So Close: Infertile and Addicted to Hope

by Tertia Loebenberg Albertyn

Meet, marry and make a That's how it's supposed to go, right? What happens when you start trying for a family ... and trying, and trying some more? How far do you go to achieve your dream of having children? So Close is the heart wrenching, exhilarating, devastatingly funny story of Tertia Albertyn's battle with infertility. Tertia wanted a baby so badly she went through nine IVFs. Most people give up after the third. I don't think I am being brave at all. I am just too terrified NOT to try again. In her worst nightmare she could never have imagined that making a baby would take her four years, each treatment bringing her and her husband Marko closer and closer to creating their family. During Tertia's journey everything that can go wrong does go wrong. Until, finally, everything goes just right. Tertia is as hilarious as she is irrepressible, as approachable as she is knowledgeable. If you are struggling with infertility, have triumphed over infertility or have felt empathy with someone who is going through this experience, you will find a friend in Tertia.

291 pages, Paperback

First published January 27, 2009

Reviews

[Chloe (Always Booked) · Rating 4 out of 5]

It feels weird to rate anyone's personal story-- especially one that is about such an emotional and vulnerable topic. My heart broke for this woman multiple times throughout the story and I found myself feeling her pain and disappointment each time. However, there are still some comedic moments throughout this book so its not all gloom and doom. She is able to get pregnant multiple times but it keeps ending in miscarriage and various things. She is the statistically anomaly more times than you'd think possible. Thankfully she FINALLY gets her happily ever after with round 10 (I think) of IVF. I just googled her and it looks like she actually got a surprise baby 5ish years later too! So great! I thought her husband was a huge jerk and she deserves better, but I'm happy this story ended happily. It provides hope even in the bleakest of circumstances.

[Heidi Hertzog · Rating 4 out of 5]

There is so much I would love to say about this book, but I have to get my thoughts in order. I know Teria's story as I have followed her blog since before she had her twins. Having traveled the same path to motherhood, I felt I could have written many of the same experiences and thoughts. But Tertia put them in true, unadulterated, honest and passionate emotion. God I cried reading this book. It brought back so many emotions I've tucked away, but that will always be there.

People talk about being a cancer survivor, I always talk about being an infertility survivor. It changes you in a way that will never allow you to be the person you were prior to this experience. Only another person struggling with infertility can EVER truly understand, but if you want to begin to understand, read this book.

[Courtney Featherstone · Rating 2 out of 5]

I did not finish this. As hard as it is to rate someone’s life story this one was a flop for me. I struggled with how she portrayed her husband and how often she seemed alone on this endeavor to keep him from experiencing any displeasure. Sometimes the writing felt jumbled. I found myself skipping heaps of pages and decided I was just done with it. Infertility isn’t a stranger to me as I am 11 years into infertility with many failed treatments and no baby to show for it. I often found myself feeling frustration with her overwhelmingly negative view towards Down syndrome. Her utter reluctance towards using a donor egg were centered on how the lack of biology would affect HER as the child grows and not the child. Flippant, kind of selfish, and a bit of a man hater.

[Jeanette · Rating 5 out of 5]

I literally could not put this book down. I wish that I had read it years ago when I was on my infertility journey. She goes through so much- reading her stories of loss, insanity, anger, helplessness, determination- everything brought me back. Everyone on the infertility journey or who knows someone on that journey should read this. It is a story of loss but a story of hope and love. I cried a few times, but ended the book with a heart full of love, gratitude and hope.

[Rosmary · Rating 5 out of 5]

Loved this memoir! I could relate to a lot of her situations and feelings especially with the losses and depression feeling. But also of the hope and not giving up. Happy she got her happy ending after all she went through.

[Mapaseka · Rating 4 out of 5]

Her blog is as hilarious as her book. Finished it in a week.
Her FB updates on raising the kids now is very raw and honest. She doesn't pretend that after all the struggles she went through to be a parent, it is now automatically heaven. She shares without censorship.

[Katie]

Well written, true to the heart, amazing read!

I couldn't put this down! What an amazing story. Every emotion and word was to a T. Even with not going through IVF, I felt connected to Tertia. Happy I read this and will recommend to others!

[Handri Mattheus · Rating 5 out of 5]

Anyone going through infertility should read this book! Truely a book giving hope to those women desperate to be a mom. Tertia, thank you!

[Ari · Rating 4 out of 5]

Fast read, but hard to read. First because it felt a bit all over the place, second because wow was this author tough.

[Rayne Alexander · Rating 5 out of 5]

Amazing!!!!!!

[Rajalakshmi · Rating 5 out of 5]

It is unfair to give anything less than 5 stars on a book that recounts Tertia and Marko's trials and tribulations, describes thier strength and the struggles to keep the faith, be positive and keep moving fwd despite setbacks or challenges. Small smiles from time to time. Well written and gripping. My heart goes out to them from time to time. Definitely, TRIGGER warning! Especially for readers who may be going through the process themselves. Because the beautiful journey to motherhood through IVF can be anxiety and fear driven, as it is. And hearsays n stories from others may exaggerate the emotions. But, it is still a must read for everyone coz its book of strength, perseverance, hope and seeing light at the end of the tunnel!

[Tiah]

A worthy read whether you have experienced issues with fertility or not. In fact, I would say it is even more important to have read this book if you have never dealt with infertility as it gives such insight into how rude and unintentionally hurtful many people are when confronted with friend or family dealing with infertility.

The book is emotional and frank. The writing might not exactly be prose, but the raw honesty combined with humor make it an enjoyable and easy read.

She has recently self-published this book through Amazon, making it available to people in America. I really encourage people to buy it. It is an unforgettable story.

[Trisha DeBoer · Rating 5 out of 5]

With the explosion of infertility around us (it's estimated that 1 in 7 couples has trouble conceiving), this book is important, regardless of whether you're an infertile or not. It has A LOT of helpful information for fertile people, and how to go about being a good friend to someone you love who is struggling to have a baby.

Tertia drops the F-bomb A LOT, so if that sort of thing offends you, you might want to avoid this book.

Also, she went through NINE IVF cycles, and some of them were positive before the one where she brought her twins home...SO, there is some real life, heavy-duty stuff in here. This isn't always a feel good read. But, like I said, I think it's important.

[Cindy · Rating 5 out of 5]

An absolute must read for anyone struggling with fertility as well as anyone caring enough to understand what their infertile friends and family are going through. Tertia speaks to all readers on all levels. Finished the book in a day, I never laughed and cried with an author so much. Thank you, Tertia.

[Krissi Marie · Rating 5 out of 5]

Check out my review here: http://stressfreeinfertilityblog.com/...