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320 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 5, 2022
“...I need to feel in control. Being in control of myself is the most important factor to me feeling okay. If I don’t feel like me, true me, real me, then I feel out of sync with the world in a way that makes me feel like I might fall off the planet or stop breathing. I need to be grounded in my me-ness to exist, to keep going, to not get sucked into an am-I-good-enough-have-I-done-enough-will-I-ever-be-enough anxiety tornado. Being drunk would be messy, dangerous, out of control. My worst self might come out.”
“And when you’re holding a party, and you need to invite people to said party and be sure they actually show up in person, it’s like a friendship exam.”
‘Sorry, how many episodes are there?’
‘Twenty-two a season, give or take.’
‘And how many seasons are there?’
‘Eight.’
‘You rewatch all that every year?’
‘Well, no, I don’t rewatch every episode.’
‘Which ones do you watch?’
I look at him, in his glasses, looking eager to hear all about it, not realising this is my private ritual, one of my most soothing escapes, and the only person I’ve ever shared it with is Lauren.
‘Okay, so I have a system.’
‘Of course you do.’
‘I watch all of season one, and all of season two, which is the best season, then all of season three except for one particular episode that I hate, then the first part of season four and the final three episodes, then three episodes from season five, and then most of season six, and then two episodes each from seasons seven and eight.’
"I think that’s the first nice thing you’ve said to me. A compliment from Brooke.’ He sighs, put his hand on his heart. ‘Wow, wow, wow.’
‘It was hardly a compliment.’ Now I am flustered. I don’t like being accused of giving compliments. He knows about my favourite comfort show and my exploding cyst and I’ve now said something too nice, and the whole night is practically ruined because I am being exposed and he is not.
‘What was it then?’
‘I was just stating a fact.’
‘It’s a fact that I look good in glasses?’ His eyes are wide with delight.
‘I didn’t say that. But yes. Most guys do. And girls.’ He is not special. I like glasses. The right pair of glasses can elevate everyone.
‘I think that’s definitely a compliment.’
‘Well you are free to take it that way.’
‘I am going to.’
‘But just so you know, I don’t consider it to be. And as the compliment giver, I really should be the one to know.’
‘Noted. But it’s still going in my compliments journal.’
‘Go for it.’
‘It’s a journal I keep under my bed, and every day at the end of the day, I write down all the compliments I get. Then first thing in the morning, I wake up and read it.’
‘The sad thing is it could be true. You would do something like that. Because of the aforementioned big ego.’
‘Ah but you also admit that you think I’m charming and handsome enough to get the level of compliments required to keep a compliments journal.’
‘I admit nothing.’
‘Okay.’
"'Good,' he says. 'Because I am so in love with you.'"
"'I tell you I love you, and you let yourself be loved, and nothing bad happens.' His voice is soft but his eyes are burning and serious."

You expect so much of people, sometimes you can’t see the good parts because you’re dwelling on the ways they don’t live up to who you want them to be
I thought the story would matter more if the characters were older, with kids and houses and finances at stake, but maybe I’m wrong. Maybe it doesn’t need any of that