Sadie, Call The Polis

by Kirkland Ciccone

In 1976, a heatwave hot enough to melt concrete punishes Scotland. While everything burns, a woman arrives in Little Denny Road with a set of keys for her new council flat. She isn’t alone. Her two daughters are always by her side, except at night when they watch their mother drive off in a stranger’s car. Sadie, the youngest of the two daughters, thinks nothing of this until she’s asked a question at school. The answer will unleash consequences that echo through the decades. At the root of Sadie’s life is a disturbing secret that must be confronted. Evil, she’ll discover, is waiting seven miles south in a nice house… Sadie, Call The Polis is an offbeat story about a Scottish family as seen through the eyes of the indomitable Sadie Relish, whose journey from childhood to adulthood is rendered in hilarious, crushing detail. Her disastrous first date, the late nights at the bus stop with a bottle or two, running away from home, the many hangovers, her first and last job, grief, Covid, and all the drama and darkness squeezed in between.

Genres: Scotland, Historical Fiction

320 pages, Paperback

First published October 27, 2022

About the author

Kirkland always had an affinity for weirdos and strange things. His favourite movie as a child was Halloween and his favourite TV shows were Doctor Who, Twin Peaks, and The Ricki Lake Show. Books, however, were his obsession and main mode of escape. He had a bumpy upbringing. Noisy, busy, stressful – but never boring. His brother was an armed robber who wasn’t very good at his job. His sisters were cool and encouraging, often having parties while their mum was out. If Kirkland needed to be alone, he headed up to the library. The library was always his calm place and it was there he realised how much he wanted to have a book on a shelf.

His first novel for adults is Happiness Is Wasted On Me. It takes place in Scotland’s infamous ‘ugly’ town Cumbernauld. Set in the ’90s, it spans a decade in the life of asexual Walter Wedgeworth (hence the title being a pun on 'A Penis Is Wasted On Me'), who is trying to find his place in the world. But a dark discovery and his uniquely dysfunctional family don’t make things easy. With a backdrop of grunge, Britpop, New Labour, and The Spice Girls, this is a book very much of a time that no longer exists. His new novel is Sadie, Call The Polis about a girl living her worst life as she staggers from one bad choice to another until she finds the right direction.

Reviews

[Niamh · Rating 4 out of 5]

btec duck feet (i'm sorry)

▪️this reminded me so much of duck feet but a slightly more modern version with regards to COVID etc and i thought it was great
▪️i wish this was written in scots like duck feet - i appreciate mither and faither gave a hint towards the scots setting but i wish it just fully indulged in it's scottishness
▪️i enjoyed the full circle moment between her not understanding her mum and having a troubled upbringing to ultimately creating the cycle again

overall i'd recommend both sadie call the polis and duck feet if you want a scots read

[Georgia · Rating 5 out of 5]

Think this has to be up there as one of my favourites of all time. Was so funny to be able to read a book and recognise places down to the street names. The relationship between Sadie and her mum was a good mix between heartwarming and heartbreaking with comedy thrown in for good measure. This one definitely hit close to home for me.
The first half of the book was definitely stronger than the second but didn’t make me love it any less.

[Alex Nye · Rating 5 out of 5]

Sadie, Call the Polis is a dark comedy set in Scotland, where we follow the journey of offbeat heroine Sadie Relish. In 1976, a heatwave 'hot enough to melt concrete' descends on Scotland, and while everyone wilts in the heat, a woman arrives in Little Denny Road with the keys to her new council flat. She is glamorous, indomitable, fierce. In tow are her two daughters, the youngest of which is Sadie. We see everything through Sadie's eyes, who navigates the difficult path she's been given in life. Narrated with Kirkland's special brand of dark intelligent wit, Sadie herself shines through the pages as a likeable, brave, kind, patient character who always deserves better than she gets. I suppose she is a working-class hero (heroine), but the book is completely without self-pity or an agenda. It simply tells it as it is, raw, honest, hilariously funny, cuttingly accurate. I love the way Kirkland deals with sectarianism in such a fresh and invigoratingly funny way. Only humour can tell it accurately, such as when Sadie encounters her new father-in-law's hatred of anything green. In this way Kirkland (and Sadie) manage to highlight prejudice and ingrained assumptions with such effortless grace and wit. Sadie's mother is a sex worker, slipping out of the flat at night in order to feed and clothe and house her two daughters. Sadie watches what is going on around her, and tries to untangle the dark threads of her life. A terrible secret lurks at the heart of her life, but she deals with this the way she deals with everything else, with humour, courage and warrior-like strength. She's an ordinary young woman, like so many ordinary young women, dealing with difficult odds, who is actually extraordinary. Her patience and kindness at the end of the book really shine through. We see her navigate childhood, marriage, pregnancy, motherhood, divorce, single parenthood, and her journey takes her right up to the present day, past the ominous moment of March 2020. I loved this book, and I also loved the writing, which for me is always an essential part of any good read. If I don't like the writing style, then I can't enjoy it. But Kirkland's prose is right there, cutting a nice line through life's matter. Oh, and I also loved the descriptions of central Scotland's iconic landmarks, opening one chapter with a description of the 'two decapitated horse's heads through the windscreen.' Never have the infamous Kelpies (landmark of Falkirk) been described in such a way.

[Rachael · Rating 5 out of 5]

“If it is to be, it is up to me” ♥️

I don’t even know where to begin with this one. I fell in LOVE with it immediately. When I finished I instantly wished I could wipe my memory and go back and start all over again. I love a book set In Scotland, it’s like a little comfort blanket for me. It also helps that I can relate to so much of the surroundings. The writing is beautiful, the characters are wonderful and complex, and I ended the book feeling like Sadie was my pal. I could gush over this book all day but you’ll just have to go and read it for yourself so you can gush over it too!

I need Kirkland to keep writing more books so I can have more imaginary pals from books!

☆ ☆ ☆ ☆ ☆

[Keen Reader · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 Stars!

CLEARANCE IS MY FAVOURITE DESIGNER LABEL

“The tree outside my window was the tallest I’d ever seen. Somehow this tree had survived every storm in living memory, and it would probably survive many more to come. Around these parts, we called it Auld Sybil, because like every rural town, we had traditions that must be upheld, even at the cost of logic and meaning. For us, it was a symbol of power, magic and weirdness. Nobody outside Denny could possibly understand the tree. We didn’t understand it ourselves.”

This is a well-crafted story laced with plenty of dark humour, filled with all the magical mysteries and trapdoors that fill the world and imagination of children as they move through their formative years, trying to work it out and make sense of it all. Ciccone captures the thrill and novelty of the new, and the weight and power of fear and the huge shadow it can cast over the mind of a child.

“Even his post-coital chit-chat felt relentlessly over dramatic, reducing me to an audience of one in a theatre with bolted doors.”

We see the world through the eyes of Sadie, who seeks adventure, or escape from the suffocating parochialism of a small town’s rules and restrictions and its poisonous small-mindedness and the tyranny of its gossip. She has to learn to be on the look-out for predators, frenemies and keep in mind that sometimes those closest to you can hurt you the most. All along she’s determined not to be just another victim imprisoned by a lifetime of poor decisions and bad habits as a lifestyle choice.

“Every time something happened that I disagreed with, my feelings were immediately disregarded with two small words: it’s natural. When Uncle Tam bent over and farted? Or Lily clipped her toenails on the couch while we watched the telly? Mother walking around without clothes? These things were natural. I couldn’t win. Winning for me was unnatural.”

Ciccone’s observations are exceptional, the way he captures every grain, nuance and detail of the west of Scotland vernacular combined with his authentic ear for the pop culture of the 80s and 90s is just such a treat to take in. Though one glaring glitch in the avalanche of nostalgia is during one scene in 1988 where they are watching “Gladiators”, but alas this didn’t begin to air on UK TV until 1992. But editorial oversights aside this is a great read.

“No matter what happened through the week, every teen in Scotland knew Friday was about getting drunk and hanging around the streets, no matter the weather. Usually, it was cold. And wet. But none of us cared.”

[Jennifer Mcarthur · Rating 2 out of 5]

2.5 ⭐️

Happiness is wasted on me was one of my favourites last year but this just did not land for me. A lot of the humour and character of Sadie I found a bit all over the place as she aged, which leads on to my second issue the time jumps really were not for me it jumped that many times in the second half it felt like information being placed without emotion.

It was nice being able to read a book and know exactly where the author is describing, the streets, and the culture but this again I thought was too heavy handed. Cultural references were just littered the whole way through and felt outside of the story especially in the chapters discussing the 90s. Sadly just don’t think this is my kind of writing style a lot of the character growth got lost in this disjointed storytelling.

[Ross · Rating 5 out of 5]

A brilliant tour through the life of Sadie. Despite the heavier themes and events of the book, the narration is so well written and alive, it has a joyous feeling to it.

[Beth Mackay · Rating 4 out of 5]

definitely a very exciting new author for me !

[Véro · Rating 4 out of 5]

It felt good to read a book that's miles away from a fairy tale. I loved Ciccone's writing style and how it allowed me to immerse myself in the Scottish culture of the past few decades. A truly enjoyable read!

[Annette · Rating 4 out of 5]

4.5 stars

[Lynsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

I first came across Kirkland’s work when I read ‘Happiness is Wasted On Me’ as part of the Scottish Book Club so as soon I saw this book I jumped at the chance of reading it! It did not disappoint. ‘Sadie, Call The Polis’ has the irreverent charm that oozes out of Kirkland as a person saturated into its pages. It's funny, clever, witty and not afraid to tackle dark issues but yet when you read the final page you are left with a feeling of hope.

‘Sadie, Call the Polis’ follows it's heroine from 1976 when the family arrives on Little Denny Road to the present day covering a breadth of topics such as sex work, addiction, deprivation, gender identity, abuse, and relationships with family to name but a few! The story is told through Sadie’s eyes and I ended up loving her voice. The book opens with Sadie announcing to her whole class unabashedly that her mum is a prostitute which causes a ruckus! This sets the tone for the rest of the book. Sadie exists in her own world of fairies and magic in order to cope with life as a kid. Growing up slightly different is tough and this is her way of mitigating and understanding the world in which she lives. She deserves better that her lot in life and this book pulls no punches when we age alongside her. But it does so by creating humour out of the darkness, by finding issues that a lot of readers will identify with or at least emphasise.

This book follows me and my life story in some ways. I was born in Falkirk, have family in Knightswood, live on Nithsdale Road, and unfortunately, my mum died of lung cancer. That part of the book I did read with some tears as Kirkland depicted the emotions and reactions spot on. The scene where Sadie’s mum is putting on her make up determined to be herself and give her a bit of self-confidence broke me. It reminded me so much of my mum going out and buying new clothes even though she knew she was dying. Same folks, different strokes. That whole section of the book was a triumph in my eyes. Also, I was not let into my Uncle’s house once as I was wearing a green coat due to his love of Rangers 🤣

Kirkland’s writing has matured and grown since HIWOM and now comes across as a confident author who knows his style and is running with it. His descriptions of locations were on point, his characters outwith Sadie were also well-rounded and complex, especially her mum and childhood friend. I don't think I have read a better eulogy to the Kelpies as this - ‘two decapitated horse’s heads through the windscreen’! His use of Scots was effortlessly inserted into the prose and I didn't notice it being troubling to a non Scots reader. Also, round of applause for using Scots and being one of those authors who is campaigning it's use in our modern and diverse literature in Scotland!

I actually could talk for hours about this book! Roll on the next adventure.

[Jessica · Rating 4 out of 5]

🎉BOOK TOUR STOP ALERT 🎉

Sadie, Call the Polis by Kirkland Ciccone

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

Thank you to @lovebookstours for my gifted copy.

My thoughts: Wow! What a fun Scottish novel of an offbeat family! I didn’t know if I would like the characters but I truly loved it! Excellent story-telling!! Sadie was a revelation as a character! Well done!

Blurb 

From the author of Happiness is Wasted on Me

In 1976, a heatwave, scorching enough to melt concrete, punishes everyone in Scotland. At the same time, a woman arrives in Little Denny Road with a set of keys for her new flat. She isn’t alone. Her two daughters are always by her side, except at night-time when they watch their mither drive off in a stranger’s car. 
Sadie, the youngest of the two daughters, thinks nothing of this until the day she’s asked a question at school. The answer she gives starts a revolution in her life that lasts 
decades. At the root of her existence is a secret with a horrific impact, one Sadie will eventually confront fist to face.
Sadie, Call The Polis is an offbeat story about a Scottish family as seen through the eyes of the indomitable Sadie Relish, whose journey from childhood to adulthood is rendered in hilarious, sometimes crushing detail. From her doomed first date, the time she ran away from home, those nights spent at the bus stop with a bottle or two, the hangovers, her first and last job, trying to avoid Covid, and all the drama squeezed in between. This is a book about a girl making the best of what she’s got to win at life.

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[Nicole Caratas · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was a raw and real and darkly funny coming-of-age story. Our protagonist, Sadie, goes from a young girl who believes in magic to a young woman who has to deal with a lot of really bad shit in her life, to a fully-formed woman who might not have a perfect life but who you just know will turn out okay. Most of the side characters are complicated at best and horrific at worst. It's definitely the kind of book that makes you think deeply about a person's experiences and how it affects their lives. Most of the characters from the start are portrayed negatively, only to have their arc completed in a way that makes you at least sympathise with them. Some characters are irredeemable from the start, and the author handled this perfectly. It's almost cyclical the way some issues and characters fade to the back and then are shot back to the forefront – which felt very true to life. This is not the kind of book that has a happily ever after, but it doesn't have a sadly ever after either. It ends the way it is told: you know the characters will go on and will have their ups and their downs. The ending is oddly hopeful, even with a big issue left unresolved for the reader (but don't worry it's in a good way I think!)

There's not much to complain about. It did feel like at points, time moved very quickly and Sadie aged a lot without really getting a sense of what happened during those times. Especially towards the end, it feels like a bit short of a novel for just how many years it spans. Also totally a personal thing, but the retrospective POV didn't always quite hit the mark for me.

That being said, this was a fast-paced read that I would definitely recommend!

[Lauren coffeebooksandescape · Rating 3 out of 5]

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝗪𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀: Alcoholism, anxiety, cancer, death, cheating, drugs, sexual abuse (incestuous)

“𝘐𝘧 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘵𝘰 𝘣𝘦, 𝘪𝘵 𝘪𝘴 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘮𝘦.”

✮ ✮ ✮

*** 𝐚𝐧𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟑 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰. 𝐈 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐫 𝐚 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐚 𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞-𝐧𝐞𝐮𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐥 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰.

I had the perfect review written but accidentally deleted it when I thought I was copying it, but instead pasted what was on my clipboard, so lets hope I can do it justice a second time around. Sadie, Call the Polis is a heartbreaking but hilarious book that will have you crying and laughing while a girl makes the best of what she has in life, I just felt it needed a happier ending.

I went into this book blind from the cover alone, and I’m glad I did. I don’t think the blurb does this justice. It’s a heavy read but with some great humour inserted to try and lighten it up. It’s perfect for fans of Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine and will have you learning life lessons from Sadie, even if it’s what NOT to do!!

Thank you to Love Books Tours for my spot on the tour, and Fledgling Press and Kirkland Ciccone for the gifted copy.

𝐈 𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐞𝐢𝐯𝐞𝐝 𝐚 𝐜𝐨𝐩𝐲 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐟𝐫𝐞𝐞, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐈 𝐚𝐦 𝐥𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐯𝐢𝐞𝐰 𝐯𝐨𝐥𝐮𝐧𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐢𝐥𝐲.

[David Johnston · Rating 5 out of 5]

What a journey this book is - a definite 5 star read.

I started the book cackling with laughter (my wife can confirm) and ended it full of a sort of hard to pin down melancholic pride. I loved going through life with Sadie and this was one of those books that just feels so real and I truly connected with it. At times I saw myself in Sadie and at times I saw myself in the people around Sadie. Growing up in a scheme I 100% interacted with families like the Relishes and the Donaldsons.

The way in which Kirkland Ciccone writes about growing up around some pretty harrowing life circumstances with an imagination led naïveté removing all situational gravity was just a mirror of my childhood in so many ways. Sadie is a really likeable character and her development into adulthood where responsibilities beckon and the weight of the world makes itself known is written in a way that is the opposite of miserable - in spite of everything that happens - so it never comes off as a woe-is-me tale, but rather quite an empowering one. Really impressed by this and devoured it over two days between study breaks!

[Laura · Rating 4 out of 5]

The year is 1976, we meet Sadie, her mum and sister as they move into a new flat. The story takes us on a dark and emotional journey as Sadie deals with the dreadful hand she has been dealt in life. Her mum is a sex worker and when this gets around the school Sadie is attending the reaction is as you would expect, this has a impact on Sadie and things just seem to go from bad to worse.

The story deals sensitivity with a variety of issues such as sex work, addiction, depression, poverty, gender identity plus many more, it’s a proper soap like family drama which could easily be made into a film.

As the story progresses we learn with Sadie that every hand in life can be a winner, you just need to know how to play your hand. As a character Sadie is sweet, kind and empathetic, I liked her for who she was and who she had the guts to become.

The balance of humor and the emotional baggage Sadie has to carry throughout the story is just right. This is a very well written and thoughtful piece of work which I highly recommend picking up!

[Bianca Duthie · Rating 4 out of 5]

This is one of those books that you won't forget in a hurry.
With emotion, humour, heartbreak and soul, this tale has everything AND the kitchen sink!
There's no speech marks throughout, this is something I've seen in many recent novels but it still takes a little getting used to.
There's some local dialect in the text so while I understood it fine, I could see how a non-Scot could have trouble sometimes.
The story follows Sadie from childhood right through to middle age, describing her life growing up in a poor family, in a deprived area, with trauma, abuse and addiction riddling her and her family.
You might think her mother is a horrible person until you are over half way through the book. Do not judge a person until you have walked a mile in their shoes.
The story ends just on a normal day, there is no tying up of everything in a neat bow, the author depicts how life goes and sometimes it isn't a happy ending.
A really captivating read.

[theweebookworm · Rating 4 out of 5]

Well, where do I start!

We are introduced to Sadie, her mother and sister as they move into a new flat in 1976. Sadie's mother is a sex worker and when she says this out loud, in school, the reaction this causes leaves an impact on Sadie for life. In amongst this she discovers a shocking secret in her past.

I was drawn into the book and felt some of it was very relatable. Sadie is such a caring, strong and resilient character which was evident throughout. She has been given such a raw deal in life but deals with it in her own style. I was a similar age in that era and enjoyed the sarcastic wit and references to the areas it was set in. It is raw, full of dark humour and touches on some really sensitive topics. It was a book I couldn't put down as I was so invested in Sadie.

[Sarah · Rating 4 out of 5]

This author has a really unique and striking style of describing things. I love when people are able to identify and articulate emotions/observations in a way that feels brand new.

Another excellent addition to the canon of bleak Central Scotland literature. I liked the dry humour and the cultural references. Sadly, a lot of the chat about sectarianism, for example, was all-too relatable.

My only bone to pick with this book is the pacing. I felt like the first half covered much less time than the second, and sometimes I was thrown by how far in the future we had suddenly travelled. I also don’t think the retrospective narration was consistently applied.

But I read it eagerly and cared about the characters, so it’s a minor gripe.

[Hannah Grimshaw · Rating 4 out of 5]

This book is brilliant. I laughed, I cried, and I gasped - a lot. By the end of the second chapter I couldn't put it down. I would recommend going into this story blind - however if you want some info- it is about Sadie who tells us about her life from primary school to the trails of adulthood with a focus on family dynamics which shift as she grows. Sadie doesn't live an easy life but Ciccone doesn't depress the reader, instead he injects humour at just the right moments to balance the novel while surprising the readers with all the crazy twists and turns which real life throws at us. A new one I'll be recommending and Ciccone is one to watch!

4 stars!

[kirsty · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was an enjoyable read that was raw and brutally honest and at times darkly funny. I thought the writing style was good and it kept me engaged, the story was compelling and the characters were well developed. I was gripped and had to keep reading to find out about the secret that sits in her life like a dark unwelcome relative.
The book is also full of vivid and again brutally honest/funny descriptions of the world and famous landmarks around her.
A good read that I would recommend.

[Victoria Gemmell · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book last year and it was one of my favourite reads. Kirkland has such an original, witty voice. The character of Sadie was written with a lot of heart and the story explores dark issues with sensitivity. Hilarious one-liners offered light relief and an authentic reflection of Scottish humour. Looking forward to whatever is next!

[Dave Ross · Rating 2 out of 5]

Not for me

I'm a sucker for punishment. I kept ditching this book but I hate wastage of quitting , I'd started worst obliged to finish. I know there. Is a huge market for misery it just not for me. Not in this dosage.

[Skye MacDonald · Rating 4 out of 5]

A really lovely piece of fiction. I enjoyed reading about the area I have been living in for seven months, especially through such a poetic lens. I did find it a little too bleak at points but overall loved the character of Sadie and reading about her life felt very special.

[Pamela Boyle · Rating 5 out of 5]

Absolutely loved this book couldn't put it down I finished in 3 days and what Sadie went through I felt for her great book highly recommend

[Angelina · Rating 5 out of 5]

Completely loved this! It’s giving Angus, Thongs, and Full-Frontal Snogging but Scottish, a touch more serious, and spanning decades.

[Abbie Blackwood · Rating 5 out of 5]

Funny book. Easy to read. In my early 30s and from the central belt- lots of landmarks and trends resonated with me.

[Haylie · Rating 4 out of 5]

Only loses a star because it’s dark and I like my books light

[O · Rating 4 out of 5]

there’s something supremely magical about reading a book set where you live. what do u mean sadie’s cutting about ma bit?