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Calm the Chaos: A Fail-Proof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids
A simple, fail-proof road map for parents raising even the most challenging children from the founder of the life-changing Calm the Chaos methodology and the Lemon Lime Adventures blog.
Strong-willed, spirited, explosive, and highly sensitive are just a few of the most common labels for challenging kids. Whether your child has been diagnosed with a behavioral condition, labeled, or is just harder than other children you’ve met, you are in luck. Parenting expert, Dayna Abraham is here to help.
Calm the Chaos is a clearly organized, methodical approach to parenting. Dayna has created a road map to help parents find peace and meet their kids where they are at when conventional parenting tools have failed. There are five steps to calming the chaos—Getting to Safety, Restoring Trust and Energy, Finding Calm in the Moment, Getting Ahead of the Moment, and Defining Family Success. Each step employs a framework that is easy to remember, even when emotions run you ground yourself, you connect with your kid, you work with them to understand the catalyst and the issue at the heart, and then together you get curious about finding an empowered solution.
Backed by science and tested by hundreds of thousands of families, Calm the Chaos is a revolutionary road map complete with in-the-trenches stories, scripts, prompts, and worksheets that make it simple for parents to build a safe home and support healthy kids.
Strong-willed, spirited, explosive, and highly sensitive are just a few of the most common labels for challenging kids. Whether your child has been diagnosed with a behavioral condition, labeled, or is just harder than other children you’ve met, you are in luck. Parenting expert, Dayna Abraham is here to help.
Calm the Chaos is a clearly organized, methodical approach to parenting. Dayna has created a road map to help parents find peace and meet their kids where they are at when conventional parenting tools have failed. There are five steps to calming the chaos—Getting to Safety, Restoring Trust and Energy, Finding Calm in the Moment, Getting Ahead of the Moment, and Defining Family Success. Each step employs a framework that is easy to remember, even when emotions run you ground yourself, you connect with your kid, you work with them to understand the catalyst and the issue at the heart, and then together you get curious about finding an empowered solution.
Backed by science and tested by hundreds of thousands of families, Calm the Chaos is a revolutionary road map complete with in-the-trenches stories, scripts, prompts, and worksheets that make it simple for parents to build a safe home and support healthy kids.
344 pages, Kindle Edition
Published August 15, 2023
226 people are currently reading
869 people want to read
About the author
Dayna Abraham
7 books22 followersDayna Abraham, bestselling author of The Superkids Activity Guide to Conquering Every Day and Sensory Processing 101, is on a mission to create a more accepting world, one challenging kid at a time. Her latest book, Calm the Chaos: A Failproof Roadmap for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids will be released August 15th.
As a National Board Certified educator, parent of three neurodivergent children, and an ADHD adult herself, Dayna brings a unique and out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in the modern world. She is the founder of the popular parenting website Lemon Lime Adventures, which has accumulated more than forty-one million viewers in less than seven years.
Through her compassionate framework, Calm the Chaos, she has helped millions of desperate parents around the world, find peace and meet their children where they're at when conventional parenting tools have failed them.
With a weekly reach of more than 1.2 million people on social media, and more than two hundred thousand parents attending her Calm the Chaos free workshop, she has become a proven and trusted leader in the parenting community.
Her work has been showcased in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, BuzzFeed, ADDitude Magazine, and Parents Magazine and Lifehacker. She lives in Little Rock, Arkansas with her three amazing children, her husband, Jason, and two huge Newfoundland puppies, Luna and Koda.
As a National Board Certified educator, parent of three neurodivergent children, and an ADHD adult herself, Dayna brings a unique and out-of-the-box perspective to parents raising kids in the modern world. She is the founder of the popular parenting website Lemon Lime Adventures, which has accumulated more than forty-one million viewers in less than seven years.
Through her compassionate framework, Calm the Chaos, she has helped millions of desperate parents around the world, find peace and meet their children where they're at when conventional parenting tools have failed them.
With a weekly reach of more than 1.2 million people on social media, and more than two hundred thousand parents attending her Calm the Chaos free workshop, she has become a proven and trusted leader in the parenting community.
Her work has been showcased in HuffPost, Scary Mommy, BuzzFeed, ADDitude Magazine, and Parents Magazine and Lifehacker. She lives in Little Rock, Arkansas with her three amazing children, her husband, Jason, and two huge Newfoundland puppies, Luna and Koda.
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Displaying 1 - 30 of 89 reviews
September 14, 2023
I had originally written a much more critical review, which Dayna Abraham graciously responded to point by point. In light of our conversation, I am changing my review to reflect my new understanding.
This book is written to meet struggling parents early in their understanding of neurodiversity where they are at. It succeeds at that, as shown by the many five star reviews. This is a good book to check out if you are floundering and new to the world of neurodiversity.
I personally found this book frustrating because I have a hard time with calls for incremental change. I want big changes in understanding for neurodivergent kids.
I originally had called Dayna out in a way that suggested she didn't understand the ableism inherent in things like expecting kids to take a bath everyday or outdated labels like ODD. Our conversation made clear that she does understand the need for big shifts in understanding and she has a method for helping parents get there, which is needed.
That said, I would have liked to see more of a call to action for a radical lens shift in her book. My concern about "meeting people where they are at" is that if we don't radically question social norms, they won't change.
So my suggestion to struggling parents is to read this book and see what is helpful, but also read other books which push harder on questioning basic assumptions about parenting and life.
Ross Greene's "Raising Human Beings," "Beyond Behaviors" by Mona Delahooke, "Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors" by Robyn Gobbel, "Your Child is Not Broken" by Heidi Mavir, and "Low Demand Parenting" by Amanda Diekman are a few good ones.
This book has a place too. Just don't stop there!
This book is written to meet struggling parents early in their understanding of neurodiversity where they are at. It succeeds at that, as shown by the many five star reviews. This is a good book to check out if you are floundering and new to the world of neurodiversity.
I personally found this book frustrating because I have a hard time with calls for incremental change. I want big changes in understanding for neurodivergent kids.
I originally had called Dayna out in a way that suggested she didn't understand the ableism inherent in things like expecting kids to take a bath everyday or outdated labels like ODD. Our conversation made clear that she does understand the need for big shifts in understanding and she has a method for helping parents get there, which is needed.
That said, I would have liked to see more of a call to action for a radical lens shift in her book. My concern about "meeting people where they are at" is that if we don't radically question social norms, they won't change.
So my suggestion to struggling parents is to read this book and see what is helpful, but also read other books which push harder on questioning basic assumptions about parenting and life.
Ross Greene's "Raising Human Beings," "Beyond Behaviors" by Mona Delahooke, "Raising Kids with Big, Baffling Behaviors" by Robyn Gobbel, "Your Child is Not Broken" by Heidi Mavir, and "Low Demand Parenting" by Amanda Diekman are a few good ones.
This book has a place too. Just don't stop there!
August 5, 2023
This book is a parenting game-changer. I know because I found myself in a similar place, with a child who had behaviors neither I nor others understood. I wanted so desperately to be a "gentler" parent, but kept coming up short and losing my cool.
Dayna Abraham's book is the first mass-market resource I've found to acknowledge that parents can only give what they already have inside. Rather than feeling shamed for not being able to maintain my cool or like I've failed again, Calm the Chaos showed me how to look at ALL the needs in my family - my own included - and not just those of my most struggling kiddo. The way she works through plans with visuals and examples helped me to see the ways I could shore up myself and the rest of the family to meet our challenges together, as a team. "...your child needs to be seen, heard, understood, and empowered." Our whole family has benefited from this system and I can't wait to see what it does for others.
I could go on - but whether you're a verbal or visual learner, Dayna's thought of everything and truly laid out a map for building the family and life of your dreams, even if you have struggles that feel insurmountable.
Dayna Abraham's book is the first mass-market resource I've found to acknowledge that parents can only give what they already have inside. Rather than feeling shamed for not being able to maintain my cool or like I've failed again, Calm the Chaos showed me how to look at ALL the needs in my family - my own included - and not just those of my most struggling kiddo. The way she works through plans with visuals and examples helped me to see the ways I could shore up myself and the rest of the family to meet our challenges together, as a team. "...your child needs to be seen, heard, understood, and empowered." Our whole family has benefited from this system and I can't wait to see what it does for others.
I could go on - but whether you're a verbal or visual learner, Dayna's thought of everything and truly laid out a map for building the family and life of your dreams, even if you have struggles that feel insurmountable.
August 1, 2023
This book is a game changer! If your tiny humans are bundles of chaos, you need this information.
It’s a simple roadmap, yet not a one size fits all solution. The Framework lays out in a way that is designed to be tailored to your individual family and situations.
For my family the framework tools are used differently for each child and yet it is cohesive and builds each person up. We went from 3 hour tantrums daily if not more, to rare occasions.
This book needs to replace all the parenting classics written in the last century. This actually works to accomplish calm while teaching your children necessary skills, like setting boundaries and looking beyond the surface, respecting themselves and others beyond the surface acts (sir and ma’am ect.)
Get this book! Read it and put it work. It will change your world. And then share it. Put it in the hands of everyone who interacts with your child on a daily basis.
It’s a simple roadmap, yet not a one size fits all solution. The Framework lays out in a way that is designed to be tailored to your individual family and situations.
For my family the framework tools are used differently for each child and yet it is cohesive and builds each person up. We went from 3 hour tantrums daily if not more, to rare occasions.
This book needs to replace all the parenting classics written in the last century. This actually works to accomplish calm while teaching your children necessary skills, like setting boundaries and looking beyond the surface, respecting themselves and others beyond the surface acts (sir and ma’am ect.)
Get this book! Read it and put it work. It will change your world. And then share it. Put it in the hands of everyone who interacts with your child on a daily basis.
July 25, 2023
I wish I had this book 10 years ago when my eldest first started struggling with behaviour. I love the way the steps are broken down into achievable pieces, the doodles really help with understanding the concepts, for even the busiest parents who barely have a minute to focus. It's written with such insight and hope. This book should be handed out in maternity departments at every hospital in the world!
September 28, 2024
I am so grateful for this book. This is the parenting book I wish I'd had 14 years ago when my son was born. None of the typical parenting suggestions worked with him and as soon as he started school the challenges became even more apparent.
Reading Calm the Chaos and finding strategies that actually work with our child is re-affirming and relieving. And Calm the Chaos provides the scaffolding to help all parents, caregivers, teachers to take the next step in supporting the kids they care about. The storms are going to come. This book provides the resources needed to not only survive the storms but to thrive.
Reading Calm the Chaos and finding strategies that actually work with our child is re-affirming and relieving. And Calm the Chaos provides the scaffolding to help all parents, caregivers, teachers to take the next step in supporting the kids they care about. The storms are going to come. This book provides the resources needed to not only survive the storms but to thrive.
August 3, 2023
In Calm the Chaos, I finally found the book I have been searching for in my over 20 years of parenting. I can say it is a MUST read for anyone, who has any interactions with children.
No chaos causer is too big or small. It has practical action steps, many real-life examples, scripts and plans to follow.
The fabulous doodles make it stand out from other books I have read. The visual reminders helped me remember and clarify the information. I feel confident that I can use this book as a practical tool.
It is written in a sensitive, nonjudgmental way. It takes everyone’s perspective and needs into account. It addresses how parenting has changed over the years and is based on the latest science and research.
It will stretch your thinking, sometimes out of your comfort zone, but it will help you make real progress towards the family life you did not think was possible before. You quickly realise as you read, that it can be used for people of all ages.
I was in tears, after only reading a few pages, as the stories told are real and relatable, but it is the most hopeful and positive parenting book, I have ever read.
This is much more than a parenting book directed towards children with challenging behaviours. It is a way of living a life where everyone in your family feels seen, heard, and valued.
Apart from being a parent of a neurodivergent teenager myself, I also work as an Educational Assistant, in a school. The Calm the Chaos framework helps me in my job every day. This brilliantly innovative book could radically change the current method of “behaviour management” still being taught and used in many schools.
I am truly grateful, that Dayna has finally shared her Calm the Chaos framework.
I wish for this book to be the manual on how to understand challenging behaviours, to be used by all professionals, and for it to be given as a loving gift to all new parents, carers, and friends worldwide. It is needed!
No chaos causer is too big or small. It has practical action steps, many real-life examples, scripts and plans to follow.
The fabulous doodles make it stand out from other books I have read. The visual reminders helped me remember and clarify the information. I feel confident that I can use this book as a practical tool.
It is written in a sensitive, nonjudgmental way. It takes everyone’s perspective and needs into account. It addresses how parenting has changed over the years and is based on the latest science and research.
It will stretch your thinking, sometimes out of your comfort zone, but it will help you make real progress towards the family life you did not think was possible before. You quickly realise as you read, that it can be used for people of all ages.
I was in tears, after only reading a few pages, as the stories told are real and relatable, but it is the most hopeful and positive parenting book, I have ever read.
This is much more than a parenting book directed towards children with challenging behaviours. It is a way of living a life where everyone in your family feels seen, heard, and valued.
Apart from being a parent of a neurodivergent teenager myself, I also work as an Educational Assistant, in a school. The Calm the Chaos framework helps me in my job every day. This brilliantly innovative book could radically change the current method of “behaviour management” still being taught and used in many schools.
I am truly grateful, that Dayna has finally shared her Calm the Chaos framework.
I wish for this book to be the manual on how to understand challenging behaviours, to be used by all professionals, and for it to be given as a loving gift to all new parents, carers, and friends worldwide. It is needed!
July 26, 2023
Calm the Chaos is a book that shares a solid framework which provides parents with tools to create the family life that they want, even in the middle of the toughest situations. Actually this book is for everyone who lives, works or has interactions with children. I love this book! It is an easy read with clear guides and realistic action steps that are so simple that everyone can take. I like the way this book is set out with each section following the same framework. Dayna's doodles are really cute and add clarity to the concepts set out in the book. Real life examples show how the CTC framework can be used in any situation and give me a sense of not being alone in the journey of parenting out of the box kids. I highly recommend this book for all parents, as Dayna gives us hope and confidence to create the best life for us and our families.
August 12, 2023
A MUST READ for any who parent, work with, live with, or know children!!
The Calm the Chaos road-map has made the biggest difference in my life as a parent and human. Each stage of the road map has met me with understanding and empowerment, allowing me to keep moving my family and myself forward into the direction of our shared values and goals. Having children who are neurodiverse (and being a neurodivergent parent) means there have been numerous obstacles and challenges along the journey that other parenting guides/literature/therapies fail to address or consider. Dayna has broken the barriers with this road-map, creating a framework that meets each person right where they are with compassion, understanding, and motivation. I have no problem recommending this book to friends, family, therapists, educators, or anyone who has children in their lives. I believe the world will be a much better place as we start to engage in relationships (parenting and otherwise) using the Calm the Chaos model.
The Calm the Chaos road-map has made the biggest difference in my life as a parent and human. Each stage of the road map has met me with understanding and empowerment, allowing me to keep moving my family and myself forward into the direction of our shared values and goals. Having children who are neurodiverse (and being a neurodivergent parent) means there have been numerous obstacles and challenges along the journey that other parenting guides/literature/therapies fail to address or consider. Dayna has broken the barriers with this road-map, creating a framework that meets each person right where they are with compassion, understanding, and motivation. I have no problem recommending this book to friends, family, therapists, educators, or anyone who has children in their lives. I believe the world will be a much better place as we start to engage in relationships (parenting and otherwise) using the Calm the Chaos model.
August 14, 2023
They say "don't judge a book by it's cover", but in this case you can!
This book is easy to read, has great visuals (doodles) and the bite sized steps make it manageable to implement. The You Cue framework is a game changer and can be applied to any interaction or situation.
If everyday feels like a battle with your kids, this is the book for you!
Just like the cover states, following this system will enable you to bring calm to the chaos in your life and guide you to having the connected family you have been dreaming of. You will learn effective ways to communicate with your children and defuse the aggression in those tense moments.
This book is a must read for every parent and anyone who cares for or works with children.
This book is easy to read, has great visuals (doodles) and the bite sized steps make it manageable to implement. The You Cue framework is a game changer and can be applied to any interaction or situation.
If everyday feels like a battle with your kids, this is the book for you!
Just like the cover states, following this system will enable you to bring calm to the chaos in your life and guide you to having the connected family you have been dreaming of. You will learn effective ways to communicate with your children and defuse the aggression in those tense moments.
This book is a must read for every parent and anyone who cares for or works with children.
January 12, 2024
This book is seriously amazing. As the parent of a "challenging" kid, I feel like the author was speaking directly to me throughout this book. I'm purchasing a copy for myself as a resource to reference as needed!
July 28, 2023
I found the calm the chaos workshop in a time of great need!! I have two kids currently, and one struggles greatly with life and makes me suffer for it. My husband and I were at a loss, but then I found this CTC parenting style. I am currently only working on the first phase which teaches you how to control your mom bursts and increase your energy. I've seent he whole program, however, and it is perfect for busy moms. It is a great resource that you tailor to you and your family. And you just work on small steps at a time as not to get overwhelmed. And in the book, Dayna gives you insight to her own personal journey as well as others she has helped. So far, it has given me light in a dark tunnel and has given me a sort of community that I have never had. This is worth a try and the book is written in little chunks so you can just take a paragraph at a time and it gives you home work as you go. It gives you a way to find out why your kids are having a hard time, this giving you a hard time and a way through it. I hope you take this journey and stop the chaos in your life and break the old parenting thoughts and ways!!
July 30, 2023
My son was "one of those kids". We searched for years to find some answers on how to help him thrive and it wasn't until I found Dayna that we found hope.
That is what this book is. Hope. A solid plan. In a time when the parenting world seems so divided and none of the "advice" worked for our family, Dayna saved us. And I truly believe this will change parenting and care giving which will change the world.
And now, that life changing information is in an easy, affordable, shareable book!
With cute doodles, small sections and stories that remind you that other people are in the same storms, this is a book that is easily read through.
Where a lot of parenting advice focuses on how to "make" our kids behave, this shares how we can look at ourselves and our mindset to see our children and their behaviors differently. And when we see them differently we can respond to those "misbehavior" in a different way-a more empowering, problem solving, way for everyone involved.
When you've been stuck for so long, it shares how to move forward. With plans that start where you are. For me, that was in the middle of deep survival mode with no idea how to handle my sons meltdowns. One of the biggest pieces for me was the solid method to release frustrations and keep my calm in those big scary moments or in just the everyday little chaos. Once I started practicing (because let's face it, you have to actually practice out of the moment and implement things for them to get better) my anchor and using the tools to survive the storm, I found that our storms weren't so debilitating. Then we were able to move on to finding ways to actually solve those storms. Our home today is vastly different. And while we keep coming upon new storms, we have a map out of those storms. A plan that brings us closer as a family and teaches and skill builds that we all need for life.
This has also helped me tremendously with myself and in my other adult relationships and I would read it even if I didn't have children. I can keep calm and hold space for family when they call to vent. Understand that all behavior is communication when I'm dealing with difficult people and set my own plans to get through uncomfortable situations. And I am teaching my kids how to do the same for their own lives.
It has the power to change your life too. Seriously, apply this framework to yourself, make yourself the focus and see how it can change your life. I am currently using it for my own burnout to really understand myself and make the changes I need to move forward and it has helped way more than any of the hundreds of articles on burnout that I have read through.
I will keep using this framework for life. I have used it for school issues, meltdowns, burnout, sleep struggles, rough toddler times and disagreements with my spouse. It really can be applied to everything and gives you a way to keep moving that makes lasting changes.
That is what this book is. Hope. A solid plan. In a time when the parenting world seems so divided and none of the "advice" worked for our family, Dayna saved us. And I truly believe this will change parenting and care giving which will change the world.
And now, that life changing information is in an easy, affordable, shareable book!
With cute doodles, small sections and stories that remind you that other people are in the same storms, this is a book that is easily read through.
Where a lot of parenting advice focuses on how to "make" our kids behave, this shares how we can look at ourselves and our mindset to see our children and their behaviors differently. And when we see them differently we can respond to those "misbehavior" in a different way-a more empowering, problem solving, way for everyone involved.
When you've been stuck for so long, it shares how to move forward. With plans that start where you are. For me, that was in the middle of deep survival mode with no idea how to handle my sons meltdowns. One of the biggest pieces for me was the solid method to release frustrations and keep my calm in those big scary moments or in just the everyday little chaos. Once I started practicing (because let's face it, you have to actually practice out of the moment and implement things for them to get better) my anchor and using the tools to survive the storm, I found that our storms weren't so debilitating. Then we were able to move on to finding ways to actually solve those storms. Our home today is vastly different. And while we keep coming upon new storms, we have a map out of those storms. A plan that brings us closer as a family and teaches and skill builds that we all need for life.
This has also helped me tremendously with myself and in my other adult relationships and I would read it even if I didn't have children. I can keep calm and hold space for family when they call to vent. Understand that all behavior is communication when I'm dealing with difficult people and set my own plans to get through uncomfortable situations. And I am teaching my kids how to do the same for their own lives.
It has the power to change your life too. Seriously, apply this framework to yourself, make yourself the focus and see how it can change your life. I am currently using it for my own burnout to really understand myself and make the changes I need to move forward and it has helped way more than any of the hundreds of articles on burnout that I have read through.
I will keep using this framework for life. I have used it for school issues, meltdowns, burnout, sleep struggles, rough toddler times and disagreements with my spouse. It really can be applied to everything and gives you a way to keep moving that makes lasting changes.
July 28, 2023
Calm the Chaos is a book that every human should read, whether or not you’re a parent, because it offers a revolutionary framework for how to interact with every person in your life, at every stage of life, regardless of whether that person is neurotypical or neurodivergent.
I’ve been a mom for almost 13 years, navigating the ups and downs of parenting 3 super kids, often on my own. Over the years, I’ve read so many parenting books and taken so many parenting classes. Some techniques made no sense to me and some made a lot of sense, but realistically, only on paper. I felt like a horrible mom, because all of those other books told me that I set the tone in my family, but none of those books told me how. I didn’t know how to be the perfect, Pinterest-ready mom that the world seems to think I needed to be. I was falling apart, completely stressed, overwhelmed and burned out and my relationship with my kids reflected it. Then a pandemic shut down the world and after months of complete chaos, we were disconnected, constantly yelling and fighting, and really didn’t like being around each other. At just the right moment as I was hitting my personal rock bottom, I was blessed to find Dayna Abraham and the Calm the Chaos Framework.
The YouCUE framework completely change my life, my parenting process, and how my family relates to each other. For the first time, I had the epiphany that I am a really good mom and it’s okay to not be perfect. With each step, I no longer deal with hours long meltdowns because now I understand that ‘all behavior is communication’. I’m not triggered by the chaos causers that happen in our family anymore, because I’ve learned to take care of myself, to ‘stop, breathe, and anchor’. I’ve learned to understand each of my super kids so I am able to meet them in their struggles, connect with them in the moment, and empower them to be solution finders.
If you’ve been wondering how to calm the chaos in your family, this is definitely the book to read. Dayna walks the reader through each step in the process so that you can tailor the framework to your family’s specific needs and struggles. The personal stories of Dayna’s journey and those of her students truly help you realize that you are not alone and that if they can calm the chaos so can you. I know that you’ve got this!
I’ve been a mom for almost 13 years, navigating the ups and downs of parenting 3 super kids, often on my own. Over the years, I’ve read so many parenting books and taken so many parenting classes. Some techniques made no sense to me and some made a lot of sense, but realistically, only on paper. I felt like a horrible mom, because all of those other books told me that I set the tone in my family, but none of those books told me how. I didn’t know how to be the perfect, Pinterest-ready mom that the world seems to think I needed to be. I was falling apart, completely stressed, overwhelmed and burned out and my relationship with my kids reflected it. Then a pandemic shut down the world and after months of complete chaos, we were disconnected, constantly yelling and fighting, and really didn’t like being around each other. At just the right moment as I was hitting my personal rock bottom, I was blessed to find Dayna Abraham and the Calm the Chaos Framework.
The YouCUE framework completely change my life, my parenting process, and how my family relates to each other. For the first time, I had the epiphany that I am a really good mom and it’s okay to not be perfect. With each step, I no longer deal with hours long meltdowns because now I understand that ‘all behavior is communication’. I’m not triggered by the chaos causers that happen in our family anymore, because I’ve learned to take care of myself, to ‘stop, breathe, and anchor’. I’ve learned to understand each of my super kids so I am able to meet them in their struggles, connect with them in the moment, and empower them to be solution finders.
If you’ve been wondering how to calm the chaos in your family, this is definitely the book to read. Dayna walks the reader through each step in the process so that you can tailor the framework to your family’s specific needs and struggles. The personal stories of Dayna’s journey and those of her students truly help you realize that you are not alone and that if they can calm the chaos so can you. I know that you’ve got this!
August 8, 2023
This is a book everyone who has or wants children in their lives should have. It teaches you, the adult, how to show up as your best self and dare I say it, how to take care of your self when working with or parenting children. This is the missing piece of parenting, the stuff no one tells you until you gain years of experience in the trenches.
This book discusses the truth: the good, the bad and the ugly truth of adulting with kids and every child in the world needs their teachers, parents and caregivers to read this book.
Why? Because it helps us to understand the “why” of our kids and their behaviours, it explains the “why” of our own reactions and behaviours and it then gives us the “ how” by teaching us skills that we need to heal, to live and to love our lives.
It’s a big achievement from one book but it’s all there in simple easy to understand language without a lecturing or controlling narrative.
It’s a small investment that will reap many rewards.
Every adult needs a copy of this to understand their own inner child and behaviours because our kids copy what we do not what we say.
So if you want to help your family this is a great book with a simple roadmap of tiny steps that all the family can get involved with. But watch out a side affect is you may end up helping yourself more than anyone and that’s a gift for your family or classroom that just keeps on giving. Kids immature brains crave safety and when their carers are content, calm and understand their needs when they can’t, they feel safe. Safe kids tend to be calmer.
Full disclosure the steps were hard for me to do at first not because they were time consuming or complex but because I had no experience of looking inward and no clue how to be calm. But practice makes progress and my nervous system is grateful. The book explains all about moments of safety, how to manage your guilt, shame and temper and how kids see us in these moments. We learn along with our kids and that’s the real gold. It’s never too late.
A generation of parents and kids who learn to calm the chaos in their bodies, minds and family will make a huge difference to the world. I am glad I am part of this generation.
Enjoy xx
This book discusses the truth: the good, the bad and the ugly truth of adulting with kids and every child in the world needs their teachers, parents and caregivers to read this book.
Why? Because it helps us to understand the “why” of our kids and their behaviours, it explains the “why” of our own reactions and behaviours and it then gives us the “ how” by teaching us skills that we need to heal, to live and to love our lives.
It’s a big achievement from one book but it’s all there in simple easy to understand language without a lecturing or controlling narrative.
It’s a small investment that will reap many rewards.
Every adult needs a copy of this to understand their own inner child and behaviours because our kids copy what we do not what we say.
So if you want to help your family this is a great book with a simple roadmap of tiny steps that all the family can get involved with. But watch out a side affect is you may end up helping yourself more than anyone and that’s a gift for your family or classroom that just keeps on giving. Kids immature brains crave safety and when their carers are content, calm and understand their needs when they can’t, they feel safe. Safe kids tend to be calmer.
Full disclosure the steps were hard for me to do at first not because they were time consuming or complex but because I had no experience of looking inward and no clue how to be calm. But practice makes progress and my nervous system is grateful. The book explains all about moments of safety, how to manage your guilt, shame and temper and how kids see us in these moments. We learn along with our kids and that’s the real gold. It’s never too late.
A generation of parents and kids who learn to calm the chaos in their bodies, minds and family will make a huge difference to the world. I am glad I am part of this generation.
Enjoy xx
August 9, 2023
If you're here, you've likely read other parenting books and are wondering how this one is different. First and foremost, Calm the Chaos does not exclude certain kids with the wave of an astrix. You know the one - "*this method may not apply to children who____" (fill in the blank with a diagnosis or situation, probably the one you're seeking help with in the first place). Not only does Dayna not dismiss these out-out-the-box kids, she provides inspiration and encouragement for genuinely celebrating their unique super powers.
If you've read other books on parenting and have been left thinking "Oh that all sounds great, but how do I *do* any of it?"... fear not! You'll be glad to know that Dayna has taken all the best research (meaning some of what you read here will be those things you've wanted to try!) and not just made it accessible to understand, but has also laid it out in a plan to actually implement. Step by step.
Finally, if you're considering reading Calm the Chaos and wondering how you could ever have time to read yet another book and try yet another thing, rest assured that Dayna has you covered. The book is already cut into bite sized pieces for you. You can be interrupted by kids and not lose your path. You can read for just 2-5 minutes at a time and not feel like you're treading water (or sinking). The action steps, especially in the beginning, are *steps.* Actual single steps, not projects. You don't have to set hours or days aside to move forward. You can take one step in the direction of hope, and it counts as progress.
Calm the Chaos is a book, a plan, like no other. The method was born out of dire necessity, and Dayna has refined it while guiding thousands of families through survival mode and into a thriving life. There is hope for every family to have success, peace, and joy. And now there is a roadmap to show you the way.
If you've read other books on parenting and have been left thinking "Oh that all sounds great, but how do I *do* any of it?"... fear not! You'll be glad to know that Dayna has taken all the best research (meaning some of what you read here will be those things you've wanted to try!) and not just made it accessible to understand, but has also laid it out in a plan to actually implement. Step by step.
Finally, if you're considering reading Calm the Chaos and wondering how you could ever have time to read yet another book and try yet another thing, rest assured that Dayna has you covered. The book is already cut into bite sized pieces for you. You can be interrupted by kids and not lose your path. You can read for just 2-5 minutes at a time and not feel like you're treading water (or sinking). The action steps, especially in the beginning, are *steps.* Actual single steps, not projects. You don't have to set hours or days aside to move forward. You can take one step in the direction of hope, and it counts as progress.
Calm the Chaos is a book, a plan, like no other. The method was born out of dire necessity, and Dayna has refined it while guiding thousands of families through survival mode and into a thriving life. There is hope for every family to have success, peace, and joy. And now there is a roadmap to show you the way.
November 2, 2023
I cannot express just how helpful this book has been! It is absolutely a game changer with respect to parenting.
I have two formally diagnosed autistic children and am autistic myself, and have really struggled the past couple years to stabilize my family after a series of unfortunate events left us in complete crisis. As the saying goes, “a crisis happens when an adult doesn’t know what to do.”
I have both of my autistic children enrolled in a wrap around intensive services program, which is the highest intensity outpatient program available for at risk youths. I found that this book parallels and compliments the work we do in this program. One of the major focuses is on parental coaching, which has been essential to learning how to respond to a meltdown. It has also given me a lot of skills that I lacked from growing up undiagnosed and without supports for my own autism.
Dayna Abraham is a wonderfully supportive and encouraging person, and her work with this book is admirable. She has stated publicly that her her goal is to replace 123 Magic as the default parenting book, because of the statements that if 123 Magic doesn’t work it’s because you or your child are doing it wrong/broken. This book explains to parents that failures are informative and provide us with insight into how we can regroup and try a new approach. The encouragement to keep trying is truly unparalleled in the book world of parenting. I love how both the author and my lead WISe clinician talk about being your own scientist.
I highly recommend this empowering and helpful book for parents of all kids, but most especially those who have children struggling with their behavioral or mental health. I will keep this book on my shelves forever, and I know that it will be invaluable as I move forward as a parent and as an advocate for families in crisis.
I have two formally diagnosed autistic children and am autistic myself, and have really struggled the past couple years to stabilize my family after a series of unfortunate events left us in complete crisis. As the saying goes, “a crisis happens when an adult doesn’t know what to do.”
I have both of my autistic children enrolled in a wrap around intensive services program, which is the highest intensity outpatient program available for at risk youths. I found that this book parallels and compliments the work we do in this program. One of the major focuses is on parental coaching, which has been essential to learning how to respond to a meltdown. It has also given me a lot of skills that I lacked from growing up undiagnosed and without supports for my own autism.
Dayna Abraham is a wonderfully supportive and encouraging person, and her work with this book is admirable. She has stated publicly that her her goal is to replace 123 Magic as the default parenting book, because of the statements that if 123 Magic doesn’t work it’s because you or your child are doing it wrong/broken. This book explains to parents that failures are informative and provide us with insight into how we can regroup and try a new approach. The encouragement to keep trying is truly unparalleled in the book world of parenting. I love how both the author and my lead WISe clinician talk about being your own scientist.
I highly recommend this empowering and helpful book for parents of all kids, but most especially those who have children struggling with their behavioral or mental health. I will keep this book on my shelves forever, and I know that it will be invaluable as I move forward as a parent and as an advocate for families in crisis.
July 27, 2023
I've read many parenting books since starting my work as a mom. Have I learned? Of course, from most of them. Have I been inspired? Sure, lots of times. Have I been able to put the bits and pieces together and really find a way to build the family relationships I dream of? Not the way I've wanted to, not until now. Calm the Chaos is helping me to bridge the gap. I am deeply grateful for the work of Dayna Abraham. Her methodology, which is laid out in such a compassionate, encouraging, practical, user-friendly and truthful way in this book, has been a lifesaver and a Godsend for me and mine. Finally, I have a framework and a roadmap to use to actually realize my vision for my (wonderful, beautiful, neurodivergent, challenging) family. I am learning to truly take care of myself and adjust my mindset, to remain calm and create calm during challenging times, to communicate effectively, to understand the needs of everyone in my household, and to empower each member of my family. We are becoming collaborators. We are learning to advocate for ourselves and each other. We are building a strong and secure family team, and are making plans and choices and agreements based on our shared values and dreams. And be assured, Calm the Chaos doesn't dictate those values and dreams; it is a system for choosing your own adventure then helping you make it happen, step by step. In these pages, Dayna assures you that you are the right person for the job, and you are. She says you can do it, and you absolutely can with this tool in your hands. I would like to see her book in every parent's hands, as well as every person interacting with children as a family member, friend, or professional. READ THIS BOOK. Honestly, it can change everything for you and yours, if you let it.
August 28, 2023
The first time I listened to Dayna Abraham speak, I felt heard and understood. I drank in every word she said and found more hope than I had for a long time, despite the numerous parenting courses I had done over the years of trying to help 2 autistic children.
2 years of spending time in the 'Calm the Chaos' world and I have made so much progress. Starting with my own outlook and reactions and moving onto plans to help in the event of meltdowns and to help avoid them and help my family be more connected.
And it works!
As Dayna recognises, storms in life come along regardless of who you are (illness, job loss etc) because we are human, but I have tools to help me manage them.
I'm currently using the tools she shares to help me connect more effectively with my husband. This really is a way of life and for being a better human.
And now all of the things that Dayna has been putting out into the world for all these years is finally available in book form, and accessible to everyone.
I love flicking through and looking at the doodles which are like quick reminders to me, and the action steps giving something very specific to do.
Step by step, Dayna shares her experiences and knowledge to help us use our expertise on our children to make lasting changes for the better in our families.
This book is not a text book about neurodiversity but a letter from the heart to us mums who are finding life too much. A letter from someone further down the road, who knows how to help us move forward with successful tiny steps.
I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to reduce battles in their home. Buy it. You won't regret it
2 years of spending time in the 'Calm the Chaos' world and I have made so much progress. Starting with my own outlook and reactions and moving onto plans to help in the event of meltdowns and to help avoid them and help my family be more connected.
And it works!
As Dayna recognises, storms in life come along regardless of who you are (illness, job loss etc) because we are human, but I have tools to help me manage them.
I'm currently using the tools she shares to help me connect more effectively with my husband. This really is a way of life and for being a better human.
And now all of the things that Dayna has been putting out into the world for all these years is finally available in book form, and accessible to everyone.
I love flicking through and looking at the doodles which are like quick reminders to me, and the action steps giving something very specific to do.
Step by step, Dayna shares her experiences and knowledge to help us use our expertise on our children to make lasting changes for the better in our families.
This book is not a text book about neurodiversity but a letter from the heart to us mums who are finding life too much. A letter from someone further down the road, who knows how to help us move forward with successful tiny steps.
I highly recommend this book to anyone wanting to reduce battles in their home. Buy it. You won't regret it
August 3, 2023
I first learned about the author, Dayna Abraham, when I was having struggles with my oldest. I realized then that many of the parenting methods I had been raised with or seen growing up didn’t resonate with how I felt I should treat my own children. As I began researching, I found Dayna’s community Calm the Chaos and immediately felt like she was an answer to many late night prayers. Her course was revolutionary for my family and now almost five years later, I can honestly say I still use her framework daily and now know how to respond in a manner I feel good about and builds a culture of love and respect in our home while setting and holding to limits. This book is the perfect resource for new parents along with parents who are struggling to find their way or feel there has to be a better way…there is…and here it is! I love Dayna’s doodles throughout along with the fact that it is an easy read that can be picked up and read sporadically in-between all the many demands of parenthood. It can also be a resource to pick up and go back to easily as she has her framework mapped out using heading and subheadings along with a complete index. So excited Calm the Chaos is now in book form! I felt so validated and understood and hopeful in my children and parenting as I read this book. Dayna just gets it. She’s been there. She’s done the research. And now she has simplified it and made it accessible to all!
August 10, 2023
Amazing!
I am halfway through the book and cannot recommend it enough. Let's face it, we've all read that book - the one that says your child should be doing this or that at their current age and makes you feel like a bad parent if you are not - and we've all read the other one - the one that tells you what to do to be a better parent as if parenting is one size fits all and if their method doesn't work, then you must be doing it wrong at best or a bad parent at worst. This book is not like any of those! Throughout the book, Dayna offers positive and affirming advice that relies on the fact that you are the expert in your child. She offers guidance on how to find your path, but does not assume to know all your answers.
Beyond the premise that you are the expert here, the book is also based on ideas such as "all behavior is communication" and what you see is just the tip of the iceberg. It emphasizes values such as mutual respect, connection, understanding and empowerment. If any of this resonates with you, read this book! If it doesn't, read it anyway! It is that good.
Even if you have gone through Dayna's workshops and online programs, you should still get this book. There is something about the way the book is presented that even after following Dayna for a while now, I am still having aha moments!
When you're done reading it, thank me by writing your own positive review.
I am halfway through the book and cannot recommend it enough. Let's face it, we've all read that book - the one that says your child should be doing this or that at their current age and makes you feel like a bad parent if you are not - and we've all read the other one - the one that tells you what to do to be a better parent as if parenting is one size fits all and if their method doesn't work, then you must be doing it wrong at best or a bad parent at worst. This book is not like any of those! Throughout the book, Dayna offers positive and affirming advice that relies on the fact that you are the expert in your child. She offers guidance on how to find your path, but does not assume to know all your answers.
Beyond the premise that you are the expert here, the book is also based on ideas such as "all behavior is communication" and what you see is just the tip of the iceberg. It emphasizes values such as mutual respect, connection, understanding and empowerment. If any of this resonates with you, read this book! If it doesn't, read it anyway! It is that good.
Even if you have gone through Dayna's workshops and online programs, you should still get this book. There is something about the way the book is presented that even after following Dayna for a while now, I am still having aha moments!
When you're done reading it, thank me by writing your own positive review.
August 11, 2023
Wow! This book is pure gold and should be on every parent's bedside table for easy reference. I have read MANY parenting books and often I can't remember anything a few days later (so many acronyms, scripts and 10-step lists!) However, Dayna has managed to write a book that is not only easy to read, but also takes a step-by-step approach to helping our families see progress. Her framework is straight-forward and clearly based on a deep understanding, love and respect for all kids.
I started implementing ideas from the book as I was reading. Yes, it's that doable! Dayna guides us as we slowly build our toolset, create plans for our family and then tweak them as needed. Each section of the book is organized the same way and is built around the YOU-CUE framework - You, Connect, Understand, Empower. This structure makes it so easy to integrate the ideas from the book, see how they all fit together and then recall the parts of the framework "in the moment". In fact, the framework makes so much sense and is so easy to remember that I can see myself using it for all parts of my life, not just with my kids and family. Dayna really gets parents and understands what we need to be successful - no excess fluff here. Just down-to-earth ideas and fun doodles that cement the learning.
This is an exceptional book that has the potential to change the lives of so many families. Read, share and let's start a parenting revolution based on connection, understanding and empowerment.
I started implementing ideas from the book as I was reading. Yes, it's that doable! Dayna guides us as we slowly build our toolset, create plans for our family and then tweak them as needed. Each section of the book is organized the same way and is built around the YOU-CUE framework - You, Connect, Understand, Empower. This structure makes it so easy to integrate the ideas from the book, see how they all fit together and then recall the parts of the framework "in the moment". In fact, the framework makes so much sense and is so easy to remember that I can see myself using it for all parts of my life, not just with my kids and family. Dayna really gets parents and understands what we need to be successful - no excess fluff here. Just down-to-earth ideas and fun doodles that cement the learning.
This is an exceptional book that has the potential to change the lives of so many families. Read, share and let's start a parenting revolution based on connection, understanding and empowerment.
August 4, 2023
Calm the Chaos: A Fail-Proof Road Map for Parenting Even the Most Challenging Kids by Dayna Abraham is a must-have read for all parents, professionals and anyone in-between who has a part to play in any child’s journey. I came across Dayna’s work earlier this year and have been hooked ever since, personally and professionally. As a parent, I wish Dayna’s book had existed 20 years ago. Now as a speech and language therapist working with families in the UK, I believe her book is a must-have read.
I am reading a digital pre-order of Calm the Chaos. In the book, Dayna shares with the reader how she wanted to find a way to support her son to stop blaming himself for not fitting in and for him to not blame the world for not understanding him. Dayna has eloquently drawn on her personal and professional experiences to create a book filled with raw honesty, hope, compassion and clarity.
The format of the book follows a framework which guides families on how to put into practice things they may instinctively already know but are unsure how to make happen. The book is written in an easy-to-follow and accessible way; I can hear the author speak to me! Calm the Chaos is packed with up-to-date, evidence-based strategies and practical solutions, supported by easily understood and beautifully crafted illustrations and includes real-life stories of things that have already proved successful for the many families Dayna has been working with.
I highly recommend this book – it just makes so much sense!
I am reading a digital pre-order of Calm the Chaos. In the book, Dayna shares with the reader how she wanted to find a way to support her son to stop blaming himself for not fitting in and for him to not blame the world for not understanding him. Dayna has eloquently drawn on her personal and professional experiences to create a book filled with raw honesty, hope, compassion and clarity.
The format of the book follows a framework which guides families on how to put into practice things they may instinctively already know but are unsure how to make happen. The book is written in an easy-to-follow and accessible way; I can hear the author speak to me! Calm the Chaos is packed with up-to-date, evidence-based strategies and practical solutions, supported by easily understood and beautifully crafted illustrations and includes real-life stories of things that have already proved successful for the many families Dayna has been working with.
I highly recommend this book – it just makes so much sense!
August 8, 2023
Wow, wow, wow! THIS is the parenting book that the world needed! Actually, this book helps you build and create spectacular, meaningful relationships with all kinds of people in your life and not just your kids.
Imagine building a life where your relationships are collaborative and mutually supportive. This is the reality that Dayna Abraham helps you create when you implement the simple Calm the Chaos framework. The beauty of the framework is that no matter if your days are a struggle, or if your loved ones all get along, you take the same steps (but in varying levels). This makes the process really easy to remember and actually implement. I've read a lot of self-help and parenting books, and sometimes the author makes things so complicated that within a few weeks, I forget what I'm supposed to do, and all my learning goes out the window. Not the case with Calm the Chaos!
Dayna's real examples of the application of the framework, in her own life and those of her students, show that the steps are doable, and her supportiveness, empathy, and understanding encourage you to keep trying. She combines the science behind her methodology in a simple and easy-to-understand way. Even the most frazzled, exhausted, and overwhelmed among us can easily understand the teaching and the steps needed to try it out in your life.
Highly, highly recommend!
Imagine building a life where your relationships are collaborative and mutually supportive. This is the reality that Dayna Abraham helps you create when you implement the simple Calm the Chaos framework. The beauty of the framework is that no matter if your days are a struggle, or if your loved ones all get along, you take the same steps (but in varying levels). This makes the process really easy to remember and actually implement. I've read a lot of self-help and parenting books, and sometimes the author makes things so complicated that within a few weeks, I forget what I'm supposed to do, and all my learning goes out the window. Not the case with Calm the Chaos!
Dayna's real examples of the application of the framework, in her own life and those of her students, show that the steps are doable, and her supportiveness, empathy, and understanding encourage you to keep trying. She combines the science behind her methodology in a simple and easy-to-understand way. Even the most frazzled, exhausted, and overwhelmed among us can easily understand the teaching and the steps needed to try it out in your life.
Highly, highly recommend!
July 26, 2023
This book is amazing. As I was reading, I laughed and cried and had all the feels. There are moments in the book that I felt like I could have written those exact words myself. The Calm the Chaos framework has been life-changing for my family. This is a must read for parents, teachers, and all those that work with children that have been identified as strong willed, challenging, spirited, etc. The part that makes this book so great is that these are actual things that you can DO to help your child. As a teacher, I know that when something isn't working, it is up to me to find a way that will work. As a parent, that is easier said than done but this book makes that possible. We all know that we are only in control of ourselves and our actions/words/behaviors. This framework teaches you how to do just that and then get ahead of the moment to prevent storms and create the family environment that you want for your kiddo. The book is easy to read and the doodles help to anchor the learning to memory. I can't wait to get my hands on the hard copy and share with my child's teacher, babysitter, doctor, therapist, etc.
July 30, 2023
First review on here, though I've been reading other peoples' reviews for ages (sorry!), and it is because it is worth it.
I'm 4 chapters into this and finding it so helpful. It's set out so clearly in stages, sections, repeat patterns that you can tap into and doodles to clarify, break up the text and give you that essential visual hook. I really like the clarity. The way it is presented in small chunks within chapters is so helpful if you have ADHD or similar traits.
This is not a mighty tome where you tire part way through. It's engaging and practical and you want to pause to try putting things into action. And when you pause and put things into action, it is such a buzz because IT WORKS for once, so you want to come back and read the next thing. Or, if you are me, re-read what you just put into action, because you can't quite believe it worked and THEN read on.
I'm reading this as a chaotic parent, not so much that my kids are particularly challenging. It's helping me find ways of staying calm that I've been searching for for maybe 3 decades now - and that is having a knock-on effect on our family. So my husband reports. He's happier too.
Totally worth it.
I'm 4 chapters into this and finding it so helpful. It's set out so clearly in stages, sections, repeat patterns that you can tap into and doodles to clarify, break up the text and give you that essential visual hook. I really like the clarity. The way it is presented in small chunks within chapters is so helpful if you have ADHD or similar traits.
This is not a mighty tome where you tire part way through. It's engaging and practical and you want to pause to try putting things into action. And when you pause and put things into action, it is such a buzz because IT WORKS for once, so you want to come back and read the next thing. Or, if you are me, re-read what you just put into action, because you can't quite believe it worked and THEN read on.
I'm reading this as a chaotic parent, not so much that my kids are particularly challenging. It's helping me find ways of staying calm that I've been searching for for maybe 3 decades now - and that is having a knock-on effect on our family. So my husband reports. He's happier too.
Totally worth it.
August 15, 2023
BEST...PARENTING...BOOK...EVER!!!!
This transformative book is the ONE you need; it is a MUST-HAVE for anyone who works with children: parents, teachers, administrators, counselors, coaches, therapists, grandparents, aunts, uncles, foster parents, social workers, etc. It is especially helpful for anyone who works with children dealing with challenges (trauma, medical, behavioral, ADHD, autism, cerebral palsy, etc.)
Dayna Abraham has masterfully crafted a framework that makes research from other books ACCESSIBLE to everyone. It is the HOW TO guide for SUCCESS for children and humans in general. Dayna Abraham uses her experience as a nationally board-certified teacher, parent, and researcher (and life coach) to help in these trying times. She covers timely topics such as brain research, trauma-informed practices, breathing, self-regulation, and mindfulness, while including the importance of routines, visual schedules, habits, self-care, and self-compassion. It is like reading a comprehensive handbook that combines the best of Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson (Whole Brain Child), James Clear (Atomic Habits), Hal Elrod (The Miracle Morning), Ross Greene (The Explosive Child and Lost at School), John Gottman (The Relationship Cure), Kristin Neff (Self Compassion). In addition, her illustrations greatly enhance her key points!
Dayna’s years of work have transformed thousands of lives. I know because I have taken some of her classes; she has impacted my personal and professional life. I have used her framework and strategies with my own child as well as my students. This is the book the world needs. If you have children in your life and you want a book that will make a HUGE DIFFERENCE, do yourself a favor and grab a copy now! Calm the Chaos is a GAME CHANGER!
This transformative book is the ONE you need; it is a MUST-HAVE for anyone who works with children: parents, teachers, administrators, counselors, coaches, therapists, grandparents, aunts, uncles, foster parents, social workers, etc. It is especially helpful for anyone who works with children dealing with challenges (trauma, medical, behavioral, ADHD, autism, cerebral palsy, etc.)
Dayna Abraham has masterfully crafted a framework that makes research from other books ACCESSIBLE to everyone. It is the HOW TO guide for SUCCESS for children and humans in general. Dayna Abraham uses her experience as a nationally board-certified teacher, parent, and researcher (and life coach) to help in these trying times. She covers timely topics such as brain research, trauma-informed practices, breathing, self-regulation, and mindfulness, while including the importance of routines, visual schedules, habits, self-care, and self-compassion. It is like reading a comprehensive handbook that combines the best of Dan Siegel & Tina Payne Bryson (Whole Brain Child), James Clear (Atomic Habits), Hal Elrod (The Miracle Morning), Ross Greene (The Explosive Child and Lost at School), John Gottman (The Relationship Cure), Kristin Neff (Self Compassion). In addition, her illustrations greatly enhance her key points!
Dayna’s years of work have transformed thousands of lives. I know because I have taken some of her classes; she has impacted my personal and professional life. I have used her framework and strategies with my own child as well as my students. This is the book the world needs. If you have children in your life and you want a book that will make a HUGE DIFFERENCE, do yourself a favor and grab a copy now! Calm the Chaos is a GAME CHANGER!
February 12, 2025
Another attempt at listening to a non fiction audio book. I just can't focus or absorb this kind of content audibly. I did glean some good tips to put in practice with my kiddos but I think I missed a lot of the content. There are a lot of exercises and/or self reflection that I think would be easier to stop and do if you be were reading a physical copy of the book as opposed to listening while running around doing chores or whatever. I do actually have a physical copy of the book but just haven't been able to dedicate sedentary time to. I flipped through the book as I was half way through listening and saw that there are a lot of lists, diagrams, pictures, etc so you're missing out on that if you only listen.
While the content and advice is good a lot of it didn't feel quite relevant to me as my kids are under 5 and not exhibiting more extreme forms of chaos or aggression. Perhaps what I learned, though, will help me to keep them from escalating as they get older. I would recommend the book to anyone who's struggling with any chaos in the home but just not on audio.
While the content and advice is good a lot of it didn't feel quite relevant to me as my kids are under 5 and not exhibiting more extreme forms of chaos or aggression. Perhaps what I learned, though, will help me to keep them from escalating as they get older. I would recommend the book to anyone who's struggling with any chaos in the home but just not on audio.
July 26, 2023
For a book about challenging kids, it sure made me laugh... and cry. I felt understood in a way I never have before. And after reading it, I feel something I haven't felt in a very long time... Hope.
I have been doing this for a very long time. I keep researching in the hope I will one day find a magic solution that will fix my family. I have tried all. the. things. What I didn't know though, was how to put them together. This book shows you exactly how to put the things you know together and form an actual plan. Not a trick here or a tip there.
She walks you through exactly what to do, with such engaging stories and humor that is not only a fantastic roadmap to get out of survival mode at long last, it feels fun and doable as well. You have not read a parenting book like this. One that doesn't make you feel like you've been doing it wrong, but rather gets exactly where you are coming from, speaks to you with compassion and understanding, and will help you see your parenting and your child in a whole new way.
I have been doing this for a very long time. I keep researching in the hope I will one day find a magic solution that will fix my family. I have tried all. the. things. What I didn't know though, was how to put them together. This book shows you exactly how to put the things you know together and form an actual plan. Not a trick here or a tip there.
She walks you through exactly what to do, with such engaging stories and humor that is not only a fantastic roadmap to get out of survival mode at long last, it feels fun and doable as well. You have not read a parenting book like this. One that doesn't make you feel like you've been doing it wrong, but rather gets exactly where you are coming from, speaks to you with compassion and understanding, and will help you see your parenting and your child in a whole new way.
August 18, 2023
However overwhelmed, exhausted , done in as a parent or care giver you may feel… you need to read this book!
This is a book for all people but in particular parents, teachers and guardians of ‘those kids’ who just don’t know what to do about big behaviours.
If like me you have ever thought there should be a manual for parenting, especially for a neurodivergent kiddo; look no further.
However it isn’t about telling you a one size fits all approach to solve all your problems in a flash, it’s about guiding you and your family, empowering you to a future where you are all happy and thriving through understanding and connection. It aims to break the cycle of dominance, discipline and consequences, instead creating out of the box solutions that fit your specific lives and situations and changing the world for the better with each family it touches.
This book is well structured, easy to read and broken down to allow you to work through at your own pace, come back to when you can and reminds you that you can do anything just not all at once.
It has comedy, sadness and a big dose of reality, but what it offers is hope, even on the hardest of days.
The calm the chaos book is life changing, you will be inspired and will want to share it with all that you know and meet.
This is a book for all people but in particular parents, teachers and guardians of ‘those kids’ who just don’t know what to do about big behaviours.
If like me you have ever thought there should be a manual for parenting, especially for a neurodivergent kiddo; look no further.
However it isn’t about telling you a one size fits all approach to solve all your problems in a flash, it’s about guiding you and your family, empowering you to a future where you are all happy and thriving through understanding and connection. It aims to break the cycle of dominance, discipline and consequences, instead creating out of the box solutions that fit your specific lives and situations and changing the world for the better with each family it touches.
This book is well structured, easy to read and broken down to allow you to work through at your own pace, come back to when you can and reminds you that you can do anything just not all at once.
It has comedy, sadness and a big dose of reality, but what it offers is hope, even on the hardest of days.
The calm the chaos book is life changing, you will be inspired and will want to share it with all that you know and meet.
July 26, 2023
I was able to get a “sneak peek”. Well, when everyone is in bed, this is my book of choice. This author has “been there” and experienced the struggles of raising children from hard places. As a foster family, I need daily reminders of how to successfully parent. I have cried, laughed and screamed through this book. I can’t wait to get my hands in a past copy to fill it with bent pages and highlight marks. I might add my own, comments on the bottom of my book.
This is a MUST read for parents! I would love to see these concepts adopted in a foster parent training. The more “real life” testimonials, the better. This book has given me hope that “I am not the only one without all the answers”. With all the information, I have little chest sheets around my house if her drawings. I need daily reminders of how to anchor, breathe, and deal with each situation with a clear mindset.
This is a simple, fool proof way to make your family going from “surviving to thriving”.
This is a MUST read for parents! I would love to see these concepts adopted in a foster parent training. The more “real life” testimonials, the better. This book has given me hope that “I am not the only one without all the answers”. With all the information, I have little chest sheets around my house if her drawings. I need daily reminders of how to anchor, breathe, and deal with each situation with a clear mindset.
This is a simple, fool proof way to make your family going from “surviving to thriving”.
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