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Go the Way Your Blood Beats
When Emmett de Monterey is eighteen months old, a doctor diagnoses him with cerebral palsy. Words too heavy for his 25-year-old artist parents and their happy, smiling baby.Growing up in South East London in the 1980s, Emmett is spat at on the street and prayed over at church. At his mainstream school, teachers refuse to schedule his classes on the ground floor, and he loses a stone from the effort of getting up the stairs. At his Sixth Form College for disabled students, he's told he will be expelled if the rumours are true, if he's gay.And then Emmett is chosen for a first-of-its-kind surgery in America which he hopes will 'cure' him, enable him to walk unaided. He hopes for a to walk, to dance, to be able to leave the house when it rains. To have a body that's everyday beautiful, to hold hands in the street. But the 'miracle' doesn't occur, and Emmett must reckon with a world which views disabled people as invisible, unworthy of desire. He must fight to be seen.
288 pages, Hardcover
Published July 6, 2023
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May 11, 2023A frank and intimate memoir written with an incredible clear-eyed intensity.
May 2, 2024
I’m sitting here looking at a blank page, wondering how to word a review that does this frank and honest book justice.
Go The Way Your Blood Beats is a memoir, written by Emmett de Monterey.
The author’s story runs more or less in parallel to my own, Emmett being just a few years younger than me.
Emmett’s story starts with his premature birth, weighing a tiny 1lb 1oz. His survival seems miraculous, though after reading his memoir, I’m sure the author would not appreciate this terminology. We travel through his diagnosis with cerebral palsy, and his understanding and acceptance of being gay; the behaviour and attitudes of others in the brutal 1980s and 90s.
The very last page, when Emmett had brought his story up to date, made me gasp out loud. I find it makes me both sad, and incredibly angry that anyone can have thoughts such as these, let alone voice them out loud, in the age in which we live. I truly hope that that individual, is in a tiny minority, and that most of the world now possesses the emotional intelligence to understand that difference makes us neither less, or more than anyone else. The world would be a rather dull place if we were all replicas of each other.
The book is raw and intimate, showing his childhood experiences of, in Emmett’s own words, his “double difference”. As a reader, I felt so many emotions. I felt angry, sad, ashamed for the behaviour of general society, afraid for the author; while his first experience of Pride made me smile.
Emmett is painfully honest, brutally so in places. His strong voice is bold, brave and courageous. The book shows the resilience of human nature. To have encountered such narrow-minded and judgemental attitudes, and now to be happy and comfortable in your own skin, is to be celebrated.
Thank you for sharing your story so honestly Emmett, for shining a light on your experiences. I wish you nothing but the very best in your future. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
Go The Way Your Blood Beats is a memoir, written by Emmett de Monterey.
The author’s story runs more or less in parallel to my own, Emmett being just a few years younger than me.
Emmett’s story starts with his premature birth, weighing a tiny 1lb 1oz. His survival seems miraculous, though after reading his memoir, I’m sure the author would not appreciate this terminology. We travel through his diagnosis with cerebral palsy, and his understanding and acceptance of being gay; the behaviour and attitudes of others in the brutal 1980s and 90s.
The very last page, when Emmett had brought his story up to date, made me gasp out loud. I find it makes me both sad, and incredibly angry that anyone can have thoughts such as these, let alone voice them out loud, in the age in which we live. I truly hope that that individual, is in a tiny minority, and that most of the world now possesses the emotional intelligence to understand that difference makes us neither less, or more than anyone else. The world would be a rather dull place if we were all replicas of each other.
The book is raw and intimate, showing his childhood experiences of, in Emmett’s own words, his “double difference”. As a reader, I felt so many emotions. I felt angry, sad, ashamed for the behaviour of general society, afraid for the author; while his first experience of Pride made me smile.
Emmett is painfully honest, brutally so in places. His strong voice is bold, brave and courageous. The book shows the resilience of human nature. To have encountered such narrow-minded and judgemental attitudes, and now to be happy and comfortable in your own skin, is to be celebrated.
Thank you for sharing your story so honestly Emmett, for shining a light on your experiences. I wish you nothing but the very best in your future. 5⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
October 1, 2023
‘Go the Way Your Blood Beats’ is a memoir that is raw, unflinchingly honest, excellently written and everything a memoir should be. Emmett who has cerebral palsy and is gay explores his identity and also the identity that society puts on him due to how he is perceived. At times it is a difficult read as it doesn’t try to make the reader comfortable but instead does something more important and makes you look at the realities and how we get so much wrong through putting people who share various characteristics as a homogenous group who must only have one experience. As a disabled person I really liked how Emmett showed through his own experiences the social versus medical models of disability and both how things have changed over time and yet so many of the same prejudices remain. A book that will remain with me.
July 4, 2023
Go the Way Your Blood Beats is a beautifully-written memoir of growing up queer and disabled.
In wonderfully fluid prose, de Monterey charts his childhood through friendships, medical appointments, schools and first love. Honest and intimate, he is not afraid to grapple with painful memories, revealing how the pressures of an abelist, homophobic society impacted his own sense of identity. The microaggressions de Monterey describes make you realise just how devastating an impact these seemingly minor comments or actions can have, whether they are intentional or not.
There is also a charming sense of intimacy in the way de Monterey describes place and characters - particularly his loving-rendered family. There's an immediacy to the prose that sweeps you up in his story, and makes Go the Way Your Blood Beats a really engaging, emotive read.
*Thank you to Netgalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review*
In wonderfully fluid prose, de Monterey charts his childhood through friendships, medical appointments, schools and first love. Honest and intimate, he is not afraid to grapple with painful memories, revealing how the pressures of an abelist, homophobic society impacted his own sense of identity. The microaggressions de Monterey describes make you realise just how devastating an impact these seemingly minor comments or actions can have, whether they are intentional or not.
There is also a charming sense of intimacy in the way de Monterey describes place and characters - particularly his loving-rendered family. There's an immediacy to the prose that sweeps you up in his story, and makes Go the Way Your Blood Beats a really engaging, emotive read.
*Thank you to Netgalley for the arc in exchange for an honest review*
July 2, 2023
Disabled and gay this memoir is frank and moving. Realising it was set in 1980s London was a shock, attitudes of many have changed so much over such a short period of time. With liberal artist parents what em faces is a life with problems many would not consider, but his strength and determination sees him building a better future.
Whatever you identify as, consider reading this, as a story of hope and courage.
Whatever you identify as, consider reading this, as a story of hope and courage.
June 27, 2023
This is a memoir of growing up gay and disable in London of the 90’s. This book is very good I enjoy know Emmet life and story. This book is warmth and emotional, is such a intimate memoir that is so intense and so beautiful that could be one of my favourite memoirs this years. Is a solid ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ for me. I left this book feeling GREATFUL, heartbroken but this book is written beautiful and very poetic, big Shout out to the author for sharing this beautiful book with us. Thanks to NetGalley , the editor and the author for the ARC of this book in exchange of a Honest review
June 10, 2023
ARC REVIEW
‘Mum, why did you have me?’
She looked startled; her face clouding, wary. ‘Well, we
wanted a baby. We wanted you.
‘I hate you,’ I said quietly. ‘I wish you hadn’t.’
// ‘You should have got a better one, then. I’m useless, broken.’
This is an extraordinary memoire about growing up disabled and queer in the 80s. The writing is consistent, heartbreaking and gripping and I found myself completely hooked from the first few pages.
I cried, I laughed and I ached my way through it, as a queer disabled person, the authors accounts of his life struck me deep and I couldn't put it down.
I highly recommend reading this, out July 6th.
Thank you to Netgalley, Penguin General and Viking for the ARC.
‘Mum, why did you have me?’
She looked startled; her face clouding, wary. ‘Well, we
wanted a baby. We wanted you.
‘I hate you,’ I said quietly. ‘I wish you hadn’t.’
// ‘You should have got a better one, then. I’m useless, broken.’
This is an extraordinary memoire about growing up disabled and queer in the 80s. The writing is consistent, heartbreaking and gripping and I found myself completely hooked from the first few pages.
I cried, I laughed and I ached my way through it, as a queer disabled person, the authors accounts of his life struck me deep and I couldn't put it down.
I highly recommend reading this, out July 6th.
Thank you to Netgalley, Penguin General and Viking for the ARC.
April 7, 2023
I tired to read this story four times and every time I got a little farther in my heart kept breaking for Emmett, the stuff he was put through just for being born.
Knowing that he was able to get through it and find a way to be happy after all that is heartwarming, his fight to be recognised and treated fairly was powerful and moving
Knowing that he was able to get through it and find a way to be happy after all that is heartwarming, his fight to be recognised and treated fairly was powerful and moving
October 12, 2023
The was a gorgeous, unflinching memoir of growing up disabled and gay. The author progressed through his childhood as he struggled with the way his cerebral palsy limited his physical abilities, and the way this influenced his relationship with his body. Educational systems were stacked against him, either segregated in “special” schools or poorly served by a mainstream that refused to accommodate him, with people eventually viewing his experience as a failed experiment at integration. I really appreciated how he considered his CP through his individual experiences as well as through the social vs medical models of disability, showing that self-hatred doesn’t form in a vacuum.
His accounts of recognising his queerness while surrounded by homophobia—from his peers, teachers and family members—during the era of Section 28, when teachers were forbidden from speaking about queer issues and frequently did little to stymie homophobic bullying, was particularly painful to read given recent rising queerphobia in the UK. His account of his first Pride had me smiling through tears, it was heartening and bittersweet in turns.
The prose itself was straightforwardly beautiful. Most heartbreaking was the isolation that was painfully familiar — too queer for the disabled community, too disabled for the queer community, left belonging to neither. This memoir put me through many big emotions, not least anger at how little some things have changed. It will stay with me for a long time, and I’m going to be recommending it to everyone.
I received a free copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
His accounts of recognising his queerness while surrounded by homophobia—from his peers, teachers and family members—during the era of Section 28, when teachers were forbidden from speaking about queer issues and frequently did little to stymie homophobic bullying, was particularly painful to read given recent rising queerphobia in the UK. His account of his first Pride had me smiling through tears, it was heartening and bittersweet in turns.
The prose itself was straightforwardly beautiful. Most heartbreaking was the isolation that was painfully familiar — too queer for the disabled community, too disabled for the queer community, left belonging to neither. This memoir put me through many big emotions, not least anger at how little some things have changed. It will stay with me for a long time, and I’m going to be recommending it to everyone.
I received a free copy from NetGalley in return for an honest review.
July 9, 2023
Emmott de Monterey's memoir is a fabulous read that chronicles his journey of growing up disabled and gay in the 1980s and 90s. I was completely engrossed in this book and couldn't put it down. The author's storytelling is a perfect blend of moving, funny, and poignant moments that left a lasting impact.
His words flow effortlessly, drawing readers into his world with ease. His honesty and vulnerability create a deep connection, making it feel as if you're right there experiencing every emotion alongside him.
His story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit, inspiring readers to be more empathetic and understanding.
The author's talent as a writer is undeniable. His ability to craft a compelling narrative and reflect on his journey is truly remarkable. I eagerly anticipate future works from him, as his storytelling has left an indelible impression on me.
In conclusion, this is a deeply moving and thought-provoking memoir that explores the intersections of disability and sexuality. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking an authentic and heartfelt story that will stay with them long after they turn the final page.
His words flow effortlessly, drawing readers into his world with ease. His honesty and vulnerability create a deep connection, making it feel as if you're right there experiencing every emotion alongside him.
His story is a testament to the strength of the human spirit, inspiring readers to be more empathetic and understanding.
The author's talent as a writer is undeniable. His ability to craft a compelling narrative and reflect on his journey is truly remarkable. I eagerly anticipate future works from him, as his storytelling has left an indelible impression on me.
In conclusion, this is a deeply moving and thought-provoking memoir that explores the intersections of disability and sexuality. I highly recommend this book to anyone seeking an authentic and heartfelt story that will stay with them long after they turn the final page.
August 30, 2023
(DEUTSCH WEITER UNTEN)
I don’t think I can or want to say much.
In this memoir, Emmett de Monterey tells us what it was like growing up as a disabled queer kid in 1980s London. In clear, sometimes harsh and sometimes tender, words, he takes us on a journey that is his life and that he could not simply end to return to another (desired) one.
I cannot put my feelings into words ... I am just very grateful that I was able to read his memoir and that he shared his story with us.
(DEUTSCH)
Ich kann und will glaube gar nicht viel sagen.
Emmett de Monterey hat in diesem Memoir erzählt, wie es war als körperlich behindertes, queeres Kind in London der 1980er aufzuwachsen. Mit klaren, manchmal harten und manchmal zarten, Worten, nimmt er uns mit auf eine Reise, die sein Leben ist und die er nicht einfach beenden konnte, um in ein anderes (gewünschtes) Leben zurückzukehren.
Meine Gefühle kann ich nicht in Worte fassen ... ich bin einfach sehr dankbar, dass ich sein Memoir lesen durfte und das er seine Geschichte mit uns geteilt hat.
I don’t think I can or want to say much.
In this memoir, Emmett de Monterey tells us what it was like growing up as a disabled queer kid in 1980s London. In clear, sometimes harsh and sometimes tender, words, he takes us on a journey that is his life and that he could not simply end to return to another (desired) one.
I cannot put my feelings into words ... I am just very grateful that I was able to read his memoir and that he shared his story with us.
(DEUTSCH)
Ich kann und will glaube gar nicht viel sagen.
Emmett de Monterey hat in diesem Memoir erzählt, wie es war als körperlich behindertes, queeres Kind in London der 1980er aufzuwachsen. Mit klaren, manchmal harten und manchmal zarten, Worten, nimmt er uns mit auf eine Reise, die sein Leben ist und die er nicht einfach beenden konnte, um in ein anderes (gewünschtes) Leben zurückzukehren.
Meine Gefühle kann ich nicht in Worte fassen ... ich bin einfach sehr dankbar, dass ich sein Memoir lesen durfte und das er seine Geschichte mit uns geteilt hat.
May 18, 2023
It’s hard to find the words to truly do this book justice. Reading it has left me feeling at once moved, humbled, overjoyed and heartbroken. Not only is Emmett’s writing so incredibly beautiful - even poetic - his story is poignant and uplifting, and I commend his bravery for sharing it with the world. Stories like Emmett’s are the ones that so desperately need to be told, yet so rarely are. From coming to terms with his sexuality under Section 28 to navigating life as a disabled person in a fundamentally ableist society, it’s truly an honour to be given such a personal insight into Emmett’s experiences, which sadly remain so pertinent today. Truly the most powerful memoir I’ve ever read. The world needs this book🌈
February 29, 2024
This was a heart wrenching story that resonated with my own experience of growing up. I also didn't feel that I fitted in, sure, not to the extent that Emmett didn't but to a child the degrees of pain are irrelevant. Why I was different I am not sure but in inner London schools in the 60's 70's that didn't matter. The story is told not from a place of pity just how it was. I felt I could almost taste the pain, loneliness and frustration. The relief and joy at getting to the other side of growing up was palpable. I utterly recommend this book as a read that will make think deeply and allow you to recall your own experiences and perhaps re-frame them, releasing some of the pain.
July 12, 2023
Totally engrossing, Totally thought provoking, Totally unputdownable, beautifully written, every box has been ticked with this true gift of “Go The Way Your Blood Beats”, thank you Emmett ❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️
July 19, 2023
Essential and transformative for anyone and everyone. I love this book so much.
June 13, 2025
What a beautiful memoir. Funny, inspiring and heartbreaking with cola bottles to boot.
November 25, 2025
Loved. What a take on the life of a queer person with a disability. Fascinating and sad and joyful.
August 4, 2024
Emotional damage served in the most poetic way.
December 18, 2023
This is a gorgeous memoir of what it means to grow up-disabled, gay and briefly somewhat famous in 1980's London. De Monterey has a beautiful story telling style that completely draws you in. He talks about everything from what it was to have the cameras etc follow him around both before and just after what was suppose to be a life-alternating surgery, his relationship with his grandmother in the UK and his grandfather in the USA, what it meant for him to have to change school because the place that he gotten into wouldn't accommodate his needs, to coming to the slow realization that he's not just disabled, he's gay.
Overall this is a book written with a deep understanding of what it is to be human and to deal with limitations (especially other peoples) with grace. A fantastic debut and an absolutely gorgeous read.
Overall this is a book written with a deep understanding of what it is to be human and to deal with limitations (especially other peoples) with grace. A fantastic debut and an absolutely gorgeous read.
Displaying 1 - 19 of 19 reviews