Blood Orange Night: A Memoir of Insomnia, Motherhood, and Benzos

by Melissa Bond

Brain on Fire meets High Achiever in this “page-turner memoir chronicling a woman’s accidental descent into prescription benzodiazepine dependence—and the life-threatening impacts of long-term use—that chills to the bone” (Nylon).

As Melissa Bond raises her infant daughter and a special-needs one-year-old son, she suffers from unbearable insomnia, sleeping an hour or less each night. She loses her job as a journalist (a casualty of the 2008 recession), and her relationship with her husband grows distant. Her doctor casually prescribes benzodiazepines—a family of drugs that includes Xanax, Valium, Klonopin, Ativan—and increases her dosage regularly.

Following her doctor’s orders, Melissa takes the pills night after night until her body begins to shut down. Only when she collapses while holding her daughter does Melissa learn that her doctor—like so many others—has over-prescribed the medication and quitting cold turkey could lead to psychosis or fatal seizures. Benzodiazepine addiction is not well studied, and few experts know how to help Melissa as she begins the months-long process of tapering off the pills without suffering debilitating, potentially deadly consequences.

Each page thrums with the heartbeat of Melissa’s struggle—how many hours has she slept? How many weeks old are her babies? How many milligrams has she taken? Her propulsive writing crescendos to a fever pitch as she fights for her health and her ability to care for her children. “Propulsive, poetic” (Shelf Awareness), and immersive, this “vivid chronicle of suffering” (Kirkus Reviews) and redemption shines a light on the prescription benzodiazepine epidemic as it reaches a crisis point in this country.

Genres: Memoir, Nonfiction, Mental Health, Audiobook, Biography Memoir, Addiction, Biography

304 pages, Paperback

First published June 14, 2022

Reviews

[Anita Pomerantz · Rating 5 out of 5]

I read this book in four days straight, and that hasn't happened in a LONG time. Ironically, the book features insomnia, and I felt so compelled to read it, I felt like it was contributing to my own.

Melissa tells the story of a young mother suffering from sleepless nights. She has a young son with Down's syndrome and another infant on the way. As you might imagine, she's desperate for some sleep. Unfortunately, after Ambien stops working for her, she visits a new doctor (who markets himself under the auspices of integrative medicine) who prescribes Ativan which is part of a class of drugs called benzodiazapines. This class of drugs is highly physically addictive, and are also extremely difficult to kick because cold turkey is not an option.

Melissa relates the story of her addiction in very raw, honest, and beautifully rendered language. Her clear intellect and incredible writing talent make you think "how does this happen?" And honestly, after reading it, I'm still not completely sure. But as Melissa becomes more and more trapped by these medications, her ability to parent and her husband's ability to tolerate the situation spiral ever downward. Her story is compelling, but I think it would be a mere footnote of another addict if she wasn't an A+ caliber writer. I felt her anguish every step of the way.

As a complete aside, coincidentally Melissa lives in Salt Lake City - where I have just moved. And she has a couple in her life who really extend themselves on her behalf who are from Baltimore - where I just moved from. And her husband is a landscaper, and I work for a landscaping company.
So I felt a little extra close to this story in a certain way that added to my overall appreciation.

[Kelly Parker · Rating 3 out of 5]

The author writes about her experience with benzodiazepines, which she was prescribed for insomnia, and her subsequent addiction and detox journey.
I certainly don’t doubt that Bond’s struggles were real. She has two children, about fifteen months apart, one with Down Syndrome, which would be enough for anyone. Compound that with chronic insomnia and a faltering marriage, and there’s the making of a great memoir. Except, the more I read this one, the less great it seemed.
The biggest thing that rankled was the way the author thrashed on her husband, who she portrayed as totally unsympathetic, distant, and cold. And maybe that’s how it was, or how it felt to her at the time, but to me, it was really unfair. He was the sole breadwinner, running his own business, also had two babies, one with Down Syndrome, and a basket case of a wife. Maybe he was the a-hole she tried to paint him as, or maybe he had a hell of a lot on his own plate. I have a feeling he could have written his own book, and things would have looked completely different.
Besides the way she characterized her husband, something else kept me from appreciating this book like I expected to, given that it’s totally in my wheelhouse. At one point, the author is writing (bitching) about how her husband’s sister was basically done with her and claimed that Bond was “obsessed” with her addiction and I was like, yes! That hit the nail on the head. She DID come across as obsessed with herself and her story, like there was no way anyone has ever had it worse than her. The author also wrote that her husband called her an egomaniac and based solely on the book that she, herself, wrote, I can’t say I disagree.
Thanks to #netgalley and #gallerybooks for this #arc of #bloodorangenight in exchange for an honest review.

[Gwen · Rating 5 out of 5]

Benzodiazepines anyone suffering from withdrawal or knows someone who has a family member on them this is a must read. Withdrawal from this drug is a long long fight

[Kasia · Rating 4 out of 5]

**ARC provided by publisher in exchange for an honest review**

I am really drawn to the stories about physical dependency and addiction that are result of drug overprescription. There is something spooky about doctors becoming almost like drug dealers, betraying (sometimes unknowingly) your trust and creating an even bigger problem than what you originally tried to remedy. Trust the science and medicine but beware because there are money and corruption involved.

This particular book tells the story of benzodiazepines dependency and how stealthily it is working, slowly stealing your health. There is barely an introduction or author's background before everything is wrecked by constant pain, persistent insomnia and unexpected symptoms. It's a really strong memoir about the power of will and finding hope in the darkest of places. But this book also feels a bit like a petty revenge on the unsupportive husband and because of that I am giving it only 4 stars.

[CatReader · Rating 2 out of 5]

While I feel for the author's lived experiences and applaud her raising awareness of the addictiveness of benzodiazepine use and peril of withdrawal, I found myself decreasingly sympathetic and increasingly annoyed and turned off the longer this book went on. A good memoir, in my opinion, is based on the author's life experiences but also incorporates in social, historical, and situational contexts gleaned from maturity and perspective. While elegantly written, this memoir was glaringly lacking in those latter elements. It seemed more like the author's personal vendetta against others whom she perceived have wronged her, from the doctor who first prescribed her benzos, to her ex-husband, to most members of the healthcare system, to the economy and company that laid her off from her writing job, and to the news channel that didn't air the piece they filmed about her.

[Peace · Rating 1 out of 5]

Beautifully written but as someone close to the story I have a few things to say. I am sorry and sad for what the author went through and that only a few people understood her issue. I am also sad for the people who have been exposed as a result of her story. I worry for the mental health backlash of those people that were used to glorify her truth. There is no empathy shown for others except for those who give her the attention she is seeking. To the ex-husband who works very hard, loves his children with all his might - you are loved. You never had the support that your ex-wife has had, yet you endure. Don't people have the right to know they are going to be written about and the opportunity to discuss it? I guess not or there would be no story. I truly hope the authors book helps others but it definitely won't help those who tried their best from where they were consciously during her time of suffering.

[Debbie Davis · Rating 3 out of 5]

As a child growing up my mom was always addicted to benzodiazepines. So I was immediately drawn to reading this book. As always in most cases, this book is about a person suffering from addiction. No one ever hears the side of the family that lives this nightmare or the rippling effects it has on others.

It’s unbelievable the jeopardy Ms. Bond put her children in while suffering from insomnia. She even left her husband and children to live with friends while recovering. So her husband was alone every night to put his toddlers to bed?? I can’t imagine the toll it had to take on her husband, who seem to hang in there. Years, are you kidding me…his life high jacked, dismantled and put on hold as he supported the family. As she recovers she tells him I want a separation. It takes him two weeks. I have nothing but admiration for this man who stayed durning this horrible ordeal.

We come to the Acknowledgments…Sean and his mom are missing, not a single thank you for being in a front row seat to this ride thru hell. Sean I feel your pain. Shame on Ms. Bond for not acknowledging the Ex-Husband/father of your children in some way.

I’m sure you can gather from my review I’ve lived with an addictive person in my life. They command center stage when telling their story, often leaving out love ones who endured.

Thank Goodreads for a copy of this book and my honest opinion.

[Mandy · Rating 1 out of 5]

I wanted to like this book. I read it quickly. However, it was so..shallow. About such a heavy topic. The author was so self-involved. Praising her prior accomplishments, her "athleticism", and her insistence she was some great poet. This book needed editing. It was grating how often the word "beauty" was used or how she wept at different authors that she probably believes her readers can't grasp. Ugh.

[Rachel the Page-Turner · Rating 4 out of 5]

This was pretty good - it’s like if Dopesick was about benzodiazepines instead of opiates. Benzo addiction isn’t talked about very much in our society, but I know so many people - myself included - who are prescribed them. In fact, if someone doesn’t have a random prescription for Xanax, Ativan, Klonopin, Valium, etc., I usually wonder if they are one of those people who won’t even take Advil for a headache.

Our author was prescribed Ativan to sleep, after Ambien stopped working for her. (Oddly, the doctor who prescribes my benzo won’t prescribe Ambien because it only puts your body to sleep, not your brain. Also, Ativan shouldn’t be prescribed for sleep - it doesn’t last long enough. Stupid doctor.)

Soon, very soon, she developed a tolerance to the drug and the dosage kept rising and rising. Little did she know her brain was being completely rewired, and soon no dose would help the withdrawal she was feeling, despite the fact that she’d never stopped taking it!

After long searches for doctors, rehabs, detox centers - any place she could think of - she realizes nobody has really dealt with benzodiazepine addiction, and the months-to-years it can take to wean yourself off of them. Her children, one with special needs, and her husband need her. How can she get off this medication without dying or losing her sanity? How can she help others? Can she completely stop taking them?

You’ll get your answers, but the ending was so abrupt that I had to double-check and make sure I didn’t miss a chapter. This book was relatively long-winded, then it just … ended. It lost a star for that, but this is still a strong four-star book that I will recommend. It’s definitely a topic that deserves more attention.

(Thank you to Gallery Books, Melissa Bond, and NetGalley for the ARC in exchange for my review.)

[Lydia Wallace · Rating 5 out of 5]

Melissa Bond thanks for writing a great book that touched me to the core. I could feel your pain. I have anxiety, depression, anger issues and insomnia. I have been to so many doctors that prescribe different drugs for me that never seem to help me. Addiction runs in my family. I grew up with two alcoholic parents that were very abusive. I turned to alcohol and prescription drugs to try and forget my ordeal. That was the worse thing I could have done. My daughter who is now twenty still holds a lot of hurt from my days of drinking and drugging. I tried going to rehab several times but would not stay sober for long. I finally found a doctor that taught me how my brain worked and how I could retrain my brain to overcome my obsessive behavior with a lot of work and suffering. I am now sober and drug free for the past ten years. My daughter was about ten when I final got my act together, but it still affects her to this day. I lost my younger brother a couple of years ago to Vicodin and alcohol. He was in a bad car wreck and died three times, but the doctors at the trauma unit fought to keep him alive. He had so many operations as he had damaged his whole body inside and out. As he was recovering he got addicted to Vicodin and other prescriptions. He finally took his last dose and choked to death as he was sleeping. It is really sad how easy it is to get prescriptions for addictive drugs. I put my husband, children and family through hell. I am living my life one day at a time now and trying to make amends to the ones I hurt. Thanks for sharing your story. I highly recommend your book to anyone. Very informative. Really opens your eyes to how easy it is to get addicted to prescription drugs that doctors prescript. Ready for your next great and informative book Melissa Bond.

[gaia · Rating 5 out of 5]

I very luckily won this book in a Goodreads giveaway, and I am so glad I did.

Melissa tells her story through such a powerful narrative voice. Her writing is so strong and she writes so eloquently, it's so difficult not to get immersed in and invested in her story. Her emotions come across so poignantly; pain, suffering, anger, sadness, happiness, all the emotions. She is totally vulnerable as a narrator, which makes this story all the more powerful and impactful. Her descriptions of the withdrawal symptoms she experienced were the most hard-hitting and impactful to me as a reader; I could feel my skin crawl and shivered at her descriptions, particularly that of the blood orange night itself.

This is an incredible memoir, and very informative about what real-lived experiences of those who have a drug dependency go through.

[Jenna · Rating 2 out of 5]

First things first: I’m stunned the editors were willing to even publish the part at the end, where the author says many extremely offensive and uneducated things about opiate addiction because she is jealous that it, and its victims, are getting more media attention than she and her benzo addiction are. For real. It’s not a trauma/victimhood competition here, you know? This helps exactly no one.

There were MANY other, often similar, unfortunate, and distracting issues with what might otherwise have been a potentially impactful account of an excruciating, under-recognized/misunderstood, and widespread type of addiction. I could enumerate them, but I have drafted a review several times and it always ends up deteriorating into an almost personal rant and sounding really hateful and bitter, which I do not find to be useful and which aligns with the tone and content of the book itself, and I don’t want to emulate that in any manner. There are other reviews that describe some of the same issues with this book that I encountered, so I’ll let those readers share their thoughts.

I am extremely disappointed, even angry, because I’d hoped this book might bring wider awareness of and empathy toward a type of addiction I’ve witnessed people suffer in both my personal and professional life. This was a REALLY important topic, and I had high hopes.

[Pandora · Rating 2 out of 5]

Flawless Athlete, Poet, Mother and Philosopher has a bad run-in with benzodiazepenes. She's not one of Those Gross Addicts, heavens no!; everything was forced on her by a bad doctor and an unsupportive husband.
By the time she was titrating 5mg of valium into a jug of milk, and her journalist had run off to join "Big Pharma", (her words) I was over it.
Psychopharmaceuticals can save lives. They allow me and countless others to live and, yes, look after our special needs children. Medication shaming and scare-mongering in 2022 for attention is not the serve she thinks it is.

[Jenn · Rating 1 out of 5]

I listened to 3.5 hours of this book on Audible and found the author insufferable. An example: she gifted her husband a trip with friends for his birthday then was angry when he actually went on it and didn’t call her. She repeatedly references philosophers which appears to be an attempt to showcase intelligence as they bear no relevance to the story. At 3.5 hours in, there is very little discussion of the insomnia or benzo addiction. Too many good books to read to push myself through this one.

[Crystal FloridaGrams Of3 · Rating 4 out of 5]

I felt like I was reading about myself.
She amazingly lays out her deep abyss into the prescription hole of benzos.
I'll personally continue my insomnia medication. Remember everyone deals with things in thier own ways to bring them peace ✌️ 🙏

Thank you for the ARC version

[JM · Rating 1 out of 5]

I really wanted to like this book, since I had a similar experience on benzodiazepines. I think it’s a vulnerable topic to write about that does not get enough exposure. However, I was put-off almost immediately by the author’s writing style. The writing is choppy and the language gives the impression of “trying too hard to be a professional writer”. As most writers mature, they refine their skills and become adept at the “less is more” approach. Bond seemed to feel it was necessary to show off her skills as a writer and poet by over-complicating her descriptions and using unnecessary flowery language, contrasted with simple, blunt statements. It took a lot for me to continue reading because I was so annoyed with the writing. Sure, writers are allowed to have their own personal style, so maybe this just wasn’t the book for me.

The other thing that bothered me was her blatant degradation of “real addicts”, as opposed to those simply dependent on medication. Throughout the book she makes it clear how she feels about being seen as an addict when CLEARLY she is just physically dependent on her prescription medication. I really think she missed the mark on this one. Being a “real addict” in recovery myself, that is actually how a lot of addictions start. Does she think that people who become addicts randomly go looking for their first high? Do pain patients start out wanting to get high on Percocet? I certainly didn’t start off begging my doctor for a Xanax prescription. Here’s the thing about most addictions: the body adjusts to a normal way of functioning on the drug, whatever it is - even alcohol. Because of this, ALL drugs are horrible to withdraw from due to the new mental and physical homeostasis. Bond’s dependency on benzos is no different from any other addict’s dependency. Opiates, meth, alcohol…there are withdrawals from all of these and they’re all horrible. Sure, she may not have been looking to get high, but that doesn’t mean she wasn’t addicted. Although she attempts to redeem herself near the end, stating that everyone is just looking to escape their pain, it’s pretty evident that she believes that “real” addicts have some sort of moral failing. She, on the other hand, does not, and she even compares herself to a gladiator for getting through her withdrawal. I’m not sure she realizes how many people go through the exact same thing, only they don’t adopt the “holier than thou” attitude. The worst part? She never even completely got off of Valium! To this day she says she still takes 5 mg every night.

Bond’s characterization of her husband also bothered me. She details how he slowly grows away from her over the progression of her illness. He seemingly went from a loving husband to a cold, distant, emotionless shell of a man. I didn’t know what to make of this until his mother was brought up near the middle of the book. Clearly, Sean had some childhood trauma that involved his mother. I concluded that just from the description of how he reacted to her. From that perspective, I saw Sean as someone dealing with what could be PTSD, which was triggered by Bond’s sickness and also the reappearance of his mother in his life. When PTSD is triggered, a person essentially becomes vulnerable to personality changes and isolation. While Bond continuously painted herself as the victim of her doctor, the pharmaceutical industry, her husband, and even her own children, Sean seems to also be struggling to keep his head above water. Could he have handled it better? Tried harder in therapy? Sure. But when you look at the stress he suddenly had to deal with in a relatively short amount of time, his actions make more sense. Bond is merciless and does not once say she tried to understand her husband’s past or what was going on in his head. She brought his mother into their house when it was very evident Sean was uncomfortable. Maybe she put a lot more effort into understanding than she included in the book, but from what I read, she never let go of her victim mentality and was quick to blame everyone else for her situation.

It might seem like I’m being harsh on this book, and I am. It’s an important topic and although I am glad it is being brought out into the open, I’m disappointed that it wasn’t done justice. Maybe I was a bit more critical because I come at it from the perspective from someone who comes from a similar background. I do empathize with the author, but overall I found her to be extremely self-centered. If someone wants an accurate portrayal of benzo addiction without the drawn-out play-by-play of relatively normal withdraws symptoms, this is not the book to read

[Adrienne Blaine · Rating 4 out of 5]

Recently, a nurse friend of mine cautioned me not to be tempted by any Ativan prescription for my anxiety. It’s scary addictive, she told me. This is the same friend who spotted a young woman on the streets of San Francisco struggling to walk or make her limbs work. We intervened as she was about to be dropped on her head by a young man who was trying to carry her. In the course of making sure she got home, we learned she was on Xanax, another benzodiazepine or “benzo.”

So, yeah, I’ve been startled by the casual references I hear in everyday conversation and pop culture to these drugs. And I was definitely interested to hear a first-hand account from Melissa Bond who became unwittingly addicted and has spent years trying to wean herself off benzodiazepines.

It helps that this book is extremely well written. Bless poets, like Bond, for writing prose. Expect viscera et al. in this memoir. At one point while reading a graphic emergency medical scene, I felt physically ill. The Beauty shines through the Terror though.

It pains me to read about the ableism Bond encountered. She probably attempted to be fair in her portrayals of people in her life, but gosh, was it hard to read about how she was shamed by others and even herself. While she writes extensively about the network of support she was grateful to have, I found some of the attempts at stoic individualism a little too close to “pull yourself up by your own bootstraps” nonsense.

“The great humility of this dependency has brought me to my knees. And it's on my knees that I've learned that mothering is about holding my own hand and wiping my own tears.”

As a mother, Bond writes about the challenges of having two infants close together and raising a child with Down’s Syndrome. Bond attempts to refute what she sees as problematic narratives around her child with Down’s Syndrome. I don’t know enough to offer any praise or criticism, but the experience of a parent should not stand in for the experience of the individual child or the wider community of people with Down’s Syndrome. Whenever possible, I prefer to read own voices writing.

All that to say, I tore through this book after finally getting through my NetGalley TBR. I received an advance digital copy of this book from NetGalley and Gallery Books in exchange for an honest review.

[Kimberly · Rating 5 out of 5]

I received an Advance Reader's Edition from Gallery Books through a Goodreads Giveaway. Its the author's story of her unsuspecting drop into addiction and her struggle to regain her health after the effects of her addiction overwhelm her. It is certainly a cautionary tale and will be met with nods by those who have suffered themselves or seen family members struggle with this affliction. Important and timely.

[Jessica Paige (Exercise_Read_Repeat) · Rating 5 out of 5]

I really appreciate stories that educate the public on various medical cases, and when this memoir was compared to Brain on Fire (my favorite of all time), I knew I had to read it.

The first half of the book focuses on Melissa's pregnancy with her two children and the insomnia that came as a result. After nights of not sleeping, and being tolerant to the Ambient she was given by her doctor, Melissa was prescribed a high-dose of Ativan, and later Valium, to treat her insomnia. As she became dependent on these drugs, she noticed drastic changes in her body, such as hallucinations, blackouts and numbness. Being that very little research examined the long-term use of benzos, Melissa struggled to find a doctor to help cure her addiction. In the second half of the book, Melissa shared her quest to find a doctor skilled in benzo addiction and withdrawal. When she found a doctor, she recounted what she went through as she tapered off from the drugs. While not as big a of a role in the story, Melissa also shared how this affected her relationship with her family, friends, and career.

Overall, Melissa's writing was poetic and flowed effortlessly despite the topic not being light on the heart. Being a Speech-Language Pathologist, I immediately connected to her narrative with her son who has special needs. While she at first had little education or knowledge about children with Down's Syndrome, I loved witnessing how her perception of children with disabilities changed as she grew to lover her son and the special needs community.

[Amanda Nelson · Rating 2 out of 5]

I find it hard to "rate" a biography/autobiography, but here it is:

🔖Two stars for raising awareness about benzodiazepine use and abuse.

🔖This wasn't a "page turner" for me. I found myself bored, initially, and not long after that increasingly frustrated and irritated as the story went on with the way the author seemed to blame everyone else and take no accountability for her actions.

🔖The author came off very shallow. It happened to her. It's terrible. But the way she got to "handle" this all, she was quite fortunate having the opportunities she did to detox.

🔖It was all about her...it is an autobiography, but what about her kids? Her husband? Her husband was painted in a very bad light, and I found it hard to stomach...not because of his behavior but because how she seemed so ungrateful. It very much came off as "poor me!" "Everyone is out to get me and they all messed up my life."

🔖She came off very vengeful to me.


🖐️ My review comes from a place of understanding severe sleep deprivation. I slept two hours a night max for over a year. I have a child with special needs with significant sleep issues, along with two other children. We are not all the same, and everyone handles sleep deprivation differently, but I can sure understand where she's coming from. I have never tried any kind of medication for sleep, even when offered. I was afraid I wouldn't be able to wake up in the middle of the night when my kids needed me.This story was eye opening in what these medications can do to a person if not taken appropriately.

[Kelsi Berry · Rating 2 out of 5]

I hate giving low ratings to memoirs, but I need to be honest. First, there was some very lyrical writing that was nice and interesting things I learned while reading this book. The author is a poet which if you aren’t a huge poetry fan (like me) can just make everything seem very exaggerated and dramatic. Not necessarily her experience with drug withdrawal (not trying to judge that aspect) but everything she describes is just very dramatic. She says heft or hefted or hefty like over 20 times…now I don’t like the word anymore. She talks about the recession over a dozen times (an estimate) which seemed super irrelevant in a book about addiction (wait sorry, dependence…she doesn’t like the word addiction). There’s a pretty heavy dose of self righteousness, “I feel like a f***king campion” next to her making her ex husband sound like a terrible person when he stayed with her through years and years of this mess. Just a bad taste in my mouth. Also, I just hate listening to someone exclaim “Jesus” or GD and overly use the F word….you’re a poet you should have better ways to express yourself.

[Bookaholic · Rating 3 out of 5]

DNF @60%

‼️Do NOT read this book if you’re pregnant.‼️

The author makes the pregnancy and the childcare sound like the worst thing in the world. I have such a terrible aftertaste from reading it.

On one hand, I feel empathy for her experience and can’t imagine not being able to sleep. That’s terrible how bad it must have been for the author.

On the other, the narrative is too self-centered. I actually noticed through the timeline how she alienated her husband, whom she portrayed as not such a good man, let’s just say. She had never expressed an understanding that it must have been super hard for him too. No, it was all about me-me-me-me-me.

Also, only after taking the benzos for a whole YEAR and a HALF did she finally sat down to research it and it’s horrible side effects. Seriously… At this point in the millennium, think pretty much everyone and their puppy knows that you can’t just trust any random doctor blindly.

[Robyn · Rating 5 out of 5]

BLOOD ORANGE NIGHT
Melissa Bond

I was a bit reluctant to read this, so I listened instead. I really enjoyed the rather lyrical writing style and am so glad that I listened.

I found that I was not very surprised that the issue was sort of swept under the carpet by big pharma, after all, it is about money, not really your health. A fact, I think is supported by all the drug ads on TV, I guess it can go both ways. I notice that I can get a Xanax prescription online, for a small office fee of about 500.00.

I was surprised as her husband that it took so long to withdraw, but I guess it makes sense logically. It is a bit scary to think that the symptoms jump from one to the next and if you didn't know it... wow, could you have a bunch of little brown bottles in your medicine cabinet.

So not only interesting, it was educational and could go a long way to prevent someone from just believing their health care provider without question.

5 stars

Happy Reading!

[Ashley Holstrom · Rating 4 out of 5]

Melissa Bond just wanted some relief from her post-pregnancy insomnia. Her doctor casually prescribed her a high dose of sleeping pills, which worked great for a few weeks. When she stopped sleeping again, they upped her dose, again and again, until her body became so addicted that quitting cold-turkey would kill her. She spent months tapering off the pills, visiting all kinds of doctors, and watching her marriage dissolve.

Blood Orange Night is an absolutely stunning memoir about motherhood, insomnia, and addiction to benzodiazepines, told in fiery prose.

✨ From Get Inside the Mind of an Addict with These Memoirs at Crooked Reads.

[Basic B's Guide · Rating 3 out of 5]

3.5 stars

Glad I listened to this one. I definitely have compassion for the author and appreciate her bringing attention to unintentional addiction to something that is commonly prescribed.

All she wanted was to sleep! I listened to the audiobook thanks to Simon Audio and could feel her frustration and fear. Her love for her children shined bright and I’m glad she was able to come through it all.

[Lindsey · Rating 5 out of 5]

Where do I start with this one..?

🌟🌟🌟🌟🌟/5

How many of you know about Ativan? Xanax? In the psychiatric field, these medications are staples. With a background working in psychiatric facilities and promoter of #mentalhealth, this book hit me hard. You may wonder how someone "accidentally" becomes a addict - welcome to Melissa Bond's waking nightmare.

Her experience with benzodiazepines and the failure she experienced from professionals who swore it would fix her insomnia will make your gut churn. Several times, I found myself putting the book down because I was so enraged and heartbroken.

Melissa's poetic background comes through in this book. You'll find yourself being swept away by her lyrical words, empathizing, enraged, scared, and grieving. Her openness in discussing the good, bad, and ugly parts of her journey make her an even more endearing figure on a taboo topic.

Recovery is not linear nor is it easy.

I plan to make her story part of my educational material for future clients dealing with substance abuse and in teaching the importance of pharmacological education. I could write a book on how much I enjoyed her book and on how important the subject matter is.

Instead, I'll tell you that this book will be available to purchase on 06/14/2022 - and I strongly encourage everyone to read it.

[Christina Clark · Rating 2 out of 5]

I wanted to make sure I explained my low review.

I had an incredibly hard time getting past the writing style. Figurative language was used to its death. I found myself having a hard time caring about the powerful story because of the tone the author takes.

While I am sure her word choice and tone were meant to give a sense of her emotional state while on the Ativan, I found her to be narcissistic in nature. Her attitude towards her friends, children (at times), and especially her husband was so negative I didn't feel the compassion I wanted to.

[Martha Harper · Rating 1 out of 5]

I hated this book. The author sets herself up as a warrior saint besieged by a useless selfish husband, inept medical care and aggressively cruel supporting players. She makes sure to differentiate herself from “real” addicts who she implies are selfish and driven by weakness and hedonistic goals. She assumes no responsibility for taking something unquestioningly for an extended time despite red flags.

[Jeanne Murphy · Rating 2 out of 5]

Audio-The important information on benzodiazepines I appreciated. However it droned on like a whine to me so much that I actually felt some empathy for her poor excuse of a husband.

[Kinga · Rating 5 out of 5]

„But I’m alive. I may be sleepless, but I’m alive. That counts for something.”

So far this is the most honest read of 2022 for me. Melissa Bond didn’t sugarcoat her life stories and experience with benzodiazepines, and I cannot imagine how hard it was to write these pages, let alone live them.

This fight against prescribed drugs can only be won by spreading the truth about them, and she did just that with this book. She is most certainly not alone in this nightmare but I’m really happy that she can say that she won.

Also, on a completely different note I was so shocked to read that she got a cap and tickets to a Seattle Mariners game for Shaun, because that’s my favorite team too haha, and they are not popular at all. This quote was just another drop of honesty:

“He isn’t a fan of the Seattle Mariners. Not many people are unless you live in Seattle and get whipped into a froth over bad baseball. Last year the Mariners were dead last in the American League West.”