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Девять жизней Роуз Наполитано (Романы МИФ. Один момент — целая жизнь)
A deeply moving novel about a woman who thought she never wanted to be a mother—and the many ways that life can surprise us.
Rose Napolitano is fighting with her husband, Luke, about prenatal vitamins. She promised she’d take them, but didn’t. He promised before they got married that he’d never want children, but now he’s changed his mind. Their marriage has come to rest on this one question: Can Rose find it in herself to become a mother? Rose is a successful professor and academic. She’s never wanted to have a child. The fight ends, and with it their marriage.
But then, Rose has a fight with Luke about the vitamins–again. This time the fight goes slightly differently, and so does Rose’s future as she grapples with whether she can indeed give up the one thing she thought she knew about herself. Can she reimagine her life in a completely new way? That reimagining plays out again and again in each of Rose’s nine lives, just as it does for each of us as we grow into adulthood. What are the consequences of our biggest choices? How would life change if we let go of our preconceived ideas of ourselves and became someone completely new? Rose Napolitano’s experience of choosing and then choosing again shows us in an utterly compelling way what it means, literally, to reinvent a life and, sometimes, become a different kind of woman than we ever imagined.
A stunning novel about love, loss, betrayal, divorce, death, a woman’s career and her identity, The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano is about finding one’s way into a future that wasn’t the future one planned, and the ways that fate intercedes when we least expect it.
Rose Napolitano is fighting with her husband, Luke, about prenatal vitamins. She promised she’d take them, but didn’t. He promised before they got married that he’d never want children, but now he’s changed his mind. Their marriage has come to rest on this one question: Can Rose find it in herself to become a mother? Rose is a successful professor and academic. She’s never wanted to have a child. The fight ends, and with it their marriage.
But then, Rose has a fight with Luke about the vitamins–again. This time the fight goes slightly differently, and so does Rose’s future as she grapples with whether she can indeed give up the one thing she thought she knew about herself. Can she reimagine her life in a completely new way? That reimagining plays out again and again in each of Rose’s nine lives, just as it does for each of us as we grow into adulthood. What are the consequences of our biggest choices? How would life change if we let go of our preconceived ideas of ourselves and became someone completely new? Rose Napolitano’s experience of choosing and then choosing again shows us in an utterly compelling way what it means, literally, to reinvent a life and, sometimes, become a different kind of woman than we ever imagined.
A stunning novel about love, loss, betrayal, divorce, death, a woman’s career and her identity, The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano is about finding one’s way into a future that wasn’t the future one planned, and the ways that fate intercedes when we least expect it.
353 pages, Kindle Edition
First published April 6, 2021
376 people are currently reading
15331 people want to read
About the author
Donna Freitas
34 books642 followersDonna Freitas is the author of The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano, Consent: A Memoir of Unwanted Attention, and many other novels and nonfiction books for adults, children, and young adults. Her latest YA novel is a rom-com that takes place in her favorite city, Barcelona: Stefi and the Spanish Prince. She has been featured on NPR and The Today Show, and her writing has appeared in The New York Times, The Washington Post, and The LA Times, among many other places. Donna currently serves on the faculty at Fairleigh Dickinson University’s MFA program. She also lives half the year in Barcelona where she loves partaking of its many bakeries and delicious restaurants galore. Learn more about Donna at www.donnafreitas.com and on Substack: https://donnafreitas.substack.com.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 1,397 reviews
June 16, 2021
I liked this one because of the subject. As a woman who has chosen not to be a mother, I appreciated the author's attempt to examine the reasons a woman may have for choosing a life path that does not include motherhood--even when family, friends, and society as a whole seem hell-bent on the idea that every woman is truly destined to be a mother--even if she doesn't realize it.
Unfortunately, it seems to me that Frietas failed a bit in her attempt. Because in the end--unless I missed something--Rose Napolitan0--the woman who doesn't want to become a mother--becomes a mother in some way in every one of the nine lives described in the book. (Only one life ends without a happy ending. But even in that life, Rose has a baby. SPOILER ALERT: She just doesn't have time to regret the decision.)
And so, the book ends with the idea that motherhood changes a woman's life in many different ways, but all, apparently, for the best. So it seems as if the moral of Fritas's story is--Every woman should become a mother to someone--either through birth or association--because it will always be a fulfilling experience. While I sincerely hope that every woman who does become a mother sees that role as a fulfilling experience, I'm here to tell you that it is possible for a woman to feel perfectly happy and fulfilled in life without being a mother.
(I also suspect there are some women who regret the choice of motherhood--even if they love their children--but that's another issue.)
I also think Freitas fell short of her attempt to examine several reasons for choosing to be childless. Rose is primarily described as a career-driven feminist who feels that becoming a mother would hinder her career and mean giving up a core part of who she is. Both are good reasons--but they aren't the only reasons. In my experience, too many people seem to assume that a woman who doesn't want to be a mother is a selfish, career-driven person who simply doesn't like children. So, I am also here to tell you that is not always the case. Some of us know there is more to life than making a living and aren't interested at all in climbing any corporate ladders. We have great respect for children and might even love a few of them. We just have very thoughtful, responsible reasons for our decision not to become mothers.
Unfortunately, it seems to me that Frietas failed a bit in her attempt. Because in the end--unless I missed something--Rose Napolitan0--the woman who doesn't want to become a mother--becomes a mother in some way in every one of the nine lives described in the book. (Only one life ends without a happy ending. But even in that life, Rose has a baby. SPOILER ALERT: She just doesn't have time to regret the decision.)
And so, the book ends with the idea that motherhood changes a woman's life in many different ways, but all, apparently, for the best. So it seems as if the moral of Fritas's story is--Every woman should become a mother to someone--either through birth or association--because it will always be a fulfilling experience. While I sincerely hope that every woman who does become a mother sees that role as a fulfilling experience, I'm here to tell you that it is possible for a woman to feel perfectly happy and fulfilled in life without being a mother.
(I also suspect there are some women who regret the choice of motherhood--even if they love their children--but that's another issue.)
I also think Freitas fell short of her attempt to examine several reasons for choosing to be childless. Rose is primarily described as a career-driven feminist who feels that becoming a mother would hinder her career and mean giving up a core part of who she is. Both are good reasons--but they aren't the only reasons. In my experience, too many people seem to assume that a woman who doesn't want to be a mother is a selfish, career-driven person who simply doesn't like children. So, I am also here to tell you that is not always the case. Some of us know there is more to life than making a living and aren't interested at all in climbing any corporate ladders. We have great respect for children and might even love a few of them. We just have very thoughtful, responsible reasons for our decision not to become mothers.
November 20, 2021
What a slap in the face to women who are childfree by choice. This was marketed as written "to the women who’ve never wanted children, who society and culture have made to feel broken, and small, and less than" per the author. And I loved Donna Freitas' Consent, so was very excited to pick up this novel. Before I rant, there were a few very tender moments between the main character in adulthood and her own mother; clearly this book was meant as some kind of repair or apology to the author's deceased mother and I wish her plotline stuck to that...because anything would have fared better than this disgrace to women who are child-free by choice and/or ambivalent about parenting. Not only is there not a single version of the protagonist who is still child-free by the end, in moments when she is child-free (~20% of the book) she's "happy with work, fine with singleness", not exuberant or loving life, until she is partnered with the man she had an affair with and then everything's better. God forbid a woman be happy alone and/or without kids. Is this the model those of us are child-free by choice have to look to? Shameful. The book is also a slap in the face to people who 1) experience infertility and/or miscarriage, 2) are otherwise child-free not by choice, 3) don't have privilege and therefore have children they don't want or are ambivalent about, 4) don't have supportive parents, regardless of personal decisions about marriage and children, and 5) had a partner who engaged in adultery. I don't feel small or less than or broken; instead I feel angry at an author and academic who calls herself a feminist. Donna Freitas, your novel only perpetuates the heteronormative nonsense that all women - no matter our personal beliefs, goals, dreams - experience about what others think we should do with our bodies.
October 8, 2021
This under the radar gem is phenomenal and one that I would love to discuss with other women. It would make for an excellent book club book.
The ending and note from the author hit especially close to home. I miss my Mom so much. I miss getting to know her as an adult. I miss asking her questions about who she was before and after I was born. I just miss her.
I listened to this on audio and loved the narration - don’t be afraid of keeping all the lives straight (not really the point). I believe the narrator also narrated Songs in Ursa Major which I also enjoyed recently.
“This question of motherhood, of if I will become one, and if so when, and what if I don’t become one, then what, all of them intimately laced into who I am as a woman, if I am a good or bad woman, a fulfilled or unfulfilled one, selfish or selfless, happy or not, and all of this tied up in marriage, work, divorce— it’s formed one enormously heavy boulder. I’ve been carrying it for years, dragging it, shoving it, a shapely Sisyphus in heels, in running shoes, in work clothes, in pajamas and jeans.”
The ending and note from the author hit especially close to home. I miss my Mom so much. I miss getting to know her as an adult. I miss asking her questions about who she was before and after I was born. I just miss her.
I listened to this on audio and loved the narration - don’t be afraid of keeping all the lives straight (not really the point). I believe the narrator also narrated Songs in Ursa Major which I also enjoyed recently.
“This question of motherhood, of if I will become one, and if so when, and what if I don’t become one, then what, all of them intimately laced into who I am as a woman, if I am a good or bad woman, a fulfilled or unfulfilled one, selfish or selfless, happy or not, and all of this tied up in marriage, work, divorce— it’s formed one enormously heavy boulder. I’ve been carrying it for years, dragging it, shoving it, a shapely Sisyphus in heels, in running shoes, in work clothes, in pajamas and jeans.”
February 2, 2025
Жінка, яка не хоче дітей. Що відбувається, коли вона відкрито заявляє про це? Які можуть бути наслідки її вибору? Саме цю тему досліджує Донна Фрейтас у романі «Дев'ять життів Роуз Наполітано». #прочитала
«Я сподіваюся, що читачі, особливо жінки, незалежно від того, як вони ставляться до питання мати чи не мати дітей, знайдуть у цій книзі відображення своїх переживань. Це роман про вибір жінок, про те, як суспільство чинить тиск на всіх жінок у питанні материнства, незалежно від їхнього рішення. Тому я дуже хочу вірити, що мені вдалося правдиво передати розмаїття досвідів тих, хто читатиме цю книгу», — каже авторка.
Роуз Наполітано ніколи не хотіла дітей. Вона знала це з дитинства і завжди відповідала відвертим «Ні» всім, хто запитував, коли ж вона нарешті стане матір’ю. Вона будувала кар’єру, здобула докторську ступінь, але все одно стикалася з припущенням, що тільки материнство зробить її по-справжньому щасливою. Спочатку її чоловік, Люк, погоджується з її вибором, але згодом змінює свою думку. І починається тиск. З боку чоловіка, його батьків, суспільства. Люк щоразу ставить Роуз перед вибором, критикуючи її за те, що вона не приймає вітаміни. Із цього моменту розгортаються різні сценарії її життя: що буде, якщо вона поступиться? Що буде, якщо ні? Хто піде першим – вона чи він?
Книга вражає своєю реалістичністю. Розмови, які ведуть Роуз і Люк, — це відображення діалогів, які ведуть у реальному житті тисячі жінок зі своїми партнерами. Незалежно від того, чи мають вони дітей, чи планують, чи категорично не хочуть ставати матерями — суспільний тиск залишається нестерпним. Жінок змушують виправдовуватися, пояснювати, переконувати, навіть тоді, коли це не має стосуватися нікого, крім них самих. До того, її бажання не сприймають всерйоз, навіть коли вона чітко й однозначно говорить: «Ні, я цього не хочу».
Ця книга не про правильний чи неправильний вибір. Вона про те, що вибір має належати жінці. Про те, що материнство — це не обов’язок, не доля, не обов’язкова умова жіночого щастя. Це книга, яка змушує сперечатися, дискутувати, ставити питання.
Мене вразило. Я багато чого переглянула у своєму розумінні материнстві.
«Я сподіваюся, що читачі, особливо жінки, незалежно від того, як вони ставляться до питання мати чи не мати дітей, знайдуть у цій книзі відображення своїх переживань. Це роман про вибір жінок, про те, як суспільство чинить тиск на всіх жінок у питанні материнства, незалежно від їхнього рішення. Тому я дуже хочу вірити, що мені вдалося правдиво передати розмаїття досвідів тих, хто читатиме цю книгу», — каже авторка.
Роуз Наполітано ніколи не хотіла дітей. Вона знала це з дитинства і завжди відповідала відвертим «Ні» всім, хто запитував, коли ж вона нарешті стане матір’ю. Вона будувала кар’єру, здобула докторську ступінь, але все одно стикалася з припущенням, що тільки материнство зробить її по-справжньому щасливою. Спочатку її чоловік, Люк, погоджується з її вибором, але згодом змінює свою думку. І починається тиск. З боку чоловіка, його батьків, суспільства. Люк щоразу ставить Роуз перед вибором, критикуючи її за те, що вона не приймає вітаміни. Із цього моменту розгортаються різні сценарії її життя: що буде, якщо вона поступиться? Що буде, якщо ні? Хто піде першим – вона чи він?
Книга вражає своєю реалістичністю. Розмови, які ведуть Роуз і Люк, — це відображення діалогів, які ведуть у реальному житті тисячі жінок зі своїми партнерами. Незалежно від того, чи мають вони дітей, чи планують, чи категорично не хочуть ставати матерями — суспільний тиск залишається нестерпним. Жінок змушують виправдовуватися, пояснювати, переконувати, навіть тоді, коли це не має стосуватися нікого, крім них самих. До того, її бажання не сприймають всерйоз, навіть коли вона чітко й однозначно говорить: «Ні, я цього не хочу».
Ця книга не про правильний чи неправильний вибір. Вона про те, що вибір має належати жінці. Про те, що материнство — це не обов’язок, не доля, не обов’язкова умова жіночого щастя. Це книга, яка змушує сперечатися, дискутувати, ставити питання.
Мене вразило. Я багато чого переглянула у своєму розумінні материнстві.
May 20, 2021
This book genuinely brought me to tears, and in a good way. I think Rose's relationship with her mother (and how this relates to her relationship with Addie) is the best part of this book. And so really, really got to me!
Unfortunately, although there are a couple good scenes like these, I overall didn't like this book that much. It appears to set out to explore different choices Rose could make in regards to motherhood and her relationship with her husband: whether she wants to be a mother or not, whether she wants to save her marriage or not. But by the end of the book, .
What is Freitas trying to say about motherhood here? Because I thought, initially, she was trying to say that women shouldn't be pressured into being mothers, and that not wanting to have children is perfectly fine, but the way she ends this book does not support that idea, so I'm honestly at a loss.
Additionally, Rose's personality is just somewhat lacking? It ALL centers around whether she does or does not want children. I swear. She is a PROFESSOR and teaching/research is HER LIFE and you know what she does a research project on in this book? The only research project of hers that is mentioned? On women that don't want to have babies. I would respect that in real life but in this book, it just makes one more part of her life center around her fascination with the question of baby-having. What is she like outside of Addie, or the desire to not get pregnant? We don't really know. I mean, she drinks wine when she's not pregnant, and we know her family members, but aside from that...
That said, this book still did almost make me cry, so there's that! It certainly does have its moments.
Unfortunately, although there are a couple good scenes like these, I overall didn't like this book that much. It appears to set out to explore different choices Rose could make in regards to motherhood and her relationship with her husband: whether she wants to be a mother or not, whether she wants to save her marriage or not. But by the end of the book, .
What is Freitas trying to say about motherhood here? Because I thought, initially, she was trying to say that women shouldn't be pressured into being mothers, and that not wanting to have children is perfectly fine, but the way she ends this book does not support that idea, so I'm honestly at a loss.
Additionally, Rose's personality is just somewhat lacking? It ALL centers around whether she does or does not want children. I swear. She is a PROFESSOR and teaching/research is HER LIFE and you know what she does a research project on in this book? The only research project of hers that is mentioned? On women that don't want to have babies. I would respect that in real life but in this book, it just makes one more part of her life center around her fascination with the question of baby-having. What is she like outside of Addie, or the desire to not get pregnant? We don't really know. I mean, she drinks wine when she's not pregnant, and we know her family members, but aside from that...
That said, this book still did almost make me cry, so there's that! It certainly does have its moments.
December 16, 2023
I picked this book up after hearing about it on a podcast episode celebrating being childfree. I liked the novel’s various messages about the pressure women and people face to have children, as well as how having children can potentially lead to dissatisfaction with one’s life. The Nine Lives of Rose Napolitano also attempts a unique narrative form where we see nine different ways the main character’s life could have played out.
Unfortunately the writing itself left a lot to be desired. Clumsy turns of phrase, clunky similes, emotions described awkwardly – it felt difficult to immerse myself in the narrative because of the prose. Still, I respect Donna Freitas for the book’s themes and for trying something a bit experimental.
Unfortunately the writing itself left a lot to be desired. Clumsy turns of phrase, clunky similes, emotions described awkwardly – it felt difficult to immerse myself in the narrative because of the prose. Still, I respect Donna Freitas for the book’s themes and for trying something a bit experimental.
April 2, 2021
I have a feeling this book is going to be very popular because it will resonant with so many women. Reading this book I went from rage to sadness to many times, and even at the end I wasn't left with a satisfying conclusion, but I LOVED this book.
Freitas takes the multiple lives story plot to a whole new level in this book. I loved the way each chapter gave you a date and which lives of Rose were involved. I think when "Rose Live 4" came around is when this book crushed me deeply. I had so much rage I had to put this down and walk away or I would have thrown my device.
Rose Napolitano has never wanted kids, she has known this her whole life. She has told everyone and anyone that asks when she's going to have a baby (because she'll only be satisfied in life when she has a baby, and not the PhD or successful career she has...) and her answer has always been Never. No. Not going to happen. Then Luke comes along, and Luke says he understands, he doesn't want kids, he won't ever want kids, until they're a few years into marriage and "Whoops, I changed my mind." Luke receives pressure from his parents, and so instead of being a man and standing up for his wife, instead of telling his wife he understands her and won't ever force her to do something she has never wanted, each life starts with Luke holding a bottle of prenatal vitamins criticizing Rose for not taking them. Every life then divides from this point, does she take the pills, does she have a baby, does he leave, does she leave, etc... The discussions they have in this book, the feelings that Rose has, are feelings and conversations I have heard and had with many women who don't want to have babies, and what do they do with their marriage when they get to this point. This was so realistic and so accurate and the fact that there are no conversations between Rose and Luke where he understands feels so correct, because "what are women/wives for except to have babies".
This was so good, and so realistic and I don't know if I can ever read it again because of the anger I felt, but because so often women are only allowed to be a breeding center and not an actual person.
Copy provided by NetGalley and publisher.
Freitas takes the multiple lives story plot to a whole new level in this book. I loved the way each chapter gave you a date and which lives of Rose were involved. I think when "Rose Live 4" came around is when this book crushed me deeply. I had so much rage I had to put this down and walk away or I would have thrown my device.
Rose Napolitano has never wanted kids, she has known this her whole life. She has told everyone and anyone that asks when she's going to have a baby (because she'll only be satisfied in life when she has a baby, and not the PhD or successful career she has...) and her answer has always been Never. No. Not going to happen. Then Luke comes along, and Luke says he understands, he doesn't want kids, he won't ever want kids, until they're a few years into marriage and "Whoops, I changed my mind." Luke receives pressure from his parents, and so instead of being a man and standing up for his wife, instead of telling his wife he understands her and won't ever force her to do something she has never wanted, each life starts with Luke holding a bottle of prenatal vitamins criticizing Rose for not taking them. Every life then divides from this point, does she take the pills, does she have a baby, does he leave, does she leave, etc... The discussions they have in this book, the feelings that Rose has, are feelings and conversations I have heard and had with many women who don't want to have babies, and what do they do with their marriage when they get to this point. This was so realistic and so accurate and the fact that there are no conversations between Rose and Luke where he understands feels so correct, because "what are women/wives for except to have babies".
This was so good, and so realistic and I don't know if I can ever read it again because of the anger I felt, but because so often women are only allowed to be a breeding center and not an actual person.
Copy provided by NetGalley and publisher.
May 2, 2021
I did not enjoy this book. It wasn't bad, but it just was not something that worked for me for a couple different reasons. The first reason it didn't work for me is I did not enjoy Donna Freitas's writing. There were way too many simple and unnecessary similes, and there were certain words/phrases that were used over and over and over to the point where I never want to see those words (e.g. rifling) used in a piece of writing again. It was also really dramatic in certain parts where it didn't need to be dramatic, or at least that I didn't feel needed to be dramatic. Overall, the book just felt like it was trying really hard to be this deep, inspiring, artful piece but came across to me as melodramatic and mediocre.
The second--and biggest--reason that it didn't work for me is that Rose was neither likeable nor relatable... The idea of exploring different lives based on decisions made at a certain point was really interesting to me; I often think a lot about how my own life would be different if I had made different decisions. I also related a lot to the concept of Rose as a woman who doesn't want children but is being pressured by others to have children. But in execution I did not relate to Rose at all. I didn't find her a particularly likeable character, which I think was partially because I got a very "I'm not like other women" vibe from her even though there were specific scenes when Rose would explicitly think "well, maybe I'm not so different from the other women". There was also a lot of self-pitying throughout the entire book, and she just came across as very whiny and blaming other people for the problems in her life. Maybe because I haven't been through a divorce/failed relationship like that I just won't understand. But it just did not make Rose relatable or likeable to me, and, being such a character driven book, I needed to like or relate to the main character a lot more than I did.
On the other hand, a lot of the supporting characters were great, and they were the ones that I ended up finishing the book for. Rose's parents were great, and I actually really loved Thomas. They felt like real and multifaceted people that could actually exist, and I found myself caring a lot about them. There were also some lovely moments between Rose and her mother that I feel would be relatable to most women in their own relationships with their mothers. And I thought that the structure of the book was really well thought out, and the ending was as satisfying as it could be for me.
So my critiques are subjective, of course, and may not be the case for you, so I recommend that you read other reviews and just try it out for yourself. I think that, if you are able to find something relatable and/or likeable about Rose, this may be a really good book for you.
The second--and biggest--reason that it didn't work for me is that Rose was neither likeable nor relatable... The idea of exploring different lives based on decisions made at a certain point was really interesting to me; I often think a lot about how my own life would be different if I had made different decisions. I also related a lot to the concept of Rose as a woman who doesn't want children but is being pressured by others to have children. But in execution I did not relate to Rose at all. I didn't find her a particularly likeable character, which I think was partially because I got a very "I'm not like other women" vibe from her even though there were specific scenes when Rose would explicitly think "well, maybe I'm not so different from the other women". There was also a lot of self-pitying throughout the entire book, and she just came across as very whiny and blaming other people for the problems in her life. Maybe because I haven't been through a divorce/failed relationship like that I just won't understand. But it just did not make Rose relatable or likeable to me, and, being such a character driven book, I needed to like or relate to the main character a lot more than I did.
On the other hand, a lot of the supporting characters were great, and they were the ones that I ended up finishing the book for. Rose's parents were great, and I actually really loved Thomas. They felt like real and multifaceted people that could actually exist, and I found myself caring a lot about them. There were also some lovely moments between Rose and her mother that I feel would be relatable to most women in their own relationships with their mothers. And I thought that the structure of the book was really well thought out, and the ending was as satisfying as it could be for me.
So my critiques are subjective, of course, and may not be the case for you, so I recommend that you read other reviews and just try it out for yourself. I think that, if you are able to find something relatable and/or likeable about Rose, this may be a really good book for you.
March 13, 2025
Важко описати простими словами, що я відчуваю до цієї книги.
В мене був і гнів і нерозуміння, шалене співчуття, сум, радість і розчарування.
Дуже суб'єктивно вважаю, що цей роман варто прочитати кожній жінці, бо думки та діалоги на його сторінках настільки реалістичні, що інколи здається, наче вирвані з твого власного життя.
В мене був і гнів і нерозуміння, шалене співчуття, сум, радість і розчарування.
Дуже суб'єктивно вважаю, що цей роман варто прочитати кожній жінці, бо думки та діалоги на його сторінках настільки реалістичні, що інколи здається, наче вирвані з твого власного життя.
May 2, 2025
Насправді дуже хороша та чесна книга🩵 про некомфортне, табуйоване - мати чи не мати дітей, не хотіти їх чи хотіти. От прям щиро вийшло і дуже жіночоцентрично 🫶
мені дуже жаль, що були ті читачі/читачки, яких ця книга образила, але цей рейтинг взагалі не відповідає дійсності
мені дуже жаль, що були ті читачі/читачки, яких ця книга образила, але цей рейтинг взагалі не відповідає дійсності
May 5, 2021
When Rose got married, she thought her husband understood she didn't want to have children. The nine versions of Rose in this story start with the same scene - an argument over prenatal vitamins, and follow different paths. It really explores the pressure women face from all sides, what motherhood takes, what relationships take and how people change over time - or don't.
The author includes the version(s) of Rose before each section (since some overlap) but I didn't feel too caught up in keeping the distinctions between the versions straight. They all felt possible. And she could have written it as a choose your own adventure tale.
The author includes the version(s) of Rose before each section (since some overlap) but I didn't feel too caught up in keeping the distinctions between the versions straight. They all felt possible. And she could have written it as a choose your own adventure tale.
January 27, 2022
Nope nope nope.
Rose is a married academic who doesn’t want children. This book follows 9 possible outcomes from a conversation between her and her husband discussing the decision to have or not have children.
This is a very difficult trope to pull off - the multiple possible lives. The author does a great job of this and writes each one convincingly and clearly. I honestly didn’t get too confused, although I certainly couldn’t tell you now what happened in each numbered life.
The problem, at least for me, comes in the characters and the premise. (Spoiler alerts ahead). Rose is a singularly unlikeable character - whiny, selfish, unkind, unfaithful, and unforgiving. Her husband doesn’t respect her wishes and doesn’t have the backbone to stand up for her. Her eventual love interest is not compelling - nothing special about him. Luke and Rose’s marriage is unhappy, lacking in communication, and overwhelmed by rampant infidelity. I just don’t want to read about that.
The biggest problem, however, is that this seems to be a book that wants to celebrate women who are child free by choice, which is GREAT, but in none of the nine lives does she end up child free by choice and things work out for her. So it ends up perpetuating the idea that you have to have kids to be happy, and shit, even if you have kids, it’s still going to suck. So actually not a great feminist book after all. Maybe I missed something big, but I couldn’t wait to finish it and move on from all the drama. Why couldn’t we just have a book where a woman makes a choice to not have children and people respect her and she has a lovely life?
Rose is a married academic who doesn’t want children. This book follows 9 possible outcomes from a conversation between her and her husband discussing the decision to have or not have children.
This is a very difficult trope to pull off - the multiple possible lives. The author does a great job of this and writes each one convincingly and clearly. I honestly didn’t get too confused, although I certainly couldn’t tell you now what happened in each numbered life.
The problem, at least for me, comes in the characters and the premise. (Spoiler alerts ahead). Rose is a singularly unlikeable character - whiny, selfish, unkind, unfaithful, and unforgiving. Her husband doesn’t respect her wishes and doesn’t have the backbone to stand up for her. Her eventual love interest is not compelling - nothing special about him. Luke and Rose’s marriage is unhappy, lacking in communication, and overwhelmed by rampant infidelity. I just don’t want to read about that.
The biggest problem, however, is that this seems to be a book that wants to celebrate women who are child free by choice, which is GREAT, but in none of the nine lives does she end up child free by choice and things work out for her. So it ends up perpetuating the idea that you have to have kids to be happy, and shit, even if you have kids, it’s still going to suck. So actually not a great feminist book after all. Maybe I missed something big, but I couldn’t wait to finish it and move on from all the drama. Why couldn’t we just have a book where a woman makes a choice to not have children and people respect her and she has a lovely life?
March 30, 2021
Interesting story. I like the idea of what if...what if one different choice was made? What would life look like? This book definitely entertains that type of imagination. Keep notes to keep you on track with the different lives.
August 23, 2023
Rouzė niekada nenorėjo vaikų. Jos vyras Lukas, tai žinojo ir niekada tam neprieštaravo. Laikas bėga, žmonės keičiasi. Pasikeičia ir Luko nuomonė. Rouzė Napolitano atsiduria kryžkelėje - prieš akis, devynios gyvenimo versijos. Klausimas tik vienas - kuriuo keliu pasukusi, ji pagaliau bus laiminga?
Knyga, nuo kurios viršelio, sunku atitraukti akis. Be galo įdomi idėja. Opi tema, žinant kiek daug žmonių, šais laikais, pasirenka gyvenimą be vaikų. Ir kiek daug tam prieštaraujančių, vis dar atsiranda. Pati savo gyvenimo, be vaikų, neįsivaizduoju, tačiau niekada nesijaučiau turinti teisę teisti tą, kuris jų nenori. Nei vienas nesam skolingas pasauliui, neprivalom tėvams gimdyti anūkų. Daug kas sako, kad visi jų nenorintys, bet vis tiek susilaukę, magiškai pasikeičia ir gailisi to, kad ankščiau tam priešinosi. Dažnai taip ir būna. O kas, jeigu ne?
Autorė knygoje nagrinėja beveik visus įmanomus variantus - vienuose ji ištikima sau, kituose, pasiduoda spaudimui. Skirtingų kelių tiek daug, kad skaitydama turėjau pasidaryti mini konspektą ir susigaudyčiau, kas vyksta. Bet išvyniojus visus autorės sumegztus mazgus ir sužinojus visas įmanomas baigtis, likau patenkinta. Pagrindinė knygos žinutė aiški nuo pat pradžių - svarbiausia išlikti savimi ir gyventi taip, kaip tau atrodo teisinga. Skamba paprastai, tik kartais, kad tą suprastum, reikia viso gyvenimo. Arba devynių..
Knyga, nuo kurios viršelio, sunku atitraukti akis. Be galo įdomi idėja. Opi tema, žinant kiek daug žmonių, šais laikais, pasirenka gyvenimą be vaikų. Ir kiek daug tam prieštaraujančių, vis dar atsiranda. Pati savo gyvenimo, be vaikų, neįsivaizduoju, tačiau niekada nesijaučiau turinti teisę teisti tą, kuris jų nenori. Nei vienas nesam skolingas pasauliui, neprivalom tėvams gimdyti anūkų. Daug kas sako, kad visi jų nenorintys, bet vis tiek susilaukę, magiškai pasikeičia ir gailisi to, kad ankščiau tam priešinosi. Dažnai taip ir būna. O kas, jeigu ne?
Autorė knygoje nagrinėja beveik visus įmanomus variantus - vienuose ji ištikima sau, kituose, pasiduoda spaudimui. Skirtingų kelių tiek daug, kad skaitydama turėjau pasidaryti mini konspektą ir susigaudyčiau, kas vyksta. Bet išvyniojus visus autorės sumegztus mazgus ir sužinojus visas įmanomas baigtis, likau patenkinta. Pagrindinė knygos žinutė aiški nuo pat pradžių - svarbiausia išlikti savimi ir gyventi taip, kaip tau atrodo teisinga. Skamba paprastai, tik kartais, kad tą suprastum, reikia viso gyvenimo. Arba devynių..
August 30, 2023
Kiekviena mūsų diena susideda iš didesnių ar mažesnių sprendimų. Kiekvieno mūsų gyvenimas - virtinė sprendimų, kurie lemia, kas seks po to. Ar dažnai pagalvojate apie tai, kas būtų, jei vienas ar kitas jūsų sprendimas būtų buvęs kitoks? Kas būtų, jei jūsų gyvenimo partneris būtų kitas, kas būtų, jei jūsų studijų kryptis būtų kita, o kas būtų, jei jūsų karjeros sprendimai būtų visiškai kiti. Aš, didžioji overthinkerė, tą darau gana dažnai. Na, o knygos herojė Rouzė apmąsto savo gyvenimo scenarijus motinystės arba apsisprendimo neturėti vaiko fone. Viso devynis.
Rouzė Napolitano yra nuostabi moteris. Kilusi iš visiškai paprastos šeimos, ji visko pasiekia pati. Anksti suvokusi, kad mokslas ir karjera yra jos kelias, ji nesiblaško ir siekia aukštumų. Siekia tiek, kad tėvai kartais nebesupranta ką jų dukra kalba, nes jų išsilavinimas gerokai kuklesnis. Rouzės tas nestabdo, nes ji puikiai jaučiasi savo kailyje, žino koks yra jos kelias ir yra tvirtai nusprendusi neturėti vaikų. Motinystė, tvirtai įsitikinusi ji, yra ne jai. Bet nutinka taip, kad jos vyras Lukas (beje iš anksto įspėtas, kad vaikų ji neplanuoja) pakeičia savo nuomonę ir užsimano vaiko. Su Rouze. Užsimano gal net per silpnas žodis, nes vyras pradeda naudoti psichologinį spaudimą Rouzei, kad gauti, ko nori. Štai čia istorija ir pradeda šakotis į daaaaug skirtingų scenarijų: vienuose Rouze paneigia vidinį balsą ir tampa motina, kituose ji lieka ištikima sau ir nusprendžia, kad jiems su Luku nepakeliui. Kuris sprendimas geriausias?
OMG kiek čia sluoksnių. Kiek temų užkabina autorė. Viena vertus apie tradicinį visuomenės lūkestį į moterį - nesvarbu tos karjeros, tavo tikslas gyvenime - pagimdyti kūdikį. Niekam neįdomu ką iki tol esi pasiekusi ir ko tu nori. Autorė paliečia itin opias moterims temas: ką daryti, kai visa tavo aplinka nuolat spaudžia ir klausinėja kada vaikai, ką daryti, kai tvirtas susitarimas niekad neturėti vaikų žlunga, nes vienas iš partnerių pakeičia nuomonę.
Sukasi galva kiek daug minčių sukėlė šie autorės sukurti devyni Rouzės gyvenimai. Didelis trigeris yra tai, kad viskas taip pažįstama. Pakelkite rankas tie, kurie ilgą laiką turite partnerį ir aplinka jaučiasi turinti teisę paklausti - kada vaikai. Čia yra niekieno reikalas, niekas neturi teisės klausinėti tokių dalykų ir apskritai - ar esate tiek artimas porai, kad jaučiatės turintis teisę to klausti. Tas nutaisytas "supratingas žvilgsniukas" ir klausimas lyg tarp kitko apie vaikus yra koktus ir gerai, kad pagaliau vis daugiau žmonių pradeda apie tai kalbėti.
Kita svarbi tema galėtų būti apie teisę persigalvoti. Juk taip būna. Šiandien yra dalykai, kuriais, rodos, šventai tikiu, bet po metų jie man gali atrodyti kvailiausi pasaulyje. Taip nutinka Lukui. Jis persigalvoja. Nori vaikų. Ar čia jo tėvai padaro juodą darbelį ir įkala tai jam į galvą - ne tai svarbu, nes faktas vienas - du žmonės, kurie manė esantys giminingos sielos nebegali būti kartu, nes toks svarbus dalykas kaip vaikas, nei vienam nei kitam negali būti kompromisas.
Manau autorė gana smagiai pažaidė su šiais gana įvairiais Rouzės gyvenimo scenarijai. Pradinė mintis puiki, bet, kaip neretai būna, su įgyvendinimu sunkiau. Vis tik, manau, kad tų scenarijų buvo gerokai per daug. Mintis lyg ir smagi - paanalizuoti kas būtų vienu, kitu, trečiu atveju, bet kai kalbame apie devintą - gana sunku sekti, gana sunku susigaudyti ir tampa visko per daug. Knygos pabaigoje man visiškai neberūpi nei Lukas, nei Rouzė, nei dar velniai žino kas, nes tai tiesiog dar vienas scenarijus, o ne realybė dėl kurios galiu išgyventi ir sirgti, o tai jau blogas ženklas.
Ši knyga puiki iliustracija to, kad lengvai ir žaismingai skaitomas kūrinys savyje gali talpinti labai rimtas temas. Kiek daug minčių iškels ši knyga - pamatysit. Ypač moterims. Kokios jūsų mintys apie motinystę, ką manote apie moterį, kurios gyvenime vaikams vietos nėra, ką daryti su aplinkinių spaudimu daryti vienokius ar kitokius sprendimus gyvenime ir t.t. ir t.t. Mane vertė aikčioti iš susižavėjimo Rouzės atsidavimas savo karjerai ir kėlė neįsivaizduojamo dydžio pykčio bangas aplinkinių nesusivokimas nekišti nosių į ne savo reikalus. Devynių Rouzės gyvenimų pasirodė per daug, bet bendrai - laaabai daug vietos apmąstymams apie moterų galimybę pasirinkti kaip gyventi savo gyvenimą.
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Rouzė Napolitano yra nuostabi moteris. Kilusi iš visiškai paprastos šeimos, ji visko pasiekia pati. Anksti suvokusi, kad mokslas ir karjera yra jos kelias, ji nesiblaško ir siekia aukštumų. Siekia tiek, kad tėvai kartais nebesupranta ką jų dukra kalba, nes jų išsilavinimas gerokai kuklesnis. Rouzės tas nestabdo, nes ji puikiai jaučiasi savo kailyje, žino koks yra jos kelias ir yra tvirtai nusprendusi neturėti vaikų. Motinystė, tvirtai įsitikinusi ji, yra ne jai. Bet nutinka taip, kad jos vyras Lukas (beje iš anksto įspėtas, kad vaikų ji neplanuoja) pakeičia savo nuomonę ir užsimano vaiko. Su Rouze. Užsimano gal net per silpnas žodis, nes vyras pradeda naudoti psichologinį spaudimą Rouzei, kad gauti, ko nori. Štai čia istorija ir pradeda šakotis į daaaaug skirtingų scenarijų: vienuose Rouze paneigia vidinį balsą ir tampa motina, kituose ji lieka ištikima sau ir nusprendžia, kad jiems su Luku nepakeliui. Kuris sprendimas geriausias?
OMG kiek čia sluoksnių. Kiek temų užkabina autorė. Viena vertus apie tradicinį visuomenės lūkestį į moterį - nesvarbu tos karjeros, tavo tikslas gyvenime - pagimdyti kūdikį. Niekam neįdomu ką iki tol esi pasiekusi ir ko tu nori. Autorė paliečia itin opias moterims temas: ką daryti, kai visa tavo aplinka nuolat spaudžia ir klausinėja kada vaikai, ką daryti, kai tvirtas susitarimas niekad neturėti vaikų žlunga, nes vienas iš partnerių pakeičia nuomonę.
Sukasi galva kiek daug minčių sukėlė šie autorės sukurti devyni Rouzės gyvenimai. Didelis trigeris yra tai, kad viskas taip pažįstama. Pakelkite rankas tie, kurie ilgą laiką turite partnerį ir aplinka jaučiasi turinti teisę paklausti - kada vaikai. Čia yra niekieno reikalas, niekas neturi teisės klausinėti tokių dalykų ir apskritai - ar esate tiek artimas porai, kad jaučiatės turintis teisę to klausti. Tas nutaisytas "supratingas žvilgsniukas" ir klausimas lyg tarp kitko apie vaikus yra koktus ir gerai, kad pagaliau vis daugiau žmonių pradeda apie tai kalbėti.
Kita svarbi tema galėtų būti apie teisę persigalvoti. Juk taip būna. Šiandien yra dalykai, kuriais, rodos, šventai tikiu, bet po metų jie man gali atrodyti kvailiausi pasaulyje. Taip nutinka Lukui. Jis persigalvoja. Nori vaikų. Ar čia jo tėvai padaro juodą darbelį ir įkala tai jam į galvą - ne tai svarbu, nes faktas vienas - du žmonės, kurie manė esantys giminingos sielos nebegali būti kartu, nes toks svarbus dalykas kaip vaikas, nei vienam nei kitam negali būti kompromisas.
Manau autorė gana smagiai pažaidė su šiais gana įvairiais Rouzės gyvenimo scenarijai. Pradinė mintis puiki, bet, kaip neretai būna, su įgyvendinimu sunkiau. Vis tik, manau, kad tų scenarijų buvo gerokai per daug. Mintis lyg ir smagi - paanalizuoti kas būtų vienu, kitu, trečiu atveju, bet kai kalbame apie devintą - gana sunku sekti, gana sunku susigaudyti ir tampa visko per daug. Knygos pabaigoje man visiškai neberūpi nei Lukas, nei Rouzė, nei dar velniai žino kas, nes tai tiesiog dar vienas scenarijus, o ne realybė dėl kurios galiu išgyventi ir sirgti, o tai jau blogas ženklas.
Ši knyga puiki iliustracija to, kad lengvai ir žaismingai skaitomas kūrinys savyje gali talpinti labai rimtas temas. Kiek daug minčių iškels ši knyga - pamatysit. Ypač moterims. Kokios jūsų mintys apie motinystę, ką manote apie moterį, kurios gyvenime vaikams vietos nėra, ką daryti su aplinkinių spaudimu daryti vienokius ar kitokius sprendimus gyvenime ir t.t. ir t.t. Mane vertė aikčioti iš susižavėjimo Rouzės atsidavimas savo karjerai ir kėlė neįsivaizduojamo dydžio pykčio bangas aplinkinių nesusivokimas nekišti nosių į ne savo reikalus. Devynių Rouzės gyvenimų pasirodė per daug, bet bendrai - laaabai daug vietos apmąstymams apie moterų galimybę pasirinkti kaip gyventi savo gyvenimą.
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February 10, 2025
Ця книжка наче мене розуміла, настільки я релейтилась з тим, що в ній відбувається, настільки прониклась
Взагалі взяла цю книжку, бо думки героїні мені близькі, я не хочу дітей і ніколи не хотіла, іноді здається у мене дійсно відсутня ця базова потреба в дитині, яку я бачу у інших жінок та подруг. І от є Роуз, яка має такі ж думки. І було складно читати весь цей тиск, який на нього звалювали, іронічно, що я чула багато чого подібного і ще почую…
Всі девʼять її життів я прожила разом з нею, переживала, кричала в книгу і була або не була згодна.
Але… ставлю 4, бо фінал мені абсолютно не зайшов. Авторка всю книжку говорила про вибір і як це важливо, щоб в кінці закінчити тим, чим закінчила…
Хотілось би життя, де Роуз була б щаслива без будь-яких дітей. Ні своїх, ні чужих. Бо виходить, що всі 8 життів у Роуз усе одно є дитина (одне життя не рахуємо, бо воно обірвалось!), наче авторка нам каже — що для щастя усе одно треба стосунки та дитина. Інакше ніяк. Це розчаровує…
Взагалі взяла цю книжку, бо думки героїні мені близькі, я не хочу дітей і ніколи не хотіла, іноді здається у мене дійсно відсутня ця базова потреба в дитині, яку я бачу у інших жінок та подруг. І от є Роуз, яка має такі ж думки. І було складно читати весь цей тиск, який на нього звалювали, іронічно, що я чула багато чого подібного і ще почую…
Всі девʼять її життів я прожила разом з нею, переживала, кричала в книгу і була або не була згодна.
Але… ставлю 4, бо фінал мені абсолютно не зайшов. Авторка всю книжку говорила про вибір і як це важливо, щоб в кінці закінчити тим, чим закінчила…
Хотілось би життя, де Роуз була б щаслива без будь-яких дітей. Ні своїх, ні чужих. Бо виходить, що всі 8 життів у Роуз усе одно є дитина (одне життя не рахуємо, бо воно обірвалось!), наче авторка нам каже — що для щастя усе одно треба стосунки та дитина. Інакше ніяк. Це розчаровує…
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
February 21, 2025
Більшу частину книги я ловила себе на тому, що думки Роуз - це мої думки.
Багато дуже всього відгукнулось.
На деякі речі глянула з іншого боку.
Дещо, несподівано, виявилось доволі тригерним для мене.
Але в цілому книга дуже і дуже варта до прочитання.
Хоча би задля того, щоби нагадати собі, хто саме має обирати.
І що мати вибір - то справді важливо.
Багато дуже всього відгукнулось.
На деякі речі глянула з іншого боку.
Дещо, несподівано, виявилось доволі тригерним для мене.
Але в цілому книга дуже і дуже варта до прочитання.
Хоча би задля того, щоби нагадати собі, хто саме має обирати.
І що мати вибір - то справді важливо.
April 3, 2025
Після прочитання цієї книги я була обурена, бо авторка хотіла розкрити дуже важливу тему про жінок, але у фіналі взяла та реалізувала всі ті стереотипи та тиск соціуму, про який казала у книзі.
Особисто мене історія не вразила, життя були однотипними. Хотілося чогось кардинально різного і абсолютно іншого фіналу.
Особисто мене історія не вразила, життя були однотипними. Хотілося чогось кардинально різного і абсолютно іншого фіналу.
September 10, 2021
Rounded up from 4.5.
Don’t you just love it when a book takes you completely by surprise? 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐎 by Donna Freitas did exactly that for me. It was a book I’d seen around, but was never truly grabbed by the premise. To be honest, I think the “nine lives” part put me off on it. Then, I heard @caitlinwahrer recommend the book on the @sarahsbookshelves 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦 podcast and was a little intrigued. I had a long drive coming up, so it was the perfect time to listen.
From the very beginning, I knew I was going to love this book. It features Rose, a Phd. in sociology, who has ALWAYS known that she doesn’t want children. Her husband, Luke, is in complete agreement….until he changes his mind. In nine different iterations of Rose’s life Freitas beautifully explores motherhood: what it means to be a mother, what it means to have a mother, what it means to choose motherhood, and what it means to choose not join the ranks of motherhood. This last, especially, is a topic not covered much in writing. I so appreciated the deft hand Freitas used to really shine a light on this choice that is so often misunderstood and questioned by society at large. To me 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘰 is not only a great story, it’s also an important book and one I highly recommend. I thoroughly enjoyed the audio version, narrated by @kristenseih, but think Rose’s nine lives might have been slightly easier to follow in print.
Don’t you just love it when a book takes you completely by surprise? 𝐓𝐇𝐄 𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐄 𝐋𝐈𝐕𝐄𝐒 𝐎𝐅 𝐑𝐎𝐒𝐄 𝐍𝐀𝐏𝐎𝐋𝐈𝐓𝐀𝐍𝐎 by Donna Freitas did exactly that for me. It was a book I’d seen around, but was never truly grabbed by the premise. To be honest, I think the “nine lives” part put me off on it. Then, I heard @caitlinwahrer recommend the book on the @sarahsbookshelves 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦 podcast and was a little intrigued. I had a long drive coming up, so it was the perfect time to listen.
From the very beginning, I knew I was going to love this book. It features Rose, a Phd. in sociology, who has ALWAYS known that she doesn’t want children. Her husband, Luke, is in complete agreement….until he changes his mind. In nine different iterations of Rose’s life Freitas beautifully explores motherhood: what it means to be a mother, what it means to have a mother, what it means to choose motherhood, and what it means to choose not join the ranks of motherhood. This last, especially, is a topic not covered much in writing. I so appreciated the deft hand Freitas used to really shine a light on this choice that is so often misunderstood and questioned by society at large. To me 𝘛𝘩𝘦 𝘕𝘪𝘯𝘦 𝘓𝘪𝘷𝘦𝘴 𝘰𝘧 𝘙𝘰𝘴𝘦 𝘕𝘢𝘱𝘰𝘭𝘪𝘵𝘢𝘯𝘰 is not only a great story, it’s also an important book and one I highly recommend. I thoroughly enjoyed the audio version, narrated by @kristenseih, but think Rose’s nine lives might have been slightly easier to follow in print.
July 9, 2023
Praeitą savaitę sėdėjau Amsterdame ant suolelio ir pabaiginėjau šią knygą. Užvertus romaną ėmiau bendrauti su pora italų ir prancūzu, ir, kaip įdomu – temos visai netrukus pasisuko tomis pačiomis kryptimis – vaikai, jų turėjimas ar pasirinkimas jų neturėti. Pusė vakaro diskutavome ir vis tik priėjome išvadą, kad tai yra kiekvieno žmogaus pasirinkimas ir reikėtų spjauti į visuomenės spaudimą. Tačiau ar po diskusijų ir užvertus šią knygą sužinojau kažką naujo? Ne, bet įsitikinau, kad jei nori būti laimingas, turi išlikti ištikimas visų pirma sau. Savo įsitikinimams, troškimams, svajonėms.
Tai provokuojantis pasakojimas apie Rouzę Napolitano ir devynis jos gyvenimo variantus: kas būtų jei… Rouzė nuspręstų paklausyti savo širdies, neturėtų vaikų ir tada jos santuoka subyrėtų. Arba kas būtų, jei net ir nusprendžiant jų neturėti, vyras liktų? ...kas, jei vis tik Rouzė pamintų savo AŠ ir nuspręstų susilaukti vaikų? Kokios galimos baigtys būtų tada? O galiausiai, kas nutiktų, jei abu žmonės dar prieš vestuves vienas kitą išgirstų ir nesitikėtų, kad nuomonė su laiku pasikeis? Autorė mus veda visais šiais skirtingais keliais (iš viso devyniais) ir parodo dalykus, apie kuriuos dažnas nė nesusimąstome.
Nėra didelė paslaptis, kad paskutiniu metu vis susitikinėju, tad ši tema man gana aktuali. Pokalbiai apie ateitį ir vaikus yra nuostabiai veikiantis filtras – vien tik noras kalbėti arba nekalbėti šiomis temomis parodo daugiau, nei noras ar nenoras tą šeimą kurti. Išsiaiškini šiuos dalykus pačioje pradžioje ir pasidaro aišku, ar verta bristi giliau, nes nieku gyvu nesitikėčiau pakeisti žmogaus nuomonės tokiais svarbiais klausimais. Juk nuo to priklauso mūsų laimė. Nenorėčiau savo kailiu patirti net 8 iš 9 čia aprašomų gyvenimo variantų, dėl to renkuosi filtruoti.
Aštri tema, nesaldi knyga. Istorijos vingiai tokie, kad ir realiame gyvenime susidūrus šiais dalykais ne visada pavyksta nuslėpti nuotabos žvilgsnį išgirdus iš moters, kad ji nenori vaikų. Kaip? Kodėl? Bet gal dar apsigalvosi ir po to bus per vėlu? O kas būtų, jei tiesiog priimtume tai kaip normą – vieni nori, kiti ne. Ir tiek. O tada mažiau vieni kitus ėstume. Nes tiek iš šios knygos, tiek ir iš aplinkos žinau, kad skaudžiausiai tokiose situacijose jau pakapoja artimiausi žmonės, tad svetimi savo druską gali pasilikti ir barstyti ją kažkur kitur.
Kandžiai dėliojasi mano mintys apie šį puikų romaną. Bet galvoje dūzgia minčių avilys, ir jau ne vieną dieną. Šioji knyga, nors ir labai pamokanti, joje nejaučiame kažkokio kartaus didaktinio poskonio. Nėra moralų ar išvadų, kurias autorė norėtų, kad skaitytojai pasidarytų. Jos ateina automatiškai. Po kiekvienos užsibaigusios gijos, po tam tikroje vietoje sumegzto mazgo tu gali sau pasisakyti – taip, čia viskas gerai, arba priešingai, keiktelti ir piktai papurtyti galvą dėl veikėjų, kurie išduoda save.
Stipri knyga, paveiki knyga. Nors pasikartojimai vietomis erzino, vis tik vertinu itin gerai už drąsą kalbėti temomis, kurias visuomenėje neretai bijome paliesti. O palietę gūžiamės, nes „o ką kiti pagalvos“.
Leidyklos dovana.
Tai provokuojantis pasakojimas apie Rouzę Napolitano ir devynis jos gyvenimo variantus: kas būtų jei… Rouzė nuspręstų paklausyti savo širdies, neturėtų vaikų ir tada jos santuoka subyrėtų. Arba kas būtų, jei net ir nusprendžiant jų neturėti, vyras liktų? ...kas, jei vis tik Rouzė pamintų savo AŠ ir nuspręstų susilaukti vaikų? Kokios galimos baigtys būtų tada? O galiausiai, kas nutiktų, jei abu žmonės dar prieš vestuves vienas kitą išgirstų ir nesitikėtų, kad nuomonė su laiku pasikeis? Autorė mus veda visais šiais skirtingais keliais (iš viso devyniais) ir parodo dalykus, apie kuriuos dažnas nė nesusimąstome.
Nėra didelė paslaptis, kad paskutiniu metu vis susitikinėju, tad ši tema man gana aktuali. Pokalbiai apie ateitį ir vaikus yra nuostabiai veikiantis filtras – vien tik noras kalbėti arba nekalbėti šiomis temomis parodo daugiau, nei noras ar nenoras tą šeimą kurti. Išsiaiškini šiuos dalykus pačioje pradžioje ir pasidaro aišku, ar verta bristi giliau, nes nieku gyvu nesitikėčiau pakeisti žmogaus nuomonės tokiais svarbiais klausimais. Juk nuo to priklauso mūsų laimė. Nenorėčiau savo kailiu patirti net 8 iš 9 čia aprašomų gyvenimo variantų, dėl to renkuosi filtruoti.
Aštri tema, nesaldi knyga. Istorijos vingiai tokie, kad ir realiame gyvenime susidūrus šiais dalykais ne visada pavyksta nuslėpti nuotabos žvilgsnį išgirdus iš moters, kad ji nenori vaikų. Kaip? Kodėl? Bet gal dar apsigalvosi ir po to bus per vėlu? O kas būtų, jei tiesiog priimtume tai kaip normą – vieni nori, kiti ne. Ir tiek. O tada mažiau vieni kitus ėstume. Nes tiek iš šios knygos, tiek ir iš aplinkos žinau, kad skaudžiausiai tokiose situacijose jau pakapoja artimiausi žmonės, tad svetimi savo druską gali pasilikti ir barstyti ją kažkur kitur.
Kandžiai dėliojasi mano mintys apie šį puikų romaną. Bet galvoje dūzgia minčių avilys, ir jau ne vieną dieną. Šioji knyga, nors ir labai pamokanti, joje nejaučiame kažkokio kartaus didaktinio poskonio. Nėra moralų ar išvadų, kurias autorė norėtų, kad skaitytojai pasidarytų. Jos ateina automatiškai. Po kiekvienos užsibaigusios gijos, po tam tikroje vietoje sumegzto mazgo tu gali sau pasisakyti – taip, čia viskas gerai, arba priešingai, keiktelti ir piktai papurtyti galvą dėl veikėjų, kurie išduoda save.
Stipri knyga, paveiki knyga. Nors pasikartojimai vietomis erzino, vis tik vertinu itin gerai už drąsą kalbėti temomis, kurias visuomenėje neretai bijome paliesti. O palietę gūžiamės, nes „o ką kiti pagalvos“.
Leidyklos dovana.
September 28, 2022
Rose Napolitano ha decidido no ser madre, se ha sembrado la idea desde muy joven y está dispuesta a defender sus ideales pero ¿que pasaría si alguien la pudiera persuadir?
La autora plantea 9 alternativas en 9 diferentes vidas para mostrar que es lo que pasaría con Rose si tomará otras decisiones.
En mi opinión y desde mi visión este libro me deja ver qué pasa cuando no eliges a la persona correcta para compartir tu vida , desde mi perspectiva no pude ver a Rose como la culpable y no pude enjuiciarla por las decisiones que ella defiende. La presión social a la que muchas mujeres están expuestas es altísima, el peso de la cultura al ver como obligación que una mujer se convierta en madre al contraer matrimonio y las expectativas de familiares y amigos muchas veces llevan a las mujeres a tomar otras opciones que no van con sus ideales.
En esta historia hay muchas versiones de Rose, una mujer joven y bien educada académicamente que se ve rebasada por la constante presión que pone su esposo para convertirse en padres, mismo esposo con el que ella ya tenía un previo acuerdo sobre que ELLA NO se convertiría en madre, una muestra del efecto mariposa para ver en diferentes ambientes que pasaría si Rose cede a las presiones sociales.
Una lectura muy detallada, sumamente interesante que gira y gira hasta reencontrar a la Rose verdadera.
La autora plantea 9 alternativas en 9 diferentes vidas para mostrar que es lo que pasaría con Rose si tomará otras decisiones.
En mi opinión y desde mi visión este libro me deja ver qué pasa cuando no eliges a la persona correcta para compartir tu vida , desde mi perspectiva no pude ver a Rose como la culpable y no pude enjuiciarla por las decisiones que ella defiende. La presión social a la que muchas mujeres están expuestas es altísima, el peso de la cultura al ver como obligación que una mujer se convierta en madre al contraer matrimonio y las expectativas de familiares y amigos muchas veces llevan a las mujeres a tomar otras opciones que no van con sus ideales.
En esta historia hay muchas versiones de Rose, una mujer joven y bien educada académicamente que se ve rebasada por la constante presión que pone su esposo para convertirse en padres, mismo esposo con el que ella ya tenía un previo acuerdo sobre que ELLA NO se convertiría en madre, una muestra del efecto mariposa para ver en diferentes ambientes que pasaría si Rose cede a las presiones sociales.
Una lectura muy detallada, sumamente interesante que gira y gira hasta reencontrar a la Rose verdadera.
May 2, 2022
Creo que sería un 3,5 en realidad. La idea (las diferentes vidas de una misma persona dependiendo de una decisión concreta) me ha encantado. El tema (maternidad/no maternidad), también. Y los diferentes acontecimientos en la vida de Rose, también. ¿Cuál ha sido el problema, entonces? Creo que el lío que me he hecho con las diferentes vidas. Por lo que leo en otras opiniones, a mucha gente le ha pasado lo mismo e incluso algunas personas se han hecho una "chuleta" para saber en qué vida estaban en cada momento. Pero, sinceramente, no es algo que yo me plantee hacer para disfrutar de una lectura, así que he leído un poco "a ciegas" y eso me ha impedido disfrutarla del todo.
April 9, 2021
Longer review ahead, but this book is definitely worth it!
I don't think that I've ever read a book that spoke to me so clearly. This is the story about a woman deciding whether or not to have children and how it defines her life and changes her. The different lives show nine different ways that her life played out based on the decision that she makes about having children.
I am single and have not birthed any children. I am the legal guardian to one young adult, but I am currently age 34 with no children of my own. I have known for a long time that I didn't want to bear any children myself. As a teacher, I see so many kids in need of a good home that I would take them all home and shower them with love if I could. I have always said that I would foster or adopt. Right now, I work with kids all day, five days per week. Since my caseload is birth - age 21, I get to have wonderful relationships with kids of all ages. This is satisfying for me. Since I also have some health issues, like chronic migraine, coming home to a quiet house and having that time away from the kids has become essential for me. I've also heard from many other teacher's kids who felt ignored during their childhood because their parent used up all their energy at school and didn't save enough for their children at home.
I want to stress how much pressure I have felt from so many people regarding my choice not to have my own children. It is constant. It is exhausting. It is confusing. It is frustrating. This book describes it all. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have this story actually put into words exactly how I have felt so often. The guilt because "women are supposed to be mothers" or "you won't understand true love until you become a mother" or "when are you going to start a family". I understand that this is the choice and tends to be the norm for most women. They get married and have kids. The end. But there are those of us on the outskirts who feel depressed and pressured by not meeting the status quo. The fact that we attend bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, etc. and know that this is something that we won't experience. While we buy presents for our married or pregnant friends, that little voice inside says, "Too bad no one will ever congratulate you on doing what's best for you and your life." People saying to just "give it time, the right one will come along and then you'll want kids". It's exhausting. Really.
I LOVED this book for sharing the insights between different decisions that we can make. The different ways that we can come to a decision. How some decisions aren't what we initially wanted, but we make them work anyway. Sometimes we have to push back against the status quo. I know that there are other women out there just like me who will appreciate a book that tells a different story other than; she fell in love, got married, had kids, and that was her perfect life. If you are out there, and like me, have always felt like you are in the margins of society and not normal, please, read this book. I know you'll love it.
I don't think that I've ever read a book that spoke to me so clearly. This is the story about a woman deciding whether or not to have children and how it defines her life and changes her. The different lives show nine different ways that her life played out based on the decision that she makes about having children.
I am single and have not birthed any children. I am the legal guardian to one young adult, but I am currently age 34 with no children of my own. I have known for a long time that I didn't want to bear any children myself. As a teacher, I see so many kids in need of a good home that I would take them all home and shower them with love if I could. I have always said that I would foster or adopt. Right now, I work with kids all day, five days per week. Since my caseload is birth - age 21, I get to have wonderful relationships with kids of all ages. This is satisfying for me. Since I also have some health issues, like chronic migraine, coming home to a quiet house and having that time away from the kids has become essential for me. I've also heard from many other teacher's kids who felt ignored during their childhood because their parent used up all their energy at school and didn't save enough for their children at home.
I want to stress how much pressure I have felt from so many people regarding my choice not to have my own children. It is constant. It is exhausting. It is confusing. It is frustrating. This book describes it all. I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to have this story actually put into words exactly how I have felt so often. The guilt because "women are supposed to be mothers" or "you won't understand true love until you become a mother" or "when are you going to start a family". I understand that this is the choice and tends to be the norm for most women. They get married and have kids. The end. But there are those of us on the outskirts who feel depressed and pressured by not meeting the status quo. The fact that we attend bachelorette parties, weddings, baby showers, etc. and know that this is something that we won't experience. While we buy presents for our married or pregnant friends, that little voice inside says, "Too bad no one will ever congratulate you on doing what's best for you and your life." People saying to just "give it time, the right one will come along and then you'll want kids". It's exhausting. Really.
I LOVED this book for sharing the insights between different decisions that we can make. The different ways that we can come to a decision. How some decisions aren't what we initially wanted, but we make them work anyway. Sometimes we have to push back against the status quo. I know that there are other women out there just like me who will appreciate a book that tells a different story other than; she fell in love, got married, had kids, and that was her perfect life. If you are out there, and like me, have always felt like you are in the margins of society and not normal, please, read this book. I know you'll love it.
April 15, 2021
Note: I listened to the audiobook, which is not yet listed in goodreads
Unfortunately, I was having trouble following the complicated plot, so I DNF-ed this book. I don’t usually review a not finished book, but I did get 30% into the audiobook.
The author seemed so distracted by the complex interweaving of the first three lives of the main character, that she failed to make me care about what happened to her.
When I hit part two, which was going to introduce a few more possible lives, I gave up in favor of another book that had just arrived in my library account.
If you are someone who is conflicted about the decision not to have children, this character might resonate with you. I could not relate to her. Also, I don’t think the audiobook can be listened to quickly or while doing other complicated tasks. There are just too many plot lines to keep track of.
The narrator, Kristen Sieh, was very good.
Unfortunately, I was having trouble following the complicated plot, so I DNF-ed this book. I don’t usually review a not finished book, but I did get 30% into the audiobook.
The author seemed so distracted by the complex interweaving of the first three lives of the main character, that she failed to make me care about what happened to her.
When I hit part two, which was going to introduce a few more possible lives, I gave up in favor of another book that had just arrived in my library account.
If you are someone who is conflicted about the decision not to have children, this character might resonate with you. I could not relate to her. Also, I don’t think the audiobook can be listened to quickly or while doing other complicated tasks. There are just too many plot lines to keep track of.
The narrator, Kristen Sieh, was very good.
August 13, 2022
Wow! I really loved this book. I have to say that sometimes it was easy to mix up all the lives, but in the end I was capable of continuing reading thanks to the descriptions.
What I liked the most was the thoughts about not being a mother and how the character Rose felt about this. I know this topic is not one of the favourites, that is not a topic that people usually love, but I think people could understand how women, who don't want to be a mother, feel about being a mother and having a baby. All the pressure, how relatives were always talking to her about it and pushing her and trying to convince her that being a mother was the right choice, trying to convert her in someone she hated was really overwhelming and, yes, depressing.
On the other hand, jeez am I the only one who thought Luke was exhausting?? I understood him, I really did, but I felt that the only thing he wanted from Rose was her eggs. I hated this guy!
What I liked the most was the thoughts about not being a mother and how the character Rose felt about this. I know this topic is not one of the favourites, that is not a topic that people usually love, but I think people could understand how women, who don't want to be a mother, feel about being a mother and having a baby. All the pressure, how relatives were always talking to her about it and pushing her and trying to convince her that being a mother was the right choice, trying to convert her in someone she hated was really overwhelming and, yes, depressing.
On the other hand, jeez am I the only one who thought Luke was exhausting?? I understood him, I really did, but I felt that the only thing he wanted from Rose was her eggs. I hated this guy!
August 23, 2022
3,5 Sterne. Interessanter Entwurf über parallele Leben. Auch ich frage mich oft: "Was wäre, wenn ich damals anders entschieden hätte? Wo würde ich heute stehen, wenn.....?" Diesen Fragen nimmt sich das Buch an und wir begleiten die junge Rose durch verschiedene Abschnitte ihres Lebens in 9 verschiedenen Versionen. Schnell stellt sich heraus, so etwas wie die richtige oder die falsche Entscheidung gibt es nicht.
December 13, 2023
Man patiko! Jaučiausi kaip karuselėje... daug įvairių pasirinkimų, daug įvairių gyvenimo scenarijų, o kaip įdomiai viskas susiskaitė!
Tai knyga, kuri įrodo, jog net vienas žodis, vienas pasirinkimas gali lemti visai kitokią ateitį...
Rekomenduoju visoms mamoms ir toms, ypač toms moterims, kurios nenori žengti į motinystę.
Laaabai įvairiaspalbis kūrinys 🩵
Tai knyga, kuri įrodo, jog net vienas žodis, vienas pasirinkimas gali lemti visai kitokią ateitį...
Rekomenduoju visoms mamoms ir toms, ypač toms moterims, kurios nenori žengti į motinystę.
Laaabai įvairiaspalbis kūrinys 🩵
April 1, 2022
There were some parts of this book that I really loved (Rose’s parents, Addie’s interaction with Rose’s mom, thinking through the what-ifs in life) but I had such a hard time with some of the decisions Rose made. In the end I was a little frustrated that Rose ended up as some sort of parent in all of her “nine lives”. I think it would’ve been nice to have her in a life truly without children and thriving. I felt similarly when I read a book about a woman dealing with infertility but in the end she miraculously gets pregnant - it doesn’t really honor the experience that well. I was interested throughout to find out how the book would wrap up, but overall I’m a bit underwhelmed.
This entire review has been hidden because of spoilers.
March 17, 2021
I received an eARC of this book from NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.
2.5, rounded up. The conceit of having nine different timelines for Rose Napolitano intrigued me enough to request the book; however, in practice, it didn't work as well as I thought it would. Although the writing is solid, it's difficult to keep track of the different Roses, Addies, Lukes, and Thomases throughout the chapters.
2.5, rounded up. The conceit of having nine different timelines for Rose Napolitano intrigued me enough to request the book; however, in practice, it didn't work as well as I thought it would. Although the writing is solid, it's difficult to keep track of the different Roses, Addies, Lukes, and Thomases throughout the chapters.
July 8, 2021
Nope. I have A LOT to say about this book, I can Relate to Rose in her academia’s life and her fear of having a child to be responsible of, but It doesn’t justify anything she said. This book made me furious since the first sentence when she had a fight with Luke about the vitamins. I was like okay.. i see where this is going. I can’t of course blame her for everything, i mean Luke and his family were unbelievable.
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