogen bestemd is en dat maakte dat ik de eerste helft van het boek twijfelde of ik dit gevoel nou positief of negatief vond. Hoe beter je de personages echter leert kennen, hoe meer je met ze mee gaat leven en hoe beter je het boek gaat vinden. Bij het dichtklappen van het boek kan ik dan ook niet anders zeggen dan dat het een enorme aanrader is. Je wordt meegenomen in zaken waar je normaliter niet over na denkt, Beech laat je van alles voelen en het boek is zowel hartverscheurend als hartverwarmend.
Een gewone jongen wordt verteld vanuit drie perspectieven. Sebastian, Veronica en Violetta. Ze zijn alle drie onwijs verschillend van elkaar en zijn ook alle drie personages die alles behalve standaard zijn. Via dit boek kan je dus tijdelijk in de levens kruipen van mensen waar je nooit op deze manier bij stilstaat. Beech heeft dit erg knap uitgewerkt, geen moment voelt het overdreven of onrealistisch.
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Sebastian James Murphy heeft autisme. Dit is het eerste wat mensen over het algemeen over hem te weten komen. Maar Sebastian is ook een gewone jongen van 20 jaar (zes maanden en twee dagen oud, zoals hij het liever benoemd) met normale dromen en verlangens.
Veronica, Sebastian’s moeder, is de belangrijkste persoon in zijn leven. En andersom net zo. Ze kan het dan ook niet naast zich neerleggen dat Sebastian gevoelens en verlangens heeft waar ze hem niet bij kan helpen. Of misschien kan ze dat wel? Ze overweegt een escortdame voor Sebastian in te huren.
Violetta is een escortdame. Deze baan heeft ze hard nodig om zowel haar studie tot verpleegkundige als de zorgkosten voor haar vader te kunnen betalen. Wanneer deze drie levens elkaar raken, verandert alles.
Moeilijke beslissing
Veronica is altijd over alles eerlijk geweest tegen Sebastian en ging geen enkel gesprek uit de weg. Zijn seksuele verlangens kwamen hierdoor ook ter sprake en Veronica heeft er alle begrip voor dat hij ze heeft. Ze vraagt zich alleen af hoe ze hem hierbij kan helpen. Hij heeft geen vrienden, maakt moeilijk contact met mensen en hij is zeer gehecht aan zijn eigen rituelen. Naast de seksuele verlangens wil Sebastian zich ook geliefd voelen, door iemand anders dan zijn moeder. Veronica zit in dubio of ze een escortdame gaat inhuren, zonder dat hij dit weet, of dat ze zijn verlangens negeert. Hij flapt er echter tegen elk willekeurig persoon uit wat hij wil en Veronica beseft zich dat dit een probleem kan worden. Ze moet een keuze maken die geen enkele moeder zou moeten maken.
De twijfels die Veronica heeft worden heel sterk neergezet. Je kan niet anders dan met deze vrouw meeleven. De keus die ze maakt, begrijp je. Je snapt waar het vandaan komt. Maar tegelijkertijd heb je ook het gevoel dat dit niet eerlijk is tegenover Sebastian. Al vanaf het begin van het boek gooit Louise Beech je gevoelens overhoop en dit blijft ze gedurende de rest van het verhaal doen.
Regelmatig kreeg ik het gevoel dat het verhaal té intiem was. Je leest scènes waarbij je het idee krijgt dat dit niet voor jouw ogen bestemd is en dat maakte dat ik de eerste helft van het boek twijfelde of ik dit gevoel nou positief of negatief vond. Hoe beter je de personages echter leert kennen, hoe meer je met ze mee gaat leven en hoe beter je het boek gaat vinden. Bij het dichtklappen van het boek kan ik dan ook niet anders zeggen dan dat het een enorme aanrader is. Je wordt meegenomen in zaken waar je normaliter niet over na denkt, Beech laat je van alles voelen en het boek is zowel hartverscheurend als hartverwarmend.
Een gewone jongen wordt verteld vanuit drie perspectieven. Sebastian, Veronica en Violetta. Ze zijn alle drie onwijs verschillend van elkaar en zijn ook alle drie personages die alles behalve standaard zijn. Via dit boek kan je dus tijdelijk in de levens kruipen van mensen waar je nooit op deze manier bij stilstaat. Beech heeft dit erg knap uitgewerkt, geen moment voelt het overdreven of onrealistisch.
April 9, 2021
Every now and then you read a book that takes your breath away. This is How We Are Human does just that. It is beautifully written but you don’t see that. You feel from the first page to the last.
Books give you the opportunity to walk in another’s shoes. To see and feel their lives. This is How They Are Human does just that which means at times it’s not comfortable reading but I am a better human and I hope a more understanding one for it.
Sebastian, Isabelle and Veronica will live on in my head opening my eyes and informing my thoughts. This is How We Are Human is a gift...a gift of insight, of beautiful words and emotion.
Books give you the opportunity to walk in another’s shoes. To see and feel their lives. This is How They Are Human does just that which means at times it’s not comfortable reading but I am a better human and I hope a more understanding one for it.
Sebastian, Isabelle and Veronica will live on in my head opening my eyes and informing my thoughts. This is How We Are Human is a gift...a gift of insight, of beautiful words and emotion.
July 15, 2021
The author is a gifted writer who always chooses a storyline that is just that little bit different, so often with a focus of social engagement, which gives her writing a really empathic quality.
In this novel she gets behind the life of Sebastian, who is a young man with autism, who is craving a relationship with a woman, but given his directness, it is not something that is likely to happen of its own accord.
His mother, Veronica, is clearly a doting parent – his father died in earlier years – and the care she gives him, counterbalanced by the inevitable frustrations and vexation, is described with sympathy and nuance.
There is Isabelle who is training as a nurse, specialising in patients with learning difficulties. She has another life working as Violetta because she needs huge sums of money to help care for her father, who is seriously ill.
As a reader one can, in a way, anticipate largely where this story may go and there are some nice, poignant elements feathered into the narrative that make it an interesting read – it is not without its emotional challenges along the way, however.
In this novel she gets behind the life of Sebastian, who is a young man with autism, who is craving a relationship with a woman, but given his directness, it is not something that is likely to happen of its own accord.
His mother, Veronica, is clearly a doting parent – his father died in earlier years – and the care she gives him, counterbalanced by the inevitable frustrations and vexation, is described with sympathy and nuance.
There is Isabelle who is training as a nurse, specialising in patients with learning difficulties. She has another life working as Violetta because she needs huge sums of money to help care for her father, who is seriously ill.
As a reader one can, in a way, anticipate largely where this story may go and there are some nice, poignant elements feathered into the narrative that make it an interesting read – it is not without its emotional challenges along the way, however.
April 26, 2024
This Is How We Are Human By Louise Beech
This book has been one of my favourites this year, and I am so glad that I read it. There are only 3 characters, and I took each one to my heart, to the point I didn’t want to finish the book and let them go.
I loved Veronica and Isabelle, but loved Sebastian even more. Sebastian is 20 years old and he is autistic, and this whole story centres around him wanting to have sex.
The story is sensitively written, and drew me in with every page. This is one of those books that you have to remind yourself that it is fiction, and I think it would make for a beautiful movie.
This was my first book by Louise, and most definitely won't be my last.
I loved every minute.
This book has been one of my favourites this year, and I am so glad that I read it. There are only 3 characters, and I took each one to my heart, to the point I didn’t want to finish the book and let them go.
I loved Veronica and Isabelle, but loved Sebastian even more. Sebastian is 20 years old and he is autistic, and this whole story centres around him wanting to have sex.
The story is sensitively written, and drew me in with every page. This is one of those books that you have to remind yourself that it is fiction, and I think it would make for a beautiful movie.
This was my first book by Louise, and most definitely won't be my last.
I loved every minute.
April 10, 2021
I found this a very moving story about a mother's love for her son. How far would you go for your son's needs? Sebastian is a twenty year old man who has autism, he loves to swim and listen to music but he is lonely. His mum only wants what's best for her son and wishes the world would accept him for who he is. Then she meets Violetta who changes his world completely. But what would he think of his mum if she knew she was paying her? I think that the topic that is discussed is quite a topical one but I found it interesting to learn more about autism as I didn't know much about it before reading this book. I feel it is a well written story which makes you think about what you would do if you were in that situation. There seems to have been a lot of research gone into the book too.
January 1, 2024
This is how human we are, Louise Beech
After the first few pages I thought I wouldn’t continue reading this book any further as the subject is somewhat hard for me to digest. But then after the introduction of the three main characters of this book there was no stopping and I went on to complete reading this. A moving touching story of a 20Year old autistic with mature problems, his loving mother who gets blinded and goes to the extreme of hiring a sex worker, Violetta. How these characters shape up when they come together is handled so delicately.
After the first few pages I thought I wouldn’t continue reading this book any further as the subject is somewhat hard for me to digest. But then after the introduction of the three main characters of this book there was no stopping and I went on to complete reading this. A moving touching story of a 20Year old autistic with mature problems, his loving mother who gets blinded and goes to the extreme of hiring a sex worker, Violetta. How these characters shape up when they come together is handled so delicately.
April 15, 2021
Wow – so far, this is the best book of 2021 and it will take a lot to beat it. Incredible story and subject matter, which I thought was very brave to delve into. This book has literally broken my heart and sewn it back together.
The story cleverly clashes the worlds of an autistic young man Sebastian, student nurse/escort Isabelle and a devoted mother Victoria. Sebastian has reached an age of needs other than fried eggs and CD’s in alphabetical order. He has sexual needs and expresses them on daily bases, landing him in trouble and making him the subject of college bullying. In come his mother Victoria, who would do whatever it takes to make her son happy. When Victoria finds out that the lovely student nurse they met at sexual health clinic, is also a high class escort by night, she makes contact with Isabelle and makes an offer Isabelle cannot refuse. For £250,000 give up escorting and only look after the needs of her son Sebastian.
The three people go on a massive journey of self-discovery with broken hearts, jealousy, guilt, judgment and love. It’s a huge rollercoaster of emotions whilst finding out reasons behind Isabelle’s escorting career and pain. Victoria has to find a way to get over her own prejudice ideas to let Isabelle in and find out the man that Sebastian becomes.
Wonderful book.
The story cleverly clashes the worlds of an autistic young man Sebastian, student nurse/escort Isabelle and a devoted mother Victoria. Sebastian has reached an age of needs other than fried eggs and CD’s in alphabetical order. He has sexual needs and expresses them on daily bases, landing him in trouble and making him the subject of college bullying. In come his mother Victoria, who would do whatever it takes to make her son happy. When Victoria finds out that the lovely student nurse they met at sexual health clinic, is also a high class escort by night, she makes contact with Isabelle and makes an offer Isabelle cannot refuse. For £250,000 give up escorting and only look after the needs of her son Sebastian.
The three people go on a massive journey of self-discovery with broken hearts, jealousy, guilt, judgment and love. It’s a huge rollercoaster of emotions whilst finding out reasons behind Isabelle’s escorting career and pain. Victoria has to find a way to get over her own prejudice ideas to let Isabelle in and find out the man that Sebastian becomes.
Wonderful book.
April 19, 2021
Wow! What a FABULOUS BOOK! The story of Sebastian, Isabelle & Veronica was written with such sensitivity. Everytime I hear the song Suddenly by Billy Ocean I will think of Sebby & ‘HoneyBee’. I loved the taxi driver Bob Fracklehurst! The bit at the river near the end had my heart pounding! This is one of the best books I have read this year & the story will stay with me forever. I think I might have found a new favourite author in Louise Beech.
‘This is how we are human.’
‘This is how we are human.’
July 4, 2021
Full review available at If These Books Could Talk as part of the promotional tour.
*deep breath* Sigh. How can I describe a book as stunningly beautiful as This Is How We Are Human? How do I summarise, without resorting to superfluous language, the complex relationships of its main characters? Can I do this novel justice without writing an opus of my own? The honest answer is – I don’t know. What is contained within Lousie Beech’s seventh novel is a tale of such emotional strength and fortitude that my only recommendation to you is to read it. Take an afternoon, shut off the world and lose yourself. I guarantee you will come out the other side with a fresh new take on life.
Sebastian James Murphy is twenty years, six months and two days old. He lives with his mum (who makes the best fried eggs in the world) loves to go swimming and adores pop hits from the 80s. Veronica is Sebastian’s mum, and she has devoted her life to his needs. Her son’s autism has meant she has had to fight every battle going. Be it against healthcare provision, education or bullies Veronica has found the strength to fight. There’s one issue that’s threatening to defeat her. Sebastian is twenty – and he has an insatiable sex drive.
Isabelle works as a high-class escort, earning money to pay not only her student fees but also for her dad’s medical care. Trapped in a spiralling situation she fears may swallow her, Isabelle loses herself as ‘Violetta’ her escort persona. But after a run of abusive and violent incidents, Isabelle is not sure how much more she can take.
I’d never read any of Louise Beech’s novels before so she is a totally new voice for me. But wow. What a voice it is. Everything in This Is How We Are Human feels so realistic and plausible that it’s hard to believe it’s not a biography. I work with many neurodivergent children and I can easily see them growing up into Sebastian. Kind, considerate, loving, but also frustrated and dismayed at what he cannot do, Sebastian is the true soul of the novel. This is mainly due to Beech choosing to switch the narrative to first-person solely for his chapters. I found this a real sign of respect for the character’s status. Not only does it mean that Sebastian’s voice and thoughts are his own, but it also adds credence to one of the central plot points throughout the book – the matter of consent.
All of the characters are beautifully written and their stories keep you invested all the way through. I recently read another novel where I found it hard to connect or like anyone involved. This Is How We Are Human was the polar opposite. Many a time I internally cheered at Sebastian’s forthrightness and honesty, held back a sob at Isabelle’s pain or felt anger and despair on Veronica’s behalf as she constantly felt helpless. Although there are other minor characters, this is truly a three-person story. The way Beech writes them as three parts of a whole is clever and emphasises the connectivity we have as humans.
This Is How We Are Human is an inspiring tale of courage, belief and comprehensively love. Each moment in the novel is raw with emotion – both positive and negative. Beech’s ability to inject the ‘unsaid’ into conversations and internal monologues is unsurpassed; not once do you ever feel like you are being hit with the ‘sledgehammer of sincerity’. To have a novel with such a sensitive subject matter and not be preached to requires an incredibly talented author. Thank goodness for Louise Beech.
*deep breath* Sigh. How can I describe a book as stunningly beautiful as This Is How We Are Human? How do I summarise, without resorting to superfluous language, the complex relationships of its main characters? Can I do this novel justice without writing an opus of my own? The honest answer is – I don’t know. What is contained within Lousie Beech’s seventh novel is a tale of such emotional strength and fortitude that my only recommendation to you is to read it. Take an afternoon, shut off the world and lose yourself. I guarantee you will come out the other side with a fresh new take on life.
Sebastian James Murphy is twenty years, six months and two days old. He lives with his mum (who makes the best fried eggs in the world) loves to go swimming and adores pop hits from the 80s. Veronica is Sebastian’s mum, and she has devoted her life to his needs. Her son’s autism has meant she has had to fight every battle going. Be it against healthcare provision, education or bullies Veronica has found the strength to fight. There’s one issue that’s threatening to defeat her. Sebastian is twenty – and he has an insatiable sex drive.
Isabelle works as a high-class escort, earning money to pay not only her student fees but also for her dad’s medical care. Trapped in a spiralling situation she fears may swallow her, Isabelle loses herself as ‘Violetta’ her escort persona. But after a run of abusive and violent incidents, Isabelle is not sure how much more she can take.
I’d never read any of Louise Beech’s novels before so she is a totally new voice for me. But wow. What a voice it is. Everything in This Is How We Are Human feels so realistic and plausible that it’s hard to believe it’s not a biography. I work with many neurodivergent children and I can easily see them growing up into Sebastian. Kind, considerate, loving, but also frustrated and dismayed at what he cannot do, Sebastian is the true soul of the novel. This is mainly due to Beech choosing to switch the narrative to first-person solely for his chapters. I found this a real sign of respect for the character’s status. Not only does it mean that Sebastian’s voice and thoughts are his own, but it also adds credence to one of the central plot points throughout the book – the matter of consent.
All of the characters are beautifully written and their stories keep you invested all the way through. I recently read another novel where I found it hard to connect or like anyone involved. This Is How We Are Human was the polar opposite. Many a time I internally cheered at Sebastian’s forthrightness and honesty, held back a sob at Isabelle’s pain or felt anger and despair on Veronica’s behalf as she constantly felt helpless. Although there are other minor characters, this is truly a three-person story. The way Beech writes them as three parts of a whole is clever and emphasises the connectivity we have as humans.
This Is How We Are Human is an inspiring tale of courage, belief and comprehensively love. Each moment in the novel is raw with emotion – both positive and negative. Beech’s ability to inject the ‘unsaid’ into conversations and internal monologues is unsurpassed; not once do you ever feel like you are being hit with the ‘sledgehammer of sincerity’. To have a novel with such a sensitive subject matter and not be preached to requires an incredibly talented author. Thank goodness for Louise Beech.
March 21, 2021
I used to think, because her subject matter is so diverse, with each book she writes, Louise Beech ‘reinvents’ herself. In fact, she does nothing of the sort. She stays the same and with each new plot simply creates a different magic. Her voice never changes, her compassion and her passion remain intact. Her storytelling and writing rock; her imagination soars.
This Is How We Are Human, tells the story of Veronica and her ‘darling’ boy, Sebastian. How, because she loves him and wants him to be happy, she enlists the help of Violetta, a high-class escort (who is also and really, Isabelle) in enabling Sebastian, autistic, lonely, twenty years, six months and two days old, to have sex.
What unfolds is a convincing, bittersweet tale of misplaced kindness, a myriad types of vulnerability, and unexpected consequences. Both Veronica and Isabelle are compelling characters who caught my heart and held it. They are tragic, appealing and courageous; flawed and finally honest. This last because of Sebastian. An engaging and authentically drawn character who, standing, running, swimming and marvellously existing around and between them, ultimately shines with his own sweet wisdom.
This book isn’t just a great read, it’s an important one. In addressing how autism impacts the life of this young man, the author asks us to question our possible prejudices and our understanding of autism across the board. She educates us. As Isabelle says, ‘The small print tells us all the things we don’t really want to know, the things we should know. I always read the small print.’
We need to read the small print, people. All the stars and more.
This Is How We Are Human, tells the story of Veronica and her ‘darling’ boy, Sebastian. How, because she loves him and wants him to be happy, she enlists the help of Violetta, a high-class escort (who is also and really, Isabelle) in enabling Sebastian, autistic, lonely, twenty years, six months and two days old, to have sex.
What unfolds is a convincing, bittersweet tale of misplaced kindness, a myriad types of vulnerability, and unexpected consequences. Both Veronica and Isabelle are compelling characters who caught my heart and held it. They are tragic, appealing and courageous; flawed and finally honest. This last because of Sebastian. An engaging and authentically drawn character who, standing, running, swimming and marvellously existing around and between them, ultimately shines with his own sweet wisdom.
This book isn’t just a great read, it’s an important one. In addressing how autism impacts the life of this young man, the author asks us to question our possible prejudices and our understanding of autism across the board. She educates us. As Isabelle says, ‘The small print tells us all the things we don’t really want to know, the things we should know. I always read the small print.’
We need to read the small print, people. All the stars and more.
May 26, 2025
such simple, heartbreakingly beautiful writing I absolutely loved this book!
April 7, 2021
If I could give this book 10 stars I would. What I love about Louise Beech's book is that they are all different but all so beautifully written. This one touched my soul and I didnt want it to end. Such memorable characters. Sebastian will stay with me for life I think. An incredibly moving portrait of love in all its forms. I cant wait to read Louise's next one.
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