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Somewhere Sisters: A Story of Adoption, Identity, and the Meaning of Family
Journalist, 2018 Alicia Patterson Fellow, and author of THE DEATH CLASS Erika Hayasaki's SOMEWHERE A TRUE STORY OF ADOPTION, IDENTITY, AND LOVE, about the epic quest to reunite Vietnamese twins separated at birth, where one girl was adopted by a wealthy Midwestern family and the other was left behind in Vietnam, and a look at nature-nurture science and cultural belonging.
317 pages, Kindle Edition
First published October 11, 2022
264 people are currently reading
3995 people want to read
About the author
Erika Hayasaki
5 books58 followersThe Death Class: A True Story About Life
COMING IN JANUARY 2014 FROM SIMON & SCHUSTER
When nurse and professor Norma Bowe decided to teach a course on death at a college in New Jersey, she never expected it to be popular. But year after year, students crowd into her classroom and the reason why is clear: Norma's "death class" is really about how to make the most of what poet Mary Oliver famously called our "one wild and precious life."
Under the guise of discussions about last wills and last breaths and visits to cemeteries and crematoriums, Norma teaches her students to find grace in one another.
By following her over three years, award-winning journalist Erika Hayasaki shows how Norma steers a group of extraordinary students from their tormented families and neighborhoods toward happiness: she rescues one young woman from her suicidal mother, helps a young man manage his schizophrenic brother, and inspires another to leave his gang life behind. Through this unorthodox class on death, Norma helps kids who are barely hanging on to understand not only the value of their own lives, but also the secret of fulfillment: to throw yourself into helping others.
Hayasaki's expert reporting and literary prose bring Norma's wisdom out of the classroom, transforming it into an inspiring lesson for all. In the end, Norma's very own life — and how she lives it — is the lecture that sticks.
Erika Hayasaki spent nine years as a reporter for the Los Angeles Times before becoming an assistant professor in the Literary Journalism program at the University of California, Irvine. She is a recipient of the Los Angeles Times Best Writing Award, the Association of Sunday Feature Editors Award, and the American Society of Newspaper Editors Breaking News Award. She had also been a two-time finalist for the Livingston Award for Young Journalists.
COMING IN JANUARY 2014 FROM SIMON & SCHUSTER
When nurse and professor Norma Bowe decided to teach a course on death at a college in New Jersey, she never expected it to be popular. But year after year, students crowd into her classroom and the reason why is clear: Norma's "death class" is really about how to make the most of what poet Mary Oliver famously called our "one wild and precious life."
Under the guise of discussions about last wills and last breaths and visits to cemeteries and crematoriums, Norma teaches her students to find grace in one another.
By following her over three years, award-winning journalist Erika Hayasaki shows how Norma steers a group of extraordinary students from their tormented families and neighborhoods toward happiness: she rescues one young woman from her suicidal mother, helps a young man manage his schizophrenic brother, and inspires another to leave his gang life behind. Through this unorthodox class on death, Norma helps kids who are barely hanging on to understand not only the value of their own lives, but also the secret of fulfillment: to throw yourself into helping others.
Hayasaki's expert reporting and literary prose bring Norma's wisdom out of the classroom, transforming it into an inspiring lesson for all. In the end, Norma's very own life — and how she lives it — is the lecture that sticks.
Erika Hayasaki spent nine years as a reporter for the Los Angeles Times before becoming an assistant professor in the Literary Journalism program at the University of California, Irvine. She is a recipient of the Los Angeles Times Best Writing Award, the Association of Sunday Feature Editors Award, and the American Society of Newspaper Editors Breaking News Award. She had also been a two-time finalist for the Livingston Award for Young Journalists.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 160 reviews
June 23, 2023
Erika Hayasaki does a terrific job sharing the story of premature twins born in Vietnam in 1998 and separated when they were five months old in Somewhere Sisters: A Story of Adoption, Identity, and the Meaning of Family. Isabella is taken to an Vietnamese orphanage and later adopted by a family in Chicago. She is raised in the U.S.
Isabella's twin sister, Ha, is raised by an aunt and her lesbian partner in a rural community in Vietnam. The Chicago family also adopted another girl, Olivia, from the same orphanage where they adopted Isabella.
This fascinating story follows the girls for more than a decade, including their reunion and meeting each other. There are so many different dynamics and points of view. No easy answers or solutions.
Hayasaki's father is Japanese and her mother is Caucasian. Hayasaki is the mother of twin boys and completed thorough, detailed research for the book. The book addresses studies of nature vs nurture, particularly those done with twins who were separated at birth.
Isabella's twin sister, Ha, is raised by an aunt and her lesbian partner in a rural community in Vietnam. The Chicago family also adopted another girl, Olivia, from the same orphanage where they adopted Isabella.
This fascinating story follows the girls for more than a decade, including their reunion and meeting each other. There are so many different dynamics and points of view. No easy answers or solutions.
Hayasaki's father is Japanese and her mother is Caucasian. Hayasaki is the mother of twin boys and completed thorough, detailed research for the book. The book addresses studies of nature vs nurture, particularly those done with twins who were separated at birth.
November 30, 2025
2.5 stars
For whatever reason, I love real-life stories of messy, complicated families, and I’m always fascinated by stories of adoptees dealing with family both biological and adopted, so this book was an easy sell. It’s the story of three sisters, all born in Vietnam: two of them are twins separated as infants—one to be adopted by Vietnamese relatives, the other by an American family—and the third, while not biologically related to the first two, is in the orphanage with the second and adopted by the American family at the same time. The book follows their young lives, interspersed with some background about international adoption, twin studies and other relevant topics.
The book is easy reading, with bite-sized chapters split up into even smaller segments, and I zoomed through it fairly quickly. I enjoyed getting to know these people and learning about the complications of their experiences, and particularly the Vietnamese family’s lives (the twin who stays grows up in a village, in a flimsy house whose floor turns to mud whenever it rains—also, her parents are lesbians, which the community seems to take little issue with). However, the writing style is very plain, and the background sections basic. Little here will be new to those who already know something about international adoption and/or twins.
Compared to other similar books, I also found this one somewhat lacking in insight and detail on the lives of the principals. This didn’t especially surprise me where the three girls are concerned—the author also includes some snippets in their voices, which come across as rather banal, but that’s normal for their ages (late teens and early 20s). However, the sections featuring the grown-ups are even less in-depth, whether due to the author’s own limitations as a writer or because neither the Vietnamese nor the American family fully trusted her (presumably for different reasons).
The elephant in the room here is that the book not only caters to short attention spans, but it’s very woke in a social-media-esque way, in which Hayasaki doesn’t so much examine issues as throw around code words. This is particularly evident in her treatment of the American mother, Keely. Keely seems actually pretty great: she spends a lot of time and energy tracking down her daughter’s twin in Vietnam so that they can meet while they’re still young, takes the girls back to Vietnam to build connections with the culture and their biological families, pays to put the Vietnamese twin through private school and college, covers the Vietnamese adoptive parents’ housing expenses, and provides a variety of other financial supports for the biological family. And the whole time, from the author’s word choice and choice of focus and detail, I had the image of her scowling and gritting her teeth: this is, after all, a white woman! trying to help!! people of COLOR!!! Never mind that she’s actually doing an impressive job of it. And Hayasaki never unpacks her own feelings about this, just constantly dog-whistles at us in the background. I wound up suspecting a story/author mismatch: all the actual players in this story seem to like Keely and be in favor of the adoption, while Hayasaki seems to oppose interracial and international adoption on principle. Perhaps she should have profiled adoptees who felt the same.
At any rate, if you’re interested in the very serious issues in international adoption, I strongly recommend checking out The Child Catchers, which is far more thoroughly researched and in-depth than this one; for a good international adoption horror story, see also Finding Fernanda. For a better book about twins separated by international adoption, try Daughters of the Bamboo Grove. As far as this book goes, I did enjoy reading about the sisters and their families and wish them all well, but I wish they’d found a better author.
For whatever reason, I love real-life stories of messy, complicated families, and I’m always fascinated by stories of adoptees dealing with family both biological and adopted, so this book was an easy sell. It’s the story of three sisters, all born in Vietnam: two of them are twins separated as infants—one to be adopted by Vietnamese relatives, the other by an American family—and the third, while not biologically related to the first two, is in the orphanage with the second and adopted by the American family at the same time. The book follows their young lives, interspersed with some background about international adoption, twin studies and other relevant topics.
The book is easy reading, with bite-sized chapters split up into even smaller segments, and I zoomed through it fairly quickly. I enjoyed getting to know these people and learning about the complications of their experiences, and particularly the Vietnamese family’s lives (the twin who stays grows up in a village, in a flimsy house whose floor turns to mud whenever it rains—also, her parents are lesbians, which the community seems to take little issue with). However, the writing style is very plain, and the background sections basic. Little here will be new to those who already know something about international adoption and/or twins.
Compared to other similar books, I also found this one somewhat lacking in insight and detail on the lives of the principals. This didn’t especially surprise me where the three girls are concerned—the author also includes some snippets in their voices, which come across as rather banal, but that’s normal for their ages (late teens and early 20s). However, the sections featuring the grown-ups are even less in-depth, whether due to the author’s own limitations as a writer or because neither the Vietnamese nor the American family fully trusted her (presumably for different reasons).
The elephant in the room here is that the book not only caters to short attention spans, but it’s very woke in a social-media-esque way, in which Hayasaki doesn’t so much examine issues as throw around code words. This is particularly evident in her treatment of the American mother, Keely. Keely seems actually pretty great: she spends a lot of time and energy tracking down her daughter’s twin in Vietnam so that they can meet while they’re still young, takes the girls back to Vietnam to build connections with the culture and their biological families, pays to put the Vietnamese twin through private school and college, covers the Vietnamese adoptive parents’ housing expenses, and provides a variety of other financial supports for the biological family. And the whole time, from the author’s word choice and choice of focus and detail, I had the image of her scowling and gritting her teeth: this is, after all, a white woman! trying to help!! people of COLOR!!! Never mind that she’s actually doing an impressive job of it. And Hayasaki never unpacks her own feelings about this, just constantly dog-whistles at us in the background. I wound up suspecting a story/author mismatch: all the actual players in this story seem to like Keely and be in favor of the adoption, while Hayasaki seems to oppose interracial and international adoption on principle. Perhaps she should have profiled adoptees who felt the same.
At any rate, if you’re interested in the very serious issues in international adoption, I strongly recommend checking out The Child Catchers, which is far more thoroughly researched and in-depth than this one; for a good international adoption horror story, see also Finding Fernanda. For a better book about twins separated by international adoption, try Daughters of the Bamboo Grove. As far as this book goes, I did enjoy reading about the sisters and their families and wish them all well, but I wish they’d found a better author.
October 21, 2022
This is a work of nonfiction, a chronicle of identity, poverty, privilege, and the painful and complex truths about adoption.
from Somewhere Sisters by Erika Hayasaki
We had just moved to a new community when a lady rushed me and our son across the room to meet her grandson. He was literally days older than our son. It was expected they would become friends. They were in the same class, went to the same summer camp, and sometimes got together. Our son told us that the boy was sad, angry, and felt alienated. He had been born in Korea and adopted as a baby by a well off Caucasian family who had already adopted an African American daughter. There were no other Asians in school. He was bullied. He agonized over why he had been given up. He was depressed.
I was drawn to read this book because of knowing that child.
Somewhere Sisters is the story of Vietnamese twins separated as infants, one remaining in her homeland and the other adopted by an American family. One kept her birth name, while the other was given an English name and didn’t even know how to pronounce her birth name. The American family also adopted another girl from the same orphanage, a younger child, as the girls had been deeply attached.
When the American family discovered their daughter had a twin, they searched for her sister. Once found, the mother visited them, helped to establish relationships between the families and provided financial aid. Eventually, they brought the twin to America for her education.
The book combines the twins’ story with information about adoption, the changing understanding of genetics and epigenetics and child raising, eugenics, xenophobia and racism. There is disturbing insight into the foreign adoption system that arose in late 20th c America. These passages are interesting, and at time disturbing, but turn our attention away from our emotional attachment to the sisters.
Foreign adoptions were fueled by several social changes. First, the availability of the birth control pill resulted in fewer American children in the adoption system. The end of the Viet Nam War and American guilt created an interest in welcoming Viet Nam babies to America for adoption. President Ford’s Operation Babylift took hundreds of babies, assumed to be orphans, from the country; the first plane load blew up shortly after liftoff, killing 78 of the children. Some of the children taken from their country had left family behind. The program was hailed as merciful, but others labeled it child exploitation. “Of the two thousand to three thousand orphans evacuated and sent to Western families, as many as fifteen hundred of them were estimated to never have been abandoned,” the author quotes Dana Sachs.
The twins in this book were given up by their mother who had no income or home. The babies would not have survived. Her sister and her partner adopted the stronger twin. The other girl was left at an orphanage. When their mother returned to see her daughter, she already in America. The mother loved her children, but she knew they were provided for and would have a chance at an education.
The twin who grew up in America was the victim of racism and bullying in school. What she experienced reminded me so much of the experience of the boy I had known. His parents, like so many, provided a comfortable, upper middle class life but did not understand the special needs of a foreign adoption. In the book, the American mother is compelled to find her daughter’s twin and arrange their meeting, without asking if it was something their daughter welcomed, without understanding the confusing feelings she had. The necessity of providing counseling and support for adopted children is one important lesson in the book.
It was surprising to learn that in 2001 foreign adoptees under age eighteen were given citizenship. but tens of thousands discovered they were not citizens and liable to deportation. The girls in this book discovered they had resident cards for ten years only. In 2022 a bill was passed to automatically give citizenship to all intercountry adoptees.
The book shares disturbing history and raises important questions.
I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley. My review is fair and unbiased.
from Somewhere Sisters by Erika Hayasaki
We had just moved to a new community when a lady rushed me and our son across the room to meet her grandson. He was literally days older than our son. It was expected they would become friends. They were in the same class, went to the same summer camp, and sometimes got together. Our son told us that the boy was sad, angry, and felt alienated. He had been born in Korea and adopted as a baby by a well off Caucasian family who had already adopted an African American daughter. There were no other Asians in school. He was bullied. He agonized over why he had been given up. He was depressed.
I was drawn to read this book because of knowing that child.
Somewhere Sisters is the story of Vietnamese twins separated as infants, one remaining in her homeland and the other adopted by an American family. One kept her birth name, while the other was given an English name and didn’t even know how to pronounce her birth name. The American family also adopted another girl from the same orphanage, a younger child, as the girls had been deeply attached.
When the American family discovered their daughter had a twin, they searched for her sister. Once found, the mother visited them, helped to establish relationships between the families and provided financial aid. Eventually, they brought the twin to America for her education.
The book combines the twins’ story with information about adoption, the changing understanding of genetics and epigenetics and child raising, eugenics, xenophobia and racism. There is disturbing insight into the foreign adoption system that arose in late 20th c America. These passages are interesting, and at time disturbing, but turn our attention away from our emotional attachment to the sisters.
Foreign adoptions were fueled by several social changes. First, the availability of the birth control pill resulted in fewer American children in the adoption system. The end of the Viet Nam War and American guilt created an interest in welcoming Viet Nam babies to America for adoption. President Ford’s Operation Babylift took hundreds of babies, assumed to be orphans, from the country; the first plane load blew up shortly after liftoff, killing 78 of the children. Some of the children taken from their country had left family behind. The program was hailed as merciful, but others labeled it child exploitation. “Of the two thousand to three thousand orphans evacuated and sent to Western families, as many as fifteen hundred of them were estimated to never have been abandoned,” the author quotes Dana Sachs.
The twins in this book were given up by their mother who had no income or home. The babies would not have survived. Her sister and her partner adopted the stronger twin. The other girl was left at an orphanage. When their mother returned to see her daughter, she already in America. The mother loved her children, but she knew they were provided for and would have a chance at an education.
The twin who grew up in America was the victim of racism and bullying in school. What she experienced reminded me so much of the experience of the boy I had known. His parents, like so many, provided a comfortable, upper middle class life but did not understand the special needs of a foreign adoption. In the book, the American mother is compelled to find her daughter’s twin and arrange their meeting, without asking if it was something their daughter welcomed, without understanding the confusing feelings she had. The necessity of providing counseling and support for adopted children is one important lesson in the book.
It was surprising to learn that in 2001 foreign adoptees under age eighteen were given citizenship. but tens of thousands discovered they were not citizens and liable to deportation. The girls in this book discovered they had resident cards for ten years only. In 2022 a bill was passed to automatically give citizenship to all intercountry adoptees.
The book shares disturbing history and raises important questions.
I received a free ebook from the publisher through NetGalley. My review is fair and unbiased.
December 27, 2022
A story about identical twin sisters raised separately in two completely different worlds and how they come together as teenagers. 3.5 stars.
March 11, 2023
Erika Hayasaki skillfully led me through a history of transracial/international adoption in the US while also chronicling the journey of the extended families, both birth- and adoptive, of three girls, two of whom were adopted by a US family and one who was adopted by her maternal aunt in Viet Nam. I felt aware at least of the issues covered here but the book gave me a much greater depth of understanding. I’m glad to have read it. Sometimes you just know a book on a fraught subject has been written by a compassionate person. This was one of those times.
November 8, 2022
This was not the story I thought I would read. I’m 100% in agreement with Keely and her disappointment as well. In my opinion, the “politics” should not have been included in this book. The story of the twins and their birth families, their adoptive families and thoughts about “ nature vs nurture” should have been the focus. I was very disappointed in how this book was written. In my opinion, the author had a separate agenda other than telling the family story of these twins.
October 19, 2022
What a well-researched and eye-opening book. Somewhere Sisters follows the journeys of Isabella, Olivia, and Hà. Isabella and Hà are biological twins separated and adopted out shortly after they were born. Olivia was in the orphanage with Isabella and were adopted by the same parents.
Erica Hayasaki explores what it is to be an orphan in Việt Nam as well as an orphan brought to the US from Việt Nam and other countries. She explores the concepts of nature vs nurture, especially in relation to twins in different settings and upbringings. She did an astounding amount of research, and I was delighted to see some case studies I had already heard of while learning of so many more. I also learned about the mass extraction of children from Việt Nam during Gerald Ford’s presidency. There’s exploration of white savior-ism, cultural assimilation whether natural or forced via adopted parents, cultural appropriation, and so much more. I never felt like Hayasaki was shaming, but trying to enlighten. This is very well-researched and there’s a lot of clinical outlook paired with emotive intel from the families. Through Hayasaki’s writing, I felt the whirlwind of confusion that these girls had to go through; the range of emotions when traveling to countries that they aren’t familiar with and trying to strike a bond with their biological families years down the road. The path to finding their identities between their various families, how they were brought up, their aspirations, and their past. I felt confused, overwhelmed, and excited FOR them and I was only getting to experience it through the pages of a book.
I really enjoyed Somewhere Sisters. I love a book where I can learn, expand my worldview, and read someone’s life story. This was very satisfying and I didn’t want to put it down. Thanks again to Algonquin and the author for having me.
Erica Hayasaki explores what it is to be an orphan in Việt Nam as well as an orphan brought to the US from Việt Nam and other countries. She explores the concepts of nature vs nurture, especially in relation to twins in different settings and upbringings. She did an astounding amount of research, and I was delighted to see some case studies I had already heard of while learning of so many more. I also learned about the mass extraction of children from Việt Nam during Gerald Ford’s presidency. There’s exploration of white savior-ism, cultural assimilation whether natural or forced via adopted parents, cultural appropriation, and so much more. I never felt like Hayasaki was shaming, but trying to enlighten. This is very well-researched and there’s a lot of clinical outlook paired with emotive intel from the families. Through Hayasaki’s writing, I felt the whirlwind of confusion that these girls had to go through; the range of emotions when traveling to countries that they aren’t familiar with and trying to strike a bond with their biological families years down the road. The path to finding their identities between their various families, how they were brought up, their aspirations, and their past. I felt confused, overwhelmed, and excited FOR them and I was only getting to experience it through the pages of a book.
I really enjoyed Somewhere Sisters. I love a book where I can learn, expand my worldview, and read someone’s life story. This was very satisfying and I didn’t want to put it down. Thanks again to Algonquin and the author for having me.
October 21, 2022
Topic: Vietnamese identical twin girls are given up for adoption at birth in 1998. One girl was adopted by a wealthy Midwestern family in the U.S. and the other remained in Nha Trang, Vietnam with an aunt. This nonfiction work tells the story of the unusual steps taken to finally reunite the two sisters.
The book: The author discusses the two girls, the twins, during their teens when they first meet, and compares their different experiences growing up, in terms of nature vs nurture science. The book also examines culture and belonging and the conflicts inherent in the topic of adoption.
I was very impressed with the amount of research that went into this book. I was also wowed by the author's interviewing of the U.S. and Vietnamese families and the multiple travels to and from Vietnam to complete this study and write the story of the twins before and after they meet.
The American adoptive mother's extensive efforts to reunite the girls and to prepare the Vietnamese raised twin to live with them in the U.S. is astounding. The amount of planning and funds needed to do this was extraordinary.
I understand that many adoptees may not get this kind of dedication from adoptive parents but this book makes me wonder about other similar stories that we have not heard.
A five star read.
The book: The author discusses the two girls, the twins, during their teens when they first meet, and compares their different experiences growing up, in terms of nature vs nurture science. The book also examines culture and belonging and the conflicts inherent in the topic of adoption.
I was very impressed with the amount of research that went into this book. I was also wowed by the author's interviewing of the U.S. and Vietnamese families and the multiple travels to and from Vietnam to complete this study and write the story of the twins before and after they meet.
The American adoptive mother's extensive efforts to reunite the girls and to prepare the Vietnamese raised twin to live with them in the U.S. is astounding. The amount of planning and funds needed to do this was extraordinary.
I understand that many adoptees may not get this kind of dedication from adoptive parents but this book makes me wonder about other similar stories that we have not heard.
A five star read.
April 14, 2023
What a powerful read regarding international adoptions. The personal story of the families involved were fascinating. Learning about the impact coming to America at a young age and trying to assimilate into a new and very different culture was eye opening. The author doesn't just related the story of two families but provides glimpses into the role and the impact governments have on international adoptions. For example many of the children, adopted by American families were never granted citizenship and some were even were deported. A touching and eye opening true story.
October 17, 2022
[4.5/5 stars]
Isabella and Hà are identical twins who were born in Vietnam. Their mother was unable to care for them and they were separated as babies. Living in different countries (Vietnam and America), they were reunited as teenagers.
This book delivers more than just a story about adoptees. Hayasaki does an amazing job at offering an insightful look into the complex world of adoption while bringing emotions into the pages with sisterhood. This is an incredibly well-researched work of history - after wars, even "good intentions" can be corrupted by the system and (transracial/transnational) adoptions can negatively impact families and lives of adoptees, those suffering from the remnants of racism, colonialism and imperialism.
This book also delves deep into the science, with behavioral researches that show the way the twins' character and individualism are influenced by nurture vs nature. Interweaving the relationships between adoptee-adoptive family-birth family with historical context, adoption is such a delicate bond which meaning goes beyond the process by itself. While it took me a while to get used to the format, this book opened my eyes to transracial adoption and different cultures (Vietnamese). Even though I was less emotionally invested than I thought, this is a book that doesn't need all the intensity for us to recognize its relevance and value. Isabella and Hà's journey of sisterhood was genuine, ending in a heartwarming tone.
Urgent and written with dedication, SOMEWHERE SISTERS is ultimately a chronicle of privilege, identity and family. A book that should be read with care.
[ I received an ARC from the publisher - Algonquin Books . All opinions are my own ]
Isabella and Hà are identical twins who were born in Vietnam. Their mother was unable to care for them and they were separated as babies. Living in different countries (Vietnam and America), they were reunited as teenagers.
This book delivers more than just a story about adoptees. Hayasaki does an amazing job at offering an insightful look into the complex world of adoption while bringing emotions into the pages with sisterhood. This is an incredibly well-researched work of history - after wars, even "good intentions" can be corrupted by the system and (transracial/transnational) adoptions can negatively impact families and lives of adoptees, those suffering from the remnants of racism, colonialism and imperialism.
This book also delves deep into the science, with behavioral researches that show the way the twins' character and individualism are influenced by nurture vs nature. Interweaving the relationships between adoptee-adoptive family-birth family with historical context, adoption is such a delicate bond which meaning goes beyond the process by itself. While it took me a while to get used to the format, this book opened my eyes to transracial adoption and different cultures (Vietnamese). Even though I was less emotionally invested than I thought, this is a book that doesn't need all the intensity for us to recognize its relevance and value. Isabella and Hà's journey of sisterhood was genuine, ending in a heartwarming tone.
Urgent and written with dedication, SOMEWHERE SISTERS is ultimately a chronicle of privilege, identity and family. A book that should be read with care.
[ I received an ARC from the publisher - Algonquin Books . All opinions are my own ]
November 11, 2023
{3.5 stars}
Isabella and Olivia are adopted sisters. They were both born in Vietnam to separate families and were adopted by an American family. Their adoptive mother had biological children and decided when prompted by a neighbor to go to Vietnam to adopt a young girl. That girl, Loan, had been given up by her mother who had birthed twins, one of which was weak and needed more attention. So she gave Loan away to focus on Ha, her weaker child. She visited the orphanage and really wanted a great life for her daughter. The story tells us how Isabella ended up in the US with a different Vietnamese sister and the epic quest their adoptive mother went on to reunite them with their birth families. It also tells us how each of the girls felt about their mother's absences and the reunification as well as how they lived afterwards. We also get large chunks of the history of Vietnam and America as well as the genetics of twins and a debate of nature versus nurture.
This book was definitely a lot. So many intertwined topics are investigated to try to explain the circumstances and emotional challenges of this unusual family. I liked a lot of the pieces of this book on their own but together it was a bit frenetic and all over the place. My best friend lived this life (albeit adopted from Korea not Vietnam) so I felt like I better understood the challenges of identity and the complexities of wanting to know where you are from and yet not, the grateful attitude toward your adopted parents and yet the inherent loss of who you could have been. I also appreciated the deeper dive into the parents and their motivations for making such a heart wrenching decision. My grandmother had a similar choice in her life and we all struggled to understand it when it came to light and this story helped me empathize even more.
Thanks to Algonquin Books for the gifted copy. All opinions above are my own.
Isabella and Olivia are adopted sisters. They were both born in Vietnam to separate families and were adopted by an American family. Their adoptive mother had biological children and decided when prompted by a neighbor to go to Vietnam to adopt a young girl. That girl, Loan, had been given up by her mother who had birthed twins, one of which was weak and needed more attention. So she gave Loan away to focus on Ha, her weaker child. She visited the orphanage and really wanted a great life for her daughter. The story tells us how Isabella ended up in the US with a different Vietnamese sister and the epic quest their adoptive mother went on to reunite them with their birth families. It also tells us how each of the girls felt about their mother's absences and the reunification as well as how they lived afterwards. We also get large chunks of the history of Vietnam and America as well as the genetics of twins and a debate of nature versus nurture.
This book was definitely a lot. So many intertwined topics are investigated to try to explain the circumstances and emotional challenges of this unusual family. I liked a lot of the pieces of this book on their own but together it was a bit frenetic and all over the place. My best friend lived this life (albeit adopted from Korea not Vietnam) so I felt like I better understood the challenges of identity and the complexities of wanting to know where you are from and yet not, the grateful attitude toward your adopted parents and yet the inherent loss of who you could have been. I also appreciated the deeper dive into the parents and their motivations for making such a heart wrenching decision. My grandmother had a similar choice in her life and we all struggled to understand it when it came to light and this story helped me empathize even more.
Thanks to Algonquin Books for the gifted copy. All opinions above are my own.
October 13, 2022
thank you to @algonquinbooks & @ehayasaki for the ARC, this pub just came out on 10/11!
A heavy & deeply researched book, Somewhere Sisters drew me in quickly, as the words, experiences, & stories that stemmed from identical twins Isabella & Hà came out from the pages. Twins separated as babies, the sisters knew very little about each other until they were reunited as teenagers. Hà & Isabella were both born in Việt Nam to a Disabled mother, who for many reasons that the book explores, had to give Isabella up to an orphanage. Isabella and another girl Isabella grew up with in the orphanage – her sister not by blood, Olivia – were both adopted from Việt Nam by an upper-class, wealthy white family in Illinois. Hà, raised by her Aunt by blood and her aunt's life partner (a lesbian couple) in Việt Nam, had a very different childhood than Isabella's & Olivia's.
Hayasaki does an incredible job balancing & centering the experiences of the three sisters, Isabella, Hà, & Olivia, but adds crucial historical context along the way. I admit that I've been ignorant to the impact colonization, imperialism, & racism has had on transracial adoption (I knew some basics, but not about specific historical moments & incidents, like Operation Babylift). As Hayasaki mentions in the notes, she spent hundreds of hours with these family members &, "over the years, walked each sister through her story several times, fact-checking, making sure she was comfortable with what she shared and periodically asking why she was open to having these parts of her journey in a book at all. Each explained to me, in her own way, that she was sharing her life for others who might be able to relate, or for herself, out of a sense of pride in what she had overcome, or for those who know her personally but might never have really heard or seen her in her entirety."
This book has many complex topics & feelings from each sister. There's much in this that I am reflecting on & will be spending time learning more. This book left me thinking deeply of how the webs of colonization, imperialism, & racism are so intricately connected to individual people & how even when things are approached with empathy or good intentions, the systems in place can sometimes render these approaches with trauma & harm regardless. I want to emphasize here too, as I mentioned I know very little about transracial adoption & encourage you to seek out reviews from transracial adoptee reviewers for this book as more reviews emerge.
A heavy & deeply researched book, Somewhere Sisters drew me in quickly, as the words, experiences, & stories that stemmed from identical twins Isabella & Hà came out from the pages. Twins separated as babies, the sisters knew very little about each other until they were reunited as teenagers. Hà & Isabella were both born in Việt Nam to a Disabled mother, who for many reasons that the book explores, had to give Isabella up to an orphanage. Isabella and another girl Isabella grew up with in the orphanage – her sister not by blood, Olivia – were both adopted from Việt Nam by an upper-class, wealthy white family in Illinois. Hà, raised by her Aunt by blood and her aunt's life partner (a lesbian couple) in Việt Nam, had a very different childhood than Isabella's & Olivia's.
Hayasaki does an incredible job balancing & centering the experiences of the three sisters, Isabella, Hà, & Olivia, but adds crucial historical context along the way. I admit that I've been ignorant to the impact colonization, imperialism, & racism has had on transracial adoption (I knew some basics, but not about specific historical moments & incidents, like Operation Babylift). As Hayasaki mentions in the notes, she spent hundreds of hours with these family members &, "over the years, walked each sister through her story several times, fact-checking, making sure she was comfortable with what she shared and periodically asking why she was open to having these parts of her journey in a book at all. Each explained to me, in her own way, that she was sharing her life for others who might be able to relate, or for herself, out of a sense of pride in what she had overcome, or for those who know her personally but might never have really heard or seen her in her entirety."
This book has many complex topics & feelings from each sister. There's much in this that I am reflecting on & will be spending time learning more. This book left me thinking deeply of how the webs of colonization, imperialism, & racism are so intricately connected to individual people & how even when things are approached with empathy or good intentions, the systems in place can sometimes render these approaches with trauma & harm regardless. I want to emphasize here too, as I mentioned I know very little about transracial adoption & encourage you to seek out reviews from transracial adoptee reviewers for this book as more reviews emerge.
Read
January 23, 2025Originally I wanted to rate this 4.5 stars (and even round up!) purely based on how much I really wanted to know what happened next throughout the story. It was a genuinely super interesting read. But after reading other reviews I’m very confused!! Clearly some drama went down!!
First of all a lot of reviewers are criticizing the author for her “political agenda,” but I legit don’t know or see what they’re talking about 😭 all I can think is that it’s referring to discussion about certain issues trans-racial/national adoptees face?? But like that’s real so?? 😭
Then there’s complaints about how Keely was portrayed but if everything the author wrote is true then idk what the problem is. I def got entitled and White Savior vibes from her. The way she was so determined to “save” Hà, even after learning that she has two loving parents taking care of her? I was cringing so hard during the chapter where she’s in Hà’s village for the first time. Of course it doesn’t negate all the good that Keely did but like let’s just be real, she wasn’t perfect either.
But the real kicker is that all three sisters have publicly denounced the author and the book (there are statements on their social media; you can find one at hanguyen_22 on twitter). They said it doesn’t convey the message of inspiration they wanted to share, they feel misrepresented, and the author had an agenda/obvious bias (which again I honestly didn’t see LOL oops).
So yeah idk 🤷🏻♀️
First of all a lot of reviewers are criticizing the author for her “political agenda,” but I legit don’t know or see what they’re talking about 😭 all I can think is that it’s referring to discussion about certain issues trans-racial/national adoptees face?? But like that’s real so?? 😭
Then there’s complaints about how Keely was portrayed but if everything the author wrote is true then idk what the problem is. I def got entitled and White Savior vibes from her. The way she was so determined to “save” Hà, even after learning that she has two loving parents taking care of her? I was cringing so hard during the chapter where she’s in Hà’s village for the first time. Of course it doesn’t negate all the good that Keely did but like let’s just be real, she wasn’t perfect either.
But the real kicker is that all three sisters have publicly denounced the author and the book (there are statements on their social media; you can find one at hanguyen_22 on twitter). They said it doesn’t convey the message of inspiration they wanted to share, they feel misrepresented, and the author had an agenda/obvious bias (which again I honestly didn’t see LOL oops).
So yeah idk 🤷🏻♀️
October 26, 2022
Identical twin girls in Vietnam are separated at 3 months of age and raised in completely different environments: one in poverty in the hills of Vietnam, the other is adopted by a wealthy family in Midwest America. This story tracks their lives, their families, their struggles, and their dreams as they grow and discover they have a twin sister half way around the world. It also exposes a lot about this country’s failings at handling out-of-country adoptions and paths to citizenship. It is a very caring look at these girls and their families.
Thanks to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the ARC to read and review.
Thanks to NetGalley and Algonquin Books for the ARC to read and review.
November 2, 2022
This is an amazing book. It tells the story of twins raised on opposite sides of the world, through the eyes of all parties involved. It is truly the proverbial emotional roller coaster.
The author also enlightens us with valuable information about adoption laws, adoptee citizenship for inter-country adoptees, and the overwhelming complexity of reunion.
It is an eye opening narrative. If you’ve read American Baby, you must read this.
The author also enlightens us with valuable information about adoption laws, adoptee citizenship for inter-country adoptees, and the overwhelming complexity of reunion.
It is an eye opening narrative. If you’ve read American Baby, you must read this.
November 13, 2023
Deeply researched, SOMEWHERE SISTERS examines transracial adoption through the story of Ha and Isabella, Vietnamese twins who were separated as babies—one adopted by a family in the United States, and one adopted by their aunt and her partner in Vietnam.
Hayasaki structures the book chronologically, following the girls as they grow up in vastly different environments, until they meet and live together as teens. Interspersed between their story are chapters examining different aspects of transracial adoption and twin studies. Isabella and Ha’s stories are told mostly in their own words, from years of interviews conducted by the author. We also follow the story of Isabella’s adopted sister Olivia, and I found all three of their voices to be compelling and unique. Hayasaki’s own perspective is very lightly felt, though I appreciated the moments where her story helped bring context to the narrative. The balance between intimate storytelling and analytical sections was perfect.
The similarities between Isabella and Ha’s feelings and experiences growing up, even as they lived thousands of miles apart, was astounding. Coupled with intriguing stories from twin studies done around the world, I found it hard to stop reading. The endless push and pull between nature and nurture in scientific debates/studies around twins, and the odd coincidences in peoples’ lives, really make you wonder about what connects us. This is a work of empathetic, curious journalism that is informative and insightful, yet will leave you with a lot to mull over. Highly recommend!
Hayasaki structures the book chronologically, following the girls as they grow up in vastly different environments, until they meet and live together as teens. Interspersed between their story are chapters examining different aspects of transracial adoption and twin studies. Isabella and Ha’s stories are told mostly in their own words, from years of interviews conducted by the author. We also follow the story of Isabella’s adopted sister Olivia, and I found all three of their voices to be compelling and unique. Hayasaki’s own perspective is very lightly felt, though I appreciated the moments where her story helped bring context to the narrative. The balance between intimate storytelling and analytical sections was perfect.
The similarities between Isabella and Ha’s feelings and experiences growing up, even as they lived thousands of miles apart, was astounding. Coupled with intriguing stories from twin studies done around the world, I found it hard to stop reading. The endless push and pull between nature and nurture in scientific debates/studies around twins, and the odd coincidences in peoples’ lives, really make you wonder about what connects us. This is a work of empathetic, curious journalism that is informative and insightful, yet will leave you with a lot to mull over. Highly recommend!
December 11, 2022
Mostly interesting read about two Vietnamese sisters who were separated as infants. One went to an orphanage and was adopted by a wealthy American family, the other was taken in by her aunt and female partner. Years later the wealthy American mom discovered that the girl she adopted has a twin sister somewhere in Vietnam and she sets out to find her. The book chronicles the journey of the twins reuniting, their somewhat rocky relationship to start out, and the girl who grew up in Vietnam eventually coming to America and living/going to school with her twin. The American family had also adopted another Vietnamese girl and the book talks about her reunion with her birth family in Vietnam (it really didn’t go well), and a lot about this girl’s sexuality (she is lesbian). The author weaves in the history of adoption viewpoints in America, and the pain and trauma that has been caused by White Americans swooping in to adopt children of different ethnicities.
This book was definitely written from a liberal, left-wing and Godless perspective, so I don’t recommend it. I found the story about the twin girls interesting, and I appreciated that it was real and raw, not sugar coating the realities of adoption that truly are painful (I think this is not talked about enough).
This book was definitely written from a liberal, left-wing and Godless perspective, so I don’t recommend it. I found the story about the twin girls interesting, and I appreciated that it was real and raw, not sugar coating the realities of adoption that truly are painful (I think this is not talked about enough).
October 26, 2022
A sensitive, fair portrayal of all participants of an complex family story. Hayasaki mostly lets each member give their honest story and honors their feelings, but intersperses with big picture context of the history of adoption, twins, Asian immigration, and related topics.
Highly recommended, especially if you are part of an adoption story or considering being one by choice.
Highly recommended, especially if you are part of an adoption story or considering being one by choice.
February 7, 2023
Very interesting how Identical twins were raised in two different countries and spoke two different languages which was a major barrier when they first met. It was very difficult for them to communicate with each other when they met for the first time. The twins became a lot closer when the one in Viet Nam learned to speak English when she was in her teens
February 25, 2024
As an adoptive parent, I was disturbed by Keely’s zeal to not only reunite the twins at a young age without their consent but also her use of media to follow the journey without any psych counseling provided to the twins in their journey. Her quotes in the epilogue are informative. She wants a happy ending without understanding the lived experiences of her children.
October 17, 2022
[Copy gifted by publisher]
READ IF YOU...
• Are interested in exploring the complicated world of adoption
• Like debating nature vs. nurture
• Love the power of sisterhood
I THOUGHT IT WAS...
A moving recounting of two Vietnamese twins reuniting, told within the context of adoption's complicated and political history. Loan and Hà, identical twins, were born in Vietnam. Their mother, unable to support them, took them to an orphanage, where one was accepted and the other was not. Thus starts the sisters' long separation, one that will eventually culminate in a close sisterhood. However, the path there was nowhere close to easy.
Hayasaki does a great job of interweaving both the complicated, sometimes distasteful, history of transracial and transnational adoption, and the body of research that's been done on twins into the telling of Loan -- now Isabella -- and Hà's story. It's effective because their story is inextricably linked to this larger history. It was sobering to learn the political underpinnings and misplaced philanthropic urges that drove many transnational adoptions. The egregious oversights of transracial and transnational adoption policy further illustrate how parent-focused the process is, with little thought or agency given to adoptees themselves.
Through an incredible amount of time spent with family members and interviews, Hayasaki shows how multi-faceted the adoptee journey is. Space is given to birth and adopted family members to reflect on mistakes made, honest feelings, and the growth that's occurred. This book attempts to breakdown the Hallmark-movie portrayal common to adoption stories while also telling a heartwarming story of sisterhood, approached with care and intention.
READ IF YOU...
• Are interested in exploring the complicated world of adoption
• Like debating nature vs. nurture
• Love the power of sisterhood
I THOUGHT IT WAS...
A moving recounting of two Vietnamese twins reuniting, told within the context of adoption's complicated and political history. Loan and Hà, identical twins, were born in Vietnam. Their mother, unable to support them, took them to an orphanage, where one was accepted and the other was not. Thus starts the sisters' long separation, one that will eventually culminate in a close sisterhood. However, the path there was nowhere close to easy.
Hayasaki does a great job of interweaving both the complicated, sometimes distasteful, history of transracial and transnational adoption, and the body of research that's been done on twins into the telling of Loan -- now Isabella -- and Hà's story. It's effective because their story is inextricably linked to this larger history. It was sobering to learn the political underpinnings and misplaced philanthropic urges that drove many transnational adoptions. The egregious oversights of transracial and transnational adoption policy further illustrate how parent-focused the process is, with little thought or agency given to adoptees themselves.
Through an incredible amount of time spent with family members and interviews, Hayasaki shows how multi-faceted the adoptee journey is. Space is given to birth and adopted family members to reflect on mistakes made, honest feelings, and the growth that's occurred. This book attempts to breakdown the Hallmark-movie portrayal common to adoption stories while also telling a heartwarming story of sisterhood, approached with care and intention.
October 8, 2022
A compelling story about Identical twin sisters reared by two different families on two separate continents. I always like to read about other people’s life stories and experiences, especially reunited family members.
Contact was made early on, facilitated by Keely, Isabella’s mother, whose persistence paid off. I did feel empathy for the sisters with their reunification was under a lot of scrutiny. I was also intrigued with the fact a lot of the story takes place in the Chicago suburbs, a place I am quite familiar with.
The author provides information on adoption, twin research, and transnational adoptions.
Against the odds, the sisters had a chance to be together and become acquainted. While many hurdles were overcome, their story does have a positive tone, which cannot be said for all adoptees.
Thanks to Algonquin Books and NetGalley for the advance copy.
Contact was made early on, facilitated by Keely, Isabella’s mother, whose persistence paid off. I did feel empathy for the sisters with their reunification was under a lot of scrutiny. I was also intrigued with the fact a lot of the story takes place in the Chicago suburbs, a place I am quite familiar with.
The author provides information on adoption, twin research, and transnational adoptions.
Against the odds, the sisters had a chance to be together and become acquainted. While many hurdles were overcome, their story does have a positive tone, which cannot be said for all adoptees.
Thanks to Algonquin Books and NetGalley for the advance copy.
January 5, 2025
I read about 30% of this before giving up. The writing was poor with abrupt changes from topic to topic and vague statements lacking supporting detail. It was also very one sided in its indictment of transracial adoption. Certainly some of the adoption policies of the US and other western countries were based on a foundation of racism. That said, many, if not most, of the people who adopted children who were living in poverty genuinely wanted to do a good thing. A more balanced story needs to be presented to prevent the allegations of racism from being rejected out of hand.
May 2, 2023
I loved this one.
Adoption is always complicated and I think the author did a great job showing the tension in the girls lives as well as their love for their family.
Two girls are adopted from Vietnam by an American family, one of those girls, unbeknownst to them, was a twin. The mom of the family makes it her mission to reunite her daughter with her twin, who stayed behind in Vietnam. The author did a good job talking about the facts around adoption and twins, nature nurture, etc.
Adoption is always complicated and I think the author did a great job showing the tension in the girls lives as well as their love for their family.
Two girls are adopted from Vietnam by an American family, one of those girls, unbeknownst to them, was a twin. The mom of the family makes it her mission to reunite her daughter with her twin, who stayed behind in Vietnam. The author did a good job talking about the facts around adoption and twins, nature nurture, etc.
October 21, 2022
A very well researched book regarding a set of identical twins who were separate upon birth in Viet Nam, by their birth mom due to poverty, hardships, and disability. The story also includes the story of Olivia, who was adopted with one of the twins, and brought to America as well.
One twin was given to an orphanage and adopted by an American (white) family. The other twin was given to their birth aunt and partner, who lived in Viet Nam.
Both twins had no knowledge of the other until their mid-childhood and met at the age of 13 for the first time.
This book shares the emotional rollercoaster of what adoption entails, reunions with birth families, the hardships and circumstances that sometimes occur when children are given up for adoption or sent to orphanages, and the continued issues that persist or develop due to being adopted in a family that is not racially the same (i.e., transracial adoptee).
Hayasaki also includes research surrounding other twins, who have been studied and details have been shared about their births and separations during their life, and it’s interesting to see how they have developed, modified behaviors, and/or accepted their life and adoption. The book shares details regarding transnational adoptions, white saviorism, and the manipulation/coercion/fraud that can surround many adoptions from overseas. Hayasaki brings up the 1970s’ “BabyLift” Operation that took thousands of kids from their country with hopes to give them a “better life.” However, we find out that many of these children were not orphans and their families were not well-informed on what was going to happen to them. What I learned indirectly from this book, is how many countries treat orphanages. Orphanages are not primarily for orphans exclusively, but for indigenous people who need respite or relief from parental responsibilities for a temporary amount of time. Sometimes, parents will come back for their child and find out their child has been adopted out of the country.
The story of adoptions and how many children are treated in these spaces came as a shock to me. I am not well-read on the goings on of adoptions and orphanages, but I can see how so much fraud, manipulation, capitalism, greed, and dishonesty can fall on places like this. Hayasaki does an excellent job though in catching us up with some of the history of transnational adoptions in places like Viet Nam, Korea, Africa, Australia, and other places in different parts of the world.
Ha, Loan (Isabella), Nhu (Olivia)’s stories were really emotionally compelling. I could literally read about their growth as independent women as the story progresses through their childhood to young adulthood, and it was fascinating to learn all the intricacies of how each person came to accept, adapt to, and overcome obstacles in their life because of the adoption that came into their lives. I was deeply sympathetic to Lien and her story and all of the hard decisions she had to make regards to giving up her children, and moving forward in life. Giving up any child for any reason is hard, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
The story of the twins and how they were reared was fascinating to read. I was super intrigued with how they processed their reunion, how they processed learning the fact they had an identical twin, and going back to the country of their birth.
This story also made me feel uncomfortable for the awkwardness that transracial adoptees have to face. Having white parents, white siblings, and then having to face the world as a minority is super complex and difficult to navigate I presume. There were some real heavy emotions that were dealt with in this book, from Keely, to the girls, to their siblings, to the birth mothers, to the birth families… it was heart wrenching and difficult in some parts of this book that really gutted me emotionally. Especially when the book talked about the birth families and how the remaining family members so heavily rely on the girls for financial support, or just wanting to be connected, when at first the girls were given away. Although these decisions were not made haphazardly, it’s still difficult to process someone giving you up, but then wanting you to be in their life and/or requesting that you provide for them since now you are in a better position.
Some of the topics discussed:
- White Savorism
- Colonization
- Capitalism
- Extortion
- Racism
- Imperialism
- Trauma
- Grief
- Loss
Overall, this book has many complexities that forces you to look at your bias, privilege, and station in life. There is so much to learn about adoptions, and the mechanism of orphanages, and relinquishing parental rights, etc. I highly encourage people to take this book and read thoroughly as you can see there are multiple pain points when dealing with adoption. Adoptions are not fairytale stories by a long shot, but there are good outcomes, and some not so good outcomes. I was deeply fascinated by the stories of these young women, and I hope this book inspires other transracial adoptees to share their story.
Thank you to Algonquin and the author Erika Hayasaki for this book in exchange for a fair and honest opinion.
One twin was given to an orphanage and adopted by an American (white) family. The other twin was given to their birth aunt and partner, who lived in Viet Nam.
Both twins had no knowledge of the other until their mid-childhood and met at the age of 13 for the first time.
This book shares the emotional rollercoaster of what adoption entails, reunions with birth families, the hardships and circumstances that sometimes occur when children are given up for adoption or sent to orphanages, and the continued issues that persist or develop due to being adopted in a family that is not racially the same (i.e., transracial adoptee).
Hayasaki also includes research surrounding other twins, who have been studied and details have been shared about their births and separations during their life, and it’s interesting to see how they have developed, modified behaviors, and/or accepted their life and adoption. The book shares details regarding transnational adoptions, white saviorism, and the manipulation/coercion/fraud that can surround many adoptions from overseas. Hayasaki brings up the 1970s’ “BabyLift” Operation that took thousands of kids from their country with hopes to give them a “better life.” However, we find out that many of these children were not orphans and their families were not well-informed on what was going to happen to them. What I learned indirectly from this book, is how many countries treat orphanages. Orphanages are not primarily for orphans exclusively, but for indigenous people who need respite or relief from parental responsibilities for a temporary amount of time. Sometimes, parents will come back for their child and find out their child has been adopted out of the country.
The story of adoptions and how many children are treated in these spaces came as a shock to me. I am not well-read on the goings on of adoptions and orphanages, but I can see how so much fraud, manipulation, capitalism, greed, and dishonesty can fall on places like this. Hayasaki does an excellent job though in catching us up with some of the history of transnational adoptions in places like Viet Nam, Korea, Africa, Australia, and other places in different parts of the world.
Ha, Loan (Isabella), Nhu (Olivia)’s stories were really emotionally compelling. I could literally read about their growth as independent women as the story progresses through their childhood to young adulthood, and it was fascinating to learn all the intricacies of how each person came to accept, adapt to, and overcome obstacles in their life because of the adoption that came into their lives. I was deeply sympathetic to Lien and her story and all of the hard decisions she had to make regards to giving up her children, and moving forward in life. Giving up any child for any reason is hard, and shouldn’t be taken lightly.
The story of the twins and how they were reared was fascinating to read. I was super intrigued with how they processed their reunion, how they processed learning the fact they had an identical twin, and going back to the country of their birth.
This story also made me feel uncomfortable for the awkwardness that transracial adoptees have to face. Having white parents, white siblings, and then having to face the world as a minority is super complex and difficult to navigate I presume. There were some real heavy emotions that were dealt with in this book, from Keely, to the girls, to their siblings, to the birth mothers, to the birth families… it was heart wrenching and difficult in some parts of this book that really gutted me emotionally. Especially when the book talked about the birth families and how the remaining family members so heavily rely on the girls for financial support, or just wanting to be connected, when at first the girls were given away. Although these decisions were not made haphazardly, it’s still difficult to process someone giving you up, but then wanting you to be in their life and/or requesting that you provide for them since now you are in a better position.
Some of the topics discussed:
- White Savorism
- Colonization
- Capitalism
- Extortion
- Racism
- Imperialism
- Trauma
- Grief
- Loss
Overall, this book has many complexities that forces you to look at your bias, privilege, and station in life. There is so much to learn about adoptions, and the mechanism of orphanages, and relinquishing parental rights, etc. I highly encourage people to take this book and read thoroughly as you can see there are multiple pain points when dealing with adoption. Adoptions are not fairytale stories by a long shot, but there are good outcomes, and some not so good outcomes. I was deeply fascinated by the stories of these young women, and I hope this book inspires other transracial adoptees to share their story.
Thank you to Algonquin and the author Erika Hayasaki for this book in exchange for a fair and honest opinion.
April 22, 2023
An interesting view of the pros and cons of transnational and transracial adoption, and of the science of twins.
May 7, 2023
Really interesting and I enjoyed the writing style, weaving in research and history of adoption and twin studies throughout the personal stories
December 1, 2025
I've always been fascinated by twins and then to hear stories of twins separated at birth, sign me up! The author does a good job of merging facts, research and information, with the personal stories of Ha, Isabella & Olivia, so the reader gets a good balance of objective learning and subjective experience. Overall an interesting book but didn't quite get me in the feels and felt dry at times. I didn't get an emotional connection to the women or families.
December 4, 2022
This book offers a truly personal glimpse into the world of adoption, adoptees and their struggle to find their place in the world. I was able to open my eyes towards a topic I usually never thought about. Through the eyes of Ha, Isabella, and Olivia, I was able to sympathize with them, cry with them, express anger against the many injustices and cruelty they were each subjected to. What really made the book a gem in my eyes was how enduring each of them were as a young child. The experiences they went through, although unfortunate, clearly shaped them into the strong, confident and virtuous women they are today. I am happy they decided to share their story with the world. I was able to relate to some of their experiences and seeing how they managed to survive and cope gave me strength for my inner struggling as well and I will always be grateful for that. I will be recommending this book to many people in the future.
January 17, 2025
Fascinating story of identical twins born to an impoverished mother in VietNam. One ended up in an orphanage and was adopted by a wealthy American family; the other was raised in the countryside by her maternal aunt and the aunt's partner. Amazing look at so many troubling aspects of international/intercountry adoption. The American parents, the Solimenes, are clearly well meaning but they don't really ever grapple with the trauma their girls (they also adopt another Vietnamese girl from the same orphanage) experience, or their white-savior role.
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